Filling Our Cups w/ Lizzy McAlpine

This episode is brought to you by Nordstrom. For 125 years, Nordstrom has been part of your story. The stylist who found the perfect outfit for your big interview. The first pair of walking shoes for your one-year-old. The tomato soup you shared with your sister at the cafe. These are the moments that make Nordstrom, Nordstrom. Big or small, we're here for all of it. Celebrating 125 years with new moments still ahead. Discover it all in Nordstrom stores and at Nordstrom.com. For decades, a shadowy organization called the Lemonati has kept lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Look around, lemon-forward sodas, even lemon-forward songs. We ran the tracks, slowed them down, reversed them, and squeezed out the truth. That's lemon propaganda right there. But now, 7-Up is fighting back with their new lime-lemon soda. Join the 7-Up rising. Flip the sip. *Lemonati slurping* *Lemonati slurping* *Lemonati slurping* *Lemonati slurping* *Lemonati slurping* - Yeah, I do, and then people are like, oh like it's not well received it's not cathartic i'm like oh i need to like look into that one yeah right okay um that was like a harder media yeah i mean i just did this joke over the weekend it was i was in canada um on friday and it was for jfl which is a big festival and i was like i'm gonna do this joke so i've been thinking about this thing do you watch the hunger games of course okay you watch the hunger games yeah you watch the hunger games maybe hadn't come across her desk yet she's busy she's releasing an album bro maybe she hasn't seen the hunger game right you're right you're right um well i was just sitting there in my bed in my hotel and i was watching it and i was like i can't i just can't believe that it took someone that long to think of killing themselves like and i said that 75 hunger games and no one was like wait you mean the berries you I mean just like yeah i'm gonna i'm not gonna win so what am i waiting for someone to kill me no let me just we don't know what happened to the other game that's true we only know about groundbreaking they had to get groundbreaking that they did it together with the two of them yeah you know i hadn't gotten there maybe that's they had so many people before had jumped off the cornucopia and exploded well why didn't they turn off that feature that's gonna that's like putting i think that's part of the entertainment for them unfortunately jumping off yeah see the thing about me is i'm one i'm not going to do it again i'm not going to do it again i'm not going to do it again i'm jumping off but two i'm also i think i could maybe like be like let's let's just like wrap this up i think i would have i wouldn't have waited i think that the announcers would have hated me so much because they would have gone off and be like wait wait like do 10 minutes you know like they would have just killed you then if they hated you that's true yeah okay well i didn't fully think out the joke but that's not one of my anxieties but i do think sometimes like what would i do in the hunger games but i do i i would hide and just wait for someone to kill me because i'm not going to wait pretty much but then they just like chop your tree down or send termites to eat you or something or would you not be in a tree you gotta have a little bit of survival skills like you gotta you gotta because if you just hide the whole time they're gonna like send things to you to get you out i forgot i have a tracker oh yeah and i was gonna say like televised the whole time so i forgot about that shoot you think you would make it very far probably not very far but i feel like i could like get like you know halfway maybe that's really wow how many people is maybe not halfway maybe just like i just don't want i just i'm not really into killing people no yeah i'm not either something that i'm into yeah i really think i could like change some people and be like why are we come on like let's just let's hang out as long as we can yes and then it just wouldn't be entertaining it'd be it end up like people just switch to watching summer house again you know like they'd be like this no one's they're all friends here you could connect people with your voice oh my god so true yeah like lucy gray yeah exactly that's exactly you know who that is i didn't hear lucy like lucy gray yes who okay mrs owl oh god well i don't want to wait we only have so much time we shouldn't lucy we'll have to have on when you come back you talk about lucy good job right right how did we get to the hunger game i was talking about anxiety oh oh yeah oh okay that makes sense yeah it's a natural segue yeah okay that makes sense yeah sorry well no we were talking about how it comes out in our writing sure and what's funny is like i didn't have anxiety about the hunger games i had anxiety about writing that joke and then seeing how it was received when i talk about my anxiety i i think it becomes a little more relatable because i don't have like debilitating anxiety i'm able to work through it but what happens is i'll have like a out of body beginning of a panic attack i don't think i've ever had like a legitimate pant like you would know yeah i had to pull over my car one time and that was the closest i've ever been but it was also because i was like i'm having a panic attack and i'm scared i'm gonna like there's so much pressure on me i felt like i was gonna turn into like a raisin or a marble you know what i mean like yeah like i needed to curl up and make my face small but i was okay but i don't think i've had a legitimate panic attack it does feel like anxious about having it feels like the world's yes that's like the anticipation of panic is like worse than panic almost for a girl like me at least yeah how do you deal with like anxiety and doing what you do like do you ever get stage fright every time literally never not gotten stage fright like i think i i've been talking i was talking about this recently but i think i might need to get on the beta blockers trend i have so i started because i it's like truly every time it doesn't matter who's there it doesn't matter what size the audience is it doesn't matter what i'm doing it doesn't even matter if it's my own show or not like if I'm just coming to sing one song I'm nervous my heart starts to beat really fast I get really shaky and then my voice gets shaky and then because of the adrenaline my voice like is not normal like it changes it gets like weak I can't really like sing the way that I normally can and I'm and usually if it's my own show I can like move through it so that by the end of the set I feel good yeah again but the beginning is always shaky yeah and I'm kind of like I want to start the set feeling good too so maybe I need bait blockers I talked to my dad recently it was in Toronto actually Canada again and I was like I am so nervous and he goes by the way you you are before every single show I would be nervous if you weren't nervous before a show because it's part of your routine and if you were out of whack it's been it's worked out every time it's worked out so it's like if you take out that like one factor although it would be nice to not yeah it'd be like I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know it'd be nice to have nails that weren't at my cuticle level you know and like not bite the insides of my mouth yeah and my voice wouldn't crack I'm too old to be going through puberty so but it is part of the routine I know I kind of feel that I'm like I'm nervous I'm just nervous because I feel like my body is so sensitive yeah that I'm like I don't know how it would affect me and I'm nervous to like not feel all that stuff but