Financial Audit: Intervention

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To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier, check us out on YouTube. New Accused. You used her of cheating. You had to go through all her Instagram messages, all her text messages, all that. He just leaned in to kiss me, and I just let it happen. I didn't know what to do. You have no agency? What the fuck is this? He's like six foot five. One thing you don't know is that, yeah, she has like fully just gone out and sent her ex while you guys are together. He tried to specifically turn off the vanish mode auto-delete stuff on your phone, and you wouldn't let him. It wasn't on. That was shit. That was literally on. It was not. It was on. I saw you grab my phone and turn it on and then be like, look, it's on. This is the moment where we can stop an actual mistake from happening. Once you guys get slightly out of the excitement, this relationship is done. I just launched the brand new Hammer Elite app available on every major platform. To celebrate the app launch, I'm offering 30% off the annual plan in the month of June only. Plus I have an exclusive offer just for you, but I'll only have a thousand available to purchase. You'll get lifetime access to the entire Hammer Elite catalog and my Hammer for Life box packed with limited edition merch. Download the Hammer Elite app by using the link in the description or pin comment down below. This is the best membership you'll ever join, and that's a promise. Hi, my name is Stacey. I'm 25 years old. I am Aaron, 26. We're from Everett, Washington. And this is Financial Audit. Hey, guys. Thanks for coming to Austin. Happy to have you. Stacey, what do you do for a living in Everett? I am a commercial wallpaper hanger and painter. Okay, interesting. I've never even heard of people doing that. The painting part, sure, but commercial wallpaper, why not? Okay, sure. What do you make doing that? Hanging wallpaper. $45.06 an hour. Really? $45 an hour? Okay, you're doing well. I'd say you're doing really well. Okay, wow. I mean, that's as far as hourly income goes on this show. Pretty damn good. How many hours a week are you working? 40, but lately I've been doing like six hours a week. 60. It's been pretty brutal. That's incredible. Well, by choice or they're making you? A little bit of both. I'm the only wallpaper hanger. They're hard to come by. Yeah, because who the f*** is hanging wallpaper? But sure. Starbucks wants the wallpaper. You've been doing a lot of double nights. So many Starbucks. Nights? Very f***ing full when you're working nights. Yeah, sometimes. Okay, cool. So what does that translate to into money that hits your account per paycheck cycle? I think roughly $1,400 a week. A lot of taxes are taken out. That's what hits? Yeah. Well, not a lot of taxes. You're not in that lot of taxes range. No, you're not. Okay. Oh, the union. They take a lot for like your pension. Okay, maybe union, but that's not taxes. Like in the state of Washington either. It's like you're not. Like, no. Okay. Yeah. No. Got to lock in a little bit here. It's like 9% over there. Huh? The taxes. 9% what? I don't know. I don't f***ing know anything about taxes, man. I just go on TurboTax. I file every year. I don't really give a s***. Well, sure. But we're talking about her. Okay. So that is $6,066 a month. Okay. On average. You know, some weeks are going to be, or some months are longer, some weeks, or some months are less. But that's what it averaged out to. Pretty good. Now, Aaron, we can talk about you since you wanted to talk about yourself. Very happy about that. Yeah, I like doing that. How's your opportunity? What do you do for your job? I am a maintenance technician for an apartment complex company. Okay. So you don't make the money. No. But, you know, I do try. Shack up with the f***ing golden goose. The mother of money. Sugar mama. We love it. What do you make? I make about $25 an hour. Okay. But, you know, forever at Washington, obviously, you do need more money. $25 would stretch further here than there. But, okay. Very good. What? 40 hours a week? Yeah, just about. You have to get OT approved by the bigger bosses and whatnot. But, you know, if you're encountering a leak or a fire situation, that kind of just. So what hits you? Your account per paycheck cycle. What is that cycle? I would say, average, it can be about $16,000 and some change. Every. Sorry. Every two weeks. Okay. So, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, I got it. Oh, s***. Okay. No, I mean, I understood. But, okay. $3,200. Very good. Okay. Wonderful. So, like, half of what she's making. You guys are doing well together. Yeah, for the most part. How long have we been together? Five months. Five months. Okay. So, this is not a marriage. At least, I don't think it's. You guys are not married, right? I've known him for 15 years, though. So, I mean, it's been. We're not married. Well, that has nothing to do with anything I just asked. Yeah. But I appreciate the lore drop. Hey, it's good. So far. What is? We've known each other for so long. Okay. Very good. But you've been together for five months. Yeah, five months. Okay. I don't really understand the point of that part. But I. Thank you. That was beneficial. So, $9,266. But I can't really combine it. Because you guys have only been together for five months. Do you even live together? I mean, probably not. That would be crazy. Yeah, we. Okay, that's crazy. Yeah, we live together currently. How long have you guys lived together? About. Yeah, five months. December? Yeah. December. You guys moved in on the first date? Yeah. I mean, if you really want to say it like that, then. Yeah, just about. The answer would be preferable. Yeah, we moved in basically right away. Yeah. How? Okay. I mean, you guys are honeymoon phase in it. That's fine. Listen. I mean, is marriage even in the picture here? I don't know. With how quick you guys are moving, I'm surprised you're not at this point. Okay. Well, we're not combining this. I mean, that is an interesting financial position, I guess, to be in on this side of the table. I want to combine things. Five months in? What the f*** is wrong with you? That's a f***ing mess. We need to get our s*** together. No, don't be a delusional. We need to get our s*** together before we combine things. And then I want to, for sure. Yes, but I wouldn't say that's when you. You combine when you get your s*** together. I think you should get your s*** together regardless. I don't think we're getting together. We're combining all of our bank accounts five months after getting together and immediately moving it in. That's a little too quick. And I'm someone that has no problem with moving quick. But combining finances five months in, honeymoon phase? Not even close. Not even something we'd consider. You know, s*** just kind of happens and. It sure does. And you have a choice whether or not it does, for the most part, including combining finances. So what the f*** are you talking about? S*** happens. What? Well, I mean, I f***ing love her. I mean, what do you want me to say? No, very good. But you're in the honeymoon phase. I mean, come on. Before we combine all these accounts, before you have any legal protections that come with marriage, by the way. So, like. All right, to be fair, she's the one that mostly wants to combine s*** at this point. Do you not want to combine finances? Well, I'm not saying that. It's just, like he just said, we're not even f***ing married yet. I know, but I thought you wanted to, too. Look, you're the breadwinner in this f***ing relationship. Let's just make that very blatantly truth. I mean, as much as I. As much as I have a fully comped unit. So, technically, I'm making $37 an hour, if we're being realistic, because rent's like, what, $17.50? But, I mean, you already wanted to combine s***. I want you to have your own s***. I got my own stuff. You'd think it would be he who would want to combine, because he's the one that doesn't make money for the area. And you make good money, but you want to combine. Why? Because you have, like, no pressures? You feel nothing? Well, I mean, obviously, there's some pressure, or else I wouldn't be here. But I feel like, I mean, hmm, where do I want to go with this? Why do you want to combine so quick? You'd think I'd be the gold digger. You're still f***ing married. Okay, that's a bit weird. Can we not, like, not be married to another guy before you? To be fair, I told her I wanted to wait a f***ing year before we talked seriously about marriage. I mean, we talk about it, you know what I'm saying? Like, who doesn't? A year from when? Just from when we started dating around December. So, I mean, it's not like I'm looking to marry her right now. Do I want to? I mean, yeah. Oh, I feel like with the path she's going, she'd f***ing do it in this exact second. If I could marry you guys, I feel like she would. I mean. She's laughing like a witch about it. Yeah, I mean, she kind of. Yeah, sometimes I don't want to go home to my wife. Anywho, so, I mean. Your wife? See, he's not opposed. I mean, I call her my. Are you guys married? No, I call her my wife. It's more in the metaphorical sense. We're boyfriend-girlfriend, but. Of five months? This is like a high school thing. What the f*** are you guys doing? The reality is you guys remet at a funeral, and you f***ed her that night. Yeah. There you go. Now, there's an actually interesting element into this. Why don't you say, I don't care about you. I just like hearing myself talk, if I'm being honest with you. It is pretty insane. Yeah, so you guys remet at a funeral? Pretty much. Were you married, and you bent her over, over the casket? It's a little crazy. Hey, I was going through the divorce process, okay? Why the f*** were you guys at this funeral that you guys f***ed up? Our buddy reached out to me. He wanted me there for moral support. I tried gathering friends. - Friends of ours. moral support instead of bending her over all right that was later that night we were very drunk but you know i could have said no i mean we love going berserk i mean i love it it's it's great it's great i love it he should say that after he just said oh oh he did yes well you guys said you said you were she was she was like blacked out drunk oh we were both drunk yeah but you've seen the posters seen the posters it's have you seen the posters it's a double standard how long were you in the divorce process at this point do you know oh god like two months not very long yeah my husband was um deployed and i was trying to figure oh very good yeah no he was deployed i was trying to figure out like i was trying to get all my ducks in a row before you know like leaving and you're leaving a dude while he's overseas it's pretty brutal he was an asshole he's an asshole i had to get out of there um was he an asshole he was overseas just texting mean things well it was life is just easy when he wasn't home when he was home i did all the cooking i did all the cleaning i took care of everything i felt like a mother when i don't have kids like i i don't know it's just every time he left it was easier when he was gone and so i mean why put myself through all of that when i could just go somewhere else yeah and immediately check up at a funeral with him okay and you weren't married right no i was just dating a 40 year old yeah you heard that i did not stutter no i'm just uh just looking at your age. I mean, I don't care. I think you were a 26-year-old. I always wanted a f***ing MILF in high school and, you know, I'm 25. So you waited until 26? Oh, 25. Yeah, well, you