Firing Natalie and Winning a Million

What's up guys, we're back to views. We are back with another episode. Halloween is approaching just around the corner. I'm trying to talk with the lower voice today. Get ready for scary episodes. What are we thinking? Well, I got a call from David last night about being Thanos and I was excited about it. Then I asked Naveen about being Gamora and I don't know if she. So I have a costume with Naveen already. So now you're. Let me set this up because I wanted to be. I know we've never done this before, which is kind of fun. It's a good idea. Like I wanted. Well, because I'm also thinking about making a video for Halloween and the party is just like cool, but it's 15 seconds, right? It's a montage and that's it. So I thought if we were in character all of it, that could be fun. Right. And I was going to be Spider-Man. We have yet to find an Iron Man. Super easy for you. Excuse me. I was just put on a leotard. Oh, yeah. I got to sit in two hours and make up. Yeah. So I was going to be Spider-Man. Which is crazy because you would think I'd want to be Robert Donney. Yeah. What do I do? No, Iron Man. Iron Man. So why don't you just do Iron Man? Because I want John to be Ned. Yeah, that's fun. Yeah. I think John was actually already being Ned. I kind of stole it from him. I think John was Ned in the movie and he hasn't told us. Yeah. So I'll be Spider-Man, which I will be Ned and Ali Scarlet Witch, Black Widow, maybe Taylor. Yeah. Have we ever done this before? No. Isn't that weird? Isn't that weird? It's so weird. One time we all dressed up as Star Wars. Do you remember that? Yeah, I like it just a little bit. Yeah. So that's why I'm like, oh, let's just do the whole, you know. Yeah. Let's just do it. Okay. So you're saying you have another costume playing with movie? Yeah, we're supposed to. Ilya just texted me this morning because Ilya is going to be fat Thor. Oh, he's going to put on fat stuff. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. And fat Thor is really good because fat Thor is like a drunk. Yeah. And it's pretty Ilya actually. Yeah. Like fat bodybuilder. And you think she's a god. You're hoping you're hoping you're going to get drunk Ilya. Yeah. I'm hoping that you know, but he plays the part. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So and then his girlfriend's going to be, oh my god, I always forget her fucking name. Mantis. Mantis. Your name is Emma. I thought you couldn't remember her name. Do you know Mantis? No. It's from Guardians of the Galaxy. She's like the Asian girl with the two. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's really good. Really good. Oh, damn. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, especially when Emma gets drunk. Yeah. She starts talking like Mantis. Yeah. She goes like this. Right. She reads minds and stuff. She does read minds and stuff. So I think that would be really good. And she actually kind of like scrunches her face and kind of focuses like Mantis. Yeah. She's very similar mannerism. Yeah. She like she. So it'll actually look like she's reading your mind. I won't point. And then I thought, how good is Thanos? As Jason, because he's already played him and he's really good. And then Gamora, who's Thanos' daughter being a bean. I think it's just like such a fun little. It's so bad with that, but I just love Thanos coming to be like, this is my daughter Gamora. Okay. So what are you planning? We were just planning some regular costume. She was going to be Medusa and I was going to be like Poseidon. Well, lucky for you. Yeah. My party's a day before Halloween. So maybe you can be both. Yes. Now we got to convince DeVine to get in green makeup. Okay. First of all, yes, it's a lot. But Gamora's arguably, well, I'll put it top three. Top three hottest things on characters. I gotta say things because I don't know what Gamora is. Yeah. Just hottest women in the Marvel Universe. Green alien. Do you think they go by men and women on different planet? Just a dollar a woman. No. You don't have to keep it. It's just a little cry gone. I don't know where she's from. Where is she from? God damn it. I know the name. Thanos is stored by planet of, of, of, of, I don't know. Anyway, Thanos wiped half of her people out. Well, the, the makeup woman Jackie is ready to go. Oh, she's free. She's free. But you know, especially in LA, to get a makeup person around Halloween. Yeah. It's crazy. It's very rare. Yes. Everybody here. Is, is there another Marvel person she could be? I mean, I tried to convince her to be Captain Marvel. So she doesn't have to do like makeup or anything. Just put on the suit and that's it. See, so I told Taylor to be Captain Marvel and she didn't even want to be Captain Marvel. I just, because people don't like Captain Marvel. It's not that. It's just like, it doesn't feel like she's like a part of the crew. I don't know. I know, I know she's a big deal. I don't know. I don't know. I don't like talking poorly about Captain Marvel. I just don't think she's like the core ensemble, not saying Gamora is, but Thanos definitely is like, yeah, a big player in all the adventure movies. Right. I think it'd be so good. I mean, there's so many of somebody that listens to this podcast that does not watch Marvel. Yeah. There's no way. And they just sit through this like, okay, time to grab some from the fridge or run upstairs real quick. Yeah, that's forward. Really? Yeah. You think there's somebody that actually has no idea what we're talking about? For sure. There's no way. For sure. I don't think so. I mean, people don't, not everybody watches everything. Ah, but you know what we're saying, right? Yeah, I'm sure they have some idea like, oh Iron Man, I know what that is. I know what door is. Oh my god. I'm so curious. They wouldn't know Gamora. I don't think so. Okay. Are you comfortable with that? I'm, you've got to call Naveen and you've got to make this happen because I, she just doesn't want to be green, which is racist. She doesn't want to be green. I don't know. I, I got to talk to her about it. It was just she was just kind of like, ah, I gotta be green and then I'm gonna dye my hair. Most you can wear a wig. She doesn't dye her hair, her hair is brown. Her hair's red. Gamora. Oh, dude, I think, I think her hair's red, isn't it? Well, I'm just thinking of Zoe. I mean, let's be honest. Naveen is kind of Gamora. She's got the body for it. Yeah, they, they, they look exactly the same. No, yeah. It's definitely the best and she'll look so fucking good. She'll look good. Well, is that what you're worried about her looking too hot? Yeah. Oh, so you want her to play Thanos? You want to play Gamora? That was when I was hoping. Okay, yeah, I guess we can look into that. Did you see if you call her and, and be like Naveen, Gamora is so hot, you're gonna be so hot. I don't know if I want to call your wife. Talk her into it. Naveen, my sexy little thing. No, no, no, no, Jason's not here. It's just me and you. Yeah, I think Natalie can call her and totally be like, well, we'll try. I mean, it is, it is the truth. I