Freddy and the Deep State of Soccer | The Beautiful Pod

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See paypal.com slash protection terms. Welcome to the beautiful pod. Before we begin this week's episode, I wanted to unveil a special investigative project I've been working on for the last couple of days. And who better than Pablo Torre, a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist, to present my evidence to? So before we begin with our wrap up the games, funny hijinks and stories from the World Cup, please enjoy me showing Pablo how easy it is to do whatever the fuck, tattletale or whatever. Just got a text. Okay, bye. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist, Pablo Torre. Can I see you, Pablo? I just, you look great. Thanks. My dad wants you to come to the wedding. I told you that, right? I registered. I filled out the form. So Pablo, we got into a little tiff once when I told you that, if I wanted to, I could do what you do professionally incredibly easily. And in the last three days, I proved that to be true. How familiar are you with Freddy from Germany? I started following Freddy in the last week. There were all these headlines about him. And that is the extent of my knowledge. Besides like Waffle House photos that he took. You would say, would you say that you have Freddy fever? Much like the rest of America. I clicked follow because I will admit that it was kind of like that YouTube video of those two kids listening to Phil Collins for the first time. I was like, oh, someone experiencing true American and greatness through the eyes of, you know, of, of, of, of, of an infant, like shitty food. And so, yeah, definitely they don't have Taco Bell in Germany. What a terrible place. Okay. So for those of you who don't know, I broke this story in our last episode. I actually, I was the first to report on Freddy and the establishment media hasn't kind of acknowledged that. But let's just look, who cares? But people are comparing him to Alexis de Tocqueville, right? And who is that, Pablo? I believe he wrote Democracy in America. He was sort of a foreigner telling Americans about our own country. Three through eyes that opened our own. Yeah, kind of, kind of coming over here, judging our asses. Kind of like a, kind of like that guy on The Daily Show that, that isn't there anymore. What's his name? You'll have to be more specific. You know, Trevor Noah coming over here. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, anyway, as you know, Freddy has, has captured our hearts with incredible posts like this. This is, we can see Freddy's at a Taco Bell. It's a picture. One of the Freddy motifs is he does it from the parking lot. A bleak American. Fast food parking lot. And then he takes the picture of the disgusting food. And guys, I, I mean, this is revolutionized social media. Slide. The Waffle House one. Are you familiar with this one, Pablo? No, but this is the one that I, that I chose to follow him on the back of. Yes. You thought, you gave him a follow. A Pulitzer Prize winning journalist. Pablo, you gave him a follow off of, just had our first Waffle House experience at 1 a.m. Great food, great prices, and friendly staff. 10:10, we'll be coming back. And then what is that emoji? This is some sort of sexual, like he's, he's, it's the yum yum, yum yum face. This is a gentleman that is about with his nose whistling, looking at a woman in the strip club face. And as you can see there, you have the picture of a Waffle House, kind of a bleak kind of, you know, like whatever vice style that is kind of a vice. It's very vice magazine style. And then, and then just an incredible picture. Of a plate full of shit. Okay. Human feces. Okay. So just to catch you up, the audience, for those of you who have been living under a rock, uh, you know, prominent Americans, dignitaries began to take notice slide. A hundred Biden, for instance, he said, I'm jealous, Freddie, nothing better than an American road trip. So cool. Okay. Slide. Transportation secretary and former real world Boston cast member. Uh, w what's his face? Uh, Sean Duffy took notice and, uh, boosted Freddie. Uh, he caught the Freddie fever, if you will. And that, which is shocking because I would imagine he has his hands full cleaning up the mess left behind by Pete Buttigieg, of course. But he said, he said, meet Freddie. He's a German soccer fan in the U S for the world cup. And he's experiencing the beauty of America. Well, incredible stuff. So, so just our leaders are dignitaries. Our celebrities are Pulitzer prize winners. We are enamored by him. And I have to admit I was for some time, but probably here's a, here's a moment for me to take accountability. Like I saw Freddie's followers going up and I began to feel jealous. Okay. Cause as you know, I'm, I'm endeavoring on, uh, this experience of making the beautiful pod here for the, for the ringer network network and Spotify, um, and, uh, the family of company, uh, fam, uh, fam. Uh, family, a family, what did they say? Family of, of, of networks, the family Simmons family of networks, I believe is what you now currently are employed by. I am, I've taken a big sponsorship deal with Raytheon and Lockheed Martin. Okay. And, uh, you know, I'm endeavoring to create, and quite frankly, I'm busting my ass, creating viral soccer content surrounding the world cup. And I saw this guy just taking pictures of shitty food, doing bid, bigger numbers. Uh, and. And, and it, and it hurt, you know, I've written some incredible jokes about Harry Kane's inability to read or that, that there's a guy named Martin experience on the Haitian team. That's hilarious. Okay. Anyway, you'll make that tighter. Make it as, can you put some laughs in there? Okay. Anyway, leave that in. So the more, but here's the thing, the more I looked at slide, the more I looked into it, uh, it became clear that there's more to Freddie. And, and I'm, I'm not. I'm not doing this out of seething jealousy. I'm doing this because I've there. It became odd to me. I noticed a couple of inconsistencies. So Pablo, how would you describe his profile picture? Uh, the flag in his display name and then his, his bio. Right. Why don't you read that out? The account that has been blowing Adam out of the water in terms of world cup content creators has an avatar. He had me in the first half. Okay. Continue. A very, a very, uh, you know, uh, skin faded Cristiano Ronaldo looking off to the side, sort of like, uh, group stage merchant himself, Penaldo continue. Yeah. Uh, he's looking sort of like contemplating, uh, the Twitter background photo, which seems to be, um, a goal that is surrounded by a crowd of people. Like it's inside of some sort of like arena, which is now that I'm looking closer at it, uh, is, is, uh, I don't really care about that part. I don't know what that is. Um, and then, uh, at his bio is at FC mid Tilly. And what is the display name though? What is it? Oh, his, his, his display name is Freddie followed by the, uh, German flag emoji. The new German flag after world war two, the, after world war two German flag, you should clarify. Okay. Continue. Yeah. Post post world war two, German flag emoji. Okay. Freddie L a seven is his, is his handle. And then his bio is bio periods. The tag one, uh, FC mid Tilly team, which maybe sounds Northern European. In some sense, there are shit side in, in, uh, uh, Holland, Denmark, Denmark, some crap team continue. Okay. And then it's the, uh, I think that's the Saudi Arabian team that Ronaldo, the Twitter