The couple’s relationship is strained by a combination of financial control issues, emotional volatility, and deep-seated mistrust. The husband takes full control of finances after the first child, denying the wife access to her own money for basic needs like groceries or diapers, despite her role as a stay-at-home parent. This financial dependency leads to frustration and resentment, as the wife feels powerless and emotionally drained. The husband frequently reacts with anger and aggression—such as flipping a plate in front of their children—when confronted, which escalates conflicts. Underlying this is a history of mistrust, including claims of past infidelity and emotional betrayal, such as texting an ex-girlfriend about being "forever attached" after the baby was born. The wife denies these claims, asserting that the relationship was built on mutual respect and that the husband’s accusations are emotionally manipulative. Both partners express stress and a lack of emotional safety, with the wife often feeling like a scapegoat and the husband exhibiting control issues and an inability to manage conflict constructively. The conversation highlights a broader issue in relationships: when trust and autonomy are eroded, even minor frustrations can spiral into large-scale conflict. Financial independence, emotional accountability, and open communication are repeatedly emphasized as necessary for a healthier dynamic. A recurring theme is the imbalance of power—where the husband, despite past support, now exerts control, while the wife feels silenced and disrespected. Ultimately, the relationship struggles to balance personal needs with shared responsibilities, making it difficult to maintain a stable, respectful, and healthy partnership.
- My concern is I'm especially with people like you that get so heated. Does that ever get physical? - I cleaned up dinner a little bit early and he flipped the plate off the table and the food went everywhere. - What's wrong with you? - I don't remember what I said after that but I was like you're always (beep) nasty. I remember telling him he was nasty and then he was like you want to see nasty. - That's insane. How many times have you been arrested? - My help me? - Yeah. - His whole life, urgency. - He says the first pregnancy is the only reason you guys stay together. - The reason that he's going so hard on this is because after I had the baby, he was texting his ex girlfriend that his soul will forever be forever. - And you had your first kid? - After I had my daughter, she was seven months old. - Dollar wise is finally here, sending waves to the personal finance world. This is officially now the best bushing app on the market and I'm giving you a special deal to download. Get a free trial to test it out. And then you get the monthly plan at a 33% discount for the first three months for the annual plan at an insane discount. And most people sign up for the annual version 'cause this saves a lot of money and you get my detailed 30 day meal plan signed by me, mailed directly to you plus the digital version of my cookbook for each recipe. Don't miss the opportunity of a lifetime. Download Dollar wise and start your free trial. Go to dollarwise.com or click the link below. I want you to be on the next episode of financial audit right here in Austin, Texas. If you think you have interesting finances with an interesting personality or a story or a life or relationship, I will personally pay you to take time off of work. Apply you down to Austin, get you personal transportation, a hotel, food, and we'll have a great time hanging out. Go to katelapamber.com/apply or click that link in the description below. - Okay, well, I'm here with my spouse. He applied and he's got a lot to say apparently. So, I'm, what? - Kick off the show. - What do I say, financial audit? - The thing we just practiced. - Oh, I thought that was it. I thought we got it. - I said we were practicing. - Okay, so I'll start it over then. Start now. - Start now. - Hi, my name is Robin, I'm 34 years old. - Hi, I'm Marshall, I'm also 34 years old and we're from the Casco Mountains, New York. - And this is financial audit. - Well, now I'm starting to agree with the little thing. That was kind of put the, I sometimes know the hook and that's really it when I go in and it says, "My wife is ungrateful as can does her respect me." Well, I think throwing the word, well, we're at it. - Okay. - Because I've never experienced that in four and a half years of filming this show. - Well, this is my first podcast, so. - It's everyone's first podcast that comes on this show. - Yeah. - Three a week. - They all perfectly. - They didn't do that. They understand what I meant when I say, "Let's practice and then kick it off." - Okay. - Well, I didn't understand. - But she's also ungrateful. Who doesn't respect me according to you? - No. - According to you, according to your application notes, it's usually what kicks it off. - Yeah, it doesn't really listen to me too much. It does a lot of back talking and doesn't allow me to. - Sorry, I'm a human being who has an opinion and voice. But go on. - There you go. Doesn't know how to take no foreign answer, on certain things. - That's not good. - Men did that. You'd say, "Okay, so what?" So she doesn't really know how to say no to kind of anything. It's a lot of the little-- - I say no to a lot of things. That's why I say yes to some of the things that I want, because I'm constantly being told no and I don't even manage my own finances. As soon as I had my first child, he completely took over the finances. He gives me money for groceries, asks me the exact amount. I have to make sure I don't go over, which is understandable for a budget, but I don't even have any money in my account for when I need to go get myself a pad or my son diapers. I have to run it by him, text him, wait for him to text me back, and send me the money. So when I do have money, I allow myself certain privileges as you do whatever you want going into the city and being a comedian and making yourself famous, so. - Are you famous? Not yet. - He certainly wants to be. - But when she says, when she says, "Toke over the finances," what she really means is I let her quit her job, not work anymore, be a stay-at-home mom like she said, and I work. - And that means I can't have any money to myself and do anything outside of being a mother and wife. Part of being a stay-at-home mom, I'm not working as yet. The money doesn't come into your account. - Right, but you can do whatever you want just because you're a provider. - I don't do everything that I want. I definitely don't. - No, you don't. - No. - What don't you do? - Not listening to you at home wouldn't say that much. - And he wants to go into the city and do comedy and stay out till five in the morning, he goes. Anytime he wants to go, to catch a movie with a friend, he goes. Anytime he needs a little something and wants to go to Home Depot, he goes. When I need a little something or just want a break because I'm a human being and it's natural for your brain chemistry to compute being alone. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I have to give a reason, I have to ask permission and then a lot of the times it's rushed. - Okay, so I think I might be on your side from that below me, put in the fact is when he goes out and stuff, you just say okay. - Yeah, because I'm not going to control him. - When you want things, that's the ask question. So I mean, you're just being kind of nice and that obviously you're approaching this in a different way, right? - Yeah, why would I force someone to do something I know they don't want to do? I know he doesn't want to sit around. - I know he wants to do. - Taking care of kids and stuff is important, doing work is important. You can say, well, no, we got to do this. Why are we doing this? I'm not saying control people, but. - Well, when we first got together, she told me she wants two things. She wants to be a stay-at-home mom. She wants to not work. She wants to be a mother. She's born to be a mother. So I made her a mother, a happy mother of two or three. She doesn't have to work. And then that's what you want? You don't have to come and it pays down, huh? - Of course, that's what I want. - No, no, come on. - Before you, if he's a city. - About 90 minutes. - Yeah. - Okay. - You know the failed comedian Noah Chrysler? Say it again, you know the failed comedian Noah Chrysler? - No. - Oh, probably because he's the failed comedian. Yeah, that makes sense. Okay. - I agree with this lifestyle. I let the man lead. I don't mind that, but that doesn't mean I have absolutely nothing to myself. I didn't agree. - Well see, agreement you guys made. Is there an agreement? - You can change it. - You can raise our children until they're school age and then I'm a preschool teacher. How many kids? - My daughter is six and my son is one and I'm pregnant with my third. And I agreed to no. - No. - Well, 'cause you're usually financial out of guess or fact. - Yeah, that was my problem. I'm coming in looking like Danny DeVito and that's not normally how I look. So anyway, I agreed to that life because I have a traditional value. Yes, more power to the women at work, that's fine. But I prefer to raise my children rather than a stranger. - I don't care. - But I didn't agree to having to ask permission at almost 35 years old what I can, can I have money for something I need? - So when you ask for permission and he does the permission dance or something, why don't you sit there and advocate for yourself and say, "I have." - Then what happens? - He says, "I have to have money in my account." - Bad financial problem. - No, no, I don't spend that much and you have all the information. I don't, $100, $200, $300 here and there. - No, you don't spend that much with what he gives you if you went full out. He seems to be adjusting, you would go crazy. - Well, I mean, that's his opinion. But for me, going to the dollar tree or five below or getting myself a coffee when I go out for diapers does not constitute as someone who cannot manage money and cannot have money in their account. - Oh, when it happens up every single day, a hundred percent. - And what do you purchase aside from cars? - That's it. - That used to be a hobby, of course. - That's insane, that's the reason. - You used to have a hobby of purchasing vehicle. - No, I might be on your side in terms of the money and the allowance and all this weird stuff going on. I hate that kind of shit. But the thing is, I'm just trying to get the full perspective here. What is your fear? Do you have evidence based on this fear? - Fear of what? - If she's able to just spend money without you- - If I haven't allotted them out. Like if you add of your check, give me 400 for my account a month to spend on groceries and whatever else I may need. - We've already come up with what happened. - That kind of thing and what happens is she spends that and then asks for more. So it's a never ending- - Yeah, because groceries, a hundred dollars a month for groceries for our entire family. - It's not a hundred dollars a month. - No, no, no, that's insane. A hundred dollars a month, that's crazy. That's crazy. - Yes, that's what I'm saying. You want me to spend, if you give me $400 in a month, you want me to spend only a hundred dollars of that on groceries and then the rest is gas. - No, no. - The diapers, wipes- - No, that's outside of our grocery bills. - So I'm asking for money in my account so that I can go grocery shopping without asking you for money and having to make sure that there's enough in my account from what you gave me when you freely have the money to spend. If you need a frickin' new charging wire, if you need to go to Home Depot, if you need this or the other thing, you just do it, like an adult. And just because I stay home with the kids doesn't mean I'm not an adult. - But if you want me to be so responsible for the money, then you gotta just listen to my guidance. - Right, but that doesn't mean I get none of it. I'm an adult and a contributor to this family. - I get a job. - I've had a job before. - If you wanted to get a job, what's the agreement? - I don't want children to be with a stranger at a daycare all day. - Hold on, what's wrong with it? There's nothing wrong with going to a daycare and having interactions with kids. - But yeah, but I don't want someone else raising my children. I had them. - Would it be raising? I mean, okay. - Yes, it's eight to 12 hours a day. - 12. - Who knows? - Okay, what? - What a job am I getting? - She wants both worlds. She wants to be a stay-at-home mom, but also have a full-- - That's really breaking the bank. - She wants you to have-- - Other than if I gave you $400, it'd be gone before we got back to the hotel. - No, it wouldn't. Maybe on vacation, but at home, I would spend it on groceries, diapers, and gas. Instead of asking, "Hey, tank is low, need $20." - Yeah, and then I would just have $10, $20. - You put $10 in and then you spend the other $10 on something. Yes, you do. - Yes, you do. - That's absolutely preposterous. - You have her.