know, I was a pussy back then. Basically a kid. Yeah. I was groomed. I, that's some strong language. Yeah. Okay. Stop. So, okay, well, you were dating this woman? How long? It was about two years, about to be three. What? You were three? Yeah, I was about, we were about to go on our third year of dating, but near the end. When did you break up with her? It was before her and I did anything, to be fair. So. Okay. It was already going downhill. She's giving a face. What? What is that face? You want to, do you want to put it out there? I'm good. You want to lay your nuts out on the table? I'm fine. My nuts are tucked under the table. What do you want to say? I feel like this is the time to say it. This is, okay. I love my strong. Oh, okay, dude. My goodness. Woof. You're a. They had a little crossover. I'm not supposed to say that. I just gave a look, so I mean. You're not supposed to say it? I don't think so, right? No. What? No? Why you guys didn't tell me? I thought there was some crossover. Wasn't that on the list of like, oh, you just don't want to call? Okay. Oh, cool. Beat that name for what it's worth. Yes, we're not calling the ex. That's on your list. Okay. That's fine. But what? There was a crossover of what? It wasn't really a crossover. I, it was. Of seeing that person and her at the funeral? No. Wait, sorry. Crossover of what? Like while you guys were dating, kind of, even though it was like towards the end when things were rocky. No, I broke it off with her before anything really happened. Why is she saying that? I don't know. I wasn't aware of that. I'm sure you're just saying that for the camera. That there was no crossover? Because it seems like there was a crossover. No, there, there was not. Because then the relationship would just be based on cheating. I mean, at least on my end. What? So. It would be based on cheating. Why did she have the perception that it was based on cheating? I mean, like I said earlier, I'm just chalking it up as like miscommunication. I probably just didn't simply tell her that. That's what I'm assuming at this point. I mean. Okay. I feel like I'm being kind of jerked off right now. I could. I mean. Okay. That's not a joke. That's like, I feel like, come on. I feel like, first of all, she was like, she was supposed to not say that. And then like, no one told me anything. It's just like, and now you're saying it didn't happen. I'm reading this very weird. I do not know why she said that. Why would she say, wait, didn't we want to not talk about that or something? We talked about a no-no list in there. I just didn't want to. The no-no list. Yeah, but you told me the no-no list. Certain things that I didn't really want to specify on a time. Timeline, because I didn't want to. Timeline. Yeah, timeline. Yeah. Well, we're not giving dates. No. No, I'm just asking if you were seeing her while you guys. No. She. Oh, there was that thing with her kid. What thing? Do you want to elaborate on that? Oh, you stopped seeing her. So the kid like missed you and wanted to see you. Oh, yeah. She had called. Well, you know, we're co the the ex and I were still co-workers and whatnot, and I had gotten. Pretty close with the child. We would game together, blah, blah, blah. And he didn't really have the necessary closure to understand like, oh, you know, Aaron is not going to be here anymore. Okay. Okay. Whatever. That's a mess. I don't know. I don't understand. I feel like I'm getting jerked around. I don't know what's real, what's not. But who knows what the relationship is based on? No, but I think we all get the. Vibe is why did we move in so quick? Was it because you had nowhere else to go after immediately leaving her being with her? No, I was already living in excuse me. I'm so sorry. I was already living in Monroe at the time with a old roommate. I was I've been friends with since high school to make a long story short on that. My company offers free comp rent for their workers, so I wanted to work very I wanted to jump ship. Have some free rent. Yeah, we were. We had a discussion. I mean, at the time I was either going to move in with my parents or my grandpa and I talked to him about it. He was like, oh, we could just get an apartment together. Yeah. Okay. Wait. So you guys did the funeral? Yes. Stuck it. Raw. Yes. Oh, hook up at the funeral. Not even. I haven't finished inside. I painted her like a canvas. What do you want me to say? No one needs to know that. No way. He's going to get off. Descriptive. I mean, Jesus. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I got that descriptive. I didn't even know. Isn't that risky? I took a plan. I took a plan B the next day because I'm going to say with how quick it is. No babies. Well, not not the way you guys are doing it. The reason I actually asked that I don't ask that just because I'm a degenerate and I am. But either even without that, it's because how quick you guys are moving. You know how many accidental pregnancies happen in these kind of situations. And if you're all dogging on that first meet, babies are slimy and gross right now. Right. I'm on a birth control and he's blasting raw loads. So I'm on birth control now. I'm good. She's always been on birth control. What kind? Mini pill. Great. So like, yeah. Okay. Good luck. What's so bad about that though? The implant sucks. I was on my period for like three months at a time. Every day. Exact same time. No flaws. And that's even still the lowest effective, but even still, okay. So blew that load and then how many days after? Well, and then how quick did we move in? Okay. So after that, right? Just about a little under a month. Yeah. And we got on a lease together. Shared lease. Cause that's risky. A month in. We are even just seeing each other. I paid for all the deposits. We are both. Sure you did. He has no money. Yeah. I didn't have the money at the time. I was going to have my grandma help me with a little bit of it. We're confident. He's not with you just for the money and housing. And I'm not no gold digger. I think that's some pussy shit bro. Housing's free from him. So I mean, I don't know. I just had to pay the damage deposit. Yeah. Just with how quick he's moving though, but, but no, you're all for it though. I mean, we're about to get the two bedroom and I want to, I want to pay for all that. Oh, you're upgrading. Yeah. So it's going to be with grading while on financial audit. So I was, what I had wanted when I first was looking for the comp department was a two by one. I wanted the space. She came into the picture. Now that became very much more required, but one wasn't ready at the time. So we've been making the one by one work and then we got approved for it. So all we have to pay for is just. Okay. Okay. Maybe you're not gold digging. That's fine. A new pet. Yeah. Cause I want to. Yeah. I want to pay. I don't give a shit. Okay. I want to pay for all of it. I do care about this pet. So maybe you are trying to quickly get out of this husband situation though. Hey, I would have moved in with my grandma or my, my. Exactly. I'm just still sussed at how quick you guys moved in together. I'm trying to figure that out. I feel like someone was running from something. I'm trying to figure it out. right now at The Home Depot. Exclusions apply. I got yours. Yeah. Just using our high school crush to get it out of that marriage. Move in real quick. Have some fun. You taking advantage of me? No, no. I wouldn't do that. Sometimes I feel like you don't believe me, though. I mean, why? Why, why, why, why, why do you even feel that? There's been a couple instances where I caught her in. Why ask her why she even feels that? I don't know. I feel like he doubts me a lot or like he questions my like actions or I can't even think of anything specific, but I just feel like he questions my motives a lot. You want to be my sugar daddy? Is that what you want? I mean, traditionally, I'd like to, like to, I mean. Why don't you get a better job? Because we have the free house and we want to save up enough money to get a house after being married, obviously. Which could be like in five seconds with your guys' rate. Well, I mean, if I get like 30 kids, like you guys are going crazy. Shit 60K to buy a house right now in five seconds. Yeah, I'd get fucking married to her, but that's just not a reality. Okay. Can you shit 60K in five seconds? Dude, you are just, who is around you ever in an enjoyable way? I don't understand. Very fair statement. To be fair. That's not a good thing, buddy. I'm so used to it. I've heard it for so long. And you like this? You know, the day's never born. You like his personality? It's never boring. I'm bored listening to him. It's what the fuck? He's just saying things for, I don't know, reaction or like, I don't understand. No, this is all me. You can't tell me you don't want a reaction from people when you say certain things. If I'm really trying to piss them off. Laying your dick on the table, that's not a reaction. You're not pissing everyone off. You're just saying things for, were you a fucking loser in high school? A little bit. Yeah, you're obsessed with high school. No reason. He's trying to make up for it. This is how people talk that we're fucking like losers. Yes. Okay. He's making up for it. Hey, you got the girl. Move the fuck on, dude. Noted. Move the fuck on. Get over it. There were good times in high school, but stop with this high school. I don't care. I digress. No one cares. You shouldn't care. Dude, I had a great high school experience. I love my high school. Okay. I hated high school. It was terrible. And that's great too. That doesn't matter. But I don't, like jerk off to high school. I love to it. It isn't the height of my life because my life isn't pathetic. If high school or college is the height of your life, you're not living life. You just moved on and just didn't do anything. It's not like I'm jerking my shit to the high school memories. I just, I reminisce about the good times I had in high school. My home life was shit then. And high school was my escape at the time. So, I mean, I just kind of reminisce from time to time and. Drowning in student loans with massive interest rates. I see it on the show all the time. People get a loan to advance their careers, only to be left with sky high interest rates and crazy minimums that leave their paycheck gutted. Maybe you've already gone to a normal lender to try to refinance your private student loans. And they looked at your less than perfect credit score and hung up the phone. Maybe part of you even thought, yeah, that tracks. I guess I'm stuck. Stop it. 