75. Fellowship and Submission (1981)

[music] Welcome to the Dallas Willard Podcast where today we'll get to hear Dallas explain the discipline of not having the last word. I'm Rebecca Willard Heatsley, your host and Dallas's daughter. There's a story that's been circulating for a while about a student at USC who challenged my father in a rather offensive way near the end of one of his philosophy classes. My dad let the student complete his statements and then simply said he thought that would be a good place to end the class for the day. Afterward, another student asked my dad why he hadn't corrected the first student. His answer was, "I'm practicing the discipline of not having the last word." We'll hear about that practice today as an example of the spiritual discipline of submission. This is session 10 of an 11-part series on spiritual disciplines that was recorded in 1981. If you've been listening to this series, you know that this was recorded on cassette tapes and sometimes we miss a little of the teaching when the tape had to be turned over to the other side. That happens again today and we may have missed a little marriage advice. Today's topic is fellowship and submission. You will observe on your course outline you will see that the last topic which is for next week is celebration and worship as a discipline. But I've been thinking that it might be a good thing if I could give a large part of that last hour to questions. And what I would like to do is to give at least half of the last hour to questions and I would like to ask that you try to make them practical questions. I'd like to say whatever I can to help those of you who are seriously undertaking the kinds of activities we've suggested to deal with questions about how you do it. And I don't mean to say I won't talk about any non-practical questions. If you really are bothered by some of those doctrinal questions relating to what we have taught and there are many, many such questions. And what we are today seriously in need of a theology of the Christian life which is adequate to the place of the disciplines. One of our problems for quite a number of years now I think in American Christianity has been that our theology was not adequate to the practices of the way as set forth in the script. And in part our teaching of grace and a lack of clarity about how grace relates to works has that has greatly hindered us. So if you do have questions like that I'll try to address them but I would like to at least also address practical questions. So keep that in mind and I'll be glad to do my best to help you along those lines if I can at all. Now this evening we come to the two disciplines of fellowship and submission. And as I have been doing I want to remind you once again that a discipline is an activity consciously undertaken. Involving of course the body but consciously undertaken some process which we put our bodies through. Activities in which we expect to meet God and learn by His grace to live in His character. And fellowship and submission in this respect are two of the absolutely indispensable disciplines. Let's think a moment about what they are. They're very closely related. Fellowship if you just take the word and break it up you might think that it means being in the same boat. Fellowship. Right. Fellowship and that's a good way. I hope you remember that. Fellowship. You have fellowship with someone when you put yourself in the same boat with them. That's I think pretty hard to do. We're going to study some passages tonight that bear on some of the problems. But fundamentally when we have fellowship with another person we put ourselves on the same plane with them. We identify with them. We identify with their deficiencies as well as with their strong points. And that's very hard for us to do sometimes. Sometimes we even make a condition of fellowship that whoever we're going to have fellowship with will come up to our standards on all matters. It's very easy to slip into a kind of Phariseism about our fellowship. I don't smoke. I don't chew. I don't go with girls that do. And you can make that pretty grim when you get right down to it and begin to push all the details that you might have in mind about what is absolutely right and all of that sort of thing. And it is one of those things that we have to work through that being right is not necessarily the most important thing in the world. I've said that to you before. I hope you think about it. Submission is a putting of ourselves under the interest of another person. It is like servants being a servant. We talked about being a servant. It's like being a servant except it is more of an attitude. Service is normally very specific. It certainly may and should presuppose an attitude of submission. But it means as Paul says, let each esteem himself let each esteem others better than himself. And as Paul says, let every man look not on his own things, but on that of others. Now you can see I think that fellowship and submission are bound to be very closely related. Indeed you can put it this way that all fellowship that is rich and right for the Spirit of Christ will be one in which submission is the dominant attitude. So let's think then about fellowship and about submission. Start with a couple of passages one from Hebrews 10th chapter verses 24 and 25. And you will recognize I think part of this because it is so often used to try to get us to go to church. And going to church is a very important part of fellowship. And I will try to say a thing or two about that just at the end of the art is evening. But if you look at Hebrews 10, you will see the writer here giving some specific admonitions. And he says verse 24, let us consider one another to provoke into love and two good works. Now this is an expression of submission. Here are