Find the Upside with Zainab Johnson

So even when I was watching the special, I can see where my physical sort of like limitation or disability is, I can see it so clearly. And now that I'm saying it, I'm sure people will be like, right? But I don't think people, I think people think I walk like really gracefully. - Well, I tell you what. - Yeah, I think people. - Yes, I would never recognize you. - I think people think I glide across the road. - There you go, there you go. - I'm fighting for my life now. [Music] - How you doing, little girl? - I am pretty good. But we've got an amazing show, one of my favorite comedians. - Yeah, and I'm so glad. - On the planet. - You put me onto her boy. I was feeling like the old guy in the room, because everybody knew about Zaynab Johnson, but Craig Robinson. - Yeah, because you just not hit. - I'm just not hit. - Because you live in Mequon. - I just not have nothing goes on there. You miss all the good stuff, but just thing with me, dude. You'll know some things. - Yes. - Let's introduce her. - Well, Zaynab Johnson is a comedian, actress and writer, best known for starring in, as Alicia on the Amazon Original Series upload. And in 2023, her debut, Hourlong Standup Special, hijabs off, premiered on Prime Video. And her additional television credits include, Late Night with Seth Meyers, NBC's Last Comic Standing, and HBO's All Def Comedy. Her new special, toxically optimistic. You didn't notice how I got that out. It took me a while, 'cause toxically-- - You barely got it. You barely got it out. - I was gonna let it go. Produced by none other than Higher Ground, and arrives on Netflix, October 27th. - Yes, indeed. It's gonna be good. - So let's give a nice tall welcome to Zaynab Johnson. (audience applauds) - No, no, I can see her. - It's so good to see you. Thanks for being here. - Thanks for having me on my tippy toes. - Wow, I haven't done that in a while. Is everybody in your family tall, or are you-- - My brothers, but I'm the tallest of the girls. - Yeah, my sister's range from maybe like a average, like, five, eight. - Are they mad at you? - No. - 'Cause you got all the good hype. (laughs) - One of my older sisters, she's five, four, and she's upset about it. - Yeah, well, when they're 13 and y'all, I think you probably get every span of human. - Exactly. - You play out the whole gene pool. - Yes. - All the big R little R. - It's all, yeah. - All the y'all. - Yeah, it is really interesting to see like, how two people can create 13 different samples. - Yeah, you usually don't get to play it all out. - Yeah. - Take the bitter end. - Yeah, you won't have. - And a modern 13. Like, I don't think-- - What do you mean by a modern? - Modern, this is like a young family of 13. Like, not too many people doing 13s anymore. - Yeah, yeah, I think people always ask, like, are you, like, they want an explanation, you know? Like, why, where you guys put this on purpose? - Yeah, is there an issue we need to know about? - Yeah, yeah. - Is this a blended family? - Yeah, they never ask that though, but I think that they should, because Brady Bunch, right? But they never ask that, they always go to Mormon. - Which is-- - These days, yeah. - It makes sense, but I don't know. I'm not seeing no Black Mormon families on TV, so that's the part that I'm like-- - That's the thing. - Well, I have, I feel like this moment is, it illustrates the power of manifestation, because I have manifested my relationship with you. I have been stalking you for years, literally, literally for years, and it started when one of my team, they were like, 'cause they know I love comedy, I love funny stuff, I'm not on Instagram, so anytime anything is good, they're like, you gotta check this out, and saw some of your stand-up, and I was like, this woman is amazing. I called the higher ground team then, and I was like, this is the kind of, these are the kind of people we wanna work with, see, y'all gotta find her, and then I stalked you for years, years, anytime you were anywhere, and then when we were in Atlanta, and I heard you mention that you were somewhere in the vicinity when I was doing that project vote, rally. - I was in, actually, I was actually in Michigan, you know, it was so wonderful, it's wonderful when somebody's stalking you, and you're also stalking them. - That's so wonderful. - I was like, oh my god. (laughing) I was, I think I was in Michigan. - Okay. - And I made a flippant video, you know, I was like, Michelle, I hear you're gonna be in Michigan. Come to the show, we'll set you up. I mean, I was like, I'll get a uber black, I'll make sure it's bullet proof, like I was trying to really, you know, do what you need, you know? And they were like, she's not coming to your show. (laughing) - But she loves you, but I would have. - Yeah, oh, I would have, I would have, that's why when I was in Atlanta, you were near. - I was like, call her. - Yeah, and you came. - I came, yeah. - You came. - That's a wonderful event. - It was. - Yeah. - It was. - So that's where you met the first time? - Yes. - Okay. - In the green room. - Yes. - It was quick, 'cause everybody was back there. - Yeah. - So I just, I couldn't fully describe to you how long I had been stalking you. - Wow. - I mean, and how much I wanted to just, you know, get to know you and let you know how funny I think you are. And the fact that we're here today, not only talking on IMO, but we are helping to produce your next comedy special. Totally. - Yeah. - Optically, optometristically. - Oh. - Yeah, toxically, optometristically. - Yeah. - No, yeah. - Tastically. - I mean, totally is intoxically. I'm so totally optimistic that it's toxic. And here it is now. Here it is. - So hearing that, did that, at the time, meeting me, did that make you nervous, or you don't get nervous like that anymore? - Or at least. - Nervous right now. - Are you, oh, you're not. - No, I'm not, I'm not so nervous that I can't contain myself, but. - But nervous, excited. - Yeah, nervous, excited, for sure. I definitely get nervous before I go on stage, but it's not often that anyone gets to meet the former first lady. So that's, I mean, I don't, I know we're here for me today, but I can take a second. - We are. - You know, like, yeah. - No, I was, I was extremely nervous. - Well, you are incredibly talented. Talk a bit about the new special that we are co-producing on Netflix. - Yes, yes, and I'm so, you don't understand how much of a flex that is. - It's, you know, I'm learning. - Oh, please, please. No, I don't know any other comedian that Mrs. Michelle Obama is like, I was stalking you. I actually have more goals, but I think I can stop here. - I'm like, I think I can stop here. Don't stop. - I won't, I won't, I won't, I won't, but, um, so toxically optimistic is my second one, our special. And my comedy is really personal, you know? I'm not like, I guess I'm a little bit observational, but I have a very specific POV. I know how I feel about everything that I'm experiencing. And where my first special was like me, like laying in the ground, you know, like who I am, like, I'm at the intersectionality of these identities and what that's like for me, you know? And I wanted people to understand anything that I put out after that, this is who it came