Foley Finds Out Kippy's Secret! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Lala land Los Angeles, California. The boys are coming. We're gonna be their May 7th at the Balesco Theater as a part of the Netflix is a joke fest. Yes, so then we're gonna be in Portland, Maine at the Empire comedy club Pittsburgh and Prave in hilarities out there in Cleveland, Ohio. Get your tickets. These shows are gonna sell out. These are great markets We love the homies and bozes in these cities. We'll see you there. Hey everybody out there. Welcome back to everybody's Podcast got them. This is are you garbage? It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a good to be classy. Yeah, just a big ol piece of trash. Yeah, it's right. I'm your host, Dave trolley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with toadies in a new edition She's upstairs having a little bit of cow chocolate. Okay My coach is coming at you from across the table. It doesn't matter what I would have said. I would have got it But he's my best pound all-way one. I love him. You're a Over you garbage on that. We're having a good time. Luke's a jerk off That's not on me I can't I can't it's really been running his mouth. Ladies and gentlemen taking shots at me Kevin Ryan my old pal. Hey buddy. Hey, what's up. Thanks for having me, man. Appreciate you. Good to be here. I look over your golf All right, I'll leave you guys to it. What's up gang? Shout out to you as always make sure you rate you subscribe when I tunes full video available new to full video available over there and spotifying a boys They're climbing the charts get your Werner ladder out and climb the mother frigging charts got to be a Werner Gotta be a Werner. That's what we're doing And then obviously the greatest website all about time WWW that patreon.com. Such are garbage over there You know our bonus content and then obviously, you know, we just announced Atlantic City the boys are going down a shortest summer One night Friday July 10th at the hard rock That's gonna sell out it sold out last year get your mother friggin ticket Do we do the hard rock last year now? We did the board. Got it. And I was a little bit classy for the boys. Yes little too Clacy down there at the hard rock July. Yeah Bang the bang thingy. I mean, how much more AYG does it get? I know. Yeah, yeah, obviously listen That's you know, that's a that's a big that's a filling market. Mm-hmm. That's a long the fucking really market so get them tickets because Everyone's gonna be down a short. Yeah, you got that hot restaurant down here 28 25 or something. Yeah, you don't talk about I know it's I know of it Yeah, mm-hmm. My brother's been there twice. Yeah, you got him in that's what you're bringing up this got him in you Pulled some strings. Oh boy Jesse. Uh-huh. You just my boy. Don't shout out to him. He's my boy. I'm like you're not our boy. You mean my boy? Really free mug. I don't know. I don't know what you stand these days. Oh, what do you mean? I mean could be with this guy Luke Don't lot to say but I love you kid Your inspiration and you know your role model me believe it at 20s. I swear to god at 27. I was 28. What hey you happy birthday. I do have somewhat disturbing news the That I think I have to share with the audience Unfortunately has to do with you Okay, I think I know where this is this is the thing you Couldn't wrap your head around. Uh, I think it's gonna take away a lot of your convictions Okay, like if you were a prosecutor A lot of the shit that you run your mouth about that you say this you say that you make fun of me for it It's gonna get washed away. I've never seen you react to a sentence. I said I don't look stuck in understand He's not and I I got to be honest with you. I don't fully understand it I do you are smoking a sig you flick to see why don't he's like three drags. He flicked a second one I just think the homies in the pose. I should all know ladies and gentlemen Kevin was a fan a big fan of the television show that ran from 1998 to 2004 on CBS Called becker You just blew the watch becker blew the roof off the becker The show about the mission-thropic Family practice In the Bronx. Was that where it took place? Riverdale I had no idea you watched becker listen that was after cheers I'm ever being like what the fuck is Sam alone doing? These fucking books So you're upset in fictional characters the characters get out of here with fictional characters and other fictional characters hang around with this adork Listen, I don't CBS What's the problem you stink that's the problem You're running your mouth like you're some kind of cool guy. You might as well be watching designing women Which I would have respected a little bit more great progress a great past. Yes. So what are you talking about? Listen, I don't I'm not saying I wasn't in the studio audience. You know what I mean? I wasn't I wasn't I love becker. I said that was a good show. No, no, no, no, let's pull it all back You said you love back. No, no, no, no, I was babies You make fun of me watching cheer or watching a mash So I want no no crazy now I make backer. I hate fun of you for me. If you don't know becker You really have to you have to like put yourself in this time and place It was like I make old Navy made a TV show It was just Yeah, it was for like shopped old Navy. It was not anymore. I don't fit anything in here Um, jokes on them suckers Uh, hold on you I will I don't make fun of you for watching mash I make fun of you for referencing for making mash jokes 70 years later than getting upset when we don't get 70 years later whatever Also, I didn't say I love becker. We were watching something and we said what is that guy from It was mocha Joe And I said and he's also from becker and you would have thought I peed in your Cheerios. That was crazy And you went you watched becker I said yeah, you're like with the blind guy like you were upset that the guy was blind what guy That guy that owns a new stand what guy owns a new stand new stand the blind guy in becker. Yeah, I don't know what the head No, I don't know what you're talking about pedaling now. I know but listen I'm not a fucking becker super fan. I never watched this show. I didn't know that anybody on the show was long I wouldn't have any problem with that. Why would I care if the guy was blind I was making for the Tommy because he has his when he has his songlaces on he looks blind You're just combined stuff. This is this is this is this is this is the defense of a man. No, I've stayed here and stood my ground and honestly This man watches becker I told you know, I've told the people out there What actually happened did I watch becker? It's fucking Ted Danson. What are we even talking? We got Ted Danson and mocha Joe in the same program yet again. Nice. They were he was before Larry David Larry David's all the time. Mocha Joe wasn't mocha Joe. Yeah, I got nothing against it. I play mocha Joe I have something to get some fact that you watched becker At that time and place in the quarter of the world like did you watch it? Did you and your mom sit there and watch it? Was it both wearing dresses? Was it a what