Frank Caliendo Becomes Everyone! | Whiskey Ginger

Welcome to whiskey ginger a wave series. Hey, hey, I'm jumping around. Come see me. I'm going to be up in Canyonville, Oregon, February 14th. Then in March 14th, just one month later, the bad friends, Bobby Lee and I are going to be over at Lincoln, California, which is basically sacramento. Then at the win casino, I'm playing Vegas, Viva Las Vegas, March 21st, March 27th. I'm going to be in Providence, Rhode Island at the Little Rody Fest, then April 3rd. I am going back to the board, God, and Atlantic City, to that makeup date because of the weather. And finally, bad friends are playing Netflix is a joke fest at the YouTube theater here in Los Angeles, California on May 8th. Go to Andrewsantino.com for those tickets. Andrewsantino.com. Ginger's our hell knows. Whiskey news. Excellent. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to whiskey ginger. I guess there's one of my favorite people on earth. I said that for all my guests, but I mean, once again, today, it is Frank Caliendo. And you have to say with an accent. Yeah, but apparently at the beginning of the car, you went Caliendo. Well, Chicago, okay. Caliendo. Frank Caliendo over there. You know, Frank Caliendo. It's fantastic. He was on his way. He was on his way to Armon's Peaches with adopted River Road ad dogs. Who's he doing over there? I have no idea. That's what I was saying. He spent most of the time. Well, his brother, his brother's ex-girlfriend was working across the street there. That's what I heard. Yeah, she was. She died. She did. She died. Nobody tells me anything. Well, I'm sorry. You don't get those phone calls no more, but you know why? Because when you move, you know, you move, where are you out of? You're now like an edgewater. I'm in Elwood Park. Oh, you are. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What? That's all right. Just across, just across from the circle over there. Oh, you're right next to it. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Yeah. Good for you guys. Look, you know where the park is? Sorry to cut you off. Yeah. But you know where the park is, right? Of course. There just like two streets over in it's us and you're just right there. Oh, okay. Yeah. I know that. Yeah. Frankie's son was there for a month and a half. No, no, no, no. I think you're thinking of the other side. Oh, no. I'll put our side of the street. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Frank Calleando, what a pleasure to have on the show. Thank you for coming to the show. I love the speed of your intro. I have to get through it really fast. Why is that? Just because everybody doesn't care. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. Which is the name of my of my new tour. Nobody cares. Already taken. I've been doing it. I've been doing I've done three of those. No, stop it. Yeah. No, I yeah. It's a pleasure to have you on the show. We met in Las Vegas. We were in in a suite at the Palms at an after party, uh, which had a basketball court inside of the hotel. Did you play at all? When I was a kid. No, but I mean there. Oh, I shot a couple times and then the young guys took over. You can't get in their way. No. The guys in their 20s. They really wanted a hoop. And I, and I'm just an old foggy. Now I can hold on. I'm sorry. This is good. Am I, is the mic okay? Where it is? I feel like it should be closing right now. No, no. Oh, you got me great. So I just, but if you want me to fuck with it, I can do that. No, and don't edit that. Just I want people to see how rude I am. You're in the middle of the story. No, no, I do like it. Well, the mic we did this. We put it at a position where if you move, it moves. Well, it's that thing where people tell you to get real close to the mic and eat the mic all the time. And then I don't have to eat the mic here. You don't have to. Yours looks closer. So I started to worry. We want to hide his face. We don't want to hide you. Correct. Come on, we don't have to be honest. No, but that is very, it's very, very true. A lot of times the comments are, hey, could Santino not be on the show and just speak to the guest from off camera? Like it's a documentary. Really? Oh, yeah. Most of our fans, nobody looks, everybody looks to the side. They'd prefer it. Yeah, they'd prefer it. There's a guy named Vlad TV. You know, Vlad Vlad only does interviews like that where he's not on camera. Very smart. So interesting. Well, it works. And it gets, but oh my god, they get millions of you. And that hits the algorithm. Yeah, I think it's people, his voice doesn't sound like what he looks like. Oh, yeah. So I think it's an interesting twist. A lot of like hip hop gossip. A lot of hip hop gossip. Oh, that's what you're big into. Yeah, yeah. What is your musical taste? Well, let's get back. I don't have one. I may be classic rock might be like, what's your band of bands? I say, I don't know. I know a little bit of music, but like in high school, I wasn't into music. So I started faking it. So I started getting like jukebox kind of songs. Like it was like, everything was Steve Miller band. Yeah. And a lot of journey thrown. There was, yeah, trying to think what else the Eagles. Yeah, then I had friends who are like really into like up and coming grunge to like Saigon kick the lizard. Whoa, their CD. Wow. Yeah, it was like weird, like weird stuff. If somebody else got into something, I would pretend that I was kind of into it, too, because I knew nothing about music. I do like, I'm not going to see a Billy Joel concert. Yeah, he's good. I'll tell you this about Billy Joel. You know him personally. No, I don't. I know. I'll tell you this about just seeing him from afar. Okay. He has so much fun on stage. Yeah. I've never seen anything like it. I've never seen anybody who entertains outside of comedy. Somebody who has that much fun just messing around and is that good at it. Like a lot of time you see a band and the lead singer wants to be a comedian the whole time. Oh, we know all these bands. We've seen these bands many times. And it's the opposite. A lot of comedians want to be a rock and roll. 100 percent. But he is so good at just from top to bottom, just weaving in and out, changing words. And there's like I always thought I was thought impressions were a cheat code. You know, there's there's a there's a cheat code to an impression. But there's an even bigger cheat code to musical comedy. Oh, yeah. Because when you can strum the guitar in between the jokes, you can play as we're coming up, I'm assuming you do this too. You play like colleges or something like that. You play the lunchroom at noon. Oh, yeah. And nobody's listening. No people are just trying to figure out, you know, how to shut you up and get the TV volume back on. But you can strum that guitar and fill the silence. Oh, yeah. It's a great tool. Yeah. So people have done it with the piano a little bit too. Yeah. But the guitar is just so great, because you can just go into a little riff and then you can rhyme something. And if you can rhyme something in a voice that sounds like somebody with a puppet now. Now you're doing it. Now you're hitting strides. There is a little trick. There is a little magician's trick to it all, right? Like even in comedy year, people's beats, you know, like, and this isn't a negative thing, but there are everyone has their bag of tricks. And like, like Sebastian has a very rhythmic beat to the way he does his comedy, right? Or like, you know, it's like, we all find our little trick that helps the way that we write jokes. And musicians do the exact same thing. Yeah. And one thing I've seen and it is like playing music. It's like playing. I talk. This is somebody I did talked about at Michael Booblay. Name drop. Boobzie. Boobzie. He talked about how he pulls from lots of different famous singers to get his sound. He's like a chameleon that guy. Yeah. Yeah. He really does great impressions. Yeah. He's, you hear sometimes when he sings, I can't tell that that's Michael Booblay. Do you know what I mean? Like, if, um, uh, if it's a Christmas song, you got a chance. Well, yeah, but that's about it. Okay. But if Celine Dion is singing, I know it's Celine Dion. Right. Like Michael Booblay is a kind of guy where I'm like, he can do 10 different versions. Because he knows how to, he can sing in different songs. How'd you get in hooked up with him on the TikTok, believe it or not. I said something to him on TikTok. I just, uh, I just left a comment going to see you in Vegas with my, uh, wife and daughter and my mother-in-law. And he, he said, is this really you or something? I think it was verified. And then he's like, do you want to come up and do something? So we do the, he, we go to the show. I don't tell my family at all. We're there in the crowd. We've got pretty good seats, really good seats. We actually got moved to the seats where he could talk to me. And in the middle of the show, he starts to an Elvis, right? And he goes, listen, I'm not a great, I can't do a great Elvis. I'm not, I'm no Frank Caliendo. My family looks around my kid. My daughter's like, like, what do you think he does? And my wife goes, do you think he does that? Every time I go, I don't know. I don't know. I'm kind of like nervous. Is that the moment he's going to do? And then he dedicates a song to Juliet, my daughter in the audience. And my wife goes, you didn't. Yeah, kind of did. Did you go on stage? I didn't go on stage. He just came out to me and I did some Morgan Freeman with him. It was funny because he had me do Morgan Freeman and he's kind of a guy's guy too. Yeah. So he's, most of his audience is, it's a lot of women. A lot of ladies. A lot of, a lot of ladies. He's a lady killer that guy. He is. Yeah. And some boy. Yeah. Tremendous. But he had me, he had me do the Morgan Freeman. I don't remember if he had me do some matters. I mean, but then he had me do some Trump. And like, it, I was kind of like the audience wasn't sure how that, like, that wasn't like the Trump crowd. It wasn't exactly what we're talking about. And I did a quiet trip. The one where it almost looks like in my venture on the quest. And he said, don't do it. You don't say otherwise. You just say, am I talking right now? Am I not talking? Give me something to drink. I can drink. I'm going to drink. I'm one of the best of this. A drink. Well, I'm talking to him. Trump would try that. Oh, yeah. He would talk while he's drinking. But he wouldn't be able to. But he's claimed them the best and the best. It's I'm the best at talking with the drink. I talk with the drink and the best and the whiskey ginger. There's a lot of paper that end the whiskey ginger and they whiskey. They would they would have - I try to do a different Trump than what everybody else does. - A lot of people's Trumps are up here. - That's the common one that's in the high one. - Where he does this in your piece of crap. - But if he goes down. - Little piggy. - No, you're a little piggy. - Yeah, it's that pushy. - Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great. - Yeah, but you do the-- - Such as a decent thing, different. - Something low, something like that. - And we spoke to him and we didn't like anything I was saying, and that's what it is. - Have you always done impressions? - No. - Yeah, maybe. - I'm okay, I think it was-- - We're better than okay. I've seen what you do and I've seen more and more 'cause then I see something and then it shows up in the algorithm. - Sure, yeah. - And I try not to watch a lot of impressions 'cause I don't want to be influenced by how somebody else does something. - See, that's my biggest. So my thing was always like, I do more impressions of people I've met versus people that are famous. That was like the Chicago thing. Or if I do another accent, it's