Finding Out You’re Someone’s Hall Pass

(upbeat music) - What's up guys, we're like the views! We are back with a brand new episode. - Nice. - This is the second time we are doing this specific episode because the card got corrupted. Jason's wife is here, does she have a mic? Oh yeah. - Yes, Jason. - And a wife in a vein. That's weird, Jay, that the episode where we talked about all the other women you have sex with, not your wife, the guy corrupted. - Yes, we went through all of them. - What happened? - We lost their body. - You listed 15 women. - I know, crazy. - From shortest to toss and all. - I know, it was a salacious episode. - It was a good episode too. - Never hear it. - Naveem. - Unfortunately. - Too bad. - I'm so sorry. - It's okay. - We should have heard this man go off. - No wonder you can't get laid, Natalie. - Why? - On the biggest cockpock? - Yeah. - Okay, so that's something we talked about. The card actually did get corrupted, I'll just decide. One of our main points that we brought up. - Well, I was saying that how in the Spider-Man movie, my take away from Spider-Man, was like, don't you think that it's time for us to just find love? Like the root of everything is love, finding your person no matter what. - Okay, can I just say, before we go down this fucking dumb rabbit hole, we go every three podcasts about like framing love and how I go, it's impossible in LA and then you go, don't bring me down there, Dave. And I go, you have no choice. I own you and then can we just not do that? - Did it not make you feel that though? We don't have to do that, but I'm saying like. - I get it and what's your fucking argument? Yeah, sure, give me love. Right now, someone, okay. Yeah, no, not from that, but I'm just saying like, why are you saying that? Why are you making it sound like I shut the gate on love? - Well, because you have, the fact that you verbalize it so often means that it's not an open gate. I'm saying the gate needs to be, I actually don't give a fuck what you do. I'm just talking about myself. - This is where we got into talking about it because we were recently at a wedding. And I was wondering, like at weddings, apparently like the women are like super horny. - Yeah, I love this. - Women's room. - And I never feel that. - Yeah, because you're like this weird anomaly of a person where you're constantly surrounded by like women, beautiful women, like you don't need to like- - Are you trying to refer to yourself here? - Yes. - You're saying 'cause I have- - 'Cause I'm here, you are around him a lot. - You are around him a lot. - Really, I think you're so hot that no woman can ever turn me on at a wedding. - Do you feel cool walking into a wedding with Natalie on your arm? - No. - Like what she's all dressed up. But I, oh, wait, what? No. - Oh wait, yeah, wait, I don't know how to answer this. I'm like, oh my God, you're like, wait, we're not dating. I could say we don't know the fuck I was. - Yeah, I don't know. For a second, I was like, oh my God, I'm afraid to go. I was like, wait, Natalie. - It's good we have Naveen here today 'cause she is like really positive about this stuff. - Well, Naveen, how do you feel? Women, women more so than men get turned on during weddings. - Well, I think women just think more. And when you're there, it's like, oh, the possibility of like, oh, this could be me one day. It's like-- - I wonder what percentage of people actually end up meeting people at weddings. It's got to be somewhat-- - A lot. - Someone's calling now. - A lot. - Really? Wow, okay. So then, were you on the prowl when we went to this last wedding? - No, that's only because I was like so hung over from your birthday. - Oh. - So I was like really sad 'cause this wedding was in front of all. - It was weird how like, I don't like-- - I was so tired. - Yeah, she was like sticking with me and normally she's like, I'm gonna go try to fuck somebody. - Yeah, like-- - But like, she was like right by my side, the whole wedding. - She doesn't use that language. - I like dumb. - I don't know why-- - You actually be kind of surprised. - Really? - Sailor mouth. - Okay, well, I do say some stuff like, just to be funny, like all like, being able to do the removal for the go. You know, just so like, I came on. - Sure. - I don't like, and I would never say that to like literally anybody else. - No, yeah, I mean, she's just like locker room talking with me just to make, just to make me feel at home. - Yeah, if you walked into like your hotel room on a trip and that was in your bed with another guy, would you high fiverr? - High fiverr, Matt, she's like mid having sex? - No, like, maybe it's done. But she just catch her, they've got covered. - Wait, for sure, well, yeah. - Would you give her a high fiverr? What would you do? - Well, I would, I love like, the breakdown. - Oh yeah. - Like, Alex just the girl, the other day. - Yeah. - And we were all at, we were all sitting, like before the movie started. And I didn't start the night, but like really religious about my movie nights, but I wouldn't start it 'cause I was like, well, give us the fucking play by play. And he was like really weird about, like he couldn't describe it. I'm like, well, who leaned in? What was the exact, like, were the last words before the first kiss happened? Like, how did that happen? And how long was it, was it like, lip lock or was it just like a, and then goodbye? - Thank you. - You know, if you get the real breakdown, are you hugging a pillow when you're asking this? - Yeah, I'm telling you everything Alex. - I'm playing with myself. So I, yeah, I don't know, he didn't do a good job, which is kind of frustrating. He's like, not 'cause he's like shy about it, but he just like didn't remember it. And I was like, what the fuck? What does it even mean, you don't remember? Anyway, sorry, I hate to sidetrack you. So this wedding, what was it making you feel like? - Well, it was such a nice wedding. Like, these were two very wealthy individuals that were getting married and having a beautiful wedding. And now he's all about the fucking, how deep the pockets