but then again like I don't think I at this point I've come to the realization that I don't think the nerves are helping me at all okay really I think it's like I would love to just get on stage and feel like comfortable yeah and at ease because that's when I sing my best right and like that's every rehearsal is always great and then I get on stage and I'm like and I'm like why why I just want to be normal why literally why like I've done this a million times right literally to be in fight or flight exactly it's literally fight or flight yeah I mean it kind of makes sense because like I just it's just the being perceived yeah it's just so tough sometimes it's so hard even though that's my job and it's what I signed up for and I I love it most of the time but then it's just like looking out and seeing faces of people who are like all eyes on you yeah yeah they're there for you and I'm like oh god like what yeah I can't I can't what I can't is like when someone is like I traveled for this oh yeah and I'm like well well like we'll we'll we'll we'll we'll we'll what if like what if i can't like live up to like what you traveled for like that is when i like get really freaked out but do you feel like there's like a certain point in your show where you're like okay i'm fine now is it like after the first it's like the first couple it's like the first three songs maybe okay and then it's just pure adrenaline yeah yeah maybe a beta blocker i think i need to try them how how is your experience but i just i think my thing is just like i'm so scared of panic that like i'm so scared that the beta blocker is going to somehow have an adverse effect on me yep yeah so i don't know that it's helping i definitely notice that my heart rate is slower okay but then i'm like my heart rate is slower see that's what i think would happen i'm like my body would be like too relaxed and i'd be like so there's something there's something wrong like exactly like about to pass like this isn't my natural state which i'm not so it's like you it's a lose lose lose pretty much so then maybe it wouldn't help me i think because then i would just fixate on like all of i think i feel like i would then just be perceiving my body like way more exactly that's my problem i would just be like really yeah i've been taking them not like just during the day to try to like because i'm doing something in a week that i haven't slept in like a month because i have something that i'm really nervous for in a week so i've been training myself with the beta blockers and just like seeing what it's like that's what i'm taking them thought i should do not before the big day and i think that i'm not gonna take them for okay wow for the big day because i think it's just gonna make me freak out even more but i'm still practicing with my beta blocker so i don't i don't really know yeah i think i would i would need to practice as well because i feel like every it just like if there was going to be an adverse reaction like it would happen it would happen to me and it would happen on live television so exactly like that just would that just that stuff happens to me yeah this episode is brought to you by nordstrom for 125 years nordstrom has been part of your story the stylist who found the perfect outfit for your big interview the first pair of walking shoes for your one-year-old the tomato soup you shared with your sister at the cafe these are the moments that make nordstrom nordstrom big or small we're here for all of it celebrating 125 years with new moments still add discover it all in nordstrom stores and at nordstrom.com the eliminati has spent decades keeping lemon on top and lime in the shadows their lemon agenda has infiltrated everything even our music. That hit song named after the color of lemons? Not a coincidence. Big Lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years. Think about it. But now 7up is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda. Now lime comes first. 7up, flip the sip. Like I got a colonoscopy recently. Yeah. Oh, how was it? It was awesome, Loki. But I was really nervous. How was the prep? It wasn't that bad. Really? It really wasn't that bad. Except I opted for the pills instead of the drink at first because I was like, I think I would just vomit if I had to drink the thing. And then I took the pills. I took like the first round. And then I was like, oh, I'm feeling like kind of weird. And then I look down at my body and I have like a rash on my knees, on my feet, on my hands. I was like, oh, great. Perfect. So then I started to panic. And then I was like, oh, my God, am I going into anaphylaxis? Right. Do I need to like go to the ER? And then I just took a Benadryl and it was fine. But but like, of course, that would that would happen to me. Rashes scare the shit out of me. Yeah. Because it's like, use your words. Like, what are you trying to tell me? I know you're trying to tell me something. I know. Really? And it's like, not even I don't think the ingredients in those pills are like that crazy. Like, I don't know. I was like, of course, this would happen to me. And then I had to do the drink for the second round. Oh, you did. I just did like Gatorade and the laxative Miralax. Oh, I thought it was like I was thinking of like a white chalky thing. I think the one that they prescribe you is like a jug of just like gross, cloudy water thing. Yeah. And I said no to that one. Yeah. The Gatorade and the Miralax wasn't that bad. It was pretty bad. I'm surprised it's just Miralax. Yeah. Yeah. I like worry like there wouldn't be a difference between like Miralax and Gatorade. I don't know. I don't know. I don't like my everyday and and me chugging chugging the white. No, it is. It's different. It's different coming from a girl who has IBS. Yeah. Another commonality. Yeah. Another link. How was the actual colonoscopy? If you don't mind me, if you don't mind me, I loved it because really put you under and it feels so good. That was sorry. Colonoscopy is camera camera. Okay, cool. But what did they what were their findings? Nothing. That's great. Awesome. Absolutely nothing. But it was really like I have IBS and I've had stomach issues for my whole life, basically. And I am also gluten free. And I say I think I have celiac. But it's mostly like anxiety for me. And I think my anxiety really triggers my IBS. Yeah. And so I really got it because I needed peace of mind. And it gave me that. And then afterwards, it like it was like a 180. It was amazing. I was like, this is awesome. Now. This is how a normal person is supposed to feel. Yeah, I think I'm gonna I want to. There's a part of me that wants to do one of those full body scans. Yeah. And a part of me that same. So I'm really walking that line. We we talked to that. You know, that company that's like working with like, influencers or whatever. Yeah, they finally messaged they messaged you too, right? Yeah. And I said I would do it. And then I chickened out. I was full on talking to them back and forth. I was like, I really thought I wanted to but I don't want to know. And they go, wouldn't you rather? Like, if there is something in there, get ahead of it. And I was like, no, I don't want to know. I don't want to know swing between those two as well. But what a feeling because also, I feel like now they can find like, I guess the scans can find things that like aren't aren't like malignant that that but then they're like, you have to check them out anyway. And that was scared me. Yes. Because I feel like what if they found like a little thing that was benign, but then they were like, we don't know what it is. We have to test it. And I'm like, what if it's what if it's bad? I just can't I