from, you know? And this, I just, I feel like we're in a really chaotic time. I feel like I am constantly making a choice to not live in fear. - Yes, for like so many different reasons. And I was like, I'm going to be very intentional about being joyful and whimsical and silly, but I'm still going to talk about things that are uncomfortable, you know, and serious and things that we're all kind of like living through. And so those, the bits are very personal to me, but they, you know, they start out like, this is a taboo subject, some of them, but then I always kind of spin it like this is, there's an upside or there's a fun way into this, you know? - The way you perform, it's not like you're hoping she don't mess up. - Yeah, yeah. - I mean, you have your audience where you want it to be and we're just following you. - Yeah. - Where'd that come from? - I have no idea. (laughing) I have no idea, but I know when I started, I know when I first did stand up, it felt very different than anything I had ever done it. It felt the most natural to me. And I say this, it's like very humbly, but I do think I could be pretty good at a lot of things. Like, say it, you know? And, but a lot of things that I've been good at in my life didn't feel almost like innate. And when I just stand up, it felt like that. to do it, I would like tell my friend's stories and they would be like, you got to say that on stage. And I would get on stage and the audience would be like, I don't get it. What happened there? Well, when did that happen? Because you mean you were like, oh, stand up for me. I'm good at it. When did that happen? What even made you try stand up? So I moved to LA. So I thought I would be a math teacher. Right. My entire life, I was like, I'm going to be a high school math teacher. I'm going to be a cool high school math teacher. You know, I saw dangerous minds. I'm like, I'm about to be the black Michelle. So I'm about to change kids' lives. That's what I thought. Okay. I grew up in New York City in Harlem. I remember they used to shoot like law and order in my neighborhood. My mom would be like, oh, downstairs. I'd be like, and do what? She would be like, smile. Don't shoot you. You know? And I'm like, this lady's crazy. But so I thought I would be like a math teacher just because I remember watching my mom as I was a child. I remember her constantly re-enrolling in school. And we would be with her. Like, you know, if she'd have like, I remember when I went to a class with her at Queens College, she had me, my younger brother, the twins, and she was pregnant. Wow. And still trying to, in my mind, I was like, I just need to get there. Like, I just need to get to the work part of it. I just need to complete, complete, complete. And so then after I, you know, completed school, essentially, a friend of mine who was a little bit more of a dreamer, then I, I guess had access to at first. She was like, I'm moving to L.A. and I was like, for what? And she was like, to be famous. Like, you can do that. Yeah. I mean, I'm like, we would go all the time, but like to move just seemed different. So you would go to L.A. All the time and like spring break. Okay. Yeah. And but you weren't going out to like try out, try, try, try, you, you hadn't become a, come out. No. Okay. No, no, no. I was talking to L.A. and L.A. for brunch. Okay. Yeah. Okay. And count, you know, just because you're like 20 and 21 and you don't know what else you know. And at this point, you're not thinking about being a comedian. No. Okay. Until like a couple of years later, I moved to L.A. and I actually, you know, was, didn't have any money for a little while. Go figure. Yeah. You were broke. Yeah. I was broke. I was broke. Surprise. Yeah. And I started working for a friend of mine because I would be at comedy clubs like almost every night. And with no, I never had the thought, not that I'm aware of, like, I'm going to do this. So you were a consumer of comedy at that time. Okay. At that time. Okay. And I never quite saw it as like a job. Okay. I thought like there's celebrities, right? Like Eddie Murphy, right? But then I thought that the people that I was seeing live and in person, like, they must go to a job early in the day. Right. They just couldn't possibly be in one and a million. You know, you get like a, you get like a big comedian, right? Right. But I just, that's all that it was for me in my mind. And so a friend, a guy that I know, a friend of mine, who produced a lot of comedy shows, he needed an assistant and I needed money. And I started working for him. And he was like, I can get you health insurance, like all the things that kind of sets in like after you're in LA for like a year, you like, you know, I need some help. Yeah. Like I actually go to the dentist, like I think I'm due for a cleaning, right? I am. An adult. Exactly. Exactly. And then I started working for him and that was cool, but it felt like, um, insufficient to me. And like, one, you know, a lot of jobs, I don't know, I felt like he was giving me perks that I couldn't even access because I was always at the job, you know? But then I felt like, well, if I'm just going to sit in the office, I could just go back to New York and work in a classroom. And so I quit the job. Yeah. Like I just, it just didn't feel right. Okay. I was a good assistant, but it just didn't feel like that was what I was supposed to be doing. And I had quit, I went in and gave him my two weeks and then I just Googled like an open mic. This episode of IMO is brought to you by our sponsor, Midi Health. I'm still surprised that the number of women I run into who are talking to me about their symptoms, but they don't even know that hormone replacement therapy or any therapy is an option. So we've come a long way. And I think, I think we can actually introduce hormone therapy to more women than currently get it, but we can support all women through menopause and perimenopause. Yeah. Midi sounds like it's really made, helped women, um, make it easier for women to get access to care. So Midi Health is a telehealth clinic made for women and we really, we're founded to really meet the huge care gap for women in perimenopause and menopause, which means we can help guide women through the hormone conversations. We really wanted women to access care and to do that, you have to make it easy, right? Yeah. So we used telehealth. I love telehealth as an access solution. And then we thought it was really important also to take insurance. So you can go to our website, which is joinmitty.com. That's joinmide.com and really the website helps you navigate. You can book an appointment right there. We have available in all 50 states and you start your journey there. You can come with one question, one issue or some women come and just say, what should I do? I feel like every year I tell myself, I'll get ahead of the holidays. I'm going to have the gifts figured out, the decorations up, everything handled nice and early. And then somehow the holidays still sneak up on me. So this year, I'm starting early and it's so, so easy to do it with Amazon. All year I've been making little notes for myself about what I think each of my friends and family might want. And that's trickier for some than others. Like I have maybe 10 