people who consider others with the purpose of provoking them calling them fourth. Calling them forth provoking. Calling them forth to love and good works. Now if you care about other people you will want the very best for them. And the very best for them is to have a life full of love and good works. That's the very best for them. And so as you love them you will call them forth. You will think about how this might be done. And of course this doesn't mean that you are going to go stand in front of their house and holler them out and say come on love and do good works. It is much more subtle than that of course. And that is why it says consider one another. You have to consider other people. You have to pay attention to them. And we are going to say a little more about that in a few moments. But paying attention to people. Thinking about how you might lead them into a path of love and good works. Now that's the most wonderful thing you can do for another person. Considering them and trying to call them forth. And verse 25 now goes along with this. And we should never use verse 25 without using verse 24. Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together. As the manner of some is but exhorting one another and so much the more as you see the day approaching. That is the day when things will culminate in the return of Christ. So as we consider one another to call one another forth to one another. love and to good works. Sometimes Paul uses the word edifying to build one another up in love and good works. We will want to be with them. Now it's in that context that we hear the admonition not forsaking the assembling of yourselves together. We must be very honest when we come to church and be very honest with why we come to church and what we do when we come to church. If we have come into church for the purpose of provoking others and being provoked by them until love and good works, then that's a good reason for assembling together. And we have to be very careful about our church services to make sure that opportunity is left for that to happen. If we don't, we're apt to move in the direction where you have all of these isolated people sitting in the chairs and they're all listening to one person or a beautiful choir or watching a lovely program, but there is no interaction between the people. And you must pray for your ministry, whoever that may be, that they would be able to lead in a union of souls in which people are actually called out to love and good works. We often call our services religious services. You may remember some time ago there was a statement made by a wise minister and had wide circulation. He always ended the church meetings with the words "Now the service begins." He ended the meeting with that. The function of the assembling is to provoke people into a life of service to God and of service to man. We really have to think that through. And if we do, then we may be more open to making our meetings true meetings of love and fellowship would one another. But if we don't, we are apt to be distracted by the performances, good though they may be. And as ministers and singers and all of this teachers, we have to learn how to behave in a way that we'll be pleasing, hopefully helpful to people. But the point of going to church is not to taste the preacher. The point of going to church is to be with the people. Whether the preacher is good or bad, that isn't the point. You see, when we approach it in that way, we have gotten our lines crossed. The point of going is to assemble ourselves together with one another, wherever that may be. Not to have each kind of one-on-one relation with whoever is performing. Now there should be ministers, of course, and the music is wonderful and all of the things that we have in the way of categories of ministry. They're wonderful things when they are blessed of God. And they should be, and you should pray for that, and you should seek that in your church. You should have men and women who can minister, as I know you do in this church, you can minister the grace of God in a powerful way. But you must never, no matter how glorious, nor how grand your ministers are, forget the fact that you come to church to be with other people in an attitude of love and submission and fellowship. Love. We have to talk now a little bit about love because the only reason for submission and fellowship is love, and love also brings us into a right posture with our pride, and pride is one of the main problems with fellowship as well as with submission. Let me read you a few passages from the little letter of John, or the first epistle of John. Let's read first from the second chapter, and the seventh through eleventh verse. Now here, the old apostle is summing up. Everything that he had to say in one word, and he says, "Brother and I write no new commandment unto you, but an old commandment which you had from the beginning." The old commandment is the word which you have heard from the beginning. Again, a new commandment. Now, what John is saying is, yes, you heard this before. It's old stuff. Okay, this is old stuff. But then he's saying, no, it really isn't. A new commandment I write unto you, which thing is true in him and in you because the darkness is past, and the true light now shines. In other words, he's saying, "Well, we knew all along. We knew since Moses that we should love on another, but only in Jesus Christ did we come to understand what love is like." Oh, up towards us in that while we were yet in rebellion, it gave his life for us. See, Moses had the words, but he didn't know what it meant. It takes a long while for these significant things to soak into us. That isn't just true in religion. I mean, ask yourself, how many of you really knew what you were saying when you got married? I mean, really. There's