just I don't want to put myself through that. I know. I know. It's now now that you said it, and I didn't say it out loud. Wouldn't it be better to get it out? Malignant and benign malignant and what do they find it? I mean, I guess but like I got a I had to get an ultrasound on my thyroid when I was in high school because they had they found like a little nodule but it was benign. So like what if they found that and they're like, we need to do this. We need to do this. We need to do this. We need to do this. We need to do more testing. And I'm like, I guess I would rather know. I mean, same, but I just don't think I could really work myself up to that point. I know. It's getting in the machine. Or it's driving. And then just like the waiting. Just the thinking after just the thinking about Yeah, what if what if waiting on results? Yeah, jinkies scoops. Not gonna work. No, I do think I'll end up doing it eventually. But I need time. I'll do it with you. So the last time we had said we were gonna do it together. I had said yes, because you had said you were gonna say yes. And then you had responded. No, after I had already said yes. Okay, so I think like a lot has changed in my in my personal has changed just like my vibe. Okay, so I think that I would like to do it now. Oh, wow. Okay. Well, if you guys do it, if you guys do it, then please let me know. Okay, let's do it. Maybe I'll do it after you guys. Yeah, we go. We all go together. I want a human centipede in the tube. Come on, you guys. Summer's almost over. Sounds really good. Yeah, fall's the perfect time to do a full body scan. Yeah, it is. Yeah, we head home for the winter. Exactly. Yeah, spring into summer is about when they do this. This print print for new hosts. I listened to your new single. Oh, wait, do you call it a single if it's on an album? That's Are you releasing more singles leading up to the full release? Oh, we don't know. It's a surprise. Okay. Just like my new book scan. It'll be Yeah, I released my single. It's like my full results of my pre-nuvo coming out the same day as your albums. All right, competition. Pre-save my pre-nuvo scans. Oh, my God. That would be fun to put behind the paywall for the bonus episode this week. We're just going to do the results of Lizzie's colonoscopy. Oh, my God. Okay. Sweating. I listened to Light in the Panning. I did too. About 400 times. Oh, my God. I've listened. I'm currently listening. It's on in my head right now. It is so damn good. And like, I find myself listening to you and going into a space that like, very few artists put me in. It's almost like, you know, when you turn a shark over on its back and it like rarely happens, they go into a tonic state where they're aware. A tonic state? A tonic state. Catatonic? No, I think it's just tonic. I don't know. It's catatonic, you think? Catatonic. I don't know about tonic. So, they go into this catatonic state, which is, I was shortening it because I'm, I just, it takes forever to say. Sure. So, they go into this catatonic state where they're aware of their surroundings, but they're kind of like out of body in a way. That is what your music does to me. Oh, my God. This song was so different in feel, and you can tell me why, but I read some comments on the YouTube video and it was like, oh, my God, Lizzie's releasing like joyous music. Is this a recession indicator? Music full of joy. It's exuding this light. It really is. Yeah. And I feel it. And then I watched the music video and I was like, oh, my God, this is like pretty much what I was picturing when I was listening. Yeah, hard launch. Yeah. Congrats. Congrats. For so many reasons. We're really happy for you. There's a lot of yearning and this is like yearning found. Like I found what I was yearning for. Am I right or did I make that up? Yeah. I mean, am I close? I think so. Am I on the main line? Yeah. You might be. I like, you know, people having their own interpretations of the songs and whatever it means to you. So, that is correct. I love that. Yes. You know? Yeah. Connor's been really loving analyzing things and symbolism. Tell her about the symbolism you found in the music video. Yeah. I actually really thought it was beautiful. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. You're going to watch the music video. So, he's going to explain your own music video to you right now. She said it exactly like it's cool to see other people's interpretation. It is. Yeah. She's going to be like, so that's not what I was thinking. So, that's wrong actually. So, in the video, it's a lot. It's very focused on you and you're kind of focused on him. So, it's almost like this triangle and you're in this desert, which is usually a barren land. But there's so much light and it doesn't feel that way. And it's just you two there. And it's like solace in that way. Like you found, I found this oasis. I was about to say oasis. Oasis. Come on. Thoughts. I love, I love that. Yeah. That's like, yeah, that's great. Because when we were making the video, I really wanted it to be like, yeah, focused on me. Because I feel like, like, yes, it is about the relationship. But I feel like this song and this album also are very much about like me coming back to myself through all of these things, like through this relationship and through a heartbreak and through friendship and community and all these things like that. Those things are how I found myself again and how I like came back down to the earth and centered myself. And so, yeah, I wanted the video to like kind of represent that. The line, meet me where I've been. Meet me where I've always been. Always been. Sorry. I'll go no no it was close meet me where I've always been the same concept yeah that was yeah chills yeah that's my favorite line meet me where I've always been and that was kind of like this I found it but you but I've been found too yeah by yourself and this young man who he must be pretty tall because you're pretty tall yeah yeah yeah it's awesome you mind if I get deep for a and I feel like there's always this like idea that like you have to love yourself before somebody else can love you but now I think people are really understanding that like you can learn to love yourself more through seeing how somebody else loves you yeah and that is kind of what my my big takeaway that is 100% it that is what I wrote the song about like two years ago and that's what yeah that that's like the whole vibe of the song and of the album it's like I I was seeing right after a breakup yeah and I was like it was like a complete 180 from from the my past my last relationship and I was like oh my god like I like when he would say that I was beautiful I like actually believed him this time I was like oh my god I can like I can see that in myself now like through yeah this thing that we are building yeah it was like it was it was very healing yeah it's wonderful I think we got A's yeah you guys really did a good job exactly the vibe I got that well that is one way no no that was what I wanted I yeah no no it's what she wanted and then you're focused on him and that's like I have PTSD because there was a time in that one class that after I had they hadn't announced that there were no stupid questions after I had answered or after I had asked a question remember that yeah and you know remember my teacher wrote Brooke's idea on the board and then said what does everyone think and then crossed it out with a red X so we both have that we have okay we do you guys did a really good job yeah we do things we carry yeah yeah with us yeah yeah I did great job sorry no it's all you it's all you know I really want to give it to you well I was just gonna I was gonna say you can we you