someone I've met or something I've heard and it's stuck in me. - Well, that how, I mean, but the thing is, it's probably 'cause you haven't met as many of the people you could do, you have thought to do an impression. - Maybe, some of them, I mean-- - Because once you meet somebody, it unlocks something. There is a thing and that's, I did a sketch with Trump maybe 20 years ago at Trump Tower, dressed as Trump, and like we're just, you know, doing the stuff and my Trump has changed since then, but he's, his voice has changed. - Totally. - He's, he does less of that one now. He still does it where he does the power through, but-- - They quiet when she was a bloomer 'cause they haven't slept. (laughing) - What did you do in the middle of that Trump in this post? - Under the great post. A lot of people have regular posters. They have pregnant posters. And we're gonna make 'em keep the babies. (laughing) - So, what was that? (laughing) What was it? - I think we just found a social media being. (laughing) What do I call, I like honesty and stuff too. Like I love, like, God, that's one of the things I like about you is like, just complete honesty in the moment is-- - Just give it to 'em. - That's what the people are thinking. - But I'm scared a lot. I mean, I think you're right. But I've done so much corporate work for so long, and been part, you know, with the NFL and stuff like that, that I've always, I always bring it back a little bit. I get worried about it. - Well, it's hard to do live on here, right? Like, if you're talking-- - You can't do it 'cause you won't get asked back. - Yeah, and if you're doing Madden, and I'm sure John said, wild shit. - Oh yeah, he, I mean, legends, legend has it. He was, like, rough. - But you have to do this PG version. - Yeah, on there, right? - Yeah, you have to. - But live, you can do whatever you want. - Right, I'm clean, though, because I had so many people coming out. It wasn't anything other than, I knew the people that were coming to see me. So, as I was always really careful with that, but that might be getting unleashed more and more. We'll see. - But it's time has gone on. - Yeah, you know, I just start to, I do less corporate work now. So it's like, well, now I don't have to be as careful with it. But yeah, Madden was known as, like, you know, this is like second and third-hand stories, but your name's Dick Hat. - I'm gonna call you Dick Hat, 'cause your head looks like a dick. (laughs) So you got your body right there, that's a regular body, and then boom, I mean, I mean, if you look at that, it's just like, whoa, dude. - So, back to the, this is my life. I don't know if you always, but meandering the way. - No, this show is a meandered show. - But you hit the right, like, the things on it. There are very, people who do very generic impressions. And then there are specifics that are the toughest. I heard you do in Mark Norman. I heard you in Adam. - Adam, yeah, go back and forth. - Go back and forth, and do some of the Norman. - Hey, Kelliando, he's gay. - He's not, who knows, we'll see. - See, and that's, it's real close to how I would do Drew Carey. It's like, yeah, man, sounds pretty good. But if you bring it in, it's like more throat. - Yeah, it's way in my throat. - And you do, and that, it's like, that comes from there. I buried Norm, I found Norman one time 'cause I said something that sounded like it was him. And someone was like, it sounds like Norman said that. And then I wrote a joke that wasn't my kind of joke. It was a Normandy joke. And then I started saying it as him to our friends. And that's kind of how it started there. That sounds just like Mark would say that. - I wonder if when Mark Norman, when people work with, maybe he brings his own people with him all the time. But it was like, when David Tal, when I was younger, anybody I saw work with David Tal, and I work with David Tal, by the end of the week, I was talking, talking like this. (laughing) Yeah, like all my, like, what do you think John Madden would say? How about this? And I'm just going, hokey-doo-key, hmm, yeah. And I'm going, well, now I'm just doing, David Tal, through me, and I gotta fix that. I mean, there's those things. You see Brian Riggand, you start repeating. Start gonna go over here now. Gonna go the right side of the stage. Gonna go the right side of the stage, donut lady. Okay, and then you gotta go from the big, you go from the real big, you know, from the big one over here, okay? - Yeah, and then you kind of just do the aside. So I was like, you ever been over there? Okay, doing some of that, all right. - Okay, okay, crazy. I crept on the big red one was the sun. (laughing) Okay. - The face when you end on it is, that's the- - Yeah, the faces are cheap codes for when you don't have an impression. I just tell people, the mouth tells you how the person talks, the eyes tell you how the person thinks. So when somebody does a trump and they do the fish fish, you know, that, that, okay, they get that, but they don't always, especially if they're copying somebody, they don't get the acting part of it, which is the, you know, this is just doing trump talking like this, you're talking and you're talking. But then when you, okay, you add in the thought process and it's a tremendous thought process, and a lot of people, a lot of people have a good thought process, but I add the best. - But so you add that I've talked about Jeff Goldblum, he looks like he's a painting in a haunted house. Like a, like a, ooh, yes. (laughing) Yes, you're going up the stairs, where are you going? Ooh, look what's behind the door. I'll tell you, but not before the Wolfman grabs you. (laughing) He also looks like he's eating an invisible hamburger, very good. (laughing) The mustard ketchup relish, pickles, not relish, that would be on the hot dog, that's from a bit I've done before, and I just treated an accent, muscle, what? Muscle, memory, ooh, ah, ooh, ah, ooh, ah. Oh, sounds vals make, but hard to, the classics. (laughing) Ooh, now what I'm doing, ooh, yes. I don't know, I'm conjuring something. - That's a, that's how I find a lot of stuff. I lost my brother. - Did you, did you, have you had someone get mad, now the mic did fall a little bit, put it up so we can, there we go. Did you, that should be good. Did you, did you never do anybody that got mad at you for doing them? - Oh yeah, yeah, I mean, I mean, the sports people are tough, which is what, you know, people know me for a lot of time. - Like Grootin' liked when you did it. - Oh he loves it, man. - Yeah, Grootin' is the best. - That's it. - You can do that all day, man. (laughing) Like Captain America, I could do this all day. You see that? (laughing) Let's use the first Avenger, man. There's a lot of Avengers, but Captain America, he's just this little guy, man. But he had intestinal fortitude and a shield, man. He had that shield right away, he got it from Howard Stark. You know who Howard Stark is, man? That's Tony Stark's, man. Without Howard Stark, we're gonna find out about Dr. Doom. You see that, man? Dr. Doom, there's, he looks like Tony Stark. They're not saying why. We're gonna find out. Yeah, he likes it. - He loves it. - He gets it. Because, you know, I even asked him one time and he kind of, he said no, but he's like no, I love you, man, I love you. But I was like, am I like keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer? Is that what it is? - No, 'cause what you're doing is not, it's a tip of the hat. It's not like-- - I don't do impressions out of hatred. When you do impressions out of hatred, that was an improv person told me that. You can do a character, and I just said, it was the same with an impression. You can do it out of love for somebody, but attach an emotion. And find something you like about the person, and that's what I always try to do. It might be something, it might not be something I like personally, but I'm amazed by the fact that they can do it. - Right. - That's the one. - Yeah. It's like, how do you, oh, come on. Like, you were talking about tells with comedians, like a rhythm that that's very familiar. - From the beginning, and maybe it started with Jack Parr, but I saw it through Johnny Carson, Leno, Letterman, Bill Mar, the step forward. Like there's the step forward, like in the punch lines here. - Right. - Punch lines, right. - They're telling you. - So you know it's giving you the information of when to laugh, and so you don't need a swear word. - You don't need a curse word. - Right, you can just give it a go. - If you say f in this, you know, f in, you know, I mean, I can swear on this, but. - Don't. - No, you can. - I know I could, but I almost don't want to. - Don't do it. - I shan't. - Yeah. - But it is, it does give them the, it gives them the, hey, it's right here. - Yeah, it tells you, it's the towel. [BLANK_AUDIO] but the audience doesn't really, it's subliminal, but it lets you know. - Right. - But who, I wanna know who got pissed at ya? Who really got pissed? - Jim Rome. - Phenomenal, incredible. Right now, I am not looking at Caliendo in the eyes. I've walked past a bunch of times and it's like, and not seeing you. (laughing) Like Madden did not like me at the beginning. I finally made his grandkids laugh. I do it in my act, I've told the store a bunch of times, but it's, I made his grandkids laugh in Dallas at the four seasons hotel. And it was like, I got it now. Like it just was a moment for him. 'Cause if you're not in the club, NFL guys, football guys, it's like anything. They can make fun of each other. But this guy, I come in, and it's like, you're gonna say, what's this guy? Five, six, you know, thinks he's, you know, being me? - I see him, and then, you know, people hear him, and they think that he's me, but he's not me. And then that confuses the people that don't see either of us. (laughing) - Yeah, but you don't do the Madden because you kind of got-- - Yeah, I didn't do much of it. But now, with that movie, that Nicholas Cage movie, you know, like, well, that's gonna open up, doing it all the time, because everybody's gonna talk to me about it, like, why weren't you cast over Nicholas Cage and this is why weren't you? - Which is the stupidest-- - I work you. Well, you know, there's a whole evolution of it. It was first, I think, Will Ferrell. - Will Ferrell was the, and I could see the look from Will Ferrell. He's got the, like, one thing that I've noticed in that movie, and just the promo for the, you know, the teaser trailer for Madden, that, the way they did, Cage, like, the mannerisms in the body are phenomenal. Like, that was almost Chicago. - Phenomenal. - Phenomenal. - Phenomenal. - Phenomenal. - Phenomenal. - Oh, is this phenomenal? - It's double phenomenal. (laughing) But, so, yeah, first of all, they were looking for an A-list type of star. Hugh Jackman, I think, was going to be at it once. I like, there were rumors of these different, and people along the way would always ask me, "Why not you over Hugh Jackman?" Come on. - I don't know. - I mean, it's-- - And, no, it's not. - It's any given day. - Any given day, anybody I could be. Yeah, I was almost Wolverine. - You were. - I was, I was, uh, yeah, I was-- - The suit didn't fit. Is that what it was? - No, I was a little too gruff. - Yeah. - Little too tough. - They were like, "Yeah, I gotta squit." Although, Wolverine in the comics is like a tiny little guy. - Is he really? - Yeah, yeah. - Well, Wolverine is a very small animal. The irony being a big man cast for a tiny little animal. - Yeah, that is true, it's very small. - Yeah, the Wolverine is like, in Deadpool, when they had the little Wolverine, that was like the joke for inside comic people. - Yeah. - That like, "Oh, that's the real Wolverine." - So, let's see. - Let's see. - Let's see. - He's five-three in the comic. - Five-three. - Yeah, five-four. - Yeah, that's Kevin Hart. Talk about, talk about Wolverine, man. (all laughing) - On Draft Kings. (all laughing) - Have you find a word or thing they do? Like, I use a lot of impressions as in and out. - That's right. - Yeah, snap, snap, clap, here we go. - Yeah. (all laughing) - What do you think, Shaq? - Hey, that is pretty good. (all laughing) - But I do like to use impressions almost like a radio producer, pressing a button and sound effects. - Yeah. - I mean, there's somewhere I like to go way off and do it for a long time. But with that Nicolas Cage thing with him, but the thing is, that's gonna have a lot of young people thinking that that's what Madden sounds like. 