smoking cigarettes? First of all, Denise stop smoking years before that Okay, she only did a little little puff becker. You were in high school at the time too 98 98. I was in fucking Seventh grade that's even worse man put on a cartoon Watching it's cartoon in Seventh grade. This is this is why we're differing you what's wrong with the cart? Oh, you were watching sophisticated adult contemporary comedy becker about doctors in the Bronx. Yeah Me a break people are doing the living and dying in this city not fucking cardboard. Hey, I wouldn't neighborhood in the Bronx It becker live and the one up there by a little little none of that set fits the Bronx. I've been up there late night Looking for dudes Can we get a little bit of what were the reviews of becker? See this is very funny because critically acclaimed everybody loved it But not seven graders not seven creators. I listen. I just strike it as I would need to beat this to death I just strike it as odd. Well, no now that I'm going let me see some reviews are going. I you want a backpedal? I don't listen Stop saying backpedal someone's back because I'll freak out I'm not backpedaling you have nothing on me about the blind guy Yeah, that's none of it all that up none of this You're like I didn't know I didn't even know what you were talking about What blind guy with the new stand I didn't know there was a new stand involved. It's what a backpedler would say no Crazy what do we have just how many how many rotten tomatoes? We got an 87% popcorn school bar. I just good I just I just said critically claimed everybody liked it just not seven creators. Mash only got an 82 Here we don't start that shit Don't think can't be rules Everybody knows first of all. I'm gonna becker tattoo. I'm not into a mash becker debate. Mash is one of the first of all Mash was the most watched at the last television episode ever first of all There's no need to get into a bait that the tribe is smoking and mash stinks beckers awesome. Obviously everybody knows that What's it called? What's it in that website? Get the fuck out of here with that. That's bought and sold. I think tried in owns that Are you think becker bought and sold sold fucking no that website is bought and sold yeah for movies not that's all fake For becker becker. Oh, I got him dead. They're right. You're like my wife. You're like my wife. You're a peep I'm making fun of you for saying becker like that. You don't have me up against anything. Yes. First of all, you're lying. You're backpedal and you're mimicking. Those are three tell-tell signs of these are all made up. What did you not just backpedal and and I didn't backpedal once. Okay, not once. What did I backpedal on? You made up the whole thing or misremember the thing about us getting on a conversation about mocha Joe being a blind guy and I didn't like you just said that. I don't even remember. Listen, knowing. Okay, listen critically acclaimed. And I don't think it was mocha Joe that was in the show. We were trying to figure out it was mocha Joe. Okay. I know I'm a super fan. It was mocha Joe. All right. Listen, I'm just saying you got Ted Danson. You got mocha Joe. Who else did that? Larry David. What else did Larry David create? Curb your enthusiasm. Sign fell. He knows what he's doing. He sees those two stars. Those two talents. You put them on screen. You got yourself a goddamn hit that. What other two program? What other program of those two guys been in? They're not in misses. They're in amazing shows. Okay. That's all I'm saying. All right. You watch backer. You like backer? That's totally cool. I'm sorry. I brought it up. Uh-huh. I dig it, man. Yeah. Maybe we should watch it. We should watch it. We should watch it together. You should expand your horizons. Yes. Uh-huh. Maybe there's not all cartoons and soprano. A little higher level high brow comedy about. I didn't even know it was about a family pride. I thought he worked at a hospital. It only took place in the coffee shop. Right. I don't know man. I don't watch it. Yeah. Right. I didn't. This is this is you're like one of those. One of those like Congressman who's like anti gay and then comes out being gay. I'm gonna catch you with a truck style watching becker later. What have you got watching becker? He got me. Um, yeah. I would probably say I saw I would say probably a quarter 128 episodes. That's how many there were a syndication. Of course. I think I'm not saying it wasn't popular. I'm not saying it wasn't a good show. I'm saying it strikes me as incredibly odd that a seventh grade boy was into the show becker when it was in prime time into the show. You also got to think this is because I the becker was it was like a, you know, it was coming out of must see TV and all that kind of stuff was just on. It was very, uh, you know. Yeah, CBS the fight and I don't know man. I thought you know. So it's so it's weird for whatever I say is 12 year old boy to be watching a sitcom. That's weird. You were seven watching mash. What's so what what is a little? That's not odd. I'm just I'm just grading your behavior on the other things are grading my behavior. I'll give you that. I'm gonna say. Yeah. That's a little odd. A little odd. A little odd. You're watching a world war to Korea. What dickhead. Whatever. You're watching a comedy with your family. Not really comedy. It was. I was alive for a minute. He's talking about drama. I don't know for. Okay. Getting a little weird about that. I will say this might have spawned. Kippy's alter ego. Kippy Rooney. The show revolves around becker and the things that annoy him. That's true. That's true. Hit me. Kippy Rooney. What the eyebrows on me? Isn't it weird. I don't like square pizza. I love square. See now you're just making stuff up in your back. I want all square pizza. I like both. I like having the option when I get pizza. I get a little bit of square a little bit triangle. Square is a better vehicle from if we're shooting it straight and typically has better flavors. I'm trying to think other shows that I hate it. I can't let you watch it. All fine. I think this. I think you hated that time and place of your going to must see TV shit like culture changed. And if there's one thing I know about the big dog. Hey, I'll get it. So culture changed. And then you're going. You hated what that stood for the people that watched it. Meanwhile. I'm a Sam Malone guy. Not some fucking on the past, man. Stop it. You're going. Took me a long time to adjust. I only liked him in Kirby enthusiasm because he was fucking Ted Danson. And I love them and saving forever Ryan. Let me get the fuck out of here. You also played Ted Danson in that. No, he did. Oh my god. You're an idiot. He played becker. Becker's grandfather. You don't remember that scene. One of the best. I don't fucking know who you talking to. I don't know. You're just making grants. Look, you're a sea saving. I'm forgetting Ted Danson in it. Wow, see? I don't forget Teresa though. You're on a war pass today. You are. Well, but you don't remember that. Show the cat. You don't remember that movie that came out before you were born. Was it before you were born, buddy? Oh