want to talk about Broadway I'd love to talk yeah I like to listen I'll I'll just I'm gonna sit my ass down and listen no I want you to be involved because I I love Broadway and he is someone the first conversation that I had with Connor ever in 2020 I remember this he was like what are you doing and I was like oh I'm watching Rent and he said is that a show on Home and Garden and so that's when I kind of okay sorry forget me and so that's when I kind of realized like this there are different kinds of people and he's one of them and so part of this podcast has really been learning about each other's interests and I would like to think that you've learned like a good bit about Broadway yeah and if I were to talk to me in that conversation now I'd be like oh what would you walk with me friend you tell him Rent is a play kind of yeah yeah do you know who wrote it you do yeah I do yeah you do Jonathan yes he's so amazing which one there's like 15 hang on you It's not Bailey no not Anderson that's Dior you know you you know it 100% you want the first letter or no you want to you want to think of it by yourself not Jonathan John Jacob Jingle Ironman Smith his name is my name too Smitty Horgan Weberman Jensen he was number one do you want the first letter yeah please oh yes yes yes yes I know this and he's dead well yeah and you know the story of what happened yes yes god yeah and you know it I can do it if I saw a picture of him it would come it would all come back to me you've ever seen a picture yes because it's in black and white good job yeah because he's from the past yeah I'm trying to think there was color image imagery as well available in the 90s but I do know the black and white I know that one you're referring to is that helping you yes it is Jonathan and you remember who played him crap Darren Criss nope okay remember what else he did besides rent that is a movie 59 60 30 60 90 30 90 30 90 tick boom right and it's you know about him and his name is and he's played by Andrew Garfield and his name is Jonathan guys it's this could be the whole we could do this all day it's on the screen Larson really yeah Larson you knew that yes of course you knew that Jonathan Larson yeah oh my god yeah I knew that that's embarrassing yeah I like knew that that's I believe I you did know that yeah under a lot of pressure yeah I know names are a lot of cameras here hard for me and that's amazing that you even knew the name Darren Criss by the way I know Darren Criss I could point Darren Criss out in the lineup like he's he's gonna hear this now Darren Criss you know that um very famously I know Darren Criss from Glee that's yeah well yeah and a lot of other stuff too but yeah yeah yeah I'm sorry that I don't know how we oh because of rent I was gonna well I was asking you what else what you what you know well what else yeah I think my first Broadway play we went Izzy and I and Brooke went and saw Wicked before the movie came out um and I think I'm gonna go see more shows I've been trying to go and see um there's a couple oh Mary I want to go see yes so did you did you see it so good yes who was Mary Cole that's so incredible it was insane yeah ah what sucks about plays is like especially being in New York is like it's right there like I could I could definitely go yeah and because it's right there it's so accessible that like I put it off put it off put it off and then Cole's gone and then my Rudolph's gone well I think they're bringing oh Mary here with Cole no like in like oh okay well we'll go I think I'll be back here yeah sure pre-nuvo scan to Mary Pike yeah we have a lot we need to do that's a layup yeah this episode is brought to you by Nordstrom for 125 years Nordstrom has been part of your story the stylist who found the perfect outfit for your big interview the first pair of walking shoes for your one-year-old the tomato soup you shared with your sister at the cafe these are the moments that make Nordstrom Nordstrom big or small we're here for all celebrating 125 years with new moments still add discover it all in Nordstrom stores and at nordstrom.com the lemonati has spent decades keeping lemon on top and lime in the shadows their lemon agenda has infiltrated everything even our music that hit song named after the color of lemons not a coincidence big lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years think about it but now seven up is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda now lime comes first seven up flip the sip but how was your how was your wicked experience because that was his first it was musical that's awesome I think it might have no that wasn't the first one I saw it scared me a little bit I didn't like the monkeys I still monkeys are freaky it freaked me out yeah that's why I'm like so shocked that children are able to watch that because the monkeys still throw me off in a big way yeah they are scary yeah the monkeys feel like someone crazy could get in there dress up as like one of the monkeys with an axe and fall into the crowd and start axing people okay well that's never yeah that never yeah my bad I'm looking at all the exits when I walk into somewhere like that yeah that's my first thought yeah I'm not good with crowds either which is funny because I'm saying you know like you don't know I'm not gonna put it on your head but what oh I probably have thought it before so many times I think about in the crowd I'm like there's no way everyone here likes me you know like yeah I mean I think when I'm at a show I'm like you know someone probably brought their boyfriend yeah I hate it was like not really and I'm doesn't know my music sure doesn't it doesn't want to be here it's just here for his girlfriend yeah which I'm like that's good for you like you're you're supporting your girlfriend yeah but also like I know you don't want to be here what give that to a friend you know like I got such a pit in my stomach every time I saw a man on book tour because I was like um oh crap I know yeah I don't want to be here yeah I don't want to be here yeah I don't want to be here but sometimes like I feel like once I saw like a group of guys like just at one of my shows and they were loving it they're having such that's happened to me one time too like so fun I'm like I love you guys yeah I have a lot of I have a lot of guy friends that like have your merch and wear it all the time yeah wait that's awesome I don't think because I don't really feel like that's my demographic yeah I was loving that actually it happened recently I was going to send you a picture the other night when I texted you do you remember yes I do I drunk texted Lizzie what did you say I miss my family talking about this we were watching music videos and like we were watching this Lizzie music video and I sent her I was in Milan and I sent her a picture and I was like I miss my family and she was funny miss you and I was like it's so funny the people that I drunk Texas it's never it's it's always like someone I haven't talked to in a while and I'm like but it was great you sent me that picture of you guys watching the spring into summer live video and I was like I love this crying what did what what did you think when you got you I was like oh my god so sweet oh good yeah i wasn't like oh why is connor texting me that's a really good way to drunk text yeah it was really and i wish i had that about me yeah yeah because yeah do you drunk text i mean i don't really drink that much yeah i never drink i don't drink anymore really yeah i'm i'm pretty done yeah um but sometimes like if there's something where i'm like really nervous for or it's like a social gathering i'll i'll chug really quick and then i have to go home because