'Cause he's still Nicolas Cage. - Right, yeah. - Here, all right. - Yes. - All right. - Hey folks, John Madden here. (all laughing) Boom! (all laughing) So, it's gonna be like, well, people talking to me about, you know, you don't sound anything like John Madden. I'm like, I'm pretty good at this. - It sounds identical. - That sounds exactly what I heard as a kid. That's what Madden sounded like to me. - Yeah, I mean, that thing right there. - Yeah, that. - Yeah, that there. - There. - There, there. - There, there. - Yeah. - Yeah, it's like almost like you have a ping pong ball stuck in your mouth, and you gotta talk around it. Like the ball is just there and your tongue's going underneath it, you're trying to, it's almost like you're trying to balance the ping pong ball inside your mouth with an airflow, but at the same time, you're still trying to communicate. (laughing) - But I get why you don't, it's funny 'cause a lot of these people as time goes on, yet their voice changes, their intonation changes, right? - Yeah. - It's like with TV and time. - And older people get, their voice gets raspier most of the time. - Oh yeah. - And a lot of times deeper. So. - But you did the original, that sounded like the original. Like the old, like as a kid too, like the way that Will Ferrell did Harry Carey as a Chicago guy. - Yeah. - And I started to only hear Will Ferrell instead of, 'cause I remember Harry didn't always sound that way, but it was always so big. - What did you ever hear John Caponera? He was the Caponera. - Oh yeah. - The Caponera's the. - That's the Caponera. - Right. - Hey, that's the kid in the sombrero. (laughing) What's he doing over there? That's my opener. So, that's that, but that's the fun thing is you take the impression and then make it into a character. - Right. - Like my maddened became the. I mean, I'm just wowled my face. - Yeah, that's what it's like. Like with Groot and I can just, he's doing that, man. And now with him at barstool. It's like he's doing it so much. - He's just buying into it. - Yeah, oh yeah. - Yeah, because it's going crazy. And he's the only guy I've ever seen. Like he can be wearing a pizza hut shirt with a dominoes hat, man. I tell you what, we're selling the shit out of this thing, man. (laughing) - I do, but it is funny because you, it's like you pick an era of an impression and you have to stick to it. - Or you can talk about how it changes. - Right. - You can do, there is some of that. I mean, I'm trying to think of a, you know, people have done, I used to do something like it, but I've seen plenty of people do it since the eras of Pacino. - What's going on? What are you talking about? Just talk kind of like that. Just very, very, very, at the front of the throat, at the front of the mouth. - And then it came down. And then by the time he was, instead of a woman, he was Southern, somehow. The US Army retired. (laughing) I got something in my teeth, the whole movie. (laughing) - Him playing blind is really what it is. - Yeah, it's almost the time it is. - It's like when he went, when he goes blind, that's when it became like a-- - I'm blind? And in my sense of taste. (laughing) - Has become greater than I ever thought possible. - I would give you one. You tell me who you think this is. Because this is, as a kid-- - Tracey Morgan. - Got it. - I would do impressions of announcers. So I have an announcer, but it's a nobody, but it's like 10 different announcers. - Okay. - So I would say, Dodgers are up to the plate and what's gonna happen there is, he's gonna swing away, no matter what the call is. It would be like, I would take a little bit of-- - Yeah, there's a little Steve Stone. - Yes, a little bit of Stone. And then I would try to do-- - The Scully? - Scully, but Scully was never that high. - Well, he, a long fly ball, deep into the field. - Long fly into the field. - Center field. - Center field. - Center field. But I would steal from all these announcers. - And now for a little political moment. (laughing) He would tell us, he would be so much, people would come after him so much the way he used to begin. - Well, he threw in stuff. He threw in-- - My friend John Holmer, who I told you about, the radio guy, he and I are working on coming back with a puck as we did it for a while. But he has that great Scully. And he does the thing where he's like, he just goes on diatribes in between balls and thrice. - Oh, it's one of my favorite things. - And it's fantastic. - Father lost his legs at war, and that's two strikes at the play. - I'm laughing at this. - Yeah, it would, it would just be like a peeling off of, but that's because as a kid, baseball was like my first love. And so I would hear all these different announcers, and they all kind of, they had the same thing, which was, that I'm out, that I'm out of zoo. - The baseball announcer is not evolved. - No, it's the exact same thing. - The whole fly ball deeper to Shutterfield. Like, what's his name from the Simpsons, who does? - Hank Azaria. - Hank Azaria. - Yeah. - He hit on that somewhat with-- - Oh, are we playing, are we playing Password? - Yeah, we are, we are. - Round, I don't know, I can't, yellow. - I have a problem with name. - Oh, I'm so bad. - I'm 52, but this might, like, maybe it is free too, but that's my whole game, is like, I'll forget the name of an oppression I do in the middle of my act, I'm like, oh, and I started to sweat. I'm like, oh, oh, oh, oh. - Was it his area? - It was at Harry Sheerer. - No, it was Hank Azaria. - Hank Azaria did-- - Because Sheerah did, Vince Gully on his house. - He did. - No, no, that, that's, but I wasn't thinking Vince Gully. He has, he had the show. - Brock Meier. - Brock Meier. - I got it. - I got it. - Brock Meier, I think, talked like that most of the time. - Yeah, it was like a tip, it was like a little shout to a few different guys that had that same wild inflation. - But there is that, I don't know why baseball has involved, maybe because they have to fill so much time. - So much time. - But football announcers, like, I don't think they could do what they did back in the day with Matt and some role. When some role would do that to the 20, to the 25. - There's a flag, maybe Al Michaels a little bit. - He'd be the only one that could get away with it. - But, and he gets, you know, blasted all the time. - Why? - Because he's not, doesn't have a ton of energy. - Yeah, but I don't need it, I don't need that. - He was doing this thing and Holmberg texted me this two the other day so I know it's true. And I'd heard it, I only heard it once, but he'd heard it four times. Michael started saying, "The entire arena rising is one." And it was like, "That's a Bill Walton." The entire arena rising is one. And Michael's doing it. I'm like, "Waiting for it, throw it down, big man." (laughing) "Unbelief, do you believe in miracles?" Yes. So it was like, "Why is he channeling Bill Walton this night?" 'Cause they pulled, I think everybody pulls from something else they've heard and it's hard to get away from it. There is that, but that's such a different and the entire arena rising is one. That's such a Bill Walton. Very much. Like the conference football conference of champions, the NFC Unbelievable. (laughing) By the way, a true statement there, by the way. Yeah, right? NFC is the best. Wait, are you Bear's Guy? Bear's Guy? You Bear's Guy? Chicago Bears. It did a little damage there over there against Scream Bay Slacker. Someone wasn't doing their job. Kicking a bunch of bad kicks over there. Did you see what happened between the middle of the floor? That was fantastic. You know that? Love that. Two seconds in and out. Not even two seconds. I like to put a stop watch on that. Tell you what I like to do. I'd like to go to the floor myself. I have a little couple of words with 'em, you know? 'Cause I, look, I played high school football too. What exactly is the floor? What is it, the flower? Yeah, that's a flower. It's a flower, boy. Flower girls, as far as I'm concerned. And it's not me being mean about women or not, but, and why would you? I don't know. We get the ladies. We do get a lot of ladies, you and I. Well, you know, you're single again, though. Yeah, yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's falling that way. Yeah, it's gonna keep going. It's gonna keep going down. Well, just the winter weight's gonna come off. I mean, that's the problem. It's like summer comms. The winter weight will come off. We go to the lake, you know? It'll be nice. I'll get my body back. You're good. Did you say body back or body bag? Pick. Don't worry about it. Okay. I understand. I said on this show before about a second. Cut that. You're gonna cut that, right? My favorite thing about Chicago is, like, when I go home, my, my biological father will meet, well, he is like, so Chicago, it's like, painful. He does is that many Chicago people do. They talk to you as if you're aware of all the people they're talking about. So he does these, like, kind of tree conversations, and I learned it from listening to him about who'll go, you know, when Grandpa worked at Arlington, my grandpa, he worked at a dog track and the horse track, when Grandpa worked at Arlington, remember Sheila who worked in the window with him on six? No, of course I don't. Sheila's son moved to Los Angeles. I'm gonna get you guys together. I don't know him, dad. I can't. No, but you should meet him. He wants to be in Hollywood too. It's all for you now? Hollywood. Yeah, but it's almost, they, they speak and, and that's a very Midwesterny thing to be like, take him in. Show him. Take him to dinner. We'll make connections. His mind. Look, his mother went to school with your aunt. Your aunt, at least. That's my aunt. That's my aunt. You to ASU. To make connections. We paid for all that. You went there for four years. Four? Never forget, okay? No. That was a lot of money. You think that money grows on a tree? We don't got money trees. Well, no, in the roots, in the way it all forms underneath. I mean, it's just, it's not, people think about, you know, the branches of money, but it's underneath. It's underneath. It's down. It's down. It's down there. It's down there. It's down there. Grabbing nine to the minerals. It's a lot of work. In here. We pour whistle. Hey, this podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Squarespace is incredible. See, all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. I've talked about them so much, man. 