138: Friction Maxxing with Johnny Pemberton | Soder Podcast | EP 135

We're taping the special next week. I'm very excited. For those of you who have tickets, I'm very excited for the show. But then in July, I'm back on the road, writing a whole new hour, building it up. I'm very excited to do that. That's one of the fun parts of doing stand-up is just trying new stuff and hoping that it works. So check me out. I'm gonna be at the Comedy Vault in Batavia, Illinois, July 9th through the 11th. New York Comedy Club in Stanford, Connecticut, July 16th through the 18th. And then in Montreal, I'm doing Club Soda on July 25th. All these tickets are available at dansoder.com. And then the full list of clubs for the rest of the year is on this poster. Go to at dansoder on Instagram or go to dansoder.com and see where we're going. But I mean, we're talking about everywhere. Albany, Baltimore, Spokane, Portland, Hartford, Connecticut, all the big dogs. I'm very excited. I'm excited. I'm gonna be in Calgary, in Winnipeg, all these places coming to run and build a new hour. Dansoder.com for all those tickets. Thank you for watching the podcast. Are you married? I have a live-in wife. Yes. Yeah, she lives in. She lives in, dude. She stays there. How long have you been married for? A while. Yeah? We've been together a long time. We've been together so long, we've been to people's weddings and then they got divorced. Really? Yeah. I've had three of those. Dude, that's. How old are you? 44. Yeah, I'm 42. Yeah. Mid-40s is where you start seeing them come, like weddings that you remember having a hard time getting to. Yeah. Divorce. Yeah, like how dare you? There should be like a rebate, like a 10-year rebate or something. Yeah. Like you send in a coupon and you're like, I'm gonna need Delta miles because I bought a plane ticket. The destination wedding, I think I've never been to one. Really? Yeah. I mean, I don't think. The one I went to, that was the most destination is still together. So I'm very happy about it. We went to Guatemala. Guatemala. It was a beautiful wedding. Was she Guatemalan? No. They're both white people from the United States. Oh, wow. How dare they? How dare they? But it was. I didn't realize it was like kind of a. Like not a. I guess a cottage industry where people are like, do you want to go to dangerous Central American countries and get married? My friend got married in Iceland, but that was like an elopement and he just had like, you know, his parents, her parents, and like. Like a few, you know, really close people. That was cool. They had a beautiful wedding at like an old church and it was like really fucking great. Your dollar goes far. Yeah. Dollar goes real far. Yeah. I think that might have been one of the reasons because it was a beautiful wedding and it wasn't that big, but it was like definitely. It was the most destination wedding I've ever been to. What was your guys' wedding? We eloped. We went to Hawaii. That's great. It was the great. I mean, it's the greatest idea we ever had. Anytime someone's like, oh, we're going to have a. Wedding. I'm like, don't do it. Yeah. Because it's so much money. It's like so stressful because the wedding isn't for you. It's for everyone else. Yeah. It's for like your fucking parents and stuff. I think it's a bad idea. We keep joking around that that's like, what are we doing? Let's just go to the court. Let's just go to the courthouse because we haven't like. Go to the courthouse. Go to Hawaii. It's the idea. We have a party later. That's what it is. It's the idea of like setting up the whole wedding. Yeah. It's like, oh, it's daunting. Actually, both of us are busy. So you're like. Are you doing it? We haven't started even setting it up. Don't do it. Honestly, don't do it. Because you can have a party for a third the cost. It's more fun. You're already married. You don't have to do all this stuff. Everything about it is. Everything about it is better. I've also heard in New York City, if you say it's a wedding party, they will charge you 30% more. Of course. Because they know. That's what Liz from the Cellar told me. She was like, don't ever fucking say you're doing a wedding party. No, say you're having like a fucking bereavement. Say like, oh. These people are happy, whoever died. We're doing a pre-bereavement. My dad is dying. And he's a prick. Yeah, we hate him. People are looking real forward to this guy going in the dirt. If you could serve his food cold, make sure he gets cold food. But also, we're going to play a lot of songs you might hear at a wedding, so don't be alarmed. Yeah, it's because he used to be a music producer. So he's reminded of the money he lost. We're trying to push him into the grave. And he's also behind some of the biggest hits at weddings. Like, the song Celebrate. But he didn't get the money. He didn't get the money. No, he didn't get the money. And that's why we want him to die. We want him to remember. Yeah, I would be. Cooling the gang. If I. That would be a stupid thing that I would do where I would like meet a party event space and go, this is our wedding party. And they'd be like. That would be something that I would give up that info. Yeah, you can't. That I would tell a smarter friend and they'd be like, why would you say that? I have a friend who was a pretty famous actor in England. And whenever he has someone come over to his house to do, like, work, he has to hide. Really? Because if they know, it's like, oh, oh, it's you, mate. It's like, they're going to fucking. Oh, money bag, dude. Sir Roger. Sir Roger Dalton. What is it? Sir Timothy Jason James the Fool. Oh, your father was a duke. And his father was a duke. I'm charging you eight times. Does he have, like, a hiding room? Or does he just, like, keep going into a different room as they walk into the room? Gosh, I didn't think about it that way. Because I would be, I would be, like, I wouldn't. If it happened enough, I would have to set up a place where I go, I'll just be down in the. In the panic room. Have, like, a panic room? Yeah. The contractor panic room where you hide from. Contractor's going to pick the backyard. You're like, I'll be in the panic room. Let me know when he leaves. I hate it. Because I, like, my mailman knows me. And it's like. That's fun. It's cool, but it's also kind of like. That's old school. Yeah. But you're right, he does. He can go through your stuff. He can. Yeah, I think it's good. I think it's kind of a good thing. It's kind of like. Like having. Someone has your back, in a way. You know, I don't know how to describe that. It's good and bad. I would. It does give the feeling of a neighborhood. Yeah, I live in, like, a real neighborhood, though. For real. Yeah, in Los Angeles, right? Yeah. It's, like, very neighborhood-y. Like, my neighbors are regular people who have, like, normal jobs and stuff. That's great. It's kind of great. This is, like. I don't know any of my neighbors. Really? Yeah, and we've been here for a couple of years. And it's like, they leave. And then what happens is sometimes the maintenance guys are fixing the locks so you can walk around their empty apartment, which we've done on a couple of the things here. What, can they tell you, like, hey, Dan? Yeah, they like me. Hey, Dan, this place is empty. You want to sniff around? Well, I'll be like, hey, is it cool if I go look around? They're like, yeah. Like, don't do anything. But then you go and you go, holy shit, this is nicer. What we've realized is we are the tiniest apartment on this floor. By a lot. Like, the way our apartment is constructed with, like, the hallway all the way down and then it opens into a room, you go, this is, like, secret family. This is a secret family apartment where they go, just walk in, the kitchen's all the way back to the right, there's a room right there, don't fucking make any noise. Because we went to the one over here and it was, like, the sweeping views, how beautiful the living room was. I was like, oh, this is way nicer. Is it rent control? Is that a thing? Not rent control. There are rent control apartments in New York, but this one isn't. This one is a big company that owns it. I don't understand anything about New York living. I feel like it's, like, the most daunting thing. It is. I can't believe it. It is. I can't imagine living here. You survive it. You don't, like, thrive in it. When I go to L.A., Pimp's nodding his head, but it's true. It's like, you go to L.A., you guys have backyards. Oh, my God. It's so nice. It's ridiculous. Like, I was living here for about a year for the first season of Fallout and I was, I stayed three different places and one of the places I stayed was the High Rise. Sure. I was going nuts because you wake up and you have to go, I need to go outside immediately when I wake up. That's so nice. I have to go outside. It doesn't matter what the weather is. I got to go out there, put my feet in the dirt. Get