i find myself very sick yeah um i think what's worse for me than texting after drinks is texting after some coffees it's worse for me because i'm like i need to text everybody and then by the time i crash from the coffees i'm like oh they're replying crap yeah consequences yeah it's tough i had to put my calendar the other day heads down 20 minutes reply to texts it's gotten to that point yeah okay so how many unread texts you have right now i'm scared it's not good i'm scared i have zero 71 that is so many that would give me anxiety yeah it has to be zero i cannot see a red bubble at some point i um when is the most far back text from that you haven't responded how would i even do that go look at it scroll and scroll and scroll it's that far down it's a lot of text oh i i or do you have some of the text that you haven't responded to i don't know how would i even do that you're just like those are i'm not those are not something i'm ever i'm sure some of them are like a group text where someone's planning something like spring break or spring break yeah no it's usually it's probably like weddings you know like all my friends are going we're planning wedding and they're booking an airbnb right usually one of my like if it's a college friend high school friend or something they'll text me on the side and be like are you cool with all this well i'm just going to venmo request you because at some point with group text i'm like i'm gonna i have to catch up on 30 texts and i yeah i'm replying late and it doesn't matter and you know but it's usually group text or usually when it starts because at some point i'm i'm due for an upgrade which is so funny that that is i didn't know that was still a thing it is and so what will happen is i'll get a new phone and i'll be like this is the one where i keep everything at zero yep and then i have a birthday yeah birthdays are tough for that yeah yep because it's funny because a lot of people will text you that from from the past and we'll be like hey happy birthday and i'm like thanks so much and then they're like have you been what are you up to where do you live can i stay with you no way that's crazy yeah and i'm like i feel like a lot of people text me my birthday like that i haven't spoken to in years and i'm like do you respond um sometimes it depends because sometimes i'm like are you just saying this to me because yeah the implication because of who i am now or what like do you actually care that it's my birthday yeah right are you actually wishing me a happy birthday is you want me to have your heart yeah yeah i've stopped responding like if i haven't heard from you in a while i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm from you in over four years like i'm not i'm not gonna respond to your whatever that's a beauty it's tough i kind of i kind of go person by person yeah yeah i don't think that you need to reply to happy birthday i think like that's a nice thing for you to send a happy birthday and usually i don't there's no words involved usually it's emojis uh-huh yeah because that seems easier to me heart like just heart heart heart and then the welling up face right right right yeah you shouldn't have i love the welling up face do you yeah your top emoji yeah well no my top emoji i've made my myself it's a gay mouse with a gun oh my god love so it's great yeah it's just like how does the how is the mouse gay i just you know you can make because he has a gun no well yeah i can show you it's like you can make you know how you can make your own on i yes but i don't know how to do it i just typed in like gay mouse wielding a weapon because i don't remember why that's what i needed like it was a very specific situation where i needed like like a purge a mouse on the day of purge the purge who was gay um i don't remember why that was what i needed but yeah i'll show you my mouth yeah let's see it he's wearing a oh yeah he has a purse he's like a he's like in a mob he's wearing a tux he's wearing a suit suit gun purse suit gun purse luckily and yeah very pink tail anyway that's that is my most used emoji but then it's and then it's welling up face yeah understandable yeah um can i ask something about music specifically you can and albums actually too okay two questions very dumb but i've been curious no stupid questions how many how many songs are going to be on your new album 14 how did they decide on the number of songs how did they decide well like someone else decided it's well sorry sorry but traditionally it's like 10 to 14 i usually um okay so my first album was 13 okay and i had the 13th song on that album was about my dad who passed away in 2020 also around the same time that that covid happened and uh berkeley went online which was crazy um and the album came out on the same day and i was like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry the 13th and the 13th song was about him and that just and he passed away on the 13th wow and so it it felt like very cosmic and so after that i was like okay every 13th song now on every one of my albums will be about my dad wow so now i have to have at least 13 songs and ending on the 13th track is is not it's not great it's pretty much a downer every time so i think 14 is like my sweet spot that i found and yeah wow that makes sense yeah how many do you record though so many really so there's i mean there's more songs or right or like yes yeah there are so many songs i for this album specifically i wrote so many songs and because i started writing this album and then we tried to record it the first time in january of 2025 which is like right when the fires happened and we were recording in altadena and mason my co-producer and guitarist's um studio back studio his house in altadena and we were in there for two days and then the second day the fires happened so we couldn't obviously go back to that and then i went to do broadway in february for five months and then i wrote so many more songs while i was there and then i came back and i was like okay i have two like worlds that the songs are happening in like the one before i left and the one from from new york right and then we combined them all um a couple songs got cut okay that's life um but they ever we ended up like come back or do you just say goodbye to this forever let me just say there's a lot of songs in my vault and there's a lot more than normal so i'm i something will be happening do they shit do they shit on like a laptop like are you are your vault songs my songs are on my phone i have like thousands and thousands of voice memos and yeah my notes i just write the songs on my notes app whoa what so i what happened that feels like when if your phone got left in an uber uh well it's all on the cloud right how do you get to the cloud i don't know like on my on my laptop oh i don't know it's just something it's something to think about most of my notes are just on my phone like yeah cloud yeah yeah yeah i know those things i'm sorry to that's via apple id i think i could remember most of them really i think so maybe not the tunings i think the tunings of my guitar are the things that i will not remember if i don't write them right but i i'll remember the lyrics and like how the song goes yeah wow oh hell no oh hell no not for me i'd have to like have someone else that i hire to i'd sing them the song and then and you have to learn this now and when i lose my phone sing it back in the next week yeah i'm gonna have to you're gonna have to come over to my house and perform this so i can remember them that's amazing i would remember them most of them and that's exciting so that was the first question right yeah and then the second question is do you have