no way you could have. Your experience simply did not provide the substance which you could put into the words. And so, someone prepared some pretty words that would be adequate to receive the substance as you grew. And as your experience together filled out, and then you begin to understand, you know, there are some fellowships in which people occasionally repeat their marriage vows. And it's beautiful to see because normally in those circumstances they really know what they're saying. And so, John, likewise, you're just like, "Well, sure, you've known about love all the time. You've known about it. I'm Moses. You go back and do the ronum. It says, "Love your neighbors yourself." It says, "Love God with all your heart and soul and mind and strength." But we didn't know what that meant until we saw it in the true light. Verse 8. Now then he goes on to say, "He that's saved, he is in the light, and hated his brother is in darkness even now." Our world is cursed with people who say, "Oh, I've got the light. I've got the light. I know the truth. I believe all the truth." While in their hearts there is boiling hatred. And John just says, "No, you don't have it if you have hatred." He that love with his brother abided in the light. And there is no occasion of stumbling in him. The person who is filled with love, with divine love, is not the sort of person that is going to cause others to stumble because they look at him and say, "Well, that person is filled with hatred. That person is filled with bitterness. What does his religion do for him or her?" Those kind of people cause others to stumble. They say, "We've got the light and their body and their mind and their spirit is filled with wrath." And so that causes people to stumble. And they say, "Religion isn't worth anything." Didn't do anything for him. He's got it. Of course, what John is saying, "He ain't got it." He that hated his brother is in darkness and walketh in darkness and know it not whether he go because that darkness hath blinded his eyes. Now, if I had time this evening and I did give you the verses in John 4, verse John 4, verses 7 through 21, I really hope that you will study that through carefully and try to take that as a literal and true description of what the life of love is and how it casts out all fear and just transforms our lives. Now, you see, one of the reasons why I have trouble with fellowship is because we're afraid. We're afraid. And so we, I don't want to get in the boat with him. And it may be he's going to do something to me or maybe if I get in the boat with him, he'll find out about me. I remember a little child. I'd dreaded to go to stay overnight at other people's homes because I was afraid that they would find out what kind of underclose I had. And silly things like that, you know. And this was terribly mortifying. I thought of it. It was just, I just couldn't stand that. And I was amazed that others who weren't bothered by things like that. But you see, if you get in the same boat with the other person, they're going to find out about you. They don't know all about you. And if there is in you a lot of mistrust and darkness, they'll find out about that. Now, they may be ready to pretend that they didn't. And we do a lot of that, you know. We've learned to pretend somehow that everything is all right, where things aren't all right, because we believe it's nice to pretend that they're all right if they aren't. And so we may engage in a kind of game with one another, but we will know. And this is one of the things that makes us withdraw and stay away from one of them. And then, of course, there is a genuine fear of being hurt. Genuine fear of being hurt. This affects our fellowship in the area of submission also, because you see, I say, if I submit myself to them, what's going to happen to me? If I elevate their good over my good, who's going to take care of my good? See, that's where our faith in God makes all the difference. And if we don't really believe that God is going to take care of us, we won't be able to submit ourselves to others, because we will ever, lastingly, be determined to make things come out right as we see it and enable to turn them loose and trust God. In communal matters in a church, or in a family, or in a business, or wherever you may be in dealing with others, is always that great temptation to push forward and be first and be strongest and say the last word. Oh, that's, by the way, an excellent exercise, to train yourself not to have to have the last word. That's an excellent exercise. It really is. I commend that one to you. I did use it once in my life before I was perfect to help me. No, I did. I had, I had, there was a period in my life where I engaged in a very conscious exercise of not straightening it out of just letting it stand. I found that the, the sun came up in the morning. And indeed, I didn't find anyone going severely astray because I didn't get the last word in. And it's a marvelous exercise. I really commend it to you. It's, it's one of the very simple, nice acts of submission that you can make and learn to dwell in. Now, of course, never make a law of a discipline. Never make a law of a discipline. And you will have to use your judgment because sometimes there are things that are so important that you do have to stay with it. But normally, that's not the case. Normally, it simply isn't important. And the only thing that is that the issue is whether or not you are going to get your everlasting last word yet. That's a wonderful thing to lay down. And you can do that as an exercise in submission. Well, in any case, I do hope you will study now in con, in connection with the meaning of law of this passage in John 1 John chapter four. And try to think. And this has tremendous implications for our lives as Christians and for our