grounded. Here, you have to go through a, it's like leaving a spaceship. You have to go through, like, a decompression chamber and then they're like, release him to the outside. It's like, that's what it feels like. But, the one thing I will argue New York over any other city is the availability of anything you need at any hour. Yeah, that's true. It's just a giant city and also, all the best stuff is here. It is great. It is a better place. I do say that a lot, that New York is quite literally better. It just, we have, like, the premier Broadway show. Like, you want to do Broadway, you want all the concerts to come here, all the big bands come here, coffee, restaurants. Best coffee, best coffee, best restaurants. Best restaurants, you just go and you eat and you go, this place is unbelievable and not a lot of people know about it. What's funny about New York is, and I'm sure LA's a little bit like this, a restaurant will get written up in, like, the New York Times that wasn't supposed to. It just happened with this sandwich place that I like and then you show up and you look at one of the employees and they go, we got a write-up and you're like, fuck. It was bad. And then you have to, like, wait for the people to not go anymore. I don't do that anymore. I can't, I can't wait. Yeah? You're like, I need it now. If I go to a place, like, I have a coffee shop in my neighborhood, if I go by and it's busy, I'm like, oh, I'm not going there. I just don't want to, ugh, I just hate it. It's all about waiting in line now. I think it's, that's something that's broke humanity. Yeah. Our patience is absolutely zapped from Instagram. I think it's patience, though. I think it's patience. I think, like, young people, especially, I mean, I don't know, I'm not young, but a lot of the bitching is, You're not young? No, I'm very old. I'm 70. I lied to you. 70? 70 years old. That's when the shades are drawn. You gotta have, like, no sight. And then you see it and I'm all fucking old and shitty, but, like, I watch videos and they're like, oh, we can't afford houses. It's like, yeah, either can we. Yeah. But also, you're, like, 21. Chill the fuck out. We're in our 40s still waiting. Like, we've been waiting in line for houses, a lot of us being like, all right, any day now. And then 21-year-olds are like, I just got here. and you're like fuck you i don't yeah i don't have time for that i kind of go back and forth on it because i also feel like the whole patience thing is i don't know i feel like it's like it moves around it's not like exactly i feel like i'm pretty patient do you remember the dmv before phones i haven't been the dmv in probably since before cell phones i got i i've i what do you call i tricked the system i somehow was able to renew my license uh for the past like 15 years really i have to go now when i get home for the first time since i moved to la but you have a phone you just go look at your phone you can't i have to get my picture taken see check this out my photo on my id i want to see this ancient it's an ancient photo because you're a young looking guy so this fucking photo man i mean that's crazy that's from 2005 isn't that crazy that looks like a missing child it does it looks like you showed back up we found you john daddy's uh going to the cinema for 15 years i know it's easier because you have a phone back in the day when you had to like sit there with a magazine and you'd wait i still do that now that was in that was impatient that was patience it's like waiting and being like do that though yeah you would do something called friction maxing you hear about this no you're gonna like this friction maxing is this obviously it's an online idea like everyone everyone's maxing everything's maxing everything's max so it's the 80s again we're 80s everything's to the max friction maxing is when uh instead of making it easy on yourself you make it the hardest way possible so if you need it let's say you need like a roofing contractor you don't google that you ask someone and they're like oh i know a guy you're like okay you check them out you just do like everything it takes the longest way as opposed to the easy way i'm kind of thinking i might be into friction man i think i think that's how i live my life me too i'm into friction maxing now like if i go to the doctor's office i'm like i'm not looking at my phone the whole time i'm just gonna look at people now they call that raw dogging right raw dogging yeah i mean i like friction maxing better friction maxing does sound better because raw dogging is sex without a condom and that's the coolest thing in the world which is also just known as sex yeah like for thousands and thousands of years it was called sex and now we're like oh it's that's raw dogging i know it's just that's just what you do yeah no using a condom is the weird part yeah you're putting plastic on your penis it's like water on your dick top hatting i'm fucking i'm top hatting that's it turns regular sex back into sex and then if you use a condom you're top top hatting oh it's your top hat yeah it's a fancy boy i'm a top hatter yeah natural tip of the top hat you pull it off tip of the cap i filled it um the cap wag of the finger when you're on a show like did you play fallout i didn't until i uh got cast and then when you got cast on the show do you go what a cool what a fun yeah that's so fun it was cool i mean i've seen the game a bunch because i had back when i had roommates years ago i they played the game i would watch them play it so it's pretty familiar with like the way it looked and like so you kind of knew what the feel of the game was post-apocalyptic yeah and also like the humor of it too okay when you do the show at did you how much of the game did you play before you filmed the show i played uh probably like maybe i don't know 20 hours 30 hours of fallout 4 great in a hotel room in brooklyn that's very fun yeah that's very fun and then is there stuff like when you play fallout and then you film the show is there stuff that comes out of it like stuff that comes up in an episode where you go i know that i played that in the game yeah i guess so but there's there's so many easter eggs it is i mean everything's an easter egg yeah that's what you have to do to do something to turn something from like a video game to a show you have a fan base that's going to be like i need to know that you know the important shit so that's what i like about easter eggs yeah also it's like that thing where there's no amount of fallout i could play that would be legitimizing would like legitimize my fallout fandom like i just can't there's people who played that game for thousands and thousands of hours who know they get into arguments about different stuff and i have you know i mean i just can't i'm not even gonna try to do that so it's better for me just to be like basically no have you bumped up against the fan base in any way like that no they're so cool they're so cool about it because you those sometimes that can be a real like i'm a wrestling fan so i understand yeah yeah yeah so i understand i i i know how bad it could get because i am one of them yeah and you like see it and sometimes you're like chill the fuck out sometimes fans are the most critical of other fans but sometimes you have fans of something that ruin it for the fan base because they're assholes so it looks like that's the representation of the fan base where you go no it's just a dickhead who also happens to be a fan of fallout there's just so many fans that kind of run the gamut but yeah it seems like have you had just positive interactions though yeah i totally positive everyone's been really positive but it's i think it's because it's a you know it's a good show yeah it's a good show if they ruined if they ruined it they would have been just you know put on a a pike or something yeah dude that is that's where it's like god of wars they're making god of war i think it's i think it's uh they're like filming it right now i think or did they is it what's the name kratos thanos yeah uh kratos kratos whoever's they cast the guy who plays kratos and you look at it and you're like is it someone famous uh i think you would know him he's an actor that's not like off the top of the head famous not dave batista that'd be sick dave batista is i mean he's great but also he i feel like he's too he's too known yeah you know like you want someone who's less known you need him right on that cusp ryan hurst yeah that's great but you see that you know that guy you've seen that guy i mean that man is i always see as a beard yeah it's like pure that man is just a beard that man's been on an island yeah look at him that beard is cool as shit is that a sons of anarchy guy or something or what i don't know can you look up i think he was in sons of anarchy no disrespect ryan but i don't i just don't know he was in sons of anarchy who do you play in something he