this is your fourth album yes that's like a lot of albums for like a lot of i think sorry wait there's like a lot of people that like are like in the scene i guess you can just be releasing singles and but like for a lot of people like that have been on the scene for a long time definitely longer than like 2020 have like some people have like three albums i guess like adele or yeah well like four people take a lot of time between i yeah i kind of am just writing so much that the albums just kind of like present themselves to me and i'm like all right i'm making this one now um but yeah i don't i don't know it's i just i don't really think about that i'm just i just write a lot do you ever get writer's block yes definitely what do you do like right now i haven't written a song in like a while really because it's just like i'm i gotta live right you know you kind of have to live life and like have experiences before you can write about them and even if you have an experience you kind of have to like process it before you can yeah put it into words in a poetic way right so i feel like right now i'm just living you know do you waiting have the thing of where do you have the thing of where you have the thing of where you see colors is that what you're gonna ask no but i do want to talk about that of where when you have it yep you got this you got the so do you have a thing of where when you have a you have it okay grab hold of it release oh i know what it was when my my ideas all come not related at all like not even close in relation to what you're doing but like everything comes to me when i'm not able to get it down pen to paper like when i'm about to fall asleep and i have to weigh the options do you look at your blue light right now and write this down right or risk losing it i convince myself every single time you'll remember this this is great wake up i know i had a good idea last night no i would never remember shower down nothing i can't on the toilet so many good ideas have come to me on the toilet where's my phone where's my it's always happening in the bathroom or on like when i'm running and i'm listening to music and something will come to me i don't run so wouldn't know about that just like when you're you know or when you're driving or when you're it's always these moments that like you have these buzz when you're having a stroke and you that moment when you're having a stroke pov having a stroke um and that i can't do you have that do you have that sometimes yeah definitely yeah i feel like i have to i can never force the inspiration to come like if it's gonna happen it's gonna happen when i when it's ready and when it wants to like i can't force it so if i feel like it's kind of hard to explain but like when i feel a song like brewing it feels like it's on the tip of my tongue like it's like about to come out like sometimes i'll be like i have this idea and it's like definitely not ready yet but it's like in the background it's like it's in the back and then like a couple days later maybe it'll like be a little more forward now it it will like take more of a shape in my brain and i'm like okay like i feel like it's about to happen uh-huh like you're going into labor literally i'm about to you're dilated and then exactly yeah i was thinking something different because we were talking about the bathroom yeah something's brewing it's on the tip of my tongue it's coming you know ibs yeah yeah um and i feel like then when the song is ready it's like i have to get it out of me right so then get this thing out of me or so help me literally yeah so then like i'll sit down and i'll write it i'll write it and when it's ready to come out it will happen in like 20 minutes sometimes whoa it like sometimes it happens really fast yeah so i mean obviously sometimes i'll be like falling asleep and my brain will just be like going like working and working and then i'll have to like pull my phone out and write the ideas down and then so do you write the lyrics first or do you have the melody i have done that but it's hard for me to do it that way so usually i will like have the feeling that the song's about to it's coming yeah it's coming everyone start with the contract then i start with a chord progression so play the guitar and just like put it in a random tuning or putting it put it in a tuning that i i have written in before and just play and like see what emerges and then once i have that i'll kind of like do the lyrics and the melody at the same time so i never i can't really write down lyrics like ahead of a chord progression because i don't really know what the song is going to feel like until i have the music behind it you know because i feel like that informs the tone of the song right and then the lyrics can come from that wow yeah that's really cool you just talked about that thing where you hear sounds and you you think colors what did you are you see i don't think i don't know i was just trying to mind read you and help you along because you were having a stroke yeah i was struggling back then but it all worked out it did all work out but i when you were talking about the feeling of when you are on like the precipice of a song like that is kind of what i was thinking you know like it's back here i always think like i have this idea it feels like a cavity and like i can feel it on my teeth yeah you know and then when you start putting it on paper like if i think of like the the makeup of a joke i think of like circles and squares and lines and like how they're connected like how they're built do you see that with music or is it just like one flow state line line line line line it's just kind of like stream of consciousness it's like yeah when i think about a song like in when it's like in the back of my mind when it's like not ready to come out yet it's just like a very amorphous like blob and then event and then when it comes out it's just like okay here it is shaping it literally and sometimes it feels like it's not coming from me i know a lot of creatives talk about this but it feels like god hey it's me margaret it feels like sometimes i'm just channeling it from somewhere like this song already existed and i'm just putting it on paper sometimes it feels like that sometimes it's harder to write a song sometimes it's like this is a this is a battle but most of the time it feel it's very easy and then and then i'll go through periods like right now i haven't written a song in so long and i'm like will i ever write a good song ever again that's how did i ever write a good song what how do you write a good song i don't know what came first your voice or like your love of songwriting my voice i think i've been singing since i was in like kindergarten preschool like because i was gonna say like what would you do if you just like had this love of songwriting but didn't have your voice no i think i mean obviously i started out not as good as i am now but it was a little rough when i first started singing but um i feel like you have a range too obviously to do light in the painting and then you listen to your broadway right and it's like wow well i i took vocal lessons for broadway i like really went deep because i was like i need i need to be i need to be good i need to show them what i'm made of you know i don't know and you did you are letting them know right now you're like it's easy for me i don't give a shit like god touches my brain sometimes but then sometimes it's hard it's really a toss-up do you want to go back to broadway i would love to whoa it was actually like one of the most transformative experiences of my entire life like i feel like it built my confidence so much wow it brought me out of my