are at the wedding. - If they were poor, would you have said that? (laughing) - I don't know if I would have been scouting at that. Wedding, um. - She's broke by the fire. - Fuck, you have turned into a sick fucking individual. - I know, I know. - Okay, at least you're a million. - No, I'm kidding. But so, I don't know, what the fuck was he thinking? I wasn't thinking anything. I was like, I'm so excited for her. She looks gorgeous. The wedding is fucking stunning. But I am so hungover right now, I want to die. Someone came up to me at the wedding and was like, you're my whole pass. - Oh yeah. - And I didn't know, I don't know, she was, she's definitely like, pretty, like five foot four, brunette, brown eyes I assume. - Yeah. - Um, I'm describing how we, it was not like, it was not like. (laughing) - But she, yeah, she said it, she said she goes, you're my whole pass. - Wow. - She said it. - Whoa. - And I'm like, oh, what? - Like the first thing she says is, you're my whole pass. - Yes, like right away. - Like you're, I'm, and I'm like, what? And she's like, you're, I, I told my husband, that if I could have sex with one person, it would be you. - Yeah. - You're my whole pass. - That's crazy. - And then I'm like, starting to like, I'm getting a little bit like, panicked about it. I'm flustered. - That's the same thing as going, I want to fuck you. - I mean, basically. - Basically. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I also don't know like, what was I your whole pass, like five years ago when I was posting three times a week? (laughing) - Don't tell yourself short, man. - No, I don't know. - What would argue you're more attractive now? - Thank you, I really appreciate it. - Right, you're really growing into yourself. - Thank you. - You had that surgery. - I don't know. - Who's trying to fuck you? - Yeah. (laughing) - That piece of money. - And Natalie wasn't around me. I was alone at the bar. - Well, that was the thing. David comes back from this interaction, back to the table, he saw a ghost, just mortified. And I was like, what? He's like, you need to come with me right now. I was like, why? I don't know what could have happened. In the five minutes we were apart, maybe less. And he was like, this girl said she's my whole pass. I need you to talk to her. And I was like, what the fuck am I going to say? - Well, I was also like, one and Natalie talked to her 'cause I was like, I need her to say it to another person. 'Cause like, I don't know if she's fucking with me. And like. - I think she was serious. - I don't know if she was serious. 'Cause that's some, okay, this is what happened. Then her husband came over. - Wow. - And she was like, she was like, - Babe, babe, this is, and then she started talking. I was like, I'm so sorry, I can't. And that's when I left to go and that, 'cause I couldn't-- - Did you tell them back? - I couldn't pack, and then I-- - Did you tell people you want to fuck out? - No, that's how it happened. - Yeah, but then you walked away, you don't know what happened. - Well, you wasn't gonna ask. - As I was leaving, she was like pulling me, she's like, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. And I'm like, I don't know if you're kidding, 'cause you really fucking sold it. - I just don't know why you were uncomfortable in that moment, why I was so like, oh no. - I'm totally with David, I'd be so uncomfortable. - Well, 'cause I don't know how to react, 'cause I'm like, okay, listen, if this is like real. - Oh, you're like, you're just-- - I'm like, I'm like, assessing, and I'm like, this, if this is real, I could be down. (laughing) - Well, I'm your husband to be like, I need this to be real, I can't be like, I don't wanna go behind the husband's back. - I don't think you would. - Oh, no, if the husband is okaying it-- - You would do it. - Yeah, if the husband's fine, I'd probably-- - Really? - Not this situation, but I think that's like a really-- - In general. - Yeah, I think that's like a fun like, it's like having sex on a plane. Right, like it's like one of those things like, it's a crazy story. - I wanna off. - Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like definitely, like I wouldn't act on this all the time, but like, how many times does somebody say you're the whole, that is like a strictly celebrity exclusive thing that happens. So not many people, it's like getting to walk on the moon, someone coming up to you and being like, hey, yeah. - Okay, so the husband's like, yo man, you should tap that, definitely. - It's her dream. - I came back into the conversation, I got brought back to the bar and the husband and all her friends were there now. Everyone's like talking about the fact that David is the whole thing. The girl talking to me. - I don't think it was like that, was it like that? - Yeah, yeah. The girl's talking to me and she's like, I think I scared him. Mike. I'm just like that, you know, like I'm, you know, but he, like I don't know, he doesn't need to be like freaked out, I'm not like a scary person or something like that. Like my husband's right there, like he's really chill, he doesn't give a fuck. And I was like, okay. - Oh, so wait, what did you deter? - When the husband was just dancing. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. - Did you think it was real? 