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You can do it through the help of Squarespace. So go over to squarespace.com/whiskey to save 10% off your first purchase of website or domain using that code, whiskey. You got it. Squarespace.com/whiskey. Save 10% off the first purchase of a website or domain and use that code. You know it. You love it. I like to enter. Yes, I am a proud, proud of the Bears. Hopefully, this will be out after what happens. My son texted me when that game was on, I go, it's done. I go second half is going to be bad. The packers seem to fall apart a lot in the second half. I grew up in Wisconsin. I grew up in-- I was like, I just think Caleb Williams, he doesn't make a lot of the easy throws, but then he makes these crazy-- Unbelievable throws. Fantastic moments. And as soon as I saw a couple of them, I go, and when Green Bay, they missed the extra point. Yeah. And I was like-- I was like, ah, it's over. Yeah. You can't do that because Caleb Williams just has something going, especially this year. He did. And Loveland. Shout out to Loveland, one of the best rookies I think I've ever seen. I mean, that kid can catch anything in the sky. It's just-- yeah. The game was great. It was amazing to watch. The roller coaster we had at my house, I was like, so upset. So happy. So upset. Losing my mind. Yeah. I just felt like-- I don't know. And the first half, my son said to me, he goes, it's over. I go, it's not over. I know this is-- I've just seen this before. And-- because the Packers didn't have the pass rush. Yeah. And especially, when Caleb Williams would get out in that open field, and he would just do some crazy-- and I was going, there's too much of the crazy stuff. Too much crazy stuff going on. Did you raise your kid-- no, Packers has been passed down or no? No. We kind of just-- I don't know. I was working with the NFL stuff a lot during the time, so it wasn't really picking a team. Sure. Because I would meet players and no players, and then I had my son meet people, and that's always my goal. It's like, when we came to see you, and this is not-- this is going to sound like a backhand of compliment. It's 100%-- I'll take it. --not that. It makes me-- he goes, he would always call you that Andrew guy, that Andrew guy. That Andrew guy, he went to ASU. He's like that Andrew guy. But he knew who you were, which is what is important with him. Yeah. He's a smart kid. He's a very smart kid. I could tell. But he doesn't like-- he goes, who's that Jimmy guy at night? Like, I'm Fallon or Kimmel. He goes, I don't know, but he doesn't care about-- he can tell you the 12th man on the bench of the New Orleans Pelicans, but he has-- like in Hollywood, it's like he-- maybe he's just decided to do that to me. It's because it's you. Yeah, business. Yeah. Like he'll talk about that guy, although he does know Shane Gillis. That's what it's like. Because he likes Shane Gillis so much more than me. Yeah. No. Like, Gillis followed me on Instagram and I said something, my son went to go see you and he likes you more than me. And he just-- I'd never met Shane. I found it very funny, but I was like, the people my son likes, I'm like, he's got good taste and comedy. You like Shane Gillis and that Andrew guy? Well, you raise-- I mean, he came under you, watching you go to your career, getting raised under that, it's got to be a little while. It's hard to-- I don't think my kids didn't pay attention that much as much as-- Really? Yeah, they just like the free stuff that it gets you. I think that's what-- my daughter and with the agents and stuff like that, I'll get tickets. Even if I had to pay for them, I get really good tickets to things like Harry Styles. Oh, sure. Like, really good stuff. That's why I stayed just enough above the fray and in the public ether, I guess, in the ether, so I can still ask for things like my kids or my son meets like lots of pro athletes and stuff like that because they all know me from coming up and-- NFL on Fox. Yeah, NFL on Fox and coaches don't meet even more than-- like it's weird because when you think about, you know, some of the players, some of the players like 21, 22-- Yeah, their kids. It's unbelievable when you meet some good buddy and you go, "My God, you're really young." Yeah, they're children. I mean, they're men out there on the field, but men you meet them, you're a young guy. Yeah. Well, as we get older, they get younger, so it is funny to watch. 52. I'm 42, but I feel like, even if the pro athletes, I know I meet them and I forget sometimes. I'm like, "Oh, God, yeah, you're 20." You're at the end of like the fall-- you're done. You could only play-- It's over. You could play for the Rams or the Steelers. Do you think I could sign up? I think I can see. You still take me. You got the height. Pretty good wing span with the measurements on the way out. What-- what check your-- Yeah, check my stats. Seems like you have the intangibles. Yeah. My 40's pretty good, too. Really? Yeah, I got around like an eight second, 48 and a half second, 40. That's the-- I'm getting down there. Do you ever-- have you tried to-- If you tried to run a 40 in the-- Oh, my God. My son was playing flag football. I tried to run a 40. This is maybe-- this is probably eight years ago, something like that. I was fairly fast as a kid. Yeah. I ran-- well, I ran just under five. I was a running back. I just tore my leg. It was probably a 4-9. You tore ACL? Yeah. Oh, wow. And-- but I was compared to fast people. I wasn't fast, but I, you know, growing up in Walker Show, Wisconsin, I thought I was fast. Sure. - Until you see what fast really is. - Yeah. But where's I go with that? - Running at 40. - Oh, running at 40. Then I tried to run the 40 when my son was playing flag football and all the slow kids on the team beat me. (laughing) Like the 11 year old fat kid. (laughing) He's chunked from the goonies. (laughing) You know, I'm doing the trouble. I'm like, and I get the time. I did it one of my own ran, and the guy's like 6.5. I'm like, 6.5. - 6.5, yeah. - That's two, you know, almost. That's, I'm second and a half slower at least. I'm like, that's, let's do this again. (laughing) - What's your night? - Give me a 20. Can I do 20? - Yeah, I can't, and 40 yards when your young doesn't seem like much. - No, it's a failure. - When you're 40 something years old, it's like, it's like 60 feet six inches to the plate when you're a kid pitching. You're like, okay, you get back out there and you realize how far it actually is. Try and shoot an NBA three pointer. - It's nuts. - Yeah, like, I can't see, can I get my readers? (laughing) Like, what is going on here? Like, all that stuff that you just, as a kid, I could just pick up a bat and head, I could do whatever. I try to swing a bat now, and it just, I don't, there's the whip isn't there. - No, you throw your back out. - Yeah, and 50, you know, last time I tried, was like, 45 or something, I picked up and they're like, man, you can rake. I was like, back was barely getting it out of the infield. Like, I'm hitting the sweet spot on the bat. I'm like, I go in, and it just, yeah, it's just doing this. I'm like, I gotta hold that one. (laughing) It could be, that's to the second baseball. - That's, see, that's, that's will, right? - That was close, that was kind of in between. I was trying to, holy cow, if a guy, that's more actual hairy. - Right. - If there's a guy out first place of a guy out second place, who, who's on first? I spent so long since I did it. Like, and then that, that, the will was the, hey, will was so much more like, hey, yeah. Yeah, yeah, my grace. - What are the greatest coves? - He would do, it's almost like painful when he would do it. - Just go boom. (laughing) If I was a pie, and I was on a conveyor belt, would you eat me? - Yeah, that's right. - If the moon were made of cheese, would you eat us? (laughing) - But that, I always heard that as a kid. So, I remember hearing Harry and being like, that is the funniest version of Harry. - Yes, I think, but that's what Will Ferrell does. I mean, Will Ferrell didn't do the best George W. Bush. - Not even close. - He did the funniest one. - Funniest one, yes. - And his was that college, his was the college frat boy. - Yes. - Yeah, bad boy, but like, you were a party and drinking it. - Mine was like a bush as a little kid. - So, it's like, it was like, he was amazed by everything. I was like, that sounds pretty good, man. (laughing) - Just a, subtle, which I guess, in subtle, the B is more subtle than I am saying it right now. (laughing) - God, that's so good. - God, I mean, that was like, that was back in the hate. I used to work on these so hard. - When you're working out stuff, when you're really working it out, are you doing it to a small rumor, you're just doing it on your own? - I'm, you gotta do it a bunch, and then I do it on the radio and bounce it off of people. - Right. - It's like, when you bounce it off people, you can bail it out and people will give you feedback 'cause you can't always hear what you're getting wrong. - Is there another impressionist that you kind of look to for the help for stuff? If you were like-- - Well, that John Homeberg and I, we go about-- - Homeberg is the one before it. - Yeah, we go, 'cause we think very, so he's like an evil version of me. And it's, he has no hole, it's barred. And, but we've developed quite a few together. And, you know, it's just, but there are other people, I'm trying to think along the way there have been some other people. But I always take the notes from, like I'll work with somebody, or I'll meet somebody that worked with, I met somebody who worked with Bill Walton, that'd be like Bill says this and does this and does this. And then I'll listen for that even closer. - 'Cause those phrases are cues into like-- - Yeah, it lets what people always say. Everybody has, like you said, those beats that they, it's, and for me, even getting into an impression, there are the little starters. There's the, with the goblum, ooh, yes, yes, I. I, one other, but there are those who wait a second, wait a second, yeah, yeah. But you find what they are. - What's the starter for Madden? - You know, right, you know, you know, and he used to do this thing. Yeah, and he would do, he would yes and, whoever he was working with. And that's when that's really what it is. - Yeah. - So that's what, I wanna give me the starter for Morgan Freeman. - Ah, yes, or truth of the matter is, sometimes a man decides to talk the way he does, and sometimes it just happens. - It's unreal. I mean, honestly, and by the way, Morgan Freeman sounded the same for 30 or 40 years. - He has age though, you can, you can hear, no, he actually, if you listen, you just hear a lot of older Morgan Freeman stuff. If you hear him now, you can tell, and do you know who Josh Robert Thompson is? - I don't think so. - 'Cause he loops for him some, and he's got probably the best - Oh, this, the guy who does him. - Yes, yes. - I do know who that is. - He, he was even telling me one time about how Morgan Freeman sounds so much older, but we don't hear it all the time. Sometimes you hear a little bit of it, you know, it's a little bit up here, and there's not as much power behind it, but it's, we all think about that by climb through 500 yards or the fifth slap, I can't even imagine. - We think, Shawshank, is it? Trying to think of some of the other starters for people. Well, Gruden is, I tell you what, man. - Yeah. - You can go anything. I tell you what, man, sounds pretty good, doesn't it? (laughing) - I'm nodding, I'm nodding, there's, they see that microphone, man. - Tell you what, tell what? - I was just gonna ask, what's the starter for Robin Williams? - Oh, oh yeah. - Oh my gosh. Oh no, who knew, huh? Kind of an amazing thing, but a lot of people did the over-the-top Robin Williams, what I went for was the one where you grow beard and win the Academy Award. (laughing) Just get quieter. It's an amazing thing, isn't it? - Did you know Robin? - No, and he was, his son came out to see me in San Francisco and he was gonna bring Robin out to meet me, he's like, he's like that. I don't know if I've ever seen anybody do my dad better than you. I was like, thanks, that's a cool thing. He was, I'm bringing him out and he was gonna bring him the next day and then they didn't come. And I was like, heartbroken. Then two or three days later, I see Robin Williams in rehab. - Oh man. - Yeah, so