churches that a person who does not have love does not know God. And I'm going to say that to you again. He that love is not, no is not God. There's no way you can avoid that. No way. All right. Now, let's begin to look at some more detailed points. If we have before us the general idea of fellowship and the general idea of submission and its relationship to love, and let's look at some of the things that come up as we approach this matter in greater detail. First of all, a very well-known passage, or at least just one verse before well-known passage in Ephesians. Normally, I guess the truth of the matter is, normally we begin at the verse immediately after this verse, but Ephesians 5. And the place we usually begin, I suppose is verse 22, which says, "Wives submit yourselves under your own husbands as unto the Lord." But the principle is in verse 21. Mutual submission submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of the Lord. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of the Lord. Now, you have to get rid of some images that you might have as you look at that verse. For example, two people trying to get one another to go through the door before they do. So you could think of a picture here of the "Oh, no, you go, no, you go." And that's sort of the thing. And normally, that is a situation in which very strangely there is a kind of an inverse function here of submission, where submission has become a matter of pride. See? I'm going to prove to you that I'm better submitted than you are. Now, you see the way to solve that situation is you accept a place of humility and admit the other person is a better submitted than you are and let them open the door for you. And you go on, right? So you resolve that problem. And then, of course, if you want to think about it that way, as you walk through, you say, "See how much better I am than he is." I let him have his way. It's wonderful to think about these things because see, what they all bring out really is that what we're talking about is something much deeper than the particular action that happens. We're talking about an attitude. And one of the things that we learn to do in submission to others is to let them do for us. That may sound strange because we think of submission as, you know, if I submit to you, then I'm doing for you. But you see, it all depends on who you are. And every one of you who have had children know what it is like to submit to their desire to do something for you, whether you wanted it or not. And you learn to cooperate with them in such a way that you can relate to them. Little child, of course, when they're young, they even have trouble telling a joke. And so you have to learn how to listen to them while they come to the point and get their joke just right. And it's very important to love them in that way. It's one of the most loving things you can do for the little child because it isn't that way that you open up an area of life which they see and you and want to enter. And so you make possible that entry. It's a beautiful thing. And so one of the things we do in submitting, especially in the fellowship of the church, where we do have by and large people who are so concerned to love one another and to do it the best they can. And we do it at all thumbs much of the time. But the truth of the matter is by and large. And this is one of the main reasons we're going to church. Is there such lovely people there? I think they may have a lot of trouble getting it over, but they really are there. They really are there, you know? And their hearts, whether they're mouth or their feet or whatever else is, is in the right place. Their heart basically is in the right place. They want to. And so one of the things we have to do as we live together in the church is to help one another serve us, you know? And let them help us serve them. And it's a very important part of our act of submission. Mutual submission. Let each consider the things of others and not the things of themselves. And there will be a kind of blessed loving confusion in the midst of those people as they submit themselves one to another. And it's one of the most beautiful things in the world. You see again where there is love, everything doesn't have to be neat. Everything doesn't even have to work out right. Love covers a multitude of sins. And the most important meaning of that is precisely in the loving fellowship of the church. Because in that fellowship, because there is mutual submission and love, everything does not have to be right. In fact, very few things have to be right, because there is love. And that kind of submission then makes the place or fellowship. Mutual submission. I am tempted to say a few things about husbands and wives. And I'm going to give in to that temptation. You cannot get a linear order out of mutual submission. You cannot get a one, two, three, four in order out of mutual submission. There is no way you can do that. No way. The only way you can understand mutual submission is not in terms of an order of that's short, but in terms of people who are side by side supporting one another, side by side supporting one another. And in the case of a husband and the wife, it is a matter of two people coming to know one another, coming to understand the jobs, the responsibilities, the work, the expectations, the hopes, the fears, the weaknesses and the strengths of the other. And then in the measure that lies in them, doing their best to help that other person with their job. You cannot codify that. You cannot say things like, "The man earns the money and the woman writes the checks." There is no way you can codify that. There will be individual differences all along, but the general point is very simple and very firm. You have two people standing beside one another in the Lord, submitting