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Stacey, but I'm being told you have trust issues of Mr. Aaron from some previous experiences or things. I don't know what's happening. If you're moving so quick with this guy and you're having these trust issues, like, what are they? That's bad. How will you rebuttal, Stacey? It's not a rebuttal, but if you are having trust issues of which I'm being told you haven't brought up yet, I want to hear them. I did almost leave that night, but basically during the Super Bowl. That night, oh, okay. During the Super Bowl, he had his old roommate come over and, you know, we were sitting there watching it and the old roommate looks at you and says, oh, so when are you going to pay me rent? And I looked at him because he told me that he stopped paying rent two months ago. And then like two weeks before that, when we went to Oregon for a trip, he, you know, you were like, oh, I have all this money now. You know, I feel so free and happy, which that was a lie too, obviously. And then, yeah, it finally came out that he was still paying him rent. How much was it, like $900? Like, why? Just to be nice, which you are way too nice sometimes. Wait, what's the trust issue? That he's like doing a buying trip? Yeah, he. But no, you were like a month in. Like, why would he even have to tell you what he's doing with his money? I know, but he shouldn't be paying your old roommate. Unless he's specifically lying. I mean, I agree he probably shouldn't, but. When I have to pay for all like the groceries and the damage deposits and the pet deposits and I'm struggling, he shouldn't be paying. But you guys, but you shouldn't be. That's the point. You shouldn't be taking care of everything a month into a relationship. It makes no sense and creates weird dependencies. But he has the money to pay other people rent. Exactly, and you shouldn't be taking care of someone a month into a relationship. This is like, you guys are just figuring out, having fun. For the record, I don't want her to take care of me. I'm just saying. But either way, you probably shouldn't have been giving him money. Why were you? It was very short notice to give my old roommate the heads up like, hey, I need to move out now. You didn't have a lease agreement with him though, so it's just not necessary. No, but it's the courtesy. I've been friends with. And that place is not worth $900 a month. I mean, no. That was not worth it. No, it's not. It should have been like $400 at the most. Goddamn peace of mind. I didn't have to worry about the tweakers in Everett. Jesus Christ, Monroe is probably the one and only place I don't have to feel like I have to bring my gun around. Anyhow, I was being nice. I told him I'd pay him about three months of rent when rent due comes. Which is insane. You don't have to do that. Okay, to be fair. No one asked you to do that. To be fair with that organ shit. Did he ask you to do that? No, he didn't have to ask. He's my friend. I wanted to help him. I wanted to help him out. And to be fair with that organ shit, by the way. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Help me out. For the organ shit, for the organ shit, I wasn't even paying him around that time. So that was the f***ing truth when I told you I actually feel so free. Oh, you didn't pay him for like a month? I didn't pay him for two months. No, that's bullshit. Bullshit. All right, for one of the months. I'll give you that one. See? Don't lie to me now. Why are you lying? I told you this is the point. Don't do that. What is the point? Why create trust issues this closely? Why lie? It was pointless. I don't get it. I just wish you could have been honest with me. Yeah, but it sucks. Is this like a repeated pattern? Just these lies for no reason to look better? Because what a stupid pointless thing to lie about. And if I catch someone lying about that, it makes me question everything. Because when there's actually consequential things talking about, well, I mean, earlier I felt like you were lying to me and now you just got caught on a small lie. It's like, I don't understand. I feel like I can't trust you. What? At the end of the day, I wanted to just, I wanted to just help him. And I'm sorry that you really picked up a lot of the burden of paying a lot of the bills, the food. Does he even pay rent to his dad? Yeah, of course he does. Okay, but that's not even, again, what matters. I mean, you can do what you want with your money, but if you're lying about it, that's the weird thing, right? Because we're not married. You're barely even in the relationship at that point. You were literally a month in if we're talking Super Bowl night. So it just, it makes no sense. I don't know. You guys are moving way too quick. It's scary. And then this is going to blow up and things are going to be intertangled. And I've had to deal with this on the show. Who people, exes have had money that's been already intertangled and we've had to like try to rip it apart. And it's weird. It gets f***ed up. And she says she's noticing sketchy behaviors on your transactions too. What are they? Should you even be noticing transactions five months in on a ship? Maybe, maybe that's okay. I just notice a lot of Zells. I've never seen so many Zell transactions. Is it Zell or is it something like PayPal or whatever? So many Zell transfers. Yeah, with Navy Federal it's Zell because it's baked into the app or the bank institution. I don't know, but why so many Zell transfers? Why do you need that much? Why can't you do like an automatic withdrawal or like have it like automatically put in your checking or something? There's so many Zells. It's so that I don't have a lot of money in my checking for all the bullshit that I pay for on my end. And then I won't have any money. I can at least control it to an extent. That just sounds exhausting. I mean, yeah. - I feel like that's not normal. - It's exhausting, but as you can feel, fucking see we're on the show my money management is shit so i mean but i'm also zelling you the most for all the wine you want me to get while i'm at work and then i feel like that's true i feel like you sell a lot of other people i can pull up my navy federal right now show it's a pop a hammer right here and he's gonna probably take my son i don't need to look okay okay you're buying her a lot of wine uh when i'm at work that much wine it's only when you go to costco the zelling thing is not the biggest issue but is that not a little bit of a wake-up call that that's quick into the relationship she's seeing zells and she's like already red flags and alarms are going off in her head she doesn't trust you already and you guys are moving so quick that when the honeymoon excitement ends the only thing that's going to be left is the lack of trust there's no foundation here other than excitement because a load got dropped on a day of a funeral so it's just going to be lack of trust that's left it's going to be fights it's going to be battles it's going to be brutal i just love costco i mean jesus christ they just what i mean yeah that's bad okay what nothing we all do a little bit but you know what yeah just a little pathetic a little bit what's wrong with you why can't you just listen it's scary that she can't trust you at this point when everything is so good what's it going to be when everything becomes normal the excitement is done it's his normal life that's going to be when everything becomes normal the excitement is done it's his normal life that's the point all that's going to be left is the lack of trust i mean you can trust me i've been pretty cards on the table about a lot of shit at this point we've gone through you've been good we've gone through our road bumps and pretty intense yeah i i will say they were very goddamn intense but you know i i love you a lot i love you very much i want to have kids with you someday god please no no no no guys like i'm also something that moves quick for trees new and exclusive holiday decor just launched online at the home depot check out the viral grand duchess collection with smart holiday lights you can control from your phone easily customize the twinkle across trees wreaths and garlands to match your holiday vibe create stunning light effects then switch it up with the top of your fingers even the man in red will be impressed shop the holiday decor you want online only at home depot.com man dude not even five months in at this point bro and also what road bumps at this point a few months in a lot of shit i won't go into a lot of it no why don't you go into a lot of it because you know hey remember when you're on a show to talk about things maybe you should talk about things you ain't give me a no no there was where's the no no i have the no no's i'm avoiding the no no's tell me the things that aren't the no no i'll just give you a brief summary but i'm not going to be very specific on what happened that night there was one night we went to a bar i said something i was very drunk mind you and i said something that was very a lot to take in i am not going to disclose what was said that night just understand it was really big bomb just you don't just set it out there i wasn't i wasn't yeah just go with it i wasn't with it i mean i know what it is and you didn't put it on the no no list for me instead you have a criminal past criminal right no i'm not i'm not going to disclose what the thing was i'm not disclosing whatever it was however i mean i it was a lot you didn't tell me not to talk about it it was a lot for her to take in it's the criminal record and whatever so we're about to go to bed i mean i would have trust issues with someone with a criminal record i'll be honest i i personally would we went to bed i got up and i left the house i was gone i went to some fancy bar in seattle and i spent like i don't know like looking a hundred dollars on drinks and food and i didn't come back until like four in the morning but i can't believe he brought his dad home though there's a lot i know but like i don't see why you need to like shouldn't you tell the person you're with you need to like bring your dad you need to like bring your dad that shit i didn't want to disclose it that fast and i wasn't oh you guys are moving quick on everything else i think if you guys are moving that quick you got to bump everything up with if someone's choosing who they're going to get that one on the chin fair enough bad setting with a little tv prompt and i was drunk i wasn't thinking about it and i it must have been pretty egregious for her to walk out that well i was trying to just talk about it later but she was like no what is it what is it what is it what is it you can tell me it's fine we're safe i love you you wanted to go to bed i couldn't go to bed i i had to leave what'd you do i'm not just no that bad i'm not disclosing it on here it must have been that bad for you not disclosing it i already heard that part that's why i'm not going to ask again but oh my goodness if you're not willing to talk about it and she left that night that has to be pretty fucking egregious that's all i'm thinking which honestly would make me nervous too that's probably also why you can't find a decent job no i'm not a felon i have a pretty clean record yeah i'm not a felon then what i don't understand well again i'm not going to ask again i'm not going to push your boundary if that's a boundary which i'm picking up that it is i don't know why you didn't tell me not to bring that up before but um i thought i did so my bad didn't but okay that's fine be more prepared next time there won't be a next time but be more prepared next time um okay yeah i mean so i would have trust issues too and now i mean i i'll be completely honest i have trust issues i mean i caught you in the little lies felt like you're big lying to me earlier and now there's this thing that you're being hyper vague about and i'm just gonna let you know based on a few episodes in the past i'm not gonna pressure you to tell me you do not have to tell me i'm very okay with you not telling me appreciate that thank you of course but i am gonna let you know based on previous episodes the vagueness makes it look worse than it likely is i'd rather take that on the chin okay i'll let you take it on the and i don't blame her for having that issue and again that is what scares me finances are one of the large leading causes for divorce in this country and if right now there's this big boiling pot of lack of trust but it doesn't matter as much because everything is so good everything's so honeymoon everything is so exciting what happens when that just becomes normal and all