bio photo himself played on Al Nasser FC. And then it's, uh, four star emojis and then, uh, no Instagram and Tik TOK with an X emoji. So, okay. So the, the connection between Ronaldo and Al Nasser is, is. Evident he plays for Al Nasser. Um, but what, why would a German guy, uh, support FT mid legend and, and be. on that, you'd be shocked to find out that Ronaldo has never once played for the German national team despite his certain disposition. Okay? But, okay, maybe, Pablo, let me be Christian for a second. Maybe he likes his, maybe he, Freddie is a guy who likes his favorite foods, much like he likes his footballers, which is past their expiration date. So it's plausible, okay? Next thing that struck me as odd was when I realized that he never posts up any pictures of his own face. Have you seen them? I was looking for that, actually. I see that he's based in Germany as his G.O. tag, but I have not seen any pictures of his face. Admittedly, no. Well, perhaps he's simply just hideous or an acid or burn victim, or perhaps he looks somewhat like Angel Di Maria, who used to play for Argentina. Or perhaps it is Angel Di Maria. We don't know. So I'm still open-minded there. Is that the guy who tore his butt? Did Di Maria tear his butt in the World Cup final in Brazil? Back shots? No, no, no, no, no. Okay, maybe it was someone else. No, no, no. Gary Lineker pooped his pants. Maybe you're thinking of that in 1990. Anyway, okay. Next. Why would a sitting cabinet member, someone as well-regarded and respected as Sean Duffy from the real world Boston, boost a European soccer fan's post? I mean, doesn't that strike you as odd, Pablo? It was very reproduced when I hadn't seen the tweet. There's like bullet points and a whole sort of case for Freddie that it was laid out. Pablo, you and I are both liberals, correct? I believe I characterize both of us as left of center, correct, Adam? Ardent, dyed-in-the-wool Democrats, right? But we all know that soccer is for Democrats, and things like MMA are for heterosexuals. So why would he be. Come on. Okay, that's another thing that struck me as odd, but perhaps they're trying to. I don't know. It's not going well or something. We can cut around that. I'll give you edit notes, guys, about that. Something. Here's what didn't add up. Okay. I started going deeper, right? And Pablo, you haven't taken any of my calls, but people in my family, my loved ones, people that represent me at some of the most powerful talent agencies in the country, including my manager, Rabbi Menachem Schneerson, have told me to stop looking. Okay? And I'm worried, honestly, that I have become aware of the fact that the powers of B.E. have been tipped off. I found that there are bugs and surveillance devices in my house. A popular rumor even surfaced, like, online. I don't know if you saw that I pooped my pants on an episode of Comptown. I was going to say, I didn't want to bring that up. You were talking about people who pooped themselves. Character assassination. They've threatened my loved ones, specifically my father and Bill Simmons, but two of the. two of my. my two. your two dads. Okay? But every lead went dry until I found this, Pablo. Okay? Something that wasn't hidden. Something that was out in front of us this entire time. Okay? And Pablo, could you please read the tweet that is on your screen right now? Yeah. Uh, from at FreddyLA7, congratulations at real Donald Frump, period. I can't wait to see Hillary Clinton go to jail! Exclamation point, exclamation point, November 9th, 2016. Which is confusing, isn't it? That is confusing. Why would a German, who's prime minister at the time was Angela Merkel, one of my personal heroes, support someone that has been accused of fascism and racism? Okay? Like, the real. Okay, continue. Cut the laugh. Okay, then I thought to myself, um, uh. One retweet on that, by the way, with two likes. He didn't do numbers. Maybe, okay, maybe he's got fricked up political opinions. Let's, let's be Christian still, okay? Four years, four years, uh, sorry, four years prior, I found a tweet of Freddy's. I'd like to show you this tweet. Oh, no. Okay, tell me what this tweet says. At FreddyLA7 writes, quote, Sissy Graydon Carter of failing Vanity Fair magazine and owner of bad food restaurants has a problem, dash. His VF Oscar party is no longer, quote, hot, end quote, March 2nd, 2014. Posted at 11.06, slide. At 11.07, Donald Trump tweeted this. Sissy Graydon Carter of failing Vanity Fair magazine and owner of bad food restaurants has a problem, dash. Okay, but Pablo, we as journalists both know perhaps this is parallel logic, okay? Uh, you know, perhaps this is an anomaly, you know? An enigma, wrapped in a mystery, wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in a tweet, if you will. Yes. I just spit that top of the dome. Uh, let me refer you to, uh, the next slide then. Oh, can you read this aloud to me? Freddy. Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog and will do it again, dash, dash, just watch, period. He can do much better, exclamation point. October 17th, 2012. Pay attention to the time. Pay attention to the time, 1147 a.m. Okay, next slide. Same exact time. Yeah, 1147 a.m. October 17th, 2012. Robert Pattinson. This is from at real Donald Trump. I have never, listen, I am no Pablo, sorry to cut you off. I have, I have like a, I have like a queasy feeling in my stomach now that I see this, honestly. I have no, listen, listen, Pablo, I, I'm no fan of our president. I've heard him called multiple names, but a plagiarist I, I have never heard him called that before. And why would Donald Trump be copying this random German guy's tweets? May I refer you to his next tweet, which I'm not really sure what it's about, but can you please read this to me? Yeah, um, he didn't, this is at Freddie LA 7, he didn't like the organization or playing for Billy Donovan. His roster wasn't that good. It was just him and Russ. I don't even know what that means, but it's shocking. August 7th, 2017. That appears to be about the Oklahoma City Thunder. Uh, why would he tweet that? If I had to connect some dots. Slide. At 2.47am. Slide. Uh, at Freddie LA 7, my favorite restaurant, exclamation point, 7-11 in Langley, Virginia. Okay. Where, where, first of all, restaurant. Okay, that's ridiculous. That is more of a, that is a, what, that's insane. Second of all, what is he doing in Langley, Virginia? On May 15th, 2026. Okay, slide. Okay. Okay, look, okay. Pay close attention to the date on this. This appears to be, it's, it's, what does it say? May 16th, 2026, um, is what it is stamped at, 312 PM, and at dinner, you want me to read the tweet and describe the tweet? Yeah, and it's a photograph. It's a photograph of, uh, Jeffrey Epstein on a purple, uh, couch, eating, uh, at a restaurant, and he is between, on the left, Alan Dershowitz, I believe, and on the right, uh, Larry Summers, former president of Harvard University, and secretary of the treasury under Bill Clinton. How was he at dinner with Jeffrey Epstein in May of this year, when we all know that Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide? That was a question. Um, I was hoping for a, another slide to, to help solve, okay, great. So finally, I saw this. Stop by work to pick up my check. Okay, and that is May 16th, 2026, as well. Um, this building, I cross referenced it. Guess where this building is. I'm gonna guess this is, uh, Langley, Virginia. Yes, and guess what the company is. I'm guessing it is, uh, the company. It is, it is, it is the