Filling Our Cups w/ Lizzy McAlpine

I'm gonna eat as many of these as I can and then I'll stop into the mic. You're so good. I'm not fried. No, you couldn't eat. I made with avocado oil. I did math by when I was looking at this by the way because I was like I could probably eat this whole bag. Five servings per per container. One ounce. Guess how many ounces this bag is. How many? Five. You could eat five servings per bag. That's awesome. It's avocado oil too which my mom says is good. That's good and good for ya. I love avocado. No, I've really got it. No, it's fantastic. I like to stack too. Hey guys, welcome back to Broken Conor Makeup Podcast. If you can hear something in my voice, it's because you're right. What you're feeling is right and it's true and it's honest. We're back in the studio today in a huge way, Brooks right here beside me and then beside Brooks. Beside me. You'll never believe this. We have a very special guest today. My heart is so warm and my cup is so flowing, overflowing to have our close friend, Lizzy McAlpine here, give it up for Lizzy. That was good. I'm so excited you're here, Lizzy. We were just saying, I have not actually met you, but you've met Conor, I hinted a lot. Yes. This is also, you said it earlier, we don't have guests on a ton. I'm so honored. We're saving ourselves from marriage and this does feel that way. So thanks for coming on. We're so excited to have you. Thanks for having me. I know you a lot more than you know me probably at this point and I don't know if you know like we have like a very scary amount in common. Okay. Like what? Like I'm from the main line. Okay. Filly. No, she knows what that is. No, but I don't know if everyone can relate to this. Oh, sorry. Yeah. Sorry. I was just talking to Lizzy. It was so perfect. It was so perfect. It was so perfect. It was so perfect. Yeah. What part? My heart. My heart. Yeah. It's pretty nice. It's so crazy. It's pretty nice. Whoa. My parents just moved into the city from the suburbs, so we don't live there anymore, but that's crazy. Yeah. I've never actually lived in the city, which is kind of a bummer. It's cool. Yeah. No. I lived in Manionk for a second, but that's not relevant. Yeah. You know what's weird is that it seems like half of the world is from on or off the main line. Yeah. And like Texas is like, I'm from Texas. And somehow I've never, I almost never meet a single person from the state of Texas. But somehow we run into. Yeah. And overwhelming amount of people from Ohio and just on or off the main line. Yeah. I don't even know what the main line is. What are those two? I don't. I just said it. The main line is like a suburb of Philly and it's called the main line because there's like a train that goes through it. Well, if you're not on the main line, then you can be. It doesn't insist upon itself that there were being off the main line. You're off. You're technically off the main line. I mean, I think we're all on the main line. Yeah. You're off the main line. Okay. Yeah. It's like on or off the wagon. Yeah. And then I went to school in Boston, too. Oh my God. Where? B.U. Okay. Yeah. Berkeley. Yeah. Okay. Did you love it? I was only there for two years. Okay. So I made a lot of friends. That's great. That's all you can ask for. You left in 2020, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why? Loss of reasons. Did anything happen? No. Nothing big. Just like, you know, COVID. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It became a mess. You shut down. We went online. Yeah. And it was horrible. Yeah. Because I was like taking songwriting classes over Zoom. And I was like, is this really what I want to do for the next two years? Right. And my album was also like about to come out. My first one. So I kind of just was like, I'm just going to leave and like bet on this and see what happens. One would have been wild to be in school while that album. Yeah. It was like, the singles were releasing while I was still there. It was everyone like looking at you like, not really. It was like the very, very beginning. Yeah. It was just like, I was just what was your first single that came out? I think it was Apple Pie from my first album. Yeah. Give me a minute. Wow. It's a deep cut. God knew not to give me any singles to release in college. That would have been like, I didn't quite have a single. Yeah. I didn't release a single. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't release a single thing in college. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. And now, okay. So this is what's confusing to me because obviously you're here and you have an album coming out. It comes out in 50 days. 50 days? 50 days. 50 days. September. I mean, yeah. Yeah. I guess that's just crazy. I just have never thought about it. Yeah. I'm out of days. So I know it comes out in 50 days because it comes out a week after my birthday. Oh. And so that's what I, I think the-- Oh my god. Are you Virgo? I'm a Virgo. Oh my god. Me too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to win. I'm going to win. I was going to say I calculated this because I did the Snapchat filter that said your birthday's in. And yeah. And I'm way too old to be like, yeah, I was playing with Snapchat filters in bed this morning before I got out. The two things I did in bed this morning, open Twitter, see someone die, get on Snapchat see what my birthday is. And then a character was like, oh, my god, your album comes out a week after my birthday. Love that. Yeah. Virgos. Mm-hmm. So now you won't forget when your album comes out because it's a week after Connor. Yes. And it's also, it's three days before my birthday. Wow. Wow. Should we do a joint thing? We should. No. Oh my god. Album release. You want to come back? Two birthdays. No. I'll also ask it this time. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to go if we're going head-to-head here, I guess you're out. I was just going to say we're both Broadway girls and my favorite musical is next normal. Oh. And then when I knew I was really in love with you is when I saw a TikTok of you singing at LC Fest, you were singing normal. Yes. With Rachel. I did. Yeah. And I didn't really, like the world doesn't really know about LC Fest, which is like Broadway Coachella. It's a kind of a deep cut. And that was the first thing. No, no, no. If you were to explain to the world, we all know it basically is. It's a festival. Yeah. That Darren Craig has gone in New York. And that was my first time hearing about it. And I was like, I have to get to this place. Yeah. It was kind of awesome. Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing. It's really fun. I. Next normal. Like, I told you about that one. Do you remember? Yeah. Tell everyone what it's about. I mean, so it's basically, here's normal, right? And then just right off the main line, here it is. This is the one that has the plot twist. Yes. The in-night shalom on. Yes. Do you remember what's telling you about that? Oh, hell yeah. Yeah. I don't want to spoil it for anyone that's about to see it. No, don't spoil it. So I won't say. But God, yeah. Wow. Yeah. Chills. Yeah. Uh-huh. I have bone chilling. Yeah. Um, keep going. Was that? Yeah, I think that I think that might be, do you have any commonality? I have anxiety as well. Yeah. Great. Yeah. I am not honing my, I guess kind of in a way. When you're writing, are you, is it coming out and in your writing, do you think like it's a question? Yeah. Uh-huh. Are you anxious about your writing? What are you anxious about? My anxious about my writing. Tell us all. I mean, not usually. Um, I feel like, yeah, this is where I wear your hair. When I write, it's like, I use it as kind of as my journal to process things. So yeah, it definitely, it definitely comes out in there. Yeah. Like, I did that with my book and it was like kind of healing, like do you very therapeutic? Do you, yeah. Do you channel your anxiety and your stand up? Yeah, I do. And then people are like, oh, like it's not well received. It's not cathartic. I'm like, oh, I need to like look into that one. Yeah. Right. Okay. Um, that is like a harder media. Yeah. I mean, I just did this joke over the weekend. It was, it was in Canada, um, on Friday. And it was for JFL, which is the big festival. And I was like, I'm going to do this joke because I've been thinking about this thing. Do you watch the Hunger Games? Of course. Yes. You watch the other games right? Maybe he hadn't come across her desk yet. She's busy. She's releasing an album, but maybe she hasn't seen the Hunger Games. Right. Right. You're right. You're right. Um, well, I was just sitting there in my bed in my hotel and I was watching it and I was like, I can't, I just can't believe that