'Cause then the bride texted me like a week later, which was a couple days ago. And I was like, there was this girl, there was this girl and you were our hall pass. - I think that it definitely was real to some extent, there's why she sent it. - And then it just kind of was like, it freaked me out in the end. - Do you think she're Iraq? - Yeah, yeah. - She thought I was a Iraq. We're having sex, she's like, era, I'm like, oh my God. Yes, it's me. - Can you go hide somewhere in the hotel? Can you sneak into the hotel for me? - That's really fun. - Yeah. - Well, I'm trying to think, if I was in that situation, what I would do? - If you were someone, well, you're in a relationship, so it's gonna be a little tough for you. - Yeah. Or I'm trying to think like Naveen, you have a, I don't know if Naveen has a hall pass. - I don't have a hall pass, 'cause I genuinely believe I could sleep with anyone. - Right, but you don't tell Jason that. Yes, she does. She just told me. - I think if you have a hall pass, it's like someone, that's why it's so flattering that she had you. It's like someone that, it's so, it would be so insane, you'd be in the same room as this person. - Right, yeah. - That if you do find yourself with them, sleep with them, like that's crazy. - Exactly, that's why I was like, that's why I was like, either this isn't, that's why I really was like, this isn't feel real, like out of every human being. - Well, that's the part where, that's the part that trips me as well. (laughing) - Yeah, I was like, she doesn't know your personality, man. - Huh? - I don't know, I think I would just stop at the looks and then like, - Yeah, like, if I want a hall pass, I don't think you're hall passing someone for their personality. You're all passing sounds. - And like, I don't know if I'm not looking at you, I'm like, oh, he's gonna take me around town and give me a good time. - Duck, he's definitely not. - Yeah. (laughing) - If anybody has, if there's anybody that still has me on the hall pass list. - Like does he know which finger goes where and how many, like, I don't know. - Right, he's all five. - Exactly. - I mean, it's like a game for me. If it did happen, if it did happen, I could see it going like, okay, David's my hall pass, oh my God, David, I'm so glad. And then when she got into the hotel room, it could go so weird in sideways. Like right away, like David would be like, oh, is it okay if we put this light on, but that this light off. - No, no, no, no. - Creep with the shades like this. Oh, hold on, that was bad. - The bathroom, did my breath stick? Okay, let me get some gum. Let me chew this gum for a couple of minutes. - Wait, you're saying that she would think that? - No, that like the reality of it, like, she sees you online. She thinks you're a cool dude, but I'm saying, the reality of it, when you were in that situation, all kinds of shit would go wrong, I'm sure. Like he awkwardness of it. - It would be great. - Oh, I think it's actually bad for him. - Now you think he'd go in there and be doctor smooth? - Like so much pressure. - Yeah. - You do? Well, you don't know him. - Wait, wait, wait, I'm so confused. I think it's backwards. I think she, and I'm not even like, I think online, I would appear to know a little bit less, like I know what I would be doing. And then, I'm not even trying to have myself up, but I feel like if she liked me, I think she would like me because she'd be like, oh, this guy's never. - Well, walk us through it. - Yeah, so she's finally. So, I always take my socks off first. - Shut the fuck up. - Okay. - Oh, my God. And I go, I go, where you at this little piggy to go? - Ew. (laughs) - I'm kidding, that's disgusting. No, it's enough to talk about that. Anyway, yeah, I don't get the same feeling of horniness at weddings, I'm trying to think about like where I am the most turned on. It's probably like, probably like a flight, but that's just the elevation. - A flight? - Yeah, the elevation does do something to you. - Oh, oh, oh, every time I land in the U.S. - That's when you're horny. - That is when I am most into wanting to hook up with the girl. I never want to hook up with anybody when I am just here doing my thing, but then when I land back, it's patriotic, just like that. But then when I land back in America. (laughs) - I love this country. - It's not in my seat. - Yeah, I think it's 'cause I'm in foreign countries, and I really like the girls there, but I don't act on it. So that carries over to when I land, and I'm like, "I gotta meet somebody." - I do act on it in foreign countries. I feel like maybe, like Devin read my chart, my astrological chart, and it said that the only successful I relationship I would have would be with someone who wasn't born in the U.S. - Where were you born, David? - Lebanon. - Oh, nice, nice. - But maybe that's true for you too, 'cause your roots are like somewhere else. - I don't know about that. - Really? - I don't know. - You're cooking up in different countries. - Okay, don't hook up, but maybe you could meet a girl when you're on your trip sometimes, stand touch. - That's all. - I mean, I can't do that. - Really? - Something tells me he would be with a European girl. - I met this girl, it was like a year ago. And she, I talked to her right before she left on a trip to go to Italy. - Yeah. - And she's going for a full month. And I met her five days before she left, and she texted me four days before she left. And she's like, hey, can we grab dinner or something? Can we hang out? She asked me out on a date. I was like, obviously, I'm terrified of dinner dates. So I was like, yeah, I'll pick you up, but just like hanging out, whatever. And it went well, and I kissed her, and that was it. But then I told her, I was like, this is, okay, so I was actually really transparent with her. I was like, maybe even too much. I was like, I was like, can we just hang out when you're back? Because I don't want to, and I know I'm thinking too far ahead here. And this is just like a girl I just like met out. I'm like, if there's any chance that I like you, I don't want to like you before you go somewhere for a full month. - Oh. - So I was like, can we just do this, like, when you come? - When you come. - She come back yet? - Yeah, she came back, this is a while ago. And she left, and then she texted me, and I just couldn't keep up. I was like, I couldn't do it. So I didn't talk to her for like a month, and then she came back, and I was like, kind of already, like, my mind was like gone. And that's, yeah. - It sounds like you're putting up some roadblocks. - No, there's no roadblocks. I just can't like keep up with someone from out of the country. I don't like texting. - Right. - Calling is like, calling, I think it's reserved for someone that I actually love, love. - Yeah. - Like, when it gets down the road, I just can't do that. - But even saying that, like, hey, let's