Finding Out The Gender Of Our Rainbow Baby and Telling Our Families Finally

Thank you to Quince for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Let me tell you the seasons are changing. It's starting to be time that we can get out our denims again. We can get out our sweaters and there is no better place than Quince. So many of the things I'm constantly reaching for in my closet to layer up, dress up, dress down, come from Quince because they have very, very high quality products. I'm talking 100% Mongolian cashmere. They have silk organic cotton wool. They have those premium fabrics but at an amazing price. Everything at Quince is actually priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands and that is because they work directly with ethical factories, cutting out the middle man so you're paying for high quality, not brand markup. Actually just last night Matt was telling me that he grabbed his shorts. I don't fit my clothes. I've been hitting the gym and so I need new clothes. He bought me Quince swim trunks that are really high quality. I wear them all the time when we go on the pool with the boys. I'm excited to see which he picks out from Quince for me next. Your nice khaki shorts are from Quince. Wait the khaki that I wear like literally every day. Yep those are from Quince. You don't even know where your clothes are from but if you had to guess they're probably from Quince because I love shopping their min section as well for Matt. You can wear them in many different ways for many different seasons. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to Quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks you where you heard about them, let them know that unplanned sent you. It's the best way to support the show. Did you feel any gender disappointment Matt Howard? What's up with the answer do I give right now? The honest one. It has to be completely a hundred percent honest. I was coming to terms with the fact that I didn't have like a girl size hole in my heart. Like I have like an Emerson size one. Like I just like wanted her. Yeah. Having another baby girl wasn't going to fix that. I've seen videos of where it's like they're about to announce they pop balloons or whatever. And then the mother pops it with like pink or blue. Like she steals the announcement. Oh that is horrible. Right. Should we say with the gender is? Sure. Three, two, one. It's up. What's up dudes? Welcome back to unplanned show where we talk about our lives. What? That's not the right show. That's always here. That's the new show that we launched. We never made like a cool slogan front plan. You know. I know. It was all unplanned. Yeah. We actually did comp a lot of planning for. I know. Yeah. But I guess it's kind of part of the fun of it, right? It's kind of crazy that we've gotten to interview the people that we've interviewed. By the way, thank you to everyone that has commented on the Elizabeth Smart episode. That was unreal that we got to sit down with such an inspiring person. Some of it's been through literally being kidnapped and held captive for nine months and abused and and you know, just to hear that she's been able to press on through everything that she's been through. It was very inspiring to me. So yeah. Thank you to thank you to everyone that commented and shared their stories as well. Yeah. We definitely know that it was a very heavy subject matter. So it really was an honor to give her another outlet to share her story. I think the advocacy work she's doing is super, super important. And like Matt said, the response from you guys was super overwhelming, too. A lot of you even felt inclined to share your story as a survivor of any type of harm that was similar to hers, which was really, it just means a lot that our play, our platform is a safe place for you guys. And actually, did you want to read some of the comments? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, here we have a comment right here from Laura. She said, thank you so much for sharing as a fellow as a fellow survivor. It's always helpful to hear how other people have dealt with forgiveness with forgiving their perpetrators. I really like Elizabeth's comment about forgiveness about how forgiveness can almost be self-serving in a way where it's like when you forgive someone, you are like releasing all this like anger and like just I don't know, it's like I've felt like times in my life where I just didn't want to forgive someone and then you do forgive them and it makes you feel better. And so I kind of liked how she said she has her own definition of forgiveness and crazy that she was able to forgive her, her captors. I don't know, I don't know how she was able to mentally do that, but that's just so incredible. Here's another comment. It says, that was incredibly intense in such an amazing podcast. I'm currently going through essay abuse counseling myself now after 41 years of hiding it because of shame. I finally am at a place where I'm ready to move on from my past. Elizabeth is such a strong woman. You've inspired me today. It's like so incredible. It really is. And yeah, I getting to talk to her was super surreal. So thank you guys for your response on that. If you haven't already listened to the episode, I really do think that in our conversation she opened up about things that I had never heard about as someone that had followed her story fairly closely. So I do think that there is more value to listen, giving it a listen. Yes. I've already got something out of it that you didn't get out of the documentary that you haven't heard about her story before. And if you guys didn't know this, the more subscribers that we get on our unplanned podcast YouTube channel, the bigger the guests are that we can bring on to the show. I mean, as you've seen, we've had some really incredible opportunities. I'm hoping we can continue to bring on big guests for you guys. And one of the goals we have this year is to hit a million followers or hit a million subscribers on unplanned. So if you have not subscribed, please, please, please, take two seconds just to tap the subscribe button. And it's actually the majority of you guys that want that. Listen, don't actually subscribe. So if you can just take two seconds, subscribe. It's really easy. It's free. It's a free way that you can support the show. And yeah, and then you'll also get recommended our stuff hopefully more frequently so you can see the cool guests that we've that will bring on in the future. Yeah. Thank you guys so much for watching and sharing and let us always know what you want to hear from us next, like who you want to see us talk with conversations with. We really appreciate your feedback. Also, let us know what we should do. Like I think we should do a giveaway for a million subscribers. So if we hit it this year in 2026, we'll definitely do a giveaway. Let us know if you think it should be like a dollar amount. Should it be a trip? I mean, if you have any, if you have any ideas, put them in the comments. I mean, another thing too, right? Like, maybe it's maybe it's like a, I don't know. Let's just say it's like a thousand dollar giveaway. Do you guys want that to be a thousand dollars to five different people? Or would you rather it be like one person wins five thousand dollars? I don't know. I don't know what the giveaway is. I'm just throwing out numbers and ideas. But you think it should be like split up between five people. Yeah. Because then you have a higher chance of getting it. So I don't know. Let us know in the comments what you think this giveaway prize should be. But we want to like give back to you guys. And thank you for the support you've given us for the show. Um, so yeah. Yeah. PSA, I my voice hasn't changed because of pregnancy. I think some people thought that. Yeah. I think we've just gotten all the winter sickness and the spring. What is up with that? So Abby and I both, uh, not, not last night, but the night before just started getting so sick. And I think it's our toddlers that are getting sick right now. Support Abby is like really congested sore throat. She's been coughing. I've been sneezing a lot. I've like peeing my pants like freaking crazy. Well, that's pretty cool. Having a cough when your pregnant is should be illegal. I'm sorry. That's saying. It was weird. I only pee myself in the second trimester. You would think that the bigger you are, the more pressure you'd have on your bladder. But that's not the case for me. Where was the most uncomfortable place you've peed your pants this pregnancy? Anytime it's been in public for sure. Has it happened more than once in public? Uh, yeah. Like a trickle. Like will you see it like on the ground if you pee your pants? That one time at the coffee shop in LA at the coffee. Wait, that's right. Bad move. Don't wear dresses. Wait, that's right. Was that when we were touring the fox lot? Yeah. Yes. I forgot about that. So it's like funny, but it's also like so annoying. Today I was being jumping jacks at the gym and I was like, oh man, here we go. Anything where my legs are spread and I'm jumping. It's not like it. Did you pee at the gym? Probably like a little trickle. Yeah, but it did go like on the gym floor. No, no, no, that would have been crazy. Okay. Really crazy. Where was where where have you peed your pants before? I feel like I feel like paying your pants is something that like at the time you pee at home. Pretty unique to like pregnancy women, like women that are pregnant and then like kids probably, you know? Yeah. I pee my pants more than our kids for sure. Yeah. Well, I guess not the one in diapers. Do they make any products for women that are pregnant? Yes. It's called incontinence. And that's literally what it is? Yeah. I mean, I'll probably have it when I'm elderly as well. Oh, so it's really made for elderly people? I mean, I've already had this point. I think I'm in the minority with the peeing my pants thing, but you know what? I'm just going to be here for anyone that is also in the same position as me. It's humbling. Like literally last night when I, I start coughing more at night when I had changed my underwear like four times. I was like, okay, get me a pad. I felt so bad for you. I was so frustrated. We finally laid out. I'm like, brrrk. Oh, yeah, to watch our show last night. Sneezing. Yeah. It can never be safe, but I have confidence that once we get to the third trimester, I'm not going to have this as much. Speaking of ping your pants in the gym, you're back in the gym. How does it feel to be back at the gym? So good. How many workouts have you done now since you got the approval to be back in the gym? Every day since I've been approved. So is that four or five Friday, Saturday, Sunday was a break? No, I went the first day after I got approved. Oh my gosh. You've done five workouts now. Tuesday. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, six. Oh my gosh. That's a - A lot. Wait, no, that's honey. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Monday, Tuesday. That's fine. - I did Sunday. I went on a two and a half mile run. I'm counting that, okay? I'm counting that. - You're right, you're right. That does count. A run is a workout. - That was the hardest by far. - I thought that you usually run. - The run was so hard. - Yeah, what was it like to run two and a half mile on Friday? - Not good. Not good. I had so much confidence and then I started out, I was like, oh wow, I feel heavy. - Yeah, yeah, running, I don't like to run. I mean, I'm trying to get better at it. I run from time to time. Did you enjoy any part of that? - Yeah, yeah, I feel proud of myself, but I mean, no, I'm not going to do that. Maybe when our kids are in middle school and high school, I'll be a runner. - Okay, okay. - Not my season. - Yeah. - Not my season. - I feel like I would rather, I mean, I enjoy running if I have like cool stuff to look at. You know, like if I could do like a trail run in the mountains, I think I could enjoy that. - Okay, well, that feels like a lot of elevation shapes. - Yeah, I don't want that. - I want you to be flat. - You want it to be flat? - Yeah, of course. - Why flat? - Are you kidding me? - But like, it makes it boring. - No, I can make it way harder. No, I actually, my friend that was running, or what do you mean, that was such a weird question. Why flat? - I mean, I don't know. It's just like it's just like it less, it's like you're on a track and you're just seeing the same thing over again. - I think you did. - Over again. - I'm trying to place that scenic that is also flat. - Thank you to Ladder for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Guys, if I'm honest with you, coming up with the workout routine is not easy. I've struggled with doing that myself and that's why I'm a huge, huge proponent of using Ladder, because they have a workout plan with an expert coach that can be done from anywhere. So you can just go on your phone, have this expert like walk you through your workout, have a video of like every single motion you're doing to make sure you're doing the form properly. And if you haven't heard of Ladder, Ladder is an expert strength training plan. It's real, progressive programming design by certified coaches. You get a new plan each week that builds on the last and there is an in-ear coach that guides you through every set with cues, for reminders and motivation. - The app also remembers your weights, reps and sets, so you can see yourself getting stronger over time and I think that accountability is really strong and important. - Oh, 100%. - Because even I forget, I'm like, what did I do last time and it's hard to make progress if you're not pushing on what you've already built? And so that's great that Ladder has that built in. - Remove the guest work with Ladder and get a real coach in your ear telling you exactly what to do for every workout. No thinking, everything planned just for you. If you have an iPhone head to ladder.fit/unplanned and take a quick quiz to find your perfect Ladder plan. Use our link and get a free seven day trial with no credit card. And $10 off your first month if you join. But yes, a big development that we, I think you guys already know this. If you watch Abby's Instagram or pay attention to short form content, is Abby is off pelvic rest. - Yes, let's first of all explain that for those of you that don't know. - Yeah, pelvic rest is something that women have to do which is no working out, no intimacy, no sex, nothing like that for however long the doctor says. - Well, most people get put on pelvic rest by a doctor if they have placenta-previa. Which means the placenta is covering your cervix. - Which you didn't have. - I didn't have that. I think our doctor was just being extra conservative. The placenta was 1.62 centimeters from my cervix and he said he'd like to see it over two centimeters. - Oh my gosh, I didn't realize we were talking about literally like point, tiny amount. - We were talking about 0.28 centimeters. - I know and I actually was kind of confused because like odds are I'm going to have another C section. And I think this is more of a concern if you're planning on having a vaginal delivery 'cause you don't want that to come out first. - Wait, so then I'm confused. Why was that a problem? - I think there's other risks associated with it being on the cervix, but yeah. And I also think they're just being extra cautious. You certainly appreciate, especially given our circumstances. - I mean, we did what the doctor said, but yeah, we didn't have sex for literally a month you guys. Which is for us, it was hard, it was very hard. I literally, you know what's funny guys? This is what's hilarious. I was hanging out with my guy friends. We like all got together because our wives schedule like wife hangouts all the time and we're like hey, we should have a guy hangout, we should have a dad hangout. Let's all play pickle ball. And so we did, we like all hung out and we were just chit-chatting it up. And I was like cracking a joke about how like, you know, just, I don't know, just between guys just joking about. - And our whole podcast audience now. - I guess you guys are hearing this now, whatever. But just about how like active Abby and I are in the bedroom. - Oh my God. - Next day, literally doctor goes, yeah, so you guys have to take a break from that for a month and I'm like, no, I'm like, what? This is crazy. - And the office, I said, oh, oh, yeah. - So that was, that was funny. I think my friends thought that was funny for me too. - That's good, yeah. - I'm glad everyone else thought it was funny. - Did you think it was funny? - No, I didn't think it was funny. - Well, okay, be honest though, what was worse? Of like, of what you, actually I think you're gonna say working out. At the beginning, I was working out and then at the end, it was my dream. - Or you looked at, can we say this? You looked it up because you know how, and I experienced this when Abby and I were dating. - Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't go there. That has to stop. I know exactly where you're going and it has to stop too far. Okay, let's just. - What's the appropriate way of explaining what it is? - There's none. - You can't, okay, okay, okay. - There's none. - Never mind, we're good, we're good, we're good, we're good. - We're good. - Just think about. - You just beat your pants right there? I am so sorry. Do you need to go to the bathroom? - I'm staying right here. - You good? - The next guess that comes and sits on this couch, we'd be like. - There'd be like this is where Abby did herself. - No, I didn't go all the through guys, just trickle. Anyway, better than a pause, Matt's thought there. Let your mind fill in whatever gaps you wanted to do. We're all public rights, it's fine, everything's good. Actually, the placenta of us had moved a lot, which actually surprised me, 'cause I was like, how is this actually even gonna help? The ultrasound tech, or so at our follow-up appointment, the ultrasound tech put the sonogram on and she could tell right away that it had moved. And they were kind enough, they saved us like the large doctor fee. - Yeah. - They just like kept us in that room and didn't have us go in the doctor room. And they're like, I must have moved like considerably. - Part of me wonders if one of them somehow came across the clip of us talking about how expensive medical care is in the United States. - No, I don't think they care. They're like no big deal. - Yeah. - But I thought, I was, yeah. Anyway, we're cleared, everything's fine and the baby's looking good. So that's really, the matter's the very most. - So thankful that baby's happy, healthy. At the time of recording this, Abby is 23 weeks pregnant. Next week, by the time you guys are watching this, it'll be at 24 weeks, which is the week of viability, which is so incredible, 'cause I guess if women ever go into preterm labor or anything like that, the baby's good, right? - Yeah, or they have to take the baby off for some reason. - Yeah, which is just crazy that a 24 week old baby can live outside the womb. That wild. - There's a lot of help, but. - Yeah, I