it took someone that long to think of killing themselves. Right. And I said that 75 Hunger Games and no one was like, wait, you mean the berries? I mean, just like, I'm going to, I'm not going to win to one of my waiting for. I don't want to kill me. No, let me just we don't know what happened to the other. That's true. But it was like groundbreaking. They had this groundbreaking that they did it together with the two of them. Yeah, you know, I'm sure they had so many people before had jumped off the cornucopia and exploded. Well, why didn't they turn off that feature? That's kind of that's like putting the part of the entertainment for them. Unfortunate jumping off. Yeah, see the thing about me. Is I'm, one, I'm jumping off, but two, I'm also, I think I could maybe like, be like, let's, let's just like wrap this up. I think I would have, I wouldn't have waited. I think that the answers would have hated me so much because they would have gone off and be like, wait, wait, like do 10 minutes, you know, like, they would have just killed you then if they hated you. That's true. Yeah. Okay. Well, I didn't fully think out the joke, but that's not one of my anxieties. But I do think sometimes like, what would I do in the Hunger Games, but I do that. I would hide. And just wait. Pretty much. But then they'd just like chop your tree down or sinter might see you or something. Or would you not be? Yeah, you got to have a little bit of survival skills. Like you got it, you got to, because if you just hide the whole time, they're going to like send things to you to get you out. I forgot. I have a tracker. Yeah. And I'm going to say like the whole time. So I forgot about that shoot. You think you would make it very far? Probably not very far, but I feel like I could like get like, you know, halfway, maybe. That's really how many people maybe not halfway, maybe just like, I just don't want, I just, I'm not really into killing people. No. Yeah. I'm not. I'm not really not my thing that I'm into. Yeah. I really think I could like change some people and be like, why are we? Come on. Like let's just let's hang out as long as we can. Yes. And then it just wouldn't be entertaining. It'd be it ended up like people just switched to watching summerhouse again. You know, like they'd be like this. No one's. They're all friends here. You could connect people with your voice. Oh my God. So true. Yeah. Lucy Gray. Yeah. Exactly. That's exactly. You know what that is? I didn't hear Lucy. Like Lucy Gray. Yes. Okay. Mrs. Owl. Oh, God. Well, I don't want to wait. We only have so much on. We shouldn't. Lucy will have to have on when you come back. You talk about Lucy. Good job. Right. Right. How did we get to the Hunger Games? I was talking about anxiety. Oh, oh, yeah. Oh, okay. That makes sense. Yeah. It's a natural segue. Yeah. Okay. That makes sense. Yeah. Sorry. Well, no, we were talking about how it comes out in our writing. Sure. And what's funny is like, I didn't have anxiety about the Hunger Games. I had anxiety about writing that joke and then seeing how it was received. When I talk about my anxiety, I think it becomes a little more relatable because I don't have like debilitating anxiety. I'm able to work through it. But what happens is I'll have like a out of body, like beginning of a panic attack. I don't think I've ever had like a legitimate pant like you would know. Yeah. I had to pull over my car one time and that was the closest I've ever been. But it was also because I was like, I'm having a panic attack and I'm scared. I'm going to like, there's so much pressure on me. I felt like I was going to turn into like a raisin or a marble. You know what I mean? Like, like I needed to curl up and make my face small. But I was okay. But I don't think I've had a legitimate panic attack. It does feel like it feels like the world's on. Yeah. That's like the anticipation of panic is like worse than panic almost for a girl like me at least. Yeah. How do you deal with like anxiety and doing what you do? Like do you ever get stage fright every time? I literally never not gotten stage fright. Like I think I, I've been talking, I was talking about this recently, but I think I might need to get on the beta blockers trend. I have so I started because I, it's like truly every time it doesn't matter who's there. It doesn't matter what size the audience is. It doesn't matter what I'm doing. It doesn't even matter if it's my own show or not. Like if I'm just coming to sing one song. I'm nervous. My heart starts to be really fast. I get really shaky. And then my voice gets shaky. And then because of the adrenaline, my voice like is not normal. Like it changes. It gets like weak. I can't really like sing the way that I normally can. And I'm, and usually if it's my own show, I can like move through it so that by the end of the set, I feel good. Yeah. Again. But the beginning is always shaky. Yeah. And I'm kind of like, I want to start the set feeling good too. So maybe I need. I talk to my dad recently. It was in Toronto, actually Canada again. And I was like, I am so nervous. And he goes, by the way, you, you are before every single show, I would be nervous if you weren't nervous before a show because it's part of your routine. And if you were out of, it's worked out every time it's worked out. So it's like if you take out that like one factor, although it would be nice to not, it'd be nice to have nails that weren't at my cuticle level, you know, and like, not bite the inside of my mouth. Yeah. And my voice wouldn't crack. I'm too old to be going through puberty still. But it is part of the routine. I know I kind of feel that I'm like, I'm nervous. I'm just nervous because I feel like my body is so sensitive that I'm like, I don't know how it would affect me. And I'm nervous to like not feel all that stuff. But, but then again, like, I don't think at this point, I've come to the realization that I don't think the nerves are helping me at all. Okay. Really? I think it's like, I would love to just get on stage and feel like comfortable. And at ease, because that's when I sing my best. Right. And like, that's every rehearsal is always great. And then I get on stage and I'm like, I'm like, why? I just want to be normal. Why? Literally. Why? I've done this a million time. Literally, to be in fight or flight. Exactly. It's literally fight or flight. Yeah. I mean, it kind of makes sense because like, I just it's just the being perceived. Yeah. It's just so tough sometimes. It's so hard, even though that's my job. And that's what I signed up for. And I love it most of the time. But then it's just like looking out and seeing faces of people who are like, all eyes on you. Yeah. They're there for you. And I'm like, oh God. Like, what I can't, I can't. What I can't is like, when someone is like, I traveled for this. Oh, yeah. And I'm like, well, well, what if, like, what if I can't like live up to like what you traveled for? Like, that is when I like get really freaked out. But do you feel like there's like a certain point in your show where you're like, okay, I'm blind now. Is it like after the first couple? It's like the first three songs, maybe. Okay. And then it's just pure adrenaline. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe a beta blocker. I've been trying to try them. How, how is your experience? I just, I think my thing is just like, I'm so scared of panic that like, I'm so scared that the beta blocker is going to somehow have an adverse effect on me. Yep. Yeah. So I don't know that it's helping. I definitely noticed that my heart rate is slower. Okay. But then I'm like, my heart rate is slower. See, that's what I think would happen. I'm like, my body would be like too relaxed. And I'd be like, so there's something, there's something wrong. Exactly. Exactly. About to pass. Like this isn't my natural state, which I'm not. So it's like you, it's a lose, lose, lose pretty much. Okay. So then maybe it wouldn't help me. I think because then I would just fixate on like all of, I think I feel like I would then just be perceiving my body like way more exact. That's my problem. I would just be like really. Yeah. I've been taking them not like just during the day to try to like, because I'm doing something in a week that I haven't slept in like a month because I have something that I'm really nervous for in a week. So I've been training myself with the beta blockers and just like seeing what it's like. That's what I'm taking them not before the big day. And I think that I'm not going to take them for. Okay. Wow. For the big day because I think it's just going to make me freak out even more. But I'm still practicing with my beta blocker. So I don't, I don't really know. I think I