my god. I'm in the same year, dude. It was the year after I was born. Wow. Cut the guys some fucking. That's crazy. Cut the guy some slack. I would get that's nuts. He's not like your family where he turned six. They started showing a war propaganda film. Top gun. Alright, you six birthday. We're gonna watch deer hunter. Hey, gotta watch. You'll find out what it commies are trying to kill you. I love it. Listen, my TV proclivities are neither here nor there. Of course. And listen guys. If you're a becker head, hit me up. Alright. The becker head. It was a fine progrange. Do I deserve to be ridiculed and drove through the mud for it struck me funny. I get that strange. You also got to cut me a little slack. I feel in the sense that like there was all that kind of stuff. I get it. There wasn't that much. There wasn't that much going on. This is before that. This is overweight. Girls probably didn't notice you. Go and bolt seven. This is before on demand. This is before all that kind of shit. So it was just like you kind of that was a time where you still had to watch what was fucking being watched. And if I wanted to spend any time with my father, it was in front of the television. Your dad didn't watch becker. I don't know. Yeah. I'm just okay. That's I know I listen. I know that my dad liked Hanson. What fucking girl? I met your father once. You're not stupid. You're just a nuts guy. I met your dad once. No way he watched becker. I haven't talked to him in six years on a call right now. If I don't be watch becker. I would just do it for the show. I'd be crazy. All right. Thanks. Bye. I knew it. Think you'd pick up. Probably not. That would be deferred to a voicemail that I would have to say. I wonder if you want to get together watch a becker. Got the box that is becker. Can you watch becker anywhere? That might be a fun patreon episode. We watch. We watch an episode of becker. I is rated. See if you can turn me. See if I can start from the beginning. You don't listen. I'm calling. I can't jump in. I can watch it on Pluto TV. Who's giving me to get so special to Pluto TV. Pluto TV. I don't know they got becker. They got cash. Pluto TV dances. I have done on my Samsung. And I don't know my Samsung. I am on my TV. And I didn't pay my calls. They're TV. The brand of the TV. I didn't pay that on my video. I didn't pay my YouTube TV. So sky is just mulching through fucking bits. I didn't pay. I didn't pay. I didn't pay. I didn't pay a lot of bills. Trust me. I know that. I've been watching Pluto TV. That's funny. I didn't mean a steamroll. Yeah. It's okay. What are you saying? Watching Pluto TV. What are you hanging out at the hospital a lot? Oh, practical jokers again. I do a lot of physical therapy. I just jammed up. Listen, again, neither here nor there. But I do look forward to sharing an episode or two. Maybe we'll do it on the page. I'll do a nice watch along an episode or two of becker with you. I think you would be delighted if you got out of your comfort zone and enjoyed some high brow well written, well acted, well produced, well directed situation. Andy Ackerman. I think was a showrunner or whatever. You go. What else he run? I don't know. Something big stuff. Yeah. You shot me down before. That's why you don't like it. This goes all the way to the top. Go ahead and check out becker on CBS Tuesday nights. One day today. Give me that. You have the time and it was like a time and day to 30. What time? What day? Monday? Yeah, Mondays at 8 30. Let me check. I might have been up against Roseanne. Not 98. Maybe the end of Roseanne. 90. I don't know. Roseanne. I wasn't a it was the lead in to everybody loves Raymond. It was originally 930 and then it and then it went to everybody loves Raymond. You know how I feel about that? You don't like Raymond? No. No, you're not. I can't get a truth. Be told you guys. It's Tony soprano. I mean, I ain't watching it. It's wife was a huge bitch. Nothing against the actor, but give me a break. I like Peter Boyle. I like a Brad Garrett small doses. That's a big guy for small doses. Listen for you burn any more bridges in the industry. Do I like Ray Romano? Brilliant. I got a little you can't call them brilliant than his life's work. You go you don't like it. His life's work. Everybody loves it. Roseanne. Everybody loves Raymond is not Ray Romano's life's old rosin thol you're not traveling on Thailand So you go. Oh, he's great. I liked him in the Irishman because you only watch mob stuff So you're like that's the one thing. I'm sorry Becker didn't do fucking good fellow is five, okay Mocha Joe was probably in fucking back. I didn't even have a drug problem. I'm supposed to get behind this Crazy man, you're something else. Yeah, I guess I'll sit in your wave. Oh, man Can't but talk about Marsman, baby Marsman Marsman about blocking your potential. I'm getting older things are slowing down Things are what they used to be you know, sometimes you're walking through mud Yeah, you can feel the changes of lower testosterone So I don't want to say it, but yeah, you got to put my business on front street Yeah, that's right Feels like you're hit you hit a brick wall. Yeah, uh-huh. Uh-huh. You got it all right. What do you got for me? Give me something good. Yeah, you do listen. You're like at the workouts to die it But you still feel like you're searching and calling I'm not doing any that but yeah, I'm still tankin But a lot of guys after are mm-hmm and they're still not feeling up to schnaff now I'm right there with you especially when the baby came. I was like what the heck is going on You're just sluggish the whole night in yours and here's what I learned I started taking Marsman your body makes testosterone But a lot of it gets locked up and can't be used. There's a protein called SHBG that basically handcuffs yours testosterone You become a prisoner in yourself fast you're locked inside you can't you can't break to change even if your body is making Testosterone SHBG locks it up so you cannot access it It's like having money in the bank, but you forget your pin your debit card anywhere. I'm talking about Marsman is designed to help free lock testosterone so your body can actually use it No synthetics, no needles just real ingredients that help optimize energy focus and strength It's more consistent. It's natural energy feeling. It's not like drinking. It's not like a Joel You're like oh a cup of coffee you get jittery. It's a steadier sense of drive and power motivation throughout the day to keep you a humming baby Like the tide. It just keeps coming Supports healthy T levels energy and stamina. It's made in the US and third party tested There's a 90 day money back guarantee say there's no risk, baby. Let's go right here for a limited time Our listeners and get 50% off four life plus free shipping and three free gifts at men go to Mars.com That's men go to Mars.com for 50% off plus free gifts when you check out it's also available on Amazon So empty purchase. They're gonna ask you out here to about the show tell them the boys send you a why do you we love you? This episode of sponsor by better help better help gang as you know kippy and