Frankie Quiñones & That’s What’s Down

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Uncle Levi? Uncle Ben. Well, Ben Kenobi is. Yeah, but remember? Was his last name Kenobi? No. Uncle Owen. Do you remember? Uncle Owen! You know what I mean? I'm gonna fix the Delitherears. I don't know what the name is. The Delitherears. Anyway, yeah. Jar Jar? That's in the prequel ones. Yeah, I don't really like those. I'm not a big fan of those ones. What do you think of the later ones with the J.J. Abrams ones? What do you think of those? First one was okay. I thought they were corny a little bit. I like Daisy Ridley. I don't know about you. She's fun. I love her. I don't know why. I just do. Yeah. Yeah. Those are good. I did the show Monday, and it's a high-level show. I signed an NDA. You can put this out. I can't tell you what it is. I don't know anything about it, but I'm just going to tell you this. I failed miserably. First of all, I had to do a Chinese accent, which I'm not good at. But it was like. Because you're Korean? No, I just. Asian accent? No, no. I don't think. I think, Chloe, you've said this. You don't think I do a good Asian accent? Sometimes it hits, and it hits real good, but then you go in and out of it. Oh, yeah? Yeah. So, like, stick with it. Like, okay, from now, for two minutes, only Asian accent. And real or comedic? Like, grounded? Like, comedic. What kind, though? There's different kinds. How about South Korean? No, no, no. I'm not specific regions. I'm not. I do two different kinds. Aggressive. Your good one is aggressive Japanese. Oh. Like, my. Hello. How are you? How are you? Uh-huh. My name is Toshi Okamoto. Stanley. Still good? It's still good, yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Anything. I don't know. Nothing. Was that aggressive Japanese? It can get aggressive. Why don't you? Clear your room! But, see, that's more, like, angry Korean, though. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. But the one I did Monday was. You know, 'cause the dictator I'm writing was in the Dictator? Yeah. It's the higher up one. Yeah. Yeah. The cuter one. Yeah. Yeah. Hello. How are you? Who's the one you did with, um, Andrew Santino and Adam Rae, the Hututuri? Oh, love that guy. Yeah. That's. Was it. That wasn't supposed to be Asian, though. That was more, um. Russian? Weird, islander-y kind of a thing. That one is really good. Yeah. Hututuri. Yeah. Yeah. You don't know anything if I don't know, you know? Yeah. I like that one. That one. If you break my arm, I break you. Eye for eye. That's island. Yeah, yeah. That's more island. island what island that's some ambiguous island some could argue japan's a big island yeah how about you do you do do you do asian accent i do yeah you do one right now i don't want to because i don't want to like mock my own people oh so i'm mocking people you let me do fucking two minutes of fucking mocking that's why you get decided nda yeah yeah yeah do you can you do an asian accent uh-huh try it no i can't we'll bleep it out and blow your face no no no you got it how about this let's let's no do this let's do it in yeah there we go yeah yeah we don't want to do this let's create a mock um accent that's what i like it's fun to do okay an accent that you don't even know where it's from so like the tiger belly theme song yeah yeah oh yeah so let's so now you can't get in trouble but um okay so it can just be hey me i'm trying hold on hey man hey my god i'm out i'm gonna go i'm gonna go to the store yeah that we don't know what that's from yeah yeah yeah you try ambiguous you won't do any of them huh no because you're scared because whatever i do there's gonna be a country for it i see i see yeah i can't like i'm not that imaginative right okay yeah stereotypes are real yes yes but are they think about it let me look some up no i know i know that like asian stereotypes let's get real about it what about the watermelon one whoa asian watermelons yeah yeah i feel like japanese love watermelons by the way philippines we have the best watermelon let's be honest the japanese have better ones i don't know the square ones that are like ten thousand dollars one oh i've never seen those yeah yeah japanese have really good fruit they do have the other the fruit kings yeah yeah yeah yep this is um yeah so it's stereotypes like asians can't drive i don't think that's right that's not right i think it's accurate here's why though but it actually makes sense culturally you go to like southeast asian countries the traffic laws are not the same here we just drive different yeah it's just a different so i think it's the stereotype is true if they're driving yeah because i was in thailand once i saw a head-on collision they both put their head out the window go okay let's move on see it's just different they don't stop or anything exchange insurance no insurance yeah yeah it's okay it's okay move on right the fender's gone right one of the cars on fire everything okay you know what i mean i actually think asians are uh too good i would also agree i would that's that thing that's i would agree with that yeah we're too good we're reckless we're too good that we're reckless yeah because it's over here it's very lawful right and like we come from a land of like lawlessness on the road yeah and also zero to like zero road rage yeah over here it's lawful and we're not allowed to drive and so it's like i don't know it's like you have it's different i but i would say like anytime i'm in a car with an asian person do i like brace i do but not because they're bad drivers i just think that they take risks i'm bad no you're incredible i actually think you know you get you know how many accidents have you been in with bobby come on cars and not only that you you always say that you know the way i drive yeah you get nauseous he is so good that he could be a race car driver that's why i fear i hate driving with him because he's so fast yeah i've been in a fender bender with him yeah but that's like race cars you don't think in race cars when they go in the circles an f1 true yeah yeah they get in front of vendors if he hits a car he's a great driver this is what great thing about him if he hits a car even if it's a fender bender he takes 500 he puts it on the windshield and it's like okay yeah what's up frankie what's up bud we're talking about asian driving any thoughts we're talking about stereotypes to see hey buddy stereotypes to see if they're true or not you know what i mean well yeah that was true right so you don't think asians the the stereotype asians can't drive you think it's true or not i mean obviously there's some asians that can't but overall yeah really okay i don't yeah yeah yeah what about i've you know i've dated some asian yeah but is it the woman part that's oh here we go hey you know you could be the woman part i mean can women parallel park yeah okay i can't let's go through the uh asians are good at math wait can i just ask a question go ahead are there asians in the f1 race yes yes and by the way bianca bustamante okay who's that bianca bustamante and bobby you dated she said it like michael jordan like we all supposed to know who have you heard of this person no she's you should if you have it then it's oh my gosh she's hot right well more than that she's an incredible driver and by the way bobby you dated a race car driver that is true oh yeah damn you don't know who this is lewis hamilton i wish if you dated lewis hamilton yeah no i dated a girl that was like a really professional driver and incredibly hot incredibly hot and i wish i used to watch her races online yeah wow and i used to get super nervous that's crazy is she like is she good at what do you mean i mean does she like win any races yes no no she does yeah she wins all of them she goes backwards i think she's ranked like top 10 in the world i wow really holy it's probably because she's so hot you're distracted by her she's filipino yeah super cute she has more followers than me makes it hurts my feelings but anyway oh no you're gonna give her more followers i heard she liked zach wood's post okay let's go cat fearless dude over here it's a callback you weren't here yeah i was like nobody was here so asians are gonna mad do you think that's real i'm not good at it i think i think you are i don't give me an equation one plus one i'm out i'm lost two give me a more complex okay okay how x squared plus the four squared equals oh this is too hard man what about you you know it no hell no yeah yeah as soon as you say squared and all that yeah yeah pie square when you say equation i get freaked out okay yeah ZocDoc ZocDoc for your health ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment like why wouldn't you do that we do that with restaurants and stuff we should do that with our health read reviews like in this episode we talk about the time when you were coughing up yeah and you needed a doctor Yeah, you go to ZocDoc. 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And that's something that's a very sensitive topic for a lot of people. But I think Monarch money makes it so that, you know, no one's in the dark. All the information is available for you and your partner. That's so good. Maybe it saves a lot of marriages. Yeah. No more guessing, guys. No more hiding. No more, I didn't realize we spent that much. And one of the things I love, too, is that I can give access to Roger, my stepdad, who is my financial advisor. So when I. I just. I'm not paying attention to things. He can be like, hey, Kalilah, like, this is what's going on. And I'm like, okay, thanks, Rog. Don't let financial opportunities slip through the cracks. Use code tigerbelly at monarch.com in your browser for half. for half off your first year. That's 50% off your first year at Monarch.com with code TIGERBELLY. Yeah, I'm not good at it. Were you good at school? Nah. I mean, I hung in there, but nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two-point whatever student. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's perfect. That's a perfect place to be. Two-point something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just right in the middle. But if you brought home bad grades, were you scared? Yeah, homie. Homie, fuck, bro. I don't know. Homie, I don't know what kind of fuck. Fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, my mom and dad would trip. They would trip? Hell yeah. Yeah, I'll let you. Yeah, hell yeah. Oh, wow. I mean, you know, if I was, like, getting a D's or F's or whatever, yeah. Would they hit you? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, me too. The worst days of my life were report card days. I even thought about suicide. Really? Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck. Like, I would go to a cliff. There was a cliff by my house. No. And I would sit there with the report card. I wouldn't really do it. I didn't do it because I'm alive now. But I would look at the report card and look at the cliff and go, this could be a better option. Like, if you didn't do well in geometry? My parents would beat the shit out of me. Oh, yeah. I hear that. That I feel. You know that, right? You know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't know the feeling of getting bad grades. See, but, what's bad grades? Like, when you're, like, failing? Yeah. 1.2. Oh, 1.2, you should get hit. Oh, yeah. You should get hit. Yeah, Ds, Fs, yeah, all across the board. In high school, I started to fuck around, but then before that, I just, I was too afraid. I was too afraid. Like, I know the beating around the corner. Why would I fuck around? Yeah, but I'm a warrior. You are. You're braver than me. I knew I was gonna get beat. I still got bad grades. Wow. Fuck, you're crazy. I don't think that's because you were a warrior. That's not because you were a warrior. That's because you were dum-dum. Really? Dum-dum, yeah. No, I would be like, no, yeah. Okay. It's not that I can't, I can comprehend. I actually think you're better at math than you give yourself credit for. Okay. Because, like, when he, like, calculates tips, like, as he's paying for things, he's so fast. He's faster than anyone at the table. Yeah, see, he probably just doesn't even notice his Asian-ness when it comes to math. He's just like, I'm done, but. Really, maybe. How about this stereotype? Asians are sneaky. Is that a stereotype? Because he's a ninja? Oh. Is that the thing? Is that a stereotype or did I make it up? Or is that you? Are you sneaky? I'm very sneaky. He's sneaky. I'm sneaky as fuck, bro. What's your sneakiest thing you've ever done? Well, sometimes I'm there, I'm not there. That's ninja. That's a ninja. Yeah, that's ninja shit, yeah. Yeah. So, anyway, what about Hispanic, you like the stereotypes, Hispanic stereotypes? No, I don't even like that word, Hispanic. What do you like to be called? A Latino, homie. All right, homie. I didn't know, dude. You gotta draw a boundary. You're drawing a boundary, dude. Right, homie? All right? I didn't know that about you. Yeah, yeah. From now on, I'm gonna say fucking Latin. I mean, whatever, it's fine if it's like on a, you know, filling out an informational sheet or whatever. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, yeah. So, Latino, what Latino stereotypes are not true, you think? For me, it's like, you know, they say, I'm saying Mexicans are lazy. They're not. They're not, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm sure there's some out there, but. Yeah, everyone has people out there. I know a lot of lazy whites. Yeah. Well, yeah, well, yeah. They could be the laziest in many ways. Lazy is a myth. It doesn't exist. What? You would agree? I actually believe, I don't believe there's anyone inherently lazy, like, in the world. You just like. I think that either they're not able to do it because of whatever. You need help, Latina? Yeah. I don't feel, I don't believe that people are just like, oh, I'm just going to, I don't think people are lazy at all. I think there always is a reason why they can't do what they want to do or need to do. Son, get a job. Wait, what? Yeah, I don't believe it. It doesn't make any sense. It does. You don't think they have that moment where like, I know I could do that, but man, nah, fuck that. But there's always a reason, right? Like, I don't believe that someone's like just straight up lazy. The reason why is because they're lazy. They're not lazy. I don't believe it. I don't believe it. But I think they're making a conscious decision to just kick it and not go do that right there. Yeah. Take out that trash. Yeah, but that still has to do with either why you want to avoid doing something. Like for me, right? Like I like to avoid or like do things really last minute. Not because I'm lazy. I'm afraid of not, of failing at that thing. So I'll like just not do it at all. But there are people that don't want to do it. There's no reason. What I'm saying is why. Son, son, get a job. Nah, dad. I just want to do it. I just want to chill, man. Why? I just don't want to. But you're saying there's a deeper reason for not doing it. Why is everyone a surfer guy? I don't know. I just don't want to, dude. Dude. Hey, dude. My dad just said to get a fucking job, dude. Are you going to get a job, dude? No way, dude. No way, dude. You know what you want? Let's be fucking lazy together, dude. That's pretty good. Fuck yeah, dude. Lazy's the way, brother. It is the way. It's the way of us. I'm exploring myself. I don't want to get caught up in this system, dude. Yeah, let's just sit here on this couch and smoke weed. Feel like it? Were those guys white? Those were white people? This is the next beef that's been brought down. Well, dude, I feel like it's different with a lot of white homies, though, because they already know they probably already have money. They're not tripping off that. They're just like, why? Why do I need to work? Yeah. When my mom and dad die, I'm going to get all this money. Oh, you mean like people like nepotism, but what do you call them? Nepo baby. No, not nepo baby. Nepo baby is people that are going to get trust fund kids. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd love to be a trust. Would you be doing comedy if you were a trust fund kid? Oh, I don't know. That's tough. I mean, there's some funny ass trust fund comedians out there, but yeah, I don't know. I think our comedy is a little bit. I know who they are. He's sneaky. Say the names, we'll believe it. I know who they are. Like, you find out, oh, their parents are billionaires, and they're that funny? Oh, yeah, yeah. I knew that. And he was like, he got gamed up by his dad because he invested all his shit in real estate. He's making money in his sleep. Like, comedy is like a little side piece. It's a side thing, yeah. Which kind of makes comedy feel like more lighthearted because it's just nothing. You don't have to invest everything into it because you're like, oh, just whatever. Yeah. He's good at it. And he's super humble and chill, though. That's why, you know, I like that dude. That's how you know they're like rich, rich. Oh, easy. Because humble, chill people are like that. Well, yes, because super successful, super humble and chill, like, are always humble and chill and nice. When they haven't made it yet, they're mean and nasty. You ever notice that? Oh, like new money versus old money? No, not at all. Dog eat dog world. Get out of my way. It's like when they haven't hit that level of success that they want to be yet, they're scrappier, they're meaner because they're hungry still. Even when they're already rich, you're saying. No, no, not yet. When they make it and they make that money and they're comfortable, they're more supportive of their peers they're nicer, they're just less like, because they're not like fighting for their lives anymore so they have space to be kind if that makes any sense. Are you talking about rich kids that make it? I'm talking about anyone. Like comics. I disagree. Why? I believe that poor kids that make it, I've noticed they hoard and then they protect their status and then they buy into their own bullshit. What do you mean? I think you're thinking of someone specific. Yeah, that's very specific. He's got one. I'll take a chance. His name is Steven. Well, think about yourself, right? Yeah. Like, you know how before you used to like dragon kick other like your peers? I didn't dragon kick anybody. I never dragon kicked anybody. Somebody dragon kicked my face. Oh, wait, that's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Between you and so-and-so or you and Ari, you guys were always like beefing and fighting and fighting but then you get to a level of success where you guys are actually able to like be friends now because you know we're successful now. We all made it. It's like Kobe and Shaq. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. After the rings, they were like, okay, we're chill now. Yeah. Maybe Drake and Kendrick will get there too. Maybe. Maybe. The big ass. Who knows? Yeah. Long time from now. Yeah. You don't have beefs, huh? No. No. There's not one person. You don't have to say names but there's not somebody who's like, ah, fuck that dude. Resentments for sure. I mean, oh yeah, well, resentments are, that's different. You have resentments? I mean, you know. Toward comedians? Oh, no, no, not towards comedians. Oh. I mean, maybe earlier on but I don't, yeah. Yeah. I never, never had. Bobby, stop trying to find it. You're trying to find him. No, but it was like, when I first- He's such a nice guy that I'm like, I believe him. I believe him. Yeah, I really have to like think about it like, ah, I did have a problem with that dude. I don't know. There's nobody that like, hey, you know what? Fuck that dude. That one time, da, da, da. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You have a war against yourself. Yeah, my resentment is more towards myself. Yeah. No, because I find that too. You know, there's no one more I hate than myself. So I punish myself and then I feel these things and I want to drown it with, you know what I mean, drugs and alcohol and all these other things. Because of the self kind of hatred, you know, which I've completely gotten better at, you know. I think I'm beginning to- really like myself a lot more. I really, I do believe that. - I believe that. I feel when I show up to places now, there's more of a sense of like, I belong here. Do you feel that? Yes, for sure. Yeah, you do belong in the comedy community. I think you're well-loved. Oh, thank you for saying that. First of all, give Frankie Q. Nunes a round of applause. Hey, what's up, homie? What's up, homie? I love Frankie. He has a Hulu special that's out now on Hulu. What's it called? It's called Damn, That's Crazy. Damn, That's Crazy. I saw you work it out in the belly room a couple of times. It's so good. Oh, thanks, man. And the end product, did you feel good about it? Yes, I did. Okay. Yeah, yeah, which I hate watching myself, speaking of the self-hate thing. But after I saw it, and then Ali Wong helped. She was directed and produced it. She was real hands-on in post. Yeah. So she kind of took a first pass at it, and then I started watching it, and I was like, I didn't hate it. I was like, oh, okay, yeah. Actually, it was good, I think. Yeah, no, I didn't hate it. Wow, wow, wow, wow. Which is rare for me. Yeah. Usually when I'm watching myself, I'm like. How many shows did you shoot? Two. Two in Portland. In Portland. At a place called Revolution Hall. Yeah. And both sets did you like, or was there one set that you liked more than the other? You know what? I ended up liking them both. I mean, I was so well-prepared, man. I was just like, because I was so paranoid that I was going to fuck it up, that I just like, yeah, so I was really prepared. But interestingly, interestingly, though, the earlier show was more rowdy than the later show, like, crowd-wise. Oh, wow. Yeah, which is kind of funny, but they were both good shows. Wow, that's amazing. So good. And it's out now. Yeah. And is that the trailer? Yeah, there's a trailer. Yeah. So, you know, it looks pretty cool. Yeah, it looks cool, dude. It's so good. It's so good. Yeah. How many seats was the venue? Like eight-something. Oh, eight-something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Two shows. Congratulations. Is that your second special? First hour special, yeah. You did a half hour? I did like a half hour, like variety show thing for like HBO years ago, but yeah, this is the first. Amazing. Piece of all stand-up, just bam. I like your shoes, too. Oh, thank you, homie. Yeah. Jackie Robinson edition Cortez. Nice. What is it? Jackie Robinson edition Cortez special edition. Had to get them on eBay, homie. Yeah. I mean, how do you choose your clothes? Was that a hard thing to do? It was so funny. I was like, they like, like Hulu gave me some money to like, you know, go like find an outfit, and I went and like bought all this shit, because I hate shopping. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I fucking, I just go like, yeah, cool. That looks cool. I just buy a bunch of shit, and then I ended up wearing like what I normally wear, just a black tee and some jeans. Did you buy a set of them or no? What? A couple of pairs of the same thing or no? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Except I bought two pairs of those shoes, and then I bought like, you know, I bought like every black shirt there was, but just I was trying to wear something, maybe now something more colorful, but then Allie was like, you know, what do you normally wear? I'm like, dude, I wear a black tee and like, you know, like that's why I feel comfortable. She's like, then do that, you know? And I was like, all right, cool. Because I'm thinking about, because when I do mine, a complete outfit, but maybe all leather? No, homie. No, no, no. Because we could, like we talked about that. We're like, you know, you can tell when you watch a special and like a comedian's like wearing a certain outfit, you could tell like they don't normally wear that. You can like feel the energy. I agree. They feel out of their body. Yeah, they're like, like they're doing too much. Like, ooh, a special. So they try to like, you know, and it's like, hey, homie, you don't normally wear that. Yeah, they don't look like themselves. Right, right. Or you could tell they don't, they're not moving like themselves. I have a brown monkey, like brown, like a full on, just one color. Brown monkey? Monk. Oh, monk. I thought you said I have a brown monkey. Like, you know what I mean? Like sort of like a loose monkey kind of, you know, I would say monkey again. Yeah, you said monkey. Yeah, yeah, you said monkey. What are you saying? Monk dash. Why? Like a monk. Oh, yes, like a monk. Like a brown, like, no? Please, God, no. Why? Shave my head bald? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it. So I just wear just jeans. That's what you're wearing today. I feel like that's, you're going to be the most free up there in what you always wear. Yeah, but does it look like a special outfit? I think you could. But it'll, yeah. Go ahead. Sorry. No, no, go ahead, go ahead. I said, I think you could wear. I think you could wear anything you wanted on stage and it would, you would make it feel comfortable. I don't feel like you would be out of your body in an outfit. Do you? I don't know. I just. I wouldn't feel uncomfortable. Like, look at what Eddie Murphy wore. Yeah, but that's, he's, he was a different beast, homie. You could tell, like, he belongs in that suit. Yeah, that's, yeah. Oh. How about, how about this? This is what I'm going to do. Okay. I'm going to buy a bunch of outfits. Yeah. And then we're going to collectively look at them. Let's workshop it. We'll workshop it. Yeah, yeah. That's what Al, is it now? That's iconic. I've never seen Ali wear that. But that's iconic now. On the streets. No. Yeah. I feel like she does. That she different? No, she doesn't. I know her well. She'd go old school Rat Pack. Just wear a suit. Yeah. Go back to previous. Okay, let's see what Mulaney wore. Suit. Yeah, but. I've never seen Mulaney wear that at the clubs. He always wears suits, though, for his specials, right? That's what I'm saying. I've never seen him wear a tie like that, with that much art on it, though. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. The art tie. Lenny Bruce. Okay. I can't do a suit. Yeah, people wear suits. I cannot imagine you in a suit, though. Yeah, I can't do a suit. Yeah. No. What's that one? Gallagher? I don't know who this is. George Carlin. Oh, George Carlin. Yeah. But you can go aggressively. Go back. Yeah, I'll go aggressively like that, then, maybe. Yeah. Yeah, like cut off sleeves like that. Don't you wear something like that? That orange, like, construction shirt, sleeveless shirt you always wear that people hate? Yeah, yeah. Maybe I'll do that. The highlighter shirt? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. You do have, like, a very strong sense of fashion. I think you're a fashionista a little bit. I agree. Yeah. Yeah. He is. I'm scared now. I'll figure it out later. It's months away. Dude, yeah, that is, like, your least of your worries. Yeah, yeah. Now, your backdrop, did you choose that? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They did, like, you know, like a mock-up of, like, some options. Yeah. And then they were like, you know, what do you want to use and what color and how do you want the curtains to go? Yeah. But we went as. Yeah, simple. As simple as can be. Because Ali was like, yeah, you don't need. You can maybe play around in the next special, but your material's so strong and all that, you just want people to just sit with it. And I was like. Oh, no. I have a whole fucking backdrop. I hired a whole team to do it. No, no. Oh, no. People already know you, you know? Yeah, yeah. I'm like. Yeah. People on this one are like, hey, this is. Get to know me a little bit, you know? Oh, right. You're the. People might be expecting that from you, like, oh, shit, Bobby Lee's coming to the special. But with no pressure, I'm just saying, like, you're going to do great. What does your backdrop look like? I'm doing a fucking My Neighbor Totoro. Yeah, Hayao Miyazaki, like Studio Ghibli. Ooh, sick. Yeah, yeah. Like woodsy, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe some creatures in the background. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't put too many creatures on. Why? Because you don't want people to get distracted, like, you know? Every frame, you don't want to see a creature in the background. I want to see you. I need help. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I need help. Bobby's just me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, right? Just like, all right, I'll do a close-up on each of the creatures. Yeah, yeah. I'm not talking about creatures. I'm just saying a little eyeball, a little figure, you know, behind trees. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's cool. I like that idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, your budget's probably way bigger than mine, it sounds like. No, it's not. We got the same. We got the same dog. Yeah. And do you think they're promoting it well, or? It feels like it, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? I don't know. Hopefully people are watching it. Yes, I did. I was in, they had a big one in Times Square. Wow. Yeah, yeah. And then. Did you go there and take a photo? Yeah, I did. You did? I had to. You had to. I was out there doing press last week, and then a couple homies said to me, I was like, dude, your shit's in Times Square. I was like, oh, what? That's so awesome. We went over there. Yeah. And as we're walking up, it just pops up. Oh, it's one of those screens that switches? Yeah, you know, it's Times Square. You know, all those big old screens? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know, but like every, I don't know, four or five minutes, it pops up. When you see that, how do you, because I remember I was on, I've been on a couple of billboards, and. Just so you know, I've been on a couple of billboards. No, in the 30-year career I've had, two. One was a Geico commercial. Sorry. It's El Pollo Loco. El Pollo Loco? Wait, weren't you in El Pollo Loco? Yeah, I was. Yeah. Oh, El Pollo Loco? Really? Yeah, I was in that. I was fucking hungry and needy and desperate. I'm not knocking it. That's when I did the El Pollo Loco. Hell yeah. Wait, didn't Brad Pitt like do the, he dressed as a chicken, right, for El Pollo Loco or something? Brad Pitt did? Yeah, wasn't it Brad Pitt? I remember something like that. Dang. Yeah, I think it was Brad Pitt, yeah, he was like the sign guy for an El Pollo Loco restaurant. Before he made it? Yeah. Yeah. Obviously. Yeah, yeah. It was right after Ocean's Eleven. Oh shit. That's me in the El Pollo Loco. All right. Okay. That was so quick. What? Oh, you're holding a drumstick clap? Yeah. Why are you holding one drumstick doing this? Oh shit, dude. I know, dude. That's awesome. Yeah, yeah. Is that Warner Brothers? Yeah. I don't remember, but that was a long time ago, dude. Oh my God. That was hilarious. I've done a lot of those weird commercials, but anyway, yeah, what was he talking about? The feeling of the billboard. Oh yeah, the billboard. So when you take a photo of it, how do you feel? I don't know. yeah i mean it's it's out of body it's great and we had some for this full you know but this one was just like just me like my head all big so it's a little bit like oh yeah it's just crazy yeah but then you're like all right that's pretty cool yeah because it made i think about that first time i got 20 bucks and two free drinks to do a gig and i was like oh hey man we're on our way you know and then that was like yeah here we are almost 20 years later and then it's like you know that's amazing time square yeah also people don't drive by go oh there's frankie or bobby or whatever they just go whatever you know yeah yeah it doesn't mean for us it's kind of cool yeah it is cool for us yeah it is no it is no it's great see homie why'd you say it all kind of yeah it is cool for us huh yeah it is cool you know yeah um so can we talk about sobriety or no sure homie yeah how much time do you have now nine months today that's fucking amazing that's amazing it's a baby my chipper oh i shouldn't put that on here it's anonymous yeah yeah yeah but um yeah it's the whole last baby i was thinking yeah somebody rammed the day first day i didn't drink or do drugs and then now that baby came out today yeah yeah nine months he doesn't know that gestation yeah oh yeah calculations oh you're doing a baby reference yeah your cat mentioned you did the baby nine months is baby i know i know that nine months it's actually ten i know nine months nine months is baby squared yeah nine months nine months squared if it's a year what happens it's like elephants i think are longer like wait but if you if you mean saying if you left a baby in there for a year yeah it'd die i don't think yeah it would die the water would break and then it would drown oh what about six months six months they make it they can they can make it i was born almost three months early no way no incubator for like 18 days oh oh my god those little nikki babies on tiktok and i cry i cry yeah i was a little homie really i still have a little homie but yeah that's probably why yeah but my my tia talked shit bro she was like you look like a little alien you didn't have no eye brows or eyelash my mom thought i was the cutest thing but all my tias are like and were you like this small when you yeah it was probably like that i think this yeah were they nervous that you weren't gonna make it i don't think it was that crazy but it was like he's gotta be here for a while wow but i think that i think right away they were like he's gonna be okay but he's gotta be he's gonna be in this little thing yeah yeah at that age your lungs aren't quite you don't have the surfactant in your lungs to breathe well like you need so much help when you're that small you're just you're eager yeah like i needed to come out for some reason yeah oh they did a c-section on my mom and then okay and then a little homie came yeah yeah yeah and were you the you have sisters brothers i have a sister older the younger oh i see so you're the first six and a half years younger than me yeah really yeah wow yeah my mom my mom and dad were planners yeah but so were you close with her because that's yeah oh you were close with her yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you were i know it seems like it's a big but once we were like both in our 20s and we're just like all right oh you love her yeah yeah we talk pretty much every day oh yeah that's nice but what changed this time with your sobriety you think uh yeah just all the rock bottoms on me it was crazy yeah i mean i was still battling the last time i was here the last time i did tiger belly i i was like i got on a sick one that night and i was trying to like keep it cool wait i think i relapsed that night right yeah really yeah you did what you did tiger i was still like on shaky ground i was i knew i needed to get sober and then yeah and then we were talking about it even and i felt good leaving here yeah and then i went home and i was by myself and yeah and then i think i like found a baggie in a drawer and you know that's all it took yeah and i was supposed to go meet some people at the comedy store and i ended up just isolating it just had me you know two years ago yeah there you go homie that night wow and we're like we're having fun you're doing yeah you're like i'm gonna fucking relapse tonight dog to relapse tonight get on a sick one yeah yeah it's it you know i'll be honest with you frankie it's hard i mean there are times where i'm at a club and i'm like really depressed at a bad set or yeah you know i read a bad comment online and i'm like i should just take a couple of shots of whiskey what's that gonna hurt and i just don't do it you know i mean but it is i i mean i've come almost pretty close of like just going fuck it just do it yeah yeah and and i just don't it's yeah it's so hard in the beginning man after i had to get past that hump yeah i mean i always tell this story i think i mentioned it last time but you were the first one to be like you have it man you know you have the disease or whatever and i'm like you don't fucking know me and then like a year later i was like oh maybe he was right yeah but i did that but yeah yeah and and then in the beginning uh it just sucked man and i was like i just had trouble getting on stage it just wasn't like i wasn't you were worried about you oh yeah of course i was worried about you i was worried i was just like you know yeah it's not gonna this is not gonna end i'm hopeless you know yeah but uh yeah it's the longest chunk of time you've had right oh yeah homie i only had i think the longest i had was uh around 100 100 days and and that was like you know i wasn't working the program really though but now i'm just all in you know you're all in yeah that's awesome that's fucking amazing nine nine months homie so it was like yeah yeah you know and i had the chunks before that but nothing that yeah of that length and how do you a lot of the relapses were like you know what i'm gonna have some drinks on me i'll be good alcohol was never my problem it was always yeah yeah you know ecstasy and mushrooms are always my jam but cocaine's what drove me to the ground yeah yeah yeah yeah you gotta be careful okay now yeah they had to wheel me out yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you gotta be careful okay now yeah yeah yeah you gotta be careful okay yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you gotta be careful okay now yeah yeah yeah yeah you gotta be careful and i started on a saturday night i had when i had been filming for like tiger peli i'm just kidding this was in 2023 wow and i never went back to that dark place obviously i drank and partied a little bit after that but i never went back to to that thank god but i would feel i was filming like a bunch i did we did this full season two i did the walking dead spin-off in jersey and then i was in toronto doing the uh what we do in the shadows so i was like banging out for like five months and and work-wise because we're contract workers i was always it kept me like in a safe bubble because i never wanted to that up yeah so i would just get locked in on that but then when you finish you know you feel like you deserve a reward so i'm like hey i've been good homie like oh my party yeah yeah and then uh and then i had a gig at the laugh factory in the comedy store and then i got a hotel suite at the andas right right next door the balcony and i'm like oh i'm sick with it and then i started on saturday i kept extending my stay next thing you know tuesday like at whatever 1 p.m they're wheeling me out of there take me to the hospital on me i'm just like i try to tell him like no i'm good because they walked in on me and i was you know supposed to check out dude and i'm like in my robe passed out with my head against the headboard like this my dick's all out and there's drugs and over here and i just wake up and they're standing over me like hey man paramedics are here you know wow what and i told him i said no man i'm good and they were like we gotta we already showed up so you're gonna get charged for this either way so we're gonna take you and then i was like and then you know they found out i had insurance so they like they took me yeah wow crazy that was crazy but i was like okay you know i just had to go with them like you know still and then so my sister was like promise me you're gonna get help you know yeah and then my sister wrote me a letter of how it would play out for each family member if i died