FedSmoker Jr Strikes Again! | Your Mom's House Ep. 836

What's up everybody? I'll be in Milwaukee this weekend for three shows at the Riverside Theater on November 14th and 15th, filming my new stand-up special. I'll also be in Las Vegas on Friday, November 21st at Dolby Live. Get your tickets now at tomsagura.com/tour. Now that the weather's finally cooling down, I want to take a second to talk about my go to supplier when it comes to lighting up a cigar. Whether you're a seasoned smoker or you just want something to hold while you're hanging around a fire pit this fall, cigars international has you covered. I can't think of a better excuse to go outside, carve out some alone time when you find yourself desperately in need of a break from any turkey day induced stress. As the industry leader cigars international enhances these moments with unbeatable deals so you can stock up or try something new without breaking the bank. They've even got free every day shipping no codes no minimums you just buy the cigars and they show up that's it. With cigars international's unbeatable deals and discounts, there's no better time to stock up and take advantage of what is arguably the best time of year to be a cigar guy. Use code YMH at checkout for 20% off your orders of $50 or more or visit cigars international.com/YMH and the discount applies automatically some exclusions apply. Welcome to another episode of your mama's place and we are here and we're queer and we're not going anywhere until we get our rights. So get married to your dog and listen to this show. It's going to be a good one. It's almost it's almost jeans giving. I know. I know right up. My jeans are so tight for it. This is the day. I can't believe it. That fucking the Indians were walking around just fucking blowing wind out of their mouths at the air hoping that it would rain and luckily the Europeans came and said let us show you how it's done. And it was a really nice day and they came and they're like we have bread and we have chickens and guns. Do you want us to try them and then everyone became friends and that's kind of a neat thing about Thanksgiving. It is. That's exactly how it happened. Can you imagine I always think about this how cold it was outside? So cold. So cold. And how hot it used to be to air conditioning like 60 years. You imagine what it was like to live like here in Texas. Oh my God. 1850s or something like how horrific that would be. But even though settlers like they were all buck you England. I'm going to go do my shit in America and then take a boat across the ocean. So miserable and then they showed up here and now whoa it's cold. It's snowing here and shit. And they're like these Indians got to teach us how to you know, but we forget how common death was. I know death just happened all the time. It wasn't weird like you wouldn't be like oh my God somebody. Everyone's like yeah someone like 10 people died just dust. Well I was thinking how many times like you and I would have been dead already like when you broke your arm and snapped your patella tendon. You probably would have just died. Well you people are like what are we going to do with them can't do anything anymore. Just let them die here. They wouldn't even have picked you up. No. Yeah. I was going to have. Then they would be like just leave them. I don't know they'd throw some food down eat that and then die. Well they definitely would have amputated your arm like you would and if you lived through that. Oh my God. They didn't probably have wheelchairs. And how crude with the amputation be like we just saw and then give me some tequila. Yeah. You bite the stick. He's so cool. And then I broke my ankle. I would have had I would be amputee. Just cut it off. And then I would have been dead already. I've been so I've gotten sick so many times you know where like you had to have antibiotics and everything. They just would have been like yeah he's just he's dying or like ear infection. You're like I'm just deaf. I'm just deaf like deaf and dead. Yeah. Yeah. How do people live? How did you even survive? You had to be one tough motherfucker or even like tooth decay. You get a cavity dude. Then you get brain rot. You just go right into your brain or they just ripped out your tooth. No anesthesia. Yeah. We don't have brown yellow and missing teeth. You go and it'd be like four teeth left. You know how I'm a gay lord for like the 17 1800s and like the court and all that. The gayest person ever. I know. Yes. So I'm really into like Marie Antoinette and that court. That's so gay. Do you know back in the day like when all those ladies