Finding Out The Gender Of Our Rainbow Baby and Telling Our Families Finally

- Did you feel any gender disappointment, Matt Howard? - What's up with the answer do I give right now? - The honest one. - It's gonna be completely honest. - I was coming to terms with the fact that I didn't have like a girl-sized hole in my heart. Like I have like an emerson-sized one. Like I just like wanted her. - Yeah. - Having another baby girl wasn't going to fix that. - I've seen videos of where it's like, they're about to announce, they pop balloons or whatever, and then the mother-in-law pops it with like pink or blue. Like she steals the announcement. - Oh, that is horrible. - Right, should we say what the gender is? - Sure. - Three, two, one, it's up. (upbeat music) - What's up, dudes? - Welcome back to Unplanned. - Woo! - A show where we talk about our lives. - It's gonna pop in the heart. - What, that's not the right show. That's always here, that's the new show that we launched. We never made like a cool slogan for Unplanned, you know? - I know, well it was all unplanned. We actually did compilate planning for it. - I know, yeah. But I guess that's kind of part of the fun of it, right? It's kind of crazy that we've gotten to interview the people that we've interviewed. By the way, thank you to everyone that has commented on the Elizabeth Smart episode. That was unreal that we got to sit down with. Such an inspiring person, some of it's been through literally being kidnapped and held captive for nine months and abused. And, you know, just to hear that she's been able to press on through everything that she's been through. It was very inspiring to me. So, thank you to everyone that commented and shared their stories as well. - Yeah, we definitely know that it was a very heavy subject matter. So, it really was an honor to give her another outlet to share her story. I think the advocacy work she's doing is super, super important. And like Matt said, the response from you guys was super overwhelming too. A lot of you even felt inclined to share your story as a survivor of any type of harm that was similar to hers. Which was really, it just means a lot that our platform is a safe place for you guys. And actually, did you want to read some of the comments? - Yeah, yeah. I mean, here we have a comment right here from Laura. She said thank you so much for sharing as a fellow survivor. It's always helpful to hear how other people have dealt with forgiveness, with forgiving their perpetrators. I really like Elizabeth's comment about forgiveness about how forgiveness can almost be self-serving in a way where it's like when you forgive someone, you are like releasing all this anger and just, I don't know, it's like, I've felt like times in my life where I just didn't want to forgive someone and then you do forgive them and it makes you feel better. And so I kind of liked how she said she has her own definition of forgiveness and crazy that she was able to forgive her captors. I don't know how she was able to mentally do that, but that's just so incredible. - Here's another comment. It says that was incredibly intense in such an amazing podcast. I'm currently going through essay abuse counseling myself. Now, after 41 years of hiding it because of shame, I finally am at a place where I'm ready to move on from my past. Elizabeth is such a strong woman. You've inspired me today. It's like so incredible that it really is. And yeah, I getting to talk to her was super surreal. And so thank you guys for your response on that. If you haven't already listened to the episode, I really do think that in our conversation, she opened up about things that I had never heard about, as someone that had followed her story fairly closely. - Yeah. - So I do think that there is more value to listen, giving it a listen. - Yes. - I think you already get something out of it that you didn't get out of the documentary that you haven't heard about her story before. - And if you guys didn't know this, the more subscribers that we get on our unplanned podcast, YouTube channel, the bigger the guests are that we can bring onto the show. I mean, as you've seen, we've had some really incredible opportunities. I'm hoping we can continue to bring on big guests for you guys. And one of the goals we have this year is to hit a million followers or hit a million subscribers on unplanned. So if you have not subscribed, please, please, please take two seconds just to tap the subscribe button. And it's actually the majority of you guys that will that listen don't actually subscribe. So if you could just take two seconds, subscribe. It's really easy. It's free. It's a free way that you can support the show. And yeah, and then you'll also get recommended our stuff hopefully more frequently. So you can see the cool guests that we'll bring on in the future. - Yeah, thank you guys so much for watching and sharing. And let us always know what you want to hear from us next. Like who you want to see us talk with and conversations with. We really appreciate your feedback. - Also, let us know what we should do. Like I think we should do a giveaway for a million subscribers. So if we hit it this year in 2026, we'll definitely do a giveaway. Let us know if you think it should be like a dollar amount. Should it be a trip? - A doctor. - If you have a million dollars. - If you have any ideas, put them in the comments. I mean, another thing too, right? Like maybe it's like, I don't know. Let's just say it's like a thousand dollar giveaway. Do you guys want to be a thousand dollars to five different people? Or would you rather it be like one person wins five thousand dollars? I don't know. I don't know what the giveaway is. I'm just throwing out numbers and ideas. - The more the merrier. - But you think it should be like split up between five people? - Yeah. - 'Cause then you have a higher chance of getting it. So I don't know. Let us know in the comments what you think this giveaway prize should be. But we want to like give back to you guys. And thank you for the support you've given us for the show. So yeah. - Yeah. - PSA, my voice hasn't changed because of pregnancy. I think some people thought that. - Yeah. - I think we've just gotten all the winter sickness and the spring. - What is up with that? So Abby and I both, not last night but the night before just starting getting so sick. And I think it's our toddlers that are getting sick right now. Support Abby is like really congested sore throat. She's been coughing. I've been sneezing a lot. I've like. - I've been peeing my pants like freaking crazy. - Well that's pretty easy. - Having a cough when you're pregnant should be illegal. - I'm sorry. That's insane. - And what's weird is I only pee myself in the second trimester. You would think that the bigger you are, the more pressure you'd have on your bladder, but that's not the case for me. - Where was the most uncomfortable place you've peed your pants this pregnancy? - Anytime it's been in public for sure. - Has it happen more than once in public? - Yeah. Like a trickle. - Like will you see it like on the ground if you've peed your pants? - That one time at the coffee shop in LA. - At the coffee. Wait, that's right. - Over my dress. Bad move. Don't wear dresses. - Wait, that's right. Was that when we were touring the fox lot? - Yeah. - Yes. I forgot about that. - No, it's like funny, but it's also like so annoying. Like, today I was doing jumping jacks at the gym and I was like, oh man, here we go. I think where my legs are spread and I'm jumping, it's not like that. - Did you pee at the gym? - Probably like a little trickle. - Yeah. - But it did go like on the gym floor. - No, no, no. That would have been crazy. - Okay. - It would have been like crazy. - Where have you peed your pants before? - Why are you asking so many questions? - I don't know. I just feel like, I feel like paying your pants is something that, like, at the time of at home. - Pretty unique to like pregnancy women, like women that are pregnant and then like kids probably, you know? - Yeah. - I pee my pants more than our kids for sure. - Yeah. - Well, I guess not the one in diapers. - Do they make any products for women that are pregnant so they help with- - Yes. It's called incontinence. - And that's literally what it is. - Yeah. I mean, I'll probably have it when I'm elderly as well. - Oh, so it's really made for elderly people? - I mean, I've already had this point. I think I'm in the minority with the pee and my pants thing, but you know what? I'm just going to be here for anyone that is also in the same position as me. It's humbling. Like, literally last night when I, I start coughing more at night, when I'd change my underwear like four times, I was like, okay, get me a pad. - I felt so bad for you. - I was so frustrated. We finally laid out. I'm like, fuck. - Oh yeah, to watch our show last night. - Sneezing. - Yeah. - It can never be safe. But I have confidence that once we get to the third trimester, I'm not going to have this as much. - Speaking of ping your pants in the gym, you're back in the gym. - Back in the gym. - How does it feel to be back at the gym? - So good. - How many workouts have you done now since you got the approval to be back in the gym? - Every day since I've been approved. - So is that four, five? - Yeah. - Friday, Saturday, Sunday was a break. - No, I went in Thursday after I got approved. - Oh my gosh. You did Friday, Sunday, Monday. - You've done five workouts now. - Tuesday. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. Six. - Oh my gosh. That's a lot. We know that's, honey, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Monday, Tuesday, that's five. - I did Sunday. I went on a two and a half mile run. I'm counting that. - Oh. - Okay. - I'm counting that. - You're right. You're right. That does count. A run is a workout. - That was the hardest by far. - I thought that you usually run. - The run was so hard. - Yeah. What was it like to run two and a half mile front? - Not good. Not good. I had so much confidence. - Oh wow, I feel heavy. - Yeah. - Yeah. I don't like to run. I mean, I'm trying to get better at it. I run from time to time. Did you enjoy any part of that? - Yeah, yeah. I feel proud of myself, but I mean, no. I'm not going to do that. Maybe when our kids are in middle school and high school, I'll be a runner. - Okay. - Not my season. - Yeah. - Not my season. - I feel like I would rather, I mean, I enjoy running if I have like cool stuff to look at. - You know, like if I could do like a trail run in the mountains, I think I could enjoy that. - Okay. Well, that feels like a lot of elevation shapes. - Yeah, I don't want that. - I want you to be flat. - You want it to be flat? - Yeah, of course. - Why flat? - Are you kidding me? - But like, it makes it boring. - No, I can make it way harder. No, I actually, my friend that was running, or what do you mean, that was such a weird question. Why flat? - I mean, I don't know. It's just like, it's just like it less, it's like, you're on a track and you're just seeing the same thing, over again. - I think it is. - Over again. - Trying to place that scenic that is also flat. Olen Shannon Maldonado, käsintehtyjä artesaanitua teitä myyvän jauji-lahjakaupan perustaja. Valitsin Shopify, koska alustoja testatessani totesin sen ehdottomasti yhdeksi helpokäyttöisimmistä alustoista. Minulla oli tärkeää pohtia kehittymistämme tulevaisuudessa. Kaikki myyntiin tarvittavat työkalut, kuten varaston suunnittelu ovat kätivästi dashboardissa. Aloita ilmainen kokeilu Shopify piste komsi vustolla. Kiitokin tärkeää. Täällä, että olen suunnittelu, että kuten varaston suunnittelu ovat kokeilu Shopify piste komsi vustolla. Kuten varaston suunnittelu, kuten varaston suunnittelu, kuten varaston suunnittelu, kuten varaston suunnittelu, kuten varaston suunnittelu, kuten varaston suunnittelu, kuten varaston suunnittelu, kuten varaston suunnittelu, kuten varaston suunnittelu, kuten varaston suunnittelu, kuten varaston suunnittelu, kuten varaston suunnittelu, kuten varaston suunnittelu, kuten varaston suunnittelu. Kuten varaston suunnittelu, kuten varaston suunnittelu, kuten varaston suunnittelu. Kuten varaston suunnittelu, kuten varaston suunnittelu, kuten varaston suunnittelu, kuten проta. - Sanko. - We did what the doctor said, but yeah, we didn't have sex for literally a month, you guys, which is for us, it was hard, it was very hard. I literally, you know what's funny, guys? This is what's hilarious. I was hanging out with my guy friends. We like all got together because our wives schedule like, wife hangouts all the time and we're like, "Hey, we should have a guy hangout, we should have a dad hangout. Let's all play pickleball." And so we did, we like all hung out and we were just chit-chatting it up. And I was like cracking a joke about how like, you know, just, I don't know, just between guys just joking about it. And our whole podcast audience now. I guess you guys are hearing this now, whatever. But just about how like active Abby and I are in the bedroom. - Oh my God. - Next day, literally doctor goes, "Yeah, so you guys have to take a break from that for a month?" And I'm like, "No, I'm like, why? This is crazy." And I said, "Oh, oh, yeah." So that was, that was funny. I think my friends thought that was funny for me too. That's good, you know. I'm glad everyone else thought it was funny. - Did you think it was funny? - No, I didn't think it was funny. - Well, okay, be honest though, what was worse? Of like, of- - Don't put me in this place. - Oh, actually I think you're gonna say working out. - At the beginning I was working out and then at the end it was, my dream was exciting. - 'Cause where you looked at, can we say this? You looked it up because like, you know how, and I experienced this when Abby and I were dating. - Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't go there. That has to stop, I know exactly where you're going and it has to stop too far. Okay, let's just- - What's the appropriate way of explaining what it is? - There's none. - There's none. - You can't, okay, okay. - There's none. - There's none. - Never mind, we're good. We're good, we're good. - None, we're good. - Just think about. - You just beat your pants right there. I am so sorry. Do you need to go to the bathroom? - No, I'm staying right here. - You good? - The next guest that comes and sits on this couch, we like- - It's not gonna be like, this is where Abby- - No, it didn't go all the way through, guys, just trickle. Anyway, they're gonna pause, Matt's thought there. Let your mind fill in whatever gaps you wanted to do. We're all public, it's fine, everything's good. Actually, the placenta must have moved a lot, which actually surprised me because I was like- - Okay. - How is this actually even gonna help? The ultrasound and tech, or so at our follow-up appointment, the ultrasound and tech put the sonogram on and she could tell right away that it had moved. And they were kind enough, they saved us like the large doctor fee. - Yeah. - They just like kept us in that room and didn't have to go in the doctor room. And they're like, I must have moved like considerably. - Part of me wonders, part of me wonders if one of them, like somehow came across a clip of us talking about how expensive medical care is in the United States. - No, I don't think they care, they're like no big deal. - Yeah, but- - I thought, I was, yeah, anyway. We're cleared, everything's fine. And the baby's looking good, so that's really the matter of the very most. So thankful that baby's happy, healthy. At the time of recording this, Abby is 23 weeks pregnant. Next week, by the time you guys are watching this, it'll be, it'll be at 24 weeks, which is the week of viability, which is so incredible. 'Cause I guess like if women ever go into like preterm labor or anything like that, the baby's good, right? - Yeah, or they have to take the baby out for some reasons. - Yeah, which is just crazy that like a 24 week old baby can live outside the womb. - Yeah, wild. - They need a lot of help, but. - Yeah, I mean, it's not, it's not ideal for the baby, but it's wild that our technology's like advanced that much. Have you ever seen a baby that's 24 weeks outside of the womb? Like, yeah. 'Cause when we got the skin last time, they were telling us our baby's over a pound. - Yeah. - Yeah. - No, my friend had a baby at 28 weeks. - That's early, that's really early. And then I guess you're just in and out of the neck, you for what, three months? - I think we had a few months, yeah. - Remember when we had Haley Hess and Mitch Hess on our podcast? They said that they're Nick you bill with $7 million. I'm having triplets. Crazy, right? - It's insane. - How do you feel about traveling to Hawaii next month? We're going back to Hawaii. How are you feeling about that with? - I'm excited. I feel like that would be really good for our family. - Yeah. - Like to have just like some time away to kind of just enjoy and slow down a little bit. - Our boys are obsessed with waves. Like I've been going in the wave pool with Griffin at the Revel Surf Park, which is in Arizona. It's like a surf, like a local surf place. It's the only place you can surf in Arizona. It's Revel Surf Park. And Griffin loves going in the waves with me and just like letting the waves hit us and just like jumping into them and playing in them. He's been obsessed. I'm excited to go in the actual ocean with him. - Yes, it'll be so fun. We're kind of doing a couple different things in one stay, staying out of resort and then staying out of house. And I think we'll kind of get like a good experience out of it. - Are we dumb for not just like either staying at only resort or only staying at the house? - I mean, we only stay at the resort. It'd be very expensive. - True. But then when you have to pack up your stuff and move it, - I think one time is fine. - You can travel with kids that does suck. But yeah, one time isn't a big deal. We actually did that the last time we went to Hawaii as well. We