it got real you know oh she loves loves you yeah yeah yeah that's the homie right there shout out to my sister she listens to every episode of this podcast so she'll be listening i'm going to be devastated if you died from it what the heck you know i'm just going to let you know it would devastate me yeah yeah it would be tears of despair okay yeah i'm just letting you know homie what what's so funny he's just he's not gonna he's still i know i know the way he looked at me i would be dead my sister listens to this podcast she's definitely gonna cry on that part i love you that much no no i love you too bobby it goes both ways man yeah in fact there's i mean you name me a name i'll tell you if i would be devastated donald trump no oh come on no someone that's in the comedy community oh that's an aa no just in general oh they died tom segura devastated burt kreischer devastated theo vaughn dude that would the level why is this different i'll tell you why the level of devastation i'd be with theo would be the same as frankie's that's the highest devastation yeah yeah it's the same type of feeling that i have toward these people i shouldn't play this game because i don't want to get in trouble it's a weird game yeah it's a weird game yeah imagine if you were like not that not not devastated i can tell you level there's levels of devastation okay right so it's is tom segura below define devastation for you okay i'll i'll okay i'll define devastation okay here's how you define devastation you're playing dying light okay oh yeah yeah okay yeah you get the news yeah yeah how long before you play dying light again all right so i'm playing dying this is good yeah yeah okay and there's a speakerphone so i'm gonna someone's gonna call me yeah so you who's gonna call me yeah okay okay okay you can go come on run run run run run ring ring you're on speaker hey it's me cat who cat what nothing okay uh tom segura uh he actually he passed away immediately turn off turn off what give me a name that we haven't mentioned yet okay okay who called no don't you have to do the dial again hello yeah hi it's me cat okay yeah yeah yeah yeah okay hurry hurry i'm sorry i'm trying okay what are you laughing about what's going on why are you laughing what's crying she's crying frankie what are you doing online all right frankie what's up cat you guys what's up you're not giving me a name that's going to be on the ring ring yeah give me one hey ring yeah yeah yo bobby what's up yeah what's up what are you gonna say it's gilbert is it gilbert yeah what's up okay well your opener died ramsey baddowey oh bobby why are you why are you still hey i have to get to the i have to get to the save point let me get to the save point well hold on hold on what what ramsey what the fuck why are you saying run run run save save save turn it off oh my god what happened yeah yeah yeah there's some people that you wouldn't mention i wouldn't even turn it off at all wow you just play through the tears no there'll be no tears i would like even forget that you said it good no not good okay okay sorry yeah i mean like um like when when brody died that was remember when you told me when brody died yeah i delivered the news poorly sorry that was a poor delivery i did one of these like i woke him up and i was like wake up yeah he's like what yeah and he had a show later on at the irvine improv oh he was taking a nap i was taking a nap yeah but no it wasn't it was 4 p.m he just hadn't woken up yet yeah yeah okay i live i live in a free society yeah where the options are endless you know what i mean that was that was bad that was a bad day that was a so how did you deliver you just poked poked and then i was sleeping like this if it had been like 8 9 a.m i would have been like okay let the man sleep but it's like 4 p.m yeah okay anyway how'd you do it i was sleeping what's up what's up what what time is it 4 p.m it's four why is catbird here no catbird why is this random white person here that i don't even know she lives here now okay anyway um me too frankie what are you doing here last night was fun what the fuck is everyone doing here take a nap what is the right way to deliver any yeah i don't know how to do it wait how did you deliver it yeah can we get that i was like hey like really bad news like so-and-so like passed away and but he was still like yeah yeah dream like you didn't like fully wake him up yet yeah i don't know this is what happened i i remember the day yeah you woke me up i was dead asleep you said it and it took me about five seconds to absorb the information right yeah he did an initial in his sleep what and then he sprung up and he's like what yeah i sprung up and then i had a third what and the third what was tears yeah of devastation fuck man yeah yeah yeah i don't think there is that one and then you canceled your show that night i did yeah yeah i think a lot a lot of people did right i don't know if there is a good way to give that kind of news there isn't there's no is there a funny way to do it there's just oh there's bits there's for sure hey so uh hey bud oh god knock knock yeah oh yeah because that's what the cops do it right they go knock knock guess who's dead who's there yeah yeah not your kid yeah oh wow the worst is like in military movies where they where the mother looks out the window and they see the people come and they see the military people with the flag thing and then they collapse was that saving private ryan she collapsed oh god it's devastating and then four kids died in that right she had four sons that died and the fifth one is come on back me up i think we're all trying to move on from back me up yeah four died yeah yeah jesus what it's a death thing is real sad but this comic this podcast goes to different areas don't die don't die don't die let's not die man we're good yeah but yeah it's good not to die but thanks for saying that because i yeah yeah yeah but it just to your point though like i was such in a dark clouded space that i would like if i was doing like a bunch of blow and all that like between lines and stuff because i was isolating i would put the drugs back in the drawer and close the drawer and like kind of be tidy between lines even though i was doing a line every fucking 20 minutes just in case i died like people wouldn't walk in on just drugs everywhere wow like which is crazy that's crazy dude i know it's it's insane it's also at the height of things happening yeah i'm in my own fucking you're killing house like fucking but you're killing it you're doing all these tv shows yeah right and to do that is crazy it's insane it's insane yeah but now you're able to enjoy the special yeah i recorded i recorded the special sober i prepared for it sober did your family go sober yeah yeah oh who my mom my dad my sister yeah really proud i'm sorry i'm so sorry you don't have to cover your mouth i was getting emotional dude you know what fuck everyone come on come on bob come on man fucking shit dude you don't mean that it looked like a fake cry or it looks like you're making fun of me day in day out i've become real you look like you're sneezing yeah it was like oh fuck you no i didn't do it like that that's my mom and dad and my sister no no no no i wasn't going fuck you catbird no i was like going oh were they proud yes my sister even brought like a little cake that had a picture old picture of her and i when we were kids on the cake yeah we had it after in the green room it was dope man she's she's like the heart of the family my sister but yeah and then my mom and dad were like pretty emotional because i got pretty vulnerable in the special specifically towards the end yeah yeah and it was like yeah congratulations right right yeah exactly like that do more spanish do it do more spanish i'm just throwing the net yeah yeah la escuela amigo as we're crying the school the school i mean my if my dad went the school son that'd be weird yeah you're right is your mom gonna be at your film taping no because she doesn't understand what it is i don't think she i don't think she would want to be there where are you taping it have you asked san diego oh yeah i don't think she'll understand her son performing in front of a lot of cameras with an amazing crowd i don't think she'll understand her son performing in front of a lot of cameras with an amazing crowd I know but we brought her to this Phoenix show like 4,000 seats. She came up a station. She ran off She got the one ever want to do that. You know, I mean like she doesn't well, yeah, I brought her on stage No, but you know my mom like, you know when I'm performing I've I've seen her in the audience and she's like, you know I mean playing you know, I mean trigger you solitaire on our iPad She's not paying attention. Yeah, she's not into it No, but she's probably proud but like, okay, he's so proud Bobby's doing that thing But also Koreans are more monetary like they're more like, you know, I mean like my son's doing well because I'm getting this check every month Right. It's just a way of expression of me taking care of they the oldest Korean son taking care of the family I'm already doing that. So there's always there's always pride in that you know, I mean, but in terms of like What the art she doesn't really fully understand like joke structure or you know, any of that kind of stuff. Yeah, but I know that you know She's proud of me It's funny just picturing her sitting in a full crowd of like 3,000 4,000 people just dying of laughter and her just sitting there like playing on her phone. Just like yeah, I'm like proud though Like when we did bad friends in Vegas, we flew her in you know, I mean and you know Nice hotel. I mean, so she she she gets the benefits of it. And also, um, You know, I've been a good son for the last 25 years I've sent her like Every month I send her a check And she saves it and it's it with her Social Security and the check. She's living a really comfortable life. Oh, yeah I mean, I mean like she saves it like she doesn't deposit it Oh Yeah Yeah, so, you know, do you have family members asking for money for sure And just homies that I'm like Little League with or, yeah. Little League. It's crazy. It's crazy. There was this guy that I used to have a mad crush on when I was in high school. And then a couple years ago, he hit me up on Facebook asking if I could pay for his dental bill. Ever notice how life's best stories don't happen in your living room? They happen on the open road, out on the water, or parked under the stars. At Progressive, they get that you want to focus on the experience, not worry about the what-ifs. That's why they offer quality insurance designed for your ride, whether that's a boat, RV, or motorcycle. Adventure with confidence. Visit Progressive.com and see how easy it is to protect your favorite way to get away. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Not available in D.C. Prices vary based on how you buy. Whoa. Yeah, that's crazy. Did you? No. Did you? Do you have bad teeth? But he was talking about how, like, his teeth were rotting and he was just trying to turn his life around. Oh, my God. You're like, send me photos. He was banking on the fact that I had a huge crush on him back in the day. So he probably was just like, let me, yeah, yeah, old shit. Like, hey, I always thought you were so pretty, you know, like, can you pay for my teeth? That's creepy as hell. But if he had, like, gross teeth, you'd be like, ew, I don't know about that. Right. But, you know, they come out. Yeah, they come out. Well, first of all, they think I have bad teeth. They think I have more money than I do, you know? But then second is, like. Do they give you, like, a specific amount? Yeah, sometimes they'll give me a specific amount. And I will. What's the most amount they've asked? I think $15,000. Oh, yeah. That's a lot. That's a lot. Yeah. Yeah, I've gotten that, too. That's, like, the most, though, usually. Yeah, yeah. And sometimes they just say, hey, I need help. Some people I will break off, but I'll always be like, all right, check it out. I'm going to give you this money, but, like, I don't want to hear from you until you have my money back. Or if you want to just pay me, like, $100 a month back, whatever. And then, sadly, most of those people, you never hear from them again. I know. Sorry. Yeah. What was the $15,000 for? What was that? Yeah, it was, like, I don't know. He was going through a divorce, and da-da-da, and he lost the house to the wife, and he didn't have his job. And, you know, it was the whole story. I don't know how much of it was true, though, but, you know, I was like, bro, I don't. Yeah. I have one. So I have one that's, I have to be very careful. But, so I was talking to a family member about this other family member. So I'll just say family number one is the one I was talking to, and the family number two is going to be the one that's going to ask me for money. So family number one was like. Makeup names. What? Makeup names. All right, so family number one was like, hey, Tony. Hey, Tony Lee. Hey, Tony Lee. Bob and Tony. Yeah. Yeah. So Tony, he's just got no motivation. He has no jobs. He has no aspirations. He's really doing nothing, right? Is he lazy? Lazy. Yeah. You know, he just has a fear of, like, getting rejected. Oh, he's depressed. No, dude. He's a lot of childhood trauma. Lazy. Drama. Yeah. So then, literally, so I'm talking to number one. Then 10 minutes later, out of the blue, Tony. He calls me, who I haven't even talked to in 25 years, calls me and goes, hey, man. So I'm doing pretty good. I'm starting a business. I just need a little money, cash up front. I go, how much do you need? He goes, 15 grand. Wow. Then I go. Same number. Yeah. Do you know what I said? I go, so-and-so just called me and told me that you're smoking weed all day long. You have no motivations. You have no plans. And he goes, did he call you? Did he call you? And I go, yeah, they called. He goes, okay, then never mind. I feel so bad about it. You're about to buy so much weed. Why'd you do that? Oh, you think I should give him the 15 grand? I don't know. But why'd you say, you could have just been like, hey, dude, not right now. Why'd you be like, hey, so-and-so was talking to me. Because I don't like the trickery. No. He's lying to him. He's lying to me. Yeah. And also, like, I have given family members money to start a business. Oh, we know. You know that? We know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. George, Gilbert, we know. We know, right? I don't know. Do you know Frankie? What? What? Oh, no. Oh, I don't know his story, but I know the story. Yeah. Oh, investment. My rule is this. I'll give you two one time. You can always ask one time. And it's got to be reasonable. What's reasonable? What's the range? If it's a deep family member. I think the top ten. But with a reason. Okay. And with a business plan. Not just a business plan. Like, dude, if I know, you know, I have three kids. I lost my job. Yeah, yeah. I can't pay my mortgage. I'm drowning. Yeah. Then yes, one time. If it's, yeah, if it's a close family member. I've helped out close family members. That's my rule, too. If there are kids involved, for me, it's probably the best. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I get a lot of people I haven't talked to in 25 years. And I don't like that because it's like, yeah, you know, you don't have a relationship with me. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I do something a little bit different because I have family in the Philippines. And I clearly like send money all the time. I don't send money directly to the parents anymore. I pay for the kids school. Yeah, that's a good one. Like whatever the kids need, I'll pay for myself. I'll get the receipt from the school. So I'm not dealing with the parents bullshit anymore. Right, right. It's like when a homeless person asks for money and you're like, I'll just get you food. So you know they're going to eat. No, let's talk about that for a second. Bobby has a very different take on it. I have a different philosophy when it comes to that. Oh, for food? No, for homeless people. Oh, okay. What's going on? No, no, I was just. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just flowing, huh? A what? Yeah. A what? A what? A what? Yeah. Do you give homeless people money? You know, I used to, a lot. And then I would like feel good about it. Like, oh, I'm helping. Yeah, yeah. But when I lived in, you know, off La Brea and Sunset in that area, my move was socks and toothbrushes. So I always had a, I always, I would order like a box from Amazon, like a box of socks or toothbrushes. And then every now and then if I was walking to the store or whatever, I would just bring a bag and then just pass them out, you know? Oh, that's cool. That's awesome. Yeah, that's a good thing. And then there was a dude, man. I still think about this dude, man. He was always on the corner right there behind the bus stop in a wheelchair. And he had like a little pile of his stuff around him. Was it socks and toothpaste? He would always ask me for a cigarette, right? So he was the one dude that I would get cigarettes and a lighter for. I don't smoke. Yeah. But I would just get them for him. And he couldn't even talk. He would just be like, mm, mm, mm. You know, so I don't know if, I'm assuming he was saying thank you, whatever. What if he was saying some racist Hispanic thing? Thanks a lot, Beaner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, oh my goodness. Yeah, yeah, no. But yeah, I always wonder what happened to that guy. And then one day he was just gone. He was there for like a long ass time, a couple years. Oh, no. Yeah, I know. Tragedy. I'm like, yeah. My theory is this. Okay. Anyways, positive vibes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bobby's like, I took him. No, I give cash. Oh, that's sad. Right? And I don't care what they get with it. Oh, man. Because at the end of the day, it's just like, it's just going to make them happy. They've already made their choices. I don't know. I mean, you know, they could. To me, I don't even want to know. Here's 20, right? They could be buying drugs. But they also could be buying Taylor Swift tickets. For $20? $20? Nosebleed. Yeah, yeah. No, not a bit. Yeah, I don't know. Mailer myth tickets. Yeah, yeah. You know? So it's like, it's not, you know, whatever you get with it, but just as long as you're happy. I actually agree with you. Thank you. Yeah, it took a while for me to get there. But I really like that. Because it's like, they're like, oh, they're going to use it. They're going to use it on drugs. It's like, they're going to, whether it's you or someone else, they're going to use it on something else. They're going to steal a radio to get it. I mean, you know? A radio? Like, they'll break into a car and steal something. Oh. But who do you think they'll remember longer? The dude that gave them money for more drugs or the dude that gave them a nice warm pair of socks? Socks guy. I don't know, dude. Think about it. Think about it. I'm your drug dealer, right? When you were using. And I brought you socks instead of cocaine. No. Think about that. How would you feel? That's different, though. Play it out. You're talking about the dealer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think you'd be happy. How is it different? How is it different? No, because I'm going to my drug dealer. I'm going to get drugs. I mean, you give me socks? What the fuck? If it's just some random dude that comes up to me and gives me socks, that's different. But I know. But they don't want socks. Yes, they do. Would they rather have alcohol or socks? And you know what? You know what? I think I'm wrong. I'm assuming. No, I know. I know. I'm assuming that all homeless people are on some sort of chemical dependence. Yeah. That's what I'm assuming. And that's wrong. Yeah. Maybe like 70, 30. I think higher. 