I was like, I was still mad. You should be. - You should have. - I could have saved him. - You could have been on you. I could have been, I could have been your patch Adams. (laughing) - I saw a different Robin when I saw him return to the comedy store. When he came back to the comedy store after years and years of not coming back, it was a different Robin. - Really? - Just quiet. He was very like, passive and it was interesting 'cause as a kid, all I would see was how explosive he was. And then when he came back, it was just at a different time in his life and it's so, it was so different to watch him. It wasn't the same comedy. It wasn't even the same rhythm of comedy. It was the same kind of like style. It was like a different guy. It was kind of, not a bad thing, but it just, you're like, oh yeah, we all, the comics especially, we all keep changing, but you saw him change dramatic. - That's a musk cocaine. - Yeah, a musk, a musk, okay. - A musk cocaine, that's a kind of stepping back. (laughing) This, the biting of the lip thing is what he does a lot too, that yeah. - There's got to just think about it for a second. It's a wonderful thing, you know? (laughing) - I'll just be over here, somewhere. - Who could you never get? - Lots of them. - Who's the one that you always tried that you were like, god, I wish I could get it, but it's not as important. - Um. - Who is my, uh, I don't, I mean, I mean, there's just so many that I can't do. Chris Burman took me forever 'cause it just turned into Al Pacino. When they're close to somebody. - Yeah. - That makes it tough. I'm trying to think of somebody. Jack Black, I hit every once in a while, and I can't figure out how to keep it there. - To get it back? - Yeah, it's like, I'll get it. Dude, dude. - Ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen, see it's in there. - Yeah. - It's in there, and you gotta get the R's. - Dude. - Dude. (laughing) - Ladies and gentlemen. - That is it. - It's there, and then it goes in and out. But I don't work, I have to just, I have to, it's repetition, I have to do it over and over and over, and if I can't think of a really good bit, I'm just like, well, I don't work on it that way. I'm just like, I'll just do social media things and just do two words, that's kind of what I'm doing. - Well, if you're doing it for the stage, like if you're doing it for the show, you'll write the bit with the person in mind, or you'll write the bit and then try to-- - I try to make an observation about the person and then act it out and then take it to wherever that takes me. So, for example, Pacino, they teach you an acting to be curious. Like you don't really, you know the script, but you're not supposed to know what's coming. - Right. - But he takes that to the next level. He's like, okay, so what happens here? - Well, you turn on a light switch. - Wait a second. You mean I flip a switch over here, and the light goes on over there. Oh, that's sorcery or yells in the movies for no reason. So that's a, I cast him as a librarian, that was the bit I originally did. Yeah. So it's like, what is their persona and how can I take it out and make it something else? So for example, in my act, or even, you know, when I'm doing, you know, publicity or whatever, Morgan Freeman can narrate anything. It joke doesn't work and that's when Frank realized he needed a better punchline. See what he should have done was going from this to that. Yes, that would have made it a lot better. Wouldn't it? I was sitting over here still somewhere. I'm trying to laugh and it's not happening. So it's those, you know, that's kind of my cheap code is just go between voices. So the rest of my, the show or Trump will try to, I'll explain it, make it better. I'm going to make it better. I'm going to make it so much better. What do you think, Joe? Folks, I don't even know what we're doing this. Come on. Where are we? My, my joke with Biden is I'm, he's the only guy I've ever seen, listen with his eyes. Right? Mr. President. Hey, how are you? Come on. How are you doing? The guy with the thing. I don't have to tell you. You didn't have to tell us. You're the president. I wouldn't have told you. It wasn't your turn. Well, guess what? It is again. I'm back. And that's how I kind of, like, I kind of, like, I like to stay in the middle in terms of politics and just, I like to make fun of everybody. But the tough thing is audiences are so narrow nowadays, except for the super, super stars and politics. That's why I do the politicians, like the presidents, like I do those because everybody knows them. Right. But if I was to try and do Saul Goodman, I can kind of, did you know that you have rights? The constitution says you do. Hi. I'm Saul Goodman. Like, there's, I can get that and you would know who it is. But that's all I can say. But at the same time, like, you do that in a show and like, like, 90% of the audience doesn't know what it is, even though it's, like, my favorite show. Yeah. So it's, it's one of those weird, it's those weird things, and that's why sports works so well because most people that know, a sport, know most sports. Yeah. And if you do a Charles Barkley, that guy's a ducal head. He's really, really bad at everything it does. He's really ridiculous. That's what I said to him. I said, Caledino has no idea. He's a story that I kept quiet for the longest time because I had a Charles Barkley had told me. He goes, you know, John Madden wanted to sue you and I go, I know, he's like, I talked him out of it. I was like, how did that go? He's like, well, he called me, he called me and said, this Calendo, he's a problem. We got to get him. It's like, because I done these dish network commercials years ago and I did impressions of them on the commercials. And Madden, he probably was in the right. Like he's like, even though you could tell, it wasn't him. But it was like, hey, they're using our likenesses to try and sell this stuff. And to me, it was kind of, it was definitely parody, so you could tell. But at the same time, you're trying to sell something. So it's in a gray area. But Madden didn't like it at all. He just didn't like me and he didn't know me. The only guy who didn't care really was Dr. Phil at the time. And he doesn't care. Adam does him. Yeah. He doesn't care less. One time, Dr. Phil was doing a promo. I don't think I was dressed as Dr. Phil for that. Maybe I was dressed as Dr. Phil. But no, I wasn't on that one. The first time I met Dr. Phil, he comes and he's like, so you're doing me here? And he just grabs me like a Vulcan nerve pitch. And he's like, I think it's pretty good. But he did a sketch with me at the Super Bowl 15 years ago where I'm doing, I'm like, did you know, and I'm just going off, and then he come, Dr. Phil comes walking in behind me. I'm like, and that's what, oh boy, what else can I do? Wait, so did Charles really stop maddened from seeing me? Yeah, so he told, he never told anybody in the story. But then with the Kelsey Brothers on a podcast, he barkly told the world about that. And I was like, okay, now I can tell him talking about that story because I had never asked Charles, I was too scared to ask Charles, like, can I talk about this? But he never talked about it. And then he did talk about it and I was like, okay, I'm going to start talking about it now. But madden, he did want to sue, then there was counter-suits and so I had myself indemnified from the beginning because I was like, I don't know if you can do this, but I will take the money. Yeah, but that's on direct TV, not on you. Yeah, but it was dish network, but it was back in the time. I mentioned their only competitor. Yeah, that's so funny. And then it was funny because then recently there was that Barry Katz then going around with Barry, he's telling the story, listen, so Frank Calleando, he gets this deal, this commercial. And I said, how much would you do it for me? He's like a dollar. I'm like, you would do this for a dollar? I'm going to get you more money. So I went to the people and dish network. I don't know if it's around anymore. So maybe look it up. And he was telling, I think he was telling, but who is he telling it? There's another guy. It was a comedian, wasn't it? It wasn't Swartz. I'm trying to think. But he's like, and so I said, there's more than a dollar here. So I go and I come back and I tell Frank, it's $50. I got you $50 and Frank's like, I'll take it, man. And I'm like, I just think there's more money. And I just, I don't know what it was, but there was something inside of me that told me there was a lot more money. And then so I come back and it comes back and it's $200 million. If the gist of the story was 100% correct, then the numbers were not right. But it was so funny. The way he told the story, for people who don't know, is a legendary comedy manager. But the way he told the story is like, so let me tell you this story. I was working with Frank Calleander at the time. You know he does the voice, so he's very good. And I don't know if this company's around anymore, but pizza hut. So Frank said, I want to do a pizza hut commercial. And I said, I'd love to get so that man would be incredible. I go, I'm going to talk to him. So I talked to him and they offered him one pizza. Frank says, I'll take it. I said, I think there's more pizza there, man. So now I go back and forth and I come back and I get him 50 pizzas and a bunch of money. And Frank says, I'll take it. I said, I don't think so. I said, I think I can get you more. And now I come back the last time, I'm like, you're not going to believe this, Frank. He's like, what did you get me? I go, you fucking own pizza hut. You're the biggest pizza hut franchise owner in the history of the world. So people that don't know, you have to see the original Barry Guzzet who's it with. Did you look it up? I'm trying to find it. God, it's so funny. But the, but the, just to the story was kind of correct, but he goes, Frank had never even made 25,000 I canceled. I canceled another gig that was over 50 at the time. But people just like I don't like to talk about them like I've never been one that talks about the money. Sure. But I was like, he's making it sound like he wasn't doing it in a purpose. He's making it to have himself sound good, but he was making me sound pretty dumb. Yeah, but he was, he was doing it to make him be like, in managers, they can really do it. They can do anything. You can, you can do anything as long as you put your mind to it. Dane Cook. I was working with Dane for many years, and he's like, I want to do a 5,000 C theater. And I said, Dane, you're going to sell out Mars. You're going to be interplanetary. You're going to be the first interplanetary comedian Elon Musk, nobody even knew yet what he was going to do, like trying to colonize Mars. He was ahead of the game. Did he, he wrapped you for how long? About a few years, are you one of those guys that stuck with someone for your whole career? I was with him for a long time, yeah. I mean, I just, he was great for me, to a certain point that I was just kind of like, I don't know. Do you still have rep now? No, I just have an agent, I mean, I just, people try to manage, but I, in a book, my brother works for me and he kind of advances everything in books, traveling, everything like that. So I'm like, well, I can always get ahold of my brother. Yeah, it's my brother. Like, if it's Saturday and, you know, a flight goes down, he's not, you know, in Malibu right now. Right. Right. Or dealing with 50 other clients. Yeah. But it's not like my brother, my brother's not my manager. I wouldn't have him make entertainment decisions, but administrative, and that's, that's a big part of why you're paying a manager for them to do all that. Yeah. Do you have management? I mean, it's got to be eight years now