FBI, Incorporated. It is the CIA. No. Oh, the CIA. Come on. Sorry. Everyone knows it's Quantico, you idiot. Sorry. Scratch that and pick it back up. No, no, no. Don't leave that in. That is the CIA. What the hell? Thank you. Yes, it is an aerial shot of the CIA headquarters. Thanks for editing that for my back. I appreciate it. At Langley, Virginia. After he picked up his check, he went up in a helicopter or some sort of dirigible or perhaps a hot air balloon and took a picture of the building. Pablo, I don't know what any of this means, but I think that there is more to this story, and I just want to, I just want to get your advice. As an investigative journalist, like, you know, am I in too deep? One thing I will say is I don't have much time for it because my grandmother, uh, her car exploded the other day, and my family is sitting shiva. Well, um, in honor of your, uh, grandmother, I should point out, using every ounce of my personal integrity, she wasn't a good person. She was not a good person. You don't have to. Okay, continue. Well, nonetheless, um, uh, I'm noticing that the, uh, German flag emoji after Freddy's name in his handle has become an American flag emoji, and I don't know if I'm supposed to be noticing that, but I am noticing that there is. Pablo, I didn't even notice that. Pablo, you noticed something I didn't notice. Well, that's my job. Pablo Torre, thank you for joining me. Thank you for your guidance. Thank you for your leadership. Thank you for everything you do in America today. finally um Is there anything you'd like to say to Bill Belich? Yeah, it was Javier Mascherano who tore his anus. Sorry for disparaging. I don't know if you're going to keep that part, but I got it wrong. It was Mascherano and not DiMaria. Yeah, in the World Cup, he tore his butt. Did he have a third-party agent that got him to the doctor? I like to think so. It's just a joke. It's a joke for no one. I like to think so. Just producer Sam. So I'll see you at the wedding? Yeah, I'll RSVP. Sunscreen. Snacks. A stapler? Shop, pay, manage your account, and earn rewards all in one place. Low energy? Unfocused? Foggy? You might be dehydrated. Gatorade Zero powders have been scientifically designed to help improve hydration balance in the body. With a clinically proven electrolyte blend and no artificial colors or flavors. Great tasting hydration, no matter where you're going. Shop now online or at retailers nationwide. Gatorade. Hydrates better than water. Is it in you? Symptoms noted are signs of mild to moderate dehydration. Consult a healthcare professional if symptoms persist. Chronic migraine is 15 or more headaches. Headache days a month, each lasting four hours or more. Botox, onabotulinum toxin A, prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraine before they start. It's not for those with 14 or fewer headache days a month. It prevents on average eight to nine headache days a month versus six to seven for placebo. Prescription Botox is injected by your doctor. Effects of Botox may spread hours to weeks after injection causing serious symptoms. Alert your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems, or muscle weakness can be signs of a life-threatening condition. Patients with these conditions before injection. are at highest risk. Side effects may include allergic reactions, neck and injection site pain, fatigue, and headache. Allergic reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms, and dizziness. Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection. Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions, including ALS, Lou Gehrig's disease, myasthenia gravis, or Lambert-Eaton syndrome, and medications, including botulinum toxins, as these may increase the risk of serious side effects. Why wait? Ask your doctor, visit BotoxChronicMigraine.com, or call 1-800-44-BOTOX to learn more. Hello and welcome. We're back. Chris, how are you doing? What's up, man? How are you? Are you tired, fatigued? Too many games? I'm pretty invigorated. I watched four matches entirely on Sunday. I watched like two yesterday. I'm bought in. I'm bought in, yeah. I'm in. I can't believe it. It's every time. We try to act mature. We try to be hipsters about the American national team. You know what it's like? It's like a. It's like a wife that's like, he's changed. She's not going to drink anymore, and then we're like, and then we get burned again. We see one course like that. Don't cut all that. Okay. I really have really been enjoying the games. How many stinkers and clunkers have we had? It's been a minority of clunkers. No, and it's also like even the draws are exciting. Even Cape Verde brings down a giant with a draw, so it's been awesome. Yeah. Switzerland, Qatar, a little bit like you just have on the background. Yeah. They're walking it. Fuck. Fuck them. Fuck them. Bring back fucking Shaqiri, or else I don't watch. Okay. Let's go through it. We're going to go do a Chris Bermansop lightning round of the games. We'll get stuck in on the ones we like. I think we can just feel it out. If you're like, Adam, who the fuck cares about Scotland, Haiti? I'm going to be like, well, actually, it was the second democratic revolution in modern history. Chris. Okay. Let's get started. The opener, Mexico, South Africa, 2-0. The agenda against the mighty Bafana Bafana. They've clearly, El Tri, or as I like to call them, El Tri, to win a knockout game for once. That's kind of a Chris Berman. Yeah. That's a nice one. El Tri to win a knockout. Yeah. It's kind of a, kind of a, more like an office space. Like Lund, Lunder. What's in it? Lund Guard. Yeah. Like Samir Naga. We're going to work here anymore. Yeah. Okay. El Tri, the, literally cheated their way to win in a 2-0 in the opener. At Estadio, Mexico City. This is agenda because I picked Mexico and I was also fired up on Mexico. And now Bafana Bafana beats in your heart and you're, you're walking away from this match. 19 man spectacular. It reminded me a bit of 06. Do you remember the Battle of Nuremberg? The four red card thriller. Yeah. Four reds, 16 yellows, Portugal versus Netherlands. Just criminals. Mark Van Bommel kicking people's heads off of their bodies. One, that's when men were men. That was proper football. Now this woke, this woke Pep Guardiola era that we live in. No, clearly an anti-South African bias. These are the, you know, we all saw it right in front of ours. No, Mexico. Here's my take. In reality, Mexico is still bad. I'm going to, I'm going to still rock with that. They had trouble with nine men. I mean, like if you're having trouble with nine men. Sometimes when people go down in nine, it's like you're playing against a fortress. It's really impossible to penetrate. Especially when they're the mighty Bafana Bafana. That's right. I mean, I would rather take nine Bafana Bafanas against every other player in the World Cup. I think that they could park the bus. No, but in reality, I just think it was a kind of a crap one. Yeah. Opening matches are kind of tough anyway. Yeah. Well, unless Shabalala, unless Shabalala scores a goal for Africa. This was, of course, a rematch of the opener from the South Africa World Cup. Yeah. And we had that amazing moment. Not too interesting. I don't think we learned much about Mexico. You know what? The way I felt was until the South Korea-Chekia match, no one knew how to pass four passes in a row. And then I saw South Korea actually know how to play sports. And then I was like, OK, that's the first proper side I've seen. It's also after four