Foley Moves In with Ian!

Attention, attention, the Army of Garbage. The boys are coming to a city near you for that Army of Garbage tour, baby. Round up the squad and come on out and see the boys. Yeah, this October, we're going to be in Appleton, Wisconsin. We're going to be in San Jose, California, San Diego, Atlanta, Georgia, Philly announcing soon. We have Springfield, Missouri, Fort Wayne, Indiana, Connecticut, Phoenix, Arizona, Baltimore, Maryland, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Chicago, Illinois, Cincinnati, Ohio, and Columbus, Ohio. We're announcing more cities as well, but all tickets are available at RUGarbage.com. Get them before they're gone. We love yous. Welcome to another exciting edition of RUGarbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast, this is RUGarbage. It's that little show where you sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that it's a good to be classy. Yeah. Or just a big old piece of trash. Trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. Sure about that. We're out back at Tootie's in a new addition. She's upstairs with a bowl of Froot Loops. Uh-huh. My co-host coming in from right next to me. That's a steamroll. That's a steamroll. Don't give him a chance. Right next to me, he is the CEO of RUGarbage, international businessman, my best pal in the whole world. Wide world. Give it up. Oh, boy. Cat fight. For Kevin James Ryan, everybody. What's up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks, as always, for tuning in. We appreciate you. Make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. Now, boys are climbing the freaking charts. And obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com. RUGarbage. Check it the frick out, gang. Yes, sir. And also, check out our brand new special. It'll be out September 13th. Yes. American Garbage. American Garbage right here on our YouTube page. If you're an audio listener, go over to the YouTube page, subscribe. We're going to be doing a live stream for it. Live premiere. Yeah. We're going to pull out all the bells and whistles. Yeah. So, get on that. Plus, the new Army of Garbage tour. Yes. Which is on sale now. Come see the boys. We're coming to the real nooks and crannies of the country. Salt of the earth, folks. It's a layover tour. None of that big cities. They wouldn't have us. Doing weekends. Digging it out. Gathering the army. Gathering the militia. Come out and see us. Easy, easy, easy. Welcome to my world. What's that, Fats Domino? What are you talking about? Getting excited for the new July 4th, January 6th. Gang, we are. Can you redo the intro? That's all the time we got. Do me this favor. No. Gang, we're lukewarm excited to have our. I was excited. Okay, guest. Here with us today. He's been one of my rocks. One of my. Is that why you're sinking? I'm sinking. He's been like stones in my pocket, ladies and gentlemen. In an above-ground pool. Can you just stand up? Six feet. Above-ground pools are six feet? Mine's seven feet. No way. Yes, it is. And my joke wasn't as bad now. He's my landlord, although no monetary compensation has been established yet. I won't take it. This is such a long con he's got going on. And dude, you've been hook, line, and sinker. We're having a great time. I love you, roomie. Bought me a Stiller soda last night. When's the last time you bought me a Stiller soda? I know that's what you like. No serious comebacks. Our good pal from Beanie and other things. Ian Dew, an odd guy doing odd jobs. iandewshow at gmail.com. Email me. Look at my tour schedule. If I'm coming to your town, get me working. Find me a job. Let's go. Continue with how good I am. The best guy ever. Yeah. The best cat dad ever. Thank you, cat mom. Ian Finance, ladies and gentlemen. Cousin Ian is here. Cousin Shmean. Thank you for having me. An hour late. I like those glasses. Thank you. Which ones? Whoa. Folks. Well, he's in the slapstick. He's out. Wow. I am not wearing headphones because I just got my first earring at 41. You can't wear headphones? No, I don't want to. Yeah, because then you're not going to see it. And how are you going to give him attention? Yeah, I don't want to upset my ear because it's sensitive. I can't wear headphones. I've had my screen. I've had my scrotum pierced. Ladies and gentlemen, Ian. Yeah. I forgot what I was going to say. I'm so excited to be here. It's great to see you, pal. I haven't seen you since this morning. The morning. Whoa. And I come in, he's singing Nirvana, and I was listening to Nirvana on the way here. And I was about to shoot myself with a shotgun. We are on the same cycle. Oh, my God, have I loved it. We have our deli that we go to. I know what kind of Van Leeuwen ice cream Ian likes. He brings it home. Yep. And I know what Stiller soda he likes. Lime. I bring it to him. And I went to a deli the other night. That is completely wrong. What? I like the Shirley Temple. First of all, I don't like Stiller's at all. It's kind of whack. I didn't really like that one either. They're falling apart at the seams already. That's not it. And I'm here for it. It's not about that. It's about the gesture. Yes. He thinks of me. I think of him. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. It's nice. I gave him some L-theanine. Did you try that? I did, and I have another bottle ordered because we're running low. Chewables? Chewables. Whoa. I know you have a problem with pills. Did the Chewy Box get there? The Chewy Box has arrived. Is that for you? A little couple of greenies and a new chew toy for the big man. If my factor arrives, please let it in. It's promo code garbage. It's promo code Ian Dushow for 50% off. Or either one, whichever you want to do. Either or. What the fuck? We have been talking about expanding the network here. I have. I literally walked out of my. He was going to be one of my. Before he walked out of my. It was going to be one of my favorite episodes, and I'm going to fucking hate both of them by the end of it. And I'm here for it. Let's go. Dude, it is. It's great. Are you guys pitching shows? What's it like? Two phenoms of the industry, of the comedy industry, moving in together. I try to tread lightly. He's very welcoming, very sweet. Not the best sleeper. Which he woke me up today, which. We had a tough morning. We did. Yeah. It was hectic. Today was a tough one, but we were there for each other. Yeah. There have been some issues with sleep. Foley, do you want to take it away? Ian's a little high strung. Doesn't sleep great. Sleeps on his back. Even in my sleep, I am going. I mean, these two are fucking. I thought he was in the room. He sleeps with the door open. Sometimes. I can't. Okay. I can't sleep through the night. This has been a summer from hell. How many times? I had gout, and then I had. I had kidney stones. I was in and out of the hospital. I had kidney stone surgery. I'm fine now. What's kidney stone surgery? Did you go in and get them? Yeah. I had to go under. They had to go through my urethra. I had a stent in my ureter, my bladder, my kidney. I feel like we're those two sisters on fucking. Thousand Pound Sisters? Yeah. I like Mercedes. We're going to be like Grey Gardens in there. I'm doing fine in my life. And Foley starts dating a black guy. I'm jealous. Wait, why? Just roll with it, Tubbs. I didn't watch the show. Okay. Is that what happens? Oh, man. I thought one of them was seeing that doctor, the Indian guy. Did you leave your funny bone at the house? Yeah, can we Instacart your funny bone? Are those family glasses? I stole them from a guy who I had to kick out of a show. As a blind guy? Very nice. Because I have a pair of R's in my bag. I'm looking at a pair of R's right now. Is that his tits? Ian's on the board. No, I. I had to kick a guy out for being anisomatic, and I took his sunglasses. What did he say? Like, we don't got to get into it. The clip will