- Do you have anything to pay your money? - You've got to buy, so she does 10 on the kids 10 on herself? - No. - Say she asked for gas money, I'll buy it. All right, here's 40, she'll spend like 20 on gas and then 20 on all this stuff and then-- - No, because she's-- - Asked me again, "Hey, my gas is low." - And I'm out for gas. So if I don't put 20 in, you can clearly see that the tank is not put 20 dollars. Why would I put 10 in so you could see that I barely put any in? - What is your view on her simple pleasures thing? 'Cause I mean, what she's asking for-- - Simple pleasures. - No, I'm reasonable, but like, again, I don't really care what couples dynamics are in terms of what they have chosen in a green too. You guys making kids, you're obviously in this for long term. - What happens is it turns into a little bit every single day, yeah, you're right. It's not purchasing a car, it's not going out into shopping, you know, $2,000, $5,000 shopping sprees, but it's $50 here, $20 here, and then at the end of the month, you're like, "Oh shit, it's $1,500 that I threw to you for." - When he was making more money and we were in a more stable financial situation, I would spend, we would spend. - That's the thing, I used to not allow. - Now it's stuck in his head that I'll always do that. For him, I can never change or evolve. So he stays where things were. Obviously, if we only have this much, I won't spend this much, I'm gonna spend this much, but he doesn't trust to do that, because he's, I think, a little bit of a control freak. - I'm glad you brought that up, because that's what you're used to. You used to, when I was bringing in a lot more money, every time we went to the store and you wanted to grab this and grab this and it was $2,500, it was fine. But we're not in the same position as we were then, so when I have to tell you no 100 times that we're in, just, I lost a bit of my income about two months ago. - Why? - I got fired from my job. - Why? - Customer complaints. Well, customer complaints. - Well, customer complaints. - Okay, well that could be it, what was your job? - I was selling RVs. - What complaint do you get selling RVs? - The dude had claimed that I posted about him on Instagram. - What did you post? - I didn't post anything. - I'm like, oh, what was his claim? - He claimed that I posted his phone number and told everybody to harass him. - Why would he claim this? - You know, he was an angry old drunk guy. - You know, he just. - Apparently somebody he knew told him that that happened. - Yeah. - Did he get text from Cole? - He did not send photos or any proof to the business. He just said, a buddy of mine told me that this happened. - Me and this customer got to a pretty heated argument over the work text message program before this complaint. But if you want the real story, I actually told my job on August 13th, I was going on paid family medical leave and then magically between the 13th and the 20th, I got this complaint and I was fine. - Why were you going on paid family medical leave? - For the baby. - In August? She's pregnant, though. - Well, I let them know in August. - No, they told them in August. - So August 13th, I sent them a email. - Yeah, you live in lawsuit central, the state of New York. You can do anything. Why don't you sue them? You can sue them for anything and get a check because it's cheaper to settle than go through the court. - Oh, that's open, yeah. - Yeah, open. I mean, it's not necessarily a good thing that we've done that as a society. - Oh, no, I've sued quite a few people. - Exactly. - Yeah, I own a small business, and I've got-- - Yeah, and you will get sued. You small business owners. Well, and you'll have to cut those checks. Because again, it's more expensive to go through a lawsuit than just cut a quick check. - Yep. - But, yeah, that's good. But either way, what are you doing for money then? - So I still have the cleaning company. - That's your small business. - Yeah, yeah, that's it. - Clearly it wasn't an enough 'cause you had a day job selling RVs. - It's enough for the most part. - But you had a day job selling RVs. - Health insurance benefits. - After we bought the house last year. - So is that making it enough to pay for a health insurance then? - Not a New York state. - Not anymore. - They want $400 a month. - Uh-huh. - For just a few hours. - If his business can't make $400 a month, I'm deeply concerned about the cleaning. What do you do? - What do you clean? - We do commercial cleaning, like a bank's-- - Who's who? - Hard to use ships. It's mainly me, but I have a couple contractors that I contract out to as far as I'm concerned. - Hey. - Right now, per month, I'm making like 7,300. - Okay, but a little bit of supplies and stuff. Not too much. Not too much. I make all my clients kind of supply their own stuff. I do buy my own stuff to kind of keep it easier when I need. - It's not horrible, but I don't think in New York state. I mean, I know you're not in the city, but you're up in, I'm still assuming a relatively decent cost of living area. That plus the taxes you need to set aside and all that good stuff, which I doubt you do 'cause no one does in the history of the show. - No. - Okay, well, exactly. So if you did 5,000 hours a month for a family of four plus one coming on the way, you can't afford that life. You can't do that on 5,000. - No, no. - Or even the 75,000. - You can. - And just to touch base now that we're talking about that, I did help him build the business that he's in. So even for him to say that he can't trust me with a finance, you trusted me to do the work with you. In the beginning of the business, you used my vehicle, which I paid for because I worked. Then I got pregnant and still helped you. And a week before we came here, I helped you every day. Pregnant, bending down, cleaning toilets. - Yeah, but that's not asked. To have the time you asked to come. - Yes, because I want to help you because you're fricking tired. - So don't complain about the stuff that you offer. - I'm not complaining. I'm setting a point. - It sounds like a point. - The point is that if you're gonna sit there and say you can't shuffle out 400 because you don't trust me with the money but you trust me to do the work with you. A job that I helped build. - I don't really care about you volunteering for the work, but I agree. You guys have a weird dynamic who's money. I'll definitely agree with that. Okay, are you saying you helped so much build the company that you're like an owner? - I consider that whenever he needs me, I'd be in it for him. So I don't consider myself an owner because that's his business. - When I need that helping hands, you can do that for a family. She definitely comes and helps when I need that helping hands. - If I help with as much help as I do, I'm not just sitting around being a stay-at-home mom, like soaking up the money. I'm doing my part. It's best time. - If you guys are really only making $7,500 and you sat aside proper amount of money for taxes and all that good stuff, especially in a stay like New York. - Fuck you like being back. - You really don't have money to spend. - Yeah, this is the least amount that the company's made as I started it. - What? Why? - It's a cleaning business. It fluctuates people. - Yeah, it fluctuates. - It's not really contractual. - It literally is. I'm on it. - No, I've had it. - Not everybody's trying to contract to do more. - It's my biggest client. I've yet to sign a contract. - It's difficult to get business out. - One of my biggest because people don't want to come in. - The average cleaning client stays like three to five years. My oldest client just left after I had him since 2019. - Is it you because you just got fired from a job and now it's your loss income month even though you have more time. What the fuck? - No, I just, I think it just became, 'cause I was, had so much good amount coming in, I wasn't actively trying to get more jobs. So as they started to fall off, I didn't have anything set up. - We should actively try to get more. Like I know that it's like a teeter of a business, but rather than just wondering if they're gonna stay, why don't we just do little things here and there? - Well, that's why I switched it to the day job. - Because I was like, you know what, it's a lot of work to kind of have the fluctuation lose a client, get a client up and down. So that's why I was like, you know what? Maybe I'll start transitioning into a more of a day job, haven't had a day job in a long time. - Two day job. - Are you gonna be? - Well, he had the job. - I mean, where are you going back to? I've been laid off for a while, spent a couple of months. - It's been a month and a half. I've applied to plenty of places. I'm taking civil service exams, thinking about going back into the day. - Why are you wasting your time doing comedies that are going to work in at the fries? Put the fries in the bag, make these. - Because the money's just not worth the ton of away from the family. - It literally is. It is time that you put there four money so you can pay bills. If she needs money to get groceries, she can't even get that money to get groceries. It is worth the ton. - She says she needs to help more than me being away for the eight hours a day to only bring in a couple hundred bucks a week. - Also, when you were working-- - If it was eight hours a day and all night, it was sometimes difficult to be around you because you were so stressed out. And I'm sure you look at that and there's a bunch of issues and everything. But for most of the time, we weren't that much different than most of America. And it would be like, we couldn't get past the budget and you couldn't get past things. It's like, all right, so then we'll cut things out, we'll sell whatever car. Well, what do we got to do? And like, there was no solution for it. And now that you're not working all day and all night, you're much easier to be around. And that's what the fact is. - Control yourself. If you're going to be the worker and you chose to do this, I'm going to be the breadwinner. You're going to be a stay-at-home mother. If you chose to do that, you can't be a piece of shit coming home because you worked hard for the agreement you chose. - Well, it's hard to come home to not a nice person sometimes. - Oh, like, you didn't say that, yeah. - Are you stressed? - Personally, I personally-- - Garrett, do kids. What are you stressed about? - I'm stressed out about his attitude when he comes home. - Okay, so you're both stressed about each other when you come home. - Yeah, also, I don't think that I'm a-- I've, I feel like if I mentioned one thing to him, he flies off the handle like taco night. - Like what? - What if I'm wrong with you? - Yeah, that's insane. - What is that? I've never done that. - It's a buildup. It's like, you're always, you're so inconsiderate when you do. So we're all eating dinner, me, my, my daughter and her. She's done, so she just gets up and starts cleaning and just is so ignorant that everyone else is still eating. - He was on his phone and the plate was off to the side and I couldn't-- - With my food on it and my hands dirty with tacos. - It was like, I'm gonna be eating tacos. - It was a disheveled plate that looked finished. - It's tacos. - I did the dishes first. I packed the food, left it on the table, looked over a couple times, I thought he was done. So I went to throw the plate away. Oh no, he turned around and saw that I was cleaning the food and said, I'm not done. And then I don't remember what I said.