mean, it's not ideal for the baby, but it's wild that our technology is advanced that much. Have you ever seen a baby that's 24 weeks outside of the womb? Because when we got the skin, last time they were telling us that our baby's over a pound. - Yeah. - No, my friend had a baby at 28 weeks. - That's early. That's really early. And then I guess you're just in and out of the NICU for what, three months? - We went a few months, yeah. - Remember when we had Haley Hess and Mitch Hess on our podcast, they said that their NICU bill was $7 million. I'm having triplets. Crazy, right? - It's insane. - How do you feel about traveling to Hawaii next month? We're going back to Hawaii. How are you feeling about that with? - I'm excited. I feel like that would be really good for our family. Like to have just like some time away to kind of just enjoy and slow down a little bit. - Our boys are obsessed with waves. Like I've been going in the wave pool with Griffin at the Revel Surf Park, which is in Arizona. It's like a surf, like a local surf place. It's the only place you can surf in Arizona is Revel Surf Park. And Griffin loves going in the waves with me and just like letting the waves hit us and just like jumping into them and playing in them. He's been obsessed. I'm excited to go in the actual ocean with him. - Yes, it'll be so fun. We're kind of doing a couple different things in one stay. Staying at a resort and then staying at a house. And I think we'll kind of get like a good experience out of it. - Are we dumb? Are we dumb for not just like either staying at only a resort or only staying at the house? - I mean, we'd only stay at the resort and be very expensive. - True. But then when you have to pack up your stuff and move it, I think one travel with kids, that does suck. But yeah, one time isn't a big deal. We actually did that the last time we went to Hawaii as well. We packed, we stayed at an Airbnb. - So, we'll think about next week when we had Disney, we're gonna pack up every single day. - But I thought for Disneyland, I thought the resorts pack up your stuff. Or I thought they like move your luggage for you between our toes. - We're hoping. - Yeah, you're right. Dang, are we dumb for doing that? - Yeah. - That's so dumb. Should we talk about why we're doing that? - Yeah. - Okay, so I had this idea, guys, to stay at every Disneyland resort that there is. There's only three of them, there's not a ton. I've seen like a lot of YouTubers do videos about staying at every single Disney world resort. - Which is crazy, 'cause how many Disney world ones are there? - Maybe if people enjoy this video, and we're able to like recoup. - That'd be so fun. - Somehow recoup our investment, we'll make another one. But yeah, guys, I've seen a lot of YouTubers make that video and some like, let's do Disney Land. Let's do the three Disney Land hotels. Yeah. - They do. - They do? - Nice. - They move it for you? - There's some Disney Land hotels. - Yes, so we just pack it up and put it in our two cases and then they'll just move it between the resorts. - It's like you have to bring it to Kelsey. - Yeah, it makes sense. - Okay. That's awesome, actually. That's so nice. And then they'll just be in our room for us when we get back from the parks. - Did you see that it'll arrive at your new hotel? - You've got to get it from the bell service at the other. - So this is one of those YouTube videos that I'm so excited to film. You guys, because it's just, I think it'll be fun. Like, staying at every single Disney Land hotel. And while we through the different hotels, there are, Abby. - So first of all, okay, the different hotels, there's Pixar Place, which is like their newest one. Then there's the classic Disney Land hotel. And then there's the Grand Californian. Which the Grand Californian is the nicest one in my park. - It's like the deluxe. - It's like within the park itself. - It's basically in the park, yeah. It is in the park. - That's crazy. So, we're doing this trip for many reasons. First of all, we love Disney. Second of all, our kids have birthdays close to the baby's due date. And so we're gonna need to be a little proactive about celebrating them in advance. And they always wanna go to Disney. They talk about it like every single night. When they're sad, we're like, just think about Disney. And then they make them happy. - I love how casually they ask us about going to Disney. - Yeah, they're like, can we just go to Goofy's kitchen right now? I'm like, we're out of state, but no big deal. - Yeah, that's gonna be happen. - That's when we had to explain to them how like money works and how we have to work to make money. And we can't just like go to Disney Land all the time. - We have Magic Key Passes, which is basically like their annual membership to Disney Land. But we have like a tier that's like lower. - Yep. - Like one of the lowest actually. So we have like a ton of blackout dates, including which we did not know this all of summer. - The entire summer. - So. - Who would have thunk it? - So we can't go like all of summer. And so we're like, okay, well, we obviously can't go in August 'cause we're having a baby then. And we're probably not gonna wanna go in September 'cause we're gonna have a baby then. So if we wanna use our like Magic Key Pass, we need to go now. And so we just like last minute book this trip. And then we'd always kind of been sitting on this YouTube video idea of trying out all the resorts. And we kind of combined everything to this trip or celebrating both the boys. They'll still have birthday parties. But like this will be like their birthday, Disney trip. And we're also filming this video of trying out all the resorts, which I think the kids will be, I think it's so fun. 'Cause we don't usually stay on Disney property. - Yeah. - We usually stay off property just because you save a lot of money. - Thank you to Cash App for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. - What if the card that you spend your money on had discounts and rewards for the places that you spend the most on? For me, that would be travel. I love travel. We do spend a good amount on travel 'cause we like experiences over things. - Flights and hotels. - Yeah. - It adds up. - It really does add up. - And Cash App just released a new status program for the way that people actually spend called Cash App Green. It unlocks new ways for you to pay, get rewarded, and easily grow or manage your money on your terms. - Now, when you spend at least $500 a month with the Cash App card or Cash App Pay, you earn green status, which unlocks benefits like up to $200 off free overdraft coverage, higher borrow limits, and custom personalized cashback offers every Friday at places you love to shop. - Turn everyday spending into status with Cash App Green. Download Cash App today or visit cash.app/new to learn more about this and other great features launching now. - For a limited time, new Cash App customers can earn $10 if they use code Cash App 10 in their profile at signup. And send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Baking services provided by Cash App's bank partners, prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank member FDIC. Cash App green, overdraft coverage, borrow, Cash Back offers and promotions provided by Cash App, a block ink brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. - But here's a deal, babe. When we stay at the hotel, we usually stay out for Disney Land. - We get like a two bedroom. - We get like a two bedrooms. The boys have their own room. We have our own room. What do we do? So we're all gonna be in one room. - Yeah, we're all sharing a room. - Dang. - Yeah, which is so funny, because August wakes up about two hours earlier than Griffin. - Well, just have to go to bed when our kids get home. - And there's no way they're gonna be able to nap because we're gonna not have a room available. 'Cause if we're switching every single day, our check-in won't be till after their nap time every day. We'll have to check out at the other place before then. So we're just gonna have a sleepy trip. - We're gonna have to go hard. - We're gonna have to, we'll probably have to like, go back to go to bed. - Go hard and go home. - Yeah, we should probably like skip nap time, but then put them to bed. - We don't have an option. - Around like 730, because they're gonna be absolutely tired. Okay, maybe leave the park at 730. - Because that's also so lame. We'll never get to see the world of color. - How late do you wanna stay? - The light prey. - How late do you have to stay for world of color? Is that like an eight o'clock show? - I don't know. - We'll figure it out. - We'll figure it out, yeah. - But it should be really fun. I feel like it hasn't really sunk in for us that that's like literally happening. - Yeah. - We'll be in Disney at this time next week. - Wait, that's crazy. By the time you guys are watching this video, we'll be in Disney. Oh my gosh. - I know. - That is so cool. I'm excited for that. - It is so fun. I can't believe that we'll be celebrating a four year old and a three year old that trip. - Gosh, that makes me feel old that we have kids that old. That's crazy. - Easy. - How do you feel about the fact that we are gonna be empty nesters before we're 50, probably. Unless we have a surprise gift. - Assuming that we stop at having four kids 'cause I feel like that's the number right now that we have in mind, I would say. That means that our last people would be born when we're both 30. And then the kid would be out of the house when we're 48, right? Yeah, 