come out. I animal six. It wasn't GoJews, I'll tell you that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't I'm a fan. He's saving it for his own Instagram reveal. You got to do what you can. And drum up the business. But you know how in a gang, you steal their biker jacket or their colors? Their patch. Off of their back, you steal their patch. I stole his sunglasses. You've never been in a biker gang. I've wanted to. I have a bicycle. I would love to join a bicycle gang. Dude, when I was going to AA in Delaware, living in a halfway house, my home group was a men's meeting. I got sadder word by word. It gets sadder. I thought it was bad when I was in Delaware. I said, oof. My home group was a men's meeting called Ventilators, and it was a biker's meeting. And I went there because they were rough and tumble, and they'd tell it like it is. And so I would park my bicycle that I had to ride because I got my license taken away next to all their bikes. And it was like, you know, they'd wait for me. And when I'd pull in, they'd go, vroom, vroom, vroom. You do that thing where you knock them all over in a line. What? I'm sorry. No, I was like, peewee. They embraced me. He can be very sweet in public or very assertive. I'll say that. I don't want to say aggressive or crazy. Yeah. I'll do it. I got to go home with this guy. No, I, you know, you got to put your foot down sometimes. You got to stand up for yourself. You know, it's a dog-eat-dog world out there, and I'm a cat. What are you going to do? Cat mom. Cat mom. What are they like? You know Glenn? I've heard of Glenn. Dude, Samson. Foley and Glenn are best friends. No, we were. What happened? I stepped on him. And he's fucking like real fucking pissed about it. He's like. I mean, he's got a thousand pound sister stepping on his tail. What do you expect? The thing's going to have some resentments. Jesus Christ, Henry. Oh, okay. First of all, you got to. Okay. What? So last week when I was there. All right. When I got there, he comes downstairs. he whines at the door if Ian's out Me, me. Henry. Have me back on. Henry. Do my part. Henry. Oh, my God. I just realized something. What? Oh, I was calling your daddy. What? Yeah. What the freak is going on down here? When you were gone. What, daddy's not here? Daddy going to come home and yell at us. Uncle Hank and Aunt Ian. Yeah. Yeah. No. What? Huh? You guys are in love with each other. It's nice to have someone in the house. Listen, I've been on record on the Patreon. It's sad because I get where he's coming from. Well, dude, I haven't had a roommate in forever, and I always had people. Years and years ago, I lived with friends, and then they moved out, and then I would sublet my place out to strangers on Craigslist, and it was very like, don't talk to me. I wasn't making money. I wasn't, you know. It was good, cold, hard cage. And, you know, I've lived alone for a while, and it's funny because if I live with a woman, I'm like, nah, leave me alone. And now I'm like, is Henry in the living room? I say to the cat, I said, daddy, daddy, come on, get upstairs. Daddy's coming. I'm going to tell your dad. Yeah. And now he's mad at you. He's mad at me. You're a fucking rat. No, he was fucking downstairs. He's downstairs. Ian has strict rules. He doesn't want the cat wandering around the studio, and he wants the bathroom door closed because the cat can get, I don't really know why. He hides behind the shower curtain, and then he can get locked in. I can do this all day. You two idiots and two cats? Guys, these are lava. I see his tail coming out. Pauly? Pauly, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he was doing that for a while. So after I cleaned the room out. What'd daddy say? Daddy made you clean your room? No, I cleaned it out myself. Because daddy wanted to know that. You don't want daddy to get mad when it came out. He's not my fucking daddy. I'm a friend of his. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I'm just being nice to the cat. Go ahead. After I cleaned out the room, did the sheets, all that kind of stuff, I let him come in there and hang out. And we hang out. And we're boys. And I go upstairs. And when I'm going to bed, if he's away, he's crying. And I say, you got to go upstairs and go to sleep. He goes, I'm just going to go to sleep. I come up in the morning. I give him Gucci Gucci's, all that kind of stuff. He's a good guy. He's been giving them greenies. I give him greenies. And Samson was hiding. After I did my initial rooting. When I started feeling comfortable when he was on the road, I did my initial search. My initial rooting to the cabinets. Do you have a warrant for this? Is there a sneak and peek? No, but, yeah. What? What? Give me, okay, give me, what, what, what cabinets, because I'm familiar with the apartment myself. What cabinets, I keep forgetting you have sunglasses on. What cabinets did you open? And what did you find? What were you looking for, do you think? Yeah, why was my bed made? I thought that was nice. You made his bed? Yeah. He did. But, but, but, okay. You don't get us. What? No. You're made. I bought him a fan. I bought him a fan, you know. That's not making the bed. It gets a little hot down there. Well, it's a thoughtful gesture. Okay. He was coming home. It's nice to come home to a made bed. I left, you know, Eve left, and she didn't make my bed. My stripper friend from San Jose. Shout out, Eve. Go see her at the Pink Poodle. Is that a comedy show? She was a stripper? Well, she wasn't in a comedy show. She certainly wasn't a doctor. No, but she's actually a massage therapist. She's incredibly smart. She's doing great, and she came to visit. She comes and stays with me. Sometimes just a friend, and you should have seen Foley's face asleep. Yeah, I'm down there. I'm down there fucking stretched out, getting ready to do my night nights. I got my mask on. What's going on? These two come down. Stay standing. He's got this chick with him in the doorway. I'm like, hey, I'm Henry. Foley's jaw hit the floor. My jaw hit the floor. I had my retainer in. Well, Eve stayed over, and I left to go to Winnipeg. And she didn't make my bed, which I was like, hmm. Right. And you were coming back. I cleaned out the ashtray. I like to listen to you. And I did fill it with lollipops. I keep hard candy around my house now. I'm at that age, and I have hard candy, maple candies. We're both candy guys. We're candy guys. We're in recovery. We're candy guys. Candy guys. Boom. So anyway, my cat. That's Ian banging me out. My cat, Samson. You guys are the fucking drug addict fucking Costco guys. We're hard candy. We're recovery guys. Boom. Boom. Boom. That's five free, big free relapses. Boom. Boom. We're in the rooms. Room. Room. Room. Dude, here's the thing. Hold on. Stop talking. You guys fucking stink. I'm here for it, and I love it. Double knock can relapse. Boom. Boom. Boom. That's them shocking you. Chonk. Chonk. Double. Hoxie. Chonk. Bottle vodka. Chonk. We were in pre-production for a sleep paralysis demon character of your friend who's in recovery who's staying in your basement. Your friend who's life's falling apart. Sleep paralysis. I'm sorry. I thought you guys were describing another guy sleeping in the basement. Wait. When Foley moves out. Is there a lower basement? Yeah. When Foley moves out, Dan C. Jermaine is going to move in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm running a recovery house. It's crazy. Jesus. Free and charged. He's in town for work. Yeah. He's staying in town for work. So here's the thing. My one gripe is my cat, Samson, there's a toy. And when cats- Oh, don't fucking do this. See? Here you go. Oh. Cats. Cats. This is crazy. Cats love going out- This is why I'm tiptoeing around. And bringing you gifts. No, be yourself. Cats bring you gifts. I am being myself. And there's one toy that Samson has that he plays