just don't want it. We got to order the prosthetics. Oh, you really, like you, you, I mean, that's the only way to do it. I don't know how else to do it. Okay, because my Spider-Man outfit, I'm not like, I'm just getting the Spider-Man outfit. You're going, it's so fun going down to spirit and grabbing it. Yeah, because everyone here is like, everyone's like, Nana is like, I had to call in people. I'm like, you're the Scarlet Witch. Like, you just put on red stuff and then get the little headpiece. It's like so not fun. No, I know, but people here, if you're really seriously, I forget. So even Taylor's hiring her will make a part as to be black widow, which is literally like a black latex, not even jumpsuit. Yeah, like Spaisuit. Spaisuit, which could be the easiest. Damn. Is there any other character she could be? I don't know. What? You just want the Gamora joke. The Gamora joke is huge. I really want you to be Thanos, because like, you, Thanos the whole night is so funny. Right. I was going to tell Scott's coming, I think. So I was going to, I was going to ask either Scott or Noah Beck, forgot to text Noah Beck back last night, but maybe he should be Captain America. Scott's a good Captain America. No, I said, Noah Beck. Noah Beck's a good Captain America. Noah Beck is more Captain America. Scott, let me, let me be honest. Scott is Star Lord. It's not even close. Chris Pratt. Oh, yeah, yeah, he's more Star Lord. But yeah, so that means we'll have to film scenes with him and Gamora if you're comfortable with that. Yeah, awesome. I'll sit in the culture. Fantastic. Yeah. Okay. Well, we'll figure it out. I will call Naveen after this, but yeah, that's, did you see what I said you guys? Well, you did see what I said you guys, and then you told me to go touch rocks Jason or such. Touch grass. Touch grass. Yeah. Did you just learn that phrase? No, I've known her for a couple years. I mean, I, I listened to what you guys talk about. I try to pick things up here. So I saw this TikTok and it's POV. You wake up in California 1984. Look at you back in California in '84. Come on, we saved you the seat. And that's like a montage of the beach. Like, you know, guys in their short shorts girls haven't having that 80s look. And it's kind of interesting. I feel like, I feel like girls had, like, different faces back then. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is that true? Like, every, every girl's face when I, like, see an 80s thing is like, it's rounder. Yeah. Yeah. The cheeks are like puffy. Well, it's probably like, I mean, now like social norms, like, everyone's very skinny. Oh, but I don't, but these girls are still skinny. It's just their faces, like, look like they're built different. And that is how I think about the 80s. It's like everywhere. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah, that is interesting. People try to, not people try to have like, I get people to be plastic surgery now and stuff, but like, why is it that not? I don't know. Maybe it was because like, people were like, they're, I think, maybe their diets were a little different. Like, people would sit down to a glass of milk back then. Oh, they won't. It's so good. It's just crazy that we stopped doing that. Stop drinking milk. Yeah. Yeah. That's the weirdest one that we stopped. It's also even weirder of how much it was promoted back in the day. - Yeah, it used to be full ads. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had to have milk, oh my God. - I told my friend, if somebody steals this idea on the podcast, please give me credit and give me one percent secretly. But I was telling my friend that the food with the most vitamin C is not orange, it's a red pepper. - Oh, wow. - And he goes, oh my God, we've been like, he freaked out. He's like, he's like a food guy, completely freaked out. He was like, you're kidding. I'm like, no, no, no. So look it up to the red pepper. And he just couldn't believe me. He's like, if this is true, as I'm Googling it, he's like, if this is true, we've been lied to our entire childhood about vitamin C. And all those commercials about it being a perfect breakfast, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, yeah, I know. I mean, it's the same thing as milk. And he's like, do you realize like this is, we should start like a whole campaign for the pepper? - Yeah. - Yeah. - And I thought that was really interesting. He's like, we should buy pepper farms and then blow up the red pepper as this huge new, like, give it a new identity and then become very rich, just like how they blew up the orange. 'Cause I mean, like, the orange was kind of blown up on the back of vitamin, right? - How would you-- - For sure. - They would you deliver the pepper? Well, it have to be like pepper shots, pepper meals, pepper drinks, do you know what I mean? It have to be like, where does the pepper taste the best? Just raw with some hummus. I think so too, but I'm just saying like, yeah, you'd have to like-- - I mean, that's the other thing is like an orange is so much more appealing and tasty, you know, like it's-- - It's appealing, that's really good. - The marketing behind an orange is so much easier than a pepper and then-- - Is it? 'Cause like a pepper is a naturally built scooper. I don't love anything more than a pepper. Like breaking apart a pepper sounds good. - It's messy, all the seeds inside. - I don't even know how to make that sound. You ever open a pepper and then inside, there's another little pepper? - Yes. - That's what I'm saying, two and one, I could say that, that's a good one. - You should sell two and one peppers. - Two and one peppers. (laughing) - They are scoopers, like once you peel them perfectly, it's like, you know, the little end is like a little shovel, put in hummus, when you're scooping, you like pepper better than cucumber? - Yeah, I'm, I think-- - Oh wow. - I think, listen. - That's big. I told I told Ilia, or Alex just said, this is a very privileged thing for me to say, but I'm gonna fucking say it 'cause I'm gonna give a fuck. Well, if Chipotle had a section of putting in peppers into your thing, and I'm not saying peppers mixed with onions, I fucking hate raw onions. - I hate onion. - You hate the, it's gross. They don't even do a good job at the onion, Chipotle. - It's disgusting, it's just separated, I agree. - If they had a red and green pepper section, if they had just a red pepper section to add to my burrito, I would pay dead ass and extra $30 for my burrito, for that option. - Jesus. - To get some raw peppers in there? - To get some grilled red peppers. - Oh, grilled red peppers. - I would pay an extra $30 into my burrito. I'd pay three times the price of the burrito. - Well, just to get the peppers in there. I think, I mean, peppers make such a different meal. - I agree, I don't understand why they don't have, also they use green pepper. Why don't they have any red pepper? - No, no, no, no, it depends what Chipotle they go to, sometimes. And then sometimes Alex brings home Chipotle every day, and sometimes I'll see a pepper in his burrito, and I'll be like, oh, there must have been no onions there. He goes, yeah, it was like pretty clean of onions. - Thank God. - And sometimes, yeah, sometimes they like, like really light on the onions. - I hate the fajita combo. - No, the onions? - At Chipotle are disgusting. - So gross. - I totally got sidetracked off what I said. - I hate it. - Anyway, I sent you this 80s video, right? It's, the video's titled POV you woke up in 1984, right? Starts like this. - You gonna look at you. - Look at you, but you're back in the 80s. And then I said to you guys this, I said, in 50 years, we're gonna be able to AI our lives like this, and in 200 years we won't be able to tell the difference, right? - Yeah. - Which is like, you know how I always say like, I hope when I die, I can, or like right before I die, I can program my life and I can live in it. - Yeah. - And like, that's always been like kind of a dream to me, and like, but now it feels like it's actually a real possibility. 