shell i feel like i did theater in high school yeah obviously i'm a theater kid and um i feel like even in high school i was so shy before i did theater and then doing theater like brought me out of my shell it like showed me like oh i can i can take up this space and like people want to see that and doing it this time was just magical i mean the people that i met everyone in that cast was so incredible it was such a warm group to be a part of and they were all so welcoming and i learned so much about myself and i wrote so many songs while i was there i was so inspired by the music that i got to sing every night it was so beautiful and it was it was scary and really hard oh and i had to learn how to like sing through my nerves i was i had to learn how to same kind of thing as a concert like yeah you can't stop right in in one of my own shows i can just be like oh my god that was crazy but you're a character yeah on stage like you i had to learn how to no it's not me yeah i had to learn how to move like make a mistake and then move on it let it go yeah you gotta you gotta keep going yeah which was hard because i hate making mistakes and i i used to like spiral about that a lot and sometimes if it was a if it was a bad mistake like one time my voice cracked real bad um and i spiraled about that for the rest of the show no one noticed honestly it was pretty noticeable i think but stuff like that you kind of just have to like the show like that's actually the beauty of live theater yeah so that was hard for me yeah i'm a perfectionist right but it also i feel like i came into my body more like i feel like the first couple during the preview process which is playing but it's like critics aren't allowed to come yet right so it's just like and you're working through things every day like we would go to rehearsal during the day and then we do the show at night during that process i saw such a like growth in in my self i felt like the beginning of that process i was timid like i see you know bootlegs hate those but i've seen like clips of me during the beginning of preview experience and i'm like wow i seem so like closed and like shy and timid and then i felt like by the end of the whole thing like closing night i i was so much more confident and yeah it like really it was a crazy learning experience it was so awesome and it just like i feel like i came back from that because also it was so fun to just go and do something so different yeah and with no i didn't know anyone i like none of my bandmates right none of my everyone all my whole team like lives in la right so i just went to new york by myself and i was like i'm just gonna do this wow because i was burnt out yeah for making music i there was no joy in it for me anymore i was like i need to fill other cups so that when i come back to making music it's fun again wow and i did went back to making music like how did you change like did you change as lizzie like the performer i think so i mean first of all my voice was so much stronger when i came back and when we recorded a But I was, I could hear like, My voice being different and like just stronger. And also the songs that I wrote there were different from the songs that I wrote before I went there. And they're all just like, yeah, it was it was really transformative. It was really crazy. I loved it so much. And I want to do it again. I mean, immediately. If what would your dream role be? Any show? Next to normal, obviously. That Natalie is a dream role. So this space, you'll be shocked what happens when you speak things out in this space. Great. Make it happen, y'all. There is. Yeah. I heard something about next to normal coming back. I did, too. I heard the rumbling. I heard a rumbling. And my team is aware. OK. As long as everyone's aware. Hello. Oh, my God. Oh, you would kill Superboy and the Invisible Girl. I would really die. Do you think that anyone, if they took voice lessons, could sing? I'm mostly asking. I'm asking for myself. Because I, like, have really been wanting to. She's a good singer. I'm not a good singer, but, like, you could ask. I think there has to be a baseline. I can carry a tune. You can match pitch. OK. I think that is the prerequisite. I think because there are some people I know that truly, like, they'll sing along to a song and it's just not even close. Right. It's like you're a lost cause. And I'm like, wow, that is so crazy. Yeah. It just blows my mind. But I think, like, if you have, if you can match a pitch and, like, carry a tune, I think, yeah. Why not? I just, like, don't understand. I don't see how singing lessons would make my throat not hurt. It is. It's transformative. Really? If you ever find the right teacher. OK. I feel like I went through a couple and then my, the teacher that I ended up with, Vicky, who, Victoria Clark, is, like, an iconic Broadway actress. She was in The Light in the Piazza. Um. And, like, so many other things. Is that inspired by that? Not consciously, but, like, probably subconsciously. I love when that happens. But she, like, really just put it in a way that made me understand. Because I feel like a lot of voice teachers will be like, you know, just lift your soft palate. Yeah. And I'm like, what the fuck does that mean? Right. How do I do that? But she put it in words that, like, made sense to me. And, yeah, there's just, like, technique is really important. I feel like if you learn, if you learn the basics of technique, then you're set, kind of. All right. I'm going to sign up. I think you should. You should. But also, I'm worried about, like, the person I would become if I could sing really well. Because, like, I don't know how you didn't sing this whole podcast. Because, like, if I had a voice like that, it would be, I would not stop. Oh, my God. I didn't say I couldn't sing. It would be pretty bad. So it might be worth me not exploring it. I think you should. No, I think you should. Especially because you're a Broadway girl. And then you can just, like, sing Broadway songs all the time. I want to. And then maybe you could be on Broadway. I'm limited by my reign. Maybe you could be on Broadway. I think my stage fright for Broadway specifically, like, sorry to bring up diarrhea again, but, like, I, before any show I go see, am blowing up the theater restroom because I'm so nervous. Even just in the audience. I'm so nervous for everybody else. Oh, my God. I kind of feel that. There's something about Broadway, like, because I guess it's, like, it's live theater. But it's so exciting. Empathy-induced IBS. I have really bad empathy-induced IBS. That means your good, pure heart is at work. I don't know if that's what it means, but. Maybe get a colonoscopy. I stopped. I want one. Voice lessons and a colonoscopy. That's what I'm prescribing you. Yeah, I would love that. Because that's why I stopped eating gluten. When I did Broadway, I was like, OK, I need to stop. Because it was not, it was not helping. Yeah. It was actually hurting. Yeah. And I was like, I can't be in the bathroom every time I'm off stage. Right. You know? And plus, I was on stage, like, basically the whole time. Yeah. For that show. Oh, that just wouldn't work. So I was like, I can't. I can't. Oh, my God. Like, for me, like, I can give myself a stomachache, like, if I just think about it. Like, and so if I was on stage, like, that's what I would do. Because, yeah, I would just be sitting. I would just sit there. I would be having a fear of getting a stomachache. And then I would give myself a stomachache. And then it's like, then what do you do? I'm on stage. Right. See, one time I was on stage. Oh, this has nothing to do with the stomach. But I had just, like, gotten over a, I had