with, and when you play with him, he puts it in his mouth, and then he trots in my bed. And leaves it on the bed as a gift. Foley- Gets jealous. What the fuck? I just- Back up. Samson's fucked up. No, he's not. He's got real abandonment issues. Samson was- You're all a little fucked up. Samson- From the outside in. He's stolen. Samson was found in an engine block without a mother in my neighborhood. He was feral, and I was the first human he ever warmed up to. I grew up petting Terry Foley. See, that's why he doesn't like you. It's too much masculine energy. He likes sensitive energy. He gravitates towards women. And now that he's used to you, that's why he didn't like my cousin Sherry, because she's a bulldyke. So he didn't like that masculine energy. Now, it just takes a while. He's warming up. He's coming out. Your cousin's a bullshark? Henry did- I hate to see what her mom looks like. Do you like Dick? No. But he did- Henry did lose the toy. I didn't lose it. Samson found it, and he brought it out. So things are fine now. Samson found it. Okay. No, Samson fucking hid it. And he knew- I was a fucking- First of all, let me tell the good people out there, for the first week that I was there, I was pretty sure that he made this cat up, because you didn't see this cat. It was just Glennie, who we're coming back around. I think Glennie just holds a grudge, and- Well, you stepped on him, man. Yeah, because he's- He trusted you, and you stepped on him. He's on the basement steps in the middle of the goddamn night. I'm coming out of the shower. You got to look out for him. In the middle of the night? Huh? What are you doing? Well, the middle of the night for him, 4.30. Well, Foley also has a penchant of really- Pension? I do not have a penchant. That's why I'm in his face. If there is one, can I get access to it? I'm a little hard up for cash. What? He has a penchant for waking, being my alarm clock. What time do you- Okay, hold on. A few questions. You guys are jumping all over the place a little bit. Sorry, sorry, sorry. What time, regular day- It's just how our relationship is. Foley doesn't live there. What time are you- What time are you waking up? Well, it depends on what I get to do for the day. I like to wake up around 10, get some stuff done, and- What is that about, Luke? What is that again? That's pretty late. Pretty late? I'm up all night doing spots. What do you want from me? He's a road dog. I'm a road dog. He puts food on the table. I'm on the road all weekend. I think you're doing spots. I got to take- I'm doing- I'm the headline on the road. I got to take a day off to catch up, and then I'm out doing sets. He's a comedian. On my travel day, Sunday, I ended up working spots at night, and my brain, the endorphins, running. I'm creative at night. I stay up late, and yeah, 10 a.m. is not late, okay? It ain't early. Okay, that's all we're saying. Well, I can't sleep through the night sometimes. I have a day job. He works at night. That's why the relationship works. It works. This is like Dorming Greg. Kibby, you hear about this underdog? Underdog, underdog, underdog. Now, listen, Uncle Hank shedded a couple of pounds. I'm in the market for some new t-shirts, all that kind of stuff. I'm a little more health-conscious. These days, I don't like the polyesters and the microplastics and all that stuff. You go to underdog, we're talking all natural fibers, baby. Do yourself a favor. They're blank tees. They got none of that polyester, none of that junk in there. All natural fibers. Yes. 51% hemp for durability. They got 31% bamboo for breathability, and they got 18% organic cotton for comfort, baby. You can feel it in the textures and the fibers. There's obviously a huge movement to get around. Get away from plastics and synthetic fibers and stuff like that. The microplastics are getting in your brain. No good. Getting in your liver. Getting in your ball. They're getting in your ball bag. They're taking over. You want to have a kid and it comes out of G.I. Joe? Do yourself a favor. Get over to underdog. Yeah, they were nice enough to send us over some tees. They're fan-frigging-tastic. They fit great. They wear well. And they're good for you, or better for you. You know what I mean? More than 450,000 men have already switched. More than 40,000 men. ordered these every single month that's a lot of guys or a lot of t-shirts the proof is in the pudding they've sold out eight times for a limited time only our listeners are getting up to 30 off over at their website that's u-n-d-r-d-o-g.com for up to 30 off after you purchase they're going to ask you how you heard about them please support our show and tell them the boys sent you that's underdog baby do it but he sleeps with his door open i sleep with my i would do the same thing and so well because the cat's going in now in in the in his apartment i would for sure yeah because in my head that door would be the worst that door's closed and that goes right to the street ish no no no my i sleep with my bedroom door open yeah i know i'm telling you oh my front yeah like you're the one on the first floor part yes right anybody i don't want someone getting in and then i'm stuck in the bedroom well that's why i got knives everywhere oh he didn't explain that it's like a medieval fucking i don't you should get a cat door for your door well no shut up that's a good idea no but he leaves he likes that we're a family yeah as i said last night on our way home yeah our home so uh i leave the door open the cats come and go you're just about to touch me and pull back i did i did i noticed i saw your eyes and uh you can't see mine but i get you yeah i uh i don't want nobody making my bed i can't sleep through the night sometimes so i'm up and down peeing you know the kidneys i haven't had a good night's sleep in forever finally i'm sleeping but i fall asleep in the couch sometimes watching uh tv or i'll just go and rest my eyes and i i just end up falls asleep first of all i sleep like a vampire what does sleeping in the room look like what's that do you turn the lights off is that you can't tell if he's in the bed or not because in the corner like hereditary if he's if he's okay if he's sleeping dracula style he's in the middle of the bed i mean you two are some freaks he's in the middle of the bed like this i i sleep but is there is there a tv on or anything you have noise you're just lights out if he's in non-dracula mode he's so turned over on the side of the bed and his his legs are so little it just looks like the sheep so you can't tell if he's in there yeah yeah and then there's a suitcase and a blanket and pillows scrunched up on the couch so if you come up the stairs and look over he's not there and then the bathroom door is always closed because we don't want we don't want glenn to get in there and get behind the shower curtain yeah so there's not a suitcase on my couch the way my apartment is there's space uh along i have an l couch there's space along there so i have their cat tree lowercase and then my my it's a small apartment and then the uh suitcase fits like perfectly there and i like having stuff fit in like tetris in my apartment i'm not i'm not dirty i'm not a whore there's clutter i'm a collector of things i have records i have little toys oddities it's like the mutter museum you motherfucker you if if i have what happened i missed it he just went motherfucker you this guy's been killing me all day he's a real cut up this kevin james ryan oh he didn't like that he wasn't he wasn't in on the fun that's it you're booted you go home all your shits in the street sleep happy she's on the sidewalk me and glenn are at the window he's no longer friends with us glenn he chose his own life he chose his own life he chose his own life he chose his own life he chose his friends and and you pull the curtain shut he fucking psychopath glenn