because that was so taken back. - Of course it was a fuckin' ass everywhere. - It wasn't a great one. - It was something about him being nasty all the time because whenever he's on his computer and something's wrong, he'll take it out on me and be nasty. - That's so easy. - Because I'm an easy target. - Yeah, well he gets fushed in a very easy and trust me, I've been that way before too, I understand, but I recognize that and I try to take a step back and then what that turned me into is a pussy because now I have to sit there and be talk to a certain way. And if I defend myself, it turns into a huge thing. - So what did you do? He said-- - What did I do? When he flipped the plate, I cried and cleaned up the food. - No, no, he said, "I'm not done," and you said-- - I said, "All right, well, it looks like you're done." And then he just goes-- - And then he just goes-- - I don't remember what I said after that, but I was like, "You're always f**king nasty." I remember telling him he was nasty and then he was like, "You want to see nasty?" And I flipped a plate. - That's insane. What kind of flip plate was it? Or was it-- - He just flipped it like that. - That's crazy, in front of your f**king kids? - No, but in front of your kids, they were in there. - Okay, in front of her, you're flipping plates? - Yeah, yeah. I'll get in an argument with my girl here and there I've never flipped a plate. - It was-- - It was a throw, it was a thing. - It was a favor plate, so there's no smashing going on. Like, I'm-- - I'm logically-- - I'm logically reading. - Okay, I'm logically-- - It's the point of that. - It's the point of that. - That's not a logic game. - You had to make a point. You had to make a point. And if you got to make a little mess to make a point, you fight in front of the kids? - No. - No. - No, no. I'm literally being told, you fight in front of the kids all the time. So what have you said that in your brain every when my daughter was younger the first year or two or a half or so, we fought a little much in front of her, which we definitely adjusted since then because we learned that it's not too good because we came from pretty, our parents would fight some times and we didn't like it. But yeah, we try to keep the kids out of it, but there she's at the same home. - I don't engage in front of my kids. Even if I'm upset, I'll just shut down and not engage if the kids are around. - And the kids are also always around, so it's kind of hard to even talk about certain things without getting to that point. So a lot of times we're just shoving things to the side because the kids are around and then we never get to it. So what feel is fighting? - Actually, not that much anymore. - Not that much lately, not too much. - What's that to you? - He since we got up here the last year, but we've been together for seven years. - I remember some of the big arguments in the last year. - Yeah, we got into a pretty bad one about two weeks ago. - Literally, why don't you tell Devon you fight every day? That is an exact quote from you that you fight everything. - I don't know why he said that. - Things he said. - Yes, suck with money. So you download a budgeting app. - You start with the classic one, why not? But everyone just elites it because it's way too complicated to use. So you go to every dollar. That's Dave Ramsey, the personal finance guy, right? Well, they're gonna force you to use it his way. That's not very personal finances. Rock and money that you got a lot of commercials, but they're owned by Rocket Mortgage. Guess what they want to sell you in the end. Then there's the new guy on the block, Monarch. Hundreds and millions of dollars to private equity raising so far. But private equity doesn't have the best track record when it comes to private data. That's why I like dollar-wise. Bills play these people just like you, four people just like you. No private equity, no gimmicks, just the best budgeting app there is. Download and I'll start the free trial, dollarwise.com, link in the description below. - Guys, you've known me since the beginning and the fact is I just love building products that help people and we're continuing to do that with the Caleb Hammer Financial Services. Listen, now you got personal loans that you can get the best rates on forever. You want to use it for whether it's consolidation after you change your behavior or you need a purchase something that gets a good return on investment. And now we got credit building as well. You can shop for the best credit builders that are either free or low cost to you and build that credit. We got debt forgiveness and debt consolidation as well. We got auto loans for your new card that are great rates or you can refinance a horrible auto loan today. Get on only that. Now you can shop for the best car insurance out there. The thing is, we are building more and more of these to help you get the best tools and services that you can possibly get online at the best rates. So check those out at Calebhammer.com. All those links are below in the Caleb Hammer Financial Services. Check them out. Save yourself a lot of money. - So big arguments and this type of, this is like a fighting kind of. - I think he means he gets annoyed every day. - So is the way. - So is the way. A fight to me is the way you speak to somebody. And the way you speak to somebody is always in an aggressive, rude, disrespectful way. And to me, it's like. - I don't think I talk aggressive the route out of the house. If he's a play flipper, does he ever just leave? - Yeah, he leaves. - Okay, when's the last time you left? - Uh, like what? Two weeks ago, our daughter didn't want to sleep in her bed. - Oh, we don't fight, you left two weeks ago. - There was no fight, he just left. Because. - What? - What do you do? Why? - 'Cause she gets to a point where if I either have to react rudely or just sit there and take the beating. So I just don't do either and I leave. - See, this is where it becomes like fuzzy because. - No, it's not fuzzy. - He considers me talking back to him as argumentative and rude. And if you're gonna say something to me and insult me and who I am, then I'm gonna give you back your same energy. And you can't handle it. - Hold on, hold on, hold on. Any telling her anything she does is wrong? - No. - Or how do you say it? - No, because. - You're most recent example, what did you say? - I was with my daughter. She was giving a real attitude. I said, "Hey, can you, you gotta come and handle this because she's taking after you. This is how you created her to have this attitude. You gotta come and deal with it when she has this attitude." - It's not children give attitude. Children do something. - I don't think she's gonna take that. I mean, be reasonable. What do you think she's gonna take that? Hey, our daughter's like, 'cause you're like, "Why is that?" - She does plenty of things. - It's not it's the truth. - How do you expect her to take that before she's gonna be? - And also for a long time, he wasn't around all day and all night. So it's like, don't come in here and try to point fingers in my operation. This is my house. So you don't know what she deals with on the day and in day out. You don't know what I deal with. So you see a bit of her attitude and you wanna blame somebody. But it's like, you don't know what's going on. And then you wanna insult me and make it about me because you don't know how to handle her. So I'm always the scapegoat. - So how'd she react when you said that? - She lost it on me. - I know I didn't. I told you, I don't even remember sometimes because I literally black out 'cause I know that he's gonna overreact. So how does she say that she doesn't? - Because I remember how I feel. I remember how you make the room for you. - Yeah, you were angry. You're always angry. You're always angry. - No, no, I'm not. - You're always angry. - Because you get angrier. So in order to keep-- - How does that escalate? Where does that go? - If I talk back too much, like this, I feel like if this happened at home, it would be a way bigger argument and way crazier. - How? What would it look like? - Because he would get more angry that I'm not just agreeing with him. - Well, what would it look like? - Probably a name call and storming out. - Maybe I'd usually try to leave. 'Cause I don't want it to escalate to that point. But a lot of times she won't let me leave or she'll-- - That was back in the day. I used to prevent him 'cause I wanted self-propelled. - She'll like want to sit there and fight. - And then be like, why did I get to this point? - Then I realized that I wasn't gonna get what I needed out of him and it's better to let him leave because it gets worse. - What did you need out of me or a fight? - To sit down and calm down and talk to me. - You can't fight somebody to agree with you right away. You want me to agree with you blindly and mindlessly. And that's just something I want to do. - At the end of the day, she-- - I'll let you lead and I'll follow you anywhere but I'm not gonna mindlessly walk around like a drone like that's just not gonna happen. - She likes to lash out, be mean, and then expect you to be the comforting. Like, all right, let's figure this out now. It's like you can't just pet the dog that bit you. That's not how life works. - And let me ask you this. Out of all the years we've been together and how bad things were before, you don't see any adjustment in my behaviors and how I sleep. - You can't hide it anymore. - Yeah, you're 100% you have, but I'll be honest. The last, since I've been home from work after I get fired, I've seen that you're getting back into that. The short time you know what? - You leave your shoes in the middle of everything for someone to flip over. I could barely see over my stomach. You don't throw your plates away. You leave your socks everywhere. - Listen to these little things. - They're little things that are done every day multiple times a day. And it's like, listen, it's my job to take care of the house. I did this, I want this, I enjoy it. But sometimes it feels like blatant view where you just, you leave a door. The whole door to the house open. We have animals and children. It's like the mind which you'll do it is like - I'm going inside to grab something. - She has no patience. - It doesn't matter. Our son is walking around. - Listen, listen, listen, listen. Hold on, hold on. For example, if I'm working outside and I come in, pour myself a glass of water, put on a table, go back outside to do something, come back in and grab my water. Water's gone, pour it out. - It's a different table because it causes water marks on the table that he paid for, that he will complain about. - I can't do something for five minutes without her moving it. I lose things all the time because I've got for better, put my sunglasses down or my keys down or my shoes down. - He wants the table to be his office. He puts all this important paperwork on our kitchen table where I have two children that eats spaghetti. And this is supposed to be your-- - You want to clean up all day when-- - Yeah, because the house needs to be clean so that I can deal with the kids and let them make a mess and clean up after that. - No, while people are doing stuff though, that doesn't make any sense. - I understand, I let you, I let it out. - It's like if right now you're-- - I can't taste at a time. But you can't leave your important paperwork on the table for this isn't just your house. - Imagine right now your people came over like we're just gonna straighten up the table in the middle of this. You're gonna be like what, no, wait till the end. - No, what I would do is when this was over and if there was a bunch of food and shit here, I'd clean it up. - But you don't do it when it's over. That's a problem. - To the next guest comes so they can smell tacos. - When we first, the first couple of years we were together, she did this little thing. It seems so little, but she would do it so much. There's been times she's taking the blankets off of me on the couch and be like oh I didn't realize you were using. I swear to God, I swear to God. - I swear, I've been sitting on the couch while she was moving and you're cleaning up the living room and you took the blanket off me and started folding and I'm like what are you doing? Oh I didn't realize you were using it. I was like it's on me. It's on my body. - I don't agree with that at all. - I will never forget that because-- - It's a funny concept, not-- - No, no I will never, you think I could just make that up. You think that's-- - Okay and you walking in the hallway look like you disappear out of your shoes. There's new shoes.