to one another by respecting and knowing. What the other person is up against and what they're doing and what they're hoping for, and then giving of themselves to help that other person fulfill that vocation. And of course, there is a difference between men and women. As the French say, "Viva la Difference." You know, let's be happy about the difference. There is a difference. And God made them that way. There wouldn't have been much point in it if there wasn't a difference, you see. And it isn't just, in my opinion, it is not just a biological difference. Child and the parent and all of these relationships, the master and the servant and so on, but I am going to resist that temptation. Now, let me give you a couple of passages on relationships, one specific one in the church and one a general one to other human beings. First of all, concerning elders, in 1 Peter the 5th chapter and verses 1 through 7. 1 Peter, chapter 5, verses 1 through 7. This is a directive from Peter as to how the more advanced people, the more advanced people in the congregation will lead. Now, I'm going to swat a hornet's nest here and walk off from it by saying that in my opinion in the New Testament, the elder is not anything like what we recognize today as a church office. The elder is not an appointment to a specific job in the church. The elder is simply a person who is more advanced in the way. And you know, the Presbyterian church is, that's the elder's church. Presbyteros is the word for elder here. And the idea is very simple that those who have advanced in the way should lead. They should be the ones who lead and they will lead by the way of teaching and way of other services which they will conduct in the congregation. Now, Peter says, "The elders which are among you, I exhort, who am also an elder." And Peter called himself an elder because he was advanced in the way. He was a man of great experience in the kingdom of God. And not only an elder, but a witness to the sufferings of Christ and also a partaker of the glory that shall be revealed. Now, he says, "Feed the flock of God which is among you. Feed the flock of God." Taking the oversight thereof, not of constraint. Don't let it be something you have to be pushed into or something you have to be bribed to do. Nor for filthy lucre, I love that word. I just somehow says it all. "But are they ready mine? That is, you have in you a readiness to assume the responsibilities of the elder without being paid or without being constrained. And then here is the way you are to do it. Neither is being lords over God's heritage, but being examples to the flock. That's the form of submission that the elder takes in relationship to the group that he leads. He leads, by example, not by leading from the rear in the fashion of generals who sit back at headquarters while the others go out and die. That this was the person who walks right into the guns. He does not say, "Go do it." He says, "Follow me." "Follow me." "Do what I do." As Paul said, "The things you have seen and heard in me that do, and the God of peace will be with you." And on the other hand, the younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yay, all of you, be subject one to another. There is that Blessed Principle again of mutual submission as a basis for fellowship, and be clothed with humility for God resisteth the proud and give it grace to the humble. The person who walks in pride has got a heavy headland. The person who walks in humility accomplishes things by a power that is not their own, because God works with them. He gives grace to them. Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that in due time, He may exalt you. Now, generally then, we want to say that mutual submission is not only the rule within the home, but also within the church. And I want to give you a general principle also from Romans the 12th chapter. And I would like to have time to read that link from this chapter because it describes the life that is in the community of the redeemed, but just a few verses. Let's read from 12 verse 13, distributing to the necessity of the saints given to hospitality. I may have time to say a word about hospitality in a few moments. A bishop, for example, was to be a lover of hospitality. It is a way of having fellowship and of submitting oneself to those whom the bishop leads. Bless them which persecute you. Bless and curse not. This is real fellowship. Rejoice with them that do rejoice and weep with them that weep. See, that's being in the same boat, isn't it? Rejoicing with them that rejoice and weeping with them that weep. Now, you know, you can't really do that unless you have a denified with people. You can't decide. You see someone rejoicing and just decide, well, I'll rejoice with them. No, you have to be close enough to them so that their joy touches you. You have to be so involved with them in fellowship that their weeping makes you weak. Rejoice with them that rejoice and weep with them that weep. Be all the same mind one toward another. Mind not things of mind not high things. Don't be always paying attention to what is best and greatest and first and all those sorts of things. By the way, I'm forgiven off side remark here about this, but I have noticed I get, you know, I get 15 million different papers from Christian institutions. I'm sure you do too. I don't know what the US males would do without them. I get all of these and some of them of course are very good, but if you just watch the ones that come across, you're apt to notice or at least I have noticed how many very fine institutions are given to insisting on how they are the first and the greatest and the biggest and the longest and whatever the est. You know, see, that's minding high things. Americans are generally afflicted with this awful disease of wanting to be