I are both big Proponents of talk therapy there's a lot of different reasons why you might be talking with therapists Sometimes financial stress could be a big part of that hand up. That was me hand up It was kippy. You got a lot of stuff going on. You're trying to balance everything. You got the family You got the mortgage you got the rent you got the kids all that kind of stuff Sometimes it might help to talk out to talk about it with somebody and better help is the best place to start Yes, money worries often bring anxiety sleep disruption and even depression and is one of the leading sources for conflict within couples A lot of us not my you know, I'm speaking personally here I watched it growing up and money anxieties my whole life this that is this gonna happen Is this what is this impending doom gonna hit or the flag? You know the alpha that boy's gonna run in and the I want to lock on the house A lot of it's just it's spinning your wheels and it's not helping anything with better help you can get a therapist To work according to a strict code of conduct and fully licensed in the US and they'll they'll match it for you And you can focus on your therapy goals rather than going to 15 different appointments knocking on doors Hey, yeah, me, yeah, blah blah blah filling out all this stuff Their therapist match commitment will help you find the right therapists for you When life feels overwhelming therapy can help sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/garbage. It's better help HLP.com/garbage do it Dang listen, we gotta get to some freaking questions please as you know when you just debate and TV from 25 years ago You should have just took the hit and moved on you'll watch becker. It's okay Yeah I don't I don't I don't Crazy weird. It's crazy becker. We're how old were you so you were 22 Yeah, wait, I can't let it go. You're telling me you can't look at me the same I've been best resident for 15 years ago I can't look at you the same 1998. I just come back from North Carolina making big moves. Okay, you know You're a fucking huffing cleanser in a closet with your roommate. What are you talking about? Okay You get personal And then I move to New York in 99 Was right back 2008 trying to find the set of becker There's shoot becker up here. That's right. Hey you moved out. You missed out on Dawson's Creek and you shot that on a lot No, hey take take ten dances coming to New York to shoot The academy is probably the only thing took to show. There's probably 10 minutes away from his house I don't know if you're pro becker. I can't get a read. I get you don't I'm pro dancing all the way You know that Dancing from start to finish that dance has been on TV in some form or another for the last 35 years. I love Ted dancing you This was his this was his No, this was what this was his this is his only leading role That was an ensemble cast. Here's was an ensemble cast. You're crazy Why what a doubt you got what you want to live through Kirstie Alley Woody the fucking rest in pieces of the code just said Mocha Joe was on the show Mocha Joe Mocha Joe We listen. I love Mocha Joe. He can't carry 10 dance instead of school. He can't carry but he can't carry becker's lab jacket Okay Back dancing was a star of cheers. I'm not saying he wasn't a star. That was an ensemble was the star of shores and ensemble cast But Ted dancing was an ensemble cast whatever it do back. I'm not and I'm not the big you see carried it on his back This is what you do you start getting this stuff to debate these things. I don't want to debate these things I think it's weird you watch becker. That's all I'm gonna say That's fair We just unpacked why you think it's weird. That's all why I I'm just one. I think you know Because what was my kind of rock and roll? Yeah, that's a yeah listen if it if it didn't scratch your rich you ain't a fan and that's fair Okay sure got me um all right listen gang as you know and Google Ted dancing becker is one of his top projects Top project 87 87 one popcorn is the fourth project that comes out fourth project. What's the first three? A man on the inside cheers of the good place. Ooh, ooh the good place now. I like that show a man on the inside but the new one In a nursing kick rocks Why what Let's turn us to a dead dancer podcast just fight about dead dancing. I want the good playing the dead dancing of course All right, listen here we go. Uh, this is okay. Uh, this one's from $10 shareholder generic name. Love it You's ever make an ice cream sandwich with wonder bread and vanilla ice cream. It's a sweet bread and it works better than you think mm-hmm It's blue my brain. I've never thought about making an ice cream sandwich Like a what do you mean like what wait? Hold on on a cookie? I thought I thought the becker was gonna Yeah, I thought the becker was an ugly guy. You're telling me your house. No, never I've never thought about it. You never took two chocolate chip cookies Whether it be a chipahoy or If I want to have a chipahoy I'm gonna have a chipahoy or whatever and you never put ice cream in the middle Not even that I've never done it. It's never crossed my mind What that's bonkos. I know you can't find those Chocolate the rectangle ones and I can't find those wafers nowhere. That's not a wafer. Whatever Okay, hey, I think the way for a way I think the moisture in the ice cream does that I made that starts out like like a cracker and probably gets softened up It's not fucking typing. I need you fact-checking me over there fucking dick gtp You're getting it from both angles. Yeah, a scared henry. Wait, that's just the way I like it back to the corner First of all, no one's doing this to you're doing this to yourself guy Oh Cookie wafers Thank you little Germany. They call them waffles. Thank you pal. I love you My buddy cut that post um, let's really guess like them that I don't even know what that means uh that I get What you get not being able to have access to those but not making an ice cream sandwich out of a cookie at home I don't know. Did you grow up? I'm not I'm not even I'm it's all I'm like a fucking Sunday bar every Hey, you got it. You got a chip on your shoulder. You're from the wrong side of the track Luke Luke had a better life for you. I'm not saying I'm getting gents. And I'm happy for him You're not hey if you're an ice cream sandwich at home Uh, of course he did look hey, hey, hey He's half your age Growing a different town a little bit of cash. Maybe if your parents. I'm cool with it If your parents weren't derelicts and watching mash and fucking repeat every day And maybe went to college and got a fucking education. You can make chiple holy sandwiches at your house too I did chiple sandwiches at my house Hydroxy cut whatever they were called Hydroxy good gone those cookies We had archway cookies for a long time. Mm-hmm and high school the double chocolate fudge ones You know archway they're a little bit bigger and softer. Give him a retirement home talking to a guy Talking to junior - He's a friend, right? - Yeah, yeah, huh? What else pop up? - Let's see if I like that. - Back in my day, I was, I was a cheese man, not a beckah