30 plus 18 is 48. So gosh, yeah, we won't even be 50 yet and we'll have no kids in the house. I think my vote would be just to move back to Hawaii, honestly. - I'm gonna do that one. - I think I would just go surf every single day. I think that's what I would do. What do you think you would do with all your time with that not having kids? Would you just like cook? Would you just like open up a soup kitchen and cook for people? Like I feel like your level language is like baking and cooking. Like maybe you could just like open up your own little, like Abby's soup kitchen and you can just like feed people in need. - Yeah, I would like that. - I could help you too when I'm not surfing, you know? I don't know. - I'm not a cook. - I don't know. I know how to run a business though. Maybe I could like help run the volunteers or something. I don't know. Yeah. That would actually be really fun. Like one day to have a non-profit of some sort. Like something that we're really passionate about. - I could easily see us doing that. - And here's where I go back and forth on like the non-profit thing because like it'd be fun to start our own, but then there's also so many non-profits that already exist. - That you can partner with or donate to because they've already figured out the logistics of like helping people and they just need money to help pay the expenses. So I don't know. But I do see the joy in having your own. Where it's like, it's like your baby and you're so excited to like help people. - Yeah, for sure. - Yeah, I mean what do you honestly see us doing when we're 50 years old and we have no kids in the house? - I'm sure I'll just follow my kids around wherever they decide to set roots. - Do you think we wouldn't like-- - Start going into mom, mother in law mode. - Yeah, just help with the babies. - Hopefully grand mom mode pretty quickly too. - Yeah, do you think we'll have-- - I'm so excited. I've already come up with, I'm Lollie, your pop. - Oh my god, Lollie and pop. - Yeah. - So 23 years from now, Griffin will be 26. We already had a baby when we were 26. - Me too. - So we're about 27 right now. So yeah, I mean, maybe when Griffin is 26, maybe he's already gonna have a kid. - You never know. - Who knows? - We never know. - Maybe he won't even want to have kids. - No, he was to talk about it. - Really, that's right. Yeah, he does. - He is only three, so we're not gonna hold him to that, but I would love that. And I feel like I should be hanging out with my friends, like planting parties, volunteering. I might take up some hobbies. I feel like when I'm older, I might gulp or something. - You would gulp? - Probably pick a ball. - I could see it's being pickle ball partners. - Whatever is on trend at that point. - I could see it's also playing tennis. - I'm gonna have a bootball. - I might start a library. - People are sleeping on tennis now. Now that everyone plays pickle ball, if you look at like pickle ball courts, the pickle ball side is always packed, and the tennis courts are just wide open. - Okay, let's do tennis. - So I thought about getting into tennis, 'cause I think it takes more physical skill, right? - I'm sure you're gonna run a lot for tennis. - Okay. - I think that's like a good workout. - I'll take up tennis. I might actually be a fitness group, fitness instructor. - I could see you doing that. - That'll be fun for me. Or maybe I'll just start working on a coffee stand so I can just chat it up and make coffee. There's a lot of things I could do at the time. - I think finding stuff to do in our spare time is not gonna be a problem. - I'll just be throwing gatherings. - Yeah. I think the bigger question I wanna ask is like, what are we gonna do as a family for the next 20 years, like with all these kids? 'Cause I've got all these big ideas for travel. Like I think we could probably try out, like doing some RV trips, like renting a big old honk and RV and like going to national parks. - Are we those people though when you really think about it? - I think we are. - I think I am. - I think I need a good shower. - Well I think the RV has a good shower babe. I think we could shower in the RV. We could literally poop in our RV. - See that? I don't know. I mean, I give it a shot. - 'Cause I think like logistically that you don't have to like get all your stuff out of the vehicle and then like your home is on wheels so you can take it like from national park to national park there's different campsites that you have hookups to stuff up your water too. - That's the interesting thing with traveling like that, I feel like you spend your whole time trying to survive. That you can't really just like have fun. - Okay, I also do see the-- - Like if you have to go empty out your toilet, then it's like, think about what you could have done with your toilet. - I will say, if you run the numbers, I can actually be cheaper just to stay at a budget hotel than it is to rent or buy an RV, 'cause RVs are really expensive. So I could see that, but I do, I wanna be like an outdoors family, you know? - Yeah, me too. - I don't wanna be the family that's like on screens all the time. - And then it comes, well we're not. - Yeah, I know, but like that, I think it's like easy to slip into that trap. And so I wanna like be the family that just goes on hikes and adventures and, you know, we can even be the family. Maybe one day we get a boat. Like I know boats are a ton of work, but maybe one day, maybe one day when we have like a bunch of pre-teens and teenagers and stuff, maybe it would make sense for us to have a boat. - I always seem to make friends with someone with a boat. - That's true, that is easier. - You don't have to take care of the boat. - I don't know the first thing about taking care of the boat. - I've heard that. - What is it as a ballast? - Well, you know, my uncle used to have a boat and then they sold it after a while 'cause I think they had a lot of problems and then there's a lot of maintenance and then they had to keep moving it whenever they moved. And yeah, so, I don't know. I have heard though that-- - I didn't go on a boat until I was in college. - That's right, that's right. And we went tubing together in college. - Yeah, and I loved it. - What? - We need to take you tubing again. - My family wasn't a lake family. - Yeah, why wasn't your family a lake family? - I think they're afraid of it. - Why are they so afraid of the lake? - 'Cause they only go to Disney. - Yeah, your family, that is weird. Your parents are Disney adults. They're like, your mom is a definition of a Disney adult. She's got all the popcorn buckets. - I love that. - Yes, for many years. - I hope to have that same confidence one day. - She just buys things that are Disney just because it's Disney. - Yeah, why do you think I'm the way that I am? - Because, yeah, because of your mom. - Right. - You're just like your mother. - Really? - I think I have more like my dad sometimes. - I would say you're an even mix. I think I'm an even mix of my parents too. - Yeah, I think so too. - I'm weird, you know, so. - You didn't have to make it negative, you did. - I was like teasing you. I was trying to like make you laugh there when I said you were just like your mother. - I know. - I know, it wasn't like the funniest joke. - You always say I'm just like my grandma. - That is actually true. Yes, that's true. I think you're the only person that says that. How do you think I'm like my grandma? - No, I don't really. - She doesn't think I'm my grandma. - No, I don't think so. I think it's like, well, Abbie's grandma has like so many friends, like she's like the, she's like this social girly in her community. Yeah, I feel like that's you. Thank you to Zach Dock for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Raise your hand if you've been putting off a doctor's visit or a dental cleaning or an annual checkup. I feel like that's a lot of us. - I actually need to go today. - Yeah, actually. - I just rescheduled my dental cleaning 'cause I have a busy schedule, which is exactly why like Zach Dock was created. Because guys, we're busy. It's hard to like fit appointments in. And that's why I like doing my doctor's appointments through Zach Dock. If you haven't heard of Zach Dock, it's a free app and website that helps you find and book high quality in-network doctors. So you can find someone you love. We're talking about booking in-network appointments with more than 150,000 providers across all 50 states. - Whether you're looking for dermatology, dentistry, primary care, eye care, or any one of the other 200 plus specialties offered on Zach Dock, you can easily search by specialty or symptom to build the care team that's right for you. - After I had a concussion, I was able to schedule a same day appointment with Zach Dock to figure out what was going on. And when I was like curious if I had ADHD, I did that all through Zach Dock and that's actually how I was able to get my diagnosis as well as prescribed my medicine for ADHD. - We use Zach Dock and you should too. Stop putting off those doctors' appointments and go to Zach Dock.com/unplanned to find an instantly book a doctor you love today. That's zoc.oc.com/unplanned. Zach Dock.com/unplanned. - Thanks Zach Dock for sponsoring this message. - Do you think I'm outgoing? - Like you're like, yeah you're outgoing. Like you're the matchmaker of friends. Like you put so many different people together. - Thanks. - That's just a fact. - I was wondering if I'm outgoing in my, I was just wondering if I was outgoing. And I'm like, I don't actually think I am. I think