'Cause what feels like the toughest part about all that? - Saying goodbye. - No, that's what I mean. - Being like, all right, Natalie, I'm going in this chamber. - No, I mean, like see you later. - No, like technologically, what feels like the toughest? 'Cause to me, it's not like the programming you're brain to think everything's real. To me, it's like coming up with a world. You know how does everything in the world function? And keep, like how does the matrix actually make sense? Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, we've already figured that part out, and that's AI, right? So like, I'm watching this video. That's like, welcome to the '80s, you've made it. - Right. - And like, we're obviously going to be able to do this in 100, 200 years. - And just be a little bit clearer for the audience. What do you mean? - Like, I will be able to and check something into my veins. - Yeah. - And I will be able to live in a simulation for the rest of eternity. - And where is it? - Do you believe your physical body? Is it in a chamber? - It's just on the couch. - I'm talking straight up matrix. I'm in a warehouse, like a laundromat of bodies that you could spin around and-- - Yeah, I've seen this in a movie. - It's matrix, it's the matrix. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so you, that's a possibility, right? - Yeah, you're sitting there. - Do you agree with me on that? - What? - That that's possible in 100, 200 years. - Yeah, I do. - Do you actually, or you're just saying that? - I agree. - Okay, so what's to say, we're not in it right now. - Right? - Like if we're just perfectly 100, 200 years away from it, that, from the simulation, that means there's an even better chance that we're in it right now. No? - I mean. - Right now. I know your laughing, I know your program is to fucking-- - I love when it turned, this podcast turns into "Rantings of a Mad Man." That's my favorite. - Oh, it's not. - And then the other thing about peppers is, peppers are perfectly scopeable. You can scope anything, and they've got the most vitamin C. - Natalie, where are you? - I ran into you, David. - Oh, there you are. - Right. - My family listens to the podcast, and they're like, they'll call me sometimes and be like, is he okay? - Yes. (laughing) - Okay, is he okay? - Is it not crazy guys? - No. - It's like such a relieving feeling. - You know, it's like, you're right, but it's also like, it's not something I like to think about. - Oh my God, I love it. - 'Cause it devalues my entire life and purpose. - Oh, no. You do have to think about it like a fucking loser, the way I think about it. - Yeah. - It's like a winner. - It's like, nothing's real. - Who cares? - I care. - The feelings are real. The feelings are real. - Yeah, but what do you start thinking now? - No, no. - Then you're like, wait a minute, it's not real. - Your brain is real. - Why the fuck am I bustin' my ass for Charlie if it's not real? - Your brain or my brain is not powerful enough to figure out that it's not actually real. - Unless you, you know, you really go down and deep in and start going crazy. Which is possible. - You're right, pretty dumb. You think it about it, my head hurts. - No, but I'm saying, like, I could think about all I want. And I'll be like, at the end of the day, I'll come to the conclusion that this is probably real, right? - Yeah. - That's how good the simulation is. Is that it keeps us, I don't know. - But right now I'm stressed about Thanos. Do I not need to be stressed about it? 'Cause it's not real. - No, what I'm talking about is it makes me feel less stressed about life in general. - Yeah. - Because let's say, let's say, maybe this is a simulation, let's say it's not, best case it's not. And we're about to approach the times that it is. - Yeah. - It just feels good that at the end of my life, when I'm 90 years old, or 140, or 50, whatever it is, I'm gonna be able to, like, decide again what I wanna do, and, like, just live another fun life. - Let's say we're there right now. Okay, what about this? What if you have the option to keep living as Dave for another 200 years, or you can go into the chamber? What would you do? - Let's say that's both readily available. - Well, you go into the chamber and you get to select a new life? - Yeah, that's not even a question. - You go into the chamber. - 1,000%. - And what are you programming? - Well, we've talked about this in depth before. - Yeah. - So, like, I think I've said the same thing. I said, I said, "Singer, pop star." - Oh, okay. - I just think that. - See, I'd rather stay. - I don't even think pop star. Sorry, I think pop star is a little aggressive. I think, like, a Billie Joel. - Mm, that's nice. - Billie Joel, but from, like, a young age, so I can enjoy the benefits of that in my 20s, 30s? - Oh, yeah. - But also, like, I don't wanna be-- - What a ride. Of course, Billie Joel can't hear now. - Really? - Yeah. - Well, I would change that program. - Okay, make sure you do. Make sure you put that in there. - Yeah, but, like I said, when it does happen, it's going to be, like, there's going to be rules to it, right, you're gonna sit down in the conference room and they're gonna be like-- - How long do you think that meeting would be? - Couple hours. - No, I think it'd be, like, a couple weeks. - A couple weeks. - But I think they're gonna, like, let's say, Billie Joel went in there, right? He's gonna be like, well, I wanna be a singer, and I wanna be, I wanna be playing Madison Square Garden when I'm fucking 70. - Yeah. - I think I'd be like, "Billy, that's, that's one of our highest simulations, like you're, you're running here." Now, the problem with that is it can't be all good because your body is going to start to get confused and you're gonna start to realize that you're not actually in reality because everything's gonna be going so good. So that's why we call it the problem program, whatever. And then it's like, you're gonna have the program yourself, 20 things, 20 adversities that you're gonna have to face throughout your life. And then Billie's like, "Fuck it. I'll take deafness at the age of 75." I'm be like, "Okay, Billie, that's