passes, they made them take hydration breaks. Yes. Yes. How are you feeling about this hydration break? I'm saying more. No. See, I've seen people start to zag. And try to make the case for hydration breaks because they're like, sports evolve. We have to continue to like, you know, add little wrinkles. But like, this is just making these matches like they're breaking down the actual flow of the game, which is like completely against like the whole point of the way football is constructed. Yes, exactly. You could be like literally hanging on for dear life. And in Dallas Stadium in Dallas, Texas. And you know how they've removed all the branding, of course. Yes. Yes. Yes. Which I love because I hate brands. The Los Angeles field. Yeah. Yeah. New York, New Jersey. I say New Jersey, in fact. Yeah. That is not that that piece of shit is not New York. I'll say that. No. No. But yeah, if they're in the indoor match, you don't need to take a fucking commercial break. I mean, that's pretty obvious. Virgil actually spouted off against it. And then people have been like, it's you're saying it's cool now that to not do it. Or to say that it's good. I've seen like I saw lawless basic. Alexi Lawless came out in favor of hydration breaks and that it was good for the advertising partners and for the players welfare. But I'm just like, I understand you put a pitch for the advertiser. It's good for our partners. But I get when you like change baseball by adding a pitch clock because it makes the game quicker and more entertaining. This makes the game less entertaining and seemingly longer. Well, for the wives, they want to see the commercials, right? It's like a Super Bowl. Yeah. Has lawless is the Tom Myers of punditry. I mean, he's never switched one. It's good for the commercials for our ad partners. Like there are friends. Yeah. It's good for. Okay. It's good for whatever. So, yeah. First, Mexico, South Africa. Boring. South Korea. Czech Republic to one. That's a proper side. But I am putting I am putting son on finish. Naldo watch. He missed a couple of sitters there. And I think. I think I'm like I think he's been hiding a little bit behind the group stage merchant himself. I think there are a lot of guys I'm putting on finish, although watch that I'm going to go through. I don't really know what happens when these guys come to MLS, but they definitely lose a step in like he just he looked like 15 steps slower than his time himself. Well, a lot of people were like getting on his ass because he is yet to score a goal in MLS, but he has like seventy five assists. So maybe he's being a nice guy. Maybe. Maybe he's lost his edge. And L.A. F.C. Next match. Canada. Bosnia. One. One. Don't care. Side. Colossus. Arsenal legend. What a clearance off the line. Incredible. I'm sure he meant to do that. Jesse Marsh made some good adjustments. I kind of like that right winger that they brought on. I don't. I forget his name. The one who scored the goal. Canada. No, no. He was just he was he was he was kind of bright on the there was a winger that they brought on. That was kind of good. Jonathan David, I think, is kind of crap. Jesse Marsh reacted to a game state. He's a good coach, but they're not. I don't think they're very good. You see Jesse get tooled up by Clint Dempsey. Did we talk about this? No. What happened? Dempsey was like because Jesse Marsh said that he used to have to beg American players to sing the anthem. And now he doesn't have to do that because Canadians are so proud of their country. And Clint Dempsey was like, I won't have him besmirch a team where I've put my body on the line. I've gotten my nose broken for the United States. I've had heart surgery you don't know where I'm from homie yeah dude it was so cool we had a guy like that like a texas like a guy that said patna he was basically yeah yeah we yeah we had paul wall on our team that was like that's what we were saying when i was talking about swagless i was like that's a we missed clint i think clint should get a roster spot honestly i just want him around the boys telling yeah i want him bullying the boys but uh that leads us to our first match that i think is worthy of discussion usa paraguay 4-1 what's it where what's your buy-in meter at right now because we went hard we went like we were sipping we had our pinkies up while we were while we were drinking tea it was afternoon oh yeah we were only caring about the three lines this was really impressive i don't know i mean i think they were bound to have a big night because of the amount of hype going around being like a host nation in la at the la stadium uh one of the most beloved stadiums in america i thought that they played really really well but i don't know if that was the toughest competition well i mean the counter argument is of course is they beat argentina brazil uruguay they were incredibly defensively uh stout during qualifying they only allowed 10 goals that was what was most i think we're talking about like how you institute a pressy system in a like a in like a just a 150 degree world cup i mean the answer is you play indoors yeah uh but was i really i really like the way they played i think they played really well i think they played really well i really liked seeing pancha system in in practice uh he kind of had tyler adams covering for a back free back three they had des des like bombing up and then they were just counter pressing it was it was just like uh like their lives depended on it paraguay they kind of i guess canceled out like a defensive uh side that had beat basically real teams and they did it by just being absolute pests and like i gotta say our boy flow the the our our having here's another thing i realized in that match having just a guy that can finish is uh in the world cup is that you're in a minor yeah i mean that's like what mexico didn't have really i mean they had canones but like it's like watching each of these teams and it's like sun shanking balls off to like the left it's like if you have somebody like balgun it's like you're gonna probably get to the knockouts on that alone did you it's so cp got hurt i like the word like now i think it was precautionary yeah cp3 himself mr tuck in your damn shirt uh yeah uh he looked like fucking neymar in the first half he had it on a string i gotta give it to him he again he's never not shown up for the saves you gotta like in all reality he's just not cool that's why we don't like him like uh and he played for fucking uh uh chelsky but uh but beyond that like uh he looked unreal i was like really impressed by like uh you know by most of the boy i mean like uh mckinney's mckinney could is kind of just like a uh kind of a pest uh really just the the press was impressive but like just uh they the ball was moving i think my main question about the united states is how does the ball move and we kind of saw how the ball moves and we kind of saw a look at you you are fucking in a you're an outlaw now you're like i believe you will win no fuck that what a shit chant i believe we will win in front of everyone else they have incredible after the fucking flower of scotland after we saw that like just do something cooler make a better song hey so make a song about make a song about like a tragedy in manchester united's past when the plane crashed that's right gut check so soccer ruse for us on friday is that a tougher match than paraguay uh in seattle yeah is that right i believe so uh no host nation bump i'm like i am actually like seeing that i really i mean it was