strep. And then I had, like, a sinus infection. And I came back. And I was still, like, having a lingering cough. And I was standing on stage in the back, like, just, you know, doing my thing. And I was supposed to be on stage for the scene that was happening over there. And then I would come down stage and I'd sing my big act two number, like, my big song. And I was standing up there and I was feeling a tickle. And I was like, oh, I was trying to, like, get rid of it. And then suddenly I was like, okay, I have to cough. And then I started coughing. And then I couldn't stop coughing. Oh, no. So I ran off stage. I'm supposed to be on stage. Right. I ran off stage. And are you mic'd? The mic is not on. Okay. But I did, during the scene, I had to sing, like, some ahs or something in the background. It wasn't that point yet. But I ran off stage. I was coughing. I couldn't stop. I was drinking water. I was like, how the fuck am I? How am I supposed to do this? And then they turned my mic on and I just, like, choked out the ahs. And then I coughed at the end of it. But they hadn't turned my mic off yet. So the cough. And there's reverb on this. There's, like, an echo. So the cough just, like, echoed through the house. Brooke would have shit her pants in the audience for you. And then I had to go back on stage to sing my song. Wow. And it was just me and the audience for, like, four minutes. And so I went on and I did. I tucked a cough drop in the corner of my mouth. I bet you had a good little rasp. And I prayed. I just prayed. I was like, please let me get through this. I went back. I did the scene. I was like, like, the whole time when I didn't have to be saying anything. And then I sang the song. And somehow I got through it. Wow. And it traumatized me. Because then the next show, I was standing up there at the same point. And I was like, what if it starts happening again? I know. That's so scary. Oh, my God. It was, like, the panic that went through my body. Because when I went backstage, the stage manager was like, do we need to pause the show? And I was like, no, we can't pause the show. That's so insane. We can't. I can't. I can't do that to everyone. Oh, my God. So I was just like, I'm just going to fucking push through. Wow. That's too much pressure for a young lady. But wouldn't, like, wouldn't understudy just run out and said? No, they would just have paused the show until I got it under control. Wow. And it would have kept going. But I was like, no. We have to keep. I'm not going to stop the show for this. I'm not. I can't be a diva. Yeah. You know? You would just be taking care of yourself. No, I just pushed through. And then it was terrifying. That's crazy. But, yeah. Wow. Real scary. You are so strong. You are so strong. That's the only thing that, like, really happened on stage that was, like, terrifying. If that's the worst thing. I tripped one time, though. That tripping is hard. But there was a bench right there. So I just fell onto the bench. Oh, good. I saw in a show I saw recently, someone fell, like, pretty bad. Really? Yeah. And, like, it sucks because, like, if I were her friend, I would tell her, like, I'm sure no one's even thinking about it or no one noticed or is even thinking about it. Like, I think about it a good amount. So I feel bad about that. Yeah. But. That's tough. But, you know, live theater, what are you going to do? Yeah, exactly. Live theater. And it's kind of fun. Like, you got a little. Yeah. A little extra. You got a unique show. I did. I did. I felt so bad. And my stomach hurts so bad. Actually, I don't get in. I don't feel secondhand embarrassment for people that fall. Like, I'm like, I think that's great that you fell. I think. I think it. Like, some people can use it, you know? Yeah. Especially if it's a if it's a comedy. I think it's more impressive for someone to fall and then get up and keep going. Like, that is so incredible to me that, like, that would make the show for me. That you were able to carry on over, like. See, the thing is, if I actually fell, I think I would just start laughing. You could tell she was, like, hurting. Oh, no. Oh, no. No, like her soul. Oh. Yeah. Falling is OK. I think falling is. If I'm there, I encourage one fall because it takes to me like, oh, my God, they're performing because I'll get so locked in watching a performance that I'm like, I'm watching a movie and you forget that people are doing this. Right. That's true. And you see a fall. It's like these people are human. Yeah. Are they human or are they dancing? Are we dancers? Yeah. Good question. Never understood that song. That's a mystery to me. Which one is that? Are we human or are we dancers by Coldplay? I don't think I know that one. Is that the title of the song? Are we human or are we dancers? Copyright infringement. Episode gets canceled. What is a human or dance? Oh, it's by the Killers part. Oh. Not Coldplay. Oh, yeah. I don't know that one. But I'll listen to it. That's a good question. OK, thanks. We can listen to it in the bonus. Yeah. Oh, cool. Yeah. OK, well, let's give Lizzie the floor to plug the album. OK. Her fourth album. Fourth album. Where should I look? Here? Good question. There's just a few cameras. That one, do you think? The one that moves or the one that's static? These three. Any one of these three? Oh, my God. I feel cold, too. OK. Dealer's choice. My album, Angel, comes out September 18th. Yeah, that's it. Woo-hoo. Also, Light in the Painting is out now. Yes, it is. You can appreciate the album, too. Yeah, you can. That's an option for you. Like, that helps, right? You can buy all the vinyls. Yeah. We just released a seven-inch vinyl today. Seven-inch vinyl. For the Light in the Painting on one side. On the other side is the demo that we made in the Altadena studio before the fires happened. Wow. So, that's really special. So, yeah. And the cover is like a paint-by-number of the actual album cover. So, you can, like, color it. I love the album cover, by the way. Thanks. Me, too. I want it, like, big in my house. Oh, me too. Tidy. Shout out to Tidy. Shout out. She painted that. Well, Lizzie, you are an angel. You're a total. Stop. Thank you so much for coming. You guys are. Thanks for having me. Can't wait to see you in it. So fun. Oh, my God. Yeah, let's manifest. Make it happen. Yeah. All right, you guys, thank you for listening. Thank you. And thank you, Lizzie. And we'll see you guys in the bonus. Woo. This week on Close Friends. Is this the opposite of the moon? Where are things heavier? Density. Thank you. Plato would have lived in Silver Lake. Aristotle's view of a chair. I'm so bored. There's not shit to do. Create groups of four. Oh, yeah, we've played this. Sign up on TMGstudios.tv to watch the full bonus episode. Coca-Cola. For the big. For the small. The short. And the tall. Peacemakers. Risk takers. For the optimists. Pessimists. For long-distance loathe. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you. Welcome back, frickin' frack. Welcome to the jungle. ABC Wednesdays. Abbott is back. It's gonna be the best year yet. Thank you. Now we can finally turn this up. And everyone's going wild. Y'all think you run this school, but you don't. It's going great. Abbott Elementary. Anything can happen in the jungle. Right, guys? All new Wednesdays on ABC. And stream next day on Hulu. Ugh, I hate Mondays. King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Swirl Bite? Taylor Hansen? Sure, I'll try one. Mmm. Hey, let's get back to work, please. But Taylor Hansen's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Bites. Taylor Hansen? Nice. Try one. Mmm. King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Bites. There's nothing like it.