man. - You take the heat, you watch Becker. - Stop trying to yigee, you do a hit piece on me. Like I'm a jerk off, then he's dead. Yeah, you start turning the tables on me. I don't know how to argue like that. I'm on my feet. - I don't argue, it's improv. - Improv. - We're having a battle of wits. - You wouldn't know improv if I gave you it. - He couldn't hide, he couldn't smooth this. He couldn't smooth it, so sure to get out, date would abate. - I guess these. - Gotcha, that's acting. - Excuse me, Lucas. - Yeah. - Did you make the cookies at the house for me? - Yeah, there were some summer nights where we did that. - Really? - Yeah, my mom, it was like a fun thing. The crazy thing my dad did was, he did the cookies with Nutella in between. - Whoa. - That was crazy thing my dad did. - How many would he never came back? - Okay, ignored me in a while while parking lot. - Now that's weird. I got dipped in a cookie in Nutella. - Man, talk about sheltered. - The weirdest thing my dad ever did. - You wanna do it? - You make smores inside. - You don't wanna know what's great. I remember a while one time I watched my dad fight the neighborhood. - You ever do that? - He told his 60 year old you're gonna clean his cock. So sorry if I wasn't, sorry if I was watching fucking Becker and not eating fucking ice cream sandwiches, okay guy. I had some shit to deal with. (laughing) - And Becker was an escape. - Well, they simple life up there in the Bronx, huh? - Every day I dream having a cup of coffee in there. No one fizz fighting each other. - That was a coffee shop too. Jesus Christ, how many fucking shows were coffee shops? - Frazier, that. - You can't let it go. - Friends. - Just take the hit guy. - Take the hit guy. - Take the hit. - How much does it cost? - Thanks, fella. Here's the thing. When I was working at 20 Manning in Philly, mostly Latino kitchen staff would take the brioche buns that we use for hamburgers. Slice a bunch at M and a half. Fastest ice cream in the middle. Let the whole, you know, everybody have a little corner. - I get that. - Oh, I think I'm more of a, I think why I never cross my mind. - That's high in shit. - What? - It's, listen, wonder breads one thing, but I get it. It's kind of a classy move. - Sure, yeah. I just don't think it would ever be as good as the, and like, the functionality of like, it wasn't an ice cream. If I wanted ice cream, it was an ice cream. And we, first of all, we kept them, we kept the America's choice. The ones from SuperFresh on deck. Boxes at M Jones. Freezer burn like a sum of bitch sometimes. I'm a four years old out there in the, out there in the meat freeze. Smells like tuna and shit. I fucking fish blood of whatever my stepdad got on it. I remember one time. Hey, there's Mackerel got some on my chipwood. I remember one time the freezer thawed out or like left the door open. There was a bunch of fish that he caught down in, and down the shore. - Fish goes bad. - And it dripped down into the fridge. And like, we didn't know for it. I still smell it in my garage. It was probably 20 years ago. And you open the, you know, he opened the drawer where like the sodas were. - I've got the saviour beers in there. And just feel like red chal, I might have all been chum. Uh huh. Yeah, I just remember being like, I think they even like tried to save the, like we're watching these drinks off. I was lady, you're fucking giving me thatness. I'm pretty nuts. Get a shot at it. - Epic growing gills, get out of here. - Holy shit. - But the function, I always, it was just, I was like, this is gonna be a mess. I'd rather just eat the bowl. If I was gonna do what I probably just put cookies in the bowl, but I didn't even do that really. - I don't mean to be the contrarian this episode, but you're just trash. That's a classy kind of move. - Sure. - Just don't know anything about that. - No one even, I don't even think my mom knows it's legal to do that. - She probably needs a permit to start making her own ice cream sandwiches. - I was never the thing. - I don't know the food safety test. - Yeah, I mean, we were the, we were the standard briars. - Yeah, throw a little fucking pretzels in there. - I would do that sometime. Yeah, crumble up the thin, the thinned hers. I'd do that. - That's it, that's like, if we were putting pretzels in your ice cream. - Your garbage. - That's like if we were, you know, that was like, hoidi, toidi. - I remember that. - I remember figuring that out. - Yeah. I figured that out on my own. Like a fucking, like a, like a, like a T-900. - I learned in computer. - Fucking fat GBD over here. (laughs) - A little salty in here, shall we? - Uh huh. - Yeah. - I remember my dad would whip the ice cream to like a, - Oh, that was crazy. - I thought you had, that might as well have been like, fucking mixing, saccrete to me. That was, as a kid, I'm like, I couldn't get the momentum going. And then once he, yeah, he reached like eight or nine, you get the, you get the strength to do it. - Mm-hmm. - I remember one time I left the frosty of my fridge for like a week. - Like a week. - Uh huh. - And I popped that out. (whistles) - Whom are you ready? (laughs) - It was like in between soft serve and regular ice cream. - Mm-hmm. - Like a frosty, like a frosty? - Never really, the growing, never really did them growing up. - Ever. - I don't know if I've ever-- - All you do is watch Becker, huh? (laughs) - Smoke cigarettes. (laughs) - Drinks slim fast. - Drinks slim fast. - Yeah, you were drinking slim fast. Smoke and cigarettes were watching Becker. - I mean, not all at the same time. That's crazy. I'm not a king. - The force. - Really got it, soaks in you. (laughs) - Did you always say you can't date? - I'm not gonna start seeing anybody now. - For you. - Folks, so much stuff right now. - Um. - Eating lean cuisines. - I love that. Where are we, Parker? Let me tell you that right now. - Where are we, Packet? - I love that where are we, Parker. It's the absolute best. Listen, as a glass is wear, as a contact wear. Glasses, it's brutal. - Jam up city. - It really is, man. You got your sacrifice and style for cost, for durability, for this, for that. You go to where we, Parker, I'm telling you right now, it's the perfect blend of everything. - You look stylish. - You have durable, affordable glasses, and you're walking around like you live on Park Avenue. - Yeah. - I cannot say enough about Warby Parker. If you've got glasses, get rid of those things, and go to Warby Parker and get a fresh pair. - You were just telling me how much it changed your life. - That's right, I was. - Uh-huh. - It's like a gentleman. - And you go. - Parker glasses, I'll tell you that right now. - Yeah, nobody comes close on quality price and selection and the customer service to boot. I want you to buy from Warby Parker and realize, how much easier they've made the entire process. They got virtual trial and it's a total game changer. You can literally try out any glasses from your phone before you buy it. It's actually bonkos, how well it works. I was playing, I don't even need glasses. I was playing around with it. Well, you don't put them all my sun and stuff. I