that goal uh the kid what's his name uh uh it's like really beautiful lovely story um that that opening goal the first goal the second goal was a fucking banger oh yeah for australia my here's my question my bought in meter here's my question about the united states what does it look like when the ball is coming in the opposite direction when they beat the press when they play a proper side that knows how to pass around the press right and then it's like tim reame tyler adams is kind of like kind of like just like me first and then like what happens when the other guys start shitting their pants and then right i mean like we did see on their on the one goal that they got it kind of did not look like you could see like little little cracks in the in the armor i just really that was actually the best performance for united states soccer i think did you see this picture of poach after the game uh well i saw the picture of russell crowe the stars were out in los angeles and uh actor russell crowe from uh darren darren darren aronofsky's noah uh came on stage and snogged was caught snogging with florian balligan if you want to show the picture listen listen the stars were out the stars and stripes were out and uh i didn't know that i thought he was australian okay uh you want to go qatar switzerland don't care get shakiri yeah get him out in bolo we can put him on an awesome awesome on 11 okay that's our little category we're going to keep tracking guys who only seemingly play in the world cup yeah yeah yeah i don't know what the hell his life is but he's he's a main character in the world cup uh and then one thing that to notice in that match is the swiss tried to walk it and then that second lady got burned it was like uh they they didn't take they kind of didn't take it seriously it wasn't actually like it didn't feel swiss to me right it felt very uh it felt lazy that was one of the interesting things was that aside from kershaw like there's just been no minnows yet really like there's no been there's been nobody's like we're just happy to be here kick the shit out of us and you know we'll get down to the other matches we're talking about but qatar was like yeah we're not going to just roll over the swiss here yeah i i think that our prediction of like having uh like daytime games of the world cup be side pass side pass side pass and guys like be like oh we're going to be like oh we're going to like uh turn it on and then turn it off when we want to uh that was the one actual like kind of uh example of like what that prediction would look like um but guess what i don't care shakiri's on the team i don't care shout out to the granite shack of my heart my full heart my love albania's own double eagle okay uh brazil morocco one one let's talk about it uh i don't can kazimiruk still play finished we're putting him on finish we're not even putting him on uh naldo we're putting him we're putting him in uh uh the retirement community that olivia suppressed it's a retirement it's like he is on a viking funeral watch we got to put him we got to put him on an ice floe and start shooting arrows at him i mean that he as a player we have said that we have left it said that he's dead multiple times is a guy that has had like revivals i've never liked him but uh we have seen that before i don't i think this time it is for real uh paqueta abject uh honestly one one of my takeaways of arsenal perspective i'm sorry is that saliba is the best defender in the world like gabby not next to gabby next no i've never said it's never come on no gabrielle not next to sleep next to a real marquinhos like next to like a world-class defender uh it looks completely different um but i ego tiago i think perhaps maybe the worst they gotta play andrew maybe maybe yeah and i i don't understand why kunya they're not using kunya more uh more intelligently but let me make a counter argument to you my friend let's hear it i think it everything is going according to plan for don c how many times have we said this about an ancillary side how many times have we said they look unprepared they don't look like they have a plan is he even practicing there's no way that a guy that played at swansea last year and is 35 can score two goals in extra time in a knockout there's no way don carlo no in reality nick the point all according to plan i think how many times will this happen until we learn we never doubt the boy do you do you like don carlo's uh uh summer haircut kind of high and tight for a man of his age it was like a little bit of like a crew cut he's modern yeah yeah yeah i mean he's like i would compare him probably in terms of pure masculinity to a paul newman or perhaps you know just perhaps uh i don't know glenn eastwood i'm andrew t andrew tate the other thing is that vinnie goal was just uh was was what a hit but like it was the one thing he did well like i i think it's going to cause people to erase the fact that he did 15 things that didn't work and he did one thing that did work but like honestly in a moment of time i think kind of uh tournament and with a team that is subpar and suboptimal you kind of need like alexis sanchez used to do this uh he'd like literally just try some he tried to do something on his own like uh like 20 times and then one time it would work and he like literally win that's the only thing that counts is the one that people remember yeah right i just think it's like for usa and for brazil we're not going to be in the same place that we are today in a week like for better or for worse Like, USA could look like world beaters, Brazil could look like shit but like i think that these first matches are real everybody's learning some new rules they're having the new hydration breaks they're in new stadiums they're in new temperatures that everybody's getting a feel for the tournament first i mean time will tell i think us kind of waltzes in top of the group uh i think brazil kind of has a lot of questions to answer uh but never doubt don carlo i can see them getting it like if just not that i can see it but like i can see him winning the world cup from the third place yeah uh bid you know like he's just the kind of guy that can do shit like that and that's why he's the magic man that's why you know like uh it's god right okay uh but okay uh to morocco they're like uh they were impressive to me i i think that uh i'm we i loved the debut performance for uh bluati in the midfield um the goal scorer i he's one of the guys that i didn't know his name was his name sam yeah sybari sybari psv maybe byron this summer oh what do you oh yeah that's right i think they announced that byron was signing him right before he spent i think the day that day before he uh scored that goal uh which is so them how them is that chris is bluati gonna get if bluati's going probably to a big club this summer they're saying it's uh paris syndrome or arsenal or liverpool i think right arsenal or psg arsenal sorry and leave sam leave sam in the final i'd like i like sam's little voice i like that yeah leave sam okay it's me it makes it it actually sells a lot of jokes uh no i mean i i think that they're fun yeah how they finish i don't know they they were like doing cool things though right like uh i don't know i mean i think that that them in brazil are both going through this was this was a tight match but they have hoopers yeah but they have a they have a juggernaut in their group and uh i think that they're on notice because scotland is top of the group right now that's right one nil