only one." - Or at the age of 30, he was broke. - Great, there's a second. Your mom's gonna have to die, Billie, if you really want this life. - Oh shit. - That's fine, I'll do 15. He doesn't give a fuck 'cause all of it's fake for him. You know, in the meeting it's fake. It's not real. - Right, right. - Yeah, I mean, damn. - You kind of just program it out and then you're good. - I'd rather stay here and, no, but see what went. Charlie do that would be my thing laughing damn what didn't you rather like play the game of life rather than program the game of life no it's because it's not going to matter at the end of the day at the end of the day once you get born into this new simulation thing you're going to come out of a person's vagina and you are not you're not going to know whether or not you that's it you're going to be a dumb baby you know what I mean and you're going to grow up you've got no fucking idea what's going on I'm going to be back in Vernon Hills High School fucking my senior year doing color wars but my name's gonna be Billy and my last fucking name will be Joel oh yeah yeah I don't know I I something wrong about that really yeah something really wrong about it I don't know what it is but then how do you like count for others I die sure but also account for like no one's going to choose a bad program yeah you're not all living in the same program Natalie what are you nuts everyone has their own program no one in their program is real like yeah you're not real Jason's not real what if you start to die in your program do you choose another program I haven't thought that far I think you can either pop out and you can you can't pop out why because if you pop out then you know it's a simulation I'm saying at the end of your life yeah yeah like 90 years in oh you mean car accident oh you'll never die okay let's say you're never have a freak out you program it you're Billy Joel and you die at 85 you're starting to die is there a guy in the lab it's like we got to pull him out it's about to die oh yeah or they just kill you I think you can have two options probably you could be like do you want this to be your final leg or do you want this to be simulation part one wow no I don't know I'm not sure have you looked into this at all no it's not just not possible my no but there must be someone developing it my question is do you think it's gonna be expensive I think so did you see they've reconstructed like a fly's memory did you see that what they do they like took part of a fly yeah and they went into its brain and they reconstructed parts of its memory or something I think I'm making it out what does that mean it's like flies live like two days yeah I know this so they're like oh he was on this check it out you were on this banana dude how sick that is and then he flew over and then he flew outside hey do you think this is a dumb investment I found a 20 peppers uh peppers no that's a genius investment I have been eyeing this TV okay for about two years okay I want to go see that best by last year yeah I love that why that's just funny and it's like all my reviews I wish I was with you oh so I wish you was driving with you and like Jake we pulling the best by real quick no no it wasn't can we like it wasn't like that it was we had to go to multiple best buys okay it was only one had it and then another best by had a smaller version of it to compare yeah so there's this TV yeah it's it's a Samsung yeah it's 115 inches okay so right now I have an 85 inch okay and you know TVs are the size of whatever size TV you have determines what kind of a man you are or also what your status is in the neighborhood you know what you do yeah but go ahead like I want my neighbors to walk into my house oh and see the TV oh my god oh my god you don't think it would be the pickleball court and the amazing view no because because because anywhere in the world I mean it's the size of your TV sure that's what kind of now here's a problem with this TV it's $20,000 which is an insane amount for David but I'll have this TV for a long time because top of the class nothing's getting nothing's better than it for the last two three years which is like crazy nothing news coming up it's insane it makes it huh who makes it Samsung okay um and uh yeah it's like pretty you know it's I'm just excited when you saw the TV did you like did you like envision yourself watching it and being like oh yeah never mind what other people think when they come in is the TV right for you it's not about me it's about how people perceive me what yes but you watch so many movies I'm gonna drop that joke let's let's be serious about why I want this TV yeah yeah I am yeah even when I brought up to Natalie Esther before I told her the price she was like 100% get a bigger TV yeah because we just we use the TV every single day like as a community dude I may be like the the influencer that uses their TV the most I've been watching like I was watching I've all with any time and influencer ever ever puts up a house tour like I'm there I've seen it I don't care I don't care if you're the smallest in the world I've seen your house too like I love house tours especially when people on social media and majority of them always make it a point when they pass by the living room they go this is the living room so TV I can't really tell you the time the last time I like sat down here and watched anything yeah they always say that yeah they always make it a point to say that I on the other hand use the living fuck out of my living room why yes you do proper living room so I was like why not splurge a little maybe for Christmas get myself a new TV you know lots of times when guys have small penises they get lots that's a keyword that's not what's going on here not actually not check okay okay no that's that's a car thing okay and there's nothing TVs have nothing to do with the size of my genitals yeah little tiny man syndrome I do also have to also have two Ferrari so I'm gonna see that TV and they're gonna go up small cock really yeah yeah so so please I say no okay I mean what are you doing yeah especially because you're gonna move this TV is well that's what I'm saying good that's what I'm saying I'm gonna move so I'm gonna take it with me yeah I know but don't get it now get it when you get the new house did you did you know that one time we oh I said this on the podcast I bought an eight thousand dollar TV yeah and the taskrabbit came to set it up yeah and it looked like he was struggling so we helped him set it up yeah and because we were holding him because then he dropped his end of it yeah and he broke it shattered it shattered the TV the new eight thousand out of you I've never spent that much I even the TV I have now is eight thousand but he said he apologized and legally because we helped taskrabbits are responsible for it really so no insurance covered it best by the cover we're just literally I've never had a moment like that with like where you're just like out money well normally it's like normal it's like you get like in store credit or something or that was just