or something like that. It's like, if you're not good at the business side of things or if you don't understand how to get yourself, or you don't have somebody you can trust, they're, they're great or fine, they're helpful. But, and they contain the agents with, you know, a lot of times agents will have terrible ideas and the manager will be like, this is a bad, like an agent, I always tell people the agent, the idea behind an agent is like, we're going to get you every piece of work in the world. And the manager's job is like, we're going to shape your career. Correct. Yeah. I didn't know what you want to do, and I just wanted to do live dates. I was just kind of like, well, I don't know why I need that right now. Sure. I tried to have a couple. I had another really good one, a couple, but I tried because they would ask me, do you have management? I'm like, no. And then they wanted to. work with me and then they got annoyed with me 'cause my brother did everything. And if somebody did something, I'd be like, well, I'd get mad if somebody booked something poorly, and be like, well, let's just have my brother do that and you just make entertainment decisions. And I actually, with Tim Sarkis, I had that he was great and his office was great. And he's, but I was like, at a certain point, I was like, I'm just doing the row and he goes, I get it. But at the beginning, when you, like, you know, I couldn't even get a comedy central and Barry got me into rooms with people. I like, you didn't get a half hour out of them or? I did, yeah, I had that back in the day. I was trying to get on, make me laugh and I couldn't even get on that show, make me laugh and that was a comedy central. What about the Mad TV SNL world? I went to audition for, I never auditioned for SNL. You never did? No, because I went to LA and I had like such a crazy LA experience where everybody just started offering me tons of money 'cause I would do like 50 impressions in five minutes and I would do it all, we go to the five minutes of fury. I don't remember what it was, but it was kind of my act condensed and it was just going from impression to impression to impression and it just blew away rooms and I would go in there and they're like, we're gonna offer you a deal. Like people were offering me, the WB offered me a deal in the room, NBC offered me a deal. The President of NBC that week was a guy named Scott Sassa. That week is great. Yeah, and he's like, do you want me to put you on Saturday and I live? I was like, my answer was it would be an option. So after that meeting, Barry says to me, he goes, I can't believe you said that. I'm like, what? He goes, the President of NBC asked if you wanted to be put on Saturday and I live and you said it would be an option. I go, yeah, but you told me never show my cards and the meeting goes, yeah, but I didn't think you could fuckin' do it. (laughing) But I was like, you know, ham and Darrell Hammond was there already and Jimmy Fallon had just been cast. So I was like, well, I'd be third fiddle at best. And I didn't really have any live experience. I was just doing stand-up. So I took a deal with Warner Brothers. That was the chicken deal. You remember chicken, Michael Roof? And they put us together in a show called hype that was more like tripe. But we were, you know, the whole night was hype night on the WB, three weeks into the season. The WB Sunday. I'm like, the WB Sunday's back. It's not hype night anymore. It's back to Steve Harvey, I guess. So, I got a bunch of stuff and then they, I went to Matt, I talked about this with Bobby too. Well, time was on him. I got a deal from Fox behind the scenes and like, can you come do Mad TV? 'Cause I had auditioned for Mad TV that first time I went out there before I did that show, hype. That was a show that just, you know, kind of went by the wayside. It wasn't very good. It was trying to do, it was trying to be comedy. - Right. - As opposed to being comedy. And Mad TV, I didn't even audition the second time. I was just blown away the room in the first time. They're like, well, just will just offer you the show. And I took the offer and then Fox gave me something to do that. And then behind the scenes, the NFL on Fox, in a different thing, Jimmy Kimmel was still there. And they were bringing me in every once in a while, I'm like, well, this is getting me more play than anything at Mad TV. There's Mad TV, very good, incredible cast, great writers, but they would always dumb it down. And you're like, why are we dumb and everything down? And because the demo was like 14 year old boys, I'm like, but I'm 30. Like I just don't know, that's not what I thought this was. And it wasn't always like that. It was closer to the Ben Stiller show when it started. And it just devolved down to, and Fox never had any money for it because their network programming was always in the dumps. So they had cartoons and they couldn't promote Mad TV because they had to promote, they were just fighting so hard for their shows to stay above water. And Saturday at Live, you're never gonna beat it, because they can do, they can change the show that moment. They can change the show in hour, 30 seconds before the show, they can change things during the show if they have to. And weekend updates, always gonna be the most topical thing. So you're never gonna beat that. So that was the right. So I never ended up even trying to audition for us now because I did say to Barry too, I was like, well, listen. If the president of the NBC tries to put John, it doesn't go through Marcy Klein and Lauren and all the people there, they don't want that. They want to find you too. Right. So I knew that was going to be another challenge. Yeah, and there have been, you know, there have been so many great people that you're like, that Elon gold god-free people that you're like, this person was destroyed on SNL. And you're like, I can't, did you ever audition? I tested, yeah, I tested. I auditioned, flew back here, then I flew back and I tested and then it was me and Dan Soder. Do you know Soder? I think I heard this. Yes, yes. Yeah. And then it was me, Dan Soder and Pete Davidson. Oh, wow. And you know how that story went? I don't. (laughing) But Lauren, a lot of ups and downs in that story, that flew me back. Yeah. Well, Lauren flew me back. Yeah, he flew me, I did it. I talked about it on Dana's show with Spade and Lauren flew me back. And that's when my agent was like, you got it. They don't fly you back unless you're gonna, I flew back, I was in the hotel all day and then I was supposed to have lunch with Lauren or like a meet him in the afternoon, and then hours go by and I went in there and he was just very blunt and nice about it, to be honest. It was kind of weird, my experience was wonderful. So what he, I flew you out here to tell you you didn't get it. That's exactly right. Yeah. He said, you're not the puzzle piece I'm looking for. And I, and he said, you're gonna have a great career. You're gonna be just fine. See, we have, we have, we've got a Santa Claus puzzle. (laughing) And you're like the dogs playing poker. You know an advent calendar. It's already been opened. You're one of the numbers that have already been opened. But it was, apart from the irony of there is I had already done television. I'd done a shitty sitcom and I'd done some other pilots. And I think he wanted someone, I mean, Pete was a kid. Pete signed up and he was 20 or something. I don't even remember. Nine, I believe. Yeah. But so I remember me and Sodor the same age and it was like, well, these guys are kind of the, we weren't by any means developed but we were much further along in the process of TV and film and blah, blah. So I think that also was a little bit of a turn off to him. By the way, Robert Downey Jr. and one two, it's a, you just gotta burp out the punchline. (laughing) The funny thing is that Robert Downey Jr. actually Tony Stark is Dr. Evil. Throw me your frickin' bone here please. And if you add a little air, wait, frankly, throw me a frickin' bone here. (laughing) That'll drip. That is kind of, I think people don't know that Dr. Evil was Mike's impression of Lauren. I mean, people have talked about it since then. The lay person doesn't always, like some people, like you'll see somebody in the comments. You know Dr. Evil is all comics. No, we know, yeah, we know. But it's funny 'cause then you find out as you go on that Mike, I don't know him. I'm speaking like I know him. But you find out that he kind of is infused a lot of characters from his life and all this stuff and you'll go, oh, I know who that is. Personal impressions are just, they become characters. Characters are impressions of people nobody knows and you just have the right setup and the right point of view that enough people can identify. And it kind of feels so commonplace. Well, that's why I never really didn't do celebrities well. Like, but I would do like a character I did by tested for us and as I did this repressed Southern High School football coach who was kind of into some of the boys. And I stole the voice from one of my dad's friends. He used to belittle me when I was, he was a big lumbering man and he would, you know, he'd go, "Andry, how about you? $100, you can't do 100 push-ups right now. Right here, from dinner table." And he would make me do stuff like that as a kid 'cause he was a big football guy. And I stole that and I-- But that's not stealing if you take the-- Well, yeah, it would be if you took it of like somebody's impressive. But no, no, I just took the world and put it in this like repressed 'cause he would say stuff. He'd be like, "Go, go, go and take your shirt off and do it." And I'd be like, "Why do I have to take my fucking shirt off?" And so I would put that in of this repressed Southern High School football coach that was, he's like, "Yup, just talking about the boys that they run." Y'all are sweating good. Wanna see more sweat? And so I did that as part of my test and the character did fucking phenomenal. I was like stoked about some of the characters I did that had popped 'cause in my mind, I did them at, I did them at a couple of venues in LA, and they did okay at like the improv and stuff in the store, but not until I did it in front of I.O. West and then at UCB, I was like, "Oh, they're, 'cause they wanted it more." Right. They were like, "Oh, they're into the characters." When I did it, when I was doing them at the store, it was just so not what I always did that people were like, "What the fuck is he doing?" Right. So I kind of hid it. I didn't really tell all my friends I was doing it. Did you ever work Stanford and Sons? I did. So there's the, oh yeah, man. Craig Laser. Yeah, Craig Laser, I'll pick you up from the air. Ah, yeah. I think I got a couple stories. He had the greatest thing because one time, I'd just gotten mad TV. So this is a guy who was like totally, and he's gone, he's no longer with us and we rest in peace, Craig was a wild character. He's not in heaven. (laughing) - Where is this? It's a little warmer here. He's almost beetles. (laughing) Hey, hey, come here. I got this over for ya. I guess so. - Hey, come here. - That's where, that'd be funny. Michael Keaton's like, "You ever got a San Francisco?" (laughing) You ever been there? You ever been there? - That's where you got beetles. - Yeah, there's a guy there. Craig Glaser here. - Yeah. (laughing) - I guess so, okay, so. - So, Glaser's like, he's like a, I'd never been there to Kansas City and he was a promotional maniac. - Correct, yeah. - And everything he was on the radio, TV, and everything, and so he's talking about all those things. So I go, just as long as you don't mention Mad TV, we're good 'cause it's not out there yet that I'm on there. He's like, "I haven't mentioned it anywhere. "Nobody knows