stayed at Airbnb. - So we'll think about next week, when we had Disney, we're gonna pack up every single day. - But I thought for Disneyland, I thought the resorts pack up your stuff. Or I thought they like move your luggage for you between the house. - We're hoping. - Yeah, you're right. Dang, are we dumb for doing that? - Yeah. - That's so dumb. Should we talk about why we're doing that? - Yeah. - Okay, so I had this idea guys to stay at every Disney land resort that there is. There's only three of them. There's not a ton. I've seen like a lot of YouTubers do videos about staying at every single Disney world resort. - Which is crazy because how many Disney world ones are there? - Maybe if people enjoy this video and we're able to like regroup. - That'd be so fun. - Somehow recoup our investment pool. We'll make another one. But yeah guys, like there's, I've seen a lot of YouTubers make that video. And so I'm like, let's do Disney land. Let's do the three Disney land hotels. Yeah. - They do. - They do? - Nice. - They move it for you? - There's some Disney land. - Yes, so we just pack it up and put it in our two cases and then they'll just move it between the resorts. - So you're the first to feel so good? - Yeah, makes sense. - Okay. - That's awesome actually. That's so nice. And then it'll just be in our room for us when we get back from the parks. - Did you say it'll arrive at your new hotel which will be here that day? - You probably have to get it from the bell service at the other. so this is this is one of those YouTube videos that I'm so excited to film you guys because it's just I think it'll be fun like staying at yeah every single Disneyland hotel and while we through the different hotels there are Abbey. So first of all okay the the different hotels there's Pixar place which is like their newest one and there's the classic Disneyland hotel and then there's the Grand Californian which the Grand Californian is the nicest one by far. It's like within the park itself. It's basically in the park yeah. It is in the park. That's crazy. So we're doing this trip for many reasons. First of all we love Disney. Second of all our kids have birthdays close to the babies due date and so we're gonna kind of need to be a little proactive about celebrating them in advance and they always want to go to Disney. They talk about it like every single night when they're sad we're like just think about Disney yeah and then make them happy. I love how casually they ask us about going to Disney. Yeah they're like can we just go to Goofy's kitchen right now I'm like we're out of state but no big deal. Yeah then that's what we have. That's when we had to explain to them how like money works and how we have to work to make money and we can't just like go to Disneyland all the time. We have magic key passes which is basically like their like their annual membership to Disneyland but we have like a tear that's like lower yeah like one of the lowest actually so we have a ton of blackout dates including which we did not know this all of summer. The entire summer. So who woulda thunk it. So we can't go like all of summer and so we're like okay well we obviously can't go in August because we're having a baby then and we're probably not gonna want to go in September because we're gonna have a baby then so if we want to use our like magic key pass we need to go now and so we just like last minute book this trip and then we'd always kind of been sitting on this YouTube video idea of trying out all the resorts and we kind of combined everything to this trip we're celebrating both the boys they'll still have birthday parties but like this will be like their birthday Disney trip and we're also filming this video of trying out all the resorts which I think the kids will be think it's so fun because we don't usually stay on Disney property usually stay off property just because you save a lot of money. They could catch up for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. What if the card that you spend your money on had discounts and rewards for the places that you spend the most on for me that would be travel. I love travel. We do spend a good amount on travel because we like experiences over things flights and hotels and yeah it really does add up and cash app just released a new status program for the way that people actually spend called cash app green it unlocks new ways for you to pay get rewarded and easily grow or manage your money on your terms. Now when you spend at least $500 a month with the cash app card or cash app pay you earn green status which unlocks benefits like up to $200 off free overdraft coverage higher borrow limits and custom personalized cashback offers every Friday at places you love to shop. Turn everyday spending into status with cash app green download cash app today or visit cash.app/new to learn more about this and other great features launching now. For a limited time new cash app customers can earn $10 if they use code cash app 10 in their profile at signup and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply cash app is a financial services platform not a bank. Baking services provided by cash apps bank partners prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton bank member FDIC cash app green overdraft coverage borrow cashback offers and promotions provided by cash app a block ink brand visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures but here's a deal babe when we stay at the hotel we usually stay out for Disneyland we get like a two bedroom we get like a two bedrooms the voice have their own room we have our own room what do we do so we're all going to be in one room. Yeah we're all sharing room. Yeah which is so funny because Oggy wakes up about two hours earlier than Griffin. We'll just have to go to bed when our kids- And there's no way they're going to be able to nap because we're gonna not have a room available because if we're switching every single day our check-in won't be till after their nap time every day. We'll have to check out at the other place before then so we're just gonna have a sleepy trip we're gonna have to go hard. We're gonna have to we'll probably have to like go back to go to bed. Go hard and go home. Yeah we should probably like skip nap time but then put them to bed around around like 7 30 because they're gonna be absolutely tired. Okay maybe leave the park at 7 30. It's also so lame. We'll never get to see the world of color. How late do you want to stay? How late do you have to stay for world of color? Is that like an 8 o'clock show? I don't know. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out yeah. But it should be really fun. I feel like it hasn't really sunk in for us that that's like literally happening. Yeah. We'll be in Disney at this time next week. Wait that's crazy. By the time you guys are watching this video we'll be in Disney. Oh my gosh. I know. That is so cool. I'm excited for that. It is so fun. I can't believe that we'll be celebrating a four-year-old and a three-year-old that trip. Gosh. That makes me feel old that we have kids that old. That's crazy. How do you feel about the fact that we are going to be empty nesters before we're 50 probably unless we have a surprise gift? Assuming that we stop at having four kids because I feel like that's like that's the number right now that we have in mind I would say. That means that our last people would be born when we're both 30 and then the baby the kid would be out of the house when we're 48 right? Yeah. 30 plus 18 is 48 so gosh yeah what we won't even be 50 yet and we'll have no kids in the house. I think my vote would be just to move back to Hawaii honestly. I think I would just go surf every single day. I think that's what I would do. What do you think you would do with all your time with that not having kids? Would you just like cook? Would you just like open up a soup kitchen and cook for people? Like I feel like your level language is like baking and cooking like maybe you could just like open up your own little like abby soup kitchen and you can just like feed people in need. Yeah. I could help you too when I'm not surfing you know. I don't know. I don't know. I know how to run a business though maybe I could like help run the volunteers or something. I don't know. Yeah. That would actually be really fun like one day to have a nonprofit of some sort like something that we're really passionate about. I could easily see us doing that. And here's where I go back and forth on like the nonprofit thing because like it'd be fun to start our own. But then there's also so many nonprofits that already exist that we can partner with or donate to because they're art. They've already figured out the logistics of like helping people and they just need money to help pay the expenses. So I don't know. But I do see the joy in having your own where it's like it's like your baby and you're so excited to like help people. Yeah for sure. Yeah. I mean what do you honestly see us doing when we're 50 years