ideas written down for Kelly. But only one or two for my sister, I think she'd like a Kindle, but I might want to do a bit more research before I lock it in. Meanwhile, my kids are the easiest ones. I just get them whatever video game accessory nonsense that they're dying for right now. And Amazon makes it simple to get a head start on gifting without spending a fortune. Even something small can bring joy. The way I get excited to find a new ornament each year that represents something special from that year. You can find low prices across everything from fashion and fitness to toys, electronics, holiday decor, groceries, advent calendars, you name it. Get a head start on holiday gifting with Amazon's low prices. Shop now at amazon.com/holiday. And I went to an open mic by my house, but you said your mom took you to a comedy club when you were 10 and you said you loved Eddie Murphy, oh, I'm sorry. You said I'm a head back to New York, but before I do that, I'm going to open a mic. Okay. So I didn't go back to New York, well, yeah, I thought I thought that I could be back. And if I'm going to decide to step into a career that puts me at a place nine to five, then I'm going to go back and do what I think would be more impactful, right? But so that day I went that evening, I went home, and I just Google like open my, I was familiar enough. Like I knew how comedy worked because I was around it so much. And I Googled open mics near my apartment, fully expecting it to be awful. I've been at open mics. Nobody wants to see every, it's awful. You were interrupting people's food, you know, comedians don't want to see you. They want their time. And so I went in it. You had to pay five dollars or buy a coffee, and you get five minutes and it was like first come first serve. And I got on a stage. I wrote jokes that I. That day it all happened in a matter of a moment. It all happened in a matter of a moment. I Googled, I found the place, it said five minutes and I was like, okay, I know what time I need to be there. I know I have to buy coffee. Now, what am I going to say? And I started with what I knew, which was my family. And I started talking about, I think I wrote down, I think the very first thing I ever wrote down was like, hmm, I'm Muslim. Muslims don't like pork. Why? That's what I wrote down. That's it. And then I got up there and I delivered what I thought was material. I said, I'm one of 13, and everybody said, oh, and I said, oh, I don't know why I did. Maybe because I'm so used to like you said, blend the family. I said, oh, but from the same mother and father. That's what I said. And everybody was shocked. But also, that was like the humor for them. And I was like, okay, okay, and my mom was like, oh, that's what's funny. All right. I got a lot of it. Yeah. And then I just, I kept going and they left. This is not a long time. This is like three and a half minutes. But still, it's like three and a half minutes. but I mean, it's not like you, all right. Some people probably plan for five minutes for years. - Yeah, yeah. - You just decide, hey, I'm gonna go to an open mic night. Let me write a few jokes and then bam. - But I wasn't confident. Like I didn't think that it would go well. - I know, truly, it went well. (laughing) It went well. - What do you then do actually go and think? - Oh, I wasn't. - I just thought, like you said, if I'm gonna just go home, let me, let me, yeah, let me, and then I got up there and it went better than expected. But it felt, forget how it went. - Yep. - It felt like something I had never felt. - Okay, and what was that feeling? Where did you feel, did you feel in your stomach, in your head? (laughing) - I think I felt it in my gut, and I think I felt it in my heart. - Okay. - It sparked something. I was excited in a way that I had never and excited, and I wasn't excited, like I think I'm funny. I was excited to try it. You know what it felt like? You ever get on a roller coaster and you're like scared on a roller coaster, but as soon as you get off the roller coaster, you like, I gotta do it again. - Yes. - That's what it felt like. - Okay, no, do any of your siblings think you're funny or did they think you were funny when you were younger? Because I could see a sibling saying, oh, you ain't funny, I'm funnier than you are. - So one of my first TV appearances, my mom, and maybe like six of my siblings drove down to Atlanta. We taped in Atlanta, and my younger brother, after the taping, he said, I was so scared, I'd never been more scared in my life before you came out. And I was like, well, why were you scared? You weren't the one going out there, and he was like, I don't remember you being funny. (laughing) - Yeah, that sounds like a brother, right? - Yeah, I just bust out laughing. He was like, yeah, I don't remember you being funny. He said, but then the moment you said your first joke, everybody laughed, he was like, I was able to just relax. And then I listened to you, you are really funny. - Oh, that's nice. - But I think they just see me. I'm like, I'm the fifth of 13. - Your smack dab in the middle, almost, right? - Like, I'm the oldest of the middle. - She wasn't a math teacher. - That's okay. (laughing) - I said almost, it's on the middle. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm not have to agree with her. - Yeah, I'm like that. - I cannot be in the middle of it. - Yeah, I know, so you're the fifth. I'm the fifth. - Out of 13. - Yeah, so I guess the-- - We have to be seven and a half. - Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, six and a half, one. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, and it's like, he's gonna be fired after that. (laughing) - But there's a lot of, there's so many younger than me. I'm the older sister. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And so, yeah, I'm not being funny with you because I'm probably, I'm assisting the parents. - Yeah, yeah, you gotta have your stuff together. - Yeah, like you know better. - Yeah, you know, but now they come to my shows and everybody thinks that I'm funny. - Were you always that person that, when you were a kid, were you, I mean, you were, you were rightfully confident and poised. And like you said, there's an air where you feel like, I'm good at a lot of things. And they're just not a lot of, you know, people who feel that way about themselves. Were you always that way? And were you unique in your family? - I think I was always encouraged to like speak up. Even like, I remember my first job when I was 16. I worked in retail and I remember I had so many opinions. (laughing) I was just like, and they did, I would just go home to my father and I would just, you know, just tell him like, yeah, and can you believe that this is how they're, they're telling me to do it like this, but it should be done like that. And he was like, you should really start a consulting firm. And I was like, (laughing) at 16, I don't know if I knew what a consulting firm was, but he was like, that's what you should do. You seem to have opinions about things, you know? So I don't know, I don't always feel confident, but people tell me I'm very confident, but I don't always feel that way, but I think I keep going regardless, you know? - Tell me about your parents. I