about it. "Don't worry about it." We're driving in his like Corvette over a hill. There's a giant billboard, Mad TV's Frank Kelly. And he turns me, he turns me, he goes, "Are you pissed?" (laughing) - Yeah, dude. I went, "Hey, are you, are you pissed?" (laughing) - You could have told me that you didn't know or you just had done it, but it was like two days until we see that billboard. And then he's like, "Are you pissed?" But I would do a thing like, he claimed to have created every comedian in the world. - Of all time. - So you take credit? - Yeah, Seinfeld came in and he's doing prop comedy. I said, "What are you doing?" So I started making observations, the minution, the little things in the world. Next thing you know, he's got the Seinfeld shows, making millions of dollars. Where am I, Stanford? So I was thinking about a caratop on the other hand. Caratop wanted to do intelligent, high-level thinking type of comedy. I said, "That's not for you. "What you got to do is get a couple of trunks. "Pull things out of it. "Keep the hair. "Quick cut in your hair." Next thing you know, he's in Vegas, making millions of dollars, where am I? Stanford, so I was thinking about it. But I said to Dave Sheepell, I said, "Have some cultural comedy. "Think about things that are going around." I said to Seinfeld, "Bill Burr, go on rants. "Bill Burr wanted to stick to his act." I said, "Don't stick to your act. "The act is incredibly nutritious things." But I said, "Here's what you do. "You're going to open the Anthony show. "You can talk to the crowd. "You're going to 12-minute rant." Next thing you know, he's making millions of dollars. Where am I, Stanford, so I'm thinking about it. So I created pretty much every single comedian that has ever been through Dane Cook. He didn't want to have any animations. Sebastian Mount Scalco didn't repeat things. I said, "No, you've got to do that. "Move your arms around." Move your arms around if they're offering you peanuts. You don't have to have a punch line. Just tell them they're offering you peanuts. Say it three times. And you will get people to enjoy what you're saying, 'cause it'll make you think about it. And you'll make, there is Sebastian Mount Scalco. I said, "Anyone to go by, Sam Mount Scalco?" I said, "No, Sebastian Mount Scalco." I said, "The longer name, the Italian, "the spaghetti people get in their mind, "then understand." Next thing you know, he's making millions of dollars. Where am I, Sam from the thing about it? So I have these ideas I give to people they understand, but you know, it's just, I'm a giver. I'm a giver. - Except he would take from your fucking check. This guy, I'll never forget, he picked me up. No, he had a, a lotus. He had a lotus at one time. If you know what, this is a very small little two-door car. He had a tiny lotus. - Downed down to one door for a while. - He goes, he goes, "I'll pick you up from the airport." And I was like, "Oh, you're gonna pick me up?" I thought, 'cause I'm thinking it was gonna be an opener or a runner or something. No, I pick, I'll pick you up myself. Okay, he picks me up. We're in the front seat, and he's taking me by down to Kansas City. He's like, "Best restaurant, I don't know, "if you can't afford something like that, "but that's the best restaurant in Kansas City." And then he's driving around and he goes, "Hey, before we go to the hotel, you cool "if I pick up my girl?" And I was like, "Your girlfriend?" And he's like, "Yeah, you're cool." I was like, "I'm cool, I guess." And he goes, "We're going to get Black Barbie." That's what he called her, "Black Barbie. "We're going to get Black Barbie." And I'm thinking, "What is this play that he's talking about?" And then he pulls up to this apartment complex and this six-two woman wearing like a tiny little mini skirt. I mean, boobs out and he goes, "Go ahead and scoot over." I was like, "It's a two-seater car." And he goes, "Oh, she'll get in the back. "Black Barbie doesn't give a shit." And he makes me get out. I pick up the seat of like, you know, all two-seater sports car. And this six-two woman in heels is like, "Smash in the thing." And I'm like, "I'm continuing." And he goes, "Are you sure? "Is this okay?" And he goes, "She doesn't care, man. "She'll fold in anything. "It doesn't even matter." - You ever see when the magician puts the lady in a box. That's what she says where she does. She worked with Copperfield for years. I said, "I originally Copperfield was trying to get "really fat ladies and put them in boxes." I said, "No, grab the thin ones so they are limber." And then you get 'em round. You can twist 'em into pretzel. I put her in the box next to you know. Copperfield's got his own island doing whatever he wants. He makes his own rules. Where am I, San Francisco? (laughing) - For people that don't know. God damn, that's so-- - He could be a character. I mean, it's God. - It's so funny. - He's got to set him up right enough and just find the right thing. It could be outside of comedy. - Yeah. - And it's the guy working somewhere that claims to have-- - He invented Velcro. - He invented Velcro. - Yeah, there was. - People were tying their shoes. I said, "What are you gonna do, tie your shoes? "You're gonna end up, you've been down, "you've got to tie the shoe. "You've got to memorize the knot. "A lot of people can't don't have the next "there already to do that." He'd get older. I said, "How 'bout we take two strips "of some type of fabric. "One that has kind of like tiny little hooks "and another one that's kind of a fuzzy type of deal. "I have the hooks attached to the fuzzy "and make a funny sound when it opens up." Next thing you know, the Velcro people, they're making millions of dollars from where my San Francisco is going. (laughing) - God, it's so fucking brilliant. And that club, that club, everyone had to go through that club. Everyone did that fucking club. And I did it because I had another headliners go, well, you could do it. They'll headline you even if it was early, 'cause it was early for me to even have my own weekend. And they were like, "He'll do it. "He'll headline you early, "and you'll get fucking no money. "I'll lose money on the trip." And I did. And then I was there for the second iteration when they had like a cat walk. It was like in a, you had a long theater they had bought. You had to go out on a cat walk. He's like, "Use it. "Use a cat walk. "Go out there, man. "Go out there, man. "You want to walk out on a cat walk." It was nuts. But you live through a lot of the changeover clubs, right? Like the generation above me, you guys kind of get a lot, you saw a lot of those go from one company to another one to another one then be bought and then, or either all the mom and pops that closed down. You saw that, right? And that was actually, some of that was before me. I saw, I saw as the improvs were starting to come around. And so I actually started in, I graduated from college in 1996. I got on the college circuit for the first three or four years and did mostly that. So I got to that, about 2000s where I'm doing clubs. - Okay. - So it was on the back end of a lot of those types of clubs. - That switch over the changeover? - Yeah, there was some, there was some go, but I didn't know, I didn't even know the story. Like there were so many clubs in Chicago, I'd never heard of. I just did Xenies in Chicago. - Bert, has Xenies in Chicago? - So I would, - Chicago. - Chicago. - Chicago land, area. - Yeah, no. - Be careful going through the magnetometer. (laughing) - Whoever that was at the, at the O'Hare Airport. Oh, here were the only toilet seats that had like the condom that went around. - Yeah, the rotating condom seat. - Winging, winging, yeah. - That's so gross. - It was with the weirdest thing. It was like a full on life saver. (laughing) - Yeah, but you knew, there's no big roll in there. They've got to just rotate in the same thing. (laughing) - This one looks staying, multiple times. - What are you, so now, now you're touring, again, this, are you doing? - Yeah, I'm starting to do a bunch more 'cause my wife's spending a lot of money. I put a lot of money away and then I put like so much that I don't want to touch. - Sure. - And I'm like, well now I gotta force myself to go do some stuff to create some, some new thing 'cause I don't want to pay the penalties on the money I put away. - That's right. - So it's. - Gotta go to work. - Some get myself out there and doing some more stuff and I create on stage, I find stuff hits me in the middle. Like things have happened here, but I'm like okay, this is a tangent I can go on and that's where the fun is gonna be. And I want to tell more stories and do more about me 'cause that's a difficult thing for people. They come out to see the, they come out to see the act. They don't always come out to hear what I have to say. They come out to see what I'm going to do. There's a difference. Like people come to hear what's Andrew kind of annoyed by? What is, what is, what's getting his go? What's, people don't do that as much for me as they're like what's he gonna do? What's the next thing? It's a magic trick. Like you don't care about the magician in the middle all the time. You're like okay, we get it. You're conjuring demons to make an ace of spades. Fantastic. But just show me how, I want to not see where you're pulling that card from. Right. But you have you started to, yeah, it's been on it off and I just have to get on stage more and more and more to do it because if you take too long of a break, you don't get in the flow. Right. And it's like I build each night. As I'm on the road, I build little bits here and there and then go back and go okay, so I can add this, take out that, you know. Yeah, but I think with you, it's like as time goes on, I think for someone like me, I'd want to see you, obviously do what you do the best, but also build out your storytelling and not just the, you know, like you're saying, show the ace of spades. Like I think you're at a point in your life in your career when you've done so much that you're like, I can tell. For example, a bit I've been doing is about that mad movie. So I get a call from my agents and I told the store a bunch, but it's different because you're here. Yeah. [BLANK_AUDIO] They're like and the reason I keep doing this because I sweat on my upper lip and it really looks bad. Oh, I was staring at it I liked it. Yeah Is that the is that the football coach? Yeah, yeah Andrew Watching the sweat drip down his lip boy, man, that looks good done it Next thing you know, he's on NBC and so I wear my Stanford sons. Thank God this time So I get a call from an agent and He goes well first of all they want to be to audition for the Madden movie for the part of Howard go sell and I'm like I don't really do a Howard go sell and the only thing I could think of is if I even got this movie I'm gonna be this is how I'm doing a terrible Right just terrible like people are just gonna say the whole time that's terrible should have done Madden Right but Nicholas Cage is mad so then I get a call later after I just didn't even want to do the audition I'm like I'm not gonna do it because I'm not gonna be good But my also I was also thinking at the time they probably want to just talk to me about Madden Yeah, there's probably that always happens to me where somebody wants to meet with me about something They want somebody much more famous person. They're like well, we're gonna just kind of work on some of the stuff You have we're gonna have them we're gonna tell them what you do I'm not giving away the formula and my agent calls me I can like Nicholas Cage and the director want to talk to you about this movie on a zoom I'm like no, he's like what do you mean no? I'm like I don't want to do a zoom with Nicholas Cage I want to hang