played he's like a big character what what's funny about that is as someone who's played a shit ton of god of war the first time he says boy you're gonna be like you need i what's crazy is you're going against a voice actor yeah who's really good so what do you take from that skinny guy you know all those guys are super deep voices i mean you have a deep voice yeah that's that's i mean ideally that's who i'd get to play as like a cool right uh greek god or roman whatever is greek or roman god but i think when there is something made like your character is in the video game no it isn't none of the characters are oh yeah i forgot except for maybe a few npcs like there's a guy which that makes it easier i think yeah because it has to be because that's the nature of the game is there aren't there's npcs and stuff you encounter but there's no like you play as a like your own loadout so there's no um which helped a lot because they didn't have to emulate anything existing they just had to get the world right and the characters are like does this character exist legitimately in the world if it does it's like you did it but otherwise it's like you know hey you know i don't really yeah you think about that because when you're doing an existing character you're like oh fuck now i got so pissed like yeah his hair goes left his hair goes left it's like that is left it's like no but when you're looking at it that's his laugh not the left when you look at now i'm out of it now i can't watch it nope her breasts aren't big enough her breasts are too small that was remember when they got mad about lola bunny not having giant titties who's all the bunny from space jam when they redid space jam with lebron i don't remember i don't know they got i'm sorry i'm not like i'm not really looking at a bunny's tits as much dan i'm sorry well i'm sorry i'm really into bunny's breasts sorry i'm a furry then you look over the corner she's stacked she's stacks of rabbit heads there's like i'm gonna raccoon costume masturbating i'm like oh no sorry his pleasure hole's open so he can show me his little red rocket oh god but yeah they were like when it was during the pandemic that space jam came out with lebron and they were like mad about it because they said they made her too athletic oh god i get wait which one's the which one was the first one okay from when we were kids got a jam with michael jordan that right one they made her the second one and they were like immediately they were like what where's your tits dude yeah the first guy that treated that is out of his mind that he was like special flawless tits are gone kind of a hero though too he said it he's like i don't think you could ever argue you love tits more than that guy i'm gonna say it everyone's thinking it uh excuse me uh council member where are our breasts where are lola bunny's big beautiful bunny tits uh this is the bronx city council sir i don't know but it's also like um remember when they made when they changed when they did sonic the hedgehog and they oh my god people lost their mind with his eyes and his teeth i heard a theory about that that they did it on purpose to get press oh because it was such an outrageous people got so fucking mad so pissed but everyone knew about it like i knew about i'm not like a huge sonic person or anything but i heard about this like what are they so pissed about you're not in the sonic lifestyle i know i'm not like i didn't roll in here yeah that's what they did they turned them from the left to the right because they were like but you think so do you think they on purpose make the one on the left i mean that's a pretty deep conspiracy but that would be cool right you know what i mean like the whole idea of doing something i don't think it's a conspiracy i think it makes more it makes more how we see everybody move now that makes sense yeah i think like 20 years ago you'd say that you'd be like what a weird thing to do but now you go absolutely they yeah yeah everything's done to like the whole pt barnum no publicity is bad publicity everything's a work now yeah they're all trying to get you to work they're trying to get you mad so you pay attention because what sucks is a lot of people realized uh people pay attention when they're mad oh yeah because it gets you in a higher emotional state yeah so you're like i saw somebody sweating yeah i saw somebody online saying like there was a certain point where they went why are we selling pleasure let's sell anger anger gets people way more on board and it gets way people as opposed to like man enjoy your life like enjoy your life have a slight like they used to like what i i know this is like a lot of what used to be isms but it is true they would be like hey if you work hard you get a nice house you can enjoy your life and now they're like everyone's against you and you're like oh fucking kill everybody but it does it gets you to pay attention we both know about the sonic movie because people were mad about the TV so pissed about it never saw the movie i didn't see it either i should see it's supposed to be great really is it one of those ones where they go there's actually a message and then you find out it's about pediatric pediatric cancer the whole time where you go i thought it was about him fucking rings and have you ever seen uh chris angel live no i saw him live about let me forever ago this is in vegas dude it is rough really because he brings out a cancer kid and you're just like oh god i'm i'm a couple beers deep i came to a magic show in vegas and then we got a we got a cancer kid out here so it just doesn't um like being the dangerous spooky magician and bringing out something that's actually dangerous and spooky yeah like you go what's wrong can your mind not handle this kid has stage four lymphoma and you're like he's wearing a batman mask it's supposed to be his kid but i don't think it is because obviously his kid's not doing three shows a night for you don't know you don't because i'm so magical i pull the cancer from him and put it back in oh my god i put it into my motorcycle collection you got to walk by on the way in is that what do you do you walk by a collection of all the motorcycles that are increasingly not drivable like they're like you know like batman style where that doesn't move yeah you're like that's not street legal that can't be legal i would love to go just go to vegas and do street legal or not with his motorcycle oh my god you need to do it with is gary oldman because they're friends oh isn't that funny gary oldman and chris angel are buddies like best friends or just like beer for because i feel like sometimes you find out to like ben affleck and jimmy kimball drink together or like hang out you got that makes sense but chris angel and lieutenant dan pretty crazy lieutenant dan gary oldman oh no gary oldman that's gary sinise yeah my bad i'm sorry i'm sorry commissioner gordon i'm sorry uh white boy day it's okay it's okay dan it's pretty good it's okay dan it's pretty good oldman you've been working on your that was my sinise oh no that was an old man i thought that was your old man that's my sin i can't go on the apollo mission i got i got sick you know what framed differently like seeing people in public my old man is i'm seeing what the fuck i don't know it's pretty good i can't do it it's pretty honestly i like cold i like cold trying celebrities i can't do old man he's such a chameleon my old he is because my old man would be it ain't white boy day but that's is that what's his true romance which is the greatest character of all time what's his name in that character uh something young blood something sliced look up uh true romance god that's the best fucking character man his eye all fucked up if i was that age i would have done that character i was brad pitt in that movie just a stoned roommate that lives with the guy going through shit such a great character too that was like the fucking ultimate you hear people say about brad pitt right he's a character actor who just happens to be his name was drixel spivy but what's his real name though wasn't that i'm thinking i'm confusing him with the character from uh what's it called the professional yeah what's his name plays uh that that white dude who's got the dress hold on i got i got it open right i got uh imdb open right here same as like like mickey two steps or some bullshit like that from what movie from the professional yeah that movie is that movie's real tough to watch when you get older because you go oh this is kind of about have you seen the french version of it leon leon the professional yeah it's a little difference even more than that really yeah like full romance because it's the french version the french like oh you know her age she's so beautiful is gary oldman's character stansfield does he have like a nickname i don't know man he's got like a nickname like mickey youngblood or stan stansfield