do this when you get back. It's kind of like, why don't you just kind of like, go with the flow? - Oh, I did. That's why I ended up hanging out with her before she left. Oh, sorry, and then we, yeah, we hung out before she left. - How you did? - And I kissed her, and I was like, really into her. And I was like, I told her, right there. I was like, fuck, this is exactly what I was talking about. Like I'm so excited. And when I hang out with you like in three days, but like, I know this is gonna evaporate the second you leave. And it did, so I don't know, maybe that's my problem. Maybe that's something I need to work on, but. - Well, I think next time you have to like, follow your gut and just not see them before they leave. - Yeah, I think that's what I'm gonna do next time. But how's been your day in life, dude? That's you now. - Oh, shit. (laughing) - We really looked at Jason. - We were talking to-- - Yeah, they were gonna be funny. - I was, that's why I said you. - All right. - We were talking to Natalie earlier about going out on dates and like casting a wider net, like going out a lot and like seeing like lots of people. - Mm-hmm. - That's what Naveen did. - Well, what do you mean, what did you do? - Well, I just like made a decision to like-- - Wait, how long did you live in LA for, sorry? - Like 15 years? - Okay, wow, so you're dating here for a while. - Yeah. - Okay, sorry, going out. - Yeah. - But I took like two years where I was like, I'm gonna be like so serious about dating. And so like I just said yes to everyone. And like I went on like three dates a day sometimes, like I was just always at home. - Are you still playing that game with Jason? - Yeah. - Saying yes, that's why you're stuck with Jason. - Yeah, usually even the middle of the day. Go down to Starbucks, then she'll call me when she's done. - Wait, that's crazy. - But like how, I don't even understand how you got to a point where there were even that many men that were putting themselves out there enough to ask you on a date. 'Cause that's the thing, it's like I talk to guys. I mean, I know that maybe it's a different looking woman. - Well, no, no, it's not laughing. I just think that's like a funny way to. - Well, this is a good question. Like I don't understand. - Did you just ask her like why are guys approaching, like how are so many guys approaching her? - No, it's not even approaching. I get approached by men. Okay, I'm not like some fucking grandmother. - Oh, I chill. - But I just like to get them to act, to commit to asking you out is a different thing. - I think you have to really like, guys are really dumb. And. - I think like yeah, the more you have a word, you can be. - You have to like tell them. You have to be like, this is great talking. If you wanna, you know, if you wanna take me on a date, that's great. - If you don't do that, do you tell guys, are you like, hey listen, I'm just, I'm looking for something serious. - I'm looking at my person. - You should spook someone. - I should just start scaring people. - Like if a girl told me. - My don't, that's fine, and I get, yeah. - Oh yeah, you should say that, like if like, I wasn't just trying to hook up with someone at a bar. - Yeah. - It's like a girl was just like, should have like, listen. I think you're cool, and I've had really fun, but I don't wanna do this. - I've had really fun. - Wait, why? - I thought you were kidding me. - Turning into a mini. - I had really fun. - But I know. (laughing) - Get out of my way, I'm out of my way. - Wait, excuse me, what are you saying? - Get 'em out of my way. - Get back to the group, what? Anyway, yeah, if the girl was like, I've had a lot of fun, but like I'm only looking for something super serious, like right now, especially I'd be like, fuck yeah, this is so exciting. Look, I don't wanna, I like it. I like it, you're telling me exactly what you want. And it would actually, yeah, now I know I'm not wasting my time and you're not fucking around and we're locked in here. Even though this is some stupid first date that we had, like it's just nice to know that you're not doing this just to get a fuck, you know what I mean? - Oh my gosh, I don't like that language. (laughing) - Sorry, but like, you know what I mean? - Don't go to a police station. - Okay, so what do you suggest, like what do I say? But I need more for it. - 'Cause I'm definitely not for it. - Everyone, I went on a date with that, like I like, every time I was forward it was like, it just moved it forward. - No, like how did you get on the date? (laughing) - So I lived on a sweet story in West Hollywood. There's like a lot of single men on that street, but I also just forced myself, like I went out every day to do stuff and like I would talk to people or dating apps, I like, I think I dated everyone on a dating app at one point, like everyone. - How many dating apps, sorry, how many dates did you go on in one year? - I was like literally going on like three dates a day for like a long stretch of time. - Shots? - The fuck up. - Like it was like a lot, like it was a crazy number of dates. - Shut the fuck up. - Yeah. - Wait, for how many days a week? - I'm sweet just a lot. Like it was like-- - Do you think you went over a hundred dates in a year? - For sure. - In a year? - For sure, wow. - What? - I just like wanted to see-- - A hundred dates in one year? - I'm sure. - Okay, and how, this may be too much, but how many of those did you kiss? - Well, so that's the thing, like I don't, I'm not a super, like I'm not intimate unless I'm like with someone. So it's more so just getting to know people. - Right. Well, that's what I imagine. - Yeah. - You can't go on three dates, and you're hookin' up with people. - All of them? - Yeah. - No, I slept with all of them. (laughing) - How often, like, let's see, you go on a date, let's see, you go on the first date. How often would that turn into a second date? - Second date, I would say pretty often, but then like, that's when you kind of know, and then it's like, no. - Oh, and how many days would you, how many second dates would you continuously? Would you have, have you ever had three, four second dates in the same week? - I don't think so. - And were you really open? When you dated Jason first date, or I know you guys like first dated and then it came back, whatever. - Yeah. - When you guys came back to try it again, were you dating anyone at the same time? Like were you going on a date with anyone that night? - No, no, no, no, no. - Oh really? - When I came back and Jason and I went on that date, we became boyfriend girlfriend. - Yeah, she told me right then and there on the date. She's like, so look, you want to be boyfriend girlfriend? I never heard that in my life. (laughing) I couldn't believe it. I thought it was you. - Whoa. - I told you that. - I thought I literally thought you were behind a bush. (laughing) - And now tell the fucking idiot you want to date? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I literally was in my mind. I was like, damn Dave, you are good. I was like, this is good. - Well, that's just-- - But it was real. - That just goes to show how nice that is, Nat. - I was saying that. Now they're married. - Yeah. - I mean, you really fucking searched. How did you know that Jason was the guy though? I don't get, I know he's great, but like, you met a lot of guys. - Something like even before COVID stuff happened, when we went on dates, like we really like got along like so much. - Okay, how many dates did you go on before COVID hit? - Three. - Wow. - I think three. - Okay, and did you guys ever have a kiss there or anything? - Yeah. - We kissed and then we, I didn't sleep with him for two years. - Yeah, no, just 'cause you guys stopped talking. - Yeah. - That's not important. (laughing) - No, we didn't have sex the first time around for those first three dates, no. And then you just appeared. And then she told me she would take care of me while I got a hip surgery. - No. - And then I called her when I had hip surgery and not to be found. - Oh wow, that's really funny. It's like the worst time. - I think you had already left. - I left. - Are you were dating someone? - I had invited you. - She did. She, during COVID, she invited me to like - To travel and he said no. So I was like, my person would have left. - Yeah, that was, I was too scared to go. - And then I remember like, he has kids. He had a bad hip. Like, and a lot of people were so scared during COVID. - Wow, mine. - So I couldn't fall. - Were you like, if you heard one thing that was wrong, which like on a date, would you be like, nope, not this person, this isn't like this to loom thing. Like my person would have left, what you just said. Would that happen to you multiple times on a date where they said one little weird thing. You'd be like, that's not happening. - It depends what the thing is, but that's why I believe you should make, you should be like boyfriend girlfriend with someone 'cause I think if you're dating multiple people at once, when someone says something off or is having a bad day, you're like, eh, okay, I'm done with him next person. So you like are more likely to throw someone away for like a misunderstanding. - Okay. That's why you think you should give people a bigger chance. - I think you should be like exclusive. Like no one's dating someone else, and then like see where it goes, if it doesn't work, then you break up. - And when do you become exclusive? You think from the first date? - No, I think first, I think like third date, you should know if you just wanna see each other. I think people go like six months and they're like, what are we, I think that's right. - No, I actually totally agree with that. The third date sounds about right. - Yeah. - I think that was someone three times. Like you kinda know, you have some sort of deal. - Was there, what was the biggest thing you had to overlook with Jason? Was there like an "ick" or was there something he said? Even something stupid, like I like space, and you're like space. Anything, anything stupid that you found, like kind of icky that you had to like. - I don't think so. - Really? - I'm trying to think. - Wow. - Yeah, there was, she didn't have any faults either. Not that I could see. - So Jay, were you asking to be there? (laughter) - Yeah. - It was like, I could give you a list. - Have you seen this to be? (laughter) - In fact, he takes his shoes off and is it wearing socks? - That's amazing. And yeah, like when you hear like Natalie go like, Jason, your feet are disgusting or like, how do you do it? This is disgusting. Like, what do you think to yourself, Navina? Are you like, I thought she can't smell it. (laughter) - I don't think- - Oh, you're okay. - We had her olfactory's taken out. - Well, I think if you think someone smells bad, then you're not supposed to like, have a baby with them. (laughter) Like, it's like your body telling you, so like, I don't know, like- - Okay, sorry, Nat. I guess no kids would say it. - She has. She has gotten me to wear socks. - No, I need to wear socks. - Oh my God, yeah. I've been using a life changer. - And pretty soon, dear to it. - I mean, his feet haven't smelled in a really long time. - Because I'm like, I literally will be getting, you guys will say you want to do the pod and then I'll be all there. I'll be like- - I'll be like, get these socks. I don't want Natalie to say anything. - I'm like, what does she say? (screaming) - Clean talk, and smell the shoes, smell the shoes. (laughter) I don't want to piss off Natalie. - Damn, so you really have to overthink it when you come here? - Yeah, which I should. I bought an entire new outfit the other day, just to impress you guys. - Wow. - Yeah, yesterday. - I didn't get an outfit. - You didn't say anything. - I want a new one. - Wait, really? - It was just for us or like just- - Well, I was like- - I guess they're cool. - I was like, I'm going over there. I'm like, I want to feel good. I want to look good. So I went to Marshall's and I bought something. - Did we say anything? - That's really cute. - No. - Damn, I'm sorry about that. - Wow. But you don't have that outfit. I mean, like- - Sometimes, my clothes are like