I'm, this is the thing about my personality that freaks people out. If I don't want to talk, I don't talk. And then it freaks people out when I don't talk. And then people reach out and think there's something wrong with me. Freaks your parents out. - Yeah, I always feel like I need to talk. - Yeah, I don't feel the need to fill silence if it's quiet. - I've been trained by John and Teresa to fill the silence. And the only time that I'm not gonna fill the silence is if I've like known you for a super long time. But if you're someone that like I don't know well, like we can't have silence. - Really? Yeah, I'm pretty comfortable with it. Like it doesn't even cross my mind to fill it. But then people, I know that I'm the weird one because people like text me after they see me. And they're like, "Hey, was everything okay?" You're like, "You were more quiet than usual." - That's really funny. That actually happens to you? - Yeah, it happens to me this week. - I've never once had someone text me that. - It happens to me this week. And if I don't want to talk, I just don't. - But when I'm in an Uber, you know what I always do. - And it doesn't mean that something's wrong. I just don't feel like it. - I always talk to the Uber driver when I'm in an Uber. - You stop doing that more though. - I, okay, true, a little bit more. But even like recently when I was stuck in stranded in LA, talked to every single Uber driver. - I know that's how I actually thought that you had your spark back. 'Cause you started talking to people on planes and Uber's again. - Oh, thanks. - Yeah. - Do you think I have my spark back? - I think you're getting it back. - Oh, thanks. I don't know. Okay. - You're getting it back. - I'll get it back. All right, thank you, babe. (laughing) - I'm not, that was, that was a compliment. - Is it hard for you to talk right now because there's like all these concerns. - I don't know if it does hurt. - And like see, I don't even, my throat doesn't even hurt. It's just all up here. I can just feel all this congestion, all this like headache going on. - See, you're kind of ruining my thing with being sick. Like I gotta just pretend I'm not and just keep going forward. - Oh, yeah. - Keep treating it like everything's fine and then just get over it. But then last night I hit a real tap out moment. - Yes, well you did tap out. - I did tap out. - It's just okay. - I said it was my flag. I'm done. - I just, I just hint. Which I, like you usually do the mornings with the boys and I usually do bedtime with the boys. But I like, I think I, - I was like, I actually, you're not gonna see me. - Yeah. - I'm gone. - Yeah. - But hey, you know what? It's fine. - Totally. - Should we talk about the gender reveal? - I think we should talk about the gender reveal. Should we say what the gender is? - Sure. - Three, two, one. It's a boy. If you guys did not already know that we're having a boy, we're having a boy. I think we've been putting out some different videos. I think there's like a gender reveal, YouTube video out. If you guys wanna go watch that, that was like so much fun. Finding out the gender ourselves, that whole journey, was like really exciting. We also threw a gender reveal party for all of our friends. Which, can we just be honest, babe? It was just an excuse to throw a party. - Of course. - It was a really good party too. You did an incredible job throwing the party. - It was so fun, Z's. I had a great time. And yeah, like let's go back to the beginning. 'Cause we found out the gender at 10 weeks. - Yes. - We did the early, like I think it's called the NIPT test. - Yeah, earliest we've ever found out. - NITP? No PT. - NIPT test, we did like the whole screening. Just being high risk, we were recommended. So it was the first time we've done that. And so obviously we're gonna find out the gender in a way where like if anyone knows, it's gonna be us. - 100%. - And so the day that we got the results, we sent it to my mom who was like beside herself, given like being given this duty. We read the gym and there was a glitch with the site that was like, show like the lab that they sent it to that would have the results. There was a glitch and she was going crazy. 'Cause she was like this close to knowing the gender. - And it wouldn't show it? It wouldn't show any of the results. And I think at this point, like I was obviously very excited to know the gender, but just so like wrapped up in fear about anything being wrong. 'Cause I also knew that this test was gonna reveal everything, like basically assessing the risks for the baby having any of these like genetic problems. And I don't think they say that your baby has it, but they assess like high, moderate, low risk. - Yeah. - And so I'm like more so worried about that at this point, very eager to know the gender of course, but just so wrapped up in fear. And so then my mom, I was like, mom refreshed the site, 'cause now I think it's working and she's like, she texted me off, which is like, it's working. Okay. And then like that day, she's like, oh, I didn't know you were gonna find out today. I was like, you don't get to just sit on these results by yourself for several days. - Yeah. - But we went to Hobby Lobby 'cause we couldn't find natural flowers that were blue. - Yeah, well we went on an entire journey to go find blue and pink flowers because the whole idea was for our boys to bring us out the color of flowers that the gender of the baby was. And so-- - We could find lots of pink flowers. - Yeah, and we couldn't find blue ones. We ended up going to Hobby Lobby and we found-- - It just got fake ones. - We found fake blue and pink flowers. - Beautiful fake flowers. - So cute. And then the boys, you know, brought us the flowers that the gender of the baby was. - Yeah. - And so-- - And so-- - I feel like this brings up the topic of gender disappointment because this is like a hot topic among the new mom community, the pregnancy community. Because there you got one side that's like, you should just be grateful and like don't, you're not allowed to feel like that's so crazy. Like just don't bother, don't worry about it. And then you have the other side that's like, no, like your feelings are valid. You're allowed to like feel disappointment in some way. Did you feel any gender disappointment about Howard? - Oh gosh. I'm like, what's up with the answer do I give right now? 'Cause-- - The honest one. - I've liked the honest answer. I mean, I guess, I guess to be completely-- - I don't care, I just be honest. - I guess to be completely a hundred percent honest. Yeah, I mean, like we lost our daughter because of the miscarriage. And so I really, I really did want a daughter. So I think at first I was just like dang it. Like I really wanted that, More than anything I wanted that for you, 'cause I want you to have a mini version of you that you can just go get your nails done. And I just see the sweet bond that you and your mom have. And even if our kid 20 years from now was watching this video back, it's like the fact of the matter is, I'm so excited to have three boys. I think the switch of my brain quickly turned on of like, oh my gosh, I am one of three boys. This is something that I get to experience just like my dad did. And I had this conversation with my dad when I took him to Universal Studios on like a boy's trip with me and my brothers like two months ago. And we just talked about how fun it is to have, you know, your boys and how like, maybe I go golfing with our boys and we can like two of us are on one golf cart, the others who are on another golf cart. Like there's so many fun things that we can do as just guys being dudes. I'm excited. - Yep. I would say for me, I did feel gender disappointment for about 30 seconds. - Okay. - Maybe less. - Yeah. - I think that I've always said like, I just feel like we're gonna have boys and then sure enough, we had one boy, we had our second boy. And then like, I was like, I love the boy life. And then losing our daughter definitely opened up like a desire for something that like, much greater than I'd ever had before. Like of course, I'd always love to have a daughter, but it was just like, I never really like felt an obvious preference. - Yeah. - Did you feel guilty at all for feeling disappointed? - No. - You didn't feel guilty. - I did some learning to feel my feelings. - Yeah. - Just let them be. - So I had always pictured having all boys and then we lost a baby girl and that kind of opened up a preference in my like, in my heart for a daughter that I'd never had before. And so then getting pregnant again, I was kind of like nervously like hoping like, a whole man, I hope we have a daughter. I hope we have a daughter. And then this is gonna make me cry. But I think the reason I experienced that disappointment for like 30 seconds was because I was coming to terms with the fact that I didn't have like, a girl sized hole in my heart. Like I have like a Emerson sized one. - Yeah. - So like having another baby girl wasn't going to fix that. And so I honestly think that this was like, sweet grace in a way that like, it's very obvious now that this baby is not ever gonna fill that gap. - Yeah. - This is a totally different baby, totally different pregnancy, which has also been like a sweet reminder too that this is not the same thing. We're not reliving the same thing over and over again. And so then I quickly like, I feel like you could even see the video, like the span of like 10, 15 seconds. I just like, it felt so excited about like this little boy, like just so excited. And I just feel like it