90, 10. Mental illness, too. I mean, that's a big one. That's a big one. Yeah. So what? Down on your luck. Yeah. You're right. I think, no, there's a lot of people that have lost their job. They're living out of their cars or they're living in an RV park. and stuff like that, I get that tense. not saying that although those people are um substance abusers but generally the ones that ask for money i can tell that it's you know i mean and when i know that they're on some sort of substance abuse i have no problem giving them money is all i'm saying oh interesting okay i don't one thing i always think about that you told me though even like today or you know now if i think about thoughts of drinking or whatever you're like career you know we have our careers and then there's like partying and like you just we you can't have both you know so i'm always like that thought of sometimes crosses my head when i'd be like ah drink sounds nice hey homie you can't have both you want to do this you want to do that you can't have both if you're a a drug addict or alcoholic exactly that's what i mean yeah yeah yeah yeah if you're a drug alcoholic yeah i should clarify if you're a normal person then yeah kudos to fucking you asshole because you look at you look at the history of anybody with that like robert downey jr right his career took off you know i mean once he got sober yeah yeah you know i mean riley cooper yeah so it's like i just don't think that you can be active addiction especially in this specific business i think all businesses but in this specific business it's almost impossible yeah i remember the conversation we had um the last time you got sober do you remember that when you were like i just need a couple more i just need a couple more months of using and i was like okay let's go get shabu-shabu remember i do not remember because you're using your high out of your mind and i was like i was like i have you know so-and-so's number here you know the place you like to go to what do you mean what place in arizona what's shabu-shabu oh the mental place soup oh yummy yeah yeah okay all right it's a clean it's a very clean meal it's very clean yeah yeah so we were on our way there and then um wow he's high as fuck you're driving he's high all right yeah and he i was like okay like how much how much longer of this and he's like i don't know i don't know i just don't i i know when i'm i i will let you know when i'm done i know i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it get to a point where i'll know i'm done right i'm like scary okay i was like scary thing to say but then we ate shabu-shabu and on our drive back he was like okay i think i'm done why um i i think that you had lost quite a bit at that point yeah and then um going there you were like fuck no i'm not getting sober and then on your way back you had some light bulb go off where i was shocked and i was like oh my god i'm not getting sober and then on your way back you not only did you say okay i'm going on saturday because i was like hey this appointment i made for you they're they're they're ready to take you on saturday if you're not ready don't go but if you're ready let me know i'll buy your plane ticket and on the way back he's like okay i'll go it was within a span of an hour and a half which made me think that like i hope i don't know what happened in your brain during that shabu-shabu period but something like click i've always been like that though every time i'm using it's it i can shift my thinking i can have a quick spiritual awakening or you know i mean or uh do you remember it at that time that you're feeling it or i i know the feeling it's like you know i mean i i contemplate everything okay what okay i can ask you what your relapses look like like what do you use just alcohol just alcohol and weed yeah but the alcohol he's funny grandpa it's not a whiskey bottle what do you mean we're talking clamados like a real korean man no but like he's like in a hotel room fireball those fireballs i would buy like 30 of those little fireballs and just and then he's like getting banned from but he's getting banned from hotels because of you know he's you know like i was i was breaking shit in the hotel no i was on a i was on a tv show right and you know how the actors stay at a hotel yeah and then they the hotel called the producers and go he's banned from the fucking hotel because why and then and then now the producers are calling me going what's up dude right yeah and i'm like oh fuck you know i mean it's like those situations where i'm like this is not good because they'll get around wait why were you were you breaking shit in the hotel you're having no i was i haven't told i told this story i was i was at a hotel okay i'll just say it right i was at a hotel i was on the balcony and um peeing off the balcony no no i was in the balcony and i stuck i stuck my head out of the hotel because at this particular hotel there was only two rooms with a balcony and they happened to be the darkest point of his life what you doing homie okay okay you're on the balcony go back to this guy dude all right yeah yeah oh yeah be positive dude balcony okay better yeah so this balcony is literally where the kids the where the kids um swimming pool is oh right so i didn't i couldn't be literally if i was out there smoking a bong everyone just on these slides and stuff like that so i stuck my head out of the like the the hotel and i would just stick my head out of this you know and he's like hanging off the balcony yeah yeah yeah speaking right and i and i hear hey you can't smoke here what are you doing and i look up and there's a fat guy like like five stories up with his head sticking out looking down on me it's yelling i go fuck you you fat fuck oh but he was the manager of the hotel right and then that immediately they call hey did you call the hotel guy a fat fuck fat fuck oh you smoking weed i go yeah that's the hotel guy yeah yeah yeah yeah and you know i mean those little incidents little they accumulate yeah and you poo yourself i poo myself all the time oh yeah and like oh yeah yeah i got i got a the cop my mom called the cops on me when i was at the i was at the hollywood roosevelt hotel for pooing yourself no i know you're shitting yeah that was all bad yeah what she knew you were doing up there yeah she knew i was there yeah yeah but to that note though i said i would hate seeing people you know i was isolating but i was like hate seeing people in public when they recognize me when you're talking about being on a tv show yeah yeah and i remember i went down to meet the dope man again downstairs and there was this family in the lobby i'm talking like kids like 10 and 12 and they were like hey can we get photos and i'm like tweaked out homie i've been slept for two days yeah i'm just like fuck you know that feeling you know you're just like taking the picture like all right thanks for watching my show it's like fuck i'm like so glad i don't have to do that anymore yeah yeah yeah wow but yeah and the cops showed up oh it was bad at the end of that one but yeah you know the house of pies on los filas yeah i love oh yeah i love that spot when i was detoxing off of vicodin right i just remember eating soup because i hadn't eaten in days were you constipated from the vicodin no i was i had i quit doing it okay and i was like day two detox and i just remember people were staring at me and i have a bowl of minestrone soup it's so funny sorry right and i'm shaking so bad that the spoon is hitting the bowl so loud like because i couldn't control my hand yeah right and at that point people kind of knew who i was too and i'm looking around you don't know shaking but i had to eat because i hadn't eaten in days you know i mean and it's just like that that was embarrassing but remember that one time i was coughing up blood and then you said take me to the doctor so then i took him to the doctor but then okay more context more context yeah he called me i'm not kidding you every 10 minutes and he was like i think i'm dying there's something really wrong with me and he would he was in this loop that he was dying because he was like coughing up blood i was like okay let's go to the doctor and at the doctor he was like kalilah i swear to you with my whole life that if i get a clean bill of health oh shut up i know i know where you're going at this and that's fucking bullshit let me stop stop sorry sorry whatever you brought it up i see the road you brought it i see the road and i don't like the road we all see the road yeah yeah if this isn't cancer i promise you i swear with my whole life that i will never pick up a vape or cigarette again and then um it wasn't cancer because of what i realized what i deduced okay balcony balcony balcony all right what i deduced is this i was smoking so much weed yeah right the conjunction with the bong heads and the fucking joints along with smoking cigarettes was what caused the lung disturbance yeah irritation after not smoking for a long time or not smoking weed for a long time yeah i was doing it how long i mean Did you see the collection I had? I had a collection of hundreds of weeds. It was crazy. Hundreds of weeds. He said it like that too. Hundreds of weeds. I think he would take up to a thousand milligrams of edible. You're taking edibles too. On top of smoking weed 24-7. Where you would see him walking in the living room and then stop and he would freeze and stay there for like five minutes. Did you like doing the edibles though? Oh, I love it all. I had 17 years of sobriety and the first time I took edibles after 17 years of sobriety I was flying to Hawaii, remember? And when I landed in Hawaii I just did a 45 minute laugh attack. Dude, imagine 17 years of not doing it. I land in Hawaii, I go and I just couldn't even I don't know what I was laughing at. But I had so much fun that weekend in Hawaii by myself, just taking smoking weed, edibles, walking around and just eating, engorging and going, oh, this is what I