that's left is a steaming pile of lack of trust that's nervous for me personally especially if that's so quick i don't know i don't know yeah no i just don't do no i'm just wrong with it to me whatever you did to someone i i actually don't even know so i like i'm that was a joke i don't know what you did right but um listen i i don't know i mean aaron specifically avoids that you've lied or you've admitted that you've lied during money conversations with stace because you want to avoid the conflict that's what you told colton that's what you told colton you you lie in conversations and you're admitting to that how the f is there a future here i know he's worshipped you and that's some easy dick like very very good and you were able to get free housing out of it very good out of a divorce like come on i'm starting to connect some dots in my head why the f are you doing with this he does everything my ex-husband doesn't he uh cleans the house okay i don't think they can do that when they're overseas he was only gone for three months at a time but when he was home i did everything he actually is a contributing member to the household and it's really contributing lies and deception and well at least it doesn't feel like i'm taking care of a child like two times that i had a big i had told two big lies within a few months is pretty brutal actually that's actually a pretty bad track record that's pretty bad that's not good that's uh not good there mr aaron what do you lie about what do i lie about what did he lie about well what was the old roommate thing old roommate thing oh yeah that one's and then the fact that you lied about it is a bad thing not that you're doing it i mean i wouldn't advise you doing it but the lying i don't understand it was a pointless lie which is even worse than a lie that like you could have some reasoning for it makes it even worse and what's the other lie i don't actually made a mistake an overlap was there i don't think you've lied about i don't know you were telling colton that you've specifically lied to avoid confrontation in the financial conversations of the household i think i was mostly just referencing the old roommate thing because it i mean it was a very anything else well it was a broad no there's nothing else i mean okay just checking i i it was a very broad question to me in general so i just yeah i had replied with just the old roommate thing okay so what are we doing guys so what what the is even going on today because let's just be honest we can all we can all see it from here this is a f***ing lie mess this is a f***ing mess this early on in the relationship i don't know what you guys are doing i don't think you know what you guys are doing you guys are having fun which is fair which is fair have fun but does everything else have to move as quick with it i don't think so this is a mess guys this relationship's a f***ing mess what is going on i've always wanted her i'm not gonna i know you know you already know but it's exciting to get with your high school crushes that is that does that mean that that's who our spouse is for life i don't know and also would you like why even start the relationship but a lie well like the overlap and these other things it's like it doesn't make any sense we had went to christmas at her parents you know what was Was it last year? Yeah. She basically expressed concern about the whole roommate money thing, and I told her my thing on it. That was like a couple weeks after the diddling at the funeral. Okay, interesting. Why would you be so concerned about it at that point? That's invasive and intrusive. Because I was paying for everything at that point, and it just doesn't seem fair. He didn't have the money to pay for things. And if someone else is getting it that you're not even living with, then I just, it's not fair. So that confrontation does speak words, but for what it's worth with how you started the relationship, with how you've done it with your trust issues, you know one of the easiest ways to tell someone does something bad or thinks something bad is what they accuse the other person without any proof. And you accused her of cheating. You had to go through all her Instagram messages, all her text messages, all that shit. Why would you accuse her of that? It's not just unless there's like, actually, something that was seen, not a very normal thing to accuse. There is a specific, what was it? It was, she had went to a restaurant with her ex to talk about stuff. Yeah, she's getting a divorce. Let me, let me just elaborate a little more. I'll make it a quicker summary. It's okay. You know, she was in a good mood before I had to go walk the dog. I walked the dog. I come back, she's pissed. So I'm asking her what's going on. Ex-husband's being a dick, this and that, blah, blah, blah. And at some point, you know, I'm just like, can I just see like the messages for more context? Like, I feel like you're really not giving me enough to go off of. So I start reading it. She kind of starts shying away her phone. Like, no, let me see the text. And there was essentially some like affection, intimacy that was shared. It was not affection and intimacy. Okay. But you've kissed him after the dinner. Like that's kind of weird to me. There's no affection or intimacy. He scared you that much. Why are you going to let, let him do that? What am I supposed, I, you say, no, you're a woman in 2020, in 2026. There was no intimacy. Nothing happened. There was no flirting. So you're telling me if, if he was here right now and he tried to steal another kiss from me, you're going to let that shit happen. I'm not going to let that happen. He's gross. So why did you, why'd you kiss him in the first place? Why did you kiss him? That's actually kind of crazy. He's just, he, he just leaned in to kiss me and I just let it happen. You have no agency. Darkness, my old friend. Oh, shut up. He's a little scared. What was he going to do? Take out an ax and slice you in the middle of a restaurant. But you had told me a completely different story about what went down that night. You said you had dinner with them at Red Robins. You, after dinner, you went to half price books to calm down and you. Shop the stylish choices and simple pricing of carpet from home decorators, collectors, traffic master or life proof with pet proof technology and see for yourself why nobody beats our prices. Exclusions apply for licenses. See home depot.com slash license numbers. Got your little sister's son a book. That is not what the. I did get him a book. Yeah, but then you also bought your ex-husband a book. To be fair, I didn't buy him the book. You both went. To half price books together by accident. You guys went to half price books together. You got him a book. Oh, that's where he goes. Going to half price. That's like a date activity. Thank you. That was like right across the street. That's why I was so concerned. If you were just straight up with me on that shit and I am a hypocrite, I'm a hypocrite at this point because I lied to you about the rent shit. Hold the fuck on. The thing is you could have told me very straightforward. Like, Hey, this is what happened. Something was a little exchanged, went to half price books, and then we left. I was still would have been very fucking upset, but then you decided as soon as I called you out on it, as soon as I called you out on it, you start freaking the fuck out. Like I was going to. I don't know how you're going to react. I had to give you space. I've been through a lot. This isn't helping. Let's actually get you angrier. One thing you don't know is that, uh, yeah, she has like, fully just gone out and sent her X flowers while you guys are together. Why collaborate on that shit? I don't know why. I mean, don't hit her. I agree with that. I'm not going to hit her. I don't hit women. That's I don't know. That was her fear. Okay. Fair enough. If I loved him, I would send him the boat title with my signature on it. Do you realize how that sounds? Why would he be texting you after you guys are going through divorce and you're with him? If you loved him, if you loved me, if you loved me, you'd send me the boat title. Why would he even have that language? I don't know why he would have that language. And so instead I, I sent him flowers and he was not pleased about it. I thought it was kind of funny. He didn't get, he didn't get the boat title. Hold on. Let me, let me try to, he was get in your mind, Sarah, real quick. So cards on table. Was this like a dominance thing to flip them? Or was there still a little bit of like dominance thing? It's like when I bought him a Starbucks, when we were exchanging dominance, like you kissing him. No, I didn't kiss him. I didn't kiss him. I didn't kiss him. That's not what that text said. I didn't kiss him. What did the text say? Wait, what did the text say? I can't, I can't remember. I have no clue who you're even referring to. I can't really remember at this point. Cause it was long ago. That was a long night by the way. But it was something like. You guys have been together five months. How long ago? It was something along the lines of like, you're switching up how you feel now. We exchanged a kiss. Like, why are you so backpedaling on what you said that night? You exchanged a kiss. That's gold pushing. Cause you were saying he kissed you on the nose. That's not exchanging a kiss. He did not kiss on the lips. That didn't happen. Show me the text then. I don't have the texts. Why? I delete them or else I keep looking back at them. I get anxious. Why would you keep looking back at the text with your ex? I have no self-control. What are you self-controlling from? It makes me anxious. That's why I haven't blocked on everything. I don't want to go back and look at stuff. What are you having self-control from? Yeah. Looking back. What would you be having self-control, self-control doing what? I don't know. Just, it's just hard. What is? You're just saying nothing. 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Go to that link or click the link in the description below or scan the QR code on screen to start earning 3.75% APY. Don't put this off. Sign up today and actually make your money work for you. Let's get back to the show. It's like you're in the hot seat, Stacey. He tried to specifically turn off the vanish mode auto-delete stuff on your phone and you wouldn't let him. Well, why are you turning on auto-delete? You think you'd want to- Because he can't trust you after you f***ing exchanged a kiss with a guy and now saying it was on your nose, no. Yeah, but if he's turning on auto-delete on my phone, then it just gets deleted. What's the point of that? If you can't go in and look at things later, why are you turning auto-delete on my phone? No, he tried to turn it off. Yeah. Auto-delete off. It was already- It wasn't on. I saw you- Oh, are you talking about the disappearing messages shit? That shit was literally on. It was not on. It was on. It was already on. It was not on. I turned it off. I have no clue how to turn that on. Let's just swipe up. I get it. I love a good disappearing goon message when I'm in the goon zone. You could look at it on my phone any time. Because people like to do crazy things with influencers, so I don't want to fuck with that shit. You goon that shit crazy, so? But you guys are together, and let me be very clear, no open? No. Well, there you go. Then I would be very, very sketched out if I looked over and the girl I'm with is having vanish mode conversations with her ex-husband. I didn't have it on. You turned it on. I will say, to be fair, the only thing- Because I know the guy. The only thing, they actually talk about. They don't even talk. They just send memes. - Why'd they kiss? That's a different person. Different person. Oh, wait. What the fuck? Who was that? What were you referencing? Well, I'm talking about. You're probably talking about my ex-roommate. No, I didn't kiss anybody. He's confused. No, you did. Who'd you exchange a kiss with? Nobody. The ex-husband. Yeah. Okay. But there's no vantage point with the ex-husband? I see the cross connection. Okay. So we were talking about the whole Red Robin situation, right? And then she jumped. I'm going to assume that you jumped to where you were talking about the disappearing messages on Instagram, right? Yeah. Okay. So there was a jump in the conversation. Okay. So that's where we got mixed up. Is it not a red flag, though, Stacey, that Aaron's friends warned you to. Oh, wait. Sorry. Sorry. Actually, reverse. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no. One of your friends told you, warned you about her before you guys got together. She's a. But is that not a red flag a little? That's not a red flag. And then you kissing your ex. Come on. There is a whole situation. He's hated me. Or she's hated me since high school. There is a whole. She's just fake as fuck. There is a whole situation with them in high school. And at the end of the day, to an extent, I sided with that friend. However. She's nuts. She wanted my other friend to pay for prom. The whole thing. I don't know. Is Everett a small town? No. No. Well, at this time, we were going to. Why are you all so obsessed with prom in high school still? It's so weird. Oh, I didn't go to prom. I thought that shit was dumb as. Anywho. Great. Yeah, you're really. I heard her fucking. Dude, you were a loser. You didn't have prom. Yeah, no shit. I was also poor. That was it. She was able to tell me her side of the story, which lined up pretty well with what I was told on that friend's side. So I was like, okay, I can. She's hated me since the beginning. Yeah, nuts. She's hated my twin sister, too. Yeah, because mine. You guys started with basically cheating from both sides. Like, you kissing your ex and you with the overlap. It's like, what the fuck are we doing? She's just jealous because she wants to fuck him. And this relationship has no foundation. That's what it is. No. Is that what it is? I think she wants to fuck you really bad. There is a point where I knew she was into me, but I wasn't. I was not. That's because she asked for a four-way. That's weird. Yeah, I was a really big fan of that. Who would be the fourth? My girlfriend at the time. Not the 40-year-old, but. Who would be the third, then? Her and her husband. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. We all banged in the same room. I wasn't really into it afterwards. No swapping. There wasn't any swapping. It wasn't like that. Just kind of happened that night and shit. Okay. No, I wasn't really into it afterwards. I felt very gross. I would, too, probably. Yeah. No, it was bad. Do you want it? Do you want it? It was so bad. But see, here's the thing. They kept f***ing with me on the subject. Like, oh, we're going to bang your girlfriend. Like, it's going to happen again. Didn't they make like a group chat or something? I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. It was bad. If she warned you about her, why would she do that? I assume she still has a lot of residual resentment. Or because you guys both started this relationship on borderline cheating. On both sides. Come on. Crazy. Well, she's defending him. There is no foundation here. She's coming to, like, you know, save him. I don't care. There's no foundation to this relationship. I don't even understand the point. Guys. I mean, come on. It totally is. There's no longevity here. And if there is, it's going to be misery eventually. I like to think my passion will overpower all that bullshit. The past was five months ago. No, no, no. Passion. Passion? Passion. Jesus Christ. Read a goddamn book. Read a book? What are you? You don't learn that in a book. My passion will overpower all the short-term bullshit. You were saying, like, passion. No, that's the thing. That's what I'm specifically saying. Is that this passion, this fiery moment, the honeymoon phase will end. And then nothing's left. It started with cheating, trust issues along the way. Nothing's there. I want to make this. Free housing and free money. That's all there is. I don't want her f***ing money, though. Uh-huh. No. If I really wanted her money, I would ask her all the time to pay off my car. I would always ask her to buy me f***ing booze. I'm not going to f***ing do that. Wine and booze? Do you guys drink a lot? Eh. A little above average, but, you know, who's counting? Well, this ship's going to go down in flames, guys. Yeah, we're also blue-collar, so, I mean. What? That's a terrible excuse. I come from a very blue-brown-collar family. What? Everyone drinks. Every, a lot of, most blue-collar people drink. Actually, no, the ages you guys are drinking has fallen off the cliff dramatically. Wait, really? Yes, really. Yeah, I think Gen Z is, like. Gen Z adults, yes. Really? Yes. Do they smoke more than? I'm sorry, just because you're an alcoholic. Like, doesn't mean everyone else around you is. Just because you're a cheater doesn't mean everyone else around you is. Just because you're a liar doesn't mean everyone else around you is. I didn't cheat, but. That's not how this world works. Yeah, all right. Read a book. Read a book. A good one. Yeah. Okay. What do we think? Combined financial scores? F***, I mean, I don't advise combining, but if that's your guys' entire goal, sure, I'll meet you there, but am I doing a separate budget or a budget together? What are we trying to do, guys? Where am I going from here? Actually asking, are you willing? Are you willing to do both just to see where we're kind of at, or would you prefer? Separately or together? I mean, both separately, and then we do the together budget. I want us to eventually come together. I mean, we don't split things very fairly as it is. Well, maybe it should be together, then. Okay, what do we think our household financial score is together, then? Zero to 10. I actually meant to take that test before this, but. Well, what do you think it is? Yeah, that didn't happen. Two. I was going to say two. Yeah. Or like 1.5. 1.5. That test is at calebhammer.com. Get your Hammer Financial Score for free. See where you stand in the world of money. Where you're doing poorly, where you're doing great. What you have to do to get from that poorly to great. And if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up in the show, make sure you download the Dollar Wise budgeting app. It is what they will use after this. What they get for free forever, and what you should get the free trial. See if you like it. And if you do, sign up for the annual version. It'll save a lot of money. And when you do, I will personally sign my detailed 30-day meal plan that goes into detail every meal, every drink, every snack you make for every day of the month for meal prepping, sticking to a budget. This thing is incredible. It has saved people a lot of money. I'll sign it and mail it. Directly to you. Dollarwise.com. Link below or just download the app. You're very pretty. What are you doing after this? Dude. Yeah. You're rough, man. We could. Aaron. What? You're trying to risk the guy. You're some white reading for you. Oh, f*** a book. This f***ing freak was obsessed with you during high school? Why the f*** did you go back? Yeah, I'm kind of surprised about that, too. He's my best friend. He was my best friend in high school. Tell you what, I'm really f***ing lucky for this one. This is good s***. That's it. Sorry, you guys go do your thing. Dude, I do not. What is this personality called? I've met a few people like this in my life. A douchebag is what it's called. No, it's not douchebag. You're not a douchebag. You're like, dude, you're f***ing. There's something wrong with you. I appreciate it. And you're like putting on like a, your life is a performance. It's so weird. What is this? Yes. What is this, Brandon? Lindsey? Oh, s***. Hey, guys. We all know things like this. Obnoxious. Oh, a performative. Like, cringe lord. Redditor. Redditor. Oh, yes. Oh, s***. You a B-tard? You a B-tard, bro? You're doing it still. Yeah, he doesn't know. It's all good. No one knows. Did you make this yourself? I've never like, I mean, I can, I guess I can be kind of like a verbal bully. I've never wanted to be a physical bully, but I kind of want to kick your ass right now. Now, I don't think I'd necessarily be able to, but I really feel the, there's, I think, some natural evolutionary instinct to like. You like to. Like harm you. You like Caleb Smash? You feel like doing the. Oh. I am nowhere near a cool individual, but you are just, what you are, man. It's just, you are Reddit born. Please tell us what a B-tard is. Everyone is typing in the document curious, because no one knows what this is. I honestly. I don't know what that means. I don't know. Are you just making s*** up? No, that's an actual term on Reddit. I don't. You are a Redditor. Oh, what's happening? No, no, no, no. He put this gauge just in everything. We knew it. Oh, you're a f***ing fool. You're a freak. I'm not an actual Redditor, if anything. Yes, you are. You're an elder millennial Redditor. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're a lurker. I will look s*** up. You're a hard lurker. So I'm playing Dark Souls. I'll look s*** up on like, where's this boss? This and that. Reddit always has the f***ing answers. You have one problem currently that someone had 10 f***ing years ago. There was always an answer on that specific goddamn problem. So what's a B-tard? I don't know. I got it from a game. Wouldn't they have the answer for that? They could. Why don't you look it up real quick? You got the little fancy. A B-tard frequenter of 4chan's notorious random image board. Isn't that just you? You think that's what Brandon is? Isn't 4chan. She. Yes, it is! Let's go into the first one. Should we look at your Reddit history? No. It's hot in here. Can I. Stop. Can I go make a call? Stop. It's very hot. Is it a joke? It's very. Yeah, he's just joking. Is he making a joke? He's doing like elder millennial. Millennial performance. Cringelord. Sweating. Yeah. It's very hot right now. And you like this. And you get. This gets you wet. This is. Like, that's impressive. My day's never boring. Shit, apparently. You're biological. This is. It's very. He is. Elder millennial Cringelord, everyone. Look at the shirt. What? Oh, yeah. I just thought I'd, you know. Dude. Oh. Oh, thank you so much. I appreciate it. Oh, there's a ponytail. I never even saw that. There's a ponytail? Oh, no, it's braided. I braided his hair before we came on this show. Bro. Oh, my goodness. I got long hair, you know? Sometimes if I want to make it easier for her when she pulls my hair, you know, it's good shit. I'm okay saying. I won't get canceled saying this because you're a white man, but we need to put people like you in a camp. This shit is. Dude, we need to. Wait, is it for concentration? Yeah, kill me now. Anywho, so. That's what I was advocating for in Minecraft. So, whose card is this? This Venture one. Mine. Okay, you're the. He doesn't have any credit cards. You're the one that makes money. What the fuck is wrong with you? It's red, which means. What is it? What is it? There's fees being. Stacey, what the possible is wrong with you? I didn't have a debit card for a little bit. When I