all shrunk and old. That's what happens. You just like, you get sick of buying clothes. - I learn- - I never get sick of it. - I learned some new things that I wanted to share with you guys. - Okay. - First of all, I'm going to start off soft. And then you guys will kind of understand what I'm saying here. - Yeah. - I'm sorry. - There's, well, it's really hard. - Did you know this is a TikTok I saw and everyone was commenting saying you're an idiot. But I think it's pretty good. Did you know, deodorant is literally like your de, like no more deodorant something? - Yeah, I'm sure I knew that. - Okay, okay, okay. I'm going to get better. That's where I start. Antiperspirant, same thing. - Yeah. - Okay, okay. Now the word slang is slang for short language. - Yes. - Oh, I didn't know that. I knew that. - Okay. - I didn't know that. - Okay, here's a better one. This is the one that's going to really teach our listener something. - Coincidence literally means two incidences. - Coincidence. - Coincidence. - Interesting. - That's pretty damn good. - That one's good. - Then why isn't it coincident? But it's coincidence. - Well, it's things, some things have to change. - 'Cause it's plural. - Some things have to change. - Also, this is another useless fact. But burger backwards is Scooby Doo offering to give you a like massage. - Burger backwards is Scooby Doo. - Yeah, say burger backwards. - Say it. - I don't even know how the fuck it's-- - Burger dumbass. - Yeah, why are you doing it S? - Why are you doing an S? - Burger. - I thought burger backwards. - Woo! - No, it's reg rub. - Reg rub. - Reg rub. - Reg rub. - A little rip rope. - Whatever. - Whatever. - What is it? Scooby-Doo doing a last? - Scooby-Doo asking you to give you a leg massage. - Reg, but, Reg Rob. (laughs) Whatever, I'll be the son. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - So we're going to South Africa. I wanted to tell you about the itinerary that I'm really, well, first of all, I'm a little bit nervous about it. You know, did you know in South Africa right now, it's 50 degrees? (laughs) - Wow. - Well, I'm the one that told you so, yeah. - Yeah, okay, I know you knew. This is our itinerary, okay, ready, Jay? - Yeah. - So we land. And we're going with this, we're going with this group, the Beyond Group, where they create the most insane itinerary, no matter what we do, it's really, what's insane is the owner of it, Paul. This is all he does for a living. And every week, he's in a new country. - Yeah. - Every week. So he goes to St. Parts for New Years. He'll be in Paris for Fashion Week. He'll go to Morocco. - What's it cost if I want to go into Beyond Group? - I don't want to be a part of it. - I don't know. - I think it's like, actually couldn't tell you. But I know once you pay the membership fee, which I assume is like a hundred per year. - Yeah. - Then per trip, I think you have to put in like 20, 25 grand, okay, okay. So what he does is like, imagine if you're splitting your friends with the Airbnb, you're splitting an Airbnb with friends. - Yeah. - He does that, but to like a crazier, higher level. So he'll have all these people that are like, you'll have one person come in, and you'll have 10 people come in, and each put in $25,000. And with that money, he'll create this full itinerary. So he'll book the house, and he'll be 10 of you staying in the house, he'll book the chefs, he'll book the dinners, he'll book the transportation, the helicopters, every single activity will be done by the group. It's really interesting. The way he explains it, why it's so good, is because there's a lot of people that make that money, that blow it on like going to the club. - Yeah. - Like instead of getting bottle servers for whatever X amount of money at some stupid club, like you're paying for an experience. - Right. - So it's very-- - You probably meet people too, that's probably fun for people. - That's one of like the whole points to as you're meeting other entrepreneurs. - Yeah, they're all like friends, you know. A lot of them go on the same trips together. - Got it. - Like he'll put out the whole calendar, whatever, what the trips are, how to release them, and then you can just let whatever, if you remember, you can just sign up for them. - Wow. - And a lot of the times, it's the same thing. - And luckily we get to go, because we create YouTube videos. - Yeah. - So, so cool. - So we get to help him with his videos. - Right. - And vice versa, we get to come. But yeah, we land 8.30 a.m. We helicopter straight away to orphaned baby rhinos. We learn about the program, prepare milk feeds and feed the calves. - It's kind of crazy. - And then we have lunch, blah, blah. - So cute. - While our life experience. Then we play with Cheetah Cubs that are being, apparently there's some lions that they're like rehabilitating. There's like, so the president of South Africa has his own private reserve. - Yeah. - And that's, and it's like one of the only reserves that has these, the baby animals that you can like interact with and they're rehabilitating them and stuff. - Yeah. - So I get to do that. And they have right now two lionesses that they've rehabilitated. They want to reintroduce into the wild. - Which is why I'm really excited. Have you ever seen, one of my favorite OG YouTube videos of all time, other than military coming home videos? - Yeah. - There's this video of these two guys that raised a lion in their apartment in like Ohio or some shit. And the lion obviously got too big so they had to, you know, they had to let him go. He went into the wild. And then like eight years later, they're like, fuck it, we're gonna go see this lion. - Yeah. - And they decided to record all of it. And these guys see the lion. The lion fucking tears them to shreds. (laughing) - No, good. - Oh, no, she said, no, okay. - The lion, the whole video you're like, there's no way the lion's gonna remember them. And the lion comes up, jumps on the guy and starts hugging him and introduces him. The lion is now the leader of his own like little pack and like shows him to all the other lions. It's