in the Guinness Book of World Records. Can you imagine a book of records? It's not as bad as that book of lists, but almost, almost a book of records and it has some of the most trivial things in the world. Now, you see, that's just first ism, high ism, big ism, and that's what really Paul is saying here. You just stop looking at that. Stop looking at that. Stop competing in your relationships to others. Don't let that determine your fellowship. The biggest, the most beautiful, the richest, the tallest, the longest, the fastest, the whatever, just forget it. Forget it. We really crucify one another on these things, you know, and our children begin to suffer from it. And our school system is in such a large manner set up in terms of comparisons, testing numbers, ranking in grade, and all of that sort of thing. And we have to really be very careful about it. Now, Paul is giving us some advice here just on this point. He's saying, don't mind high things. but condescends to men of low East State. to those who are 15th, who never got started. Condescene, you know we have now come to the place where in our language condescension is regarded as a bad attitude. It says a lot about the status of pride in our world today. Someone says, "I don't want anyone condescending to me." Well why not? If I'm down here and they're up there, it's a nice way for us to get together. This for him to come down to where I am. Jesus condescended and came down to us. What's wrong with condescension? You say, "Well, that means they think they're higher than I am, so they have to descend to where I am." I hope someone's higher than I am, don't you? I hope someone is. At least a few people. And to tell you the truth, I'd like to get close to some of them. If I got close to some of them who were better, they might lift me up a bit. You see the truth of the matter is condescension strikes our pride. We should be able to walk beyond that and we should be able to recognize where others are lower than us in some scale, whether of money or education or beauty or whatever it may be. We should be able to recognize that. How awfully do people suffer in our culture who are not pretty? Or who think they're not pretty? We should be able, we should have that grace which enables us to bridge the gap. And in all of our splendiferous beauty, richness and grace, walk naturally with them, be with them, and be able to do so in such a way that there is not constantly an issue that we are bright and they are stupid, we are pretty and they are ugly. You see, God can give us that grace to do that and it is one of the greatest needs in all of the world today. To overcome all of this blasted superiority stuff and recognize where we are different and serve others with it. And if we are beautiful, let us beautify the world for them. And if we are bright, let us serve them by our brightness. If we are rich, let us carry it as the ministers of God and walk humbly with them with the recognition that before God, we are all on the same plane. That's all Paul is talking about. And descend to men of low estate. Well, let me just give you three words to help you as you relate to other people in fellowship and its submission. And I think if I can just spend a word, spend a moment or two on three words here in your relationship to others as you undertake the discipline of fellowship and submission. And these are things now which you will have to learn to do, dear friends. God will help you and if you are intent on learning to do it, you will be able to learn it. And the three words are these, accept the person, accept the person, accept them for what they are, secondly listen to them, listen to them, and then thirdly understand them. Accept, listen and understand. All of these things are matters which, to put it very simply, people just die for someone to accept them, to listen to them, to understand. And everyone else is so busy wanting others to accept them and listen to them and understand them. But no one gets accepted, listen to and understand. You have to be willing to step forward and break the circle and you can do that in your faith that God accepts you, listens to you and understands you. Now I am just putting it as very simply as I can because I think it is so important and I really want you to hang on to this. When you are in your fellowship and in your submission, go at it with the attitude of acceptance of the person for what they are, do not throw them away, do not condemn them, don't start thinking in terms of how wonderful it would be if they were something else. It would be wonderful if they were something else probably. Just don't allow yourself to go at them in that attitude, accept them for what they are. And then listen to them, really listen to them. Just assume you already know, listen. The hardest thing in the world is to listen to people, especially for those of us who are right about everything. It is just so hard for us to listen because you know probably we already do know the truth, but the point is that the listening is a way of receiving that person. Many times we don't know the truth about it's a way of receiving that person. It's a way of loving that person. The first act of love is attention. You cannot love people without attending to it. And then understanding comes when you get the freedom to accept them and you get the freedom and have the ability to listen to them, you will be given an understanding of why they are the way they are and what if anything can be done to help them. I'm going to recommend a little book for those of you who are really interested in getting close to people. And about the only thing I don't like for my present purposes is the title. It's a book by Dr. Gary Collins, a fine man called How to Be a People Helper. And the reason I don't in this context like