left the house, I didn't. Exclusions apply. I have a debit card, yeah. Why? I took, I just didn't have time. What are you, huh? I, I. But I didn't have Apple Pay. I, I didn't have, I don't have Apple Pay. Apple Pay is dumb. What? I don't know how to use Apple Pay. What? I don't know. I hate Apple. Okay. Isn't that, isn't that an iPhone thing? Yes, you're a Redditor Android user. We know who you are. Oh, he is. I don't have any credit. I just use it for the answers. Jesus. Then let me look at your history. Anyway. Oh, I can't log in. What? Damn, yeah. Crazy shit. Actually, you know. Bro, you're so cooked right now. Crazy as shit. You know, they actually, like, just deleted the app. It's, it's a whole thing. Anyways, what happened was I just quickly left the house. I took half the money out of the bank account. And then I didn't open a bank account until, like. I hate him. He's the worst. I get that. I get that a lot. He's the worst human I've ever met. I've said that a few times, but you are still. You might top ten. No, you're the worst. Top five. Number one is what I'm saying. Dude, I feel like I'm, like, number two. When I say the worst, it means the worst. Yes. So, yes. What's happening with this, Stacey? Girl. I took all the money. Stacey, pause again. Okay. I'm sorry. I did ask you, and then I interrupted you immediately. That's okay. Stacey, as a girl's girl, I must. Girl's girl. Advocate for you. Save your girls. Ooh. Ooh. This is when you don't talk. Listen, it's fun right now. This cannot be the guy you're with. I don't ever say this in, like, actual reality, but I'm saying this in reality right now. This is not the guy to be with. It's fun. He was high school. You're a part of friend groups. You probably. You got some good things in common. Congratulations. You got one that cleans. Wonderful. You can get a lot of those. It sounds like you had a shitty ex. Don't. Just because the ex was shitty, don't settle with this blue-skied Redditor freak cringelord. Please, please, you can do so much better. Stacey, you can do so much better. You can go get a solid five out of ten that's going to be so much better than this guy. You have no idea. Shit, am I a six? I feel like he's not going to be as funny as him. I knew it was coming. I knew. I was going to say if you said it, you'd come. I knew you were going to go there. You are the most predictable, pathetic mother. I didn't come yet. Stacey, please. Please leave this man. Stacey, there is a gorgeous man named Mark right behind you. That is ten times better. Ten times better than this pathetic individual. He's very hot, by the way, I will say. Oh, my God. You got to crush on everybody in here. You got to pop a blood vessel. You got Mark. You got Lindsey. No, no, no. You're my biggest crush. I'm just being near you. Is it that good? Is the dick that good? It has to be. There is nothing else that makes sense. I'm not angry about it. That has to be it. I'm not mad. I get in that shit crazy style. Dude. Dude. Five months. You're going to be 15 months in? Dude, you might be the first guest on the show that kills herself. Oh, my God. I don't want you, dude. You need to leave this man. Now, she'll kill me before she does herself. I mean, that's just mandatory shit. I don't want to look at him. Like, I've never had this struggle. I can't. I'm sure I have. He's cute. I think he's cute. It's not a matter of looks, dude. It's personality. It's the worst personality I think I've been around. Um, leave him. Okay, so what's happened with this? Listen, no matter how bad you are, I will actually just permanently feel bad for you because you're with him. So, I won't even yell at you for this. What's going on? So, just to kind of like restart my story, I left the house before my husband got home. Please leave the house permanently. Very soon. I took half the money out of our bank account and for a little bit, I didn't have a debit card because I was just kind of like fight or flight, like get out of there. You need to fight or flight. Get the f*** out of this relationship. I don't want to fight or flight from everything. But, um, yeah, for what's about a month, I'd say. Maybe like three weeks. I didn't have a debit card. So, like, you know, I paid a lot of stuff with cash. I put a lot of stuff on the credit card. I needed stuff for the apartment because we really didn't have much furniture. Oh, well, we had all of our old stuff, but, you know, we needed like a couch and like kitchen stuff. So, I just put everything on the credit card. You still want to do that boneless couch shit? I don't think now's the time to talk about a boneless couch. Yeah, fair enough. It's fair. It's fair. Um, but yeah, or is that one the one I put my lawyer fees on? I think that's what Capital One. I don't know. I don't f***ing know. How would I know? I'm not the guy who f***ing spent shit on this. I don't see. I don't see your entire purchase history of your life. I see the last month. And what does the last month say? It says past due. Why are you past due? I don't think it was past due. Okay, you were past due. Stacy, are you f***ing? You were past due. If it says past due, it means past due. Past due is past due. It wasn't past due. It's right there. It's late. Not, maybe not credit statement late, but it is past due. I didn't think about it at the time. I was going through a lot. What were you going through? Going through a lot. You were with him. You're going through a lot daily. I get it. I understand. Take that one. Well, in the very beginning, I was sleeping on the floor of the apartment. You weren't moved in yet. That was pretty hard. Air mattress. Pretty sad. Air mattress. Not any better. Yeah, I'll take that one on the chin. And at that time, I didn't work for like a month. I took a break. I needed a break. Are you getting madder and madder? No, I'm not getting madder. I'm just, honestly, I'm shutting down. I'm shutting down, man. You're just. I just need you to stop talking. Okay. I would like to continue with her. It's just like, oh my goodness. Do you want to kiss a little? You've been late two months this year. Yeah. Why? It's two months this year as of a couple months ago, meaning it's probably been worse at this point. Stacey, what the. What the are you doing? Is this why you're actually with him? Because you wouldn't be able to survive on your own? Because you're right. I don't think you'd be able to. Not if you're behind on credit cards. If that's actually the reason, tell me afterwards when he's not here and we can f***ing rescue you. Because you need to get the f*** away from this loser. Do not have kids with him. If this is the reason, I understand it. That is a valid reason to feel that way. Feel. I can't give you a good reason why I was passed too. This is the reason you won't leave. Stacey, is it? Please? No, you can tell me afterwards. I get it. I get it. I wouldn't say it on camera either. Tell me afterwards and we'll get you a f***ing hotel for a month or something, dude. We need to get you out of this. Five stars? We got to get you out of this, man. Discover it. What's going on? My discover card is the one I put all my. I'm sorry. I didn't even say the balance for the last one. So distracted by this creature. Okay. Okay. Venture one. You owe. Nine thousand five hundred eighteen dollars and thirty three cents. Yeah. You and you're behind a couple months. It's probably like a normally like two hundred fifty payment. I'm going to say the course you're behind. You're getting fees added. Interest is accruing. It takes twenty six years to pay off. If you're still with him at that point, you will have lived the worst life. I need you can have a better life. It must be hard because you guys have a shared friend group, right? Yeah. Shit. So you can't. You can't because if you leave and then the finances are harder and that shit. Then. Oh, shit. Oh, I'm in the friend group. Oh, gross. So what have you done to yourself? You didn't have to do this. You should not have mixed. You should not have mixed fun and friends. It's a mess. It all explodes in the end. Not to be fair. I don't talk to a lot of the people. Honestly. Good. So it doesn't matter. Please just go on. I kind of hate everybody. I'm fine. So it's true. It's crazy. Don't hate me. I mean, Jesus Christ. Let me come on to the show wearing a shirt that says pee, pee, poo, poo, poo, poo, pee, pee, pee, pee, poo, poo. I mean, me, man. Like, this is bad. I'm getting audible reactions from people behind you that are shaking their head. No, you are. And what? Nobody likes you. I'm so sorry to say this. This is so mean, but nobody likes you. That's too mean. No, no, no. That's like too mean. Honestly, it's really fair. No, no, no, no. Pause. It's like I call people and all this stuff, but it's always cheeky. And it's always it's with fun. It's one. When I say nobody likes you, I mean it. And that's like that feels too mean. It feels too mean. Like, I feel bad. No, no, no, no, no. I feel bad. Let me feel bad. Shut up. You can't tell me how I feel. I feel bad. Take it. Oh, fuck. Okay, never mind. What? No, nothing. What's up? Can you join me for the second half of this? I just need I need someone to bounce it. I need just a normal guy. Oh, you're like the embodiment of like, no, no, honey, I'm good. I should not. Yes. I'm going to go through life with a good attitude or try to. I'm technically a millennial by like a year. And I'm okay with it. I have no problem with my generation or the generation below me, your generation. I have a problem with you. You. I love you, Papa Hammer. Fuck, dude. Brandon, I can't. I can't. Yes. I can't. Let it flow. How do you actually feel about this? I have to know. You have to be just struggling right now. How do you feel a little tense? This is a little hard. A little. Well, this guy is just. doing this he's handling it well he's handling it well he's cracking this is well jokes i don't know if i'm handling it well no no starbucks is bullshit and a waste of money and you already know that by making your coffee at home and investing the rest so now you need to do that with your energy drink as well make gamer subs at home for just 40 cents a serving and honestly it literally tastes better and we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our hammer elite show fat and fatter the number one ranked energy drink is game literally the cherry flavor is insane listen you can also get free samples to see if you like it or 10 off your order at gamersubs.gg or click that link in the description below type in code caleb stop bleeding out money making minimum payments across multiple high interest accounts most americans are spending hundreds sometimes thousands of dollars that could be going toward actually paying down debt instead of aligning some banks pockets and look if you're sitting on high interest credit card debt a car loan at 18 or oh my goodness a payday loan charging you triple digit interest rates you need to hear this if you've already cut up the cards and built better financial habits but you're still drowning in interest payments barely making progress this is for you i have opened my very own marketplace a personal loan marketplace that lets you get personalized offers from multiple lenders in one place you can see if you pre-qualify in minutes and it won't impact your credit score but here's the deal this isn't a magic bullet if you refinance your debt but keep swiping you're just making the problem worse you still need to fix the behavior that screwed you in the first place but if you're serious about getting out of debt faster you could potentially lower your monthly payment