stevie clark stevie clark i was gonna do a gaffer's section about stevie clark but i'll give you a little preview because i think i'm going to do stevie clark next episode okay but um he said that this tournament is a different steve clark right why is it a different steve clark because he's uh he's warming up to instituting a 4-4-2 and he's giving the players time with their families so he's joining us in 1987 for tactics he's like he's like i think i'm i'm i'm looking at a 4-4-2 and you could talk to your your kids yeah i mean he's honestly my he's my whole heart what do you think of a scottish fan boston takeover have you seen the videos ah god anything that they could be impressed about with themselves about the scots scots no the scots are the the most pure beautiful amazing people on earth and then bought oh god yeah look how just and then they're so proud of themselves look how we welcome these other white people into our city oh my god congratulations freaking the green hand no i mean the the big shout out to the fucking song i mean that is like chills that's what that's really what gets you in of uh in a like footy but like when you first like start like uh like casually watching it it's like you see stuff like the like the stadium erupt in like uh uh you know the the song that it means so fucking much to all them and they're drunk and actually can i play you something i want to play uh uh this guy dm'd me and uh i just want to play i told him i put it on the show but uh i want to give a big shout out to tommy from glasgow no and he said adamate i'm in fucking england right for a walk i think he's drunk i can't even begin to escape you how fucking shit this is more than a fucking scotland my man scotland are gonna come we're gonna come over you're a big fucking did these man come on son you're in glasgow mate you're in glasgow yeah so he said he'd buy me alcohol if i'm in glasgow i just want to say up the raw come on you hoops okay do you want that guy to replace me as co-host no i want the three of us to get an apartment together in the hollywood hills or a house a house in the hills kind of entourage style i'm uh the filmmaker oh you're billy yeah i'm billy walsh yeah yeah and i'm making the worst movie of all time okay now there was japan 2-2 the second half best 45 minutes of the tournament so far for electric watch it in o'hare airport people were freaking out i japan is just that's my hipster pick for the tournament i just love them i just i love kubo i love i love the way they play collectively and they again like i was saying about the united states looked like a club team with a philosophy japan is the example of that and like out dutch the dutch and also have like the chip kelly style uh signals from the sideline with the like the signs and stuff they're just using numbers but zlatan was like that's fucking revolutionary let's go if you can impress why has no one figured that out i don't know i guess in baseball the world's game needs to catch up to baseball can you imagine how much easier it is to understand a big sign than it is to see pep going like this a hundred times as if that's supposed to mean anything or arteta just be like a press press press gabby gabby gabby he always says he shots a gabby he's kind of like they do he does a tibbs thing yeah when i used to go to nick's games yeah he'd be like dive dive he'd say one word yeah uh uh one of the one fun thing about that match is the japanese uh uh commentary play-by-play is now uh the color commentator is uh kaisuke honda one of my favorite all-timers streets won't forget one of the one of the cleanest free kicks in the game uh and i want to just share some of his comments during the game first of all uh they said when he saw the water break he couldn't figure out what was happening and it left him stunned right uh 10 matches prior in the tournament had been played with water breaks okay uh the moment when the japanese player uh there was a moment where a japanese player collided with a ref and he said give him a yellow god damn it he asked the presenter number 11 he's so damn annoying what's his name and then the guy said cody gackpo and then he goes upon learning his name he uh he asked how tall he is and he said he's 1.93 meters which as anglo or european style guys we both know what that means what is that like six three six four yeah whatever uh he learned he's 1.93 meters and he was shocked he said a 1.93 meter winger come the come on and then he ranked netherlands most dangerous players as gackpo gackpo gackpo de jong and then in the 40th minute he said watching the world cup is so exhausting has it only been 40 minutes and then when he when he liked dumfries he asked where dumfries played and he was surprised when he found out where he plays i don't know what that last one was about uh this is basically like watching football with like a dude who watches football once every four years it's a club legend yeah or it's like a national hero yeah yeah and he's just literally just reacting like yeah exactly like he's just like uh who's the tall guy he plays for liverpool yeah who's that freaking giraffe over there yeah my friends who were liverpool supporters call him the the fucking giraffe uh yeah anyway coman's worst vibe ever but whatever that was the last the second half of that match i think did you see the japanese coach dapped up coman and was just like thank you to dutch football for shaping the world after the match what a ledge i would do that to pay tribute that's right okay germany curse out seven one i checked the history books and the last time they beat a terrible team seven one was against brazil in the world cup semi-final okay uh anything on that kai haverts i think kai haverts good shot for the golden boot i kind of like that that's a sam uh germany better than we expect curse out floor inverts bossed it uh watch him play in 10 for liverpool next season ariel is gonna unlock the whole shit it's gonna be amazing well i had to sit through you talking about saliba being the goat get out of here versus a tank i don't buy it for the prime come on we can't we're on the ringer right now yeah sam i just gave you microphone privileges continue one more time try again verts is too tiny for the prime i don't buy it no say it in a meter more offensive way i'm done the more hateful way of an entire group of people okay ivory coast ecuador one nil cr take it away love watching guys i hate play for their club that i wound up loving for their national team that's moises caicedo for me i hate him on chelsea but he is an absolute ecuador legend played all over the place he's a great player he's a great player he's a great player he's a great the pitch kick the shit out of people but ivory coast looks like a real threat here yeah chrysados uh he's meeting other violent people from around the world getting new tips on new styles of shin kicking this is like comic-con probably for him that's right you know where but guess what he would have been great in an era where men like nigel de young and mark van bommel and uh louis figo were uh just literally just committing uh committing cap cap felony offenses in the dark alleyways if you and they weren't even getting is it tommy from glasgow Like, is that the Scottish guy who called us? Tommy. So you, me, and Tommy move into a house in the Los Angeles, in Hollywood Hills. And we write a movie about Moises Caicedo kicking somebody so hard he goes back in time. And when he wakes up back in time, he's playing as Nigel