fucking crazy. I've not seen each other for a bunch of years. So like, I know that's not what's gonna happen 'cause we're meeting these lionesses for the first time. - Yeah. - But imagine. - But like, imagine that the lion was like, "Sup dude?" - Yeah. - I'm good, good. - I was watching a video of like how they return bears to the wild. Have you seen this? - No. - So they'll, when like, they reintroduce a wild bit, I don't know if this happens everywhere, but it was basically they have a wild bear in a cage and they're opening it up for him to run to the forest and to scare the bear away. And so he doesn't attack any humans. It's just 10 people standing behind the cage. And the second the cage opens up, everyone's like, (screaming) Everyone starts screaming and starts shooting guns. - Sending Natalie on a date. - Yes. (laughing) - Everyone starts shooting guns. - Get out of here. - To scare the bear away so he never comes back. I think that's really interesting. - Wow. - So I wonder if we'll have to do that. So the bear, 'cause I think they're teaching. - I think I think about this a little too hard. I think it's good. - Yeah, are you releasing anything? - Okay. Well, we're releasing lionesses. - Okay, okay. - So the lionesses are gonna go back. We're gonna get to see this, which is really sick. - That's crazy. - Okay, and then the next day, this is really interesting. We get to do clay pigeon shooting. - So fun. - Which is like the most bougie. - Yeah. - I don't know. - I don't know. - I'm excited to watch it. - I fucking hate guns. Have you like guns? - I hate guns. - No, I don't. - Like straight up, like a rifle. - Like an activist is how much I hate guns. - We do. - I think that I want to go shooting with one of our friends in a shooting range. And the second I shot it, I was like, there should be in nobody's hand. Ever, ever. I love Nerf guns. I get, I love video games. I have a real life guns. I am like, like a fucking, like the biggest pussy when it comes to guns. - That's kind of kind of what it is. - Well, you only feel that way because you don't feel comfortable with guns. That's the only reason you feel that. - Uh, no. - It's something you don't know. Like you don't feel like confident with it. So it's like, of course, it's like so- - I don't own a bean. I've like, when I shot it in my hand tremor, and I could feel the power of the thing. And then I imagine it going into somebody's head on the other side. I'm like, this is, this should not be fucking, this should not be allowed. - Yeah. - I don't know. - This is great power comes great responsibility. - I guess. - Spider-Man. - I know I get that. I know you're playing to my weakness here. Spider-Man would do it. - Spider-Man would do it. (laughing) Okay, and this is my favorite activity. - Okay. - That we're doing is stargazing from Africa's biggest telescope. - That's, you're gonna, that's, - Wait, that's so sweet. - All the things. - All the things. - We get to play with the cheetah cubs. - Which is like cool. - What, it's really so cute. - I'm very fortunate where I've gotten to see baby. - You've seen baby cheetahs and lions and tigers. - Do you know that cheetahs are actually the only animals that have never killed anyone out in the wild? They've only killed people in captivity. So there's a good chance. - I can't be true. - Yeah, 'cause I think they just don't hunt humans, but in captivity, they're just to get angry and to agitate and stuff. - You're telling me, you stumble upon a cheetah. And that, you know that, in the safari. - I don't think it, I don't think it would kill you. Yeah, no, unless you're like agitating it. - No, you're trying to get these kids. - Yeah, I think you're good. I think if anybody is on a safari and wants to fuck with the cheetah, - I think you should earmark that stargazing thing now. I think you probably get some really sweet David in those muscles. - I think you guys are gonna have a crush on each other during stargazing. - You're a fucking dumbass shit. - I hope so. - There's gonna be, there's gonna be something. - There's gonna be something on that night. I know it, 'cause you're excited about it. And then it will like just naturally unfold. Unfortunately, I think there's, well, it's not unfortunately, but there's going to be lots of beautiful women on this trip. I don't think that I will be that, the center of achievements. - Unfortunately, I'm not looking at attention. - But who is other girls coming? It's so hotter. It's super hotter than me. - Yeah, no, I'm really excited about the biggest telescope in Africa. The Africa's a fucking ginormous continent. So I can't imagine being, I just want to see, I want to see a planet. Like I want to see a planet with the naked eye. I want to like, I don't know, I'm so curious about it. - You guys gonna drink on the trip or not? - Hell yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah? - I think so. - Probably yeah. - Is it like a nightlife or not? - No, but like it's, there's like 25 people on the trip. - Oh, oh, so hell, like the day itself. - You're basically at like a club, but you're in the safari. - Oh, yeah. - It's DJ? - Okay, that's a crazy statement. You're not basically at the lot on this planet. - Yeah, and the lines they come up with, they know your name. (laughing) They say David, they say Natalie. - Yeah, all the bouncers are ostracists. (laughing) - Your idea of what it's gonna be like. Please send me a picture of the fucking 10 that you're in. - No, no, no, no, but it should be really fun. And then there's, then there's this, this is what I opted out of, which what God, you can say next, now I wanted to do it, but I was like, I wish I just go home. 