old and we have no kids in the house. I'm sure I'll just follow my kids around wherever they decide to set roots. Do you think do you think we wouldn't like start going into mom mother-in-law mode. Yeah. Just help with the babies. Hopefully grandma mode pretty quickly too. Yeah. Do you think what's so exciting? I've already come up with you. I'm Lolly your pop. Oh my god. Lolly and pop. Yeah. So 23 years from now Griffin will be 26. We already had a baby when we were 26. We're about 27 right now. So yeah I mean maybe maybe when Griffin is 26 maybe he's already going to have a kid. Who knows? We never know. Maybe he won't even want to have kids. No he was to talk about it. Really? That's right. Yeah he does. He is only three so we're not going to hold him to that but yeah. I would love that. I feel like I'll just be hanging out with my friends like planting parties, volunteering. I might take up some hobbies. I feel like when I'm older I might go for something. You would golf? Probably pickleball. I could see it's being pickleball partners. Whatever is on trend at that point. I could see it's also playing tennis. I'm going to have a big club. I might start a library. People are sleeping on tennis now. Now that everyone plays pickleball if you look at like pickleball courts the pickleball side is always packed and the tennis courts are just wide open. Okay let's do tennis. So I thought about getting into tennis because I think it takes more physical skill right? You've got to run a lot for tennis. Okay. I think that's like a good workout. I might actually be a fitness group fitness instructor. I could see you doing that. That would be fun for me or maybe I'll just start working at a coffee stand so I can just chat it up and make coffee. There's a lot of things I could do at the time. I think finding stuff to do in our spare time is not going to be a problem. Yeah I'll just be throwing gatherings. Yeah. I think the bigger question I want to ask is like what are we going to do as a family for the next 20 years like with all these these kids because I I've got all these big ideas for travel like I think I think we could probably try out like doing some RV trips like renting a big old honk and RV and like going to national parks. Are we those people though and you really think about it? I think we are. I think I need a good shower. Well I think the RV has a good shower babe. I think we could shower in the RV. We could literally poop in our RV. See that? I don't know. I mean I give it a shot. Because I think like logistically that you don't you don't have to like get all your stuff out of the vehicle and then like your your home is on wheels so you can take it like from national park to national park and there's different like campsites that you have hookups stuff up your water too. traveling like that, I feel like you spend your whole time trying to survive, that you can't really just have fun. - Okay, I also do see the-- - If you have to go empty out your toilet, then it's like, think about what you could've done with your time. - I will say, if you run the numbers, I can actually be cheaper just to stay at a budget hotel than it is to rent or buy an RV, 'cause RVs are really expensive. So I can see that, but I want to be an outdoors family. - Yeah, me too. - I don't want to be the family that's on screens all the time. - Well, we're not. - Yeah, I know, but I think it's easy to slip into that trap. And so I want to be the family that just goes on hikes and adventures and we can even be the family. Maybe one day we get a boat. Like I know boats are a ton of work, but maybe one day when we have a bunch of preteens and teenagers and stuff, maybe it would make sense for us to have a boat. - We seem to make friends with someone with a boat. - That's true, that is easier. You don't have to take care of the boat. - Yes, seriously. - We don't know the first thing about taking care of a boat. I've heard that-- - What is it as a ballast? - Well, you know, my uncle used to have a boat and then they sold it after a while 'cause I think they had a lot of problems and then there's a lot of maintenance and then they had to keep moving it whenever they moved. And yeah, so I don't know. I have heard though that-- - I didn't go on a boat until I was in college. - That's right, that's right. And we went tubing together in college. - Yeah, and I loved it. - But-- - We need to take you tubing again. - My family wasn't a lake family. - Yeah, why wasn't your family a lake family? - I think they're afraid of it. - Why are they so afraid of the lake? - 'Cause they only go to Disney. - Yeah, your family, that is weird. Your parents are Disney adults. They're like, your mom is the definition of a Disney adult. - She is. - She's got all the popcorn buckets. - I love that. - She has for many years. - I hope to have that same confidence one day. - She just buys things that are Disney just because it's Disney. - Yeah, why do you think I'm the way that I am? - Because, yeah, because of your mom. - Right. - You're just like your mother. - Really? - I think I have more like my dad sometimes. - I would say you're an even mix. I think I'm an even mix of my parents too. - Yeah, I think so too. - I'm weird, you know, so. - You didn't have to make it negative, you did. - I was like teasing you. I was trying to like make you laugh there when I said you were just like your mother. - I know. - I know, it wasn't like the funniest joke. - You always say I'm just like my grandma. - Dad is actually true. Yes, that's true. - I think you're the only person that says that. - It's funny. - How do you think I'm like my grandma? - I don't really. - She's in the grandma now. - No, I think so. I think it's like, well, Abbi's grandma has like so many friends. Like she's like the, she's like the social girly in her community, I feel like that's you. Thank you to Zach Dock for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Raise your hand if you've been putting off a doctor's visit or a dental cleaning or an annual checkup. I feel like that's a lot of us. - I actually need to go today. - Yeah, actually, I just rescheduled my dental cleaning 'cause I have a busy schedule, which is exactly why, like Zach Dock was created because guys, we're busy. It's hard to like fit appointments in. And that's why I like doing my doctor's appointments through Zach Dock. If you haven't heard of Zach Dock, it's a free app and website that helps you find and book high quality in network doctors so you can find someone you love. We're talking about looking in network appointments with more than 150,000 providers across all 50 states. - Whether you're looking for dermatology, dentistry, primary care, eye care, or any one of the other 200 plus specialties offered on Zach Dock, you can easily search by specialty or symptom to build a care team that's right for you. - After I had a concussion, I was able to schedule a same day appointment with Zach Dock to figure out what was going on. And when I was like curious if I had ADHD, I did that all through Zach Dock and that's actually how I was able to get my diagnosis as well as prescribed my medicine for ADHD. - We use Zach Dock and you should too. Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to Zach Dock.com/unplanned to find and instantly book a doctor you love today. That's zocdoc.com/unplanned. Zach Dock.com/unplanned. - Thanks Zach Dock for sponsoring this message. - Do you think I'm outgoing? - Like you're like, yeah you're outgoing. Like you're the matchmaker of friends. Like you, you put so many different people together. - Thanks. That's just a fact. - I was wondering if I'm outgoing in my, I was just wondering if I was outgoing and I'm like, I don't actually think I am. I think I'm, this is the thing about my personality that freaks people out. If I don't want to talk, I don't talk. And then it freaks people out when I don't talk and then people reach out and think there's something wrong with me, freaks your parents out. - Yeah, I always feel like I need to talk. - Yeah, I don't feel the need to fill silence if it's quiet. - I've been trained by John and Teresa to fill the silence. And the only time that I'm not gonna fill the silence is if I've like known you for a super long time. But if you're someone that like I don't know well, like we can't have silence. - Yeah, I'm pretty comfortable with it. Like I doesn't even cross my mind to fill it. But then people, I know that I'm the weird one because people like text me after they see me and they're like, "Hey, was everything okay?" You're like, "You were more quiet than usual." - That's really funny. That actually happens to you? - Yeah, it happens to me this week. - I've never once had someone text me that. - It happens to me this week. And if I don't want to talk, I just don't. - But when I'm in an Uber, you know what I always do. - And it doesn't mean that something's wrong. I just don't feel like it. - I always talk to the Uber driver when I'm in an Uber. - You stop doing that more