missed. But then three months later it becomes the opposite. Something else. Something else, yeah. Anyway, do you have fun? Yeah, it was a wild ride. Yeah. I thought it was a good ride. Yeah, no, in a good way, I mean. I thought it was a pleasant. We talked about, you know, positive vibes. What's going on with This Fool? Is it just. Yeah, just two seasons. Genuinely, one of my favorite shows. I couldn't believe it got canceled. I know, it's so crazy. And so many people love it. I know. On Rotten Tomatoes, yeah. I know, it's crazy. Like, people are like, the people that, like, the fans of it are like, they can't believe it ended, you know? So, yeah, I don't know. I mean, there's a small hope maybe it'll come back. What happened? Yeah, they canceled it, man. I mean, everybody at Hulu wanted it, but Disney. Disney did, like, a lot of budget cuts around that time, like, after the strike. And we were just, like, another number, you know? And, like, so it was just like, yeah. So funny, so good. It was a beloved show. Is there a possibility that Disney is going to cancel it? Do you believe it coming back at all? I mean, you know, anything's possible. It's possible, but, yeah. Who knows? That'd be dope. I know, it makes me think about shows, what is it, Twin Peaks or Arrested Development? Like, they got popular after they got canceled. And they did another season. I did that one, the second time they did it. Oh, that's what's up. What do you mean? I'd be like, hey, congratulations. That's cool. That's what's up? That's what's up. Yeah. Good thing. That's definitely a good thing. All right, homie. Yeah. Interesting. Is there a, that's what's down? What's that? No, no. I mean, try, like. Just try it naturally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what's down. Oh, that's actually sound good. Yeah, I like what you're saying. When you do it, it sounds good. Yeah. When I do it, it's not good. Yeah, try it. Try it to him, casually, like. All right. Hey, I'm probably going to go get some nice dinner later. Yeah. That's what's down. No. No. Yeah. Hey, that's what's down. Oh, there you go. That's. I don't know. Oh, there he is. Hey, bro. That's what's down. Better? That's what's up. That's what's up. That's what's up. There you go. That's what's in the middle, bro. Oh, there you go. Was that better? Go, like, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Equalize it, bro. That's what's in the middle. Yeah, that's what's in the middle, dude. Yeah, yeah. What does that mean? I don't know, dude. It's right there. Even kill, you know? Even kill, dude. Yeah. Like the meat in a sandwich, you know? Why do Hispanics love Asians so much? You can't say. Oh, Latinos. Yeah. Yeah. Latins. Latinos. Why is Hispanic bad? It's Hispanic. It's Hispanic, you know? All right. There's no Hispania. All right. It's like, you know? Yeah. Like, you're an Asian man. You're from Asia, you know? How about white people? I mean, come on. Oh, fight for that. No, I'm just saying. Poor white people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what? Can't fight for it. No, no, no. I'm not fighting. I want to hear your white grievances. No, I'm just saying there's no white land. You said that there's Asia land. Your skin color is white. Yeah. It is interesting. That's reductive. What? That's so reductive. Yeah, it is interesting. I can call you a white person. Yeah. But can I call you a brown person? Yeah. All the time. Brown pride. Brown pride. Could you call me a yellow person? No. Why? That's interesting. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm actually brown, homie. You're like, you're not really. You're white, actually. I think East Asians are like whiter. Dude, dude, if this color was in the crayon box, it would be tan. Yeah, it would be. But look at him. Yeah, his is brown. Mine's more tan. This isn't yellow. Yeah, I know. Just look at the sun. That's what you're saying. We're green. I don't know where that comes from. I don't know. Yeah, okay. I have no idea. What does that mean? What does that mean? What does that mean? But why can't you call it brown? Why can't white? And then yellow, why? Because you're not yellow. Yeah. Oh, I see. Black and yellow, black and yellow. But, you know, it's like. Cool. I like, are you, is anyone out there being like yellow pride? Yeah, yellow pride. Some, some, there are. Yeah, yeah. Like gay pride, but yellow. As a joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like. What's black and yellow, black and yellow? What is that? Is that a song? It's a song. It's for the Steelers, I think, right? Black and yellow. It's Jet. Wiz Khalifa. It's Wiz Khalifa. Wiz Khalifa, okay. It's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's up? Yeah. Okay, so is, is, is Hispanic like if you call me an Oriental? No. It's not that bad. Look, look, look. It's more of like, I'm not the only one who feels that way about the word, but I'm not like offended by Hispanic. I just don't, you're just like a good, you're one of my good friends, you know, so I don't want my good homie doesn't need to be calling me Hispanic, you know what I mean? All right, homie. All right. We're not doing a consensus or like a, you know what I mean? Like a data process. Yeah, yeah. All right, right. But I don't even look at your race. Oh, yeah, yeah, right. That's what white people do. I don't, all my homies. I don't even look at your race. Yeah, I don't, all my homies are the one that definitely looks at race. I don't even look at your race, man. Let me clarify. Are you talking about homies? La escuela. All right. Okay. That's so funny. What I'm saying is, is that, you know, if I'm around Al Madrigal, I don't think to myself, I'm hanging out with my, you know, Latin friend, Latino friend, you know what I mean? I just, it's just, Al, when I look at you, I just Frankie, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And in the comedy space, we lean on these things for entertainment, right? But in real life, I don't. I don't think about it. And you know, that's the truth. Are you sure? I don't think so. I think you're right. Yeah. I think when you think about me, I think when you think about me in your head, you're like, oh yeah, Frankie. Hey, George, who's our guest? Oh, it's a, yeah, you know, the homie. We have a couple of witnesses in the room. There's Gilbert. There's Gilbert, EJ, Kat, and Alex were at your birthday party. We went bowling. Oh, God. And you made a speech. And one of the first things you said was, Chappelle Lacey, you're the only black guy here. Yeah. And then no, nothing else. Yeah. See, that's what I'm saying. He did say, you're the only black guy here. That's good. You said, that's good. And then you moved on to the rest of your speech. No, because I was just, no, I would, no, here's the thing. My speech, my speech, I was just, no, let me express myself, right? I was just pointing out factual information. True. Okay. I said, there are open micers here, too. Welcome, Ramsey, Badawi, and Catbird. That's me, yeah. Did I say that? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You didn't call me white. Yeah, yeah. But my point being is, is that it's also, the whole speech was about making it weird and uncomfortable. And was it not funny? It was fantastic. It was great. Well, then I did my job. Yeah. So for you to call that out is ridiculous to me. I apologize. Sorry. You're right. Okay. All right. Yeah. It was comedic, you know? But in general, I think minorities, like when I walk into a room, I'm looking around to see if there's other minorities. I clock it, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I always clock it. You and I did that at the Hulu thing. Oh, yeah. Do you remember? Yeah. In New York? Oh, yeah. You and I hung out a little bit. Oh, yeah. You were like a lifeline there. I hate doing those events. Yeah, we plumbed together and we just sat there. I know it's the worst. Yeah. And I was like, Bobby, come here. Let's go to the corner. We went to the corner and we were like, yeah, look at all these whites. Yeah, I know. They're giving us money, though, so be cool with them. It's also like you can tell that the show. With the shirt talkers. Yeah. Whoa, what a fabulous turnout. Bro, you have to do this at parties. Wonderful, wonderful. Such a unique voice you have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We love your point of view. It's enlightening. I hate it. And him and I are just going. They talk like that all the time. And we're like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." We don't know what to say. - Thanks for the opportunity. for letting us in here for letting us in here you know what I mean for letting us in here even though we're doing specials for this party yeah yeah helping them maybe the whole reason why this party exists is because we're doing it yeah yeah yeah exactly yeah it's the worst hello stay there and be grateful yeah yeah but um so your special Frankie Quinones what's it called Quinones Quin Quin Quinones he never says my last name right damn that's crazy Quinones Quin no Quinones think about the yo Quinones Quinones yeah perfect Quinones perfect nice it has a little wormy don't forget yeah yeah a little wormy potato patato yeah no damn that's crazy Hulu go check it out hilarious stand up special he's oh look at Andrews is there too yeah yeah his was last month yeah last month yeah white noise one a month one a month and check it out because he's one of my favorite people in the whole world and he's I just think that you're gonna get bigger bigger opportunities because there's no one out there like you and please check it out he's our family member he's our homie he's our friend and support his podcast his special I mean on Hulu damn that's crazy hey if you go watch Creepers Crib it's on YouTube it's called Creepers Crib live from my grandpa's garage and then just go to FrankieQuinones.com hopefully I'll come to your city soon thanks for having me all right so give frankie a round of applause