'Cause they're staying for like two weeks. But I'm like, let's just go for a week. Like, it's not to exhaust ourselves. - Yeah, we're staying for six days. They're staying for an additional five days. - Don't you think you might get there and be like, this is awesome, let's stay. - Yeah, I could see that. - Yeah, I could see you doing that. - I think that'll be like a pivot once we're there. But this is what I'm not like super excited for. - It's not an easy pivot. I've packed accordingly for five days, Steven. - That's so funny how you pack. I just throw everything in there. - She's such a nerd, huh? - Yeah, I'm gonna lose it. - No, but they have this incredible experience. - You're at the way in the helicopter. - Shut up. It's a mobile safari. So they have like a staff of like 50 people. And they pack, you go to, you'd for five days, you're going around in the bush, in the open land with all the animals. And the staff is packing everything up, setting up. your tents in new locations every day, and you're driving whatever to the new spot. And like you're in, like you're just like, it's the most like raw organic. It's still five star luxury, like Taylor Swift has done it. Which is what they, this is how they try to sell me on it. They were like, Taylor Swift has done it. David will love it. But I'm like, listen, like you can't just name job celebrities and expect me like that. Celebrities go to Burning Man. Do you know what I mean? Tom Holland. No, it, I'm just like, I am the, I'm unfortunately the biggest diva when, like I travel with my duvet. And today I was just told that we have to travel with the pack of light. I'm like, what does that mean? Like, where the fuck I put my pillow on my bedsheets? Um, yeah, so that's, that's the only thing I'm opting out of. And the last trip went to where we were in a safari in a tent, um, other than like the, the massive insects and the snakes and then the little finger monkeys that come in later to steal all your stuff. I mean, insects are really heavy, like when you're sleeping in a tent, but the worst part was probably, I've talked about this before, it was me, Ilya, Natalie, in one bed because we were too scared to sleep in our own tents, and there's like one moment, like when Natalie got up to pee. And I thought there's no walls in this fucking tent. I thought we were being hit by a laser beam. The sound that echoed through the tent, strong stream. It was, all day I've been distressed. It was like someone was powerwashing like one of the cars, the toilet was basically a hole in the tent. It reminded me of home because we get mobile car washes here. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. And it feels, it felt good, I was like, oh, something's being washed. It felt good. It felt good. You're free. So you liked it. No, it was so loud. It was fucking freaking good. I had, it has guarded me for the rest of my life because now it's in the vlog, I think, right? It isn't. Did you juice the audio in the vlog? Probably. Yeah, probably. I probably had to just to create the exact audio that we heard when you're experiencing in person. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't a lie of what we were experiencing. I mean, I looked at each other like, that's Natalie. I mean, yeah. She must have been a good 50 feet from the hole with the amount of speed this thing got. It reached. I mean, her piss reads terminal velocity. For sure. It couldn't have gone faster unless you shot out of a gun. I was like, so self-conscious about being now. It's actually crazy. That was amazing. I'm like genuinely. I think I spent so much because I'm jealous and I wish I had a straight nose as happy as that. Shut up. I, when I pee here in the bathroom that's next to the kitchen and I, everyone's like, and I know David sitting in the living room, I'm like, I know that I have to be quiet. And I literally, I want things you can't quiet. But no, you can't. I can control it. Like I can, like, you put your ass cheeks to control it. You put your ass cheeks around the bowl. So there's no sign on it and put your legs around the bowl. No. Why? No, I don't. I don't want to do that. You haven't heard the stream. Wait, wait, wait. Sorry. I talked over. What were you saying? I'm saying she's trying to, when she goes to pee, she's self-conscious. So she tries to make the pee sound quieter, but how does she do that? Oh, yeah. What is this? Well, the secret is you throw it down to shoe paper or sometimes that's causes a splash to be extra loud. I just, like, I just go slow, like I go really slow. Do you aim for on the bowl? And I aim for the side. Can you do that as a girl? Yeah. I live for my right leg. And the air. And I put it on the wall. And then on the right on the other wall. Yeah. When I'm in the split, it comes out like real slow and quiet. Wow. Okay. That's fucking disgusting. Yeah. No, I also pee like that. Oh. Okay. And when I'm very insecure about how long my pee is, so I like have to silence it. Do you hear me pee when I go? Like where? Like here in here? Yeah, because I'll notice other guys will go pee in the bathroom and I'll start looking around. I'm like, who's going to comment on how long this pee is? And no one will do it. So then I'll be like, okay, I won't either. Like. So weird. Well, like I'm always, I'm always like, and then when I go pee, get me to get any work done. When I go pee sometimes. What you got to do is when I go pee and I have always peed like this, I'll pee initially in the bowl to let, I don't do this as much now because I'm not as insecure as I used to be. But I'll pee in the bowl, like right in the water to let people know like, hey, I pee just like anybody else. And then I pee on the side of the bowl. I say. So you're trying to put a public restroom situation. Yeah. Like first, I pee down the middle and I'm like, guys, this is how healthy my stream is. But I'm taking it out of respect to the side to make it quieter. Or what? You give them a little preview. So I do the whole process. I go, this is what you can get, but out of respect, I'm just doing this. Wow. Thank you. Yeah. So I just, I don't know. Like some guys just like, you know, that's a pretty good stream. Oh, we're, where did it get quieter? Yeah. And then the girl will go, he's doing it out of respect. That's how I imagine it. All right, guys, listen, this is all the time we have for today's episode. Yeah. It's been an honor doing it with you guys. It is time for us to go to South Africa six in the morning. We will report back next week.