would, I would need to practice as well. Because I feel like every, it's just like if there was going to be an adverse reaction, like it would happen to me and it would happen on live television. So exactly like that. That just would, that just, that stuff happens to me. Yeah. I feel like everyone I meet lately is trying to be smarter with money. My self included cash back here, coupons and points there. But why does it take so much effort? We all just want to make our money work a little harder. I totally agree, Connor. I love a good deal. But if I actually have to hunt for one or go out of my way to activate a coupon, I've already checked out. Yeah. Well, Brooke, I think I found one you'll actually like prime for young adults. It's actually pretty genius. It's a prime membership for 18 to 24 year olds that actually makes prime feel like it's built for you. All right. You've got my attention Connor. But what's the catch? What if I told you there isn't one? I'm talking about 5% cash back on eligible purchases and categories of beauty, apparel, electronics, PCs and health and personal care. You're telling me this whole time I could have been getting rewarded for the purchases I already make and with no catch. Exactly. You're not changing your shopping habits. You just get rewarded for them. And the best part, the cash back is automatic. No coupons, no activation, no extra steps. Now that's the kind of reward I can get behind. No extra work. Just getting rewarded for the life I'm already living, talking about prime for young adults, 5% cash back, 100% made for you. I'm talking about that. If you're up to 18 and 24, check out prime for young adults and start earning cash back on the purchases you're already making. Prime for young adults is only available for 18 to 24 year olds terms apply. Like, I got a colonoscopy recently. Yeah. Oh, how was it? It was awesome, Loki. But I was really nervous. How was the prep? It wasn't that bad. Really? It really wasn't that bad. Except, I also opted for the pills instead of the drink at first because I was like, I think I would just vomit. Right. If I had to drink the thing. And then I took the pills, I took like the first round. And then I was like, oh, I'm feeling like kind of weird. And then I look down at my body and I have like a rash on my knees, on my feet, on my hands. I was like, oh, great. Perfect. So then I started to panic. And then I was like, oh my god, am I going into anaphylaxis? Right. I was like, go to the ER and then I just took a bed and it was fine, but like, of course that would happen to me, you know, you're the shit out of me because it's like, use your words. Like what are you trying to help me? I know you're trying to help me something. I know. Really? And it's like, not even, I don't think the ingredients in those pills are like that crazy. Like, I don't know. I was like, of course, this would happen to me. And then I had to do the drink for the second round. Oh, you did. Like, gatorade and the laxative mirror laksa. Oh, I thought it was like, I was thinking of like a white chalky thing. I think the one that they prescribe you is like a jug of just like gross, cloudy water thing. Yeah. And I said no to that one. Yeah. The gatorade and the mirror laksa wasn't that bad. It was pretty bad. Yeah. I'm surprised it's just mirror laks. Yeah. Yeah. It was, I like worry. Like, there wouldn't be a difference between like my everyday and me chugging, chugging the white. It is. It's different. It hits different. Coming from a girl who has IBS is different. Another commonality. Yeah. Another link. How was the actual colonoscopy? If you don't mind me. I'm in your colonoscopy. I loved it because it's like put you under and it feels so good. That was. Sorry. Colonoscopy is camera, camera robot. Camera robot. Okay. Cool. But what are they? What were their findings? Nothing. That's great. I really like, I have IBS and I've had stomach issues for my whole life basically and I'm also gluten free and I say, I think I have celiac. But it's mostly like anxiety for me and I think my anxiety really triggers my IBS and so I really got it because I needed peace of mind and it gave me that. And then afterwards it like, it was like a 180. It was amazing. I was like, this is awesome now. This is how a normal person is supposed to feel. Yeah. I think I'm going to I want to there's a part of me that wants to do one of those full body scans. Yeah. And a part of me the same. I don't want to know. So I'm really walking that line. We talked to that, you know, that company that's like working with like influencers and stuff. Yeah. Whatever. Yeah. They finally messaged. They messaged you too, right? Yeah. And I said, I would do it. And then I took it out. I was full moon talking to them back and forth. I was like, I really thought I wanted to but I don't want to know. And they go, wouldn't you rather, if there is something in there, get ahead of it? And I was like, no, I don't want to know. I just swing between those two as well. But what a feeling. Because also I feel like they can find like, I guess the scans can find things that aren't like malignant, but then they're like, you have to check them out anyway. And that was scare me. Yes. Because I feel like what if they found like a little thing that was benign, but then they were like, we don't know what it is. We have to test it. And I'm like, what if it's, what if it's bad? I just can't, I just, I don't want to put myself through that. I know. I know it's now now that you said it. And I didn't say that well, wouldn't it be better to get it out? Belignant is it? It sounds like the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, what do they find? A black thing. What are they going in? I mean, like, I guess, but like, I got a, I had to get an ultrasound on my thyroid when I was in high school because they had, they found like a little nodule, but it was benign. So like, what if they found that and they're like, we need to do more testing. And I'm like, I guess. I guess I would rather know, I mean, same, but I just don't think I could really work myself up to that point. I know. I know. It's getting in the machine. Or it's driving there. Yeah. And then just like the waiting, just the thinking, just the thinking about, yeah. What if, what if, waiting on results? Yeah. Jinkies, scoops, not gonna work. No, I do think I'll end up doing it eventually, but I need time. I'll do it with you. Take a bit of marker. So the last time we had said we were gonna do it together, I had said yes, because you had said you were gonna say yes, and then you had responded now after I had already said yes. Okay. So I think like a lot has changed in my, in my personal. What has changed? Just like my vibe. Okay. Okay. So I think that I would like to do it now. Oh wow. Okay. Well, if you guys do it, if you guys do it, then please let me know. Okay. Let's do it. Because then maybe I'll do it after you guys. Yeah. We go. We all go together. I would like to do it. I would like to do it over. That sounds really good. Yeah. Falls the perfect time to do a full body scan. Yeah. It is. But then we had home for the winter. Exactly. Yeah. It's bringing to summer is about when they do this. It's pre new. It's pre new. I listened to your new single. Oh. Wait. Do you call it a single if it's on an album that's, are you releasing more singles leading up to the full release? Oh, we don't know. It's a surprise. Okay. Just like my new both scan. It's a single. Yeah. It'll be. Yeah. I release my single. It's like my full results of my pre new bow. Coming out the same day as your albums. All right. Competition. Pre-save my pre new bow scans. Oh my god. That would be fun to put behind the. Okay. All right. For the bonus episode this week, we're just going to do the results of Lizzie's going out. Oh my god. Oh my god. Good night. Okay. Sweating. I listened to "Light in the Painting" about 400 times. Oh my god. I've listened. I'm currently listening. It's on in my head right now. Mm-hmm. It is so damn good. Thanks. And like, I find myself listening to you and going into a space that like very few artists put me in. It's almost like, you know, when you turn a shark over on its back and it like rarely happens, they go into a tonic state where they're aware. A tonic state. Catatonic. No, I think it's just tonic. I don't know. Catatonic, you think? I don't know. Catatonic. So they go into this catatonic state, which is I was shortening it because I'm, I just, yeah, it takes forever to say. Sure. So they go into this catatonic state where they're aware of their surroundings, but they're kind of like out of body in a way. That is what your music does to me. Oh my god. The song was so different in feel. And you