We have how many of you guys been together six years seven six seven. We've been married. We are not even married What the fuck calling you been engaged three years. Why are we not finished house? We bought a house instead of winning so we got engaged. It was the middle of COVID and nothing was open Go to the court. That's what I said. He wants a wedding Get it. Go. Well get the legal protection and then do a ceremony when he can afford it. That's that's what I said and then what does what she said well Things things happen to kind of stop it. So first we when we first got engaged COVID was happening So there was nothing even open to go look at venues and by the time we got the money We decided we were gonna buy a house instead and then once we moved into our house unfortunately her her dad did get sick So yeah, I passed away in May. So that kind of happened over the last year. So everything else was kind of put to the side But our plan is to still get married weeks consider ourselves married Yeah, it's not official Because hey, oh listen, I don't think the finances are probably adding an extra stress on top of it Yeah, if she's ramping back up It's probably because of that and she feels like you don't get any money But you don't make any money you're not even setting aside money like you need to know you say you're applying for jobs Yeah, well did you graduate or something? Do you have a degree? What were you studying? I was a teacher for a while I have my BBA do that again. That's what I'm thinking about going back But the money it's it's not it's not that great money. Honestly. It's better than what you're doing Yeah, you know, like any money is good money. You get benefits and shit. Yeah, so I'm thinking about going back in the teacher Why is running out of your time doing this comedy shit though instead of working? You got to put food on the day granted He has not done it as much, but it used to be a lot like Reality is I cut back when needed okay, but the reality is dude You're like I can't work because I need to spend more time at home But if you're going out and doing comedy you're already not doing that in the first place Well, this is comedy thing you're trying to do. I've been doing stainless comedy for like two and a half years now What are you trying to do? Do you make money? No not really then why are we spending time on that? Well that's Sposure, you're exposed. I mean just like I'm sure your your podcast wasn't making money. We first started it was the first day first day No, but I had a business plan you've been doing it for two and a half years Yeah, well, I was running a you know living life and running a business outside of it No, you're spending time doing the comedy. Are you good at comedy? I'm very good Yeah, then why aren't you getting money? I don't have the time and exposure to get what this is it yet You want to put me on a comedy show and pay me. I'll do it Not paid, but on the comedy show sure done ladies and gentlemen Welcome to the stage for two and a half minutes Marshall warm welcome, please Thank you. Thank you everybody. Thank you. I recently got kicked out of a Denny's Proud to say a K the waffle house for white people, you know I'm sure you guys seen those videos. It's where it goes down for us is The Denny's you want a peaceful breakfast? You take your ass over to the Perkins, all right? You want the Grand Slam come to Denny's But now I got kicked out of Denny's for getting to a pretty intense argument with the waitress She refused to give my elderly grandfather the military veterans discount Can't believe that stupid bitch wouldn't give him the discount. We did everything we could to prove that he was in fact a Nazi She was like sir sir. That's not really how it works I was like I had to show her the advertisement I was like it doesn't say country specific it just says military veterans discount She's looking at the ad like oh shit I think you're kind of right and then like two boofs down you see like old Japanese do start popping up That's a war or two joke for you guys No, and then my grandfather started eyeballing the Japanese dude and I'm like yo grandpa What do you what are you staring at he goes you see that in cockroach over there like yo, who grandpa? You can't call people names like that. He goes nah, you see that cockroach crawling by that fucking over there Like oh shit grandpa That's a bad word it's a bad word right shouldn't be saying bad words But there's some bad words out there that are bad words without kind of being bad words, you know You don't really want to be associated with them words like allegedly You know, it's not a bad word, but You don't want to be allegedly anything right nobody's ever allegedly a millionaire allegedly. He owns the Body shop down the street My grandfather was allegedly a Nazi Allegedly, that's that Oh, I'm not a comedian. I'm not a judge of comedian. I don't know if that's a Full-time thing based on that was it you did get chuckles in the first minute or so I'll be honest your kids were being obnoxious So I didn't hear what the that joke was because I was distracted by noise control and of course when I got the lock-in after that There were no more laughs We're not trying to make that we're not come like you got to pay your bills man I'll pay in the bills a little bit. Oh, yeah, I'm paying a bill Supposed to go that's how it's supposed to go you got to pay the bills all the way if that's the agreement you two made I mean yes to do that is a hobby and passion if you can make ends meet right yeah, it doesn't took off Well, listen a lot of the comedians when they go out there. Austin's a big comedy city, but a lot of them are single or they're dating Yeah, that's enough. They don't have Three kids to take care of you don't get to put the entire family on layaway You don't that's not how this works. So I mean do it as a fine But only if you can pay your bills. No that mean that wasn't that wasn't that wasn't like you make a career for me I don't mind him doing it as long as he doesn't comment on the small joys that I have well he does cuz guess what? He has no money for it cuz he makes no money So let's change that so yeah I know financial on it. Well, I want it. Yeah, it's exactly and I want to know So obviously when it comes down to your relationship and providing money what's the trust in the relationship currently so in the in the beginning We had our had our problems obviously of distrust I didn't trust her cuz okay staying involved in her ex a little more than I would have been happy with that mean There's some overlap I feel like no there was no overlap I was we had been seeing each other for a month and my ex texted my phone and he saw it and Then from there it spiraled then we went to a Halloween party and He was uncomfortable with my ex being there. He was making it difficult for me at the time He was a new guy. I was seeing ex being there isn't her fault, right? It was a new guy that is your Halloween party. No, it was okay That's not no, it was the but she brought me to like his No, I hung out in that town. I brought him to a place that I hung out with with my friends He ended up being there. He left and made a big stink about it because it was so new and I didn't really know his personality yet I was like this guy and then From that point on he just didn't trust that I wasn't still involved with my ex. Well, maybe he literally told Devon I'm being told that you hooked up with your ex while you two lived together. No, that never happened How are you saying that so confidently? Why is that what you were telling the production? It was before we lived together I started seeing that what you said, but it was when we were dead. No, I never hooked up with him Especially when we lived together He was a dead issue, but he brought him up so many times It was a problem. He was a problem without even being a problem I didn't even think about the guy and he was getting on September 1st. Halloween is almost two months later We were dating for two months. Okay And then seriously and you after I looked through your phone, you were talking to your ex the entire time Sending you photos and you were telling her you love your entire relationship is built on a lack of trust How are we gonna have any kind of justice this way anyway? You were doing the exact same thing you were accusing her of doing Why the People weren't even your ex. There was just that You were telling people you love them. I Do love her. I do love her Other people. Oh, other people. Oh, no, no, you were saying that in the text that she saw and you were calling one of the girls babe You know what? We both we both got together Well, you can't even admit to the truth now. Why would she trust you? Listen, we were we were we were both talking to our exes when we first got together That's that's a fact but there's a big difference Hold on. There's a big difference. We were we were both still involved in our ex when we first started dating The difference is my ex lived in another state hers lived down the road But that didn't stop you so her so her so my ex texted me once in a while while I'm still kind of just dating this new girl who who I there's not even a chance in hell I could touch or see or ever do anything with versus the guy down the road Haxson you to hang out. That's a big difference Personally the way that I behaved with you, especially after we had our daughter I'm surprised that you even thought that I had any interest Seeing where I come from seeing my background seeing how loyal but I knew that about it before that So that's why the let down was so much because I only started dating you because I knew you weren't that girl Then you became that girl to get along with when we first got together You were kind of controlling you were kind of accused of not now and accusatory I wasn't sure where it was going to go. So I did a wild girl Contacting me. Why would you get a wild girl if you want to have someone submissive? I wasn't any more wild than a girl in her 20s. I didn't sleep around. I wasn't getting pregnant left and right I had people that I was attached to I was an attractive young girl running around a Town that had a lake and bars on the lake like I wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary But you wanted me to be obsessed with you like all your other girls I wasn't no. I wanted her to be
Obsessed with me, the way she was, obsessed with her ex. I knew that was not what was going on. I wasn't obsessed with him. I had a connection with him because there was a lot of time spent together. I'm a monogamous person at heart. It was difficult for me to transition, but something about you was worth more money. Okay, so what did you do with you? Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I did nothing with you. Why don't you tell Mr. Caleb how you got with that ex? I had a boyfriend that, how long were you with him? We were with each other for like seven years. Okay. He went to jail for selling drugs and it went for a long time and it was difficult for us. You've been jailed too, son. It was difficult for us to keep, you know, I was 24. The connection fizzled. While he was in jail, yeah. And then out of nowhere, a close friend of ours. Nowhere, they're best friend. Out of nowhere, he's hanging out. He's been hanging out with them for seven years every day. It was and prior to that, there was never any connection or anything like that. After hanging out as friends and being around each other in a drinking environment, there became feelings involved and then we did obviously there for seven years. I understand why the ex you nervous. They were not there. They were not there until I just couldn't say that. You can't say that, though. I can't say that. You can't say that. I don't care about her previous relationship. I mean, it's someone who's not here, blah, blah, blah. But the thing is, I understand why you would make you concern. Here's where my concern was. I knew, I knew how that was happening. I know you did something. We have that you kissed your ex. Well, you guys were together. No, I didn't. What? Yes, we have. And then you admitted, I may as well have screwed him. Is the direct quote you got to do when I left the Halloween party. She went home with him. I said, you said you're extremely intoxicated and you kissed him. I did not kiss him. He was, he was extremely intoxicated. She let's kiss him and stay in Addis house, but denies having sex. We fell asleep. What is this information? I woke up at six in the morning and drove to his house because I was so, like, why did I even think that it was cool for me to continue on with this guy? This is literally a direct note that we have from our casting producer. No, I didn't kiss him or some of him. Hold on, now I'm having an experience. No, listen, we're going to, we're going to hold on. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. We're going to put this out there since we're going down that road. Since we, I didn't know we were going to go this far down. The base of our problems and our relationships stems from that incident. From kissing him, from, it was more than that. Listen, we, we started, what was more than that? Tell me, she, she slept with him. No, I didn't. On Halloween, you didn't sleep with him? No, he passed out. This is, I don't believe it. You're not even telling me this. Can I tell you this? Can I tell you this? When, before him and I even got together, our relationship wasn't even that sexual anyway. We literally hung out and ate food in bed. It was, because she was still sleeping with you. That was, no, not you, him. That's why it was so difficult to, like, remove myself from him. Because it was more of a emotional connection that way. It wasn't very sexual right before I got with, I wasn't, I wasn't addicted to him sexually. She, she denied it for months first. She denied it for months. And then she finally came clean. We never had sex. I told you he passed out and you don't believe me to this day. What? He said you told him you had sex. I did not. Who would disagree on that? I understand why you adamantly believe that because two adults drinking and have a history. That's a new, they try to say. No, that's a saying you said you did. How are you saying? How are you saying she told me? She told me she told me. She told you she finally came and told me. She said that you were. No, I told you he passed out. He passed out. I was still awake. Then I drove to your house at six seven in the morning. Does that even make sense, Mr. Hammer? Mr. Hammer. I guess. Yeah. No, no, no. Okay, so all right, all right. So then, all right. So does that make it a. What are we talking about? After we had the baby. I am telling the truth. The reason that he's going so hard on this is because after I had the baby, he was texting his ex-girlfriend that his soul will forever be forever. After I had my daughter, she was seven months old. He was texting his ex-girlfriend that his soul will forever be attached to her. That is crazy, though. He just had your first kiss to me. Because at the time she wasn't sure if it was mine. You want to justify the deep betrayal that you did to me. Even if I did sleep with that guy, you were together for months and we barely hung out. I agree. That is crazy. After the kid texting, that's crazy. In order to justify his betrayal, that he's like, "Well, how do I.?" It's mine. No, I said that when she was pregnant. Just be. Listen, don't run. Don't interrupt. When she was pregnant, because I knew that Halloween night had happened, which we already passed on. I said, "Hold on." Years later. Years later? No. No, it has to be your kid's six. It was 2019. It was the end of 2020. She was a year old when you did that betrayal with your ex. It was 2021. It was October 3rd. The girl texted me everything you've ever said to her. Yeah, you're right. 100%. But listen to this first. You admitted to sleeping with your ex before we had the kid. And then to the point where when I asked you, I was like, "Can we get a paternity test?" You looked me in the eyes and you said, "How dare you. " Wait, wait, you looked me in my eyes and you said, "How dare you?" Ask me that. If you ask me that again, you'll never see this kid wear their clothes together. Because we were, I did not see that. I was concerned. We were living together. And since that moment, we were living together and the guy was blocked off my phone. There was no connection. It doesn't matter. I had the right to ask. You had the right to ask. And I said to you. And you refused. You said, "If you ask me that again, whether she's zero or not, you'll never see your again." We spent together and then after that, it doesn't matter. I haven't touched a woman since we've been together and she's left the hand. You're confessing love though. What you said to her was worse than doing that. So that is the thing. For women, they're more concerned if someone loves someone. I want to be a someone else. You know what's worse? Is being with somebody and looking at a kid and being like, "I'm not 100% sure this kid is mine." How could you look at her? Well, I look at her now six years later. Well, identical. She is saying like, "Well, that's the thing." What is the thing? Don't do a paternity test day at night. Well, that's the reality. She was bringing up the concern that he still has today. That's not when you're pregnant. He's coordinated in the post show to do some Caleb Morian in the post show because it takes, you know, like a week to get. That's fine. We're going to do a paternity test. I'm confident to do this. This will be a lot easier for you. We will see. We're like, this was six years ago. So we're like past that. But I'm not past the fact that you're denying it. That's the worst part. There was no contact for months when I got pregnant with my daughter. I was living with him. There's just literature. I won't even defend myself any further. I'll let the actual, let the results speak for themselves. You know, listen, Caleb. I won't forget the sound of the next morning after that night. Of her boots walking across the floor of my house. And me being like, "Oh, shit. She's in the same outfit from last night. She slept with us." Yeah, because I slept in it. He's saying you literally admitted to me. No, I didn't. And he has that memory. No shit, he's questioning the paternity. That was, in guess what? I know you guys broke up and you only got back together when she was pregnant. No. We were together when I was pregnant. We were not. We never broke up. No, you got back together when pregnant. Justice, make drama. No, no, we were. We did not break up and then I get pregnant. You guys can't do this. I was in COVID. I was food shopping. And it was April Fool's Day when we found out. No. That's how in his head, he creates his own narrative to be right. He does it with everything. But what's the point of him making that up? I'm not being louder and more aggressive. I'm being factual. What would the point be of him to make that up? What would the point be for him to make this to our production? To be right. And right about what? To admit it. Because apparently I said it. Why would he tell all of production that you can turn to begin with? No, no, no, because that doesn't make any sense. You're already invited to be on the show. So when we were having an interview, he said you admitted and that you guys broke up and then got back together when you found out you were pregnant. No. Why don't you ask him about all the dates? So you are the one that said to production to our casting our story producers that you kiss the man. I said, we didn't even kiss. That's not how dry you said. We have the nose. We have the phone call. Okay, that's fine. Baby, they miss her. She'll never admit it. I would admit it. I'm an adult and it was years ago. It just didn't happen. I didn't sleep with him. He was wasted drunk past out. I laid down and slept for a little and I felt honestly very guilty. I did think we were going to sleep together. I did go there with the intention of being around him. Because that didn't happen. You see how this is starting to keep going. I didn't happen. Call him. Oh, he would lie and protect you probably. Probably not. I'll call him in the post. There's no. There's no. There's no connection or anything with him. I don't, we don't speak to him. That was the last time I saw him. There's no go anymore. That's when I saw him. Yeah, when he put a baby in you. No, he did. That was almost a year later that I got pregnant with her. We were together. We're living together. What are your thoughts on all this guy? After that Halloween thing, we did break up. We were not dating anymore. Yes, we did still like talk and hang out once in a while. And then when we found out she was pregnant, it turned out to be an act topic pregnancy. At first it was developing and her fallopian soup. So it was like a medical thing. So the doctor had recommended like a medical abortion for her safety and all that. So she did that, but it didn't happen. The baby then went into the way she went into my uterus. And then developed a beautiful young baby girl. It wasn't enough of the medication. But at the time, we were broken up. We were broken up. How can we just scream? Okay, I guess that I didn't know we were broken up because we were with each other every single day. And I was sleeping over and was cold. So hold on, hold on. How were we not broken up?