so i also it's funny is i've smoked so much weed that when you ask me from a movie from the 90s i go it's kind of in there i remember natalie portman was around my age but so the french one they full-on have leon and the girl it's just a different cut of the movie i think there's more of the romance i don't know i haven't seen it in a long time one of those movies that ages poorly and then like doing press tours where you go well i just don't think we knew that that's how that was gonna go i also i mean i can't even say it i don't know if it ages that poorly i feel like it's one of those things where did they have a romance he was kind of a simpleton yeah i think he's like more like he was like a shut-in and she was actually i mean i'm talking about what i want the american version is like her child like wander and things and her like trying to learn about the business and he realizes how bad it is maybe i'm forgetting stuff he's a protector more than he's like a like a killing savant yes like asexual killing savant and she teaches him how to be a human yeah but i wouldn't be surprised in the french version if they're like but they are in love they want to have oh she is a nubile uh you know she's a nubile young girl man what's your name i'm kind of uncomfortable with this guys especially with the epstein files out and stuff i just don't know all right i heard about that you oh yeah someone told me about that oh my god you know i just remembered oh those came out that's like a new york thing right because didn't he jeffrey epstein he's from here that was the funny the jim downey the jim downey on uh conan's podcast where he goes jeffrey epstein the new york financier like that was his really yeah it's so funny it's one of jim downey on conan is one of the best episodes of a podcast i've ever watched that because he just goes through all these old jokes that he wrote for norm and all this shit but yeah he does the he goes jeffrey epstein the new york the new york financier it is crazy to if you have any family that goes i don't know what the epstein files are i wonder if i do at this point god i think there's probably some people out there who don't know about it right because they're like their window of information is just so narrow everywhere yeah because it's been underground being pushed by like q and on and then like 4chan and h and and then it became real and then people are like oh you think people have it in their minds it's like oh it's just internet it's like pizzagate yeah which is part of it it turns out might not be as false as people are saying isn't that crazy it's like everyone has egg on their face now about that it's exactly what we were talking about with the sonic thing it's just like a way worse evil version of that where you go i bet it is true i bet there is parts of it that are true so that they can go that was a crazy conspiracy there's a cia technique they use called poisoning the well yeah or they take something that's true and add a bunch of crazy psycho shit into it so uh everything associated with that seems like it's nuts and it worked it worked with that i would have loved to have known that technique in middle school i could have made myself sound so much cooler there's so many cia techniques where it's like middle school kids would be like yes yes okay yes ergo prop hoctor prop straw man well teacher well teacher actually what happened was my father i don't know i think i was dosed to learn your like the mk ultra so if i miss one day of school what if i miss a week that way it really sells the like going too far on a version of this so this is my group that i'm working on they're like you mk altered your whole bus you're like mk ultra yeah that's the big one the ultimate which was really just like mind fuck oh yeah because uh ted kaczynski was a he was a victim of mk ultra have you been looking into him recently i know all about him are you really ted are you really are you for real no did you watch i've been reading a lot about him so if i'm gonna i'm gonna go into some stuff where you're like if you don't know about him we're getting into a place where i think i know because he wasn't wrong he wasn't wrong but also bomb people you should not send explosive devices i just want to there's a statement from the soda podcast here at the soda podcast we do not approve of sending bombs in the mail that is a felony felony i think that don't hurt anybody you're gonna get mandatory minimum on that but if you read his shit i haven't read the manifesto but i do there's parts parts that you go some of this shit lines up just about technology about the eroding of society about how it will kind of take away our basic functions and make us reliant on this fucking thing yeah and then you see there's a lot of people that were on kaczynski's list that he sent bombs to that were on the epstein files oh that were collaborators with jeffrey epstein and a lot of shit and you're going wow okay in fact one of the guys was a professor at yale and uh kaczynski sent him a bomb that blew out his right eye and like took out his hand he almost killed him and he just recently was a epstein epstein conspirator that had to leave yale because of his ties with epstein and you're like dude this motherfucker kazitsky was doing this in the early 90s we didn't even have dial up yet and this motherfucker's like nah this is gonna be a problem and he was a virgin was he really oh yeah you don't know about this i that's that's i did not know have you seen the miniseries they did no it's good is it i mean i think it's true it's not like uh obviously he's not they don't make him a hero sure but they do explain everything and they go into the mk ultra of it all so if you think about ted's what he did he was a victim the government is essentially responsible for him sure because they created him yeah with the mk ultra they made him lose his mind and he is brilliant yeah also i'm not like a kazinsky fan i'm just like it's crazy that there were parts of his shit that you go yeah it's not wrong but also he was taking wide stabs at what technology was going to be but yeah the government created this fucking insane genius they created him so then he had to go live in the woods because he was so paranoid yeah but he never fucked do you think that's the bomb i think definitely yeah unfortunately good pussy stops yeah i think it does i think it's a thing where that like that much build-up yeah is gonna it's like a bomb in your pants essentially and he had to get it out and he needed to send it to someone he just couldn't get it out alone and so i wonder if like a lady a lady laying in on a mattress with a sheet in his cabin is like ted will you come back to bed he's got those and he's like just this bomb yeah he's like i do want some pussy and then like six people are alive you know there was some thing where i mean i don't know how true it is but in that miniseries he makes like a handmade gift for some woman he knows her child and he sees the kid like loving this electronic thing it's probably a narrative device it's probably not real but it's just that thing where i am gonna watch i'm not gonna lie i know you came here to promote something but i'm gonna watch the kaczynski miniseries now i'm gonna look it up watch mermaid and then watch that watch johnny's movie mermaid then go into kaczynski it's a kaczynski tie-in it's a great appetizer it's a nice amuse-bouche actually kind of is in a weird way because the character i play in that movie is sort of is like a kaczynski florida man okay but not as you know not as uh violent is this a movie that you made your set like with a bunch of other people an indie film indie film written directed by tyler cornack he's a great writer director he did a movie called butt boy have you seen that no the title is is uh and you know indicates something else yeah but it's a hilarious amazing incredible indie movie he made about six five six years ago um super funny just very dark yeah i was a big fan of that movie and we became friends and he wrote this movie and uh we made it and uh it's i love it yeah it's super great do you think that's where um the industry is going is just people being like i'm just gonna go make it and then absolutely we talk about this all the time it's such like uh you make something and then the big companies go like give it to us yeah i mean we've got money give it to us and then it always something always happens but i feel like indie movies indie music indie comedy specials everything is going the way of there's too much bureaucracy with the big corporations there's not enough money in the studios anymore either it's all going to their ceos they're not like oh yeah money back into the company it's absolutely terrible uh i've even talked with a woman who is like sort of on about to retire from i think lions gate or something like that and she's like it's the worst it's ever been yeah