likes to go under the under the curtain and glenn glenn does sit at on the windowsill and i i leave one of the window open a little and there's there's a screen and like i feel like i should be blinking help into the camera you like it i love it and uh when when i come home i'll whistle and glenn will hop up and put his head on the thing and it's really nice i love it knowing at some point it's gonna go so south why i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know it's good because i'm not around a lot that's why that's why i'm treading lightly and i'll be honest with you treading lightly make yourself at home of course i make myself at home yeah um i was rooting through your cabinet what is treading lightly to you though what would you do a little bit more here's the thing because i know as you said before i i have used up all my uh not credit but all my i would say that who said this i did oh yeah well i thought it but go ahead i just position where i can have another situation whether a lot of pleasantries are no longer extended to you in certain circumstances yes and living at sober house finance is another way to restart right but um i could be annoying i can cross lines i can you know be a lot um my missed phone call log is large with him yeah and um that's outside of that that's that's industry business what yeah well he's like i'm thinking for the next video i do have a good idea for a video yeah slow down yeah i have some ideas only fans um god i've lost my train of thought don't you hate when that happens it's been happening to me all the time i know all the time it's crazy but if you just rethink your thought you'll go back to it i'll say okay i'll go back to the thing he has woken me up and i have been very scared at times taking it seriously he he freaks the fuck out yeah even when i got surgery yeah yeah who are you who are you wait you did that no what no no i'm cool hold on get back to what we were saying what the hell was i talking about why were you waking him up wait no pleasantries yes okay okay okay which i still get to see and this is what would happen here's a couldn't tell lately why are you shredding lightly here's a venn diagram not a venn diagram here's a here's a drawing of it okay this will be me i'm gonna put on my glasses this will be me killing okay and i'll be causing all kinds of trouble okay outside of somebody's uh house or inside somebody's house and then what will happen is that person okay that's ian that's glenny he'll see kevin that's kevin big head kevin no hair give me a bigger just keep me here and then he'll be like dude foley's killing me and everybody knows that you know for a long time i've been uh you know kevin's responsibility or you know he takes a lot of heat for for my things and then you're really painting you being a dickhead it'd be my fault then that then i respect it i really respect it if i'm being honest with you come on foley's being a lot and fucking kevin will hear about it he doesn't want to hear about it and then he'll yell at me but you're projecting i don't know and none of this that's not gonna happen because i will not do you dirty like that no no no no go back to that so what are you worried about am i complaining to ian or is no ian's complaint would be complaining to you but i'm not driving me crazy i don't fucking do that you're not gonna because i am i'm not that guy no no no stop stop and don't fucking play me out like i am like shit's sweet and it's not it's our first fight the sex later is gonna be awesome quit saying that because it'll make people think that i don't want people to know that is not what i'm saying i like it better when no one so what are you saying about treading lightly you're making me i'm not treading lightly i'm trying to be a good house guest because in the past i've been a fucking nightmare and i am all out of credit and i don't want so you're making changes for the better and we can see progress that's great so that's why when i know ian's coming home my friend ian okay when he's coming from a long weekend five sold out shows thank you up there in canada thank you okay what kind of numbers you're doing see me this weekend in milwaukee madison wisconsin comedy on states is remember first to third nice philly november 7th and 9th helium sell that out ahead of time that is a patreon episode by the way um this is going out as an instagram video they're extending the content you know i emptied i emptied the ashtrays it's on the ashtrays i lit a candle and yeah he's got a sheet and a blanket on his bed and so i fucking yeah i you know i go in there sometimes to play with the cat um it was nice i threw a sheet in the fucking pillow and a thing on it for him okay it was nice and you know i you look at i you know i i go to i go to the deli i grab my fucking uh ice cream if you want to have an ice cream it's nice okay listen no one's saying buy him a sweet treat on a hot on a hot sunny day i'm no one's against that i just think that wrong i think the make into the bed i think is just just weird to you he's eager to please he's eager to please don't say that and that's fine and he's eager to get on his knees i just you know i appreciate it i know but i'm just i listen i've known you for 15 years but we've been best buds we've been we've been roommates if i can never made my fucking if i if you came home from work one day here let me do a drawing do you in the drawings you should see our fridge huh why it's empty posting up your drawings he ate all the He does keep looking in the fridge like magically food. will grow here's here's kevin i'm asian here's kevin no you're angry here's kevin when he when he went why are you making him when he was in philly the guy in breakfast at tiffany's there he is here's kevin when he when he worked making room oh i'm sorry i'll draw you sleeping in my basement here's kevin when he worked in philly on someone else's food can you draw that did he pass out on a kitchen table once oh he used to sleep under a kitchen table i slept in mike schvenderman's kitchen jordan raybould jordan raybould and mike schvenderman's uh kitchen table in bushwick i slept under there on a uh air mattress for six months and now you're sleeping in a bed you with three you went underground though so you're on a bed underground subterranean anyway and the making of the bed was once okay it was a nice defensive about it we just said you both critters stars our lifestyle no i'm a i the only thing that was a sad about that was that it made samson's toy go away but he found that didn't make samson's toy go away samson's hid the toy when you were gone how do you know samson hid the toy before i knew samson was real well samson's real and he's and he's hanging out now and things are great i'm trying to get glenn back fucking he'll be he'll be back you gotta let him come to you cats are about acceptance consent understanding you're not on your time you're on cat time and that's a good timeline uh last night was the first night in a few nights that i slept alone down there okay um and the door moved a couple of days ago on its own downstairs okay what yeah what are you talking about peeping tom yeah there's a ghost i'm peeping ian that's my new show peeping ian come into a bedroom near you it's haunted uh so you got a sheet over your head so that's in the back of my head i'm a scaredy cat and i'd seen a uh instagram video a couple days ago that said if you get if you get woken up at three o'clock in the morning uh like like whatever it's not uh anxiety it's a signal and i know that's dumb it just popped out of my head and and i i fell asleep last night at like how's the door moving the door like just like how's the door moving the door like just door the door to your room or the door to the basement if that door moves that's a lot of if that door moves that's a lot of if that door moves