like it actually everything just evaporated did he hang it anyway no no he's just like I'm a go yeah no he like quickly exit it now why are you pro TV why you pro twenty thousand dollar TV um the twenty thousand thing I think is a little ridiculous there is a comparable TV not by Samsung Samsung so obviously oh you could get twenty thousand dollar TV or you could get you could get that size of a TV for like yeah I was about to say that before you cut me off right yeah thank you so much um that was the exact point I was actually trying to get to I just feel like when when I say people get it to get people hear through my voice they're like oh wow yeah David that's a good point no I think people are tired they're sick and tired hearing a voice I want to hear more from what's special start to fucking fall asleep over here what what is it what does the twenty thousand dollar TV have that the three thousand dollar same size TV doesn't it has seventeen thousand extra dollars I spent on it and that's just bizarre now I mean the picture quality is a little bit better and a little bit brighter can I just say yeah it's a K can I just say yeah okay so I I think there's this I not actually references a lot when you go to Best Buy when you go to these TV places and you're comparing televisions yeah it's all an illusion right because like you're like looking at you're looking at nine TVs all right next to each other and how often are you going like obviously you're gonna see the differences yeah but when you take it home it's not really like that that's right it is difficult yeah that's what I thought yeah because I bought a TV about a year and a half ago it was bigger but it was the same price as my TV but it was bigger yeah right so the picture quality wasn't the same but I was like I don't care because I feel like it's all the same once I turned it on I brought all my roommates down to everyone to see it and they're like first I said it but I didn't want to say I didn't want to like get in their head they're like what the fuck is wrong with the picture quality at all and I'm like whoa so yeah so there is there is a big difference of picture quality that you actually do see when you bring in as a person yeah I don't know I mean I think like it's kind of like a car you know like it's something we're using every single day hey I have a question for you do you think that people are born sorry to cut you off net do you think that people I don't even know why I'm here but I love because I like cutting you off it gives me like when you start talking I get re-energized and I go time to say something times isn't that quick David quick think that's weird no no okay I should think about the way you treat me let me give you the floor go think about it go go go go what is it no I have nothing to say I called Ilya today yeah and and his partner was there and then we were talking about Zila okay and I we have a we have a brand's paying for us to go on a well you're coming with us tomorrow too yeah we're going on a private jet a round trip to Florida for this work thing yeah and it's gonna be like this fun experience to Florida and I told Ilya I was like you want to come obviously he's gonna say no right he says no so then I'm like why do you keep saying no to like all these fun things yeah like what are you doing yeah like this is like I can't afford a private jet around trip yeah well this is it and how long is this gonna be going for exactly yeah exactly what I said I was like how often we're gonna have these opportunities and I could tell you for 1,000 percent fact that we definitely won't have these opportunities at this age ever again because times moving we're only gonna get older yeah so why won't he go because he just has to work on on on Zila stuff on the weekend - Yeah, I don't really understand. - I like this trip 'cause it's only two days. - I have to say, I'm a little upset like-- - Wait, can I talk about what this trip is? This is kind of crazy. - Yeah, tell me. - The price picks, then. - You guys don't tell-- - Jay, this is insane. Are you ready? - And when I ask you, yell at me. - I'm about to tell you. - Okay, good. - So, price fix is having us come. - Okay. - And basically they're inviting 50 people. I'm one of the 50. - Yeah. - And all 50 of us, Sunday's game, have to make picks. So we have to pick five teams to win, Sunday's game. - NFL, the NFL. - NFL games. - Okay. And if you hit all five, price picks is gonna give you a prize. Like if you select all of them correctly, you win, right? And the person that selects the most correctly, all five is number one through 10, right? If you're in the top 10, they give you $50,000. - What? - And price picks credits. $50,000. - Oh my God. - Okay. - That'll last you a whole week. - Now listen to this. If you get number four, you get $250,000. And if you pick all five of the winners correctly, price picks is going to give you a million dollars. - That's the fuck. - And in price picks credits. - Shut the fuck up, David. - Isn't that crazy? - Well, wait a minute, are you already locked in my teams? - Are you, okay yeah, like have you done research? Like what are the games? Like let's help you win this million dollars. - It's, I don't think it's like that. - What is? - I show it with my God. - No, you need to like really work on these teams. - I actually called this guy who's pretty good at like, that sports at sports in general. Called my hometown friends, they got those guys love sports. - Okay. - And then, so since there's 50 people, majority people are going to pick the favorites, right? - Yeah. - So there's a good chance that like five to 10 people are gonna tie. - Yes. - Right? And when there's a tie, it's whoever has the furthest spread win. So if you like, if one of your picks was the underdog and that one, then you're higher than the person that picked all favorites. - Got it. - So it is in your benefit to like throwing an underdog or two. - Wow. - But isn't that fucking crazy? - One out of the 50 people is going to walk away with a million dollars. - Yeah. - What's an example of a game that's happening and who you're choosing? - Like the Seahawks versus. - Kansas City. - Kansas City. - And who do you have? - I have the Seahawks. - You do. - Yeah. - Okay. - Even the chiefs are five and over now. But it's like, this is the closest I've ever been to possibly winning the lottery. Like I'm already one in 50 chance. - Yeah. - It's like a big deal. - You gotta work on this like non-stop. - I already locked in mine. - Oh, you already chose. - Dude, imagine you win. - Okay, I imagine. And, oh my god. - 'Cause they pay you in priceless credits. So this is what I'm gonna do. - Yeah. - I'm just gonna run. I'm gonna pretend I don't have that million. I'm gonna do the craziest parlay. I'm gonna try to 80X it. And then I'm gonna retire. - What? - In two weeks, I will be retiring with $80 million. That's my game. - No, I'm gonna fuck her, you're gonna do that. - No, no, no, no, no. But yeah, if I do win the million, which is not really possible. Let's be honest. I'll just play some safe, safe place. - Yeah. - Some safe picks and then like 1.1 my money. So like walk out with cash out. - And cash out. - Anywhere from 800 to a million. - But somebody has to win the million. - That's what's crazy. This isn't like a competition where like, you could possibly win a million. Somebody will win a million period. That's what's crazy about this. - Who's your biggest competition? - Who's the best? - I mean, I feel like everybody in the priceless roster is the best. - Yeah, and there are four sports heavy. - Probably I am towards the bottom. - Right. - Yeah, I would not put you. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - No one's gonna look at me. Like obviously I'm, you know, calling the right people that watch football. But like, there's guys on the priceless roster that like live and breathe this shit. - What will you do if you win the million dollars? Like what will your reaction be? - Well, I promised four of my hometown friends, Rolexes. - Okay. - So I have to do that. - That's good. - And he also promised me my 15% commission, so. - No, you don't get commission off a bet, Natalie. - It's a lottery win. - Whatever is yours is mine, brother. - That's not how it works. - Yeah. - Go grab a couple pillows off his bed when you leave. - I'm actually gonna cut your commission in half of the picture. - I know you're thinking about it. - I'm trying, I think I'm gonna go down to 10. - Okay, four Rolexes. - Four Rolexes. - Yeah. - So enjoy the last couple months of 15. - Good luck, luck with it. - What do you think would happen if you quit? - I would probably flourish as like. - No, no, no. - To be an independent, like, content creator. - No, I'm talking about-- - Travel the world with my girlfriends and like make fun content and stuff. And like work with-- - Wait, is that where we are? Is that where we are right now? Are you guys having a bad day? - No, actually. - No, we're not having a bad day. - Oh, you're not on the screen. - Obviously, there's days where I'm like, I have to plan. I'm like, okay, like, I'm gonna let Natalie go. - No! - Like I have those thoughts of I'm like, what is it? - No, you don't. - Who do I call? Who's my first move? - Like, who's your first to replace Natalie? - I'm not calling anybody to replace you. I'm calling somebody to get me the replacement. So I'm calling like, I'm calling a person that would be either a head hunter or I'm calling the agents or I'm like, you know what I mean? Or I'm calling Natalie. (laughing) - I'm not opening you. - You're not gonna help me. - Fuck no, are you crazy? - If I fire, you're not, just as a friendly gesture. - No! - As a front fucker, no. (laughing) If you kick me off the pod, I'd help you find a co-host. - Really? - Okay, good, can you help me? - We look for it. Call Adam Ray. - Do you know John Castro? (laughing) - Please don't replace me with John. - Damn, that would hurt. - Would you ever be, would you be ever offended if I like, if I continue doing the views podcast with somebody else? - No. - You're right, dude. That was a fucking stupid question. - I wouldn't be offended. - Really? - Yeah. - How would you not be offended? That would be so good. - I mean things, we're doing this thing for 10 years. I mean things run its course. You know what I'm saying? This is actually a pretty easy pod to keep up with. - Yeah, no, I think so too. I think we've done a good job. You've done a really good job of like being here. And-- - I took five-year break. (laughing) - I mean, recently. - I think like, if I ever wanted to do anything, like if I wanted to have like a new dynamic, I would just also start a podcast on top of this, but I don't even, I don't want to do that 'cause I can barely keep up with one podcast. - Yeah, I mean, I'd be okay with it. I mean, the thing is too is like-- - I could see myself doing this podcast. - Yeah. - For like the next 10 years. - Oh, really? - Yeah. - Nice. - Wow, let me go back to 20,000 long TV. (laughing) - Yeah, if I buy you this TV. - If I buy you the TV, why are you always trying to get something out of me more than me just being here? And being a nice, great partner. - I love-- - You're always trying to get something more out of me. - Well, I just-- - Put the trees and I'll do the video pod. - Well, I love things for free. - You do? - Yeah. - I love things for free. All right, you win the million dollars on Sunday. You pay me the 20k as a gift and I'll go grab the TV for you. - How about this? - If I win the million, yeah. - You congratulate me by buying me the TV. - Sure, done. I mean, I don't have $20,000 but-- - No, no, I'm kidding. - But I would, I wish I could buy a gift. And the other thing too about the podcast too is like, things run its course and also like, it's even, I think I can even whittle it down to like, if you're not in the mood to do the podcast, I'm just like, oh, he's not in the mood. So I'm not even gonna go. That's no big deal, we'll do it later. - What does that mean? - It means like things have to be in life. Things have to be symbiotic. Things have to line up. If you and I are not lining up anymore for some reason, then-- - I saw these influencers the other day. - There's no podcast. - So this is the other day talking about how being an influencer, oh God. But, you know, the whole joke, like, try being an influencer for a day, there is this, there is this, like, influencer talking about, like, with a regular job, you can just decide not to go in. And like, maybe take the week off, take two weeks off. - You know what? - But like, being an influencer, you're always there, you're worried about, like, things doing really well. I thought that was really funny. I was like, this is so funny. This is how, like, this is how, like, a movie would portray an influencer. It's like, if I'm seeing this movie-- - It would rage me. - It actually was rage me. - Maybe. - Maybe it was. Maybe I fell for it. - Shit. - Okay, well, no, just, just know that I'm here to stay. Now, at least got a couple more months. Commission will be knocked on. - Like, genuinely, what? I just, 'cause I know in your heart, you actually do believe that there is somebody that could fill my shoes. So, like, what would be your process? I'm curious. - Wait, why do you think that this is why? - Because maybe I'm gonna leave. 