makes a lot of sense with our boy life. Can I have a tissue please? - Yeah, for. - Like I could totally see this boy joining our squad. And like it being like just a whole lot of rowdy fun in our house and like it has been. But honestly like that moment, it feels so foreign to me because we have known that we're having a boy for so long now that it's like, I even kind of forgot that I felt that way, but I do want to acknowledge it for any mom that just like does feel the same way. I know some people feel gender disappointment way stronger than that. I'm almost hesitant to even call it that because it's like. - We're so excited. - We're so excited and we're so thrilled. And we honestly, relatively, it doesn't matter at all to us, like the gender of this baby. We just wanted to have a baby. Regardless of if it was gonna be a son or daughter. It's like, it's almost hard for me to even remember being like, oh, I'm kind of like disappointed by this. But I also want to be honest with myself for myself and for people that also have like experienced that. Mine didn't run super deep, but because I think I just like, I just really would love to add another member to our family, regardless, but now it just is like boy squad over here. - Yeah, boy squad, literally same exact family dynamic as what I grew up with being the middle child of three brothers. - I know, so funny. - Which, guys, I sent Abby a video earlier this week. By the way, thank you for sharing that. - I welcome you. - That was very vulnerable view. And also I think it's cool. I think it's cool that we're acknowledging that like the slight gender deployment that we felt, 'cause I think it's normal to feel that. I don't, I think where it ends though is like. - It ended the second we found out. - Yeah, yeah, and I think, and I think like if you're someone that is having severe gender disappointment where it doesn't end within say 24 hours, maybe this one you need to go to therapy about and talk through why you wanted that specific gender so bad. 'Cause you don't want, I think it's important that you love your kids so much. You never want something like that to come between like your ability to love your kid, you know? - Well also I feel like a strong gender disappointment. Maybe I'm wrong, but in my opinion, really strong gender disappointment is honestly, like you putting on all your hopes to dreams for your kid and like mourning all of that at once. Like say like for, if you're like, okay, a girl is gonna be like my little dancer, like Valerie is just gonna do everything I did. She's gonna dress like me. She's gonna do her hair like me. She's gonna do her nails when it's like, maybe this girl is not gonna wanna do any of those things that you want. It's like you're building this like a whole dream on a stereotype. - Exactly, well that's like what I said. - You could be a baseball player that wants nothing to do with, you know what I mean? And I sent you a little video I saw of Chris Hemsworth with all of his boys serving-- - Can I make that sound like a boy? - In Australia and I'm like, and I'm like, this is my dream. But like, I'm not gonna force that on our kids. If our kids don't wanna surf with me, I'm not gonna force them to surf with me. Maybe it's like we make our kids try things. It's like I'm just like we make our kids try foods. I'll be like, okay, you're gonna try surfing. If you hate surfing, you don't have to, you don't have to keep surfing. We're not gonna make you. But like I think, I think like it's really important to acknowledge that and yeah, I am really excited 'cause I can just like visually see like me taking our boys, like all of us together as a group, just going and surfing or going and golfing. I don't even like golf, but I would love to golf with my boys. Like, you know, snowboarding trips, hitting the skate park together, doing literally anything, anything together. I'm just excited for it. - Oh, I'm stoked. I'm like, we already know all the boy things. We got it, we got to unlock my, and my really good friend just had her third boy too. So we always talk about like any time we go anywhere, we're gonna be totally around six boys in total. - It's a lot of boys. - Therefore we can't go anywhere except each other's houses are apart. - Gosh. - Like where are we gonna go? We're gonna take him to a restaurant. Six little boys to a, no. - We need, we'll have to go to a restaurant that has a play, a little play set, you know? - They can only be outside. That makes boys together. - I've actually thought about this. I've thought about starting up some sort of business or coffee shop or restaurant that has like a built-in play set for kids. - There needs to be more like the Joe's Crab Shack. - Yeah, yeah, there's a Joe's Crab Shack in Southern California that has a play set and we love taking our kids to that specific Joe's Crab Shack 'cause they can just play. - I know. - And we can actually eat our food in peace. - They can't sit still. - Yeah. - But yeah, no, we're totally thrilled. We've got all the clothes. They are pretty wrecked at this point though 'cause our boys go hard, but. - I know, we're gonna save, we're gonna save some money 'cause we don't have to like buy. - Yeah, I think people will say that. - But here's what they forget. Is that moms a lot of times want their kids to match 'cause then they just end up buying all new things. Each kid you have, it's just 3x. Starts off as 2x. - They don't have to match all the time. - They start to have as 3x. - Just maybe matching on weekends. We're going out to a dinner and we're getting family photos. We can get all matching outfits. Get matching swim suits. - It's just so easy to add. Like if you see a really cute outfit, you're like, okay, I don't know. I guess we gotta get it in every size now. - How do you feel about like embracing being a boy mom? - I know, do I seem like a boy mom? - You're a boy mom. - I guess I do, seem like a boy mom. Like I feel like it's so, I like love it. - How funny is it that like, I'm a dude that did tap dancing in ballet class. And I'm a boy dad, how funny is that? - Exactly, there's no blueprint for what we expect of our kids like for their life. Like they can do, they can do their thing. - Yeah. - They're so excited too. The boys are so excited. I think the way that we did it, they had no idea really what brain blue flowers meant. But now that the baby has a name, we talk about him all the time. And they like make plans for him all the time. - What'd they do? - Oh my gosh, all the time. They're like, oh, I'm gonna say the name by accident. But. - Yeah, they've been, well, they spoiled the gender to like our entire family before the gender reveal. 'Cause they kept referring to the baby's name. And it's a male name. So people were like, oh it's a male. - Wait, say that again, say that again, say that again, say that again. Well, I think you spoiled it a couple times too. - Yeah, I accidentally said something about being like a boy dad and something about like, I think I might have said something about trying for a girl, which I know I'm not supposed to say that. - I just think it sends the wrong message. I feel like when you say you're trying for a girl, it makes it sound like you're having another kid only in the hopes that you can have a daughter. When that's not the case at all. When we, if and when we go to add another member to our family. - Yeah. - Well, can it be both though? Like, can we be trying for a girl? - No. - No, it doesn't work that way. - 'Cause if you're trying for a girl and then have a boy, then you failed. - Was that, oh, like, and that's like bad. Like, we're supposed to be like, whoa, we're sad. Like, what, I'm just confused. - That should have a baby should never be classified as a family. I'm confused at this point. Okay, I see what you're saying. Yeah, there's no. Yeah, I did not view this in any way as a fail Never say it ever again. This is gonna get it's also not how we view it This is gonna get clipped and then someone's gonna be like wow Matt hates Boys or something. I don't know anyway. It's a great. You love boys. I do actually I do really I actually really like having boys I love it, but I really want a girl now. Um, oh my gosh, but if it doesn't happen. Okay, I take that back I will be content if we have four boys. You have foot and mouse syndrome. Let's just put that out there I do I do. Thank you so much to better health Responsory this portion of today's episode. I know a lot of people are feeling the burden of the inflation in our economy right now Financial stress is a really real thing and I know people personally that are experiencing it We've had different seasons of our life where we've experienced it and actually statistically 88% of Americans feel some sort of Financial stress at the start of 2026 and struggling with money doesn't mean that you failed sometimes It's all about just accessing the right kind of support and that's exactly where therapy comes in I actually started going to solo therapy was I a year ago now? Yeah, wow I feel like I'm more emotionally intelligent. I feel like I'm a better version of myself to my wife my kids And with over 30,000 therapists better help is one of the world's largest online therapy platforms having served over 6 million people globally better health does the initial matching work so you can focus on your therapy goals They just send you a short questionnaire to help identify your needs and preferences and they're 12 plus years of Experience in industry leading match fulfillment rate means they typically get it right the first time But