no one's positive terrible terrible terrible kind of deserves it too because it was very opulent for a while and they really were feeling themselves telling people how to behave and act and vote and then you go you guys are a business that is dependent on people wanting you around and i don't know i just feel like the entertainment industry especially in the last 20 to 25 years really got like well last six years i mean last six years it has taken a dive that is that's what i mean i i'm saying like i think the last six year dive is because of the 25 years of like hi yeah i'm anthony hopkins here's how you recycle and it's like why are you telling me how to live you play other people i think people just got sick of the entertainment industry and we're watching the fall off definitely from covid for sure sure consolidation no one had anything to do so they were watching everything and from the strikes sure and the strikes not really resolving anything the strikes like oh how about can we have two more dollars like yeah okay like oh we did it it was so funny watching them be like no ai and the studios were like we're using ai and the actors were like just not that much ai a little bit yeah and they're like maybe but i don't feel bad for the studios i don't feel bad for these companies i i feel like uh i feel like the true thing should be fuck it let's go full nepotism let's make the studios kids have to make the movies now like you work there your dad runs 20th century fox you're the director of their big you're doing the new bond movie you have amazon studio bezos's daughter has to do the mate you have to make the bond movie they could do that they could also just make everyone No one gets paid. You only get back-end points. That's great. So if that's the case, then, like, you know how Todd Phillips did that with The Hangover? Did he? Yeah, because they didn't want to cast, like, any of those guys. They didn't want to cast Zach or Bradley or any of the people he wanted. The studio did not want them. But he was like, these are the guys. I have to have them. I will, you can pay me the minimum, minimum rate, and I'll just take more points. This is, I think this is true. It sounds true. And they're like, okay, fine. And, you know, he kind of won that one, didn't he? Yeah, that's like what Ryan Coogler just did with Sinners. And there's always, like, that thing where people get mad and they go, like, why is he doing it? But South Park set themselves up years ago. I believe this is true, but they did something, like, where they got the George Lucas deal on their merchandise. Where they were like, we want 90 cents of every dollar. Less up front, more later, because you're banking on it being a success. Yeah, and I think the reason they went with Comedy Central was Comedy Central was like, we'll give you that. And then South Park merchandise became like, and now they have their own studio. Now they can make their own shit. Now that, you know what I mean? It's like they freed themselves. Pretty great. That's the thing that always is. It's like, if you ever want to make something, you have to find a certain freedom that can let you make a movie like Mermaid. Yeah, well, we have, you know, we have a financier. I mean, it's an indie movie, so. Do the financiers come around the set? Yeah, but he's great. Our executive producer is a wonderful guy. He's like a DP himself. And so, you know. I always just wonder if it's like very rich people who are like, I wanted to make a movie. I mean, sometimes it is. I think it's all over the map, but sometimes they're good, sometimes they're bad. Yeah. Sometimes they have great, great taste and they like someone's work because he financed Tyler's other movie. Okay. And so it's just, you know, getting bigger and bigger movies. Yeah, that works out great. It's a $2 million movie. That's our budget. That's great. And the guy goes, I got that. You want to make that? And then you go, fuck, we can make this movie. Have you ever been on a set? Because you've been on a set. You've been on some big shows and big movies like 21 Jump Street. Have you ever seen a financier come around and go like, oh, this guy doesn't realize that he's only here because of the money? I mean, with those studio movies, it's different because those are like, you know, they're like producers from the studio there. Sure. Those guys, I don't know. I don't think I've ever been on something where it was like that. I mean, I've heard stories about it. Yeah. But I don't think I personally. Because I'm always fascinated by those people that are so rich that they don't understand. And that their help isn't needed or wanted. Like, get out of here, man. Just enjoy it later. Yeah. I mean, we never really had any. We had like a lot of like business people around billions. Yeah. But they never like, they were always like, they treated us like they were at the zoo. Really? They just like walk around and be like, whoa, this is pretty cool. And so you, like they, you know, poke you and shit. Like, oh, so you. No. You play one of the finance guys. I would fire a guy like you. Like, that's what. Yeah. There was always a big laugh. Yes. You have to laugh with them. You win, huh? That is what. That's the Hollywood phoniness that I've absolutely participated in. You gotta do a little bit. But I've been like, oh, yeah. And then I walk away and your face drops. You go, all right, well, I'm here for another two more hours. But those guys, if they do that, those guys are never that cool or effective. Some of the biggest producers I've ever met were like nicest, most chill dudes ever. Yeah. I remember meeting Neil Moritz once in a makeup trailer. And he said, hi, Johnny. How you doing? I'm getting a haircut. I control the world. Yeah. You've made the Fast and Furious movies. Yeah. And he's like such a nice guy. That's always what I'm interested. Like, it's funny to me when friends of mine have had success that they can touch these people that are like very successful. And you're like, like Tim Dillon's a guy where you're like, I can't believe all the people you've had lunch with. Right. That have probably affected world policy. Yeah. Like arms dealers and stuff. Yeah, exactly. That's what, that's the joke I always make is when you, when you hang out with Tim, you meet someone that's like despicable. Despicable, but they're nice where they're like, I'm Anna child soldier. My family put children soldiers and you're like, that's all. That's one of the jokes I always make because it is always someone like that where they're like, I'm from Dow that, and you're like, Oh God. So you pour forever chemicals and rivers and they're like still doing it. But I love the way Tim just tells it like it is. I love your podcast. It's so, you're so funny. But that billions had a little bit like that. Like you'd be on set and they'd be like, I was talking to this old guy one time and he was like you know that's the guy that shorted enron and you're like whoa I would have had a way different conversation if I knew that. Yeah. I would have been like, how the fuck did you know? He doesn't want you to know that, does he? No, he was trying to talk to me about metal sighting. I was like, what's this guy's fascination? We were looking at this building. Talking about metal sighting. I was like, yeah, I don't know. That metal sighting. He's like, do you think it could come down? And I was like, I don't know. I think that might be what they call an autist. Yeah, maybe. And then he saw ahead. He touched the computer and was like, it's going to crash. But that's always amazing to me, where there's people that do crazy shit, but then have just social lives, where they're like, all the Artemis people now are coming back. Really? From going around the moon. They're getting laid now? Kind of. They're all coming home and having these weird things where they're like, hey, it's good to be home. And you're like, well, I want to talk about the moon. I don't want to talk about, they're trying to have regular conversations. You couldn't pay me to suck a space dick. Yeah, that's what it is. You're like, that's the conversation. I don't want to have aliens up there. I don't know. I'm always fascinated that people can compartmentalize shit when they've done really cool stuff, because you're like, well, that's just all I want to talk about. But I also could see how that would be boring, where you're like, please don't bring up that thing again. I think that's the case. I always feel like those people don't want to talk about it, because unless you want to really get into it, then you can't get into it. So let's talk about something that's fun, like dogs. Yeah. Well, actually, yeah, I'm doing my own coffee now. I'm roasting my own beans. You go, I don't want to talk about this. And they go, but this is what you want to talk about. Because I'm like, I think I get that way. When I meet fans of comedy that want