up when, um, at that point, but we weren't really dating to be getting like you just said earlier. No, we were very, we were very new, but we after that happened and you taunted me and would not stop bringing it up and you agreed to be together to hang out. When it's convenience for her, we were kind of talking, but when it's convenient for me, we were not broken up. Right before I got pregnant, we were sleeping together a lot. We were, we were together a lot. And according to what you just said 10 minutes ago, that wasn't dating. December and January, that's three months before I got pregnant. That it was just me and you from October on, we were not together. So we didn't see each other every day. Not every day. No. But then we are living in different ways. September 1st, October 30th, we were, we were dating pretty heavy after that night. We fell off and think what you want. Do the paternity test feel stupid on a podcast? I just remember. Okay. Here's the reality. And this is a direct quote to her from him. And I want to know how this makes you feel, Robin. He says the first pregnancy is the only reason you guys stayed together because we were broken up. That's why I said that is because we were legit not dating. She called me, I remember. She called me crying and saying, hey, I'm pregnant and we, I was in my bed alone from your house. And I went to the urgent care because I thought I had the flu. Yeah, but you didn't. That's what I'm saying. I didn't, but we were still broken up because of what happened. I'll beg to differ because I didn't feel like we were broken up. It was the same the whole time. We never, you won't even, you won't even claim the relationship because of what happened that started September 1st. Yeah, we had to change, we had to change our anniversary day because of that. So our anniversary was originally September 1st because that's when we started dating. And then in October that happened. So we changed our anniversary dates and when we got engaged. So I don't even exactly how long we've been together. It's, it's been since we just called early 2020 because that end of 2019 was just we were both discussing. We stayed together because of and then a relationship developed like almost like a arranged marriage. You guys who chaos. What do you think the financial score is in the household? Zero being the worst 10 being the best. Zero. I mean, he says zero. I have to take his word for it. He shows me the budget and everything, but it changes every day. He'll say, we're not in such bad shape. We just do this that and the other thing. So every time he gets paid and does the budget, there's a little more or less and he'll be okay with life. If it's a little more and we're poor and going to die, it's a little less. It's a little drastic. Never any certainty. If you want to figure out what your financial score is, make sure you take that hammer financial score for free at Calebhammer.com. It just takes a few minutes to see where you stand in the world of money. See where you stand in each category as well. It is detailed. It is free and it just takes a few minutes to go to Calebhammer.com. And if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show like how their budget's confusing and makes no sense, your shouldn't be. Download Dolomwise. Take the free trial. See if it works for you. We're updating at every few weeks. Now there's incredible transactions splitting so you can make the perfect budget for you. So check out that Dolomwise free trial at Dolomwise.com. And most people take the annual version once they like it because it saves nearly 50% on your money. And you get the physical version of my 30-day meal plan signed by me, mail directly to you. And you get the digital version of the cookbook as well. So guys, check that out. Go to Dolomwise.com or just download it wherever it is. Check it out. All right, guys. I like this stack is huge. So we got to start going. And I know there's so much more to talk about with y'all, but why haven't attorney? Why is there an attorney? You guys aren't married. So you're not getting divorced. What's going on? I got arrested in February. That's the arrest thing. I heard you guys talking about that when I was coming back in the room. Why are you getting arrested? You kids. Literally, I was just, you know, I have a cleaning company. So I'll go into businesses late at night. So I just pulled into a parking lot. Caught pulled up behind me, asked me if I was drinking or smoking. And I said, no, he asked me to do chemical tests. I said, no, and he just arrested me. Cool. Because he'd be like, why do you owe attorney money? Because you should be good at that point. Because I'm paying. I'm paying. I go to court for what are they saying? So when you deny the chemical testing, DMV has to have a hearing in New York state automatically has nothing to do with the actual. So the deal is going to get dismissed itself because it's nonsense. But the DMV can still. Yeah. So spend his license for take it away. If you, if you don't do chemical testing, if you don't let them take your blood or something, what did you let them? I just don't. Why? Why am principal? I agree, but now you have to do all this. That's fine. I mean, you live in the nanny state in New York. Yeah. Well, because the thing was, they either pull me over and literally said, hey, give me your blood or you're getting arrested, then you're gonna arrest me. And now you have to deal with this. That's fine. Which sucks. I mean, but you live in that place. So that's your fault. Is there a minimum to payment to them? Just one I can. He was my attorney. He was my attorney. He was kind of like his family friend. My whole me. Yeah. His whole life
urgents and 10. 10. What was the most egregious felony possession of a weapon, felony sales of a weapon? And you were going to get heard as a teacher. Well, that was a business. Yeah, that was a clerical error. I have a firearm. My favorite one didn't go through. Does he ever felony? No, no, no. Okay. I've never been charged with the crime. I have a clean record. Every arrest has been either dismissed or was the next most egregious D. W. A. I went out like 19. My goodness, guys. 10 arrests is insane. Most people don't get arrested. That's not a thing that happens. That is not a normal occurrence. I've left 10. I mean, it is where we are, I guess. What? Yeah. Why'd you choose to reproduce with that? That's crazy. I didn't know about the other eight. If it helps, if it helps, my one of my goals is to be a lawyer. Dude, pick a path. Comedian teacher lawyer cleaner. This makes no sense. You're all over the place. The people that are all over the place like that get nowhere. Yeah, I agree. You're never going to get any of kids to take care of it. So you don't just get to be lawyer, teacher, cleaner comedian. That doesn't make sense. I agree. If that's your goal, go to law school. I don't know. I so that's the thing. So I had already took my LSATs and I was applying to law school when I got arrested for the gun business mix up. So I had to stop my applications. That was that. That was in what 2021? So what the fuck is wrong with you? It's been five years. That that took a year and a half, almost two years to get. It's been four years. And then just three years. It's worse. Then I had to reapply and just figuring out how to pay for a school. It's been three years. You can borrow. That's how people pay for it. I'm applying again. I'm starting to apply again. Yeah. All right. I have it affirmed from you. And this is the Amazon at 16% 12 month loan. What the fuck are we doing? This is crazy. What did you get from Amazon for $611 to $26? Oh, that was my daughter's bed. Yeah. Well, why are we financing a bed at 15.99 percent? There's zero percent bed financing out there at furniture stores everywhere. Zero percent. You're getting it at 16% of the one that she has. The percentage is the high one is the one she has. I don't care. I don't know why. Affirmative. So the house we moved in now is a little smaller than the house we were renting for six years. And we just need a more space. So the lofted bed helps give a more space underneath for toys and clothes and stuff. Okay. Well, it's $110. And you're monthly payment. That's about to be paid off probably next month. What's the minimum monthly? I think it's my question. I think it was like 30 bucks. Well, let's talk about it next month. It's a few months away. But okay. Here's another one. You did only $138, which is about at 16%. I don't understand the point. What was that one? Oh, this one just happened. This one, this was from Amazon $1783. That was a doggy. Why are we doing doggates at 16% interest though? 60% is high, but the actual charge is only like actually 12 bucks or some 16 bucks. Yes, but that all stacks up. You see how big this paper work? It all stacks up substantially. Hey, why do you think you're in debt? Because you can't manage that shit, dude. Yeah. What? No, no, it's all your entire family. Now you can't get everybody for groceries. Or eating out, but we still do that. I know eating out has been a, I'm sure you get to that. Yeah, the worst one. What's your minimum to payment on this? Glad we eat out and we can't even. I think that's only like 12 bucks. Yeah, that's going to take forever. That's a year to pay off like 11 from now now, 11 months. And you did it again. But this one was a meta. What did you borrow $443 and 54 cents per meta? That was for the meta glasses. And you're not even wearing them. This is stupid. I do wear them. Here's the reason I got those actually. I actually talked to her about it because when we're out with the kids and doing stuff, we want to like capture moments and it was like real awkward to like stop and take out the phone. So to just be like riding my bike with my daughter or being out fishing and just capture. It's nice, but you prioritize that over groceries when she can't even get money for a single hobby. Yeah. That's what she begs for. And you're getting meta glasses. I'll do a long do a hobby that doesn't cause anything like fishing and riding bikes. Except you can spend all the money in your hobby. My hobby doesn't cost that much either. Just did. As whole it literally just did. What are you talking about? You're financing everything. What's the minimum amount that just a month? I think that's like 27. Okay, and that you still owe 180, 63. Okay, so I want to know is we're going. I mean, you guys obviously fight like crazy, but my concern is I'm especially with people like you that get so heated up there in New York. Does it ever get physical? What else? Not between us, but there was a few times that he had called his mom over to come into his defense and she would get between my daughter and I and we have gotten into
physical. Why would she do that? What does she do? I would be trying to leave with my daughter to be out of the situation, and she would hold my daughter from me. When you two were fighting. Now you're not physical fighting. No. But when you guys are verbally fighting, you call your mom. You still in the past. Well, she lives right down the road. And when we call your mom, well, she wouldn't let me leave. And I would then want to cop there. A lot of the times I would at that point, I was letting you leave, but then you would just go off into your tangent and call your mom anyway to have somebody back. You up. And you know, because she was trying to defend her son, she would blindly come in. And there was a time that she was picking up my daughter. And I went to take my daughter from her and she didn't give me my daughter. So we got into it physically. What will happen? We were by the door of the car. I was trying to put my daughter in the car. And she used her body to block me. So we just I was wrestled because he told her to. No, I didn't tell to my mom. I took the kid. She's just I was just trying to leave. And I wasn't going to leave my own child to take the kid because he told me not to take my daughter. Why? But I wanted to leave her out. I think he just leave her out. The person that's leaving to separate themselves from the fight or the angry shouldn't take the kid. You should at the time. And I'm not going to leave her with her dad, who's pissed at her mom. I was just taking her because she was a young baby. And we spend majority of our time together. So I wasn't trying to take her from you. I was just trying to take her with me. So what did you and the mom do? We're like wrestled by the door. Like what? Like wrestling? Yeah, like, no, like, you know, wrestled for me to get in the car and put my daughter. And that's what the kids are there and like, come on. This can't be the household that are in. Why are you calling back up from mom? What