had those massive gowns? You know it's not like you fucking pull your pants down and you take a shit in the day. So they had chairs like wooden chairs that you would like hoist your dress up in and then hopefully you sit down and take a pitch. And of course it wasn't flushable. There's no plumbing. No, I know. That's another thing plumbing. Thank God. I know people would smell. I think about that sometimes. All the time. Just you sitting in your your layers of lure. You know that's like five layers. Just cook it in there. I know. And then bathing with it was a task. So they just be like well do it do it in a few days. Are you bays with like your bathing costume? Imagine the smells that would slip as you took them off. Like it would finally the smells would come out and then someone was like you want to fuck. Well, I was watching this comedy called the Decameron. I'm probably not saying it right on Netflix. It's so good. And there's this one scene where these two lesbos are eating each other out. Nice. And I was like dude like how bad does that one chicks beaver smell. You know they don't shower in the whole thing. Yeah, this is so funny. It's so good to fluid bond with Jesse. I'm probably not saying right the Decameron. It's really smart and really funny. I have no idea. Can you look that up Josh? I'm sure not Decamer. It's a historical whatever play D D it's Italian I believe. And the music's cool whoever did it. Okay, there you go. How to pronounce the name of this book originates a book and it's also a TV series Netflix. So let's break it down how to pronounce it. Yeah, dude go for it. The Cameron. The Cameron. The Cameron. If you want to learn how to pronounce character names, absolutely state. Okay, well anyway the Cameron it's brilliant. It's so funny and dark and the music's insane and the acting is insanely funny. Great. And they eat each other out and like the smelliest time. They're like it's during the plague. It takes place. Oh my god, your pussy smells. No, I wish it takes place during the plague. So everyone's dying. It's a plague. Do you realize how common death would have been to you then? If you're like everyone I know is dead. Yeah, everyone I know is dead. Yeah, that's the joke. Like that's the long running joke is how frequent people died and characters you love just die. But how would that affect? I'm saying your life. You would just you would not attach yourself to anyone. Right. You would have like a distance. You know what? It's like being old. Yeah, because the elderly don't like new relationships. I've heard right like you don't want to get married at 80 because you're like, why are we going to do this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I agree. You're probably way more flip it with your behavior, but they did believe in an afterlife. So there is a threat of heaven or hell. So you probably weren't a total piece of shit, but you were like, fuck it, dude. I got me a fuck. I'm gonna die. Fuck it, dude. I'm fucking dying. Oh, fuck it, whatever, homie or shit. Whatever. I wonder if they after as much as they do and like the tutors in my TV shows about Henry the eight. I think once everyone's dying around you, I don't actually think you go, let's just fuck who cares. You're probably just like, I just don't want to do anything because everyone's dying. Yeah, like you, you're like, I have 25 years to live. I think your horniness probably dips down. You're bummed out. Yeah, I'm about death. You're like, god damn, I just had lunch and someone died at the fucking table. Yeah, that is so true. Yeah, because you're just like, oh, did you hear Nicholas is dead? And you're like, oh, yeah, what's for lunch? Yeah, it's that comment. It's a lot. A lot of death. And your kids died. You had to have like 10 of them so that two would survive. Jesus Christ. All right. You ready to start this thing? Yeah, got something good for you. Here we go. Where's your serial number? Yes, like people saw this. Your serial number. My name is Chris. So could you please explain specifically what you're eating? So what is your serial number? That's how we do things with LAPD. Oh, okay. So you want like the employee ID number? Your serial number. That's not that's not the same thing. Well, that's how LAPD does things. We're not in LAPD. No, we're not. What is your serial number? You want my ID number? It's 9-7-4-7. Okay, so that's your serial number? Oh, we're back. We're back. We're back. So good. Welcome to your mom's house. Welcome, mom's house. And Christina Pujitsin. Yes. Well done, see you tomorrow's house. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Come on, feel it. Meow, meow. Wow. How are these things different? Mysterial number. Take it easy, fuck it. Oh, man. I mean, doesn't this make you believe in reincarnation? Yes, this is the same guy. It's the same guy. This is the same guy. And he's learned nothing. Yeah, no, yeah, there's reincarnation to do wreak havoc again. There's always a menace and it's him. It's him. God is like, we need this. And I gotta say this. This cop is like really handling this well. Oh, yeah. That says as good as an exchange can go. If you're questioning a cop. Hey, what's your fucking serial number? And guys like, what? And it's King County, right? So he's what is that in Washington? So he's like, and then this guy's like LAPD. He's like, yeah, we're not in LA, buddy. We don't do that. He's like, anyway, what's your fucking serial number? I know, and he's so sweet. That's what we call people soft here. That's your employee ID. No, the serial number. No. That's how we can see an LA. Is this a joke? Am I being pumped? I guess you got nothing better to do, but sit around here. Finish my lunch, I did. You said you were running the unit? Yeah. Burning gas, cost maybe $50 to fill up the tank. $50, $100 to fill up the tank. Oh, no, no. Gas prices isn't that bad. So why don't you turn off the unit since you have the windows down? Oh, otherwise the radio won't work. Well, you got your handheld radio. I'm supposed to keep that available. So when I get out of the car, I can actually better use it. He didn't fall pro, though, buddy. You're done. But how is it that he even has the same strain in the voice? I know, it's exactly the same. Probably a similar lifestyle, you know? Maybe the lifestyle makes your voice, you know? You nailed it. Yeah. Gene. Yeah. Bro, Gene, you nailed it. But what is this lifestyle? Oh, I can go through it. Well, you don't really sleep in a regular pattern. You don't go like, well, my circadian rhythm is important. It's time to go to bed now. Right. You sleep at odd hours. Usually probably minutes at a time. You eat street food and shit from 7/11. Probably a lot of sugary drinks. You're sleeping in a car. Yeah. Or a bus or something. Yeah, you don't really lay flat on something comfortable. No, you're never laying flat. The holidays are right around the corner, which means it's getting colder. And you're probably getting busier. Whether you're inside prepping to host everyone and their mom, or you're out shopping for them, getting good sleep is the key to staying healthy this holiday season. 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Yeah, you're ingesting things that are terrible most of the time. It's like a lot of AMPM hot dogs. And then there's like some natural gifts you were born with upstairs. And then you probably can exacerbate the situation by what other things you drink and smoke. Right, or snort. And I think too, maybe the yelling. Yeah, makes your voice horse. A lot of yelling. Yeah. Especially police officers. To the cops. And again, he also, how do they both find cops all the time that we're willing to engage? So sweet. Yeah, most cops. So nice. I feel like if you were like, what should they be like, who the fuck are you? Where they should. What are you doing asking me questions, asshole? You know, this one's so nice. I guess you got nothing better to do, but sit up in the shade. And apparently this is more important. You're sitting around doing nothing. Oh my God. I'm trying to get paid $200,000 a year, like LAPD. That's really not. What agency do you work for? You can count. Are you a certified peace officer in the state of Washington? Yeah, I am. I'm a fucking American. You'll fuck. What was it? Drew said that cocaine you run away from the cops? Yes. You run towards them. Yeah, cocaine. You see a uniform. You jump out a window. And on meth, he's like, you can see like 15 cops. You're like, I'll fuck all you guys up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's so good. Yeah. What a treasure. Yeah, this is Fed Jr. Oh yeah. Fed Jr. Sure. How you doing? He's filming these poor little sweet college boys. You can see they don't play at dress up. He sounds just like him. Just like him. Top of the suit. Maybe popping. What does that airline, Southwest Airlines? Has employees wearing shorts and that? Look at the floor. Why did you know that? Yeah. Why do you know that? Yeah. Because you job, imagine. Yo, how did you know that was a Southwest employee outfit? Like, I've seen them a million times. I couldn't tell you what their outfits are. Some of these guys that get this like meth savants shit going on for they can somehow recall