by securing a single payment at a monthly rate of $1,000 a month much better rate check out the link in the description below to see your personalized offers or go to calebhammer.com and remember you still got to do the work that's well what is he like normally please just maybe you could sometimes we do guest translations translate for me what the f**k i'm trying to say because i don't even know what i'm trying to say i'm shutting down here out of just millennial cringe please please you have very pretty eyes i'm gonna write down some numbers please do some things to translate for me you sir yes are incredibly cringy that's fair you're coming across like a 4chan redditor crossbreed yes it's not a compliment good how should he behave like a normal adult you say caleb you have a really good point there i will take that into heavy consideration okay are you tense enough what advice would you give for him because uh i mean brandon's a cool dude he you know uh he he's also friends with his high school people but you know they're they're cool people uh it's they're probably everything you wish you were i'll be honest what advice would you give for this man so that he could act just like a normal person yeah because he f**king needs it what i recommend all right is you try to do something cool after high school okay so that you don't have to keep referencing high school elaborate like okay like you commit crime and then right work for the maintenance but if you didn't do that you could do something really really really cool and level up and then you could impress her as opposed to embarrass her in front of the millions you know what honest answer you make a very good point then why do you keep behaving this way i ain't gonna lie man i'm pretty goddamn nervous i'm about pissed my pants it's okay to be nervous everyone's nervous who comes on the show that happens three to four times a week every upload you see is nervous people people don't act like you fair and she says this is you doing well she said he's doing well i think i'm doing well okay i really appreciate you're doing it again you do make a good point is this what how what would you call that we keep calling it reddit and maybe that's what it is well like what is it nobody read it at this point it's twitter i mean jesus christ i don't have a twitter okay that's fine you're saying he's doing well what is he like normally this is a personality audit real quick for the last 10 minutes i mean he's usually like that he's pretty yeah this is a normal occurrence i'd say it's pretty normal it's pretty on brand for him okay it's never boring it's never boring i think we would prefer boring boring i think boring if that if the all-time best is boring i think it's boring if the all-time alternative is boring that sounds kind of sick you know how about how about we do this can i throw a genuine suggestion out there how about i do genuinely five minutes of boredom and then we can see the difference does that sound good i don't know about boredom i just want you to act normal no so okay so five minutes of normalcy how about that normalcy would be great why don't you just act like a human yes you don't have to be cringelord reddit fortune freak got it what in life it's a personality audit i'm just telling you to fucking do again i'm not a perfect embedment of just like i just saw a shirt oh shit really i'm just so proud of it did you see that oh my i tie-dyed it semi-recently he did his own tie-dye oh she helped me with that do not enable i thought we had five minutes of normal i i'm being genuine no i know you're being genuine all right you know what it was fun normalcy starts now okay we'll start it now okay who's the discovery who is me okay what the fuck is wrong with you what is wrong with you i get it i'd be co-spending like crazy amazon amazon yeah i that that has all my amazon purchases on it he has a gun right he does yeah i have one too it is it is back at home locked in a gun safe about say security and yours who has access to the safe just me and that's the problem i have my own safe that's where i keep all my cash that's not my concern yours is in your safe yes you have access to it my own safe yes can we please make sure you have no access to any weapon that can be put in a mouth okay in the future because i don't know how long you're going to be on this earth i like to think that's a reasonable request okay five minutes of normalcy we we made it starting now we made it 90 seconds again we've got 90 seconds god damn it we should start a timer i can do that should i do that all right amazon amazon amazon amazon google okay let's just show your amazon dude that's what's up hers shut your dick are you the upgrade are you this guy this is you is this you this is you no i think that's your i think that's my clarna is that or yeah probably give me your amazon okay okay amazon you want me to take it to orders yeah okay show me your amazon amazon thank you they are an android household i saw two things in the car let's see that means nothing to me okay shut up you have a girl okay okay maybe you guys are made for each other my goodness i just i don't understand why do you want let's go back to your just your absolute dream okay high school why did you want her so bad what was like what are you fucking doing so i'm gonna give you a general or genuine answer no bullshit why would you bullshit me because i've been me the whole time so he's been me the whole time so be you yeah yeah yeah i'm being me so i really was into her in high school because we shared a lot of general interests that i didn't really have in common with a lot of people her knowledge on like retro gaming stuff was she was the one other person who could really go toe-to-toe with me on it we agreed on a lot of philosophies and whatnot and i'd like to still have the same outlook on life what is that i need to know what are people like you even believing these days uh just as is that a broad question or outlook of life okay um don't be a dick i mean that's pretty you've been kind of a dick but i have too but that's my show yeah also the cheating thing not great line not good continue you're breaking your policy continue it's pretty policy breaking um i mean just in general like love your life how you want we're not all here for a long time but a fun time and you guys have a very good time you're right no one else believes those things don't be a dick and live life okay yeah you would have never met anyone else who thought that i don't know politics i don't like doing politics it's just gets fucking money you don't have beliefs i don't sorry i don't like discussing politics in general they get we're not going to discuss to say what your beliefs are just what i believe what are your beliefs uh core core core okay core beliefs um i i think taxes are fair to a certain extent as long as they're not ridiculous i want to keep my gun don't take away my line that's all shit he's more libertarian but he seems like reddit leftist millennial i'm so confused is that libertarian yeah oh okay is that anti-government like well you don't even know where your political beliefs i just consider myself independent I don't like picking a side to be honest. - I don't think we're educated enough to have an opinion opinion no you know what that's a good philosophy keep that and don't yeah okay okay yeah you're buying a lot of kids things you have a kid no but it's for my nephew's birthday he just turned two i don't even care about this anymore oh my god that was quick yeah oh uh ticket master ticket master okay ticket master we just have friends sons of monsters and men money we had to see him oh that was so good that was a fun concert that was so fun oh my gosh he killed it reddit you should have seen his poster oh my god i like him as i think i like him as a dude i don't know i mean texted a couple times he almost came on the show like i have nothing against him but you guys are just why are you the most stereotypical people ever like the whitest kids okay okay he didn't say oh fair enough also some of that is probably ever clear and i direct oh yeah i buy direct glasses that's fine listen that's not the issue the issue is where you got these from oh yeah yeah the glasses that's what she got from the glasses place thank you okay ninety three dollars eighty nine cents is your minimum there two hundred fifty dollars seventy three cents is your payment it's very affordable calculator shut up fair enough thank you vernon i appreciate you and that's you you are you you are my translator because that's exactly what i was thinking that's that's exactly what i was thinking you can also translate my desire to kick his ass if you ever feel like it i i think that's pretty straightforward yes i would just like to see it happen yes sir i did not say that i did not think that no we you thought it okay a car i think is what i'm seeing here yeah of twenty thousand it was a twenty thousand dollar car oh okay so it's my turn yes it is a uh toyota camry se so 2021 it's not been your turn this entire episode no you've been speaking the entire time yes you're retarded you're toyota camry yes how do you feel about the word i don't give a shit words are words man yeah he did no okay okay you can call me the most up shit you really want the end of the day i could really give a shit how you feel about me what i care about give a shit no i i don't give a shit oh sorry um i could not give a shit about how you really feel as long as you're just honest with it you can call me the most up shit to my face and i'll shake your hand afterwards i'm not touching you yeah i don't blame you i wash my hands after i piss so don't worry so you should blame me then about wait what why are you talking about washing my hands clean then you know why like wouldn't he want to shake your hand yeah he doesn't have to shake my hand okay the end of the day but i'll i'll go out and offer you a handshake no no well there you go see i love you so yeah about the car um pretty much what happened with that is i gotta why do you keep saying that you love me well him but i desire touch you don't have to be with him so really don't i had a apparently not a small town lots of other people you went to high school with if that's the requirement a lot of gross people there example a uh i'm from snohomish at that time yeah okay i'll take that so yeah i got the what the did you just say i got the car no what did you just say that was a that wasn't english yeah it wasn't gonna make sense i just kind of i'm from snohomish that's what she said yeah it's a different town yeah like we care no oh my dude so should i go into the car or do you do you want yes please okay cool so i had a high-end elantra it was 2016 couple years back that got totaled wasn't my fault car was parked someone backed into it knocked it 10 feet um so the insurance policy i had because it was full coverage enterprise gave me a loaner it was the same car i have now i love that car great and reliable i went to enterprise then put a or i got it on a zero down loan because i didn't have the money at the time and still paying it why'd you have to say all that to say you got a zero down loan car i'm just lord dumping man i mean what do you want me to do with anything i don't know to tell you about my current car now do i have to tell you about my first car i got from my fucking family i would have asked how you got it to be fair and what did i'm starting back with my previous cars i would have just said i went to the dealership and purchased is this the part where you translate for him or shut up thank you i don't think