that's a lot of that's a heavy metal door no well what that's a heavy metal door no well what that's a heavy metal door no well what uh uh uh i don't know it just moved a little bit i don't know it just moved a little bit i don't know it just moved a little bit it would just be sure it would just be sure it would just be sure yeah yeah yeah just years of peyote could have been the just years of peyote could have been the years of peyote could have been the wind it could have been whatever the wind wind it could have been whatever the wind wind it could have been whatever the wind the wind you're in a the wind you're in a the wind you're in a you're under the shelter what the that's you're under the shelter what the that's you're under the shelter what the that's a heavy gust i told you not to open a heavy gust i told you not to open a heavy gust i told you not to open that window that window that window oh you know what it moved you got the oh you know what it moved you got the oh you know what it moved you got the fan running yeah and it probably you fan running yeah and it probably you fan running yeah and it probably you know i hope you got a wind turbine what know i hope you got a wind turbine what Every time you shut the main basement door, it sucks air out of the room. Negative fresh. You're getting caught up in the wrong details of the story. What kind of fan is it? A Vornado? I don't know. I went to the store. I got it for him, and I just ordered another. So he has options. What am I, Jabba the Hutt? How many fans do you think I need? Yeah, you are. No, I'm not. And it's quite cool down there with the fan. Really? I mean, if he was, at least he'd be walking. I always saw myself as either Rubber. Lando Calrissian. Shit. Love Lando. Dude, my buddy, he used to tell his wife, because she was a bad cook, he would call her Blando Calrissian. Who's this? Who was it? I don't know. Scumbag lifelong friend. Thought it was an old roommate. He's going to say he sounds like a loser. Anyway. Whatever. It was in my head. Yes. The scaries got in my head. So you couldn't sleep. It wasn't that. It just, I had this thing. I had this thing last night where I kept falling asleep for like, I went to, I fell asleep at like two o'clock and I would fall asleep for like 45 minutes and I would have this nightmare that I was in. Ian's basement? Kind of. In your life? Kind of. Oh my God. I was in a, I was in like a basement apartment and I woke up and somebody was trying to come through the window and. I'm locked out. It's Ian. And somebody, somebody was holding me down. Samson stole my keys. Hey, hey, trauma here. You're telling us a bad dream. Shut up. I kept having that. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Every time I fell asleep. So it freaked me out. And then I had another reoccurring dream three times in a row, a used dream last night from like four to whatever. And I just, I woke up and fucking Ian was standing there going, come on, it's, it's 10, 10 and nine. We go to meetings in the morning sometimes, which is nice. And then, uh, so we were going to meet at eight 30 in the living room and then go to our morning meeting. And I went out, I got coffee, I got breakfast. You gotta say meet in the living room. Like there's, you're going to get lost in the apartment and not bump into each other. It's nice to have a spot to start the day. Common area. It's not like, Hey, we're going to meet by the South exit. So we don't get lost. Right. Also, what time does the nurse come to give you guys your pills every morning? There's a lot of traffic in there in the morning between Glenn Sampson and Ian. And I'm going the other way. And the strippers coming and going. I go down and, uh, I go out, I get coffee breakfast and I, I go down. I'm like, Hey, wake up. And he's like, sleep at me and out. And I'm like, I'm whacked out. He is like, ah, ah, ah, comes to like inception. He's pulling to me. That's how I wake up. Yeah. And then, uh, and then I'm like, all right. And he's like, don't look at me. I was like, hide my chode. But I'll tell you, there's something in the air because I took a nap and I had a horrific dream about you. Did something happen to me? Yeah. Swear to God. What happened today? Today. Fuck man. Tell me. I had it. I wrote it down. It didn't come true. No, I wrote it down. Oh my God. You and I, there's something. There's something in the air. I don't know what it is. I think it's a shedding of a skin. I got my terror red when I was in Winnipeg. I pulled the emperor, which is good. I, she said, what do you want out of the terror? I said, I don't know. I just want to pull the emperor. She goes, why? I go, cause I pulled it one time and I had a great year. And guess what? Randomly I pulled the fucking emperor. There's it's new beginnings. Dolly died yesterday. So maybe there's something going on. Tell me what was in the dream. Okay. You and I were on a job in like a fire truck and we got a call. This is hot. We're firemen? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it changes. So you put in the GPS to the job. I'm driving? You're driving. We're not in a fucking Waymo. So I put in the GPS. If only you couldn't Waymo. That's pretty good. What the fuck? That chair just broke. Hey, no! You broke the chair? No, stop, bro. Yes, it's residual fat. Oh, my God. Dude, there's something going on. Where would you go? He couldn't Waymo. My chair breaks. What is happening? This is crazy. Can I please have a cigarette? No. Oh, my God. Jesus. That was fun. You got to be honest. I think that Waymo was the greatest joke I've ever told. That was incredible. And Ian couldn't take it. So he squozed his ass that it broke the chair. I thought it was a great joke. No, man. It was great. I want Waymo jokes. Not a bad joke? Yeah. Not a bad tag. Thank you. Or whatever you call it. All right. So you and I. All right. So we're firemen. Hold on. I'll take a second. That was crazy. That felt like it was in slow motion. That was insane. That was crazy to you and Luke. Not for our apartment. That was a Wednesday. That was run-of-the-mill hijinks. Can you just tell the people, because people have this idea about me, the place is. It's not. What are you worried about? And I'm not. No, no, no. I think people think that I live in Squalor. I'm just trying to be a good roommate. You've been amazing. It's a fantastic, beautiful, comfortable. Let me tell you something right now. You want to know something? You ever want to take a shower in Brooklyn? Go to his place. Good shower. The shower pressure, the heat, that. Mike Cross is the only one that had a better shower. Rest in peace. Rest in peace. RIP. Oh, my God. That's the emperor. What? That's the yellow king. Did you pull it in reverse? What? Did I what? Apparently. I don't know tarot cards, but there's an upright meaning and a reverse meaning. No, it was upright. I did not pull it in reverse. Okay. What's the upright meaning? Sorry. Authority, taking charge and leading with confidence, structure. Hey, I'm fucking dying here. What's the deal? Stability and discipline. You lack discipline. Yeah. Hey, we have a big five alarm fire and a make out session downtown. Can you give us a second? Finish the goddamn thing. I have diarrhea. It's not all about you, Henry. Yes, it is. Who the fuck opens up, "I had a bad dream about you and I wrote it down"? Well, did you not see my accident just now? I'll be honest with you. I don't know what's going on. That was crazy that the chair broke. Anyway. I thought you just fell back. No, the fucking chair broke. What'd you say? And he pulls the neck breaks out of his. And I will testify. This is going to cost you a lot. You guys, well, you've been playing this all week. This is like training day. Oh, dude. I'm Ethan Hawke. This is a slip and fall if you've fucking ever seen one. Take me for everything I got. Ow. You okay? I look, your