DeYoung. First of all, Tommy is the leader of the pack. We have to ask his permission before we do anything. Okay. Well, he's playing Moises Caicedo in the movie. If he thinks that's a good idea, I'd be happy to write a movie for him and say, by Tommy, written by Tommy, okay? And have him take all the credit if he wants to make a new song, if he wants to start a singing group like those twins, if he wants to make kind of, I don't know, folk music. No, like the freaking 500 Miles twins. Oh, yeah. What are their names? The Castro brothers, Julian and Joaquin. Why do I say that? Why do I talk? Okay, Sweden, Tunisia. I had to tell you. Prior to seeing the lineups for the matches, that would have been an I don't care match. Guess what, guys? I'd like to introduce you to a segment that we're going to be doing every episode. First episode, we kind of, we discussed it. I didn't say that it was the segment, but we talked about Don Carlo. This episode, I'd like to discuss a man named Graham Potter, a phoenix rising from the ashes, a man who started his career in Sweden, a man who was at Brighton, one of the most attractive up-and-coming, premier league risers. He got him all the way to ninth, okay? Who got a job at Chelsea and, you know, kind of, you know, maybe we go again. He got a job at West Ham, basically got them relegated, basically. It's all him, right? I mean, he only managed five matches for them. He only managed five? Five matches, one win, four losses. And now he's back in Sweden, the place whence it all started. The thing about Graham is that he's always, you can tell, he's always. He's always been trying to find a way to be comfortable in his own skin. And I'd refer to you to Brighton, ninth place, 51 points. Let's take a look at what. That was the Graham Potter we met. That's him. If I'm not mistaken. That's Graham Potter. He's got a training kit on. He's, I don't know, he's just really just got out of bed. It looks like he's trying to get kids at universities to sign up for a credit card. It's more like he's just like, I got it for free, the clothes. Yeah. Right? I'm here to work, okay? Tony Bloom needs me to mold his fucking, however the fuck they find them, signings. He gets the big move up, Chelsea. The fascistic evil organization. Of course, we all remember he got the makeover, right? We all remember the Potter makeover. He did it kind of a James Bond villain style. He got the beard. Ooh, look how it's trimmed. He kind of started brushing his hair forward, maybe a little. A slight Caesar, kind of like hiding the male pattern baldness, and then just the turtleneck blazer, and they were 11th, he was sacked, seven wins, seven draws, eight loss. Okay, then he goes to West Ham, okay? What do we see here? We see him going back to the training clothes, right? But guess what? He's keeping the beard, right? But he still doesn't know what the fuck he's doing with the hair, right? So he's kind of like realized, listen, I wasn't being me at Chelsea, right? I'm going to put on the free clothes that I get from the team, right? Because I don't know. I don't know what, because what the hell am I doing looking at YouTube videos and watching Hasan Piker videos and trying to see where he got all his clothes? So I'm going to be, I'll just get the clothes that West Ham gave me, but I'll keep the beard because I kind of like the beard. It was good for my jawline, made me look a little bit more alpha. Still, I'm going to go with side part. I think I'm going to go side part at West Ham. Disaster class, 19th when he was sacked this season, five matches. Okay, now he's back in Sweden. I think the boy has finally figured it out. Hell yeah. Training clothes. He's maintained the beard and he's figured out what to do with the hair, which is put a giant cowboy hat on top of it. And guess what? He's, this is a Carrie Bradshaw moment. Yeah. And then, of course, they killed the Tunisia coach with a fiery swan. But if Sweden gets to the knockouts, I'll fly to New York. And do the show with you live. But we have to wear that fucking outfit. We have to wear cowboy hats. I'm going to wear the entire thing. Yeah. I'm going to wear the entire thing with you. Sweden, a team that was lucky to get into the World Cup, but somehow didn't lose under Potter, which is so him. It's so Samantha of him. Okay, next. Spain, Cape Verde, nil-nil. Here we go. Shock result. The minnows of island, kind of Portuguese. Are they Portuguese island of half a million people? It's kind of a lot of people for how small them damn islands are. I think. This is shocking, dude. These guys are my favorites to win the tournament. Is Rodri going on Pinaldo watch? I think we have to put him there. Let's fucking go. Fuck you. Rodri had what many are calling un disaster class. Okay. He had a calamitous sinker. Isn't that specifically Catalonian that you're doing right now? I think they all talk this way. Yeah. I went to Ibiza. Okay. Yeah. But basically they looked slow. They looked unathletic and they were also playing indoors. It felt very Arsenal PSG. I got to say heroic, heroic fucking performance by the fucking Cape Verde keeper. I mean, it was tears in my eyes. Absolute master pandemonium in Atlanta. Like the Cape Verde fans were just like crying and dancing. It was unbelievable scenes. Yeah. I think let's cue the Blackhawk down music. I think their, their strategy can only be attributed to one. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Let's take that off the screen. It's really, it was come on. It was ridiculous. Um, I think we can't judge them. We need the boys back. We need the, we need the boys back. I mean, like. Listen, I can't, I'm not going to judge them until they have the best player in the world. Uh, so this is limited. It was a fun one. We had Cape Verde having fun. There's a guy that plays at Shamrock Rovers. They got a, they got a message on LinkedIn that said, do you want to play for Cape Verde? But it was in Portuguese and he thought it was, uh, uh, like a phishing email or spam. And then the coach replied a year later in English and he was like, oh, for real. And everyone in Ireland is going crazy for this guy. And I don't know. I mean, I just think. I just think that this is like one that I could really actually fully enjoy because I want to see Rodri destroyed. He's finished. Go tuck your shirt in, in the retirement home. Okay. Uh, anything else we got? Nothing. No, let's do, uh, do you want to do any, I'll give that an incomplete or any of Iran, Belgium, Egypt. I would just like, here's give a big Rom is flowers. What an insane goal, goal tally for Belgium. 