to talk, I'm like, oh, yeah, I'll talk comedy all day. I love to talk comedy. I don't. Really? Oh, my God. It's like the worst. See, I like it when they're like, I like this stand-up. I'll be like, oh, OK. I think it's interesting, because you're finding out. But I'm also a wrestling fan. Yeah, so that's like a fandom thing. Yeah. I think I've been too harsh on LA, because LA does have a lot of cool stuff where you bump into people that are also making, like, that whole city is. Yeah. The thing I don't like about it is something that, as I get older, I'm starting to turn on, which is that I do like it. I felt like everyone was in the business every time I went there. Did you just be a hater of LA? Oh, yeah. Really? Big hater of LA. You know the whole, like, meme about LA and New York, right? What? You seen that one? It's from, I think it's from, what's the show? Don Draper show. You know, Mad Men. Oh, it's like we don't even think about you? Yeah. Yeah, it's like I hate you every day. I fucking love New York. Yeah. I don't live here, but I fucking love coming here. I love it so much. Like, I can't live here, man. Yeah. It's too cool. But all these New Yorkers are like, fuck LA. It's like, why? We like you. I know. We like you a lot. You know what it is? I think it is early in the business, everyone knows you have to move to LA. And a lot of people are like, but I don't. I like living in New York. And they're like, you gotta go to LA. You gotta go there. And then. And it's like, honestly, I think it's like, it's like going to a place and only seeing a shittiest part where you go. Yeah, I suppose that's true. Because once I had friends move out there, and they live there, and they have backyards and shit, and you're like, you go and they live. Like you say, you have neighbors that aren't in the industry. You just live in a neighborhood. Oh, do you have the meme? I mean, it's pretty well known. LA, New York. Yeah, I don't even think of you at all. Other way around. Oh. It's quite literally the other way around. Who fucking lives in your head, man? They do. You know what? Who made that? That's the wrong, that's the wrong fucking meme, man. Misinformation. That's quite literally. Did you just make that? Yeah. It's funny. He's over there. He's like. How he doesn't give a fuck about New York. Because they're a bunch of like, you know. I will say what LA people. That's the wrong direction. What LA. Oh, I'm walking here. We turned you forward. I'm fucking walking here. Johnny moved here. Johnny lives in Brooklyn now. He lives in a three-floor walk up in Brooklyn. God, I used to watch that movie all the time. I wanted to bang on a cab. So bad. Then you do it and you go, oh, these motherfuckers are from a country where they will fight me. Yeah. They go, bang on me. I paid $100,000 for this medallion. I'll fucking kill you. And I'm going against Uber now. But it was, it was a thing that I will admit as a reformed LA hater that I was just like, fuck LA. It sucks. But then you go out there and you're like, I think the reason we say it sucks so bad is because your quality of life, maybe not quality of work. It's a difference. It's a different quality of life. It's a different thing. As you get older, you go, it's quiet. Oh, it's so quiet. You go out there and you go, they have a backyard. I live in an apartment with my 50-pound dog who's like, can we please go to grass? And you're like, I think as I get older, I understand it. But I couldn't live there because I'm too lazy. I would get a backyard. I would get a house. You stay there. And I go, I'm not fucking going. I mean, I don't leave. I've left the house in the past three days. I've left the house. I mean, my hotel. I've left it. I've done more than I've done in almost a month in L.A. That's what I mean. L.A., you get somewhere, do spots in L.A. And you're like, oh, do two spots. And you go, yeah, it's great. There's like two hours in between it. And then it's 15 minutes of traffic. And you're like, why did it? And then you go, I thought I could do a show in Santa Monica. And everyone in L.A. goes, oh, yeah. It's like a different planet. I know. So I could never live there. I could. So I went to one spot, had the greatest chicken sandwich I've ever had. And then my friend's like, you know, this movie's starting in 10 minutes. You want to go see it? I'm like, it's right on the corner. I'm like, okay, let's go. That's what I mean. I saw a movie. Like, what the fuck? That's wild. I came home last night. And I was like, Katie was like, how'd the shows go? And I was like, oh, like. And then I realized I did five spots in one night. And didn't even have to, like, pretty much leave an area. That's nuts, man. And you go, oh, I had three good ones. Two sucked. And I said that. And I went, three were good, too. Holy shit, I did five spots. I did four at a club and one at a bar show. And it was, like, all within the same area. I think that makes the type of stand-up in New York different. Yeah, you guys perform your asses off. And I will say that. Yeah. I think that's something that New York comics don't like to admit. But we're starting to come around on, too. It's like, man, LA comics, you guys stay in the bit. You perform it. You actually are in the bit. We are so concerned with laughs per minute and punchlines and shit that we're just like, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah. All right. Bah, bah, bah, bah. And it's like the next one. It's also so crowd-worky here. It's kind of, oh, my God, it's insane. There's some shows up and down where- Oh, no, this is like when you don't know you got fat. And then you see a picture and you go, oh, fuck. Oh, fuck, I'm so fat now. It is, though. It's the kind of thing where there's certain audiences where if you don't talk to them, they're just not going to laugh. I hate that. I fucking hate it the most. I hate it. I hate it so much. Oh, no. It, like, hurts me. This feels like a doctor diagnosis. A doctor diagnosis where they go, we found something in your blood. And you go, was it crowd work? And they go, lethal amounts. You have an extremely high amount of crowd work. You have a lot of, have you been doing a lot of how did you two meets? Have you been doing that? It does- I've been doing a lot of, what's that necklace? Oh, that's a nice necklace. What sucks is following crowd work and it's your friend and you can't get off stage and go, you fucked me. You fucked me on that. Yeah, because it's so live. It's so good. It's so, like, engaging. Well, people like it now. Everything is social media's engagement. Yeah. Yeah. I don't even think about that shit. I don't think the whole, like, people complain about, like, oh, you have to do crowd work for clips. It's like, I don't give a fuck about that shit. That's, like, a different thing. You're living in, that's your world. I don't know. That's, like, for me, I don't care about that, but. Can I tell you someone that's confronted other comics about crowd work clips? Who? You? Yeah. It doesn't go well. What do you mean, like, confronted? Like, saying, like, you're kind of, like, full of shit? Sort of, like, you're just. No, stop. What are you doing? You're, like, you're slopping up the world. Yeah. You're, like, making it where everyone thinks stand up. And this was, like, a person I've known for a very long time, and it did not go well. Really? So I will not do it again. I also think that. But I was, like, yo, and I tried to joke around about it. I was, like, yeah, it's, like, you had a crowd work clips, and they were, like, why would you say that? And I was, like, well, it's true. And then it was a couple months of. But you see what people say about it, though. The comments on them are. They know the rules. Listeners know the rules. You see me live. You can ask who it was, and I'll tell you. I won't say on the podcast. I bet I know. I bet you can guess afterwards. I don't know. Either way, the people don't like it anymore. There's a lot of comments that they're saying, like, I came to see. I don't came to see you talk to a guy for one guy for 10 minutes. Because that's not. It's so. I'll tell you what makes me fucking furious. It's truly, like, Pavlovian makes me angry. He's when I'm at a when I'm at a show and someone's doing crowd work and they do the thing because I've watched Big Jay do, like, some of the greatest crowd work I've ever seen in my life. Like, truly a performance. He can do it. He has that. He has that energy. He could have been an interrogator. Oh, my God. Could have been a CIA interrogator. He has that thing that, you know, I have a good friend who's even bigger than him. It's like a really big guy. Sure. Well, Jay Skinny. Now you were there at the bonfire yesterday. You saw. Yeah, but he's still like he has the presence of a guy who if he sits down. If he sits down to talk to you at a table, you're going to be like, yeah, I stole it. I stole the. Yeah. It's just. Let's