if you aren't happy with your match, you can switch to a different therapist at any time I always think that as a mom. It's a personal duty of mine to show up as the best version of myself for my kids and for my husband and for my family and for my friends And so I think therapy has really helped me access that more when life feels overwhelming therapy can help sign up and get 10% off at Betterhelp.com/unplannedpodcast that's better H-E-L-P.com/unplannedpodcast I also say things as they jump into my brain and then I like process them After they've already been said that's why I've recently started trying with you and it never works I do want to try that again. I like that. No, you don't you don't like it when I say it. No, you don't. Okay. Okay, next Next up we we did a poll on Instagram to see what you guys thought the baby the baby's gender was and 72% of people said they thought it was a girl. I know I know they're so sweet I think like everyone wanted us to have a girl because of what happened But it's which is so sweet like they everybody meant everybody meant well And I love that this baby is it's just such a this baby's gonna be so loved. Oh So loved and it's just so Like I said before it's just a really sweet reminder that this is like a new a whole new thing Yeah, going through because a lot of times like especially early on I was like oh my gosh I have for reliving this and I can like a lot of fear around reliving that We also consulted all of you guys on Instagram. Thank you to everyone that's following unplanned on Instagram The unplanned podcast on Instagram We we did a little poll about gender reveal hot takes and The first hot take was mother-in-law's need to make sure they're not stealing the spotlight at the gender reveal I want to agree with that. I've I've seen some a huge phenomenon, so I didn't know that was a thing But I've seen some like ticktox where like mother-in-laws do oh I feel the spot right? You're gonna to hold me back What do you mean like do you think at our kids now we have three boys? I am the mother-in-law X three. Yeah, so She and I'm one that I'm an eager beaver. Oh, yeah, but I think well Do you know what's happened? Like I've seen videos of where it's like they're about to announce and then the it like goes off And the balloons or like they pop balloons or whatever they have like poppers and it's white and then the mother-in-law pops it And does the popper with like pink or blue. She's the one they announced It's like she steals the announcement from from the couple. Have you heard of that? No, that's like what's happened Like she's the poppers. I don't yes to where the mother-in-law is the one that announced and yes. Oh, that is horrible Right, but like I think I wouldn't I it is almost it just hands down I would literally never even think of doing that. I've only saw like two videos like that though I've only seen intimate gender reveals recently. Have you seen? There's been a resurgence of intimate gender Yeah, I think every I think every let's be honest. I think like every influencer got scared of doing a gender reveal that like goes viral for the wrong reasons. We did it. We did a big gender reveal. But ours was never like we didn't go crazy Like there's people that have done like drone gender reveals where they have like drones showing like the color in the sky There's our our sweet friend Nicole the nomad Partnered with a firework company, which she didn't know they like surprise you guys have probably seen this video It wouldn't viral like two years ago, but our sweet friend Nicole the firework company that she collabed with surprised her and rather than doing like a little Pew like yay one firework. It's a girl level. They did like the most the most the most We'll have to put the video up. It's actually really funny We'll have to see if it's okay. I don't know like we would have been respectful of her She's so sweet. I felt bad that people were not being the nicest in her comments But like you know gender reveals some gender views have got a little crazy, you know They've got a little little cuckoo crazy Um, and so we just did like some support as we said the whole no I as we said the whole reason that we threw a gender reveal party was literally just a celebration of Life a celebration of pregnancy. Yeah, because like it's just another thing to just be grateful for because we were literally planning the gender reveal for Emerson Yeah, when we found out like the horrible news and so like the fact that we got to that milestone like if I'm totally honest Everything and we did not want to throw a gender reveal party for so long I in fact, oh you didn't plan it until like the week before because it just felt like it was not gonna happen. Oh, yeah Like it just felt like the rug was just about to be slipped out from under me again And that's why I was saying like it was so nice to also be reminded because we did know the gender at this point Like hey, it's not the same thing. It's not the same thing like this is totally different It's totally different but even still like my friends were so sweet They're like let me help like and I just couldn't even let anyone else do it because it just felt like This pipe dream that we would have this gender reveal like it just felt like it was never gonna come and so yes It is silly to have a party about the sex of your baby, but and like the deeper level is that it's like Oh, we're just celebrating that we got to this milestone of like this age of pregnancy that we never thought would get to and Like we get to just celebrate that Babies growing we're here. We know more about this baby and like it just felt like More than ever. It was important to celebrate like Everything that was happening with its pregnancy. Yeah, I just honestly view them as more of an excuse to throw a party And I find it interesting here because one of the comments that we saw on Instagram was someone saying that they're not even like a Thing in Europe like in Europe nobody like throws gender reveals apparently. They're too classy Which I get it like yeah Europeans are classy people, but guys it is fun throw parties are fun Gotta just even if it's just like a pink cake, you know Just a little something a little something something, you know, you get and then you get all your friends and family together I also just love having parties at our house. Here. I'll get you Actually, can we explain like a little bit of like what we did at the party? Yeah, so the theme was a baby is brewing. I got it off Pinterest. Don't think I'm trying to steal somebody's idea It wasn't original But then we had our favorite local coffee shop light heart coffee come into a coffee stand and they did pink and blue cold foam on top of Coffee beverages. Yeah, and matcha and chocolate milk and lemonade so we got all our bases covered and So it was real everyone had fun like picking out their Color of cold foam and their sprinkles on top. It was really sweet. We had a beautiful balloon Display with little coffee beans on it said baby is brewing for a girl and we have a lot of LDS friends or what you might know as Mormon and so our LDS friends don't drink coffee They don't we did one on a chocolate milk and so we had chocolate milk for them Which was I thought was so thoughtful of you to have Trot like the the coffee the drink is dry the coffee cart had chocolate. That was awesome and We had some pastries from a local Bakery called chunk that they're the sweetest ever. They have been yeah Just consistently the best ever to our family and their pastries were so good If you are local you have got to try them out and we also had some chicken minis from Chick-fil-A and then we all just like hung out We didn't do any like games or anything Yeah, everyone just hung out. It was a beautiful day. I had oh I hired a turf cleaning company to clean our turf before they didn't reveal Because our turf smells like poop and pee now that we have a dog. It's disgusting and so they did a good job cleaning the turf It didn't smell bad. I Did I set up all the tables and chairs and you know, I've logged to hold on you guys should watch the vlog It was a fun. Yes, we made lots of videos of the day I think it'd be fun like I love throwing parties so much We should start just like making like party prep content We just like vlog a setting up the party everyone can watch like I think it's fun to watch videos too of parties being set up Like to see the change from like nothing to something being done to school and then and then it's just like funding with our friends Seriously, it was a really fun great day Yeah, great more of the horror stories. Yeah If you're not going to be happy for both genders don't have a reveal or a child That's what the hot take is from this person I think that's pretty accurate Yeah, I mean like I I could see that I think I think like some people I could see where someone would have like Like don't do it publicly if you're really gonna be so yeah Yeah, if you are I agree with that if you are gonna be like affected by not getting your boy or getting your girl Maybe do a personal reveal before the actual party like you don't want to like you don't want to that just I could make people uncomfortable if you're like, ball, if you're like, ball like after gender reveal. Like it's like, it's a boy and you're like, I wanted my girl and you're like, ball, like you don't wanna be doing that, you know? - No, I feel like the videos I've seen are like, the dad will have like, two perfect, little sweet, little girls and they do the poppers and it's pink again and then