can tell me why, but I read some comments on the YouTube video. And it was like, oh my god, Lizzie's releasing like joyous music. Is this a recession indicator? Music full of joy. It's exuding this light. It really is. Yeah. And I feel it. And then I watched a music video and I was like, oh my god. This is like pretty much what I was picturing when I was listening. Yeah, hard launch. Yeah. We were really happy for you. There's a lot of yearning. And this is like yearning found like I found what I was yearning for. Am I right? Or did I make that up? Yeah. Am I close? I think so. Am I on the main line? Yeah. It's you might be. I like, you know, people having their own interpretations of the songs and whatever it means to you. So that is correct. I love that. Yes. Connor's been really loving analyzing things and symbols. Simples. Tell her about the symbolism we found in the music video. Yeah. I actually really thought it was beautiful. Oh, really? Yeah. You know what you're saying about it being on her. Yeah. If you guys watched the music video. So he's going to explain your own music video. Okay. Great. Yeah. Right now. She said it. Exactly. Like it's cool to see other people's interpretation. It is. Yeah. She's going to like, so that's not what I was thinking. So that's wrong actually. In the video, it's a lot, it's very focused on you. And you're going to focus on him. So it's almost like this triangle. And you're in this desert, which is usually a barren land. But there's so much light and it doesn't feel that way. And it's just you two there. And it's like, solace in that way. Like you found, I found this Oasis. I was about to say away. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I love that. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. That's great. Because when we were making the video, I really wanted it to be like, yeah, focused on me. Because I feel like, yes, it is about the relationship. But I feel like this song and this album also are very much about like me coming back to myself through all of these things, like through this relationship and through a heartbreak and through friendship and community and all these things like that. Those things are how I found myself again and how I like came back down to the earth and centered myself. And so, yeah, I wanted the video to like kind of represent that. The line, meet me where I've been, meet me where I've always been. Yeah. Sorry. I'll go. No, no. It was close, meet me where I've always been. It was the same concept. Yeah. Yeah. Chills. That's my favorite line, meet me where I've always been. And that was kind of like this. I found it, but I've been found too by yourself and the young man who, he must be pretty tall because you're pretty tall. Yeah. Yeah. It's awesome. Might have I get deep for a second? Sure. I just, I have learned recently. And I feel like there's always this like idea that like you have to love yourself before or somebody else can love you. but now I think people are really understanding that like you can learn to love yourself more through seeing how somebody else loves you. And that is kind of what my big takeaway. - That is 100% it. That is what I wrote the song about like two years ago. And that's what, yeah, that's like the whole vibe of the song end of the album. It's like I, I was seeing this person like right after a breakup. - Yeah. - And I was like, it was like a complete 180 from my past, my last relationship. And I was like, oh my God, like I, like when he would say that I was beautiful, I like actually believed him this time. I was like, oh my God, I can like I can see that in myself now like through this thing that we are building, you know? It was like, it was, it was very healing. It was very healing experience for me. - That's beautiful. I think we got A's. - Yeah, you guys really did a good job. - You did exactly the vibe that was coming forward. - Well, that was one way. - Oh no, that was what I wanted. - No, no, no. - That's what she wanted. - And then you're focused on him. And that's like, I have PTSD because there was a time in that one class that after I had, they had an answer that there were no stupid questions after I had answered or after I had asked a question. Remember that? - Yeah, and you know, remember my teacher wrote Brooks idea on the board and then said, what does everyone think? And then crossed it out with a red act. - So we both have that. - So we have. - Okay. - But you guys did a great job. - Yeah, we did it. - We did things we carry. - Yeah. - With us. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Which is great job. - It's great job. - Sorry. - It's all you. - No, I really want to give it to you. - Well, I was just gonna, I was gonna say you, can we, you want to talk about Broadway? I'd love to talk about Broadway. - Yeah, I like to listen. I'll just, I want to listen. - I want you to sit my ass down and listen. - No, I want you to be involved because I, I love Broadway. And he's someone, the first conversation that I had with Connor ever in 2020. I remember this. He was like, "What are you doing?" And I was like, "Oh, I'm watching Rent." And he said, "Is that a show on home in Garden?" And so that's when I kind of re, A-S-E-C-A-D-S-G-S-I forget me. And so that's when I kind of realized like this, there are different kinds of people. And he's one of them. And so part of this podcast has really been learning about each other's interests. And I would like to think that you've learned like a good bit about Broadway. And if I were to talk to me in that conversation now, I'd be like, "Oh, what would you tell?" - What would you tell him? - Rent is a play. - Kind of, yeah. Yeah, do you know who wrote it? - You do. - Yeah, I do. - Yeah, you do. - Jonathan. - Yes. - He's so amazing. Which one? - Oh, there's like 15. - Not Bailey, not Anderson, that's Dior. - You know, you know at 100%. The first letter or no, you want to think about it by yourself. - Not Jonathan. John Jacob, Gene Climates, man. His name is my name too. It's Shemini organ. Whoever mentions it, he was number one. - Do you want the first letter? - Yeah, please. - Oh. Yes, yes. Yes. Come on, I know this, and he's dead. - Well, yeah, and you know the story of what happened. - Yes. - God, and you know it. I can do it. If I saw a picture of him, it would all come back to me. - I don't know if you've ever seen a picture. - Yes, 'cause it's in black and white. - Good job. - Yeah, 'cause it's from the past. I'm trying to think. - They're what color imagery as well, available in the 90s, but I do know the black and white. I know that one you're referring to. Is that helping you? - Yes, it is. - Jonathan. - And you remember who played him in-- - Crap! - They're in Chris. (laughing) - Okay, remember what Elsi did besides rent that is a movie? - '59, '60, '60, '60, '90. - '30, '90, '90. - '30, '90. - '30, '90. - '30, '90. - '30, '90. - '30, '90. And it's about him, and his name is, and he's played by an integral field, and his name is Jonathan. - Guys, it's, we could do this all day. - It's on the screen. - Larsen! - Really? - Yeah. - Larsen. - You knew that. - Yes, of course you knew that. Jonathan Larsen. - Yeah. - Oh my gosh. - Yeah. - I knew that, that's embarrassing. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Is he, I like, knew that. That's the day. - I believe I know. - I, you did know that. - Yeah. - I wonder a lot of pressure. - Yeah. - I know. - There's a lot of cameras here. - Hard for me. - And that's amazing that you even knew the name Darren Chris, by the way. - I know Darren Chris. I could point Darren Chris out in a lineup. Like, he's gonna hear this now. Darren, you know that. Very famously, I know Darren Chris from Glee. - Yeah. - Well, yeah. There's been a lot of other stuff too, but yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I'm sorry that I don't know how we, oh, 'cause of rent. - I was gonna, well, I was asking you what out, what you know, what out, what out, yeah. - I think my first Broadway play, we went, is he and I in Brooke went and saw Wicked. - Love. - Before the movie came out. And I think I'm gonna go see more shows. I've been trying to go and see, there's a couple. Oh, Mary, I wanna go see me. - Yes, so good. - Did you see it? - So good, yes. - Who was Mary? - So cool. - That's so incredible. - It was insane. - Yeah. - What sucks about plays is like, especially being in New York is like, it's right there, like I could definitely go. And because it's right there, it's so accessible that like I put it off, put it off, put it off, put it off, and then Cole's gone, and then my Rudolph's gone. - Well, I think they're bringing Oh Mary here with Cole. - No. - Like in like November, December. - Oh, I'll be back here. - Okay, hold up, I think. - I'll be back here. - Yeah. - Pretty new, Voscan. - Pretty new, yeah. - To Mary, pipeline. - Yeah, we have a lot we need to do. - That's a lot. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Hey guys, we wanna take a quick break to the sponsor today's episode, Rakuten. With Rakuten, you can earn cashback rewards on almost everything you buy. It's a smart, no-brainer way to save money and feel rewarded when you shop. Rakuten partners with all your favorite brands across so many categories. Fashion, beauty, travel, concert tickets, electronics, restaurants, and so much more. - You can redeem your cashback your way. 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It's one of those pieces that always makes an outfit feel a little bit more put together. - And it's not just a peril. Quince also offers elevated essentials for your home from bedding and bath to kitchen essentials and furniture. Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/BNC for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's q-u-i-n-c-e.com/BNC for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com/BNC. - But how was your wicket experience? 'Cause that was his first-- - It was musical. - That's awesome. - Well, I think that might have, no, that wasn't the first one I saw. - It scared me a little bit. I didn't like the monkeys. I still don't like the monkeys. - The monkeys are freaky. - It freaked me out. - Yeah. - That's why I'm so shocked that children are able to watch that because the monkeys still throw me off in a big way. - Yeah. - They are scary. - The monkeys feel like someone crazy could get in there, dressed up as like one of the monkeys with an ax and fall into the crowd and are axing people. - Oh my god. - Okay, well, never thought about that. - Never thought about that. - Yeah, never thought about that. - Yeah, my bad. I'm looking at all the exits when I walk into somewhere like that. - Oh my god. - Yeah. - That's my first thought. Yeah, I'm not going with crowds either. Which is funny 'cause I'm saying, you know, I'm not gonna put it on your head, but. - What? Oh, I probably have thought it before. - I think about it in the crowd. I'm like, there's no way everyone here likes me, you know? (laughs) - Yeah, I mean, I think when I had a show, I'm like, you know, someone probably brought their boyfriend. - Yeah. - I hate being mad at you. - Who is like, not really, doesn't know my music. - Yeah. - It doesn't want to be here. It's just here for his girlfriend. - Yeah. - Which I'm like, that's good for you. Like you're supporting your girlfriend. - Yeah. - But also like, I know you don't want to be here. - I know, yeah. - Sometimes it's like, what? Give that to your friend, you know, like. - I got such a pit in my stomach every time I saw a man on book tour. I was like, oh crap, I know I don't want to be here. - But sometimes I feel like once I saw a group of guys, like just out one of my shows, and they were loving it. They were gonna be such a great time. - That's happening to me one time too. - Like so fun. I'm like, I love you guys. - Yeah. - I have a lot of, I have a lot of guy friends that like have your merch and wear it all the time. - Yeah. - You know that I know a lot of guys. - Yeah, wait, that's awesome. I don't think, 'cause I'm really sure. - I feel like that's my demographic. - Yeah. - I was loving that. - Actually, it happened recently. I was gonna send you a picture, and obviously I forgot, but the other night when I texted you, do you remember? - Yes, I do. - I drunk texted Lizzy. - What did you say? - I missed my family talking about it. - Yeah. - We were watching music videos, and we're watching this Lizzy's music video and I sent her, I was in Milan, and I sent her a picture, and I was like, I missed my family, and she was gonna miss you, and I was like, it's so funny the people that I drunk text is it's always like, someone I haven't talked to in a while, and I'm like, but it was great. - Did you send me that picture of you just watching this bring into summer live video? - Yes. - I love this. - What did you think, when you got, you-- - I was like, oh my God, so sweet. - Oh, good. - Yeah. - I wasn't like, oh, why is Connor texting me? (laughing) - That's a really good way to drunk text. - Yeah, it was really sweet. - And I wish I had that about me. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Because yeah, do you drunk text? - I mean, I don't really drink that much. I never drink, I don't drink anymore. - Really? I'm pretty done, but sometimes if there's something where I'm really nervous for, or it's like a social gathering, I'll chug really quick, and then I have to go home 'cause I've made myself very sick. - I think what's worse for me than texting after drinks is texting after some coffees, it's worse for me because I'm like, I need to text everybody. And then by the time I crash from the coffees, I'm like, oh, they're replying. (laughing) - Crap. - Yeah, consequences of her own actions. - I had to put my calendar the other day, heads down 20 minutes, reply to texts. It's gotten to that point. - Okay, so how many unread texts do you have right now? - I'm scared. - That's not good. - I'm scared. - I have zero. - 6.71. - 6.17. (laughing) - That is so many. That would give me anxiety. - Yeah, I would. - It has to be zero. I cannot see a red bubble. - At some point, I-- - When is the most far back text from that you haven't responded? - How would I even do that? - Go look at it. - Scroll and scroll and scroll. - It's a lot of text. - Oh, I-- - Do you have something that you're just like those are, I'm not, those are not. - Something I'm ever-- - I'm sure some of them are like a group text where someone's planning something. - Oh, okay, right. - Like spring break or-- - Spring break, yeah. - No, it's usually, it's probably like weddings, you know? Like all my friends are going, we're planning wedding and they're booking an Airbnb. - Right. - Usually one of my, like if it's a college for a high school friend or something, they'll text me and I'll sign and be like, "Are you cool with all this?" Well, I'm just gonna pin my request, you. 'Cause at some point with group text-- - That's tough. - I'm gonna, I have to catch up on 30 texts and I'm replying late and it doesn't matter, and, you know, but it's usually group text or usually when it starts, 'cause at some point, I'm due for an upgrade, which is so funny that that is-- - I didn't know that was still a thing. - It is. - So what'll happen is I'll get a new phone and I'll be like, "This is the one "or I keep everything at zero." And then I have a birthday. - Yeah, birthdays are tough for that. - Yeah. - Yep. - Because it's funny 'cause a lot of people will text you from the past and will be like, "Hey, happy birthday." And I'm like, "Thanks so much." And then they're like, "Have you been? "What are you up to? "Where do you live? "Can I stay with you?" - No one has ever been to that to me. That's crazy. - Yeah, I feel like a lot of people text me my birthday that I haven't spoken to in years. And I'm like, "Do you respond?" Sometimes, it depends because sometimes I'm like, "Are you just saying this to me?" Because the implication. - Yeah. - Because of who I am now. - Yeah, or what? Do you actually care that it's my birthday? - Yeah, right. - Are you actually wishing me a happy birthday? Is he wanting to have a birthday? - You want me to have a birthday? - I heard your heart. - Yeah, yeah. I've stopped responding. Like if I haven't heard from you in over four years, like I'm not gonna respond here. - That's a beauty. I kind of go person by person. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I don't think that you need to apply to happy birthday. I think that's a nice thing for you to send a happy birthday. - Usually, I don't, there's no words involved. Usually it's emojis. - Uh-huh. - 'Cause that seems easier to me. Like just heart, heart, heart. - Heart, heart, heart. - And then the well-in-up face. - Right, right, right. - Yeah. - You shouldn't have texted me happy birthday. - I love the well-in-up face. - Do you? - Yeah. - So you're talking about me? - Yeah. - Actually, I've made myself. It's a gay mouse with a gun. - Oh my God. - Love. So. - Great. - Yeah. It's just like. - How does the mouse, gay? - I just, you know, you can make- - Because he has a gun? - No, well, yeah, I can show you. It's like, you can make, you know how you can make your own on- - Yes, but I don't know how to do it. - Whatever. - I just typed in like gay mouse wielding a weapon, because I don't remember why that's what I needed. Like it was a very specific situation where I needed it. Like, like a bird, a mouse on the day of purge, the purge. - Purge. - Who was gay? - Sure. - I don't remember why that was what I needed, but yeah, I'll show you my mouth. - Yeah, let's see it. - He's wearing a- Oh, yeah, he has a purse. - He's like a, he's like in a mob. He's wearing a tux, he's wearing a suit. - Suit? - Gun purse. - Suit's gun in a purse. - Luckily. - Yeah, very pink tail. Anyway, that is my most used emoji, but then it's, and then it's willing up face. Yeah. - Understandable. - Yeah. - Can I ask something about music specifically? - You can. - And albums actually too. - Okay. - Two questions, very dumb, but I've been curious. - Those stupid questions. - How many, how many songs are going to be on your new album? - 14. - Okay, how do they decide on the number of songs? - How do they decide? - Well, like, 'cause it's pretty- - Yeah, someone else decided- - Well, sorry, sorry. But traditionally, it's like 10 to 14. - I usually, okay, so my first album was 13. - Okay. - And I had, the 13th song on that album was about my dad who passed away in 2020 also around the same time that COVID happened and Berkeley went online, which was crazy. - Wow. - And the album came out on the 13th, and the 13th song was about him, and that just, and he passed away on the 13th. - Wow. - And so it felt like very cosmic. And so after that, I was like, okay, every 13th song now on every one of my albums will be about my dad. - Wow. - So now I have to have at least 13 songs. And ending on the 13th track is not great. It's pretty much a downer every time. So I think 14 is like my sweet spot that I found. And yeah. - Wow. - That makes sense. - So did you record those? - So many. - Really. - So there's no more songs. - Or right, or less. - Yeah. - There are so many songs. - Oh, I know that. - For this album, specifically. - Well, I wrote so many songs. And, 'cause I started writing this album, and then we tried to record it the first time in January of 2025, which is like right when the fires happened. And we were recording in Altadena in Mason, my co-producer in guitarist's studio, back studio in his house in Altadena. And we were in there for two days, and then the second day, the fires happened. So we couldn't obviously go back to that. And then I went to do Broadway in February for five months. And then I wrote so many more songs while I was there. And then I came back and I was like, okay, I have two worlds that the songs are happening. And like the one before I left, and the one from New York, right. And then we combined them all. Couple songs got cut, that's okay. That's life. But we ended up with four back, or do you just say goodbye to this forever? - Let me just say there's a lot of songs in my vault. And there's a lot more than normal. So I, something will be happening. - Did they shit? - Do they shit on like a laptop? Are your vault songs just like shit? - My songs are on my phone. I have like thousands and thousands of voice memos. And my notes, I just write the songs on my notes app. - What? - So I just-- - What happened? - That feels like-- - When if your phone got left in a new bear. - Well, it's all in the cloud, right? - How do you get to the cloud? - I don't know. - Like on my laptop? - Oh, I don't know. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Because it's just something to-- - It's just something to think about. - Most of my notes are just on my phone. Like not the cloud. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And those things-- - I'm sorry to-- - Via Apple ID. - I think I could remember most of them. - Really? - I think so. Maybe not the tunings. I think the tunings of my guitar are the things that I will not remember if I don't write them down. - Right. But I'll remember the lyrics and how the song goes. - Yeah. - Wow. - Oh hell no. - Oh hell no. - Not for me. - I'd have to like have someone else that I hire to, I'd sing them the song. And then they-- - They could try it. - And you have to learn this now. And when I lose my phone-- - Sing it back. - In the next week-- - Yeah. - You're gonna have to come over to my house and perform this so I can remember them. - That's amazing. - Yeah, I would remember them. Most of them. - And that's exciting. - So that was the first question, right? - Yeah. And then the second question is, you have, this is your fourth album. - Yes. - That's like a lot of albums. - For like a lot of-- - I think. - There's like a lot of people that like are like in the scene. I guess you can just be releasing singles. And but like for a lot of people like, that have been on the scene for a long time, definitely longer than like 2020. I have like, so I'm gonna have like three albums. - I guess like a Dell. - Four. - Yeah, four, maybe. - Or I hope people take a lot of time between. I kind of am just writing so much that the albums just kind of like present themselves to me. And I'm like, all right, I'm making this one now. But. Yeah, I don't know. I just I don't really think about that. I'm just I just write a lot. Do you ever get writers box? Yes, definitely. What do you do like right now? I haven't written a song in like a while really because it's just like I'm I got to live right you know you kind of have to live Life and like have experiences before you can write about them and even if you have an experience you kind of have to like process it before you can Yeah, put it into words in a poetic way, right? So I feel like Right now I'm just living, you know, do you have the thing of where Do you have the thing of where you have the thing of where You see colors Is that you're gonna ask no, but I do want to talk about it of where when you Have it yep, you got this you got the so cool. You had a thing of where when you have a You have it, okay Grab hold of it release. Oh, I know what it was when my my ideas all come Not related at all like not even close in relation to what you're doing But like everything comes to me when I'm not able to get it down Pin the paper like when I'm about to fall asleep and I have to weigh the options Do you look at your blue light right now and write this down right or risk losing it? I convinced myself every single time you'll remember this is great wake up I knew I had a good idea last night. I would never remember shower down. Yeah, nothing I can't on the toilet So many good ideas have come to me on the toilet, my phone. Where's my it's always happening in the bathroom or on like when I'm running and I'm listening to music and something will come to me. I don't run So wouldn't know about that just like when you're you know when you're driving or when you're it's always these modes that like you have these bus When you're having a stroke and you let me when you're having a stroke POB having a stroke That I can't do you have that do you have that like sometimes? Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I feel like I have to I can never force The inspiration to come like if it's gonna happen. It's gonna happen When I when it's ready and when it wants to like I can't force it So if I feel like it's kind of hard to explain but like when I feel a song like Brewing mm-hmm. It feels like it's on the tip of my tongue like it's like about to come out like Sometimes I'll be like I have this idea and it's like definitely not ready yet But it's like in the background. It's like it's in the back and then like a couple days later Maybe to like be a little more forward and it would like take more of a shape in my brain And I'm like, okay, like I feel like it's about to happen. Uh-huh like you're going into labor literally I'm about to be dilated and then yeah, yeah, I was thinking something different because we were talking about the bathroom And I feel like then when the song is ready It's like I have to get it out of me right so then Out of me also help me literally. Yeah, so then like I'll sit down and All right, I'll write it and when it's ready to come out it will happen in like 20 minutes sometimes whoa it like sometimes happens really fast and Yeah, so I mean obviously sometimes I'll be like falling asleep and my brain will just be like Going like working and working and then I'll have to like pull my phone out and write the ideas down and then so do you write the lyrics first or do you have the Melody, I have done that but it's hard for me to do it that way. Uh-huh, so usually I will Like have the feeling of the songs about it. It's coming. Yeah. It's coming everyone Start with the contract then I start with a chord progression so I'll play the guitar and just like put it in a random tuning Or putting it put it in a tuning that I I have written in before and just play and like see what emerges and then Once I have that I'll kind of like do the lyrics in the melody at the same time So I never I can't