things they've seen passing. Oh, it's astounding. It's astounding. I can't remember that. Yeah. And that kid even said it. He's like, how do you fucking know that? How do you know that? Yeah. Wow. This is just a fucking college sophomore. Sweet. Yeah. They're just doing their, they're mining their business. They're going to something. That's what the, the, the, the, the, the herc legacy. I would say is most known for is disrupt people who are just mining their own business and living their life peacefully. My favorite too. Yes, that's true, Tom. And that's what makes him so special. Mm-hmm. But I also liked when he would go into like city council meetings. Oh, yeah. Because you have to understand too that you've got to wait a long time. You've got to get through metal detectors. Oh, it's the worst. It's the whole thing. You've got to listen to a lot of people saying boring stuff. Yeah. And then he waits for his three minutes or whatever. Yeah. And then you accost people. Yeah. Yeah, we're like a fool. If you're going to, if you're going to wear the top, you should wear the bottom. That's true. And that's true. He's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe next time I see, I'll have all your information. Yeah. Never know. I'd be a little weird though. It's a little creepy. Yeah. You eat some kind of joke or something. Yeah. Yeah. It is true though. To wear a blazer and then khaki shorts. Oh, it's good for you shit. Yeah. It's a horrible look. Yeah. But you know, it's still just their kids. Yeah. Their kids just doing their, they're going to something together, right? They're probably going to some social event. Yeah. Is that a fraternity look? No. Josh, is that like a thing? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So they're just, so he, he targets fraternity boys and police. Specifically sigma chi fraternity. Yeah. Sigma chi is what he's all about. What, what are the sigma chi about? like it do they represent something that I don't think so. I think he just is kind of obsessed with them. I mean, do you know Cougar, if they're more backstory to why that's rad? - I don't know, I mean, he also has some problems with Scientology. - Oh, yeah, I know Scientology is about saying. - He's got this convoluted conspiracy, I think. - No. - No. - Really? - This guy. (laughs) - He's got another one here, look. - Aww. - How cute he's playing. - He's spotting us? - Yeah. (dramatic music) - Are you recording us? - 'Cause I want to. - You good, bro? - Yeah, have a good day. - Let me record you as well. - How about it? - Are you recording us? - 'Cause I want to. - No, but you can't do it without a permission, dude. - Okay, what law is that? - What? - What law is that? - What? - Okay, what law says that? Can you name it a statue? - I know, is it general courtesy, dude? - Okay, courtesy is not law. Good day. - Touching my camera through the fifth tube, the fact it. - Yeah, pretty cool. It's statute, by the way, so that's statute. - I thought I heard statute as well. - Yeah. - But, yeah, cool. - Wow, I can't stop. - I'm so excited to see the evolution of this talent. - Well, it'll end soon. - So, yeah, it's a great thing to get on now so we can see how it goes before it ends, but, yeah. - They burn out so fast. - They do, man, they do. It's just a lifestyle of chasing white chariots and calling out, you know, baby, so, yeah. It takes a lot out of you. They definitely-- - It does, you have to enjoy them while they're here. - While they're here. - Listen, as long as we're here, let me plug my lipstick. I'm wearing Evermore liquid lipstick. This is knocked her is the shade. It's very dark and very spooky for fall flavors. Try it out. Also, check out my velvet crush blush. I have two shades out right now. It is so luxurious. I'm wearing them, woo-hoo, right now. And, yeah, try it out, Christine. - And it's time you've got to go into your holiday shopping now. - Absolutely, and I would say order them now because I do limited batches. I order them in limited runs from Italy. - Italy. - It takes a while to get here. And then here's the different shades. You can choose from, oh, it's such high quality stuff, you guys. And then it's fun, it's a little weird, thanks me. - Thanks me, yeah. - Thanks me. - That's cute. - That's what I'll do. - That's what I'll like. - Do you guys want to get some blush with your back up? - Can I do your face? Can I do you? - No, I'm good. - Why? - I'm good. You know who else has a really interesting voice? - Hello. - He's the lady in this clip. Check this out. - I love it. Thank you. - My guard just throws a one out. - Oh dang, I don't