though. - I, okay, true, a little bit more. But even like recently when I was stuck in stranded in LA, talked to every single Uber driver. - You know, that's how I actually thought that you had your spark back 'cause you started talking to people on planes and Uber's again. - Oh, thanks. - Yeah. - Do you think I have my spark back? - I think you're getting it back. - Oh, thanks. I don't know. Okay. - You're getting it back. - I'll get it back. All right. Thank you, babe. (laughing) - I'm out, that was a compliment. - Is it hard for you to talk right now because there's like all this congestion. - I think that it does hurt. - And like see, I don't even, my throat doesn't even hurt. It's just all up here. I can just feel all this congestion, all this like headache going on. - See, you're kind of ruining my thing with being sick. Like I gotta just pretend I'm not and just keep going forward. - Oh yeah. - Keep treating it like everything's fine and then just get over it. But then last night I hit a real tap out moment. - Yes, well you did tap out. - I just tapped out. - Which is okay. - I said do it my flag. I'm done. (laughing) - Which I, like you usually do the mornings with the boys and I usually do bedtime with the boys. But I like, I think I, - I was like, I actually, you're not gonna see me. - Yeah. - I'm gone, yeah. - But hey, you know what, it's fine. - Totally. - Should we talk about the gender reveal? - I think we should talk about the gender reveal. Should we say what the gender is? - Sure. - Three, two, one. It's a boy. - If you guys did not already know that we're having a boy, we're having a boy. I think we've been putting out some different videos. I think there's like a gender reveal, YouTube video out. If you guys want to go watch that, that was like so much fun. Finding out the gender ourselves, that whole journey, was like really exciting. We also threw a gender reveal party for all of our friends, which can we just be honest, babe? It was just an excuse to throw a party. - Of course. - It was a really good party too. You did an incredible job throwing the party. - It was so fun, Z's. I had a great time. And yeah, like let's go back to the beginning, 'cause we found out the gender at 10 weeks. - Yes. - We did the early, like I think it's called the NIPT test. - Yeah, earliest we've ever found out. - NITP? No PT. - NIPT test, we did the whole screening, just being high risk, we were recommended. And so it was the first time we've done that. And so obviously we were gonna find out the gender and we were like, if anyone knows, it's gonna be us. - 100%. - And so the day that we got the results, we sent it to my mom who was beside herself, like being given this duty. We were at the gym, and there was a glitch with the site that was like, show like the lab that they sent it to that would have the results. There was a glitch, and she was going crazy, 'cause she was like this close to knowing the gender. - And it wouldn't show it? - And it wouldn't show it, it wouldn't show any of the results. And I think at this point, like I was obviously very excited to know the gender, but just so like, wrapped up in fear about anything being wrong. 'Cause I also knew that this test was gonna reveal everything, like basically assessing the risks for the baby having any of these like genetic problems. And I don't think they say that your baby has it, but they assess like high, moderate, low risk. - Yeah. - And so I'm more so worried about that at this point. Very eager to know the gender of course, but just so wrapped up in fear. And so then my mom, I was like, mom refreshed the site, 'cause now I think it's working and she's like, she texted me off, which is like, it's working, okay. And then like that day, she's like, oh, I didn't know you were gonna find out today. I was like, you don't get to just sit on these results by yourself for several days. - Yeah. - So we went to Hobby Lobby 'cause we couldn't find natural flowers that were blue. - We went on an entire journey to go find blue and pink flowers, because the whole idea was for our boys to bring us out the color of flowers that the gender of the baby was. And so-- - We could find lots of pink flowers. - Yeah, and we couldn't find blue ones. We ended up going to Hobby Lobby and we found-- - It's just how fake ones. - We found fake blue and pink flowers. - Beautiful, fake flowers. - So cute. And then the boys, you know, brought us the flowers that the gender of the baby was. - Yeah. And so-- - Yeah, I love this, which is a boy. - I feel like this brings up the topic of gender disappointment because this is like a hot topic among the new mom community, the pregnancy community. Because there you got one side that's like, you should just be grateful and like don't, you're not allowed to feel like that's so crazy. Like just don't bother, don't worry about it. And then you have the other side that's like, no, like your feelings are valid. You're allowed to like feel disappointment in some way. Did you feel any gender disappointment, Matt Howard? - Oh gosh, I'm like, what's the answer do I give right now? 'Cause-- - The honest one. - I've like the honest answer. I mean, I guess, I guess to be completely-- - I don't care, just be honest. - I guess to be completely a hundred percent honest. Yeah, I mean, like we lost our daughter because of the miscarriage. And so I really, I really did want a daughter. So I think at first I was just like dang it. Like I really wanted that, more than anything, I wanted that for you 'cause I want you to have like a mini version of you that you can just like go get your nails done and and and I just like see the sweet bond that you and your mom have and even if if our kid 20 years now is watching this video back it's like the the the fact of the matter is like I'm so excited to have three boys I think that the switch my brain quickly turned on of like oh my gosh like I am one of three boys this is this is like something that I get to experience just like my dad did and I had this conversation with my dad when I took him to Universal Studios on like a boys trip with me and my brothers like two months ago and we just talked about how fun it how fun it is to have you know your boys and and how like maybe I go golfing with our boys and we can like two of us are one on one golf cart the other two on another golf cart like there's so many fun things that we can do as just guys being dudes I'm excited yeah I would say for me I did feel gender disappointment for about 30 seconds okay maybe less yeah I think that I've always said like I just feel like we're gonna have boys and then sure enough we had one boy we had our second boy and then like I was like I love the boy life and then losing our daughter definitely opened up like a desire for something that like much greater than I'd ever had before like of course I'd always love to have a daughter but it was just like I never really like felt an obvious preference yeah did you feel guilty at all for one it for like feeling disappointed no no no you didn't feel guilty just some learning to feel my feelings yeah just let them be so I had always pictured having all boys and then we lost a baby girl and that kind of opened up a preference in my like in my heart for a daughter that I'd never had before and so then getting pregnant again I was kind of like nervously like hoping like oh man I hope we have a daughter I hope we have a daughter yeah and then this is gonna make me cry but I think the reason I experienced that disappointment for like 30 seconds was because I was coming to terms with the fact that I didn't have like a girl sized hole in my heart like I have like a Emerson sized one like I just like wanted her yeah and so like having another baby girl wasn't going to fix that and so I honestly think that this was like sweet grace in a way that like it's very obvious now that this baby is not ever gonna fill that gap yeah this is a totally different baby totally different pregnancy which is also been like a sweet reminder to that this is not the same thing we're not reliving the same thing over and over again and so then I quickly like I feel like you can even see the video like the span of like 10-15 seconds I just like it felt so excited about like this little boy like just so excited and I just feel like it makes a lot of sense with our boy life can I have a tissue please like I could totally see this boy joining our squad and like it being like just a whole lot of rowdy fun in our house and like it has been but um honestly like that moment it feels so foreign to me because we have known that we're having a boy for so long now that it's like I even kind of forgot that I felt that way but I do want to acknowledge it for any moment just like does feel the same way I know some people feel gender disappointment way stronger than that I'm almost hesitant to even call it that because it's like we're so excited we're so excited we're so thrilled and we honestly relatively it doesn't matter at all to us like the gender of this