really write down lyrics Like ahead of a chord progression because I don't really know what the song is gonna feel like until I have the music behind it You know because I feel like that informs the tone of the song right and then the lyrics can come from that Wow. Yeah, that's really cool. You just talked about that thing where you hear sounds and you you think colors What did you say? I don't think I don't know where you have that before I was just trying to mind read you and help you along because you were Yeah, I was struggling back then but it's it all worked out it did all work out, but I when you were talking about the feeling of when you are on like the precipice of a song Like that is kind of what I was thinking you know like it's back here I always think like I have this idea it feels like a cavity Mm-hmm, and like I can feel it on my teeth. Yeah, you know And then when you start putting on on paper like if I think of like the the makeup of a joke I think of like circles and squares and lines and like how they're connected Like how they're built do you see that with music or is it just like one flow state line line line line line? It's just kind of like it's a dream of consciousness. It's like yeah when I think about a song like And when it's like in the back of my mind when it's like not ready to come out yet It's just like a very amorphous like blob and then avenge and then when it comes out is just like okay here it is I think it literally and sometimes it feels like it's not coming from me. I know a lot of creatives talk about This but it I got it feels like hey, it's me Margaret. It feels like sometimes I'm just channeling it from somewhere like this song already existed And I'm just putting it on paper sometimes it feels like that sometimes it's harder to write a song sometimes it's like This is a this is a battle but most of the time it feel it's very easy and Then and then I'll go through periods like right now. I haven't written a song in so long and I'm like Will I ever write a good song ever? How did I ever write a good song? What do you write a good song? I don't know well came first your voice or like your love of songwriting my voice I think I've been singing since I was in like undergraduate school like because I was gonna say like what would you do if you just like had this love of songwriting But didn't have your voice no, I think I mean obviously I started out not as good as I am now, but It was a little rough when I first started singing, but I feel like you have a range to obviously to do Lighting the painting and then you listen to your Broadway right and it's like wow well I took vocal lessons for Broadway like really Went deep because I was like I need I need to be I need to be good. I need to I need to show them what I'm made of You know and you did you are letting them know right now. You're like it's easy for me. I don't give a shit like God touches my brain sometimes but then sometimes it's hard. It's really a toss-up. Do you want to go back to Broadway? I would love to whoa. It was actually like one of the most transformative experiences of my entire life like I feel like it Built my confidence so much. It brought me out of my shell. I feel like I mean I did theater in high school Yeah, obviously with theater kid and I feel like Even in high school I was so shy before I did theater and then Doing theater like brought me out of my shell it like Showed me like oh, I can I can take up. Yeah space and like people will want to see that and Doing it this time was just Magical I mean the people that I met everyone in that cast was so incredible. I Love them all so much. It was such a warm group to be a part of and they were all so welcoming and I learned so much about myself and I wrote so many songs while I was there was so inspired by the music that I got to sing every night. It was so beautiful and It was it was scary and really hard and I had to learn how to like Sing through my nerves. I was gonna learn how to kind of thing as a concert like yeah But you can't stop right in in one of my own shows. I can just be like oh my god. That was right IZ but you're a character on stage like you I had to learn this out to you. No, it's not me Yeah, I had to learn how to move like make a mistake and then move on it has let it go. Yeah, you got to keep going Yeah, which was hard because I hate making mistakes and I I used to like spiral about that a lot and sometimes if it was a If it was a bad mistake like one time my voice cracked real bad And I spiraled about that for the rest of the show. I don't know and notice honestly. It was pretty noticeable I think but stuff like that you kind of just have to Like that's actually the beauty of live theater. Yeah, so that was hard for me. Yeah, I'm a perfectionist right But it also I feel like I I came into my body more like I feel like the first couple the during the preview process Which is like when the show is playing but it's like Critics aren't allowed to come yet, right? So it's just like and you're working through things every day Like we would go to rehearsal during the day and then we'd do the show at night during that process I saw such a like growth in in my Self I felt like the beginning of that process. I was timid like I see you know bootlegs Hate those but I've seen like clips of me during the beginning of preview experience and I'm like wow I seem so like closed and like shy and timid and then I felt like by the end of the whole thing like closing night I was so much more Confident and yeah, it like really it was a crazy learning experience. It was so awesome and It just like I feel like I came back from that. 'Cause also it was so fun to just go and do something so different. - Yeah. - And with no, I didn't know anyone. I like none of my bandmates, none of my, everyone, all my whole team like lives in LA. - Right. - So I just went to New York by myself and I was like, I'm just gonna do this. - Wow. - Because I was burnt out for making music. There was no joy in it for me anymore. I was like, I need to fill other cups so that when I come back to making music it's fun again. - Wow. - I did. - Went back to making music. Like, how did you change? Like, did you change as Lizzy, like the performer? - I think so. I mean, first of all, my voice was so much stronger when I came back and when we recorded a lot of this stuff, all of it, I was, I could hear like my voice - Wow. - Being different and like just stronger. And also the songs that I wrote there were different from the songs that I wrote before I went there and they're all just like, yeah, it was really transformative. - It was really crazy. - I loved it so much and I wanna do it again. I mean immediately. - What would your dream role be? - And it's just normal. - Obviously, that Natalie is a dream role. - Well, this space. - Yilly shocked what happens when you speak things out in this space. - Oh, great. - Make it happen, y'all. - There it is. - Yeah. - I heard something about next normal coming back. - I did too. - I heard the rumblings. - I heard a rumbling. - And my team is aware. - Okay, it's normal. - There's every little bit of that stage. - Hello. - Oh my god. - Oh, you would kill super wine. - I would really die. - Do you think that anyone, if they took voice lessons, could sing, I'm mostly asking for myself? 'Cause I like I've really been wanting to- - She's a good singer. - I'm not a good singer, but I think you could ask for me. - You could ask for me. - I think you can match pitch. - Okay. - I think that is the prerequisite. I think, 'cause there are some people I know that truly they'll sing along to a song and it's just not even close. - Right, it's like you're a lost cause. - And I'm like, wow, that is so crazy. - Yeah. - It just blows my mind. But I think if you can match a pitch and like carry a tune, I think yeah. - I just don't understand, I don't see how singing lessons would make my throat not hurt. - It is transforming. - You have to find the right teacher. - Okay. - I feel like I went through a couple and then the teacher that I ended up with, Vicki who, Victoria Clark, is like an iconic Broadway actress. She was in the light in the Piazza. And like, so many other things. - Is that inspired by that? - Not consciously, but like probably subconsciously. - I love what that happens. - But she like really just put it in a way that made me understand. Cause I feel like a lot of voice teachers will be like, - Raise your knee up. - Yeah, yeah. - So just let your soft palate. And I'm like, what the fuck does that mean? - Right. - How do I do that? But she put it in words that like made sense to me. And yeah, there's just like technique is really important. I feel like if you learn the basics