get down to business. And you're like, yes, sir. No, sir. Yes, sir. Like he carries himself. He's not hurried. Sure. There's certain people who are have a deep voice. They're like substantial physically. Sure. And if you're unhurried, there's like a confidence in that or like someone like me. Yeah. And I'm so desperate for approval. Well, here's the thing. And then also. If you're not mad, you can leave at any time. Right. You're right. People that can just sit in it and go like we don't have to make. anything happen we can just he's great at it but so i love i like crowd work when it's done well but the thing that really makes me mad is when i hear someone ask somebody something and whatever the person says the the comic just repeats in a in a silly voice all right where they go where do you work and they go i work at a financial firm they go oh this guy went oh we're gonna it's like i want to shoot you yeah i want if this was the old west i would draw on you right now i would be like because it's like a trick people will always laugh no matter what it's like a parlor trick or something fans of comedy that are listening to this right now do you johnny pumperton and i a favor go see movies and don't go to comedy shows no go to comedy shows you son of a bitch you cut me off don't go see mermaid don't go see mermaid absolutely go see mermaid johnny's an unbelievable you can also see me do stand-up too you're hilarious here's what i don't like about you is that you're good at everything no i'm not as someone i had to like kind of learn how to act to get through billions yeah you can act your dick off but you're also a great show yeah but my stand-up is not like i say this i'm not i mean no i'm not proud or ashamed of it i've done probably half or less the amount of stand-up that someone who's been doing it as long as me sure has done you like i just don't have that many reps but what i like about admitting that honesty is that you go you're you're being honest in a way that i think people uh in your position don't have to be where you go i don't have as many reps so come see me do stand-up i'm still kind of figuring it's this out versus like and i hate to say this a lot of la people they'll go like i've been doing comedy for 30 years but you find out they haven't been on stage in 10 years yeah there's definitely a ton of bullshit like that that's definitely from the comedy boom yes it is oh my god some of that stuff i'm just like fucking get this over with it's good it's dying it is dying it is dying i do think that like legitimate i don't you know i'm putting in quotes but like legitimate stand-up the kind of thing where people aren't doing that thing where they're saying like i don't describe it the thing where you say something sort of like that crowd work bit you're talking about when you say like many minutes oh yeah we're just going up there you're doing stuff where there's no takeaway yeah there's no takeaway at all it's just reactionary laughing yeah that's breaking the uncomfortable uncomfortable silence it's not actually funny yeah it's just this weird uh human response they're generating well the funnel is and what i was going to say before that is if you are at a show and someone does that crowd work thing call them out on it please i'm sending my own little soldiers into the field yeah call them out on that this is how i this is how this is my ted kaczynski these are my little pipe bombs i'm sending your pipe bombs it goes don't say that in that tone again call that out on crowd work would be fantastic i mean i think those people are just they're gonna go away well that's what it is sustainable it's the pipeline of uh what used to what used to feed into like djs in like the 2010s oh my god because i was a dj for a long time and i wouldn't i wouldn't tell people i'm a dj because i was so embarrassed of it i would say oh you're a dj right you spin i'm like i i play records sometimes yeah that's that's that's because i just a humble way of doing embarrassing but like oh my god being a dj is but it's gone now everyone used to be a dj now no one's a dj before that everyone was an mtv vj yeah like everyone wanted to be on mtv like jesse yeah but guess what now if jesse came along he'd go i'm doing stand-up oh my god crazy i got an hour and you're like no you're not though you're so i think this will stand up it'll pass by people will go to a and use that for clicks and views and fucking money and we just have to remember that we just have to be like it's it's almost over guys true fans of comedy we're almost through it cream always rises yes true true heads always know well i knew it got too big where a couple years ago there was a comic that was like what am i just gonna like keep doing this work comedy clubs until i'm dead and you're like you'd be lucky you'd be lucky it always makes me think of the scene of office space where he's like what do you guys want to work at in a the rest of your lives and samir goes that kind of security would be nice but you're like that's how i feel if i can if i knew i could sell out the funny bone for the rest of my fucking life like give me that give me that all fucking day i feel differently about that really yeah i don't know something about certain um road stuff where i just like excuse me i ate oatmeal um i'm a big oatmeal guy now it's saving my life but you wouldn't want to do that you wouldn't want to go work comedy clubs it's just the traveling and that's the road that's what stand-up is yeah and i don't love that go do your act you gotta go you gotta go work the act yeah that's what i'm saying i'm actors will say i'm not an actor and comedians will say i'm not a comedian yeah because of what i just said it's like this thing where oh i get that you're in like a weird world where you know like i don't want to do that i don't well because for a long time i didn't like doing the road because i didn't have fans and so when you're doing sucks when you're in like fucking columbus ohio at the funny bone and you look like you're like a 16 year old girl like me yeah people um are they're not respectful to you but don't you feel like you're at a point in your career now where you could go on the road and people will come see you yeah now i am but i still have this like like i'm doing i'm doing honolulu on may 28th at the blue note blue note yeah i've heard that great shows about i mean who cares it could be the worst show ever i'm a fucking hawaii man i don't care you can throw a chair at me i wonder if hawaiians get mad at that where they go can you bring it can you fucking bring it i'm gonna bring it because every single person i know i have the same reaction i go i don't know i'm doing a show in hawaii who gives a shit i'm gonna be in sandals and the people of hawaii are like it'd be nice if you really tried it'd be nice if you actually showed up and fucking tried to have a good show why do the people of madison wisconsin get a tight show they really get it too yeah but then hawaii i'm also doing madison in july 9th through the 11th at go to comedy on state yeah that place man holy shit club in the country it's nuts there it's very good but i understand what you're saying you're kind of in this middle ground where actors are like you're not going to fuck you're not doing shakespeare in the park you're not doing all this stuff and then comics are going you're not at a fucking chuckle hut in oklahoma city for two dollars a weekend i've done some of that and i've i've felt the burn i felt the burn years ago but now i can like i have fans coming which is great so i really appreciate i really appreciate the people being on board with what i'm doing because before you know i would do like weird stuff and if you're doing weird stuff to people who are wasted and got comp tickets they just don't give a fuck they will talk over you trying to do personal material oh my god drunk table doesn't care oh god drunk table's like what are you saying you're like i was talking about how my uncle was yeah and they're like i don't even know it's her birthday but that shit is that shit is so incredibly terrible there's no reason to keep i think if that keeps happening then i don't know that's not good that's not a life i would argue what my argument against that would be when you do comedy long enough people know you now like there's not there still will be groups of rediscovery or people that don't know you but it's i've always last night at the cellar there was this audience that ravello and i were texting about because because he went on before me and then he left and later in the night he's like did you like that crowd i was like absolutely not they were like sensitive and dumb which is like the worst ultimate worst combination worst combination but the saving grace was they were a couple people that i could tell the way they were laughing that they knew me all right and so i just performed to them and