baby we just wanted to have a baby regardless of if it was gonna be a son or daughter it's like it's almost hard for me to even remember being like oh I'm kind of like disappointed by this but I also want to be honest myself for myself and for people that also have like experience that mine didn't run super deep but because I think I just like I just really I'd love to add another member to our family regardless but now it just is like boy squad over here yeah boy squad literally same exact family dynamic as what I grew up with being the middle child of three brothers so so funny which guys I said Abby a video earlier this week by the way thank you for sharing that I was very vulnerable view and also I think it's cool I think it's cool that we're acknowledging that like the slight gender disappointment that we felt because I think it's normal to feel that I don't I think I think where it ends though is like in the second we found out yeah yeah and I think and I think like if you're someone that is having severe gender disappointment where it like doesn't end you know within say 24 hours maybe maybe this one you need to go to therapy about and like talk through why you wanted that specific gender so bad because you don't want I think it's important that like you love your kids so much you never want something like that to come between like your ability to love your kid you know well also I feel like a strong gender disappointment maybe I'm wrong but my opinion really strong gender disappointment is honestly like you putting on all your hopes and dreams for your kid and like morning all that at once like say like for if you're like okay a girl is gonna be like my little dancer like Bowery is gonna do everything I did she's gonna dress like me she's gonna do her hair like me she's gonna be like maybe this girl is not gonna want to do any of those things that you want it's like you're building this like a whole dream on a stereotype exactly well that's like what I said you can be a baseball player that wants nothing to do with day you know what I mean and I sent you a little video I saw of Chris Hemsworth with all his boys serving and I'm like that sounds like a blog and I'm like and I'm like this is my dream but like I'm not gonna force that on our kids of our kids don't want to surf with me I'm not gonna force him to surf with me maybe maybe it's like we make our kids try things it's like I'm just like we make our kids try foods I'll be like okay you're gonna try surfing if you hate surfing you don't have to you don't have to keep surfing we're not gonna make you yeah but like I think I think like it's really important to acknowledge that and yeah I am really excited because I can just like visually see like me taking our boys like all of us together as a group just going and surfing or going and golfing go I don't even like golf but I would love to golf with my boys like you know snowboarding trips hitting the skate park together doing literally anything anything together I'm just excited for it oh I'm stoked I'm like we already know all the boy things yeah we got it we got unlock my and my really good friend had just had her third boy too so we always talk about like anytime we go anywhere yeah we're gonna be totally around six boys in total it's a lot of boys so we can't go anywhere except each other's houses are apart like where are you gonna go we're gonna take them to a restaurant six little boys to a no we need we'll have to go to a restaurant that has a play a little play set you know they can only be outside that makes boys together I've actually thought about this like we I've thought about starting up some sort of business or coffee shop or restaurant that has like a built-in play set for kids like the Joe's Crab Shacks yeah yeah there's a Joe's Crab Shack in Southern California that has a play set and we love take your kids to that specific Joe's Crab Shack because they can just play I know we can actually eat our food in peace they can't sit still yeah but yeah no we're totally thrilled we've got all the clothes they are pretty wrecked at this point though because our boys go hard but I know we're gonna save we're gonna save some money so you don't have to like buy yeah I can't say that but here's what they forget is that moms a lot of times want their kids to match and then you just end up buying all new things each kid you have it's just 3x starts off as 2x I don't have to match all the time I just have a 3x just maybe matching on weekends you know we're going out to it going out to a dinner we're getting family photos we can get all matching outfits matching swimsuits it's just so easy to add like if you see a really cute outfit you're like okay I'm right I guess we got to get it never size now how how do you feel about like embracing being a boy mom I know do I seem like a boy mom you're a boy mom I guess I do seem like a boy mom like I feel like it's so I like love it how funny is it that like I'm a dude that did tap dancing in ballet class and I'm I'm a boy dad how funny is that exactly there's not like they can there's no blueprint for what we expect of our kids like for their life like yeah they can do they can do their thing yeah they're so excited too the boys are so excited I think the way that we did it they hadn't no idea really what brain blue flowers meant but now that the baby has a name we talk about him all the time and they like make plans for him all the time what they do oh my gosh all the time they're like oh I'm gonna say the name by accident but yeah they've been well they spoiled the the gender to like our entire family before the video because they kept referring to the baby's name and it's a male name so people were like oh wait say that again say that again well I think you spoiled it a couple times too yeah I accidentally said something about being like a boy dad and something about like I think I think I might have said something about trying for a girl which I know I'm not supposed to say that I just think it sends the wrong message I feel like when you say you're trying for a girl it makes it sound like you're having another kid only in the hopes that you can have a daughter when that's not the case at all when we if and when we go to add another member to our family yeah well can it can it be both though like can we be trying for a girl no it doesn't work that way because if you're trying for a girl and then have a boy then you failed was that oh like in that's like bad like we're supposed to be like whoa we're sad like what I'm just confused I'm not having a baby should never be classified as a fail I'm confused at this point okay I see what you're saying Yeah, there's no yeah, I did not view this in any way as a fail I'm just saying it doesn't sound right to say it. Yeah, never say it ever again This is gonna get it's also not how we view it this is gonna get clipped and then someone's gonna be like wow Matt hates Boys or something. I don't know. Anyway, Instagram. You love boys. I do actually I do really I actually really like having boys I love it, but I really want a girl now. Oh my gosh, but if it doesn't happen. Okay. I take that back I will be content if we have four boys you have foot and mouse and drum. Let's just put that out there. I do I do Thank you so much to better health for sponsoring this portion of today's episode I know a lot of people are feeling the burden of the inflation in our economy right now Financial stress is a really real thing and I know people personally that are experiencing it We've had different seasons of our life where we've experienced it and actually statistically 88% of Americans feel some sort of Financial stress at the start of 2026 and struggling with money doesn't mean that you failed sometimes. It's all about just Accessing the right kind of support and that's exactly where therapy comes in I actually started going to solo therapy was I a year ago now? Yeah, wow I feel like I'm more emotionally intelligent. I feel like I'm a better version of myself to my wife my kids and with over 30,000 therapists better help is one of the world's largest online therapy platforms having served over six million people globally Better health does the initial matching work so you can focus on your therapy goals Let's send you a short questionnaire to help identify your needs and preferences and they're 12 plus years of experience and industry Leading match fulfillment rate means they typically get it right the first time But if you aren't happy with your match, you can switch to a different therapist at any time I always think that as a mom It's a personal duty of mine to show up as the best version of myself for my kids and for my husband and for my family and for my friends And so I think therapy has really helped me access that more when life feels overwhelming therapy can help sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/unplanpodcast that's better H-E-L-P dot com slash unplanned podcast. I also say things as they jump into my brain and then I like