90 in one 27. That is unreal. My man doesn't know how to not score. Reverse of Ronaldo. If you're, if you're back, you're on Lukaku watch literate. Lukaku is still bagging, but he's somehow also Asamoah Gion watch list. I will say, I don't know where the fuck he's been. He was on Everton four years. Where the fuck has he been? I think he's going to see you, pal. Does Chelsea still have his rights? I don't even know. He's on loan to three different Italian teams. Minnesota or he's on some crap. Napoli. He's Napoli. Yeah. He's two years. Napoli. Who am I thinking of? Who's on Minnesota? Hummus surgery guys. Oh, I'm thinking of hummus. Can we run that again? Sam never correct me in front of Chris. He's my new friend. I'm trying to get on the rewatchables and powering characters from Sophie's choice. Okay. Number one or number two. Let's keep going. Lift powering choices from Sophie's choice. One or two. Okay. Saudi Uruguay. Don't care. Uruguay exposed four nil Adam over Chris in the mud real quick. I just need to go in a lawless style rant about Iran, New Zealand. The Iranians were spoiled, entitled, overpaid, 300 billionaires waltzing into Los Angeles, saving a point against one of the, one of the weakest sides in the tournament. I am sick of Iran. I'm hitting the panic button. I'm going to say four. One, Chris, I was, I'm out on a run. They're just counting their 300 billion. They just went and got on their private jet to go back to Tijuana. Their private jet to Tijuana. Listen, I used to know that. Okay. Continue. Okay. I just want to close on one thing. Chris, you want to update us on the, we got to come up with a name for it, but like the folly of the England men's national team. Of course, you and I Englishman abroad. Love Englishman. Yeah. This is them. This is them. They were having a fight in Majorca and getting arrested because they were on a stream. They were on a streamers with a streamer with enormous fake teeth, caught them swinging a punch and then them getting arrested while they're purple. Like they're literally so tan, they're purple. And then going back to like Stoke to have a shit food and whatever they, okay, cut all that. All right. Well, let's, uh, let's just catch up with our boys real quick and I just want to, and then we can wrap things up. Okay, so England have been in Kansas City decades. They have been having a tough time of it. First of all, they got some of their stuff stolen. There's been a tornado. There's been a shooting near their camp. Nothing funny about that. They were practicing, and some guy pranked them and made them sign the Declaration of Independence to see if they would notice, and they didn't. This is kind of like Hogan's Heroes. Someone's just doing pranks. I mean, I guess they're the prison guards, but it just seems like someone's just fucking with them. Yes. They got signed jerseys, match boots, signed soccer balls stolen, and most importantly, Harry Kane doesn't have pants. Can we show this picture? They were showing the England hotel, and it kind of looked like a courtyard suites. Someone is fucking with them. I don't know. It really just like, I don't know if you caught this, but notorious homophobe center back Mark Gay, he was even tricked into attending a nightclub for individuals that have, what is described as an alternative lifestyle. Is that right? Yeah. Apparently, he was using Apple Maps. I don't know what I'm saying. I really just needed something to end that with. Okay, so I looked into who might have it out for England. Okay. And I was like, who in the media just hates them? It was just like, so I just want to go through a couple of clips of what I found. The Scottish? I'm in a very investigative mood. I did the. I told Pablo. Pablo, by the way, told me that I'm like, literally, he wishes he could give me his Pulitzer. And I said, nay. I said, hang on to it. Let's watch some of these clips and see who has it out for King Charles. A man who I. Who in the soccer media do you disagree with the most right now? Anybody with the British press, usually. I mean, listen. Here's the deal. The British press? What's with this setup? Anybody but England this summer, okay? RG3 cowboy. I don't care who wins the World Cup this summer, but it cannot be England. All right? Next clip. Let's play the next clip. Who hasn't won, by the way, a World Cup since back in the 60s. If they were to come to our shores, oh, by the way, on our 250th birthday, and they were to win the World Cup, you think the English are insufferable now? He thinks we're rivals? Can you imagine if they won the World Cup this summer? So it's usually, you know, some. Can we get the next clip?. snooty, snobby type of British press member. Okay, let's get the next clip. So I found another person. There's a lot of things that are going to happen this summer. All right? But one thing I cannot abide is England coming to our shores on our 250th birthday. Okay, next clip, next clip, next clip. Let's get the next clip. Okay. behind us. It's being rehearsed, of course, for a little bit later on, and we cannot wait. This is going to be Alexi's moment. Well done, well done. Can we talk about James Corden for a second? Oh, what do you guys call him? Polk and Wanker, right? Or whatever. Oh, my God. Cut that, cut that, cut it, cut it, cut it. Please cut it. I mean, listen, listen. We could all have our issues with England, okay? Apparently, they did some shady stuff in Africa or something. I'm not really familiar. But to talk about beloved, I mean, just English comedy fucking, like, angel James Corden in that manner. I mean, it's just like. Won't have it. How dare they fucking. Take James. Listen, I'm a comedian, and we're all brothers of the mic. It's true. Okay? Listen, you could come for the king, but once you come for Corden, that is where I draw a line. So I looked into it, and. Oh, listen. Lawless, I think a lot of members of the media are kind of operating as kind of a, I don't know, a front man for something more nefarious, right? Okay. So, like, a lot of, like, members of the media, like, NBA journalism kind of have, like, their guy that's in their phone that they're kind of, like, you know, kind of promoting kind of in terms of punditry. So I don't want to say that I. Far be it from me to just accuse Lawless of this one-man conspiracy to steal Harry Kane's shorts and maybe potentially underpants later on, okay? So I. So. So. That's why. Then I went to the old well. The gift that keeps on giving. And I'd like to show you. I'd like to show you this tweet that I found. Can you read it to me, Chris? Just ate a fried bucket of shit. Thank God I don't care if I get these shorts dirty. Okay. And that is from who? What account? Freddie LA7. At Freddie LA7. Freddie from Germany. Yeah. A viral sensation. Okay, so, but how do we know. So, listen, again, how can we be sure those are Harry Kane's? Can we. Was there a follow-up tweet? Did he clarify how he got those England shorts? By the way, I stole these shorts. From Harry Kane. Pussy. Just, like, I think it's a good button for this episode, Chris. Listen, I've been going a little crazy these last couple of days investigating this Freddie from Germany thing. It just pisses me off that you and I are just putting the work in. Yeah. Day in and day out. Making viral soccer content. And then this fucking. This fucking guy posts a diarrhea sandwich and every. Even the president is giving him the fucking Medal of Freedom. And I just want to say, partner, even if we don't get our approval or our flowers from the people outside, I just want to say I appreciate you, sir. Yeah, I appreciate you too, man. So, anyway, guys, thanks for joining us. We will be back on Friday and every Tuesday and Friday until the end of this whatever happens. We're not going to quit. Guys, we're not going to quit. We're not. Watching sports is a job now for me. And I don't care who thinks that it's not a job. She can. Thanks, guys. Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-CONTACTS. Oh, my gosh, they're so fast. And breathe. Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste. Visit 1-800-CONTACTS.com today to save on your first order. 1-800-CONTACTS. For a limited time, you can get a Big Mac Mule for just $8. That's a burger, fries, and a drink. They don't. They don't call it an extra value meal for nothing. Get a Big Mac Mule only at McDonald's. Price and participation may vary. Promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing.