Frame is Focus & Social Vision 101 - The Mind of An Angel

Intro What's up guys, if you like this podcast and you want to show me some love and support, hop over to my link tree in my profile and click on the Show the Things link and show me some love. All the love and support's greatly appreciated. If you do that, be sure to leave your Twitter handle and your Twitter bio name so I can remember it and know who all the big fans are. Now onto the podcast. What's going on, guys? Welcome back to another episode of the podcast here. And I've noticed this podcast is getting a lot of love on Twitter, which is pretty awesome. And I think it's just cool, man. I'm, I love this and I love that you guys are liking it. And I think it's really good, a really good forum to kind of be able to explain a lot of things in more detail. And also, like I said, to get out there and preserved in a way that other people can reference it over and over, right? And kind of lock this stuff in, right, Because a lot of stuff in Twitter just kind of gets buried. So today we're going to get into, we're getting into some concepts about Framus focus, social vision, how things paint against the vibe, right? A lot of these choices that we don't even know that we're making. We don't even know that we're making. And it's the things that drive what the whole world perceives of us. And we just don't, we don't even know we're putting out there in this world. I think it's going to be great and it's going to help us tighten up a lot of leaks in our game. And it's mostly going to help us read other people way better. So we're going to get into this. All right, So this whole thing starts today off of a hypothetical question that someone put out there, which is, you know, they're just probably trying to drive some sort of Twitter engagement. But I thought it was I thought it was fun, right? And she's like, it's like you're on a first date and this girl says you're handsome, funny, wealthy. How come you're still single? How do you answer right? And like the comments a lot. A list is like guys are like, you know this, like this girl shouldn't even be asking this question, right? Like she sees you wrong. Like it's already broke from the beginning of this girl's coming at you like this blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? And like we're going to get into this. So the first thing I want to like talk about is like something I call the fight, right? The Fight So like like probably like 70% of the world is in what I call the fight. So you got people below the fight. So these are just like a losers outcast. They already they're basically resigned to their lot in life. They know they're a loser. And then you have the winners, right? The people have already won the game. Are that the game's already over, right? Like for them, they're like, I'm already in, I'm already in the end zone. I'm already back home, you know, celebrate with my trophy, right? Those people are about the fight. And then the most of the world is still in the fight, right? And what they are is they're feeling like they need to, they, they live in an existence where they need to constantly prove themselves against the world. And they're battling to move up slowly in status, right? And their whole world is comprised of people demanding and questioning things of them and then happen to prove themselves, right. People who are getting into arguments, debates, they're having to stand for them, their opinion against other opinions, right? They're seeing other people and interpreting them as a person who's a disbeliever, I doubt or something like that, right? All these things are like communicating their worldview that other people are constantly questioning them and that if this person stops putting in a little bit of effort to prove themselves, they're going to fall slide right back down that totem pole, right? And so like to them, they're constantly kind of like they live in a world that's like that, right? It's like a dog that kind of like expects it expects that it's going to have to work for food, right, And it's like, what do I need to do? Like, what do I need to do today? Like do I need a shake? Do I need to lay down? Like, what do I like what's going on? Right, right. And it's maybe it's not like submissive like that, but they live in a world where they're constantly what I call in the fight, right? And power gamers are very much in this, right, Because to them, like they're like every time that they feel like they give something up, you know, they like as soon as like it's, it's like every time they want to keep it in even out and, and like, whatever I give, I got to get back, right? Or I've lost some sort of status, right, whatever. So what it is like to this to this answer is, you know, this is a mindset test. Like we've made a choice without even knowing we made the choice. Like if we focus on the how come you're still single part, we tell that girl, we're still in the fight. Like here's another person questioning me, doubting me, yet another interview question, somebody coming at me saying like, why do you think you deserve this job, right? And some people will maybe just, they just take it and accept it and they'll just, oh, cool. And a great interview question. Let me go ahead and answer that, right. Or other people, they kind of resent it and they're, they're mad like, oh God, here another, another interview question, right? Like, doesn't she know that I'm so much better than this blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And they, they have like this bitterness and resentment and an, an urge to want to walk away or get annoyed by it, right? So guys are like, well, what am I supposed to say? Like, what am I supposed to say back to that, right? And the answer is, is like, this is what I want to get into. Like there's a secret choice you don't even know you made, right? Like, and I want to talk into this. So let's go through this question again. You're on a first date and she says you're handsome, funny, wealthy. How come you're still single? Right. So let's turn on our social vision. How do we do we turn on our empathy? Think about it. Imagine you're a girl and you're sitting at a table when you're asking her like you're you're a girl. You're asking this guy, you're like, you're all these great things. How are you still single? Like think of the mindset it takes to be to say that to the person. Like if you really were wanting to know, you're really questioning about why they're single, right? Like, and you have suspicions about them about like, are are you good enough? All these other things. You don't ask it like that. You're not going to leave it with all these like 3 awesome compliments. You're going to like instead be like, well, so like, when was your last relationship? How long did that last? How long have you been single? You know, things like that, right, are much more like if she's really focused on why you're single, right? That's more of what she would be. That's more of what she's going to go with, right? Instead, she's asking it like you're all these amazing things like make this make sense to me, right? That is a compliment, right? So she wants to compliment you, but she doesn't want to seem to for she just can't be like you're just handsome and wealthy and all these other things like she can't just lay down in front of you, right? So she needs some sort of like, you know, offsetting break. If you will like explain to me this makes sense to me because this is I can't believe this, right? Well, is that a bad thing? I can't believe this deal. This is such an amazing deal. It's a compliment. She's giving a compliment, right? And, and you can, you can tell like a person who had their genuinely had their focus on why you're single wouldn't have their focus there, right? They'd ask other questions, right? They'd think about it differently, right? And our choice that we make here is what we focus on. We don't have to choose to focus on this part of it, which is why you're single. Instead, you can choose to focus on this compliment part of it, right? Which is why she's doing it, which is why she said that. And in fact, if you respond to this and so and and you assume that's the real question here, she rolls her eyes inside her head because she's like, this guy doesn't even didn't even know that's a compliment. He couldn't even tell that's a compliment. So either has really low social intelligence or he's just not used to getting complimented from girls, right? Like, because a girl wouldn't say it like that, right? It's the way she said it. You don't think about it. Like the thread choice here, we're going to get into this all this today is like she's like your thread choice is like based on what you're like, where your focus is at the fact that you even your mind was even in a place to think about to say that, right? And we're going to get we're going to continue into that. She starts off with her compliments, right? She's boom, boom, boom. Three things that are just right, that you're handsome, you're funny, you're wealthy, right? Like, why are you single, right? That dude, that's a compliment. That's straight up compliment out of out of the gate, right? The fact that her mind is even there, you know, like if her mind was really concerned, she would not be in a place of mind to be thinking about compliments, right? And she was really concerned about these things. And she was really kind of like, oh, I don't know if I don't know if you're good enough, right? I don't know. She's not going to come in with compliments on it, right? So this is this is like how we can kind of calibrate and understand and get better reads in our social vision to be able to get into that, to be able to read these situations better. So like a guy like who replies to that, right, He's going to sub communicate an assumption that he believes it's his role to prove himself to the world that he needs to justify himself, that he needs to change minds. Like I, oh, you have doubts that I'm of why I'm single. You have doubts that I'm all these great things if I'm still single. So let me change your mind. Let me justify to you why that's not right, right. He's he's still in the fight in his mind. He he believes that that's his role, that's his standing in society, and he doesn't even think about that. He makes that decision so instinctively because of who he is and who he's always been. He doesn't even question that. Maybe that's not someone questioning him, right? Maybe it's not someone asking him to prove himself. Maybe it's somebody actually who's just a big fan of his and was looking for an excuse to be able to give him a compliment but didn't want to lay themselves too vulnerable in doing so, right. Maybe that's what his life has been like in his role as but that isn't the world the way that the world has treated him. So that's why he assumes it's differently a guy who's already won. That's what he's going to see it as he's going to see it as an excuse from that girl to compliment him. She wanted to qualify him right. It's a disguise coverage and we're going to get a little bit into what disguise coverages are. This is why I say like it's it's really so impossible to train a guy. You can, you can try and train a guy so much, but if a guy still deep down believes it's on him to prove himself to the world that he's got something to prove that other people are doubting, right? Like he's got that chip on his shoulder. He's never like you cannot train that. It's so hard to train that guy in game because he's going to make this initial decision that he doesn't even know he's making and he's going to do it by where he places his focus. He's going to what he's going to take from. That is a challenge on me. Like it's so hard to teach that because it's like there's no lines, there's no tactics, there's nothing else. Literally the world of what you're reading is different than what the world you need to be reading is. And they can't see it. You're you have to open their mind to what what the world actually is. Like, dude, that was actually a girl complimenting you, right? Well, no, she wasn't. She was coming at me. If she was coming at you, how would she have to actually come at you? You think she would come at you with three, three compliments, right? You think so? Is that what you? Is that how you would? Is that how you would question someone and insult somebody? Insult someone? Is that how you would challenge someone? Right? No, no, not at all, right? And so you didn't do like these disguised coverages, right? Like these are a way for girls to figure out like they're going to try and disguise your cover. I use that phrase. I know that a lot of guys aren't like Americans, right? But I use the phrase disguise coverages. It comes from college, from NFL or college football, right? Or you're like these, you're going to have your secondary who defends wide receivers, they're going to try and uncover like disguise how they actually have their zone coverage. That way, the quarterback doesn't know where it's going, right? So they want to make the quarterback take a bet on what he thinks it is. And sometimes that plays in the favor of the defense and they get interceptions and things like that, right? Women do the same thing. They try to disguise their coverages because they want to see where you're going to place your focus, right? They want to see what you're taking from it, right? And in this case, right, if she says it like this and you fall for it and you go instead, and you don't read that as a compliment. Instead you read that as an affront, some sort of challenge that tells her, OK, he like, I'm actually in cover 2, but he thought I was in cover 4, right? That tells me like this guy, he thinks he's used to playing against Cover 4, right? Like he can't read it. He should be able to clear the see the clear signs, right? Like that that I'm actually in cover 2 here. All right, good examples of disguised coverages are shit test. Shit test is a great example of disguised coverage. That's a girl who's actually into but she's acting like she's not just so she can see what you're going to how you actually react to that, right? Are you a person whose focus is automatically assumes that this is just a girl who's just you know what I'm saying? That's a girl who's probably still into me and I haven't really made-up my mind about you, right? So I'm still going to be nice to you because you're a nobody to me, right? Like, or is it a person who's going to be like, here's yet another person trying to shoot me down. Here's yet another person trying to challenge me and come at me, right? Like in the way that you pass that, of course is not by getting emotional about it, not right, And putting your focus somewhere else. Literally, if you could just continue to stack on your thread on what you were talking about earlier and you don't give any oxygen to that, right? You'll pass it, right? Because you don't even focus on it. The way to fail on that is to place your focus on the shit test, right? That's a great example. Another example of a disguised coverage is when girls will sometimes suddenly come on to you hard, right? Disguised Coverage They want to be all touchy, they want to be all kissy, they want to be all these other things. You haven't like you, you're relatively early on in the interaction, right? You know, maybe you're on a date or whatever and she's just like really like she's touching you and all those other things, right? Like early on to a little too early, right? It'd be cool if you already banged and stuff like that, right? It's fine, but like it's way too early on in the interaction. So your alarm bell should go off like hold up, like we're not at that stage yet. You know, a lot of guys like oh cool, she likes me. Girls are just easy and stuff like that. It's like actually like one or two things. Either she's trying to play you right, which would be one of the obvious things, right, But let's assume it's not. I was assuming like a real legit girl does this. The reason that they'll do that is because they just want to see if they can leave the interaction. They want to see if they can actually be in charge and dictate what's happening, right? And if they want to know if they can escalate as far as you'll, as if you'll let them escalate as far as she wants to, right? Or if you're actually going to stay in control of this, right? And that's important is that in that case, even though it looks like she's into you, you actually need to understand that this is just a test to see if she can gain control of this, right? And so you need to allow it a little bit. But then you got to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold up, hold up, hold up. We got to focus on this over here, right? Like you got to, you got to shut that down, right? That's a disguised coverage, right? The reason that this has to happen is because if a girl just comes out and just says hello, common man to man coverage, take a look at me, it's too easy, right? She doesn't know who you really are and she doesn't know if you have a really good offense and if you're really smart, right? So that's the reason that she has to do that. All right, so let's transition here. I want to kind of get into a little bit about like social vision and like how things paint against the vibe and why the vibe is going to be a backdrop that allows us to read other people very easily and to be able to see like what people's angles are, where these disguised coverages are, like where the tests are, how people actually feel about me, how they feel about themselves, everything, right? How to paint against the vibe And we're going to we're going to be able to see this, right? So think about painting the painting against the vibe. Like imagine, like the vibe is like a background of like yellow and we start seeing like blue or we start saying it's easy to see that in front of it, right? Another way is like, imagine the vibe is just a stream that's just going down there. Everyone wants to go down with the stream, but if you're going sideways to it or if you're going up against it, right, that lets people know like, OK, hold up. They have like some sort of goal here, right? And that's what we're going to kind of get into, right? So things can get survive, right? And it's always comes from like famous focus, right? So and thread choice. And we're going to get into all of this, right. So we just kind of talked about like how like the where that guy focused on that what he thought from that told the girl who he thought he was like, why are you if you're telling these great things, why are you still single? Where he where he focused on what he thought. That was how he read that tells her who, who he thinks, who he thinks he is, right? And the world that he lives in. And you can see in that earlier example, like if he's trying to think of everywhere, Oh yeah, how can I hold frame? What can I say back to that, right? And some sort of cute thing. It's all encapsulated inside of this world where he feels he still has to respond to this affront, this challenge of why are you still single, right? Whereas instead, he can place his focus outside that and focus on that as a compliment, which is what he should do because that's what it actually is, right? So as he places his focus over there, that says like his the right choice is going to be driven from that, right? So the way he could do that is he would say like a correct response to that would be like the girl's like, well, if you're so handsome and rich and all those other things, how come you're still single? You're like not that handsome, right? Like that. That's a better way to do it, right? Because like you're, it doesn't this is not being on being, not being confident, right? It's because like, why are you still single, right? Like I'm not that. I'm not that handsome like, but that's a way of saying like thank you for that compliment, sweetheart. You know, like in a, in a, in a polite way, right? So I'm not just being humble here. I'm saying that in a way that the flex down on it, right? So that's a that's a really good way to do it. Our thread choice, the fact that our mind was thought to say that, right? So thread choice is let me get into this, right? The fact that your mind was even in the place to think of that says more than what you actually said, right? So I just said this, but it's not that it's the decision for my mind to even be thinking about the fact that you were calling me handsome is much more of the focus here because I know that's what the reason that you the reason why she said it was versus all thinking that although that was a reason to ask why I'm still single, right? I know that, right? And then the read comes from that. So what is thread choice? Thread choice is basically if you think of everything you could have possibly said, like you're about to say something, there's a million things you could say. You could talk about your like your nothing has come out of your mouth yet. You could talk about suddenly your grandma, your dog, your job, like the Houston Astros, like you could think about any. You got a whole realm of anything you could possibly have said, right? Instead, you chose to say that right? Now think about it. The fact that what you said next tells everyone where your focus was at. Like if she says why are you still single? And you're like, did you notice that the Houston Astros today had a game right when there's about to be a hurricane outside? That would tell her where your focus is at. It'd be kind of weird, right? Because it'd be an insult to her being like, I'm not even focused on you at all, at all. All. That's like almost, almost like super big insult. But it would say that's where your focus is at all, right? Instead, where we place our focus, we can say it on something along the lines of like where we're focused on the on the complement part of that right? And that's where our mind is, is latched. Whereas instead of we choose, you know, to be focused on the side of it. This is this is a challenge to me that I need to prove myself to right. That's that's bad. So thread choice is what we chose to say out of everything we could have said. And if thread choice tells the world where our focus is at, and because of that, it tells the world who we are and most importantly who we think we are in it, that's critical. So one of my favorite examples of of thread choice, right is from the movie Pirates of the Caribbean. I'm sure you've heard me mention this before, but like, it's like the the why is the rum gone scene, right? She's coming out there and she's pissed as shit. You know, Captain Jack Sparrow for you know why? I don't even know whatever reason, like she's mad and she's goes on this long mega rant on him and like the only answer he has back is like, but why is the rum gone? Right? That's a perfect example of the right choice and focus choice. His mind has been focused on the rum the entire time, the entire time, right, That's frame. That is frame right, is because it says like no matter what all this other stuff that you were worried about, you cannot get a emotional reaction out of me because what you have like who you are in this world to me is so lower than rum than rum right, but I can't get my mind off of rum right. That's hilarious, right? And that's also it's also vibe, right, because one of our things in game is what we're going to do is our mind is going to be so focused on vibe that it's hard for us to get it shifted off of that onto the fact that wow, we might actually have like a girl who's into US, right, like that's. Relatively low, relatively low in our intention hierarchy, right? It's not that big of a deal. Whereas other guys, Oh my God, a girl likes me that's so big that he'll just throw vibe right out the window. And he's willing to tolerate all kinds of like poor emotion, sacrifice anything he's got to do right to make sure he doesn't lose this, right? And that, that that's different, right? So where we focus and where we where we place our focus and the hierarchy in which we focus things communicates a lot of our individual value, what we how we feel about the world and how we feel about where other people are slotted in our world, right. And this is a really good way to to promote and kind of demote people sometimes whenever you have to. So what we before we get into like what paints against the Bible is this a quick recap. I know we talked so much about vibe. We talked so, so, so much about it. And vibe is generally a place where we're placing our attention and focus on things that create good emotions generally for us, but also for others around us, right? We're not trying to create good emotions and other people around us, right? And when we do, we're kind of doing it because it makes us feel better, right? Not because we had a goal, right? But generally it's focused around things that are, that are fun there. It's like it's kind of a constant question of like, how can I make this fun for me, right? How can I make this feel better for me, right? Like it's a playful, it's a playful kind of thing. And it comes from an energy of us being so satisfied in the world that it's just like, yeah, you know what, I'll have a coke. Like everything's just like you're just, you have everything. And so you're like, cool, I'm just going to chill. Like I'm just going to think about the fun things that if I had all the money in the world and all the girls in the world, everything else, right. Like, yeah, you know what? I actually think it'd be kind of funny to like, you know, think about, you know, why why don't we have 750 piece puzzles, you know, like, like, why does it got to be 50 and 1500 and 1000, right? Like, who makes these numbers, right? That's like a a vibe kind of like thought process where you're just thinking about that yourself and self. It's self entertaining, right? You're kind of creating an energy that is you're playing the music to yourself that you want to hear instead of trying to play the music that other people want to hear. And because of that, they kind of want to hear your music because it's authentic, right? So anyways, that's what vibe is and and generally in vibes, like that's what people are doing is they're generally trying to find a way that they can kind of make this more fun for themselves, right? Like what do I get out of this? Typically it's either a logical goal or some sort of emotional goal. And if it's a logical goal, like the vibe can't really give you that, but the vibe can give you an emotional goal if you're just here to be happy and feel happier, right? Like that's and express yourself and feel more self fulfilled. That's what the vibe exists for and that's what we can give, right? So get into like how things panic survive. How to survive a teasing conversation All right, So guide asked me. He's like I had a girl like talking about this conversation that we just were talking about. He's like I had a girl tease me once about having other dates. I got defensive qualified myself and I lost her. Like how could I have treated that? It's a great example of this. So like, if you think about like what first thing, what kind of like mental process does a question does a girl saying that come from right? Like think about it, get in her mind and think like she's feeling good. She's in a vibe, right? And she starts, she says something about you having other dates. Think about what it takes for her to get her focus there to think of that thread. OK, Like it's not a natural jump, is it, to just be like thinking about your other dates all of a sudden? Like it's a weird thought process for her to just jump to her thread choice, right? Tells her is where her focus is at. So it kind of tells us like, OK, why did she say that, right? And women are always asking this about men. Why did he choose to say that? Why do you say this and not that, right? We got to say things. Same thing about her. So why did she choose to say that, right? So one thing is either just the fact that, you know, it's a compliment, right? She's like, you're attractive and you're cool and you're fun. Like I know you have lots of dates. I can see it. You know, that's cool. It's a compliment, right? Or her focus went there and that that would be like that would be like, if she's doing that, that's like her kind of like qualifying us, right? That's and typically she's doing that because she's saying like, I like you, you know, so that that's a good thing. And that also can fit in vibe, right? That doesn't paint against vibe because that actually can be in vibe, But she says it for that reason. Like if she's just like you have so many dates and you're like, you know, hey, we, we are popular girl, right? Like that's a great way I give back. Like you gave me something. I gave you back something that's vibe, right? Like we're just creating good emotions here. Nothing, nothing super serious or it could be driven outside of odd, right? Why is she thinking about my other dates? Well, she could have had jealousy as something, something that's happened in her mind that started to cause her jealousy, you know? So now her focus has shifted onto her losing me, right? She's thinking about my other dates. It's unnatural to kind of be at a table, you know, having a date or whatever. And all of a sudden, like I'm starting to think about all the other dates you've been on like this. That's not a natural thought process to to jump to the fact that you're like, if her focus went there, it's typically because she's she's now getting jealous and she's focused on losing me, right? And that breaks 5 all right, because there's nothing that's good that's coming from that, right? Like she's bringing jealousy to this table. It's a bad emotion for her and it's a bad emotion for me. Like no one wants that judgement is another one of these great examples, right? Like these are all things that's just like he doesn't feel good for you, doesn't feel good for me. So like, what's the thing here? You said it for a reason. Your mind is there for a reason, right? And that's always because of a goal. Always some sort of goal can be a goal because she wants me or it could be a goal just because she's feeling insecure, right? She doesn't want to feel so insecure anymore, right? But it comes from a goal. So that's that's kind of like that's the way to read that, right. And it's not the wrong way to read that is like, oh, this is her grading me and challenging me. She's giving me shit, right? Like I got to defend qualify myself, you know, like the reason that he lost her is because she knew why she said that. And his interpretation of why he thought that she said that was not aligned with that. She knew she said that as a compliment. And instead he got he, he took it as a challenge on him, right. And that's, that's doubly bad because one, it sucks. I just gave you a compliment. Give me a compliment back or something, right? Like I'm giving you, I'm giving you money, right? And then you're like defending yourself of why you deserve my money. It's like, oh, actually, I was just going to give it to you. He's just going to give it to you, man. Like same thing, you know. So it's like, one, it, it she don't like, because it's like, I was giving you a compliment, bro. And like you didn't even read that the right way. And two, it's like now I know that you're a person who doesn't feel like they just get this stuff for free, right? All right, you, you feel like you're also just, you have to prove yourself to me. Like you think that I'm coming at you and grading you, which tells me that you live in a world where you get graded a lot, right? And that everything is an exam. And so that's why she lost a lot of her attraction on that, right? You know, or if she said it because she was jealous, right? He is defensive, right? That's actually going to create bad emotions back, right? Because you know, if a girl's jealous, she's used to dealing around with guys, you know, she's typically dealing with guys who cheat a lot, right? They're going to be very defensive, right? And that's not going to, not to mention you're pushing bad emotions back, right? Your defensiveness comes from a spot of a goal itself. By being defensive, qualifying yourself that doesn't create good emotions and you've done create good emotions and her pollutes the vibe. And that's where these dates, dates tend to to die, right? Because it's like, oh, and then it's like awkward, no one's having fun anymore. And then someone's like, well, let's talk about the weather, right? Or something simple. And it's like the well, that's because the vibe's dead. You're trying to get good emotions back, but the good emotions died because you guys weren't vibing because other people had goals and that was more important than feeling good together. And that's the reason that this has kind of lost a lot of steam, right? So like, how would I reply to that, right? Like a girl's, like you have so many other dates, right? Like how do you reply to that? My reply to this would be, well, this date is currently my favorite. That's perfect in my opinion. Because it doesn't, I'm not going to focus on the fact that you're calling me out or having these dates. I'm going to focus on why I know you said it and I know you said it because you were either giving me a compliment or you're feeling jealous. And either way, if you're giving me a compliment, I'm giving you one back. This is my my my favorite date that preserves vibe. If she's saying because she's insecure, that tells me like when I say, well, this date's currently my favorite. Boom, she doesn't feel insecure anymore, right? She feels better. So either way, I've figured out what her need was and I resolved it, right? I want to be clear about this, right? Because you're like, what you're giving like, isn't that carrying burden? No, no, no, no, it's not carrying burden. Like she already gave to me. If she already gave to me, then we're good. Or if she's, if it's coming from a bad spot and she feels insecure, that's coming because she already feels like lesser, she's already feels like it's her role to be carrying burden, right? That she doesn't deserve me or something like that, right? Because if she, if it was flipped, she would feel very, very, very secure in her situation, right? So by giving back in that situation, it means that I'm already in a good spot, right? And I have a lot to be able to give, right? So this is like how we build our social vision is like we're always on the lookout for things like in US and others that paint against the vibe. And the big question that we're always asking is like, why say that? Like, why say or do that? Like like, where did that come from? Like what? Where is your mind at that? That's the thing that you thought that that's what you got from this, right? And that can be really funny because I can people use that as humorous devices, right? Like why is the rum gone? Is like, why is how is your mind even there? Like, how is your mind even there, right? But that's in a humorous way. But a lot of times it isn't that way. It's actually like that person has had an internal insecurity, dialogue, concern, something, and they've been waiting to get it out. And then finally they're like, like, because when you're like that and you're feeling emotional like that, you can't listen to the vibe. And the vibe just feels like a bunch of other people who are just ignoring you. And then you just come out and you just say something, right? And everyone immediately knows, like, OK, hold up, you've got something going on, right? That can be very extreme. Like a person is really emotional, but a lot of times the person just feels insecure. You know, it's some dude who feels like he needs to be top dog at the table and he's not being top dog and he feels like he's got a whole court, right? Because that's who his little internal identity is. Especially if it's a power gamer type. You know, he's going to be having this little dialogue and he's going to come in and he's going to come out and say something doesn't fit into vibe. It's like, why say that, right? Like, Oh, you said that because you're trying to get the attention back onto you, not because you actually thought like you were offering anything or that the table needed it, right? Like you're not, you weren't a part of the team here, right? And you weren't really expressing yourself, right? Like what you're really doing is you're kind of trying to take, right. You're trying to get that focus back onto you. You're acting like you're not, but everyone can see it because your thread choice, right? Like the fact that your focus was there, that you even thought of that, that you even said that, right? So that's like The thing is like, why even say that? It didn't feel good for me, didn't feel good for you, didn't feel good for anyone. It wasn't expressive. It wasn't you playing music to yourself. It wasn't fun for you. It wasn't fun for me. Right. Like, why is your focus even there? Why is your mental focus even in a place to think? To say that it's not natural, like a person who is happy and fulfilled has everything, doesn't naturally have their focus there, right? But they have their focus on other things, right? They're building upon other people's threads, right? They're twisting and changing things because it's just because it's fun, right? Just because it's fun and it's just play. It's like being a kid again. It's just play time, right? Doesn't have to make sense, right? That's The thing is that these guys say they can't play, right? They don't. They don't get that in there, but that's how we build social vision, right? Is like, we learn what the vibe is and we notice things that go against that current and that tells us about other people. It can be very, very small things, but it's driven by your thread choice, the fact that you said that when you could have said anything else or that you said it that way, right? So that gets back to the whole, like if she was really questioning why you're single, she wouldn't have let it with three compliments, right? Is that how you would have said it if it was coming from that emotional state? Well, it's probably not how the girl says it either, right? That's very, very important. So that's how we build our social vision. The other thing is, is that we learn that like when we do things that paint against the vibe, that's a leak in our own game. If we're indirect gamers, right? Direct game paints against the vibe, right? It's just basically says, hey, I'm just going to lead like, like, I'm just going to like straight up, like say I like you, right? And now like it's pretty clear I have a goal, right? That's how direct game works, right? That doesn't really work that well in my opinion for indirect game like you. Indirect game obviously is the exact opposite of that, right? And for us, vibe is very key, right? Because the vibe is she's going to jump in our river with us, feel the flow, enjoy the flow, learn all these great things, get all these great feelings about it, start to really like us. Then she's going to try and start to fight the vibe to get our focus off of the vibe and on to her, right? So this is what I'm saying. It's famous focus, especially indirect game. Our focus is on that vibe. And girls masters, they are masters of winning attention, winning male sexual attention. Like that's what she's trained for. She's trained to be an apex predator for the top guys. All right, So the easier she can get a guy's male sexual attention, his focus is easy to gain. He's got a weak frame. The harder it is for her to get her his focus. That's a guy who has tight game, right? And he's he's really good with vibe. His focus is always on that, right? That's great because that tells her he's creates lots of good emotions and himself and other people around tells him he's very happy, he's very fulfilled. So mine's always in the right spot. And then she's going to set about trying to get him off the vibe and onto her right onto her romantically, right? She's going to do that by adapting, seducing him, right? And then he's eventually going to start qualifying her and he's going to use the vibe constantly cut cutting back to vibe, right, as a way to say, like, you know, you've done this much, but you haven't done enough to hold it quite yet, right? Like it's easy to get my attention, but it's kind of hard to hold it, you know? And then she tries more and more and more and more. And this is a whole thing of her slowly chasing us, right? She's not chasing us in a way that you would describe it like her following you around the room. She's chasing you and that she's trying to constantly get your your focus off of whatever your mind is focused on and on to her a little bit more, right? Just a little bit more, right? That's the way that that works, right? So whenever we sell our focus easy, you know, we have a leak in our game. Whenever we're breaking vibe, right? And we're breaking vibe, we're doing things that are there. They don't make sense. It's like, why would we say that? And the reason is because our focus isn't on that anymore. It's not focused on the good emotions and everything that we can create in ourselves. It's focused on the fact that we need some sort of thing to give us some sort of good emotions, not the vibe can't give it to us anymore. Like it's like I need to, I need, I'm insecure. I need to know this. I need to know if you like me. I need to know if you're judging me. I need to know if me and you are OK. Like all these other things, right? Those are all like big time leaks and they show up very, very subtle and they show up in people's threat. It's the right choice, which tells us where their focus is at, right? So how do we calibrate with this? How do we improve this? So like people, we just got to have rock solid confidence, right? Like it's like, no, that's not really it. Like, like just 'cause you're confident doesn't mean you can read the situations the right way, you know, and you may not like it's, it's, this is the thing. It's like it, it's easy to fake confidence, but it's very, very hard to fake placing your focus where a confident person would have their focus. That's key. So we're like, I'll just have confidence in common. It's like, OK, well, we all know how confident you are based off of where you place your focus. And where would a confident person place that focus? That's hard to fake because you're not in that, you're not actually in that mindset. And that that can be very, very hard, right? And so that's why to me, like, I think that, yeah, some guys, they, they, they naturally have that. They naturally believe it's true and true. And they are able to do that with their focus. The reason that focus is so important is because where we taking information and where we place our attention is the most important thing we do in this world. What we look at, right, matters so much more because it's the most information we can take in at a time. All right? This is why I'm not checking for someone's reaction is such an important thing, right? If someone tells a joke, if you tell a joke and you look for everyone else's reaction, you only get to see that information one time when you when you tell that joke, if you don't care what that information says that that's very confident. But if you look to see what that information was because you needed that feedback, right? It tells everyone, right? So the information that you need is very important, right? So taking in like where we place our focus tells the world like what information we need right now. Like I need to know if you like me or I don't need to know if you like me. I just want to like I'm in such a spot. Like I just actually need to like add 1% more fun on top of this, right? That if that's where my focus is at, right? It tells me that nothing else in this world is really that important right now, right? It's very important. It's very, it's just so hard to fake that you can't, you can't really fake that. So for us, in order to develop this, a lot of times what we have to do is we have to go back and we got to go look at our game film. And so I said, like, you're not going to learn a lot from a girl who was into you and stayed into you. You're not going to learn a lot from a girl who was never into you and stayed never into you. What we learned from this is where these changes happen. A girl who was not into us and then became more into US, or a girl who was into us and then suddenly not became into US, right? And this isn't measured by her reaction. This is measured by her levels of investment in adapting, right? This is where like shit tests, the disguised coverage of a shit test is fake, right? You know, it's like, oh God, I got a bad reaction from that. No, no, no, no, no, no. Like, you know, you got to kind of ride through that right and sometimes see just to make sure you're not getting a disguised coverage. But if you can tell her like her investment has dropped a lot, that's a good that's a good sign that you've made a mistake along the way, right? You did something wrong. Same thing is like she went from being cold to being into you as it tells you that tells you that you did something right, right. And if their investment levels have gone up. So for us, that's what we want to go back. We need to go back and watch our game film and calibrate this and really think through this and think through like what happened. So for me, like guys fall victim to these disguised coverages. Like a big sign of this is when guys are like, I don't get it. Chicks are just they don't make any sense. Like they're just they're just bad people. She led me on like a she did AB and C, right. And then all of a sudden she turns around and she does why? And that makes no sense whatsoever. Like I'm just done with chicks and she's such a this, she's such a that like blah, blah, blah, that don't blame the girls. Like you just fell victim to disguise coverage. Like you should have been able to read that. Like you really should have been able to. Like there's probably a lot of signs that you're missing. And if you really think about it and you go through your game film, you can probably figure out what it is. Like, are there a couple a couple bad seeds? Yes. But generally even crazy people are relatively pretty consistent. Like you just got to figure out where her mind was coming from on it. Like find out like, OK, where her mind is that where's her focused at? Like, and then think through all her options. It does it make sense that her attention which is go to that or not go to that, right? Like was that really a test or not? And this is the whole game inside the game and this is everything, right? This is everything. This little like chess match about determining where is like these disguise coverages and me kind of suddenly letting her know that I know that was this guy's coverage for the example that we gave earlier, right, of how I would respond to these some of these things, right? It's like I know that wasn't you coming at me and accusing me of things. I know that that was you just complimenting me. You just disguised it as a way to kind of save face just in case. So you didn't look too eager whenever you're giving me these compliments about being enhancing and wealth and all those other stuff, right? So reading through your coverages, and that's cool because it basically says we're both socially intelligent, We both know how that works, right? So this is this is very important, right? Is like if a guy's just going out there and just blaming chicks, you know, we, we, if we're blaming on labeling, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, she's just this, she's just a that right? Had an extra because of that. Like you're missing all of this calibration. Most importantly, you're missing all the calibration above you. You're missing all this level of advanced stuff that you need to learn about because if not, you're only going to be good with girls so you can understand and read their schemes. If you just then assume everyone else is crazy. Doesn't make any sense, right? It's almost like they're just random out there. It's like no, no, no, no, no. They had a, they had a coverage scheme. Like it probably did right, like it might have been cover 2 on one side, cover 4:00 on the other side. So it's cover 6, right And then I have a man up on the outside right and it is a cover. It cover his own coverage underneath, right To you it looked random to the untrained eye, right? It just looks like annoying and stupid. You know, I don't even know what they're doing. Doesn't make sense. You want to blame, we want to blame things we don't understand. The thing is that she probably did. She probably pretty high horsepower. She probably has really good social intelligence and a lot of experience. She's had a ton of conversations in her life and she's very good at figuring out what you are very quickly and see how quickly you are to fake, right. How easy is it for me to give you a head fake, you know, out Juke you right? Or can you read through my mind? This is one reason that I actually am really good with like girls have super high body counts, right? They just have been party girls their whole life. They've had 1000 more than 10,000 conversations. So even though their body count might be like high, right, their percentage of their total amount of guys who've had on and they've banged is very, very, very low. Like girl who only goes to the library on weekends and does nothing and like she probably hooks up with, I don't know, like one out of every five guys. She doesn't have very many guys talk to her. Whereas like the girl in the club, she's getting hit on constantly, right? She might get hit on 40 times in a night. She probably hooks up with, I don't know, like maybe 15 guys a year seems like a lot. But actually, if you do the math about how many times she's getting hit on right, she's she's actually pretty low. And those girls are super challenging because of that. I'm really good at them because they have a really, really, they have a very high level of game. They're very complicated with their coverages. And I, by having done this most of my entire life with a dedicated passion, I'm very good at reading through that. And when I can read through their stuff, it's like it's already over in like 2 minutes. They're just like, holy shit, how do you know, you know all my moves, you know everything I'm thinking. How do you read my mind like that? It's like, I don't know, I don't know, lucky, I guess like right, play it off like that, but I can just read through it almost like I've got you figured out, right? And it's because of that the right choice and where their mind's AT. And then also just being able to deduce that in combination, not just from 1 action, but a bunch of different actions, right? It's like, OK, she jumped from this to this, to this to this, OK, doesn't make sense that you'd have done it this way. You had to have done it that way, right? Like it like it wouldn't make sense for your attention to go to this to this. So the thing that's common theme in those is probably the fact that you were feeling jealous. OK, so I know you're feeling jealous, right? Like that's how you piece it together and that's how you gain a social vision, right, is by figuring out where people's focus are, right? So super important, super key. All right, we're going to wrap this up. Outro This is really cool podcast today. I'm really excited to put this out and stuff more stuff like this. And I just think that this is a good example of just kind of walking through examples of like, you know, how to tie this all to the ground. Like take a kind of like a real life scenario. I know this was a hypothetical that somebody had posted. But to kind of like go through there, you know, and understand and, and, and, and help us to be able to kind of like suss out these very, very tiny granular details that help us to be able to gain that one extra edge that we need. Like I posted something the other day, it's like, you know, we just need to take that 2% win rate and turn it into a 3% win rate, right? If you do that, you're getting 50% more, 50% more girls, right? You just got to take that little bit. It's like that little extra edge. We're always looking for that extra edge, right? And our ability to read into this chess game at a deeper level is the difference between winning and losing. The guy just wants to go out and play volume. He can go out there and play volume, right? Doesn't have to grow right. And he can he can just keep flipping rocks and whatever, right. But if we want to get better and better and better in advance, like we got a constantly looking for new reads, constantly looking for new edges, reading things better, we need to get to a like we got to get to an extremely advanced level on this type of stuff. And I think that this is a good a good podcast to kind of walk through that. So thanks for listening in and we'll catch you next time, guys. Bye.