name's been taken off of everything. You just fucking sue me. Ugh. The wood went in my kidney. Okay. So we are. Probably cleared out your stones. You owe me money. We are. What's the copay on that, eh? In. We're in a fire truck. We're going to a job. We put in the GPS, but the truck does not take us to the job site. It takes us to a biker's house and you can't stop the truck. You almost run into the house. Oh my God. We stop and all these bikers come out and they're like, "Henry, good to see you." And I'm like, "What's this?" And you're like, "Ah, I got into some stuff." "I got into some shit with these guys. We said something on the podcast and they're pissed off about it. We'll take care of it." And they take you somewhere. hate me somewhere and i'm like what's going on like no no we're just gonna work it out with henry you hang out here so then they take you dirty let's say fuck you they take you on a boat and they bring you on the boat on a stretcher and some like goblin vampire sea creature comes out and bites your neck and kills you and i had to watch and then they took my phone and gave me a tracking device on my phone i wasn't allowed to tell anyone what would happen and i woke up in the dream and like right before i woke up i was trying to fight them and smash the phone to try to like avenge and help but he died but i'm dead oh you're done scary jerry got you your weak brain let me die in the dream dude they they held me back and put me in a different room i saw you die and they held me back and then they put me in another room were you fighting this new phone were you fighting to get over there it it's not real it doesn't sound like it all right yeah i'll be honest i wasn't fighting in the dream i'm sorry i didn't know what to do i thought they killed me you weren't sean penn you weren't sean penn and mystic river i thought is that my foley in there i thought that if i if i like played it like get back and get revenge and infiltrate the system then i could get them back because in that moment dirty meth head bikers what's in the fucking hornet's nest man i gotta get out they put a tracking device on my phone i can't what do you want me to do you two don't stand a chance let me tell you this huh you don't got to worry about me in this dream world well worry about yourself then you're going i had this dream and that dream and the ghost came to visit me yeah but i always fight and i win i don't lose in my dreams i have full control it seems like it's a life right now i chased the guy it was i was being held back and fought i'm very good at my dreams well so i died you're done what the fuck does that mean google what if you die in somebody else's dream luke and i'll tell you i never have dreamed you're a loser you look at it on paper it's the best outcome yeah i put you out of your misery and you gotta you gotta get what what what i thought it's on my face scratch my face you fucking freakazoid they'd have to get me up those steps the hook from the basement they probably have to excavate i mean they're gonna make a new entrance bringing a digger yeah well no one of those no at least i saved you that gonna have to pull permits no i saved you that you don't have to knock out the wall you will have to pay for the funeral i'll tell you this i you're not gonna pay for your funeral yeah right no because i'm gonna clean him out for my slip and fall he he he's just gonna embalm you empty out and then get inside of you and wear a foley suit and cash your checks that's what he would do you know they do that with like social security they yeah that's what he would do he'd show up do that he'd show up oh you know who's great that he in finance bug man in the building is that me that's you i just did that for him that's you you what's it mean when you die in somebody else's dream oh i'm sorry i'll tell you this i might have in a 45 dollar language order hey while we were out working jealous a little bit hey can i can i make a prediction on the dream i think this is a sign that skin is being shed uh there's growth and in death there's a new beginning and i think that's a sign that skin is being shed uh there's growth and in death there's a new beginning and i think that's a sign that skin is being shed uh there's growth and in death there's a new beginning and i think that's kind of what's going on fuck that man i'm going to hell i ain't doing kind of spot on really usually symbolizes a major life transition shifting dynamics in your relationship with that person or how you represent a specific trait or chapter in their subconscious mind wait so it's about him not about me no what's it mean to me i think it's about both of you yeah it's transitional relationship you're in a transitional phase and if you continue you're gonna look hot in a dress um i will say that i'm not a fan of the show the tarot card lady said that there's a new thing that is going to help me uh get my happily ever after and things will come true and i've been working so long and there's success and i just need to hold on and keep working but there's a blockage and she goes what's your relationship with your mother and i said listen whore change the subject you fucking bitch and then she pulled the emperor so there's something in the air man it's good it's good yeah my demise sounds like no sounds like it's not all about you and how bad it is you're a vampire you're gonna live forever fucking chill i would love that dude think about how good our lives are man you just want to watch everybody die things are great we're getting up at the crack of dawn going to meetings at night we have debriefs it's good you need this i had a rough rough morning you did i need a i need a big nap you need a cigarette no right now you don't but how how kind of i'm sorry oh my god you're just staring daggers at me if i wasn't turned on before i got luke well i missed it i got you were staring daggers at me i got daggers what are you in the russian mob yeah flemmy what'd you have to say flemmy ryan flemmy kilmster i don't like this hey flemmy motor get no head what the i forget what i was gonna say something mean you were gonna probably have you seen the program i will say i think my place is a good respite from the daily grind it is a bit of a spider bite as well i'm looking at a fucking black widow over here i think it is a good place for positivity growth new beginnings setting a foundation getting structure waking up in the morning going to meetings spores molds and funguses i collect them all print is dead um you go get a court order and i'll sue your ass for wrongful prosecution what's that it's ghostbusters um uh i kevin i do think and it's good for me too because i need structure i gotta go dude listen i'm on i'm on paper meetings i've been feeling amazing dude so you're helping me i'm helping you that's what it's about it's about and it's it's a new beginning it's a dawning of a new era shout out to specials it's a great song i've i've it's not lord of the rings i'm on record i think it's great i think he's i don't want him to move out that's what i say either do i everybody here says this is the best version of him we've seen in a while we think it's very good we think it's you were just trashing me walking up the fucking street about what that's a good question are you about what what are you doing to my friend tell him tell me yeah see how well you're doing it's two on can you forehead no he slept is it about this no i'm kidding okay he's i was late to stop his podcast we recorded a couple weeks ago before you had moved in with ian yeah oh that's right it was so you've been on time since you've been living with ian very good yeah dickhead yeah yeah can we get in there hey babe what if i stay over one night a week i'll bring the baby i've got another room i gotta clean it out it's my dorm room it kind of is a manifestation of my