the fuck? I never called her. It would have been fine. But because I had, you know, I'm not going to let somebody take my kid from me. No. So I'm supposed to do when she's all going crazy on me and I'm not really not letting us know. No, she's no, no, those are those those are times where she refused to let me physically leave. She would stop me from physically leave. Well, why would I do that when she's doing this? Okay. What did you do to get me there? Because I don't just start off being bitch. When we, when we were first, it takes a lot to get me there. You pretty much did this episode. You pretty much came swinging right out the bat. Well, there's accusations and things being said that no, that was before that before any of that you started with the, with the attitude and, and the aggressiveness and it's like that. I don't know how aggressive everybody else thinks that I am. I mean, maybe you're just sensitive. No, you're aggressive. You're aggressive. And it's roughly not. Well, not part of the bat all the time. It is. It is. He, you are. You start off. Your baseline is here. Sometimes you'll even say if you don't agree with me right now, I'm leaving. I can't be with you. Like, okay, so if I don't agree with what you're saying right now, you're going to believe. Yeah. Yeah. That's better than not. I'm not saying you be the shit out of me. And I certainly don't beat the shit out of you. But you want to. There are times. And you make it very clear that I would love to, but I wouldn't ever do that to another human being. That you don't. Would you be the shit out of his mom? It was over my daughter. So how do you guys communicate on this finance, by the way? Because again, right now none of this, that's hers. We just went through one, do three, four, all you. How do you guys communicate about this? Do you have any? He goes over the budget with me all the time. I've tried to get more opinion from her, but she just either says, hey, whatever you want or. Well, that you're just complaining about that. Why are you just giving doing the whatever you want? Well, because when he asks me what to do, what to pay, what to, I'll say, get rid of a car. Everything's been done with her consideration. Yeah. I'll tell you that much. I don't make the money. And I don't, she makes the bill. The decision. I'm not complaining. I'm not complaining. He's fine to make the choices. In the first 20 minute, the only thing I would have to say about the finances is if there's that much coming in and this much coming out and he's spending whatever on meta glasses, it would be nice for me to have at least four hundred a month in my account for groceries, diapers and gas. I took her to Greece years ago. That like she gets stuff. She does things that she says she wants to do. I'm not saying that I'm an invalid. I'm just saying that I suck sometimes to text to ask for gas and diapers. I'm an adult woman. Yeah, but how about how many times you ask for money from a McDonald's and I've said that, you know, don't, don't spend it on the McDonald's. Save it. Why? Because why? Why are we running like this? Why is it not? Everything goes into one account and you both have access to the one account. I'll be because if it's still just spending on everything. No, I will know that for a fact that we tried it one time. Okay. When you were making lots of money. Yeah. And every time I put money in it, she would spend it and then ask for more. And then I would like, yeah, I would say, yeah, yeah. But then the first of a couple of times I'd have to say no. Never want to express to me that there was a problem with the budget only now. That's it. It's communicating because of the brand of fees. I would say, oh, you did that back then. Well, hey, you base it all back, but you didn't stand up then. You base everything on that. That happened then now. Yeah, I say no a lot, but to say no. Oh, then, what are you saying? You're spending too much. No. No, cuz then how can you base what you might do today? Based on that. Because you guys understand things change. But I do. But you have to understand that I still need the basic necessities. And we have the basic necessities. Right. But I shouldn't have to ask you for a measly gas and this and that. That should just be in my account. No, listen, when it's been $400 or one day. No, it's just simple. When the person who's working controls all the money and the person who's staying at home, taking care of the house needs to buy something for the house, it's logically that you have to ask the person who's making the money. Hey, I need this what's money. That's what I'm doing. Yeah, but the money should be in my account too. I should have money for gas to go to the store and buy diapers. I agree. Listen, it's weird to judge her for something. She didn't even know she was doing wrong because you wouldn't speak up for it. And she knows the situation is different now. How much was being made? I'll adjust. Anywhere from 12 to 25,000 a month. How that's crazy. That's crazy. The downfall you've had. How is it even close to fair to judge her based on that when you didn't say stand up and say that you said it to me? I would absolutely. That's why I'm only saying 400 should cover gas, groceries, and diapers. So in the next month. All the time to stuff. Yeah, but I do say no and I say okay. If everything's in one account and you guys collaborate on the budget, you guys can do it as a team. Instead of you being like, this is what we're doing. I'll send you a little bit of money here and there. Do you want to do this as a team or use the data? That's what you want to do fine. We'll figure out how much money we need for groceries and the main stuff. I'll put it in account and that's what. But when that's gone, you can't come and ask, but you will. I'm not trying to be excessive. That's what she's been asking for. Every single time. I just want to be able to use it without asking for some waiting for you. Every single time. Like say if I'm at work and she's like, hey, I'm going out to lunch with my sister. I'm going to grab this. She'll ask first money. I'll send it. She'll like, oh, I'll send me a hundred bucks. I'll send her a hundred bucks. Then literally 20 minutes later, I'll get a tax, taking 20 more because it's always there's always one more. Why should you spend sending though? Why can't she just have the card know what she's allowed to spend on the budget? You both agreed to do together because then she would still spend it on. You don't know. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it based on something she didn't know was wrong though. I run it by you all the time because I don't want to make things more difficult for you. And I'm not going to be stupid and spend money. We don't have what's making these difficult is always asking for something and me always saying no. I just say that you do things and I'm like, alright, let me see if I get you think if I said no to eating out yesterday. It's yes today. That makes no sense. Yeah. And this doesn't make any sense because again, the note that we I had for you that I opened up with was you call her self as bitch. She's selfish. How was she selfish? Where's the selfish so far? I'm not seeing her being selfish. First of all, asking you haven't even mentioned once our overall bills. You're all you've set on the show so far as, oh, I want this much to spend. It's like, well, what if we don't got it? That's what I said to him in the beginning. I don't know. I'm not possessing it. I'm just saying. No selfish people talk like that. I don't talk like that. This is this is our house. This is our car. Huh? She call it her house. Yeah, our house. Our house. Yeah, our house. This is selfish. You're saying our house. I don't even think of anything as just mine. She says my car, our house. That's not selfish. As you call it, her kids are your kids. The kids, the kids, our kids are her kids. It depends. I don't think I know she's in there. My kids. Unless I'm talking to him about talking to someone else. That she's not using selfishly. Maybe he just feels that I'm selfish because it's difficult for him to provide the way that he. I pay. Okay, let me get into this. I have to buy birthday gift for people. No, you don't have to buy birthday gifts for people. We don't have money. He said my goddaughter. She has like a 50-person family and we have to buy gifts. I don't care. That's what I say. Everyone gives. That's why I do. No, we do. We get everybody a $10 gift. I don't get crazy gift. 150 people a month. Money for gift. That's the only debt I have. What is cheap? Oh, that was to get my babysitter down here. Very good. What's the the black guy? Uh-huh. I wondered why there was someone in the office that's not a normal like my, we have Mexican minorities down here. So I was fine with your guys babysitter, but she was just a let anybody that we don't know if my child would be comfortable with a stranger. Because of your babysitter that distracted me from the comedy set because they do just walked away. Our babysitter stay with the kids. Devon had to go chase him down. Well, I went in there and that should be now. That's him. Yeah, great. I'm glad you paid for that when we provide them. We don't charge our guests for the babysitter's right. We pay for them. What the fuck are you doing? You can't even, and you brought up. Well, we were supposed to have his mother come down with us and watch them in the hotel. After you guys invited us, I, my confirmed with my mom's using
to take the drive down with us and then last minute chief still we would have done it would we not have done it we would have done it so what is that on a monthly basis that's I think that's like 50 bucks but that's all there work to you okay and here's the matter thing we already had the okay tire rack great yeah that was tires for the car oh interesting okay that is two twenty eight sixty nine and that's twenty dollars and eighty two cents a month say key finances everything is like the last year advanced auto parts that breaks and rotors uh-huh that is twenty seven thirteen a month this shit is stacking up dude and no shit we can't pay bills you can't give her money because you finance everything in nine minutes the payments are beyond expanded you don't have money on a monthly basis at all here's credit one you have a credit one that's like the worst credit card you can get that's like horrible that's how you know we have a credit card finder and match her on our website for credit card people only not for these people not yet but we like it would have been this you would get a lot of options they can choose a good one one thousand seven hundred fifty six thousand sixty cents basically at a max how much inside do you have into how much debt there is um I see the budget and the invoices that he sends out but I don't know the actual I don't see the credit card um like eight dollars a month credit protection fee interest and Amazon free time I've never even heard of that I don't even know what that is well guess what you're paying for six dollars and forty seven cents while interest and fees are accruing oh yeah another quarter one why not yeah sure maize will get more one thousand two hundred forty three dollars and eighty one cents with a minimum monthly payment of sixty three dollars vending machine he's putting this f*cking vending machine now you're bitching at her for spending money on gifts for her kids from five below but you go get vending machine shit on here while you're also getting fees and interest hundreds of dollars lost to see her put these together you're almost at a thousand hours lost this year so far already already already actually just as of like a month ago okay because guess what we have another credit one why not and even more fun this one's completely at its limit one thousand five hundred six dollars seventy nine cents and you'll fee credit protection interest rate accruing this is seventy six dollars a month come on what are we doing here this is insane capital one quicks over you it's all in you so far we're on one two three four five six seven eight nine ten this is eleven this how can you bitch and moan about her when you're the one accruing all the debt two thousand five hundred sixty four dollars only when you had credit so you can get any debt you can open a credit card no she could and she could open a credit one just like you did well she has on that I said you purchase a thousand two hundred forty two dollars and forty and cents on here when you can only make the minimum payment campaign after card and interest is accruing why the f*ck possibly why when you were getting paid by her oh why are you spending money on here so all my credit cards were paid off after we