mean, just the, all the little things, you know, eggs you're droppin' - Yeah. - They sound pretty amazing, you know? I mean, because you felt, it sounds like they saw all of you. And I have 13 kids - Yeah. - And to be able to, you know, shoot, just the fact that you came home at 16, you were talkin' to your dad about your job, and he had, and he was listening. - Yeah. Well, you know, he said, whenever we were old enough to get jobs, he said that we had to contribute to the house. So I would have to give a third of my teenage paycheck to the house. So I felt like, you're gonna hear my complaints. (laughing) - If I got a kid, but somebody didn't expect it. - You don't talk about it, you're gonna talk about it. (laughing) - I've made this distinction as an adult. I like my parents. I love them, but I like them. And I don't think I knew the difference when I was young. I remember being at a friend's birthday party. And I remember hearing her grandmother say, "I love you, but I don't like you." And I was like, "No, you can do that." Like, I didn't even know that, like, Emily, you could have differentiated, you know? - Yeah. - And so now as an adult, I'm very clear that I really, my father's passed away, but I really liked him, you know? As a person, he wasn't perfect. I, there's a lot of conversations that I wish I had had with him, you know? And my mother is not perfect at all. And I really love them in how they raised to me, raised us, although, you know, from 13 to, or from one to 13, it's very different. I realized I've had, like, graduations, different experiences. Yeah, then, like-- - 'Cause your parents evolved too. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me and my older siblings are like, "Yeah, we're gonna have a birthday party." We was like, "We got a cake." And my younger brother was like, "I had amazing birthday party." - He's good. - Yeah, you went to Disneyland too, 'cause, you know, we were older and we took you, you know? But I really liked them. Like, I find, when I think about, like, memories of my father, he was very strict. And I understand why. - And what a strict, how did that, how did that play out, what did it mean? Did he yell, did he make you, did he just have rules, or all of the above? This is a defining moment of my childhood, with my father and I. He used to always say, "Make sure you come home before the street lights turn on," right? He would always say, "My parents never really let me "go to sleepovers and things." I would go to the birthday party, but maybe at eight, nine o'clock, they would come and pick me up, right? And I didn't know if it was like they're just strict, I didn't know if it had to do with Islam. Like, I really, at the time, they didn't explain it to me, but I just knew that y'all know Zainab ain't staying, you know? Like, everybody just knew there, right? And there were these two girls that I used to hang out with. And we, I didn't go to school with them, but we lived in the same neighborhood. And they were also Muslim girls. And so my parents were kind of comfortable with me going over to their house. They knew their mom, their, you know, their mom. And I remember I got a bit comfortable 'cause my parents were so comfortable with them. I got really comfortable. And so they lived right across the street. And so I knew like, yeah, the street lights are on now. And I knew they couldn't, yeah, they know where I'm at. They love you, they trust you, they go to the masher. But they know, you know? And I came home later than I was supposed to. And my father said, I'm gonna put you on restriction until the end of the school year. And this was like October. (laughing) And so I was like, he's gonna put me on restriction until like the end of this calendar year, right? And I was like, okay, what's the restriction? And he's like, unless it's some extra curriculum, like unless it has to do with school, you have to come straight home after school. And you are not gonna do anything, like you can't go on like class trips. You can't like, all of these things. Like anything that was like fun. He was like, that's you are restricted. And I was like, cool, this is like a month he's gonna, don't let me out early, right? No, no. It wasn't until at the time I think New York City schools got out at like the end of June. It was until the end of June, I'll never forget. One of my friends' parents actually came to my show in North Carolina recently. She was like, do you remember me? I said, I absolutely do. 'Cause it was middle school. And I couldn't go on the end of the school year trip, which was to like an amusement park. And all of my friends' parents called my parents and said, if it's money, we'll pay for Zana. (laughing) Yeah. If it's money, we'll cover the trip for her. My father was like, it's not money, it's restriction. And I didn't go on a trip because he, he meant it, you know? And then, at that point, it's like, now I'm used to restriction. Now I'm in the house forever, you know? And they could have opened the door and you wouldn't have gone out. Like one of those dogs really trained to stay in the house and you're like, oh, yeah, it's nice out there. We'll see you later. The very last day of school, he was like, okay, restriction is up, you know? And I was like, I mean, well, my friends have moved on without me. (laughing) But that really kind of, I knew who he was. and we're going to be back. and he's somebody who, well that's not like a fun story for me in the moment in retrospect it is, but I'm also very hard on people that don't keep their word. - Yes, yeah. - I'm super intolerable to that, and that might be, because like I grew up with someone who, it's like he meant what he said. - Yeah, yeah, and that meant something. - Yeah, my mom's way more flexible, you know, you catch her on the right day, or you know, she'll be like, okay, you can go, oh my God, you know. - I have a feeling of both of them were strict like that, you wouldn't be funny. - Yeah, maybe not. Or maybe I would be like defiant. - Yeah, you'd be in some other industry, like investment banking, or something like that. (laughing) - And that's it. - Feeling it, being really, you're right. - Go right ahead, go right ahead, no, no, I'm not kidding. - I don't use that in my open mic, I think. (laughing) - All right, so then let's step off the stage for a bit here, 'cause I wanna know about your basketball career. - Okay. - Was it a career? - Not really. (laughing) - Well, so tell me about it then, 'cause I read that you were a hooper for a little bit. - Well, yeah, if I was, I was. - And might've gone to college, playing hoops if you hadn't had your accent, right? - Yeah, you know, truly that is true, that is true. - Yeah. - If you're playing like that, you are on your way to having some kind of career. - Yeah, no, you're absolutely right, you're absolutely right. I can't remember, I think it was the gym teacher in my middle school. He was also the basketball coach. - There you go. - Okay, that makes sense. - And he was like, you should try, I come to the, maybe he said, come to the practice or the tryouts, and I did not think anything of it. And then I just kept doing it. Nobody was like, you're so good, you should stay. I don't remember that, you know? But like, I was like a tall