he gets so mad. - Yeah, see, like you gotta just tell the guy before, like process that before the party. - Wait, that guy probably should. - Yeah, maybe go see your therapist before. - Maybe schedule therapy appointment to work through that. - That's weird. - That is weird, yeah. - Like to actually be mad. - Yeah. - Actually the book I'm reading right now that just happened. It's called The Frozen River. - Yeah, what is the book about? - The dad really wanted a boy and he had a third girl. - And he's upset. - And he was really mad 'cause he needs help. It was also the 1700s they had. They had to make their own album. - Wow. - They look, yeah. - That's crazy. Do you talk about your books on always here? Sometimes. - Or people. - I've read a lot of books that nobody knows about too. - Do you like the, I got you new books, is this? - It was really sad. - The book that I got you was really sad. It's by the same author. - I gave it five stars. - You gave my book five stars. It's the same author that wrote a man called Ove, right? - Is it over Ove, I don't know. - Ove, a man called Ove. - I don't know. - Another person submitted, this wasn't really a hot say, but she just said that she shot her husband with paintballs. Which, that's kind of fun. - That's a good way to do it. - That is a good way to do it. I mean, his back's been turned pink no matter what, so you might need to have some very-- - No, there's just a wear a white shirt. - Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Yep, I'm dumb. - I think I've seen before someone did like water guns. - Yeah. - Blue or pink water, that'd be kind of fun. It gets a little crazy at some point. - Also, I think this goes without saying, you guys have been so kind and supportive with us since announcing that we're pregnant with our rainbow baby. I think this is our first episode back since our announcement episode. So just like seeing you guys commenting nice things, supportive things in the comments has been just really encouraging. And I think we have like a really cool community here. Like I think you guys are cool. Like Abby got to meet a lot of you guys at an event that she did for her always here podcast. And I feel like the community for the always here podcast is very similar to the unplanned podcast, similar to the man, Abby community. And I think the consistent theme I've just seen and the people that we've met is just how you are. You're also kind and you're also just genuine and nice and like positive people. And that's like the people that I want to surround myself with. And I know that Abby wants to surround herself with too. So thank you to everyone for just the immense amount of like kindness that you've shown us. 'Cause we are genuinely so excited for this baby boy and it's just gonna be fun to watch these boys grow up together and rough house and wrestle. I think like the more I read about like birth order and learn about like the dynamics between siblings, I think like well, correct me if I'm wrong, but our game plan right now is to have our fourth as soon as we can after the third. Just because like having kids close-- - Well, it'll be a long time. - I mean 'cause of the C section, it'll be a long time, but yeah, the closer they are together, I think the closer they can be as like friends. Feel so bad, I feel so bad that you're sick. - We'll have two little duos. - Wait, but we, okay, this is a new development that we learned this Abby like two weeks ago at a pregnancy appointment. There's a potential for you to not have a C section this time. - I mean, probably like less than one percent potential. - But I thought she acted, I thought the doctor acted like it was bigger than that. - I think it's only because we have switched doctors since our first son's delivery. - Okay. - So she has like sought the hospital records from like our first child's delivery to see how long the shoulder dystocia happened. - Yeah. - His shoulder's got stuck and I think she would be more inclined to like, let me try for a be back if it was like a shorter amount of time. Because she asked us how long he was stuck and I was like, Matt, do you have any clue? Neither of us had any clue. I think we both just like blocked out. But I mean, I know that there was time for other nurses to come in the room, so I'm thinking that's a minimum of 60 seconds, which kind of feels like a long time in the grand scheme of, if you have five minutes, you know what I mean? - Yeah. - So she's sought the records. So I'm sure at our next appointment, she'll probably give me a better idea. I think it also depends too on how the baby's measuring. 'Cause it's not like we have massive babies, but like definitely bigger than, I think they're like 88% tall, 90% tall. - We've had bigger babies, but I think from what they measured this baby boy. - I don't know if that's totally accurate because the first scan was different. - Okay. - So I feel like right now, we won't know really till the growth scan. - Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think I think like from what we've seen our baby's average, like he's right there at like what's normal, what's good. So that makes us feel great that there's like no concern there. But I mean, would you, do you think you would actually go for a V-back? If your doctor gave you the option, would you go for a V-back? - If my doctor gave me the option, yes. - Why is that? - Because I don't want to have, I'm like, why are you asking that question? I feel like it's kind of obvious. Like there's minimal intervention as possible. - Yeah. - But if a C-section is deemed the safest option, I trust my doctor. - Yeah. - Like I'm not one of those people that's like, I think the doctors are lying to me. Like, and so, and I do probably feel like, I feel a lot of peace with having a scheduled C-section too. So I'm like, either way, I'm like, I'm not super worried about it. And I feel comfortable. I'm excited to meet the baby. - I just thought that was cool that she at least like entertained the possibility of a V-back for you. 'Cause I know that from what we talked about, you would love to do a V-back if it's safe, if the doctor thinks it's safe. And so her at least just presenting that potential opportunity is amazing just because like, yeah, I mean, like the recovery from a C-section sucks. Like you experienced that. It wasn't fun. It wasn't easy. And then there's also. - Well, also just changes our timeline too. Like, it also limits the amount of babies you can have. - Exactly, and that's why she brought it up. 'Cause you're like, if you guys are planning on having a lot more kids, we might need to try to do the V-back if we deem it to be safe because you really, I don't think you can do more, they'd limit you to four C-sections, right? - I mean, they don't-- - For three. - No, you can keep having them, but your risk increases each time. - And that's of uterine rupture, right? Just not good on your uterus. 'Cause you're just cutting it open over and over. - Yeah, you can cut it open so many times. - That's a lot. - So I mean, I feel like we're just, I think that's what the doctor's job is to do is to just basically assess for risk. - Yeah. - And so obviously it changes things if we intend to have a bigger family, but I would hate for the number of kids in our family to be limited just because of a C-section, if that makes sense. - That totally makes sense. - So, especially if it seems like it could be an option. - Yeah. - That's safe for me and for the baby. - Yeah. - So yeah, I'm really excited to meet this baby. I already feel like I know his whole personality and I already love him so much. - Yeah. - I always tell Matt our baby's personalities and I feel like I've been spot on. So I feel like this guy is a little comedian. I feel like he's gonna be really funny and chill. - How do you even come up with that with him just being in your room? - Trust me, I'm right. I know. - I'm excited to meet him. - I'm really in tune with him, but. - That's hilarious. - Yeah, I'm so excited to be a boy, mom of three. Like I love that. - And you look so cute. - I love your dress. - You're nice. - The outfit today is cute, the bump is bumping. I love seeing you wear fit dresses 'cause I like to see the little bump. - So flowy. - Well everybody, thank you again for listening in for another episode of Unplanned. If you haven't left us a review on Apple Podcast, please do that. It takes like literally 30 seconds to write a review. This is one that we got from Wesley 97. It says number one podcast. My wife introduced me to y'all about a year ago. She's been listening since the beginning. And y'all have become my favorite podcasters. Matt, as a fellow husband, dad, and ADHD are, thank you. I have often found my ADHD as a hindrance or an annoyance, but you've helped me to appreciate it. Thank you so much, Wes, I appreciate that too. I like having ADHD. I know it's like, it's weird. It can be, I know my ADHD can drive my wife crazy sometimes, but it's like, I feel like it just keeps life kind of exciting, you know, like I don't know. My brain is different than other peoples and I've just, I've grown to accept it. So shout out to Wes, my fellow ADHD. Thank you to everyone that's left us review. And yeah, hopefully we can get to a million subscribers this year so we can continue to bring on cool guests to interview and have conversations with. So again, you guys, we are so, so grateful for this baby boy and thank you guys for following along for all the support, for all the kind of words. We'll see you in the next episode. Three, two, one. Peace out, dudes.