the title is because I don't want to stress the helper business. You will help people if you do what I'm saying, but somehow if we put the helping up front often everything goes wrong. And so what I'm saying is this is an excellent book for helping you get a grasp on what it is to accept people, to listen to people, to understand people. One of the wonderful things about this book is the stress on discipleship in the first part and the great commission and how it is a part of living out the great commission that we should so relate to other people that we bring them into obedience to Christ. Show them how to walk in that way. An excellent book I think. Now one negative word on this point. I think I've already hinted at it, but I want to say it explicitly. You can't do much in relating to people if your object mainly is just to lay the truth on them. And this is what Jesus is trying to teach you in the seventh chapter of Matthew and trying to teach me in the seventh chapter of Matthew when he talks about not throwing your pearls before swine and don't give that which is holy to the dogs. I want to hasten to say Jesus was not saying anyone was a swine or anyone was a dog. He was saying that in order to help people you have to give them what is suited to their system. You have to find where they are. But remember you said, don't cast your pearls before swine because if you do they will turn and rend you. Now why would they do that? Jesus is talking about something very simple and even a good Jewish boy knew it. If you take pearls down to hungry hogs and fill up their trough they will not be able to eat them. They will fill them. They just get more and more hungry. And one day when you step in to put more pearls in their trough they will see a very dialectable leg. And back where I was raised in the Ozarks there were razor back hogs that would eat you for fun. You know that Jesus is tall. I've been more frightened by a razor back hog than I think anything in my life. So I remember that well that Jesus is talking about those that would do it because they got so hungry because you were giving them the wrong thing. The dog is hungry and you throw him a Bible. He's not going to eat you. be able to do a thing with it, is he? So Jesus is saying, don't just lay good stuff on people without a regard to what they can use. So you have to listen to people. You have to accept them. You have to understand them. You have to love them. Then you may find something that they can use. I guess one other general point and then just a few practical steps. I think that it is most important in developing our fellowship with other people to remember that loving is not liking. You don't have to like people in order to have fellowship with them and submit yourself to them. That may be a shocking thing to say, but you have to remember that. Otherwise, you will just be stuck within your own little circle of likings and you will be terribly limited by it. You can in the grace of God and you should in the grace of God have fellowship with many people whom you don't particularly like. Love is not liking. Love is an attitude of will which seeks the best of people with whom you are engaged. Love is not liking. That you like a church is no particular reason for going or not going to it. I am saying so many heretical things tonight. I am afraid I am going to get stoned before I get out of here, but I know you are good people. So I will take my chances. We often go at trying to attract members into a church by making something which they will like. Oh dear friends. Just exactly what Paul was talking about when he said, "The time will come when people will not endure a sound doctrine, but will heep to themself teachers having itching ears." I want someone who scratched that doctrinal ear and they will say, "Ah, that is so good. I believe we will come back next Sunday and get some more of that." Now, excuse me, but I want to say it again. Loving or not liking is not any particular reason for going or not going to a given church. Love is. Love is. We love people. You intend to get together with them. You assemble yourself together with them for the purpose of loving them, seeking their good, pervoking them to love and good works. Well, that's a wonderful reason. And by the way, if you find a church that does that to you, you may not like it much, but if they do that for you, you better stay there or you may not find another one for a lot. And I also think it's no particular recommendation if you go into a church and they beat you up and you say, "Well, they really got me." Well, love isn't necessarily right either. I mean, like again, I say liking or not liking is no particular reason for going to a church. You have to have an attitude of love and purposeful judgment about what is going on in that fellowship and your willingness to contribute to it as an active love. Now some practical things. Just three things very quickly. Very important to understand that you're not going to have deep fellowship with very many people. Don't try to have fellowship with everyone. Any more than you try to pray for everyone, I urge you, please, don't try to do that. Recognize that God will give you a few people by large and will give you to a few people. I don't know how many. I think in part it does depend on you. I mean, how much you there is to you. Your resources, your home, your money, your brains, your time, your energy, your way your glands work in terms of when you're up and when you're down. All these things are very important. You cannot ignore those things. But I believe you should understand that you will have very few people probably who are deeply involved in fellowship with you. And what I would urge you to do, my first point is, if you are interested in this discipline and entering into it in