ain't done. Uh, when it comes to quality for the price, Warby Parker is the best. It's not even close. You just have to choose between flimsy, outdated styles, or spending half your paycheck. Warby Parker has completely changed that. The prescription glasses started $95. You can actually get quality in stylish frames. At an affordable price. Everything you need for a happier eyes includes contacts, online, eye exams and sunglasses. And right now, by one prescription pair and get 20% off an additional prescription pair at WarbyParker.com/carbage. It's 20% off an additional prescription pairs. When you go to Warby, W-A-R, BY Parker.com/carbage, do it. - Do it. - This one's good. This is from Watmeard as $10 a long time investor have yet to have one red. Is it garbage July until the oil change guy don't worry about the air filters. Just order one on Amazon. I got to put it in when I get home to avoid them showcasing your old dirty air filter because that's how to get you. - Damn. - That's a good move. - Yeah, I like it. - And what is it with the embed? There's a level of trash of being embarrassed. Where like, I do this all the time. I know you do this. Where you come up with that. You're having these conversations with the other people of some sort of authority. - In your head? - In your head of like, I just ordered it. Like, all you can just go, no, I'm not paying. No, thanks. But like, you're embarrassed that you're not getting it. You feel like you should be getting a minute of the cash to get it. - Right. - All of these things and you're going, "Oh, that guy was driving all the way there going." I'm going to make up a lie that I ordered it on Amazon. I don't get that. Did you afraid to feel trashy for saying no, right? And not getting the full service. - Yes. I think of that ilk. People of that ilk. If you say no, I don't want it. You think that that guy's going to think, "Oh, just loser can't afford it." What you can't. - Handed up, I never could, yeah. - Right. I think people that do well for whatever are like, "No, I'm not paying for that, I don't want it." - But, or they're also going. - Trassy people need to, you know, "Nah, I just ordered one, the white one." - Yeah. - I got the guy with the thing and the thing. My brother is going, "You just something." - Yeah, that's like, if the Thai one, I've gone in to get my tooth pulled. And it's like, "Well, you know what I'm going to do, is it home?" - No, we can save this. So, you know, we can do a root canal. Or, you know, let's check the other ones. I think, dude, just pull the fucking tooth. - Root canal. - I don't need to check in the air filter. - Yank it and let me get out of here. Give me three percussants and get me through tonight. - Uh-huh. - Ray Mordeket. - Ray Mordeket me through the morning. That's a weird I do that my brother does I've grown up watching people do that my mom is the king my mom My mom is the no, that's fine. We just had we just had one installed two weeks ago Whatever you don't need to worry about it Yeah, I just did that with the that handyman the came over so to tell him I got me doing the whole thing I'm like making shit. I'm gonna take I'm gonna knock this down and rebuild Yeah, you don't need to paint the walls. I'm not gonna down We're probably just gonna redo the whole thing you know what we're moving actually here's the keys relieving just did it Just broke ground that's called it's called something People that are like that. Yeah, low self esteem. I don't know. That's not high self esteem But that air filter I don't know I'm 50 50 on that does that thing matter? I think so because they bang yet that they love that well I've talked about change that that's for it. Hey crazy. I got no one but they're trained to do that because that you're they have to upsell you selling it. Yeah, well the ever I've talked to a mechanic who's like just hit it with the air hose Blow it out and you're good. Oh because they can fucking that's what I hear I listen I don't know dick about cars but I grew up with mechanics and they go Yeah, just hit that with the hose clean it up for you, but you can even tell him hit it hit me with the hose There you go now. I just hit it with the hose. I'm gonna replace it next time. That's what like The guy go the guy go. All right. First of all the guy probably can't off list. Oh you and a guy have the same amount of money well grease grease him for that Sometimes those pet boy places You can't get to the guy doing the job. Oh, yeah, they come up with that fucking that that clear folder with your with your Fuck man. Hey, yeah, dude. I want to go to a concert. You give me a laminate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I got it right here They do they put like the profits like it's not good like he's telling you I can't see. I always To watch becker. I always just get into the garage Even they said don't go in there. I always get in there. I pulled a fucking car in and I want to know who's doing it. Yeah, I don't care about it. See if I need something for a little To show them. Oh, let me show you where it is like if it's a hole in my tire. I'll show you That he got eyes on it. How much is an air filter 10 20 bucks? Yeah, let me talk about you It's a principle though. I'm very much. I'm probably getting taken. Sorry. No. Yeah, uh for sure and you don't you know I somebody said it to me one time everybody loves the buy no one feels like being sold no one wants to be sold You love the buy. I hate being sold love to go. I bought that not he sold me a car. I bought a car Right. You don't want to feel like they took advantage of you. You took advantage of them. Huh Which every dirt bag wants to go like I beat him up on the thing. I got the thing turning the last time I was sold We'll be right back Becker everybody 9 30 CBS. I'm trying to think sold on some All right, let's see here. This one's from Stevie six fingers $10 squad Never had one red is a garbage to do your bachelor party two days after the wedding because you don't get paid until then and also hope and to get some cash from the guests Wow, that is a dirt bag level of trash. I don't hate it though. Listen hear me out here hear me out If you're a dude The bachelor party is significantly better than the wedding. Oh, I think it's hitting the bachelor up party Not the videos I've seen That's Pecker at 8 30 It's funner you just you if you should you intend boys in your party and or what you're going to a fucking You know a lot of people are doing like I'm doing a cabin in the mountains or we're gonna go to AC for the night or whatever It's funner So I would say like Because when you're at the wedding you want all the boys like to remember when rugged Donnie shit himself and the like you're talking about stories from It's never as there's roads in your family there ain't no fun So I like the idea of that afterwards, but that's pretty tough a few days after you get married and tell your fucking new wife Like hey, I'm gonna fucking I'll be the link. I'll be in Vegas for three days. Yeah, I want to roll out Vegas is probably a tough cell You know cuz on a prostitute sure, but um also you're not using that