girl who could hold her hand up. - Yeah. - You know? - But it wasn't like you were playing A, U basketball or? - So I got good. I got good. - So I wasn't good, but I wasn't good. But I got good. So I went to Marmberg, and 'cause it's like I had the grades, but they just, it was like, oh, we're gonna bring these girls from the city down here, and it's gonna be, we're gonna be, have like a like diligent basketball program, which will like help with recruiting. - Yes. - Yeah. And I remember that when I was supposed to go home, that was when I got hit by a truck. (upbeat music) - We're heading to Tokyo this winter, and I'm so excited. I was there once before, but only for about 24 hours. So I feel like I barely scratched the surface. This time, I really wanna experience Tokyo beyond just checking the big sites off the list. I've heard the best way to take in the city is to slow down, wander the neighborhoods, find the local ramen spots and markets, and just see where the day takes you. I'd love to see and feel the people in places like the locals do. That's been true for me wherever I've traveled. I wanna see the big sites of course, but what I really remember most is the stuff that happened in between. The little hidden restaurants you stumble into. The people watching. It's all part of what makes the city unique. And if you're lucky enough to be doing some traveling yourself, remember that your home doesn't necessarily have to sit empty while you're gone. You can list your space on Airbnb while you're away. It's a pretty cool way to make a little extra money that you can put toward your next trip while also giving somebody else a place to stay and a chance to really see your city. They can get out, walk around the neighborhood, find the spots you love, and experience the place the way you do. Because honestly, that's when you really get to know a city. When you experience it like a local. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.com/host. This episode is brought to you by progressive insurance who is committed to helping people move forward and live fully. I remember when I was the first time home buyer, and I knew one thing, and it was that I knew nothing. Mortgage's closing cost, inspections, home insurance, there's a lot to look into. If you're working towards buying your first home, then I really recommend doing all that research. And I'm happy to say there are some programs like progressives open the house that make things considerably easier. Through this initiative, progressive is helping first time home buyers overcome some of the biggest barriers to home ownership through helpful tools, educational resources, connections to trusted organizations, and funding opportunities. For a lot of people, buying that first home is about more than owning property. It's about building stability and creating a place that's yours. And I know that's how it was for me. Learn more about progressives commitment to first time home buyers at progressive.com/openthehouse, where you can learn more about common housing challenges and access helpful tools and resources to empower you in your housing journey. You know what's funny? Almost every entrepreneur I admire says some version of the same thing. They didn't feel ready when they started. They just started. That's the thing about rating for the right time to build something of your own. It doesn't come. Life stays busy. The timing never lines up perfectly. And the only real difference between the people who do it and the people who talk about it is that one of them just took the first step. And yeah, the first step can be scary. But you don't have to figure it out alone. 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I got hit by a truck. - Mm-hmm. - And then can you stand up too? - Yeah, I like to just drop a bomb on your head. - Yeah. - And just let them deal with it. - I'm like, wait, this is supposed to be funny. - Can you tell me how you introduce it in your stand-up? - We tell us the story for your stand-up perspective because it's funny, but I do want to know more about that accident and what that period was like for you. - Yeah, so I was on stage. I say like, I have a really positive outlook, which I do. And part of it is because something, I say, I say, I know where it comes from. I got hit by a truck when I was 17 years old. People are like, wait, why? And, and, yeah, that's how I introduced it on stage. And I try to make it, I try to make it funny before they can drop into like empathy. But I know I was in a jettah. - Mm-hmm. - You guys sponsored by jettah? - No, no. (laughing) - No, we're not. (laughing) Because it was that car, now forever for me, the car is the enemy. (laughing) And so that car shut down. And my friend, the driver, she was like, the gas station is, we can see it, we were just there. She was like, you guys want to get out and push? And I'm like, no. And she's like, yeah, I'm going to put it in neutral, we'll just push it back to the gas station. And me and my friend, I remember us just cracking jokes. And I had on brand new sneakers at the time. And I remember pushing the back of this car. And I'm like, I better not mess up my sneakers. Like I remember that being one of my last thoughts. And then I woke up in an ambulance. - Okay. - I woke up in an ambulance. And the EMT was, had like his fingers up, like tell me how many fingers am I holding up? I used to say this on stage too. He's like, tell me who the president is. I'm like, you know, I'm 17, I do not know who the president is. - It's wrong. - Yeah. - It's different time, like I feel like 17-year-olds know who the president is today. - Maybe not. - Okay. - And for me, I was like, for a wrong question, you know? And then I woke up again in the hospital. And then I was made aware of what happened. And then I spent like the rest of my senior year of high school in the hospital. And I, the first couple of days were really hard, like really, really hard, really painful, really. And I didn't even understand the severity of it, but still I knew that I had forever been changed. - So you are already starting to process it emotionally? Or no? - I think it sounds like that, 'cause now I'm speaking about it, like with all the knowledge and sort of experience that I have now. But I think in a moment it was just like, y'all said my legs is broke, I'm a hooper. My legs are broke. Like my legs, not just broken, but they're like, you don't know if I'm ever gonna walk again. - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. - No, I wasn't like in my gonna walk. It's like, so I can't play basketball. You know how you get over, like, to do what you need in light of your six stuff. It's like, forget walking. - And where am I, Jim? - Yeah, I'm not gonna be able to play basketball. And so I just knew, like, that had become such a huge part of my life. For me, that was gonna pay for college. For me, that was going to be like a defining part of who I was, you know? And so then to find out almost instantly that, like, mm, you know, yeah, that, and not they weren't, they wouldn't even entertain that kind of thing. It was like, you're lucky you have legs. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Like you're lucky. - And you've got smashed in between the car. - So I was told that it was a drunk driver driving, 'cause I think when I say truck, people don't know what truck to envision, right? - I went straight to 18 Wheeler. - I don't know why that's, I don't know why that is. - You can use that, you can use that in your show. - 'Cause you know when you said that in my mind, I was like, "Oh, I would've been dead." - I would've been dead too, but I was just saying in my mind, when you said truck, I was like, "If you survive 18 Wheeler, you're supposed to be here." - Right, you know? - Right. - So it was more so like a delivery truck. So think of like a standard postal truck. Not like a small postal, but like a UPS truck. 'Cause that's actually what it was. - Yeah. - Yeah. - It was a shipping, or yeah. So that sort of truck. And I didn't even, I thought my friend was experiencing exactly what I was experiencing. But maybe about two or three weeks into our hospital stay, I have found out that her leg was amputated. So when they were telling me like, "You're lucky you have legs, you're lucky." I didn't really understand that. And then when I saw her, I was like, "Oh." And it felt, I really sorta lost hope, I guess. The first few weeks for myself. I didn't think that I was gonna die. But I just thought life was gonna not be fun anymore. I thought that like, I was gonna be like a burden on people. Like I just didn't, you know? And then I remember when I saw her and realized it, her leg was amputated. I felt so silly. I felt so silly about never once having a thought of gratitude, you know? And then I was like forever changed again. 'Cause now everything is like, I could find the upside. That's what's actually happening, right? I can find an upside. I'm not saying that I'm not glossing over a thing. Sure. But there's so many, I'm so grateful. I'm much more grateful for the things that I am. Did it take you time to come to that? Or did you feel that as soon as you found out about your friend? I think I felt so silly right in that moment. Yeah, and nobody knew. But like I was embarrassed by myself. You know, like in my head and my own head and like hard, I was like embarrassed. Like, yeah, how did you feel this way? Yeah, like you, I don't wanna trivialize my experience or diminish it. Well, I was going through something very real in, but I do still have both my legs. I still do, you know, like I, and so I don't think, I think that I had that like turning point in the way that I thought. I think that was instant. But I think putting it to practice, like living in it, I think that I just noticed more and more. Like, I tend to have a positive, even or or, or not I tend to have a positive outlook, but I'm looking for to the point where one of my girlfriends was like, I'm gonna stop telling you about the guys that I'm dating because every time I tell you he's doing something wrong, you're like, well, maybe. (laughing) Well, think about me and I'm not that I'm trying to ever see my friend into, but there's more time for you. I'm like, maybe you're in his life to like reveal his, you know, like, my friend was like, it's you. That might be toxic to be optimistic. (laughing) I do say so as a guy. Yeah, I need you to just say he's, you know, dick. I need you to call him an asshole with me and let's move on together. Yeah, exactly, so. What was your rehab process like, and what'd you learn about yourself through it? Once I started walking, I walk weird, but people don't know, but I know I walk around. I'm gonna watch you now. (laughing) Weird, just generally weird, or weird for you. So, even when I was watching the special, I can see where my physical sort of like limitation or disability is, I can see it so clearly. And now that I'm saying it, I'm sure people will be like, you're right, right. Well, I tell you what. Yeah, I think people. Yes, I would never advise you. I think people think I glide across the river. There you go, there you go. When I'm fighting for my life, no, I'm dragging this place. I'm truly, truly, like my left foot, I don't know if I don't think people, I say it so much online, but I don't think people truly hear me, like I don't have dorsiflexia in my left ankle. I have limited in my right. I don't have any of it in my left ankle. It takes so much of me, when I first used to walk on my left, I used to, it's almost flat, really. You know, and then I guess I, I guess I've built up muscle enough in my leg, and I'm sure other parts of my body, yeah, I run often. Yeah, and I used to run for very long distances, like eight and a half miles a day, like, oh, yeah. That's non-basketball play-a-esque right there. But that's hit by a truck-esque. Yeah, that's right. When somebody, when they say you might not be able to walk, you're an invalid, you're like, I'm running. I'm running until something stops me. Right. What's it like being a tall, beautiful black woman in stand-up? 'Cause you, you know, like you said in your stand-up, you got a little bit angry, and Muslim. And yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a lot to navigate in an industry that isn't known for being inclusive. What's that been like for you? This might sound like a little bit naive, but I forget that I'm beautiful. I like I don't, but I do. No, no, no, no, hear me out, hear me out. Like, I don't forget, like, it doesn't go into reverse. I'm not like, I'm ugly, right? Like, no, no, well, yeah. Do you know? But like, sometimes I'm just so focused on, like, I wanna, I want them to understand what I'm gonna say. I want them to get my bits. I'm going out to strangers who sometimes are from a very different like walk of life than it. And I want them, I have to get them to understand me quick and then try and make it funny. And so sometimes I'm so focused on that. I forget, like, oh yeah, I'm 5'11" and I'm like, I forget that until I walk out and they're like, you know, like they really are, like, have to take it in. And then I'm like, oh, and it's, that's not comedy, that doesn't service comedy. People think that it does, but it doesn't service comedy. And so I used to address it. Maybe I'll start, I used to, I used to tell this joke when I had them like, you know, when I knew they liked me. 'Cause don't nobody wanna hear somebody say they're beautiful if they don't like you. You never say any like, girl, you don't have to say it, right? But when I, I would give them a few jokes and then I would be like, what was the joke? I don't, jokes you forget them when you stop doing them. That's okay, we're not judging. - I used to say-- - When you have established your very funny, so if you say something that's not funny, it's just like regular discussion. - Okay, okay, I'm like, on our table. - I used to say, I used to do this joke. When people tell you you're beautiful, they think it's the first time you've heard it. And so I would be like, this guy stopped me. Like it was a state of emergency. He was like, man, do you know you're stunning? And I would be like, yeah, he wouldn't know what he would be like. - Right. - You know, like, what else? What else you got? Like I'm a pet talk computer, you know? - Is there more? - Yeah, yeah. - You've got to follow up. - Yeah. - So speaking of that, is it hard to meet guys because you're so beautiful? 