depression but that's i'll think we'll work on later i thought that was house business i don't think you're gonna be telling everybody about that sorry my my office which i offered to clean out i'll clean out i know it's we'll work on it but i do think that this is you are the best version of yourself uh now in a structure i honestly like all jokes aside it's really helping me i didn't even hear you make a joke this whole show go uh i don't like that what's that slimy motor get out of my tire hey take it easy what are you talking about uh no i i i think it's great it's helping me it's helping you i think it's fantastic i think you should stay longer enough of this fluffy stuff all right fats domino what the fuck you want to talk about let's get into the hard stuff okay yeah after you shower take your hair out of the drain i'll tell you that that's not my hair that's his pubes who has black curly hair who's got black hair it's not curly mine's brown but he listen he comes from the point of where that he lives there it's not there this whole time you move in and there's hair he's got it he goes it's clearly full let me ask you this how many times have you gotten to that shower and that hair wasn't taken out of there the hair ends up in my hand when i run my hand through it it doesn't end up in the thing no he's saying how many times have you gotten in the bath and there's been it in the shower one two five couple i'll never happen again i promise you thank you just clean the fucking drain out after you i do all the time well i've cleaned the toilet i've taken the trash out that was nice yes you're earning your keep how do you feel about him using your bar of soap i don't i have my own you have that pink soap yeah i've been using it oh okay yeah how do you feel about that i don't think you like that i haven't been using it you like using other people's stuff you don't like when they use yours you know i have the loofah have you touched that loofah i have a loofah on a stick i use never he's been on record of taking that and using it on his grundle not that one specifically but he likes that no he likes that i'll beat the fuck out of you he likes that with the okay that guy just fired me let's go hey make fun of me for my phlegm relax a little bit will you i'll do it again okay everybody chill i washed my feet with it once but i didn't know it was yours who the fuck else was it samson i'm kidding glens no i don't know why but something happened where my beef tallow soap is uh has been gone you gotta blame one of the cats for that that's beef tallow soap i was making eggs with it i didn't realize i was i was i wasn't sure what you used shout out my ex baby girl from uh up in vermont she brought it to me special tallow soap i was not using it because it was the one last remnant of our relationship oh it smelled great did you You empty a container for me, huh? You heard me you empty you use the last bar bar and you did it till it disintegrated Yeah, like you know how when you use the bar so I it like I use the air fucking seven different soaps in there I don't know what this case crazy. Well, was it yours? No, no, it wasn't yours to use Yeah, that's what I would say. You got a lot of real estate to wear it down. So Location location location, that's a very smart fat joke. Yeah, thank you I'm a new guy with this earring. I've listened. I really feel like it is I'm like I would say you're the emperor I owe you a nice bar soap. Yeah beef tallow. I owe you a nice bar soap I'll make sure the beef tallow which you can only really well cheap could only get it in her town in Vermont I bring her out and fucking Manhattan Brooklyn I get it over there. I Don't think you can I've looked for it on Amazon Come on Luke in Manhattan. Oh, sorry. You have to Google something. Come on Foley You look For her we'll call babe pick in the city What I like didn't know about well, I liked it. I Really honestly though. Do you think okay? So this relationship we're joking. It's fun. It's working Should we poison the well by turning it into content or should we just continue living our life? Yeah I think you should continue living your life normal. Yeah, I Think maybe a fun video every once in a while like that that idea I have so I had a video of me I feel like you're pitching me for finance I got this DM at four. What did you see that? I was on Instagram. Well, I saw it No, but I saw that you saw and you ignored it But it's kind of his mo there's so I took a video of me Spinning my cat around and then the next shot is a 12-pound cat the actual Shot of him getting held like and I think it'd be funny to recreate that with Foley and he thinks I could have him out like That you can't he's got hollow bones. Are you crazy? You have a better chance a man? We'll we'll we'll cheat it for the camera. We both work in Hollywood. Come on tires kids live in Brooklyn It's a new Hollywood. It's Holly weird. It's only weird Okay, huh, can we get back to the cabinet go for it was there a little scary your cabinets I Just don't know. What's what? Well, you gotta get used to it. I would like to I'd like to clean out the fridge for you. Is that okay? Is there anything in there that you don't want me to throw out? No, okay No, you can what's in there. Do you think you had a ball? There's some old fresh juices that have gone down on my celery juice. Yeah. Yeah That's tough. Yeah some fruit. I Threw the fruit out the other night. Oh you did. Yeah, cuz I instead it the ice creams nice But I'm trying to really work on my diet. So instead of ice I treat myself every once in a while, but I do Shut up Luke. I I do yogurt with a little bit of honey fruit and some granola just doesn't scratch the itch I just feel like I'd rather I'd rather Once I start with the honey, it's like what do you know? I blink and the whole fucking pints I think that's that you just gotta do that and accept that. Yeah. Oh, I'm like if I'm like I decide I'm getting nice I did two days ago. I'm like I'm getting I'm gonna fucking crush the point really throwing the lid out right away I'm not I'm not I'm not fucking I'm not fucking dropping dead someday going to hell for eternity and fucking worrying about fucking that I crushed the whole thing of fucking Jerry Garcia, I know like publicly I'm like funny, you know what I mean? Haha guy, but I very much have like a lot of meanness towards myself and I'm very very Mean and I don't treat myself. Well and any excuse to like shame or feel anger towards me. I use If I do that with a share, that's how you what the fuck I'm gonna give me a cup of coffee and a heater Fucking bed You think you can be vulnerable with your friends, I'll say this right now we both share the same thing we're both underwear. No We're both addicts we did that, you know the the addict I thought you lived in the basement guys Can I move in please that's why he's the king of the slams Rod Yeah, I didn't mean to cut you off. I was gonna make a fat joke, but I decided not to nice. Yeah Yeah, we're both like that Check my files But that's a healthy vegetable king of the hand the hams I don't see even in my little stinker nests I'm trying to be nicer. Thanks, but I'm a piece of shit. I'll tell you this about Ian that basket comes around at the meetings You don't you're supposed to you donate money at these things. Yeah itself self Self-funded. Yeah, how what do you drop? We don't accept outside? Contributions, what are you dropping? I don't know Blake. What's standards anonymous? Yeah, but people know He knows well fully drop like a church. Oh, yeah. Oh, he's a girl on a first date. I don't have I don't My celebrity presence is this presence is a presence old fucking moves around Jesus Christ That was today to say you sat next to me like we're in a packed movie theater I did drop my phone twice. I was having a rough morning. I also started crying. You didn't notice