money then for the honeymoon sure Why didn't listen that was I mean this guy's waiting for payday. That's great Yeah, your half is yours. Have his mind you go wherever you want. I'm going to fucking that Saratoga. That's my 25 hunch Uh That you know what else is really trashy that my brother used to do and I've had friends do a good amount I've thought about it. I just never had the the funds to take to do it Was to go on the bachelor party, but not the wedding To be like a guy a party with like I party with that guy. I don't want to map, but like we're not close enough to go to the wedding Wait, do you want it to become this guy now wanted to become this guy, but I ran in circles with a couple of guys like that Really go to the bachelor party and not the wedding because they're like oh yeah, we're all going to fucking Whatever get off don't let come tell doffy to come down crash with me. He's a good time But it's like that's not that's not going to the wedding. That's not going to the wedding Wow, yeah, I brother did that a couple of times Interesting Yeah, Pat's done it a couple of times Is the wife like what happened friend doffy that you went on the seat and invited him to win? Not tough tough. That's not a wedding guy. That's not a family guy Keep duff away from grandma Uh, I think my fully Pat and my other boy used to take each other as plus ones to weddings just a party and like Not bounce it off of The bride and groom just like you inviting me with a plus one. I'm bringing my home. We're gonna get fucked up and yeah Whoa, and like not like what would the other way who do you do this with What it'd be Stotsky and who else my other boy. I'm trying to protect you know Yeah, gotcha Would the other guy know the bride and groom to an extent. Yeah, but like definitely didn't make the cut of the wedding You know what I mean, that's awesome. Yeah, they did it multiple times didn't make the cut of the wedding Notty like was it even Considered it's that way it was Pat's friend Like Pat brought his home Pat brought his boy to a wedding just to be like, oh, it's an open bar. We're gonna go get fucked up We'll put on suits get fucked up. That's so fucking awesome. Yeah, like multi like in our early 20s. I was happening like Addition a man. That's a good time remember be like what's he doing here like five years He's hitting he's hitting on the bride You know, that's my boy Randy He's with Pat you don't want to get married fuck You work out at the crunch gym down the street, right? I think I seen in there glutes this guy no way You know, I bought that I'm just fucking weak She beautiful girl. Yeah, crazy. I remember being like Even in like the height of our party and drinking like that. I remember being like this feels This feels Very young. I'm like uncuse stomach. Are you not bouncing that off to get them? You know, you're not bouncing that off the couple Seems crazy. Don't you have to do it in the in the invitation. Yeah, no, it's just plus one I'll be as you know, I regret to inform you or like I'm accepting plus one like mr So-and-so in guess yeah, we will be attending and then maybe you know, maybe there's sometimes where he's like He was going to bring his lady and maybe they broke up or she couldn't go or just like whatever it was But it's like hey, I RSVP with a plus one I'm not tied down at the moment. Oh What do you guys we go grooves that I would never think that would never occur to me. No, it's a great move You have to have friends if you get invited to a wedding sure if I was a back then I did dickhead It's been all the time with you Oh, yeah back then I gave my life up for my heart Can you say that with a string face I did I did um and seen who he is good um I would be I do the fucking the door thing It was if like say I got invited with a plus one and then I had a break up or whatever Or was single and I got a plus one I would like take some you know date and do that And play fucking Johnny fucking dork all night Bring your fucking boys with you. Yeah, it's a squad of a good time. Mm-hmm Such an idiot when I come to that stuff Genius now back to this business with the That's a party Yeah, it's trash. Yeah, it's very trash. I would you know I was trying to make go come up with a scenario where I'm like oh, it's cool and I get that it's cool, but it's like That's a tough look all around But hey you got to do what you got to do sometimes. Um, I did judge Minutes don't even have to wedding melee. How's the bachelor party? I'll know 10 next weekend now Thank you I just got invited to a bachelor party. Is that right? I did Whoa, uh-huh Can't attend Why one it's in the Dominican Republic later You show up I go down to dr now is too hot. Uh, yeah, it's just like I mean the I mean the situations too hot I'm going anywhere in the Dominican Republic and that's how to get you to get you down here How many boys pop you down here? Oh you sure? Yeah, a lot of people might have me out of the way Yeah, I'm walking down this sidewalk Yeah, no, I know um yeah, I just it's like it was also we've reached the age where like that got floated through the group text and shot it to my boys They listen and then I'm just like it was just like you're not talking about like 40-year-old men with jobs and families and it's just like I can't I'm not going to be able to swing getting three or four days away, you know plus with that many plus There's people I don't know in a group text getting all fucked up. Uh-huh coming back on like a Wednesday Dian yeah, it's also like, you know I Think there's a you've seen it everybody seen it. We're like guys get to a certain a they they get out of rhythm of Partian now that being said a good amount of my boys are still Partying there's still there's still they're not married. They're not having kids. They're fucking they're getting after it Thursday through Wednesday, you know, I mean they're doing a seven-day week So they're not out of step, but you know some guys who are like, oh, they're a wife and kid They might drink once a month. They get down there. So and so happy. Oh, they don't have they don't have it anymore They're not conditioned and then they end up puking and getting a fight something sound It's just like it just leads the bad news You know what I mean. Yeah, don't you mean I'm more of like if the three my three homies want to be like oh Let's go here and golf for the weekend. I go. Yeah, well they will hit and we'll hit a fucking we'll get an ice hotel nice there being Be a pool they beers being bed by 10 wake up. That's what I would do. Yeah, I'm with you on that But that's what I'm saying, but I just can't I can't swing I also don't have I don't have four days of drinking in me like that No, that's it. I'm yeah, that's wild How about John Marceini was hungover for six days? Yeah, and I gotta be honest with you like if I'm drinking It's you come back when it D.R. You're hungover for a couple of days and like he walking a hand you the baby right away and you're like you get That's the biggest problem with getting to this age and having now I have life real life responsibilities Is it like yeah more listen? We were on the road two weeks