'Cause that's a thing, right? - I think more so is the funny part. - Really? - I think it's the funny part. - No, you think the funny part is intimidating more intimidating than the pre, the beautiful part? - I think there's, I think there's a lot of beautiful women. I see beautiful women every single day. - I see women who take my breath away every single day. The funny part is the part that, when I'm on a date with a man and he's giving me jokes, it's like this is not what I want. - Oh, I'd rather know that you have health insurance. (laughing) - I'd rather, how long have you been at your job? How do you, where's your mom? How do you feel about that? I don't need you to make me laugh. - I got it. Let's try it. to make you laugh. Oh, no, they want to be funny. But the thing is, as a comedian, I'm around like some of the funniest men on earth. It's like you. Yeah, you're not gonna just don't and don't and I don't want to date the funniest men on earth. Yeah. Yeah. I want to do. Are you an engineer? Tell me about it. Yeah. Right. That's right. Let's go. That's like that's like trying to go play Steph Curry and one-on-one. Yeah. Is you not going to win? Yeah, you're not going to win. Yeah. What's dating like in at this stage and like you were famous? Are you on? Do you do the apps? Do you? I got on an app once. We talk about it on the special. Okay. Yes. I'm not on the apps because but I'm not against them. Like I would encourage any other woman in the world to get on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How are you going to meet people? It's funny. I say that in the special. You know, people are like, I just want to meet and I'm like, well, where do you go? And I'm just in my house. And I'm like, well, that's, you know, that's a crime. So, you know, are you going to fall in love with the person who does a home invasion? You got to ask yourself. Yeah. Yeah. You know. But I don't particularly love apps for me for two reasons. Part of like the fun and dating for me is spontaneity. I kind of like not knowing. You know, I kind of like us figuring it out together and finding it together. But yeah, but also it does feel a bit unfair as like a public facing person to like go into meeting somebody and they know so much about me. And I know nothing. I know nothing about them yet, but I also don't know how much they know about me. And so. Is it unfair to you or unfair to them? It's unfair to me. I think in my, I don't know if it's unfair to them. I haven't even considered it. You're making me consider something new. But to me, it kind of, it feels like I'm like a, it just, it just feels a little bit unfair. And very recently, very recently, a friend of mine, a friend of another comedian asked the friend of mine is because I was on my way to a show. And he was like, I'm going to wait around for a moment. And my friend was like, okay. And he was like, yeah, she's single. And my friend was like, who knows me? Well, she's trying to tell him like, you could probably go get out of it. Going around, going around. And he's like, okay. He's like telling her like why he's interested in me. And the first thing that I did, this is why I say it's unfair to know. Because the first thing I did when she told me, she was, I was like, oh, he's a comedian. She said, yeah. And I just immediately went to look for his comedy. Oh, yeah. And the crowd. Yeah, I want to look for his comedy. Yeah. Okay. And yeah. Is he funny? He's funny. Oh, no. He's funny enough. He's technically funny. He's funny. He's funny. He's fine. He's fine. He's fine. He's fine. Yeah. I like, I think it's nice. A lot of people like to meet people through people. Yeah. I think the referral is nice. But I've had that go bad too. And it, and it, and it almost sucks because it's like, it's like, it went bad with me. But then it's like, now my friend doesn't want to be that guy's friend anymore. Yeah. You know, like, it's a little embarrassing. Yeah, he's like passing gas in a room. Exactly. Just like, I'm not going back in there. Yeah. Yeah. You even have to look at you. No, that was disgusting. Nobody wants to hear Michelle Obama says, like, I love this time of year, but hosting during the holidays can be a bit of a challenge. So Kelly and I have collected a few hacks to make it a little bit easier. One of our favorite moves is an extendable dining room table. It's this great walnut color and it's mid-century modern. So it looks awesome in our space. And it even has extra storage in the legs. When we don't need the middle panels, we just slide them out and our space is back to how it was before. For all things hosting, Wayfair delivers high quality customer trusted products for your home so you can host and celebrate without distress. Use filters, customer photos and more than 20 million verified five star reviews to confidently find the right fit for your home. When refreshing your home this holiday season, Wayfair delivers exactly what you need. Head to Wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's w-a-y-f-a-i-r dot com. Wayfair every style every home. How does life change for you as you've ascended? Do you feel famous? Do you feel more restricted? Do you, are you still out there like real people? Yeah, I'm very much out there like real people. And I think that I'm like getting comfortable with it. Like how famous do you want to be? How big do you want to be? Because you really do like just getting on a train. I really do like just being out in the world, you know. But people film me without me knowing. I mean we do that to each other anyway, but I feel like the biggest thing is because because people have like a misconception of like public, you see how I'm not saying famous, but like I guess just public facing people. I see you avoiding it, but I don't think I'm confident enough to be like, because you know I was a famous comedian. I'm like it sounds so much better when someone else says it. Okay. But I think that you know, you earlier said you always want to show up as your true self. And I think the moment you know, you're like constantly being watched and not watched, but like people have an expectation of you. It just, it just makes you feel, it just kind of constricts your behavior. And so there's sometimes where I'll find myself in, I don't know if it's a uncomfortable situation, but a situation that I may handle a certain way, right? But because I know the person is a fan, I feel like I can't. I know exactly. I feel like I can't like living the truth of the moment, you know. You can't tell them off. That's what you're trying to say. Or I can't just educate them into a boundary that they're crossing. Nicely tell them off, right? A little bit of them training myself in media. Yes, that's very good. And so things like that, but other than that, it's like I'm still, I like hearing, I like, I like, you know, I like the pleasant surprise of like just being on a flight and like waking up and like I have like a really lovely note from the flight attendant telling me how some, some joke of mine got her or him through something like I, that makes me, it really affirms me actually. You know, it's much more affirming at this point and at this level than it is annoying, you know, but I know what I signed up for. So, yeah, we always want to help our listener with a listener