out with Nicholas Cage. Yeah, I want to go to Vegas on a right side car to the ghost writer I'll do a Leslie Stahl walk and talk. I want to be in there I want him to take me around and he's got his exotic animals being his basement. Here's my monitor lizard What would John Madden say to this monitor lizard? We're gonna steal the Declaration of Independence It's a that's the bit right so but that's but those real things I'm trying to take those real things and make them stories in my act and then elaborate on the more in the act and Build those out. Yeah, that's that's the key to me is the first step of just getting people to because they want to hear Anytime I say a person's name people think the impressions coming next sure. So it's it's it's like I could say I'm trying to think of somebody that's a Brad Pitt. They're like oh he's gonna do Brad. No, I'm not gonna. I'm just mentioned his name, right? I could do Brad Pitt You think I'd stop Doing it. I do it all the time. Right. I could do Brad Pitt. So he's a hard one to do though. Yeah, Emily You look at I think some of it's gonna be the look. Yeah And he's not much of a cartoon character. He's a pretty subtle actor very A friend of mine can do a great one too, and I've seen him do it So that's another reason I Ross Mark one. So Ross is like unbelievable with it. He's got he's got a nail Oh, yeah, yeah, how about Obama? Let me be clear. That is what this is about It's one Two three four five six seven. I can break down. That's how I like bring one two Whatever You got one two three four five six seven eight nine ten that that that You're gonna read Folks Pi The Presidential number count is yeah, well a bit I talk about is like Trump would make up his numbers He's PT bar and I'm a president Biden was struggle with the numbers. Yeah, but You know and everything goes back to Scranton, Pennsylvania. What's a man going to Scranton, Pennsylvania? Very four five hours. He's like a drunk auction here. For example, six hundred eight. So come on Six hundred eight so fall the Roman Empire the Romans The Roman Salgui Caesar Defeated by Mario Luigi Folks are plumber So it's I but it's like finding those Where were we going I with the voices? Yeah, so But you find the cadence how many Christopher Walkins if you've heard low you've heard high Yeah, you've heard in the middle it doesn't matter where the the the the note is it's what's what's the music that's played? What are the what are the notes actually not the tone? so with Counting with like Robert Downey Jr. It's just one two burp three four five six seven Liam Neeson is one two three four five six Seven you need to do that better one two one two one two three four five six Seven That's a better that's a better, but there's there's those canances like Michael Keaton and one I guess You're gonna go to three four five six One one one two one two one two three if you have them up one two three four five six Has it it's been embedded since you were a kid? I think so like when you were a little kid. Where are you fucking around? No, no, I was very quiet and tell him about middle school then I kind of broke out on my Shell and I was a little bit more, you know, there's a guy the kid Darren Barish. I was talked about him like he was he was a good-looking kid but He had frosted tips like before anybody had like that like he had bleached part of his hair, but his nostrils always flared out You just kind of you know he had a rhythm to him like this and he always had that comb He'd feather his hair kind of with the two-hand featherer But it was like I would do impressions of him and Mark Christians and coach Christians and Basketball coach. I had him for US history like Mr. Kellyanneau Can you go up to the map and show us where the United States is? I'd point to the blego's sit down Mr. Kellyanneau. That's water Well, I gotta say this is a panic. It's like an exercise. I mean, it's like a major. Well you can do so It's funny now, but you're but you're it's just different. I used to be better too. That's the crazy thing I used to be I used to work at it so hard which I need to get myself Working hard at the I've done this. Maybe you probably never see it But there's so many voices that are so close to each other. Yeah, and I take two things This is the thing I did on social media It's there's two voices you can take Kermit the frog and Fasi bear Kermit the frog is Jim Hanson Kermit the frog here, right? And then Frank Oz is Fasi bear I'll walk a walk a walk a walk a walk a right in there and if you take Kermit the frog you bring it down becomes John C Riley did you touch my drum set? And then if you if you might bring bad some air to it becomes Mark Ruffalo I see this as an absolute win and you bring it down even more it becomes Paul Jim honey. I believe That is one of the craziest things I've ever seen in my entire life Now if you bring it back up and you tighten it up and go back to John C. Riley and then bring it back to us Which is actually the birth laugh And then you could take those those those Fasiish voices and you get Joe Rogan. Oh my god Jamie. That is fucking nuts Jamie pull that up. Oh my god. That's crazy. That is fucking crazy So everybody is it there's a lot in that everyone's a mix from Fasi to Kermit. Yeah, there's a bunch in that grouping I mean there are others that you can take him to like John Madden Hey folks, John if you take if I took Nicholas cage cage here and I brought it back into it They made it glottal so you've got it really air you can actually hear And it gets in there that's that that gets right before you get to Fasi So it's here then you you tighten up right and now you're talking in here Cuz cage is up here. Yeah, yes, of course How did I not see that But you bring those which is Keanu Reeves is in there, you know those there's like those voices that are up in the front, right? Okay Have you insured your insured your voice? No, you should What would I insure insure your throat insure your your you can insure it What if you lose your voice? I'm done. I'm a mine and I'd be the best man A lot of people said you could be a man, and I said what's this? I'm running into the wind I'm a windrunner. I'm a windrunner now like you know damn. I'm stuck in a box. I'm in the box Now I'm holy grope now He's the only mine that would tell you what he's doing. He would listen. He'd give it all the way. I do I do a mama speaks I don't even need the clown makeup the only mom that speaks I'm the only mom that speaks and I'm in a box here I'm in a box and not alone. There's of course a couple super miles and a lot of a lot of a lot of memes do the box and a lot of Mames do the pull the rope. I do them both I'm I'm pulling the rope and I'm in a back Well, I'm gonna tell you I want to say something. I hope I hope I can see you because I want to see the full new act I hope I see you soon. Yeah. Well, it's it's developing and now that I'm on the road it's I gotta get more of the stories. It's That's funny because I have a lot of things that go Back that I have to like I pull from stuff That older stuff and then I go off on tangents to build it Yeah, and it's like I got to figure out how to get rid of the stuff that's at the beginning that's kind of old and then get the new things. - But I mean, that's gonna be trial and error with you figuring out what the stories that you like and that you don't, you know, that you get over. You don't, I mean, the stuff that you're like, it's almost like when you're trying new jokes and you know, like, how do I like that so much? But I just want a piece of it to fill this other joke. - Yeah. - You know, we beg Barron and see that. - And there's, that's so funny 'cause you can take your own joke and just switch the situation slightly and it's like, well, that's the same joke from 10 years ago. - You'll be, yeah, nobody cares. They don't care. They just wanna see you do it. - I think that one thing, I don't know who told me, but there was an older manager. Oh, David Steinberg, who just passed away. Steinberg was Rob Williams's manager, Billy Crystal. And Steinberg said to me, he's like, you guys are so fucking obsessed with throwing away material. And I said, well, I mean, I don't know. It's kind of like a comics code thing sometimes where you do an hour and you do it. And he's like, who told you to do that? I said, I don't know. I just think we all kind of do that instinctually. He's like, cut it out. He's like, it's your stuff. You made it. He's like, you can do it as freely and as frequently as you want. - I've done the same thing so many times. I'm doing it up here now. - But he was right. - Oh, look down there, quick laser. Who? Things are heating up. - But that's the thing about hell. They have the greatest, you get great fire and you can make tremendous marshmallows. I said to Beelzebub. You're not doing everything you can with the fire. I said, we can make the great things. Fire can be, it's not like Frankenstein. It doesn't have to be bad. - That's not even bad. - The cavemen, with that fire, they would have been frozen. - Would have been just a bunch of swans and mails. And they said, no. I don't think they had those around back then. Of course, they did. - He would actually convince you that they did. - They had TV dinners. - How could they not have TV dinners? - They weren't the same. They didn't have, they didn't use plastic. They didn't have plastic, but they used leaves. (laughing) - Oh shit, Frank. I wanna thank you. - Yeah, thanks for that. - Very graciously for coming up. - Son knew the Andrew guy. - The Andrew man, yeah. - The Andrew man. - The Andrew man. - That Andrew man. - It was, it's been an honest pleasure. I'd want to met you. I told you that man. I was like, God, I can't wait to sit with you. For the fans, please go see this young lad on tour. I imagine it's gotta be Frank Halliando.com. - It is, but you don't have to, you can spell Calliando, the lead's letter C, the word alien, and the word do. Frank C, alien do. But I also got Frank on stage dot com. - Frank on stage dot com. Frank C, alien do. - Yeah. - That's a pretty great way to do it. - I thought, I didn't think I came up with it. Somebody told me I did. I still think it was Harlan Williams. - That sounds right. - Hey buddy, do you know there's an alien in your name? - Yeah. - Do you know that? (laughing) - Why are you doing that? 'Cause I always do that buddy. - Hey buddy. - Hey, can I get around? - Chantines. - Hey. - Hey Andrew Santini. (laughing) Isn't that your uncle, the great Santini? (laughing) - Harlan, one of the funniest. - Oh, unbelievable. - Just what I can do. Harlan is, hey there with your hardened Greek Santa going around the whiskey war. He just looks around the room. - Yeah, he just finds it. - He's crazy, so say. - That's what he says. - I think the whiskey ginger there with the frame picture of yourself making a funny face in the guy with the name. I can't remember, but it's awkward. (laughing) Look at these cameras over there and the golf clubs next to the skateboard with the scorpion on it. There you go, my friend. (laughing) - Go to see frankonstage.com. Frank C. Alien do. It means the world to me that you're on the show. I appreciate you. We end the show the same way. Look at that camera right there. And you say one word or one phrase. Used to be a word and it became a phrase and then kind of switched around, but you're imparting this wisdom upon our audience. So whatever you want to leave it with, leave them. Um. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. - Oh, that creature in the ginger beard. - Sturdy, ginger. - Like that, the ginger gene is cursed. - Ginger's a fugitive. He won't be five dollars for the whiskey. He's seventy five dollars for the horse. - Ginger's our hell now. - This whiskey is excellent. - Ginger, I like ginger.