ago you go on the I'll go on a road for three four days Yeah, I get to sleep in and get to have my bears sure I mean But then she's on you know pop up on the road now you want to get beers at 7 11 and sit in the lobby of a Holiday Express. That's not bad though. I'm a little man Gary. Hey, I go straight to bed. Don't get me wrong. I'm gonna climb up the one though It's sneak open a top of a car Think a gorilla just broke out of room 314 Happy you also that was I was You guys catch me. I'm hitting the sack. Hour later. I come walking down in the tuxedo That's all right But yeah, it's the response you walk in you go. I can't be hung over When I get home I got to be relatively fresh and I got a check to fucking yeah, because she's you know she's been on for four days I've been fucking tripping the lights fantastic. I know with my fucking five jerk off buddies going each other fat game bald all week and then it's like you know I Been on the case sure my biggest responsibility is what you know what snacks? I'm gonna get it the fucking loves truck stop. Yeah, and to do to short stack or to full stack at the diner long as I go handquakes up in the morning You're golden Big man man. Anybody got eyes on the big man. He's usually lazy. He's really a pearly You know, I'll get a whisper. See you back man. That's usually calling see the big man. I get A bill is rolling in slow Got it got it All right, let's see here This one's fine never thought of this. This is from Steve Urkel second time long time Is it garbage to lean on the cart while walking in the grocery store like you lean down? Oh, fuck that What fucking walking doggy style face down is up. That's awesome. That is you're walking mad slow She's in front of you. Whatever. You're just cruising. It's trashy. You got to be a little more proud You got for sure, but fuck that guy's in flip flops and socks. Oh, I love it Chelsea when you go to the suburbs and they got them big-ass cards. I could fit in that. Mm-hmm throw me in there push me around Like a like a robot in an Amazon fucking factory That was the big we from sure we mentioned this at some point, but to me that was the big level of trash whether you're if your parents let you sit in the back with the groceries That was real they were that was like single mom Which that was a spot hanging out up front? I Didn't like being a killing what? No, that was like that was like the fucking you had to put a blanket down or something that was fucking Greg's you're stuck in the back. I want to break though. That's like being in the back of a pickup truck. You want to sit in the seat? No I want to be in the back or you're saying all that the front wait. What are you talking? I guess I have it reversed yes You you think it's trashy if you sit in the bay where the food goes or in the bay and the cargo bay or in the seat No, the cargo bay the trunk if you will yeah, that's trashy. What you want to sit in the seat like a good boy? No staring at your mother. No, I'm saying I didn't like that. You don't want to either one you don't want to be in the car No, I want to be in the big one is what I'm saying the trunk, but that's trashy. Yeah. Oh, yes Just because I didn't want to be trashy, but you like it. Oh, yeah, good man I'm saying that's the equivalent of riding in the back of a pickup truck for a six-year-old That's as that's as lawless as you're gonna get. Yeah, I'm back here all the other nerds are tucked in the That's what I'm saying. They're sippy coach. I got an a and w go and I'm in the Back dog. I mean a roll from the deli section. I got a slice of cheese and a slice of turkey. Yeah, you're doing I'm gonna get a foot long back here Yeah, that's all right. Yeah, that was my mom. I get out of there. Good. Shut up. Shut up. How would you climb in there? Oh? Yeah, hold me down. All right, I won't you didn't tip that at one point. I got top heavy. You got tough to tough to get them Yeah, I was a I spent all about seven You tipped that cart and I think I was thin to my mom went back to work Then it was becker time Started watching becker and drinking that complex. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, a lot of ribbio-flavin You know my son yelling number five Yeah, it's tough. Oh, I get a kid. Mm-hmm. It's all right Let's see here. This is another this is also this is from all the toast 10 dollar mozzarella stick if you go to a restaurant You've been to before well you were your family members start a conversation about every other table You've sat after previous visits. Oh wow. We've never sat over here. We always sit at that table over there That means you got jack shit to say I mean, that is so funny Last time we were over there remember I say to my like if tensions are high, but when you sit down Normal bread is nice here, you know, you said that you you said that somewhere that we were at last weekend It's trying to start conversation with you. You're a stick in the mud. Yeah That Dominican trip really got me thinking I was lost in my thoughts for a second. I saw you like a brutal That hangover Kills me where were we that I've said I probably had to we were somewhere. We that's where calm vote gets with us some time Yeah, we're somewhere like we usually sit on the other side Was that the palm was it was an airport breakfast? Yeah, probably was airport because it's on either side You can get your palm airport breakfast TV tell a t-shirts at are you garbage calm? And you can also get your aunt putty mugs while supplies list. They're going. They're going out of their running out of stock I think the mugs are yeah putting a palm shirts I don't want everything's don't know Bye-bye-bye I love it. Oh, I love it really turning the fucking fucking mid-date news anchor. Oh, that's great Next up we're gonna be talking about a dog who plays the piano next up We're gonna be talking to a punk kid that goes to Toree. See every night. Luke Dempsey is in the studio with his late gentleman This one's trashy, but respect. This is from Jake Cape Never had one red fairly new homie. Thank you. Welcome to the show. Are you garbage if your first birthday party was also your mom's high school graduation party? Listen she fuck she made some mistakes obviously But Graduated props to her for sticking out with a one-year-old senior year with a one-year-old and save money on cake Mm-hmm you just get the one big cheat cake for that. Mm-hmm cut it in a half. Yeah high school graduation cake wasn't that bad It gets a bad rap Where what do you mean where where's it getting a bad? Who's talking about it? It's that very popular all you guys know Listen, I've heard a lot of it's a lot of seen a lot of headlines on graduation People talk about birthday cake all the time mother's day cake Yeah, well, there's one of those every year. There's you go to you have one high school graduation That's why no one's talking about it. No, that's not true. And there's not one of the year something just came out of one of your orifices that is putrid and we We have to wrap up. That's crazy. That's crazy, dude. We have to guys. I love you. We'll see you next week. I gotta get fully to the doctor peace. I am not gross