an intelligent manner, the first step is to give thoughtful, profound examination, thoughtful, profound examination to the question, "Who has God given to me and to whom have I been given?" You remember that the unity of the church is a work of God. God adds people to the church and he puts people in connections with one another and so give thoughtful, prayerful consideration who are the ones. And I am sure that if you will do that, you may wish to combine this reflection with some fasting, some prayer, some study, a period of time after which you might then think in terms of forming a list. You don't need to close it forever. Church can be added and people can come in and go out and that is one of the things that happens that you should have in mind five, six, ten people that are really organically related you in a spirit. And you should cultivate their fellowship. And the second point is cultivate the fellowship of those people. And really what I mean by that is arrange your affairs so that you can be with them in very high quality time. And when you get together with them, don't spend your time gossiping, do a little gossiping that's all right. But don't spend all your time doing that. I mean when you get together with them, make sure that you read the Bible with them, that you pray with them, that you share your spiritual concerns, that you give your burdens, you let them know what your burdens are. You have to do this purposely, okay? It won't happen. You gossip until it's time to go home. So you have to have it set that this is what you do with those people. They are special people. You can't worry about them because God has given them to you and you to them. And so you can say now, let's read the Bible, let's pray. Let me tell you what God is doing in me. If you do that, I'll tell you we'll begin to see things happen in your life because you will have begun to function as a really vital part of the church. And then finally, I'm really very big on going to church. And I'll just tell you, I think that all of us should, generally, have a regular place, at least one, where we go. And we just go because it's time to go. It's Sunday morning at 10 o'clock or whatever time it is. You don't need to think at length about whether or not you'll go normally. There will be days when you need to think about it. And there are times when you should not go to church, you should stay home and rest. Forgive me, everyone. And there are times when there are more important things to do. There are times when you should close it yourself with your Bible and be on your knees before God instead of going to church. There are times like that. And if there are not times like that, then there's something wrong in your spiritual life. But generally, generally, I hope that everyone would be in a position where they do not need to deliberate about whether or not they're going to church. They just go. Just go. Now I really want to urge you, please don't read that as a piece of legalism. I'm not saying that God is only in the church. I'm not saying you can't meet him under the trees or in your backyard or wherever you may be. You certainly can, but if you do meeting there, on sometimes he's apt to say to you, "Why aren't you in church?" No. Really. Find your fellowship. And I don't care if it meets on Thursday, Wednesday, Sunday, or whatever. Be regular, be faithful, not to prove anything about you, not to please anyone who's running a show, but because you love those people and you want to be with them and you know what it's like to meaningfully unite with them in prayer. And I think if you do those three things, you're going to see the people that are given to you drawn together in a regular kind of fellowship and you will see your regular fellowship drawn into the category of a very special kind of people. And you will have that blessed experience of union, of mutual ministry and mutual submission and mutual love, which is fellowship and submission at its glorious and most powerful best. And when you see that, you will see the kind of community which is going to crush the kingdoms of this world and make them into the kingdoms of our God and of His Christ. Because I'll tell you, when you see that kind of community, you see all of the problems of civil society's solved periods. Not that they're not difficulties, but that they will all be taken care of. And the stone that is cut out without hands that Daniel saw in that vision is just such a society as that. And what the Marxists talk about is the withering away of the state will happen because the kingdom of God rules in the affairs of man. When that comes to fruition, and if you want a taste to that, that's what I'm talking about when I talk about fellowship and submission. Let's pray. Oh God, grip us with division and give everyone of us the zeal to have that in our lives in Jesus' name we pray it on here. Thanks for listening. You can learn more from Dallas about this topic and much more by visiting dwillard.org. You'll find a wide variety of resources and learning opportunities there, including personal growth resources, small group studies, online courses, retreats, and conferences. You'll also find an opportunity to participate in an 18-month discipleship community with our School of Kingdom Living. New cohorts begin every October. Find us on your favorite social media channels for thought-provoking quotes throughout the week and visit our Facebook group. Dallas Willard is my homeboy to discuss the things you're learning on your journey with Jesus. This podcast is brought to you by Dallas Willard Ministries and the family of Dallas Willard. Our producer is Tim Williams, music provided by Chad Reiser. Until next time, remember who you are. You are an unceasing spiritual being with an eternal destiny in God's great universe.