process them After they've already been said. That's why I've recently started trying with you and it never works Do you want to try that again? I like that. No, you don't you don't like it when I see it. Okay. Okay, okay Next next up we we did a poll on Instagram to see what you guys thought the baby the baby's gender was and 72% of people said they thought it was a girl. I know. I know. They're so sweet I think like everyone wanted us to have a girl because of what happened But it's which is so sweet like they everybody meant everybody meant well and I love that this baby is it's just such a This baby's gonna be so loved oh This baby's already so loved and it's just so like I said before. It's just a really sweet reminder that this is like a new a whole new thing Yeah, going through because a lot of times like especially early on I was like oh my gosh I have for reliving this and I can't like a lot of fear around reliving that We also consulted all of you guys on Instagram. Thank you to everyone that's following unplanned on Instagram the unplanned podcast on Instagram We we did a little poll about gender reveal hot takes and The first hot take was mother-in-law's need to make sure they're not stealing the spotlight at the gender reveal I want to agree with that. I've seen some is that a huge phenomenon, so I didn't know that was a thing But I've seen some like TikToks where like mother-in-laws do oh, I fear you're gonna to hold me back What do you mean like do you think at our kids now we have three boys? I am the mother-in-law X-3 so and I'm one that I'm an eager beaver. Oh, yeah, but I think well Do you know what's happened like I've seen videos of where it's like they're about to announce and then the the It like goes off and the balloons or like they pop balloons or whatever they have like poppers and it's white and then the mother La Pops it and does the popper with like pink or blue. She's the one they announced It's like she steals the announcement from from the couple. Have you heard of that? No, that's like what's happened? Like she's close to the poppers. Yes to where the mother-in-law is the one that announced and yes. Oh, that is horrible Right, but like I think I wouldn't I it is almost it just hands down I would literally never even think of doing that. I've only saw like two videos like that though I've only seen intimate gender reveals recently. Have you seen? There's been a reassurgency of intimate gender Yeah, I think every I think every let's be honest baby I think like every influencer got scared of doing a gender reveal that like goes viral for the wrong reasons We did it. We did a big gender reveal. But ours was never like we didn't go crazy Like there's people that have done like drone gender reveals where they have like drones Showing like the the color in the sky. There's our our sweet friend Nicole the nomad Partnered with a firework company, which she didn't know they like surprise her No, I know how big I was gonna be you guys have probably seen this video It wouldn't viral like two years ago, but our sweet friend Nicole the firework company that she collabed with surprised her and rather than doing like a little Pew like yay one firework It's a girl level. They did like the most the most world of color We'll have to put the video up. It's actually really funny Consult her first. We'll have to see if it's okay. I don't know like we would have been respectful of her She's so sweet. I felt bad that people were not being the nicest in her comments But like you know gender reveals some gender views have got a little crazy, you know They've got a little little kuku crazy And so we just did like some simple As we said the whole no, I as we said the whole reason that we threw a gender reveal party was literally just a celebration of Life a celebration of pregnancy. Yeah, because like it's just another thing to just be grateful for because we were literally planning the gender reveal for Emerson Yeah, when we found out like the horrible news and so like the fact that we got to that milestone like if I'm totally honest Everything and we did not want to throw a gender reveal party for so long. I in fact Oh, you didn't plan it until like the week before because it just felt like it was not gonna happen. Oh, yeah Like it just felt like the rug was just about to be slipped out from under me again And that's why I was saying like it was so nice to also be reminded because we didn't know the gender at this point Like hey, it's not the same thing. It's not the same thing. Like this is totally different. It's totally different But even still like my friends were so sweet. They're like let me help like and I just couldn't even let anyone else do it because it just felt like This pipe dream that we would have this gender reveal like it just felt like it was never gonna come And so yes, it is silly to have a party about the sex of your baby, but in like the deeper level is that it's like Oh, we're just celebrating that we got to this milestone of like this age of pregnancy that we never thought would get to and Like we get to just celebrate that Babies growing we're here. We know more about this baby and like it just felt like More than ever. It was important to celebrate like Everything that was happening with its pregnancy. Yeah, I just honestly viewed them as more of an excuse to throw a party And I find it interesting here because one of the comments that we saw on Instagram was someone saying that they're not even like a thing in Europe Like in Europe nobody like throws gender reveals apparently. They're too classy Which I get it like yeah Europeans are classy people, but guys it is fun throughout parties are fun Gotta just even if it's just like a pink cake, you know Just a little something a little something something, you know, you get and then you get all your friends and family together I I also just love having parties at our house. Here. I'll get you Actually, can we explain like a little bit of like what we did at the party? Yeah, so the theme was a baby is brewing. I got it off Pinterest. Don't think I'm trying to steal somebody's idea It wasn't original But then we had our favorite local coffee shop light heart coffee come into coffee stand and they did pink and blue cold foam on top of Coffee beverages. Yeah and matcha and chocolate milk and lemonade so we got all our bases covered and so it's real everyone had fun like picking out their Color of cold foam and their sprinkles on top. It was really sweet. We had a beautiful balloon Display with little coffee beans on it said baby is brewing We're a girl and we have a lot of LDS friends or what you might know as Mormon and so our LDS friends don't drink coffee They don't we did we're not a chocolate milk and so we had chocolate milk for them Which is I thought was so thoughtful of you to have had like the the coffee the drink is dry the coffee cart had chocolate That was awesome and we had some pastries from a local Bakery called chunk that they're the sweetest ever they have been just consistently the best ever to our family And their pastries were so good if you are local you have got to try them out And we also had some chicken minutes from Chick-fil-A and then we all just like hung out We didn't do any like games or anything Yeah, everyone just hung out. It was a beautiful day. I had oh I hired a turf cleaning company to clean our turf before the dinner Reveal because our turf smells like poop and pee now that we have a dog it's disgusting and so they did a good job cleaning the turf It didn't smell bad I did I set up all the tables and chairs and you know I've logged the whole thing you guys should watch the vlog. It was a fun Yes, we made lots of videos of the day. It was so fun. I think it'd be fun Like I love throwing parties so much we should start just like making like party prep content We just like vlog us setting up the party Everyone can watch like I think it's fun to watch videos too of parties being set up like to see the change from like nothing to something being done to school And then and then it's just like funding with our friends Seriously, it was a really fun great day. Yeah, great more of the horror stories. Yeah If you're not going to be happy for both genders don't have a reveal or a child That's what the hot take is from this person yeah, I mean like I could see that I think I think like some people I could see where someone would have like I don't do it publicly if you're really gonna be Yeah, yeah, if you are I agree with that if you are gonna be like affected by not getting your boy or getting your girl Maybe do a personal reveal before the actual party like you don't want to like you don't want to that That's just gonna make people uncomfortable if you're like ball if you're like ball like after gender reveal like it's like it's a boy and you're like I wanted my car like you're like mom like you don't want to be doing that you know the videos I've seen are like the dad will have like to perfect little sweet little girls and