that Really I told you that you are I noticed it Then I cried the whole way in hmm. I think it was that vape. I think there's estrogen in that bro I'm telling you you gotta stop vaping. Do we're trying to get them back on the heaters? That's right being diesel You want to tell him? Come on, man I gave my vapes that throw this out for me good now start on these. No, I don't know why I swear to God I told Ian I quit smoking anyway. What why yeah, why cuz it gives me I don't feel well when I do it and I get a headache and I don't want to smell like cigarette You don't smell I want to apartment smell we smoke in there. Does it smell like cigarettes a little bit? Yeah, you fuck. Have you smoked in his apartment? We just had a cigarette the first Okay, well when I was shooting that one thing I was down there ripping heaters. Oh, I know I know it's my space gotta make contact. Well, you know thing you're not gonna have your show coming out I mean is really gonna take the world by Cold can't show That's under wraps under wraps. He can't talk about it. Obviously, but I'm very excited I think that's a new thing the terror which told me about that will Skyrocket me. I know I know It's it's how stuff cool personally against you. No, that's a listen. Will you guys do what you do in the house? That's him, you know, I think that's great, but truly, okay That it did smell like it's not I don't care. Does it smell like smoke when you walk in? No, are you lying? That's all the time we have we are we are two crazy people. Yeah, it's great. It's great, dude I honestly living with people you know, we're not lying. I enjoy it buddy. I appreciate you. I love you You're the funny you come a dude. We we can put a fucking tent in the living room We're coming over to do the pot at some sleep like to push the spec leap over He's not gonna sleep there Yeah, I have a wife and kid to live in the city. I can't just say hey I'm gonna hang out my two junkie boom boom friends. I Got shit to do guy They're not looking for roommates at 50. All right, some of us locked in a little earlier Sit around smoke cigarettes and play with the cats sure do it. You don't like cats You're allergic dude, and that would stink if you were in there and you slept with your door open Do you know? I'll be out of there in two hours. Do you have to fuck up? To the book. Oh, do you know how many people come in that are allergic and they don't get allergic to Glenn? I'm fucking guy what a cat says. This is Glen is really a dog. He is a dog or doesn't exist He is the closest. I don't even know if I exist Fever dream and I died fucking Vampire mermaid - hey, no, I overdosed a computer duster in 2008 I never the same I used to be a Dust one time I'd one time did I did dust and I thought I figured out the secret to the universe and then I couldn't remember When I came out of it, did you keep doing more of it? I was convinced how to get the answer Did you see were you doing math equations? Once you start doing math equations when you're when you're high, that's when you're like, yo, it my brain is slipping. Hey Never done that. No I don't do math pencil me in for the sleepover for sure now wait Glen is a dog. He's the coolest. That's I got Judy comes when you when you whistle. So does Foley Hi boys I mean, this has been great this little, you know roommate powwow we've had but we do have to wrap let's get into it the next segment That's next month. How are you guys getting home together? Why I've been trying to get him on the city bike And he's really reluctant. I get that why I mean I get but I you know He's a bees a bigger older guy. He hasn't been on a bike. He's not the most active I you get that you get the electric but I'll ride on side of you to protect with the cars It's dude. It's it's a you trick yourself Thanks I'm not riding this listen New York City I'm like, hey, let's walk to the meeting 15 New York City in an uber in Manhattan Okay, but you're Brooklyn, baby. I'm in Brooklyn fucking Brooklyn Street ride your bike all you want in Brooklyn No, I do it in Manhattan. You ride your bike all you want in Queens. You go up to the Bronx, you ride your bike, okay? Who the fuck's doing that? Are you crazy? Here's the thing. What do you want to look like, Swiss cheese? Here's the thing. Do you watch the news? It's been writing together. Here's the way I feel about this. This is a compromising thing. This is Manhattan. You want to walk, walk. Otherwise, this is the modern day Rome. This is the fucking capital of the world. What? Get the fuck out of the way with the bikes. No, fucking keep your head on the swivel. Pay attention where you're going. Actually, this has been one of the worst weeks for cyclists in the city. Multiple people have died. It's a problem. Nobody's paying attention anymore. Yeah, so why do we want him on a fucking bike? Ian's. Are you garbage, Kevin Ian? Ian's going to start poisoning you. You're trying to get me out of the way? I've been. We thought he was trying to get you out of the way. Yeah, he's going to be poisoning you. Dude. Slowly. Are you kidding? My stomach has been burning. Put an antifreeze. He wants you to get back on the cigs because he's going to be dipping them in antifreeze. I'd be putting antifreeze in your sleep. Coming out squeaky clean. Guys running a perfect temp. I haven't had a fever. Ian, what are you promoting? What do you have? Yeah, everybody strap in. IanFightAnts.com for all my dates. Everybody come out, have a smoke, hear a joke. We're having a blast. I'm loving seeing all you guys out there. September 1st through 3rd, 3rd through 5th, Madison, Wisconsin, Comedy on State. And then Charlotte, North Carolina, September 17th, 19th, Dallas, Texas, October 1st to 3rd, Addison Improv. Let's sell that out. Philly, November 5th to 7th. And then I'm going all over. Just announced Cobbs Comedy Club, December 16th. And Sacramento Punchline, the 17th to 19th. And then I'm closing out the year, Pittsburgh Improv, December 31st to January 2nd. You had a big audition yesterday, too. 27 dates are coming up. Yeah. Fingers crossed. That would be nice. Ian doing odd guy doing odd jobs. Out with YMH every other Tuesday. YouTube.com slash IanFightAntsComedy. I'm having a blast. IanDueShow at gmail.com. If you have a job out there, you want me to work with you, you have a lead, let me know. I don't like being alone. And iAnimal6 on Instagram. And you guys are the best. I love you coming out to shows. I have a lot going on. What the fuck do you want from me? I've worked so hard for this. I haven't. I'm not pumping the brakes. I know. I'm fucking on a skyrocket in the car. You're either in the passenger seat or I'm going to drop you on the side of the road. Are you coming with me? Hey, can you pay for this? My best pal, IanFightAnts, everybody. I got a lot of easy pass bills. Does anybody have a gas card on them? Gang, our brand new special American Garbage will be on our YouTube page September 13th. Yes. Please check it out. And we have a tour that we've got to plug. We're in Appleton, Wisconsin. Army of Garbage Tour. The Army of Garbage Tour is starting up in October. We've got Appleton, Wisconsin. San Jose, San Diego, Atlanta. Springfield, Missouri. Fort Wayne. We got Connecticut. We got Phoenix, Arizona. We got Chicago over here at the Chicago Improv. We got the. Ian's looking at the days. We got Cincinnati. We got Columbus. And we got Providence. I'm not sure if Providence is on sale right now, but it will be. We'll be sure. April 27th. Yeah, you done. Hell yeah, dawg. Ian, we love you. I love you. We love you. We love this crazy little world we've built over here in Antootie's. I love being a part of the family. Thank you, guys. Kippy? I love you, guys. I love you. I love you. Love you, pal. Gang, we love you, and we'll see you in three days. Peace. Peace. Adopt, don't shop. Cats. Oh, my God. Somebody adopt me.