that car is worth it it actually is it's worth 19 000 you know 19 800 so what i would actually do is sell it and borrow 11 000 hours get a 10 000 car use the one and pay it off do you want a truck honestly i don't give a fuck can i i don't care for what it's worth this actually sucks the feel and i think i felt it counted on one hand in the how many episodes have we uploaded over 500 um and i can count on one hands people that like hey you can do that but if you don't like i don't give a i just don't care if it doesn't work it's just like i care about you because you're a person unfortunately you're not yeah so it's just like okay you got it eight percent sex for you man yes do something with that i don't know i think i got it at 6 30 i don't care is that in another story i don't please don't tell me no just comment when i ask your credit score is it gonna be what your first credit score ever was when you first saw it sorry i'm being mean okay i gotta stop colton i'm being mean i'm sorry please keep going i'm being mean please lindsey mika everyone audience i'm sorry i'm not trying to you don't know if go to go to like a like i am a nerd i'm an i like going to like the the board game places that you can like play things i like that that's fun but just go to one find the most millennial looking individual sit across from him for an extra for an hour 30 minutes which is what i've done right now and you will you will understand the feeling that i'm playing yugioh new and exclusive holiday decor just launched online at the home depot check out the viral grand duchess collection with smart holiday lights you can control from your phone easily customize the twinkle across trees wreaths and garlands to match your holiday vibe create stunning light effects then switch it up with the top of your fingers even the man in red will be impressed shop the holiday decor you want online only at homedepot.com shots your face who has wells fargo i have wells fargo okay you have a lot of money in there five thousand that's good oh that shit nope nope nope that's savings well which is that's good well no it's not shit went down from 7500 you're thinking of 2000 yeah to fix my car okay that is what savings is for i can appreciate that but checking went down from 2400 to 546 and you're getting mexican food steam purchase bullshit you're going to gas station getting some bullshit what are you going to the gas station getting some bullshit probably a celsius yeah you are okay brandon was already looking he knows what's coming we all know what's coming right on cue they're good you don't deserve it no you know what no no no no no flavor for them get gamer subs it's 40 cents to serving after my discount code you just ruined it you were going to get a free tub which would be 40 well actually zero cents to serving because it'd be free get your free samples use my code caleb link in the description below it's better than energy drinks cough you get nothing fair enough i might sneak one to you afterwards okay you get nothing i'll look away okay blazing paddles blazing paddles blazing paddles you can say it again too if you want oh blazing paddles no not i don't know what that is honestly you spent 34 dollars there i i couldn't tell you arcc quiet now shut up he's just making a dumb joke inside joke oh that's a great place to do it on a podcast with people you don't know in front of millions of people you are a gem i thought it's oh too eh depending on depending on your views how did you still oh my mom was on math when she had me oh yeah yeah collective yeah see now it makes sense yeah yeah ice was crazy in hawaii let's move on to getting more bullshit and telling on money and getting more bullshit and half-priced books oh that's where you're going to make it out with your ex that's great and going and getting some bullshit getting some bullshit mcdonald's getting some bullshit folks getting some pho razzles razzles for 128 dollars of razzles razzles what's razzles i don't know what it is it's like yeah well you spent a lot of money there that was the night we had our big fight parking yeah uh cookies i think oh that's where you confess to being a criminal which we'll never know more about it looks likely worse than it is hopefully except with you maybe not maybe it is worse than it looks uh spencer's gifts fantastic bullshit susie okay bullshit bullshit listen you're spending a lot of money on but i'm just it's just so much money it's so stupid i'm just i'm saying i'm just kind of done like i don't i don't care i don't care i don't like you guys i mean you're okay i really don't like you fair statement am i can i okay i need a vote because i'm going to be actually mean for a second i need to vote whether or not it should actually be mean because i'm one of those people that doesn't have a filter but i'm actually filtering myself right now which is weird and i don't like it so i want permission uh raise your hand if i should be very mean you have a vessel two two two out of three okay fuck three out of three yeah it was two out of five then it became three okay so i got the majority support to be mean i just want to know what it feels like on the side because i just i would like to just know listen again um i'm all ears here and if you could just confess you were surrounded by one two three four five six how do you how does it feel to be surrounded by a room of people that legitimately look down on you and don't like you which no other guest in this show has ever experienced how does it feel to actually be hated by everyone in this room right now i don't really give a shit really yeah everyone's got views man like this isn't views this is just your personality that people have witnessed that's what i'm saying and everyone's been sighing and moaning for an hour and 31 minutes and shaking their heads and i mean no one in here not even you obviously has to like me i don't care i'm just asking how it feels nothing no neutral are you sure you can't reflect on it and try to just like reflect on it later for sure but like right now just in the moment i don't really care anything i feel like i have to take a piss but you know i know we'll get there we'll get there we'll let you drain it thank you drain the main vein what are you gonna say now it's a floater are you gonna say that next no that's a good one oh not really um you said it oh okay i was asking if you're gonna do that next is this navy locking in yes that's mine wow you're spending a lot of money on bullshit and honestly keep doing that i don't care cool good luck it's it's bullshit it's bullshit he's f***ing up his entire life do any of us give a shit i don't think so it's bullshit it's bullshit it's bullshit it's bullshit okay hammer financial score um go take a piss and go f*** off and i cannot wait for the poster to be done so i never have to see you again oh like that's your hammer financial score go f*** yourself please go pee that's that's actually a request oh please never be in front of me um ever again oh he's tripping he can't even stand his ponytails out of the way his ass we're actually going for a second i know it was this is pathetic please please please lindsay lindsay lindsay lindsay can you please just come sit here for a second if you might uh colton can you just come here for a little bit yeah can you just go share this mic with me fine thank you please just sit down for a second i'm not i'm maybe just being can you it is can should she leave him how are you feeling yes you should but how are you feeling but you know what's gonna happen during the movie oh huh yeah wait oh what's that yeah oh what's happening in the post show yeah i don't i do okay but before that before that ladies and gentlemen i just need to know should she leave him listen despite looking like too much information okay despite looking like a bee finished on your chest you have a lot of really redeeming qualities okay guys i'm talking about just for the sake of her yes in the post show okay well he's not here in the post shows she's gonna pop what's happening um should we say it yeah i was gonna propose i was gonna give him a ring so this is this is the moment this is the moment where we can this is the moment where we can stop an actual mistake from happening please lindsay girl the girl okay here's the thing i five months is too soon and also please don't do it please don't do it too soon with this man i would give it some more time with this man i think you're caught up in the moment also i understand that ending one relationship getting into another relationship can feel healing i you need more time you're married yeah still legally legally well i was i was planning on like a long engagement i've met abusive partners that are better than this man here's the thing now i feel nervous what wait are you gonna do it oh i don't i am heavily advocating for not being with this guy he is the most cringe individual i've ever met and he's miserable to being around being around i'm so happy he is taking a piss right now now i feel like i need one oh my goodness okay okay um let's just say it because i think people are trying to be a little nice right now and that's okay just can we i can read the room raise your hand if you think she should not be with him i'm gonna close i i'm not raising my hand i think you should wait it's just it's just me and brandon okay let's split down the middle well i think mika raises his hand too you're a part of this you want to come with me i'm not raising my hand i'm not raising my hand i'm not over here okay um i think you should wait i think you should wait to propose i i personally he's not my flavor i think he's so kind i'm being very kind uh i think he's obnoxious yes but from a casting standpoint i 100 producers love people that i hate so that's why i have to somebody that's gonna yap on camera they have to be nice they have to be nice no i just i see things differently yeah that's all um i just think it's a good thing that you're not raising your hand i think it's too soon well ladies and gentlemen will it happen will it not happen you'll literally find out if you go and join hammer elite right now because the ring is really you got him a ring yeah i'll see you there i'm stressed out right now i don't know why are you stressed well this is your moment stacy is he like this in real life does he feel the need to fill every bit of silence is it all right if i take a second yeah okay of course what's up oh no i just need a moment that's a yourself dude you hold on to her with your life i think i struck the parable every day when i keep her because she's the only one that's gonna feel that way i just launched the brand new hammer elite app available on every major platform to celebrate the app launch i'm offering 30 off the annual plan in the month of june only plus i have an exclusive offer just for you but i'll only have a thousand available to purchase you'll get lifetime access to the entire hammer elite catalog and my hammer for life box pack with limited edition merch download the hammer elite app by using the link in the description or pin comment down below this is the best membership you'll ever join and that's a promise new and exclusive holiday decor just launched online at the home depot check out the viral grand duchess collection with smart holiday lights you can control from your phone easily customize the twinkle across trees wreaths and garlands to match your holiday vibe create stunning light effects then switch it up with the top of your fingers even the man in red will be impressed shop the holiday decor you want online only at homedepot.com