bought that okay here's living off of it here's living off of it him going in the gas station getting some bullshit getting some bullshit getting some bullshit McDonald's McDonald's family dollar family dollar trying to sit he going in the gas station getting some bullshit he got gas but he also went inside got some bullshit he got I think that's into the car he went in the gas station got some bullshit winning got some bullshit got some bullshit got some bullshit winning got some bullshit dunking donuts five guys expensive food by the way when he got some bullshit then a machine drink and dispensatory that's we needed to survive hey when we lose our job we cut back to whatever income we have groceries with them I don't oh he said he needs to get what do you get what are you doing what are you getting well I work when I'm working a lot I gotta get drinks and so no buying paul what drinks are you getting just well I just drink a lot of water buy it in bulk you put it in a jug I carry around with me a jug this size I do have a big yeti cup but I dropped a lot I dropped around a lot it's a bullshit a lot of it is bullshit but it's bullshit most of it's for one oh he spent money on a card that he can't pay off who would have thought two thousand eight hundred sixty four dollars and thirty two cents minimum monthly payment ninety eight dollars hot door dash cash passion hulu and going inside and getting some bullshit in the gas station wow the critical necessity for life finally one from you and it's past due yeah what are you responsible for paying on this or is he that what is this what paid in half he get I had to split a hundred and twenty dollars between all the cards so you send her a minimum of the payments and then she does it is that what I would do it I usually pay for the limit I mean I pay all her credit cards because so why the fuck is this past do so that one I didn't have enough of the money that he sent me to pay the full face he pays it he said though yeah so tell me how much the center he sent me one it's twenty five dollars a month so tell me what to send so we were late one month and then yeah you're late I got charged to late fee not only that but you're over the limit yeah so I had your purchasing at the same time stop up we're getting tickets we're going to get to Bolsham we're going to seven months or jam he purchased that on my card see what you purchase it on her card pushing over the limit they're not giving her enough money to pay it off what the fuck are we doing I I knew he didn't have a lot in his account so I stretched why but why are these like only if I give you the money I stretched one just that once you don't it's in McDonald's as well sure why not because you told me you didn't have a lot of money in the account yeah but tell me how much the minimum is and I'll send it to you well I honestly was afraid to because you that's not my fault you don't have the money and I was like okay it said I could pay half now and half on October 21 but you can't complain about me not sending you enough money but then you don't tell me how much money you need to send and I had 400 in my account for that month it would have been paid off no that's not you wanted to use it only have a hundred dollars in your account and I need 120 what do you think that I don't know what to do I have to make it stretch I have to pay half now half later and I guess what milestone yes it's paid but it's at its limit 30 hours a month you owe four inches 69 hours and three cents nothing mattered here you waiting outside with a bullshit no use it for going in the store and getting to bullshit marshals five below in Starbucks yes Starbucks it's all bullshit this isn't we're keeping alive till we get paid and it didn't end there dunking down it's as well lots of he has meta glasses and all that so we can't say we're using this credit card to stretch to the next paycheck when it's all spent on bullshit none of it's necessary that's stretching for paycheck that's you come on what is this it's like w card or something I don't know what that is oh that's West Lake I think yeah sure two thousand thirty five dollars and twenty six cents minimum to payment two hundred thirty dollars and eight cents that's crazy oh wait probably because there's lathees because I see a fee interest no payment in your above the limit in your past two ninety seven so it's normally ninety seven sick you got to catch up this is so stupid that's about to go to collections just destroy any kind of credit you had left at 31.74 percent interest rate you when your mom were in the mortgage yeah your mom my mom get him stop it this is what happened I'll tell you what happened so when we decided to start saving up and buying for our house we were going to stay in our house that we were renting for one year and then my mother came to us and you know gave us the sob story if she's getting older she lives in a apartment by ourselves she doesn't want to be alone anymore so I said okay mom well we're going to buy a house soon so why don't you move in with us we'll get ahead of time we'll buy a house that's good for us we were good with that yeah so so we so me and her were saving up for a year so we were six months into saving up and when my mom decided to buy the house with us she said okay I'll put down the half down payment and that way you don't have to wait a year so I you know so we moved up our timeline from a year to six months so we only had half the one we technically have a housing market so we me and my my mom we applied for the mortgage together we got approved I would refinance her to get her off we're the thing we're trying to what if rates go to about four so we're refinance until it's the least four and a half for you so because you're at six and a half so halfway through looking at houses with my mom getting ready to find a house that we'd all fit she backed out she backed out she said I'm not going to live with you so then I said well mom I already told my landlord that I'm living with now that I have I'm leaving so I had to I only had a certain amount of time to leave so she went on the line so she went on so that was the one hundred twenty two thousand dollars three hundred ninety three with a six and a half interest rate two thousand four and a forty two dollars a month one main financials is a car uh sixteen percent that's a consolidated loan that he did with the credit cards now guess what we actually have good consolidation loans and good all that shit personal loans and all that stuff on cable hammer dot com but only for people who know how to do it so you didn't change your behavior you max out all credit cards after and so what the what the boy I tell you I tell you what happens so after we bought the house um we bought some furniture and stuff on our credit cards right um and then we bought the car and then in order to pay off the credit cards and on a better rate we did the one main loan with the cars collateral uh then paid off all of our then paid off all of our credit cards so we didn't have any of those other credit accounts and then you didn't change your behavior to open credit cards and you built it all back up right after that I lost one of the big accounts from the cleaning so we didn't have any then it changed your behavior because you lost your income and you still spend it all on both yeah yeah that's worse so stop stop six thirty two dollars a month and thirty seven cents with an entire balance of twenty four thousand two hundred thirty two dollars and forty three cents crazy because it's again at a sixteen percent interest rate folks like an actress this is the collateral so there's not an extra debt on that but it's no don't ram okay that's your truck well $9,775.275.
a month. Sick. You get a Mercedes-Benz. Sir, why now? Let's just add more to that. Mechanic owed for purchasing repairs. You owe $6,000. Is there a monthly payment or do you just owe that? Just owe it. That's stupid. Oh, you have stood alone as well. That's great. $51,061. What's your monthly payment? Zero. Why? He deferred that. It's just like you. You shouldn't be able to. You owe to the IRS and this will be more $40,000. I think you're on it. Are you on a payment plan? Yeah, are you on a payment plan with the IRS? I was when I first moved into the house. Great. And you're not anymore. No, I'm going to change your state because you're. You owe $3,000 on a payment plan there. Yeah. What? $150. Great. $8,844. A collection there. Now, the spending. This is what the big disagreement was. So this is what I want to see. You, you're checking accounts, $6,071. End of the statement. That is pathetic. Money back and forth. Okay. Here we go. We got Apple. We got word door dash. Even though we can't even send her money. Apple payments. Stopping in the gas station, getting some bullshit. The Delhi getting some bullshit. Promo on sports. What is sports betting $10,80? Promo, Promo. Promo. Promo. Promo. Promo. Promo. Promo. No, that was. That's a story. Yeah. It's one word on there. It's one word. It's not separate word on the statement. What's Promo in sport? It was probably just like a sportsman. Go. Go. Go. Winding got some bullshit. Going to get some bullshit. Getting some bullshit door dash draft Kings. There's betting. Thank you. And I liked the pretty. I don't do it at all. You don't have money. So you shouldn't do it at all. Okay. Series six and ATM withdrawal. Probably once a strip club dairy queen got some bullshit when he got some bullshit when he got some bullshit when he got some bullshit, creamery, Dalai, how much do you send out wicks. For his website. So why is that? We got some bullshit. Venom machine, which offer the dispensary when he got some bullshit got some bullshit. It was $50. 50. That's bullshit. bullshit. Amazon. Amazon. ATM, which are all probably once a strip club. Bullshit. Pizza palace. Quick check, creamery, creamery, Dalai. Venom machine bullshit. A lot of this is withdrawal probably into the strip club bullshit bullshit bullshit. Zellin on money. Microsoft Xbox bullshit. Zellin on money. Wendy's bullshit. Lids. Amazon. Dalai. Zellin on money with drawing money probably into the strip club door dash bullshit. Burger King. I didn't mean to. I'm not going to the strip. You said we don't have money. Quick check, quick check. H&M bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, pretzel maker, chocolate. What? How much is the all the phone numbers you have? Bago Bakery. It's a yearly farm. Taco bull. You own money. Many machine and just products withdrawing money probably into the strip club. Apple bill bullshit. Bullshit. Venom machine. Venom machine. Bullshit. Amazon withdraw probably went to the strip club ATM. Bullshit. Deposit. Well, no, but that's triumph deposit. I don't even know if it is trying to use it, but it's paying money. Yeah, because there's no money here. I'll say that. Bakery. Kowshi. And again, it can be fun, but if we don't have money or it's your dictating to you, you shouldn't do it. Pizza place. Bullshit. Wendy's. And going in and getting the bullshit. So why are you so worried about spending money when this is not me just spending money on this all? So that's all bullshit. It's not his business guy has negative $202 in it. Apple Cash. Roku. Apple Bill. Apple Bill. Prime video. Triumph deposit. Again, sending money somewhere. Bullshit. Triumph deposit. Triumph deposit. Triumph deposit. Triumph deposit. What is that? It's like $5.59. It's $5. That's it. I stopped doing that with that. That was actually a solitary game. Oh my god. Are you sure from this business account? Door dash. Bullshit. Netflix. Deli. I asked him to get a bullshit. Venom machine. Bullshit. I mean, I feel like I don't like to stand on because I don't work and I have credit for myself. But if he took, if he agreed to take her to the house, he's not. Bullshit. Bullshit. Door dash. Greenhouses. Resort. Resort. Bullshit. Which probably went to the strip club right there. Bullshit. Deli home. We don't know yet. There's still more to go through. He's spending money at the comedy club than he gets. When he got some bullshit. Deli McDonald's. This is all in the business card, by the way. Bullshit. When I didn't say I got some bullshit, diner, departments or bullshit. Bullshit. Red week dot com. What is that? Red week dot com. Red week dot com. What is it? What is that? That's a place that we take. Oh, that's good. Just spending on your business account. That's negative. Bullshit. Wendy's. Bullshit. Deli. Apple bill. Bullshit. Bullshit. AMC. Bullshit. We're draw subway. Bullshit. Dispensary. Bullshit. Sling.com. Bullshit. Green market. Burger King. Roku. Duncan. Donuts. Bullshit. Bullshit. Solitaire. Bullshit. Beastro. Tie. Bullshit. It's all bullshit. And bullshit. ADM will draw probably one to the strip club. Bullshit. There are bills even. Bullshit. Sick. Oh, they're probably not. Apple bills. Why the credit card? No, it's because the credit cards going up. That's where you put y'all your bullshit. I didn't see. Why don't you get your over drafting every single month. Over draft over draft over drafts. Here's yours. Started with 27 ended with 30. Oh my gosh. It's still so. No, you made money. That one. Look at that. When it is bullshit. Get into bullshit. Clouds corner. YCC. Get into bullshit. Bread McDonald's. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Old Navy. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. McDonald's. Bullshit. Zell. Zell. Zell. Monty maintenance fee. You're savings. Wow. $290. Well done. Oh my God. If it's even still there. That's what we have for our names in our mid 30s. Pathetic failures, losers in every way. And why would there be dating apps? Like what the. Well, there was in the past. So six years ago she can't stop. She can't stop. You couldn't either, dude. Yeah. Well, because you said it said money for taxes $5,000. Why do you have enough money to pay for bills? Because you don't pay for the taxes that are going to be owed, which is why it's going to keep coming from the IRS. And I hope they take everything. They will put your home up for collateral and they will take it. Damn. Well, they might have to add another one of the collection. Minimum repayments outside of the mortgage $1,787.31. Now if we add the mortgage in, what was it? $3,000 a month? No, 20. Oh, $2,442 since 16 cents. Now what's your average utilities, gas, electric, water, and internet all combined, a monthly basis. Gas is quite a bit. Just give me your average across the board for like gas in the car. Utilities for the house. Electric is $462 a month. Very specific. That's because she only knows that one because that's in her name. That's the only one she cares about. Internet gas. Water. Internet is 100. And just know it's 100. A gas is probably for my car. Not a car. Gas for the house. No, we don't have it. It's a water. Yeah. Yeah, but we haven't gone. We haven't gone our water bill yet. We haven't gotten it. Yeah, I'll say 200. Yeah, because we've called and they have. Okay, seven come to two taxes. Now gas from from drive drive. What you've been waiting for like four or five hundred bucks a month. Yeah, between all the cars. 405. You said four four four four five hundred four 50 car insurance. How much? Right now we got it down to 300. Phone bill to 70. We're so far to 75. I guess unnecessary food. You and all those kids. You should be able to do all the youngest. We usually do that. Did you say two? One. Yeah. Four. Is it on Titi? No, not anymore. No, I'm pregnant. I can't feed. He eats milk and regular food that we. Okay. We should be able to do eight hundred hours with meal prep meal plan. You're just doing a few meals a month. Probably. Then we eat out every meal. That's why you think it's less. Yeah. If you can do 700, that's great. But we're going to do eight hundred for now. TV fun. Anything else for you and the kids who exist two hundred fifty dollars is diapers as food. It's not food. But it's diapers. It's toothpaste. It's all that stuff. It's school activities for the six year old. Okay. Medical health care that are co-pays on a monthly basis. No, so she's on because we're not married. She's on the Medicaid state. And I didn't know who you live with though. You don't report that. Well, we applied under so because this is why don't want to live in a state that just supports people who choose to not say who they live with. No, because we said no wait. So she was we were we were all on that program. I'm glad you guys get tax more there for this. We were all on the state when I was just. Okay. So zero dollars. Zero dollars. Zero dollars. Subscriptions. Fifty dollars. Do you have any pets? Yeah. Three dogs. Oh, you guys. One hundred fifty dollars. Peninsurance. How much for pets? You do now because guess what? If there's a critical emergency, you're going to go into debt or they're going to die. And that's selfish. You so now you're paying the exactly. I'm talking about an emergency that thousands of dollars to save their lives. How much for pet food and supply about 50? Yeah. 150. 150? Yeah. Their dog food bag is only. Anything else that needs to be in this budget that I've not done. No, I think that's it. Yeah, that's it. Yep, that's it. So your minimum necessities are as much as you make without paying taxes. You're actually two thousand five hundred under water if you set aside money for taxes properly. So yeah, you're and that's without being on your minimum to payment plans for the student loans and the IRS. So the reality is, buddy. I think the clear option is clear. One, you guys put everything into one account. She has access to a stuff.
spending on credit cards, stop doing all that. You have a budget together, you sit down together, you discuss what you're allowed to spend on. And once you get that under control for three months, I'll allow you to go through bankruptcy. Bankruptcy is your only way out of this day. You're not paying your way out of this day, unless you go in again, double your salary, but I'm not gonna wait for that 'cause I need you to start tackling the IRS. You already have the house, so what are we even trying to have a good credit for anyway? Okay, and it's a nice house, as far as I so. So you're happy there. And you have the car, so we're not borrowing. Get your budget under control, go through bankruptcy and start this teaching position. - Okay. - Like what the fuck, that's it, dude. Easier said than done, obviously the bankruptcy is gonna be a process and it costs a little bit of money to get going. But you don't do bankruptcy and tell you change your behavior 'cause you'll end up like multiple guests who've been on the show where you go through multiple bankruptcies 'cause you don't change your behavior. So you're budgeting together, you're disciplined together, you go over it a couple of times a month together, okay? - I think that's the main thing as we don't-- - That's it, you don't communicate at all, it's horrible. - Yeah. - Maybe go to counseling, 'cause you guys-- - Budget didn't turn counseling with them. - No, you guys are on the state program. All right, there's a lot to do in this post show, so you know it's gonna be crazy, but let's get the hammer financial score first. Spending it in a budget, you're overspent dramatically. Zero out of 10 debt, there's collections, zero out of 10, emergency fund, not even a thousand dollars, zero out of 10. It's here, retirement, zero out of 10. House, let's see the value. Value's 230, what are you on the house? Yo, 222, you can't sell it. You didn't even break even, you'll have to go to check. You're on it with your mom, that's not great. Okay, real estate score, at least you're in the market, I'll give you five out of 10 there. You're lucky for that. Hammer financial score, one out of 10. Get yours at kiloham.com for free, and now join the number one membership on YouTube where we have an entire network we have made of incredible high premium shows, three of them a day, six days a week, that's why there's over 175,000 monthly members to Hammer Elite. You can join by clicking that join button or link below to be here on YouTube, or you can go off platform at thehammerleadapperhammellead.com. Wherever you wanna be a Hammer Elite member does not matter, it is the same on both platforms, but we'll see you for what is about to be a crazy post show. - Hello? - Why are you and Robin fighting so much all the time? - All the times we fight, she was drunk. (laughing) - Is Marshall the father? - Oh. - I just launched the brand new Hammer Elite app available on every major platform. So you can watch every show anywhere you want. You'll get three exclusive dedicated shows every single day Monday through Saturday. Refer a friend after you sign up and you get an additional 30 days of Hammer Elite access for free. Download the Hammer Elite app by using the link in the description or pinned comment down below. This is the best membership you'll ever join, and that's a promise. If you think you have interesting finances with an interesting personality or a story or a life or relationship, I will personally pay you to take time off of work, fly you down to Austin, get you personal transportation, a hotel, food, and we'll have a great time hanging out. Go to katelaphammer.com/apply or click that link in the description below.
Podcast Summary
Key Points:
The couple experiences significant conflict over financial control, with one partner managing household expenses and the other feeling powerless to access money for personal needs.
The husband frequently reacts aggressively to disagreements, including throwing a plate and yelling at his partner in front of their children, escalating tensions.
A major point of contention is the lack of financial autonomy, especially after the wife’s first child, when the husband took full control of finances and refused to allow the wife to manage her own spending.
The husband claims to have been emotionally and financially supportive during the early stages of the relationship, yet now expresses distrust and control, particularly regarding financial decisions.
The wife feels she is unfairly blamed and dismissed, especially when she expresses concerns about parenting, children, and household responsibilities.
The husband’s behavior, including emotional volatility and control, is rooted in past experiences, such as texting his ex about being "forever attached" to her after the birth of their child.
There is a deep-rooted pattern of mistrust, including accusations of infidelity and emotional manipulation, despite evidence contradicting claims of past relationships.
Both partners express stress and emotional exhaustion, with one leaving the house during arguments, highlighting a breakdown in communication and mutual respect.
Summary:
The couple’s relationship is strained by a combination of financial control issues, emotional volatility, and deep-seated mistrust. The husband takes full control of finances after the first child, denying the wife access to her own money for basic needs like groceries or diapers, despite her role as a stay-at-home parent. This financial dependency leads to frustration and resentment, as the wife feels powerless and emotionally drained.
The husband frequently reacts with anger and aggression—such as flipping a plate in front of their children—when confronted, which escalates conflicts. Underlying this is a history of mistrust, including claims of past infidelity and emotional betrayal, such as texting an ex-girlfriend about being "forever attached" after the baby was born. The wife denies these claims, asserting that the relationship was built on mutual respect and that the husband’s accusations are emotionally manipulative.
Both partners express stress and a lack of emotional safety, with the wife often feeling like a scapegoat and the husband exhibiting control issues and an inability to manage conflict constructively. The conversation highlights a broader issue in relationships: when trust and autonomy are eroded, even minor frustrations can spiral into large-scale conflict. Financial independence, emotional accountability, and open communication are repeatedly emphasized as necessary for a healthier dynamic.
A recurring theme is the imbalance of power—where the husband, despite past support, now exerts control, while the wife feels silenced and disrespected. Ultimately, the relationship struggles to balance personal needs with shared responsibilities, making it difficult to maintain a stable, respectful, and healthy partnership.
FAQs
Yes, in this case, one partner feels frustrated and disrespected when the other controls finances, leading to arguments and emotional outbursts.
Financial disagreements cause stress, lead to constant requests for permission, and create a cycle of tension where money is tightly controlled and spent without trust.
Yes, in this relationship, one partner took full control of finances after the first child was born, limiting the other's access to money for personal needs.
They may feel powerless, stressed, and demoralized, as seen when the partner must ask for permission for basic needs like groceries or diapers.
Yes, one partner flips a plate in front of children, and both report verbal aggression, with one saying the other is 'always nasty' and reacting with anger.
They feel it's unfair and disrespectful, arguing that being a caregiver doesn't mean they can't manage money or have personal needs.
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