'Cause maybe I'm thinking about leaving. - It's okay, cool. - So, what would you do? - But, the most important thing is I wouldn't want to part with you on bad terms. So, like, that's priority number one, like-- - It's very sweet. - Yeah, I want to remain, like, 100% friends to the point where there's actually not, like, there's no bad blood between us, you know? - How would that even transpire? - Exactly. So, that is the trickiest part of the question. I think finding someone is quite simple. I think it's like-- - No, no, no, you're screwed. - I don't want to lose a friend, why? - You're screwed. You've dug yourself in a hole with Natalie. - Yeah. - She's irreplaceable. - Really? - Irreplaceable. - Why do you say that? - Because there's a great scene in Annie Hall. He's like in love with this woman the entire move. - I don't love Natalie. He's in love with this movie, this girl, the entire movie. They go to the Hamptons and they buy lobsters, but the lobsters escape and they're like laughing, trying to catch the lobsters and put them back in, and that's like one scene at the beginning of the movie. At the end of the movie, he meets a new girl and he goes to the same place in the Hamptons at the cottage. And he, the lobsters escape again and he's like, "Ha ha ha ha!" And the girl's like, "Just pick up the lobsters." Like, what are you doing? And he's like, "Oh." So it's like, you know what I mean? It won't be this girl. In the second scenario. [laughter] Bro, you, now that you're fired. No, no, no, that one is not, that one is not. That one is literally the girl. It's like, what is so funny? Pick up the fucking lobsters and get in the fucking car and post for waivers right now. I'm not doing this shit. Why are we chasing lobsters around the nobo steakhouse floor? [laughter] You look like a fucking idiot, so that one didn't work. But yeah, you couldn't, I mean, you'd not. No, I actually, no. You have some CEO in here who's not going to like vibe with you. Yeah. And maybe sure, yes, they'll be better at the job. [laughter] No, I'm sure. [laughter] Obviously, they won't be better at the job. But Dave, the bod! I mean, you'll be making so much more money. [laughter] No, no, no. No, no, no. I just can't. No, no, no, no. I just can't. That was really great. No, that's like the truth about you is like, you're loyal to a fault. No, I am very loyal. Yeah, I really. I don't know. I just like, 'cause I've thought about it. I've been like, you know, I also have my moments where I'm like, you know what, I'm going to go in there today. Are you just trying to turn this on me? [laughter] No, I think I think. Are you trying to be strong on your side and you're like, well, actually, I've been thinking about leaving too. No, I think we have the same exact thoughts about each other. Right. Yeah, the only way it would be is if just not left. That would be the only thing. And then you'd be like, okay, and then you'd move on. Yeah. But I can't imagine you being like, if not done. If not leaves. That's my problem is if not left, it almost be like also friendship ending. But if I let her go, I wouldn't be like, do you know what I mean? Um, if not, let's. No, I think you don't have to be friends, maybe for the first couple of months, it would be kind of dark. Really? But like, there's people that I've worked with and then not, and you know, it's, I break up with them and then, and then now I'm friends with them. This would be a cool episode to listen to in like 15 years or like in five years. When one of us makes a decision. Or next week, when that'll leave. [laughter] Remember when we foreshadowed this two weeks ago? No, I think, I think that we've been doing this for like a long time. So I'm excited about like potentially doing things a little differently. And like maybe that's why, that's why I like the waivers things so much. That's why I like having the different businesses or maybe this other business that we're talking about starting. Well it's new thing that we're starting is the most exciting thing we've started. What is it? So you've, you've been to a zoo, right? Yeah. You mean zoo? Zoo. The animals. I've been to the zoo. Yeah. Yeah. Now think about a zoo that comes to you. Set that all up. [laughter] That's what I'm going to never. Your faculty will leave me. No. So it's a Biblical-- Jays Prius Torque bets? No. We're starting a business. It's a Biblical cruise, right? Yeah. So Natalie and I are in costume. I play Noah. It's a big, it's an old carnival cruise ship that we've transformed into Noah's Ark. Oh wow. And we have every animal from every animal kingdom on the boat. Oh wow. And people come. It's religious. You learn about the gospel. And then also get to meet with every animal under the sun. That's in Paris. Everybody at home is listening. It's on the edge of their seat. That's pretty good, actually. I just made that up. That's sound. That sounds pretty good. Actually, yeah. Not bad. Other than the fact that it's a zoo, go ahead and steal that somebody. Yeah. I'm going to put some Noah's back. Huh? I'm going to put some Noah back. Oh, I think he's busy. You sure he does on, dude? Yeah. Noah's Ark's sailing the Pacific? Yeah. Oh, I just got that. What? I think he's busy. Noah's Ark. Got it. Yeah. Maybe a movie. Yeah. Oh. And then when the sun is shining, he can invite everyone up to Noah's deck. Yeah. Oh, nice. Yeah. It's pretty good. And everyone can work out and never. Yeah. Well, it's a good market. Religious. Religion is a great market. Really? People that learn to religion. Yeah. Dude. Do you see that thing, Angel Films? No. It's like a Netflix that's just like good feeling, clean content, and it's like killing. My favorite videos are those pastors that make like all that money and they're like flexing in front of their congregation. The Lord told me to buy this Bentley. That's the fucking craziest thing with that video, that guy that has like three private jets and he's like interviewed. Yes. And he's like looks like he's like terrified. He's like a big pastor. Huge pastor. And he looks terrifying. He looks terrifying. And then the interviewer is like, I don't know, basically are you taking money? What does the church feel about you flying in private jets and stuff? Yeah. Like what would God say about you like entering your private jet and whatever? And he's like, don't save the Lord's name in vain. Yeah. It's kind of scary. It's kind of scary. That's it. It's really scary. Totally not. I have a funny thing. Okay. So spell men. MEN. MEN. MEN. Beat you. Spell us. You. You. S. Okay. What is that spell? Huh. Menus. Fine news. Shit. Menus. Are you want to say menus? Yeah. Oh, no, that joke actually only works on stupid people. Well, it's just an answer first. You were kind of hesitating there. You were like, I knew what you were doing. So I was going to put it together. I was going to take a second longer. Hey, I love your Halloween costume. You guys. But I've never heard of the menus joke. It's pretty good. Yeah, yeah. I saw that one today. Really? Yeah. Here's a good one. I find that a fucking, I have, I have a, I have a snoo infection. Snoo. What's new? Not much. What's new with you? When you got Lauren on the boat. Oh, my God. I hope this killer. I hope this goes in the vlog. That's killer. We were in Hong Kong. And I tell Lauren. I was like, yeah, Lauren. I just found out like I have, I have, I have a snoo. And she goes, what is that? And I'm trying to get her to say what's new, right? She's just like, what is that? And I'm like, okay, great. So she's never heard of this joke. I keep trying for like 40 seconds. It's not working. And I have a crowd of like four people watching me. And I'm like, okay. I'm like, guys, guys hold on. I'm going to pivot. I tell everyone. And I'm like, whatever. Well, have you ever heard of a matter, baby? And then she goes, what's a matter, baby? And I'm like, nothing, babe. Like chill. And then she goes, oh my God. And then