they do the poppers and it's pink again and then he gets so mad yeah see like you got to just tell the guy before like process that before the party yeah maybe go see your therapist maybe maybe schedule therapy appointment to work through that that is weird yeah like to actually be mad yeah actually the book I'm reading right now that just happened it's called the Frozen River yeah what it what is the book about the dad really wanted a boy and he had a third girl and he's upset and he was really mad because he needs help it was also the 1700s they had they had to make their own out wow they look yeah that's crazy do you do you talk about your books on always here sometimes are people I read a lot of books that nobody knows about too do you like to you I got you new books is is this it was really sad the book that I got you was really sad it's but it's by the same offer that I gave it five stars you gave my book five stars yep it's the same author that wrote a man called Ove right is it over Ove I don't know Ove a man called Ove I don't know another person submitted this wasn't really a hot thing but she just said that she shot her husband with paintballs which that's kind of fun that's a good way to do it that is a good way to do it I mean like his backs in turn pink no matter what so you might need to have like some very no there's a wear a white shirt oh yeah that makes sense yep I'm dumb I think I think I've seen before someone did like water guns yeah blue or pink water that'd be kind of fun it gets a little crazy at some point also I think this goes without saying you guys have been so kind and supportive with us since announcing that we're pregnant with our rainbow baby I think this is our first episode back since our announcement episode so just like seeing you guys commenting nice things supportive things in the comments has been just really encouraging and I think we have like a really cool community here like I think you guys are cool like Abby Abby got to meet a lot of you guys at an event that she did for her always here podcast and I feel like the community for the always here podcast is very similar to the unplanned podcast similar to the man Abby community and I think the consistent theme I've just seen in the people that we've met is just how you are you're also kind and you're also is genuine and nice and like positive people and that's like the people that I want to surround myself with and I know that Abby wants to surround herself with too so thank you to everyone for just the immense amount of like kindness that you've that you've shown us because we we are generally so excited for this baby boy and it's just it's just gonna be fun to watch these boys grow up together rough house and wrestle I think I think like the more I read about like birth order and learn about like the dynamics between siblings I think like well like correct me if I'm wrong but our game plan right now is to have our fourth as soon as we can after the third just because like having kids I mean because of the C section it'll be a long time but yeah the closer they are together I think the the closer they can be as like as like friends feel so but I feel so bad that you're sick we'll have two little duos wait but we okay this is a new development that we we learned this Abby like two weeks ago at an at a pregnancy appointment there's a potential for you to not have a C section this time I mean probably like less than 1% potential but I thought I thought she acted I thought the doctor acted like it was bigger than I think it's only because we have switched doctors since our first son's delivery okay so she is she has like sought the hospital records from like our first child's delivery to see how long the shoulder to stocia happened yeah his shoulders got stuck and I think she would be more inclined to like let me try for a V back if it was like a shorter amount of time yeah because she asked us how long he was stuck and I was like Matt do you have any clue me there must have any clue I think we both just like blocked out but I mean I know that there was time for other nurses to come in the room so I'm thinking that's a minimum of 60 seconds which kind of feels like a long time in the grand scheme of if you have five minutes you know what I mean yeah so she's sought the record so I'm sure at our next appointment she'll probably give me a better idea I think it also depends to on how the baby's measuring because not like we have massive babies but like definitely bigger than like I think they're like 88% tile yeah we've had bigger babies but I think from what they measured this this baby boy I don't know if that's totally accurate because the first scan was different so I feel like right now we won't know really till the growth scan yeah yeah I mean I I think I think like from what we see in our babies average like he's right there at like what's normal what's good so that makes us feel feel great that there's like no concern there but I mean would you do you think you would actually go for a V back if if your doctor gave you the option would you go for a V back if my doctor gave you the option yes why is that because I I don't want to have what why you ask me I feel like it's kind of obvious like that's minimal in V intervention as possible yeah but if that if a C-section is deemed the safest option I trust my doctor yeah like I I'm not one of those people that's like I think that doctors are lying to me like and so and I do probably feel like I feel a lot of peace with having a scheduled C-section to so I'm like either way I'm like I'm not super worried about it and I feel comfortable I'm excited to meet the baby I just thought that was cool that she at least like entertained the possibility of a V back for you because I know that from what we talked about you would love to do a V back if if it's safe if the doctor thinks it's safe and so her at least just presenting that potential opportunity is amazing just because like yeah I mean like the recovery from a C-section sucks like you you experience that it wasn't it wasn't fun it wasn't easy and then there's also just changes our timeline too like it also limits the amount of babies you can have exactly and that's why she brought it up because if you guys are planning on having a lot more kids we might need to try to do the V back if if we deem it to be safe because you really I don't think you can do more they they limit you to four C-sections right I mean they don't know you can keep having them but your risk increases each time and that's a uterine rupture yeah just not good on your uterus because it's a lot so I mean I feel like we're just I think that's what the doctor's job is to do is to just basically assess risk yeah and so obviously it changes things if we intend to have a bigger family but you know I would hate for the number of kids in our family to be limited just because of a C-section if that makes sense so especially if it seems like it could be an option yeah that safe for me and for the baby yeah so yeah I'm really excited to meet this baby I already feel like I know his whole personality and I already love him so much yeah I always tell Matt like the baby our baby's personalities and I feel like I've been spot on so I feel like this guy is a little comedian I feel like he's gonna be really funny and chill how do you even come up with that with him just being in your room trust me I'm right I know I'm excited to meet him I'm really in tune with him but that's hilarious yeah I'm so excited to be a boy mom of three like I like love that and you look so cute I love your dress the outfit today is cute the bump is bump in I love seeing you wear fit addresses I like to see the little but well everybody thank you again for listening in for another episode of unplanned if you haven't left us a review on Apple podcasts please do that it takes like literally 30 seconds to write a review this is one that we got from Wesley 97 it says number one podcast my wife interviews me to y'all about a year ago she's been listening since the beginning and y'all have become my favorite podcasters Matt as a fellow husband dad and ADHD here thank you I have often found my ADHD as a hindrance or an annoyance but you've helped me to appreciate it thank you so much west I appreciate that too I like having ADHD I know it's like it's weird it can be I know my ADHD can drag my wife crazy sometimes but it's like I feel like it just keeps life kind of exciting you know you know like I don't know my my brain is is different than other peoples and I've just I've grown to accept it so shout out to west my fellow ADHD or thank you to everyone that's left this review and yeah hopefully we can get to a million subscribers this year so we can continue to bring on cool guests to interview and have conversations with so again you guys we are so so grateful for this baby boy and thank you guys for falling along for all the support for all the kind of words we'll see you in the next episode three two Peace out, dudes!