question. But before we get to the listener question, I know that my sister wants to talk to you about that bad ass soup you got on. Oh, yeah, I wasn't going to ask. I love the setup to the list. But you know, the, the comedian and me loves, I didn't care at all. My sister's not used to be here watching it for sure. I hope it looks okay. It's so good. That's a nice suit now. It is the first thing I noticed, but I was like for whatever reason, I was like, we don't have to go into fashion. But we can go into fashion. But let me tell you, let me tell you, let me tell you, we can go wherever you want to go. This is how I know my sister's, you know, we do these in bunches, right? And so I was giving her like the little behind-the-back path. Oh, yeah, yeah. She could just like, yeah, you locked it to her. And she was like, oh, it's like, no, I wasn't actually, no, but what is that? Who's, who's, who's, who's, who does it, this suit is from the Frankie shop. I realized that if ever I, I seem confident. It's because I'm super comfortable. And it's so hard to be comfortable if you are worried about like how something is fitting you so that you're here. And it's so, 'cause it's occupying your mind. And for me to be quick on my feet, I can't be worried about what I look like. And so I also, you know, it's like I'm 5'11. Let's not put this to waste. You know? You know? It's like, yes and yes, it all looks good. Yeah, it will take it. Yeah. And so I like a very specific look. I mean, I like anything that I deem as like classic. Yeah. Like if you see me today or you see me 20 years from now, you'll still go, that looks good. And you're also, you know, demanding more. I mean, you're a prime special. You negotiated, you know, to own that. You go, you went in knowing just like in this special, how you want it filmed, what you wanted it to be. The fact that that special was in the round. That was a clear choice that you made. Yes. That a lot of first time comedy special people, you know? Yeah, they leave it up to other people. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of people on in the credits of my first special, like people will reach out to them. Like you produce a nap special, you know, you direct it. You did this and can you do my special? And they would be like, yes. But also you should know that was all her. I'm talking like that was all her. Like we, you know, physically like helped her bring her thing to life, but that was, she was very particular. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good at everything. She didn't lie. She didn't lie. Well, let's see if she's good at giving advice. I wonder. I doubt it. I don't think she does enough opinion. We can all give advice. Good advice is different. Well, let's hear from our listener. Hi, IMO. My name is Sydney and I'm a college student who just got a job writing for my school newspaper. I'm very nervous, but thrilled to get the job. I've recently been assigned a few pieces, but as I get started, I'm curious, what are some ways I can go about finding my voice as a writer? I'm sure it'll come with time, but I just wanted to get your advice on practices. You can try to do to find your creative voice. And this is from Sydney who's 19 in Colorado Springs. I always encourage people, especially when they're trying to find their voice. And this is how I found my voice, start with the truth. Start with the truth. Whatever you care about, especially a newspaper, don't try to write something that you think people care about, start with what do you care about? And so I would write down pet peeves. And that helped me talk about my early material. Like, yeah, this doesn't annoy me. Oh, I feel-- oh, I got a lot of jokes about that, you know? But yeah, the truth, the truth, I think, is the key to your voice. And yeah, with practice, you'll get better, and you'll learn some things. But yeah, the truth. That resonates. I still think that creativity is a practice. It's a muscle that you have to work on to put time into. I think some young people may feel like if you're creative, it's just because you were born that way. You're just naturally funny. And you can naturally sing. But the best of the best people put hours and hours into their craft, like a jump shot. You don't get good at it if you don't practice. And when it comes to writing, you just have to write. And then write about anything. Just write. That's journaling and writing down your thoughts and observations, using substats and all the current technology to fuel your practice. You can tell we're in the same family, because she was going one way. And then she decided to take my answer. But that was exactly what I was going to say. And we've talked about this on IMO. Before, my sister was a great creative writer when she was like eight years, seven, eight years old. She wrote the funniest story. So just start writing, and you'll be on your way. Another thing you said that I wanted to touch on in terms of the kind of freedom that you want to have as a black female comedian. You made the point when you told, "Inded your set." Talking about a possum. Yes. Yes. Your interaction with the possum. And I was like, my drop. Thank you. Because that's one of those where you took us so confidently to this place. And ended with a clear and powerful point about why you did that. I want to end with you talking about that a little bit and what that meant to you. I love that we're talking about this right now, because sometimes it stands up. You have to fight for bits. And it's a long bit. And people are worried about people's attention span. So a lot of feedback was like, we love the point that you're making. But is there another way to make this point? And I'm like, no. And I felt I, along with a lot of other women who look like me or are other, you know? We have the obligation to speak like real, to talk about these harder things. And not to be able to play. And I wanted to play on purpose, you know? Because I wanted anybody who watches me to have the permission to play. The point you're saying is that certain comedians have the freedom to be anything in the standup. But a lot of times women are black women. We have talk about menopause. We have talk about a man. And we have talk about a sorrow. Yeah. I am being defiant in what I believe is like a creative way. But I'm also just bringing attention to-- That was powerful. Thank you. Well, I'm looking forward to talk, toxically, after. I'll be able to say that. It's a mouthful. By the time it comes out, I'll be able to say that. Talk about when's it coming out? So I look, because this podcast is going to air right around the time. So we're doing some dual promotion here. Talk a bit about when, when, where, how? All the things. Toxically, optimistic will be out on Netflix. October 27th. That is Tuesday. That is when all the specials drop on Netflix. Tuesday, October 27th. So stream it. Stream it again. Don't miss it. Don't miss it. Don't miss it. I'm telling you this woman, Zaynab Johnson. She is all of that. And I'm so glad I stalked you. Thank you. You do not disappoint ever. Thank you. Thank you. And you know what? We like you. [LAUGHTER] [MUSIC PLAYING] This episode is brought to you by Collegard. 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