right after she goes, yeah, but what's new? It felt so good. Two in a row like that was crazy. And then she fell to the ground because she was so embarrassed. That was one of my greatest feats. That's incredible. I know. Oh, it was amazing. That was worth the trip to Hong Kong. If I could, if I could get somebody like that again, I'd fly to the ends of the earth. And you melted a little bit when she said what's the matter, baby. Yeah. Oh, yes. So she said what's the matter, baby? And low-key, like, I felt it. No one's called me, baby. Like a really long time. I felt it too. Did you? Yeah, I felt it for you. I was like, oh, Dave. Even though I knew it was a gag. I was like almost like, I almost weren't red because I was like embarrassed. She's saying this in front of other people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, don't call me, baby, in front of you. You gotta be careful with those jokes. I know. You can get feelings. No, but Nat, did you feel something? Oh, yeah. I was like, ooh. I'm being serious. Oh, yeah. When she said, what's a matter, baby? Did you feel something? I was genuinely like, like, I had butterflies. Maybe you have a crush. That's cute. I do think Lauren is really attractive, but, um, no, it's definitely just her saying, baby. Yeah. What do you, when you're in a relationship, do you have a nickname for your certain person? Smush. Actually? I don't know. Is it Smush? John and Julia just came up with theirs. They've been dating for four or five years. Oh. And they're not really into the lovey-dovey stuff. I've noticed. They are though. But they're not Nat. I mean, they're not like making out in front of us, for sure, but like, they're very like affected. At least John is like very affectionate, I feel. Really? Well, they just got nicknames. John is now calling Julia Bub. I mean, that's Ethan Marios. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Really? Yeah. Well, I think a lot of them are the same. But I would always go with babe and baby. Babe was like-- Like, I cannot picture you being like, baby. Come on, babe. Let's just mix me Josh. I don't say it like that though. I just like-- Babe, get over here. That's amazing. It's closer to that. It's like, babe, where are you? It's like very like-- Babe's not a nickname though. Everyone says babe. It's not unique. Yeah. It's barely a name. Bob, okay. I mean, ours is really bizarre. Shrimp. Shrimp. Which is so bizarre. I don't even know how that started. That's what Ilya does with Emma too. Calls are shrimp. Yeah. And then Ilya calls John Squidward. Really? Yeah. You know, Ilya would call our friend, Eric Lee. You know, Eric Lee. You've met him like once or twice. Yeah. He's obviously Asian. You call him Panda for the longest time in middle school in high school. That was his nickname was Panda. Yeah. And it was until like two years ago we were like, wait, that's racist. We had no idea. Like it didn't really-- Because Eric Lee is like a panda. Yeah, yeah. He's just like a bigger guy and like very sweet. Yeah. And he's like kind of round. I don't know how to explain it, right? Yeah, he's like the girl. Yeah, um, but like so in no words was it like because they're both from China or career in this case But yeah, it's kind of crazy like the things you put together What people call you in high school, huh? What people call you in high school gulash No, gulash like a hungarian gulash. No, I was a candleman Gentlemen, nobody fucking called you handle man. No, not in our high school in tennis Oh my god, like if you light up the court. I actually didn't have to have a reason Kindle man. Sky rocky just lit us fuck this guy. I don't think lit was a term yet. No, wasn't this guy But that would have made sense for The you're on fire. That's what it would have been Yeah, cuz you call fire that makes sense. No, but yeah, this guy could just use to call me his name is Rocky It's a common canoman is a cool guy a tennis and yeah, it didn't stick anywhere else nobody called me anything Obviously I called got called Justin Bieber. Yeah, high school, but that was just from like the Russian bully kids Wonder how those guys are doing now. I tried creating my own nickname once Really it didn't work with my friends juice Juice I thought that's what they used to call you. Well, he's called me wedge in high school But then later when I lived in New York, which is Jew backwards. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, which was a good one Then later when you lived in New York, you try to go by Jewish. I tried yeah, I tried for a couple weeks Why wait? What's this juice mean? I just like thought it's on it cool I kind of get it, but I also don't I'm so not a juice Yeah, you're definitely not no match. You're genuinely a more of a squeeze Squeez is pretty good. Yeah, you have a nickname not Just not yeah her bitch, you know Yeah, we went to a Chinese restaurant last night we waited an hour and a half to sit down. Oh, which one is that popular panda. It's called dinty fun Yeah, you say like that's like I'm and everyone knows that that is the most popular place on plant Isn't it like the most popular restaurant? Yeah, I mean the way time is usually like two hours. It doesn't make sense Wait, is it that good? I Don't know I've been like been there to eat. I got food poisoning from it in Singapore. Oh From there. Yeah, really? Yeah, I got like I got like a bad batch of it So I've like been weird about it, but I was hearing like statistics that it is like one of the most popular spots I told last night Dave. I spoke for you. What did you say? I said this was fantastic. I had a great time I said you guys need to add orange chicken. Is there any way you can add orange chicken and then we'd be good I'd come here every night really yeah, you know Panda Express invented orange chicken. I didn't know that. I don't know if that's true No, it's true. I don't think that it wasn't like a like a Chinese or Asian like Food or delicacy. I don't think they invented it invented my way because I had orange chicken when I was a kid And there was no pandas press around like I had it at restaurants my parents would take me to like Chinese It was a big part of my childhood We went all the time. Where are you getting your back? Where are you getting your facts John John debriefs me on new facts every morning. What does he say? What did John say this morning this morning? Yeah, he said that That Kleenex is actually the brand name for tissue and it just really stuck Okay, that's pretty good. Are you upset that John's getting really skinny? No, I think he's slow down his London trip got him back to where he needs to be wait, what'd you say his London trip shot him back to His original status All right guys listen. That is all the time. We are for today's pod. Thank you guys for joining us Please hit us up for the next one. Wow. It's true. What? Panda Express is credited with an inventing the crispy sweet and tangy orange chicken that we know today. No way in 1987 and it's Hawaii location. Don't ever doubt us. Don't ever doubt us. All right. We will see you guys for the next one. Bye