of technique, then you're set, kind of. - All right, I'm gonna sign up. - I think you should. - Should. - I'm worried about like the person I would become if I could sing really well. Cause like, I don't know how you didn't sing this whole podcast. Cause like if I had a voice like that, it would be, I would not. - Oh my god. - It would be, I couldn't sing. - It would be pretty bad. It would be pretty bad. So it might be worth me not exploring it. Especially because you're a Broadway girlie. - Yeah. - And then you could just like sing Broadway songs all the time. - I want to like something. - And then maybe you could be on Broadway. - Maybe you could be on Broadway. - I think my stage fright for Broadway specifically like, sorry to bring up diarrhea again, but like I before any show I go see and blowing up the theater restroom because I'm so nervous. - Even just in the audience. - I'm so nervous for everybody else. - Oh my god. - I kind of, I kind of feel that there's something about Broadway like, cause I guess it's like it's live theater. - But anything's so exciting. - Empathy-induced IBS is. - I have really bad Empathy-induced IBS. - That means your good, pure heart is at work. - I don't know if that's what it means, but. - Maybe get a colonoscopy. - I stopped. - I want one. - Voice lessons and a colonoscopy. - I want, I want. - That's what I'm trying to do. - Yeah, I would love that. - Cause that's why I stopped eating gluten. When I did Broadway I was like, okay I need to stop because it was not, it was not helping. - Yeah. - It was actually hurting. - Yeah. - And I was like, I can't be in the bathroom every time I'm off stage, you know? - And plus I was on stage like basically the whole time for that show. - That just wouldn't work. - So I was like, I can't, like oh my god. Like for me, like I can give myself a stomach ache. Like if I just think about it. Like and so if I was on stage, like that's what I would do. - Cause yeah, I would just be sitting. Cause I would just sit there. - I would be having a beer of getting a stomach ache and then I would give myself a stomach ache and then it's like them what do you do on stage? - Right. See one time I was on stage, oh this has nothing to do with the stomach, but I had just like gotten over a, I had strep and then I had like a sinus infection. And I came back and I was still like having a lingering call. And I was standing on stage in the back, like just, you know, doing my thing. And I was supposed to be on stage for this scene that was happening over there. And then I would come down stage and I'd sing my big act to number, like my big song. And I was standing up there and I was feeling a tickle and I was like, oh, I was trying to like get rid of it. And then suddenly I was like, okay, I have to cough and then I started coughing and then I couldn't stop coughing. - Oh no. - So I ran off stage. I'm supposed to be on stage. I ran off stage. Are you mic'd? The mic is not on, okay. But I did during the scene I had to sing like some a's or something in the background. It wasn't that point yet, but I ran off stage. I was coughing, I couldn't stop. I was drinking water. I was like, how the fuck am I supposed to do this? And then they turn my mic on and I just like choked out the a's and then I coughed at the end of it, but they hadn't turned my mic off yet. So the cough and there's reverb on this. There's like an echo. So the cough just like echoed the house. - Bro, what a shit her pants in the audience for you. - And then I had to go back on stage to sing my song. - Wow. - And it was just me and the audience for like four minutes. And so I went on and I did, I tucked a cough drop in the corner of my mouth. - I bet you had a good little rest. - And I prayed. I just prayed. I was like, please let me get through this. I went back, I did the scene. I was like the whole time when I didn't have to be saying anything. And then I sang the song and somehow I got through it. - Wow. - And it traumatized me because then the next show, I was standing up there at the same point and I was like, what if it started happening again? - I know, that's so scary. - Oh my god. It was like the panic that went through my body. Because when I went backstage, the stage manager was like, do we need to pause the show? And I was like, no, we can't pause the show. That's so insane. I can't, I can't do that to everyone. - Oh my god. - So I was just like, I'm just gonna fucking push through. - Wow. - That's too much pressure for a young lady. - But wouldn't like, wouldn't understudy just run out and said, like they would just have paused the show until I got it under control. - Wow. - I would have kept going. But I was like, no, we have to keep, I'm not gonna stop the show for this. I'm not, I can't be a diva. - Yeah. - You know, you would just be taking care of yourself. - No, I, I just pushed through and then that's crazy. - It was terrifying, but yeah, wow. - Real scary. - You are so strong. - That's the only thing that like really happened on stage that was like terrifying. - If that's the worst thing. - I tripped one time though. - But there was a bench right there, so I just fell into the bench. - Oh good. I saw in a show, I saw recently someone felt like pretty bad. Yeah, and like, it sucks because like, if I were a friend, I would tell her like, I'm sure no one's even thinking about, or no one noticed or is even thinking about it. I think about it in a good amount. (laughs) So I feel bad about that. - Yeah. - That's tough. - It's like a live theater. - What are you gonna do? - Yeah, exactly, live theater. - And it's kind of fun. Like, you got a little, yeah, a little extra. - You got a unique show. - I did, I did, I felt so bad and my stomach hurts so bad. - Actually, I don't get in, I don't feel, it's like an an embarrassment for people that fall. Like I'm like, I think, that's great that you fell. - I think it, I think it, like some people can use it, you know? - Yeah. - Especially if it's a comedy. - I think it's more impressive for someone to fall and then get up and keep going. Like that is so incredible to me. Like that would make the show for me that you were able to carry on over like. - See the things that might actually fell, I think I would just start laughing. - You could tell she was like hurting. - Oh no, no, no, like her soul. - Oh. - Yeah. - Falling is okay. I think falling is, if I'm there, I encourage a one fall. 'Cause to me it, like, I'm like, oh my god, they're performing. 'Cause I'll get so locked in. - Who are real people? - Watching a performance that I'm like, I'm watching a movie and you forget that people are doing this real time. - Right, that's true. - And then you see a fall and it's like, these people are human. - Yeah. - Are they human or are they dancers? - Yeah. - Good work. - Never understood that song. That's a mystery to me. - Which one is that? - Are we human or are we dancers by Coldplay? - I don't know. - Is that the title of the song? - Are we human or are we dancers? Copyright infringement. The episode gets canceled. What is a human or dance? - Oh, it's by the killer's part. - Oh, not Coldplay. - Oh yeah, I don't think that's a human one. But I think that's a good quote. Okay, thanks. We can listen to it in the bonus. - Yeah, oh cool. - Yeah. - Okay, well, let's give Lizzy the floor to plug the album. - Okay. - Her fourth album. - Fourth album. - Where should I look? - Here. - Good question. - There's, we've just camera maxing this. - A few cameras. That one? The one that moves or the one that's static at least three any one of these three. Oh my god. Okay. I feel cold, too. Okay, dealers twice My album angel comes out September 18th Yeah, that's it Lighting the painting is out now. Yes, it is. You can appreciate the album too. Yeah, that's an option for you Like all the vinyls We just released a seven inch vinyl today for the light in the painting on one side on the other side is the demo that we made in the Altadena studio before the fires happens wow So yeah, and the cover is like a paint by number of the actual album cover. So you can like Color it love the album cover by the way. Thanks me to my house. Oh me too. Tidy shout out Tidy She painted that well Lizzie you are an angel. So stop you guys are thanks for having me So fun. Oh my god. Yeah, let's manifest make it happen. Yeah, all right you guys. Thank you for listening Thank you, and thank you Lizzie, and we'll see you guys in the bonus This week I'm close friends It's the opposite of the moon. Where are things happier density. Thank you. Played out would have lived in silver like Aristotle's view of the chair Create groups of four. Oh, yeah, we played this Sign up on TMG studios.tv to watch a full bonus episode