it saved my time on the show because i went like there was a guy like by the uh half-baked poster that kept laughing and i was like this guy gets he's laughing at all the right stuff right so i'm just i'm not doing the the four girls that are on a girl trip going no when you say something they don't like you just go i'm going over you i'm talking to them fuck that but i understand what you're saying when the audience is all those people yeah shit sucks but i think you're at a point now where there will be people in the room where you just go you're my friend i'm gonna talk to you it's like being at a party where you only know two people you just go i fucking know these two people i'll talk to these people sometimes it's like you know i feel like when you have people who are you have to look at them and it's so much it's take so much energy that's it's exhausting and a lot of times i'm like i just don't feel i completely get that the money is not worth that if you can make it other elsewhere it becomes not worth it i wish more people had that attitude i wish more people had that attitude and i think if more people had that attitude i think comedy wouldn't be as polluted with people that are just doing it to make money you mean hacks yes yeah they're fucking they're hacks yes that's what pandering is yes they're doing it to but so much of comedy is built around pandering i know and it's you're talking to a guy that pandered probably the first 30 years of his life i mean i've done it recently yeah well you know when you have a pander feeling yeah when you feel that pander you go and you're in your soul you go terrible but i think there's people that go shut up soul and then they just keep going until that they don't make that noise because they don't give a fuck because they're so i mean i think the biggest trick that comedy industry ever did was convince comedians that it was art it's not it's not at all it's a it's a service it's a trade it's it can be our truck stop blow we are a truck stop blow job like it can be though it can be artful if done right in the right situation yeah right like what richard prior did with some like his His first special, what Chappelle did with Killing Him Softly, there's moments like what Maria Bamford does. There's art there. You go, that is artistic. But there's a lot of times where- But we're not artists. When you're doing multiple shows in a place that you don't want to be with people you don't want to know, that is not art. You are babysitting. It's a trade. And all these club owners who are, let's face it, these guys are crime tangential. That's how it started. That's how stand-up started. If you read any history book, the reason they're called stand-up comedians isn't because they stood up on stage. I mean, you should read that book. I have it here. The History of Comedy. It's fucking, this one. It's phenomenal by Cliff Nessero. This one right here. It's called, you should read this if you're a fan of comedy. It's called The Comedians. Drunks, Thieves, Scoundrels, and the History of American Comedy. He put it out in- I think it's in the front, right? Yeah. Where is it? It's like, but this is like the book on comedy history. It's a book on comedy history. Didn't, I was told- 2015 by Cliff Nesseroff, who is, I'm probably fucking up his name. That's a crazy name. Cliff, K-L-I-P-H. Yeah, he's a Canadian comedian. But he does the best job I've ever read of where stand-up comedy came from. It's vaudeville beginning and all that shit. But it was for the mob. The mob would have these supper clubs and it would have these things and they'd have bands and they'd need someone to be funny and tell jokes. And it's cheaper to pay. It's cheaper to pay one guy than it is to pay five guys in a band. And also we're pandering fucking hookers. So they all knew this guy's not going to get out of line. And so the reason they'd say that is like, oh, he won't narc on you. He's a stand-up guy. So there's like a stand-up comedian. Yeah, that's where it all comes from. That's crazy. They talk about it in this book. Oh, it's so fucked. You would work for, quote unquote, the outfit. You would work for the mob. And they'd be like, yeah, that's what all the, you were like a lot of the times the first like circuits- Old Tony, you gotta work for old Tony, huh? Dude, there's a guy in there that thought he was too big for the mob and they cut his fucking tongue out. And he survived and he never learned it. They cut his throat open and fucking put his, it's crazy. It's going to be me. It's because you're saying, talking to out. Yeah, ask where they're from. You don't want to do the Oklahoma funny bum? Okay. But it's too big. Yeah, you're too big. Maybe you don't walk around too good no more. Yeah, why don't you chew on this gum? Yeah. It really is a fucking awesome book about the history of comedy though. And it's like when you read it, you go, we're too comfortable right now. They talk about the vaudeville acts. They would be in these beautiful theaters, these like pristine, beautiful theaters. And backstage, it would just be like three feet of plywood and rats and shit. And they'd be like, you got three shows tonight? And then they would have like the Marx Brothers in this talk. There's like old, old interviews where they talk about sleeping in train stations so that they can make the next gig. And they're making like $3 a gig or some shit like that. That's never going to change though because people always, actors, comedians, Anyone who's doing something that they want to do will always get paid less because they know that you want to do it. Yes. And so you'll, you'll do, you'll suffer something like, if you're like a new actor on a show or something, they're like, oh, we don't have to pay you anything. Anything. Minimum. We can pay. Thank God there's a union. Yeah. If it's a union, they go, you got to do SAG minimum. Yeah. And even that you go, it's pretty offensively low. There's so many things where looking back, I'm like, oh, they got a fucking deal on me, baby. They got such a deal. And you start realizing that with comedy, you know, when you don't sell tickets and you just go, it's, I'm so grateful to be here. Then you start selling tickets. You go, you fucking crook. Oh my God. The money that they make, they don't have to sell tickets at all. And they're still making handover fist off and shit. It's crazy. Like the fact there's, imagine going to any sort of art event and there being a minimum drinks you have to buy. That was one of the jokes I made in my HBO special. I was like, you don't, there's no two drink minimum at the ballet. Yeah. Like we're not artists. We're just fucking mall clowns. Yeah. But sometimes, you know, sometimes it is kind of artful though. I feel like you sneak it in. I feel like there, it's like in the way that like, um, it's like in the way that some, sometimes bad shit can be beautiful. Yeah. Like a fire can be beautiful. Like you're watching a building burn and you go, that's beautiful. I'm an arsonist that needs to come. Who did this? I did it. So, uh, make sure you watch the movie mermaid, watch it. Everything. Uh, Johnny does. He's fucking hilarious. I don't care that you're, you know, you're like actors hate me. Comics hate me. I've always thought you, we didn't, uh, Montreal together in 2011. Is that how we know each other? I did unwrapped and you did regular new faces. That was when's the last time I saw you in person, uh, before the pandemic. Yeah. A long time. I want to say like 2019 when I was in LA, I think it was the last time I saw you physically. That's crazy. But I've known you a while and I've always been fucking blown away by your talent. So I think your, uh, I think your special is probably one of my favorite specials. I think son of Gary is one of the best specials made in the last 20 years. Thanks man. It's so great. So great. I really appreciate that. I fucking really worked hard and it's awesome when people that I like are like, I like the shit you made. You go, thanks dude. That's cause I just shot mine. I was like, this is the, one of the examples I use for how it should look. I mean, I got a little, I got real lucky on that cause Chris store directed it right before he created the bear. And so it was like a thing where I was like, well, I think it was just luck that the special doesn't live on that. It's, you know, there was just a really cool and you know, uh, when's your, yours is coming out. Oh, we're still editing it right now. All right. Probably, you know, maybe this summer, maybe fall. Come back. Come back. I'll be back. I'll come back. Come back. Come back. And we'll play fucking, we'll play far cry. Well, I'm far cry. We'll play fallout. Play far cry. Far cry fucking rules. We'll just sit around and do drugs and play fallout for a thousand hours in a tunnel. Who's got Adderall. Let's fucking do it. Do you have any? Yeah, I can get you some. Yeah. Thank you.