have one. - Get you, dude. - No, I don't. - Why not? - It wasn't one installed. So I gotta get one installed. - These houses have always had guard just throws, they always came with them. - Not in mine. - I never heard of such a thing. - He must have took it out. - What a motherfuckin wacko. - Yeah, I don't have one. - I got some money. - Yeah, I got some of you to check. I don't have one. - You look under the sink? - Yeah, he did, yeah. It's not one there. - Why would you do that? - Yeah, I bought one. I gotta get some money installed. - Would you buy? Would you buy? - I bought one from Lowe's, but I'm awake because I want a new sink. So I get it out done at one time. - You need to order this horsepower if you know what I mean. - Yeah. - It's power. - I just had a order one. - Yeah, it sounds like Joie T.S. - Second time, third time, I've already replaced this. Every 10 years they go out. - Well, at least you got one, I don't. - Yeah, I've always had one. - Mm-hmm. They all came with garbage disposal. - Not me. - Why would you take it out? - I don't know. - Can I tell you something though? This conversation is so stupid and boring. - Yeah. - I want to shoot myself. - I know, but I just could listen to her talk for an hour. - The voice is incredible. - What are you talking about? - That I heard of such a thing. - That's literally what she sounded like. - She all came with garbage disposal. - This is a voice we-- - Why the hell would you take one out? - This is a voice saying-- - You and I heard a lot growing up because of cigarettes. - Yeah, I know, it's another bummer. - I know. - That we don't get these voices anymore. They're only in people that are about to die. - This was like vintage, this bitch existed everywhere when you and I were kids. - Oh yeah. - Yeah. - And, you know, not to make it a thing, but it's also kind of, it also kind of sounds like, you know. - We were fuck partners. - Yeah. - They have same kind of register. - Yeah. (laughing) - That's why I got a garbage disposal. - Oh, she sounds like-- - Crazy. - Christy the cloud. - Yeah. (laughing) - That is nuts. (laughing) I wonder how much she has smoked to do that. - 'Cause who does Christy? Is it Dan Castaneda? Castaneda? I mean, he's so good. - It's that same Christy. - Yeah. - Yeah, Dan. - Yeah, it's, it's that register. She's kind of shredded up her voice over years. - She's just thousands of cigarettes. - Rip 'n' Darts. - Rip 'n' Darts. - Yeah. - No, I haven't smoked in years. - That's what she would probably say. It's really bad for you. It fucked me up. Now I just, you know, I drink my teas. - Yeah. - Yeah. - This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace, the all-in-one platform designed to build your brand, grow your business, and succeed online. Whether you're selling services, booking clients, or just getting your ideas out there, Squarespace gives you everything you need all in one place. It's super easy to offer services. From consultations to online classes, you can book appointments, send professional invoices, and get paid all through your site. No more juggling, multiple apps. There's a plethora of cutting-edge design and SEO tools available to build a custom website that's tailored to your brand or business. With their AI website builder and a complete library of award-winning website templates, you'll have a customized site in no time. So, if you've been waiting for a sign to start building your brand, this is it. Head to squarespace.com/mom for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use code mom to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Now that the weather's finally cooling down, I want to take a second to talk about my go-to supplier when it comes to lighting up a cigar. Whether you're a seasoned smoker or you just want something to hold, while you're hanging around a fire pit this fall, cigars international has you covered. As the industry leader of cigars international, enhances these moments with unbeatable deals so you can stock up or try something new without breaking the bank. They've even got free everyday shipping, no codes, no minimums, you just buy the cigars and they show up, that's it. Use code YMH at checkout for 20% off your orders of $50 or more or visit cigars international.com/YMH. And the discount applies automatically some exclusions apply. - God, I used to smoke so many cigarettes, do you remember when we smoked? You just smoked like you were immortal? - Yeah. - You're just like, "I don't fucking care." - And I'm gonna go back. I'm going back, baby. - When are you gonna pick up cigarettes? - Soon, I don't know. - Really? - I hope so. - Well, I do think, and this is probably inappropriate to say, but you know, I talked to my oncologist and she's like, "There are people that smoke their whole lives. - See? - You never get lung cancer. - I know. - And then the person who never smoked a day on her life-- - Gets lung cancer. - Dies of lung cancer. - Yeah, it's very crazy. - Do what you're gonna fucking do. - It's just too much. - It's my family history. It's probably not a good idea. - You guys are all made of cancer. - Everyone's made of cancer in my family. On both sides, both sides. - I know. - There's like a zero percent chance that I'm not gonna get any cancer. - Stop. - Well, hopefully it's an easy one. - A nice one. (laughing) - A nice cancer. Like, what's the dick one? The dick cancer that you just, you don't even have to treat, yeah. - Yeah, I'm not looking forward to that. - Because sometimes they don't even need to treat that. You just have to come a lot, right? - No, that's not. - Patrick Drew said that when he had it removed. - Remember, no, he's like, I think you're, that's not the message. - That's what, that's how he got cured. - No, no, no, no, no, he had surgery. He had his prostate removed. And then he had to come a ton. He had to come once a day. He talked about this before. - What we're talking about are two different things. It's that if you are active and ejaculating a lot, it's good for your prostate. It's good for your prostate. - Oh, okay, yeah. - To be active, right? - Yeah. - But once you have an issue with your prostate, if you have prostate, they don't go, just keep coming, it'll beat it. They have to surgically remove it, yeah. - But I'm saying for you. - For me in particular. - And why don't you love to get, if you have to choose? - No, I don't. - Fine, 'cause then you can come a ton. - No, I don't think you're understanding the situation. That's not how this works. - Okay. He did say that on the rehab side of it, he had to come a ton. - I wonder if my new diet that I'm on will help or hurt that. - What are you doing now? - So I hired a bodybuilder nutritionist and he gave me a plan. And the goal is to get to, you know, like sub five percent, that body fat. Right? Yeah. Is that supposed to happen? I mean, it's not, they said you can't maintain it for long because you feel like you're going to die. I just want to see what it feels like. What? Yeah. But, of course, you need some fat, Tom. Right. A whole five percent. Yeah. Well, okay. Can you google what's normal for a grown-ass man, especially an elderly man like my husband? Excuse me. You're. Oh, you're elderly. I'm not elderly. I'm not. Aren't you 50 yet? 67. I'm 12 years younger than you. 5,000 years old. Yeah. Babe, the normal body fat percentage for middle age, that's you. Yeah. 40 to 59 is generally considered to be between 11 percent and 21 percent. I'm just going to do three. I'm just going to try to get to three. Babe, you're going to have renal failure. That's fine. We already just went over. I'm going to die. That's true. You may as well be hot. Hit the show more stuff. There you go. Essential fat. Necessary for survival. That's what I'm trying to get to. You want to get to that? I want to get to that. You're almost there. You sick of it. I want to get to like almost not alive. Do Brad Pitt in Fight Club? What's he there? That was real rare. Oh, he was low. He was real low. What's the fun? Is it just to see your muscles and stuff? Yeah. Just to see how good you look. He was between five and six. Huh. Yeah. He was 155. It's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what you're going to look like. And then you're going to die. Better than that, because I'm going to go down to three. How long are you going to sustain this, babe? I mean, it probably till you collapse. Apparently, you really want to die when it's that low. I talked to some people. They said you really want to fucking kill yourself. Why is that? You just feel like absolute shit. You feel like shit, morning, noon, and night. And your tea drop, everything. You're just like, you should feel horrible. And then you're like, take a picture. So it's just for the aesthetic. Yeah, yeah. And also just, I want to see like how far, what I will do as I'm pushing myself and I go, I don't want to do this anymore and how far I can push it. You got to do a documentary, like the biggest loser, you know? Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Obviously, fucking really funny, actually. Hey, here's a new doc about my body dysmorphia. Yeah. What's the lowest you've gotten? And do you know what your walk around percentage is, because you're real lean? Uh, I don't think I've ever checked. I'll pay for you to get a dexascan. Oh, okay. What does that entail? You just lay down on this thing and it, and it has a full, you get like a full, that thing right there. And then it just gives you, see that image there on the, on the right, yeah, on the far right. Am I getting knocked out? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You just, nothing. You just lay still. You just lay still and then it shows you your skeletal structure and everything going inside. And it tells you it, like, it breaks it down like that. It's horrible. No, no one touches you, no one touches you. Yeah, okay. I'll do it. Okay. I'm, I'm interested. I want to know what yours is. What do you think it is? He's like, I mean, I, I don't, I have no like, uh, reference for it. I don't know. He's like a greyhound. Yeah. He's so lean. What? Yeah. Greyhound. Yeah. Like a, you know, like a runner. Yeah. You're like a running animal. Yeah. You are. You are like a little gazelle. You men need fat though, because women need it for like reproduction and like periods. I mean, various things, right? Like you, well, your body uses fat as an energy source and then it also provides you with some insulation, like, you know, dude, you're going to be so cold. I know. I'm already cold. I'm colder than I've ever been. I'm cold all the time now. Yeah. That's just from dropping some weight. That's true. See, I always thought that was like a fat person myth or like, oh, you're just hot all the time. I used to stand up and start sweating, so yeah, it's pretty different now. This is exciting for you. Yeah. I want to be emaciated, you know? I know. Yeah. I know. You know, I grew up in the Kate Moss era and like, nothing tastes as good as skinny fields. That's what she said. And it's like, it's so true. It looks so much better. Yeah, of course. I was thinking of my disdain for that guy. We saw that restaurant. I know. I know. I know. It was like that we saw, we were in Boca and we saw a guy who was like the Monty Python sketch. But it was just about, I can't eat anymore. Yeah. Waffer. It's a waffle thing. A fool. When you bring that up, it's like he eats so much that he explodes and pukes everywhere. And he's just like, just one little waffer. Waffer. Waffer. How are you? I can't. I'm fucking full. It's such a great sketch. There. I know. Those guys are so great. Yeah. But I, I get it. Like the thing. Okay. Can I tell you what makes me sad is because we all want to be that guy. Right. He's indulge. Yeah. But you have to, like, there needs to be a mechanism in your dumb brain that goes stop it dummy because you're going to clear yourself. Yeah. And then some people don't have it. Or they do. And they just. Well, you push past it. Yeah. Yeah. Because I get mad because I go like, oh, you're such a waste of life. Like I, life is so precious and special to be a human, like to be incarnated as a human. You, you win the lottery. Yeah. Cosmic lottery. And like, that's what you're going to do. It's crazy. I get so upset. I know. That's what I was looking at that guy. I was like, you're so disgusting. Yeah. He was so vile. Yeah. He was like, hey, he was, hey, we got to move tables, not in a room over here. Yeah. Yeah. And everybody was like looking around. They're like, what do you mean? He was like, how could we fit, you know? And they're like, oh, you of course, sir. And then they moved them to a table that was more room than they needed. But not if you're considering how fat he and his body was. Well, the whole family was like, yeah. It was excessively large, I will say. Like, so that people understand we're not just talking about someone care. It was literally like the money Python. No, it was like the, it was a lot, it was the Eddie Murphy, like the, yeah. Where are they? The cramps. Yeah. They were just, Jesus Christ. Yeah. They were just fucking huge, man. The clumps, sorry. Clumps, yeah. Clumps, yeah. Yeah. Exactly dude. And you're like, oh. Oh. All right. Okay. Come on. He's in prosciutto plates. I remember. I know. And we were trying to eavesdrop. So that we could hear what they were ordering and like, I gotta hear what this is. Yeah. Yeah. It's gotta be so much. And he sat like this at the table. Yeah. Oh, man. His hands were out here. I was like, God, dude. Get your fucking shit together. Yeah. Get your shit together. Get your love. Where did you go wrong? That's what I kept thinking. I know. So anyway, seeing him made me go three percent. Yeah. Get to three percent. I agree. I think that's a really healthy goal for you. You think so? Yeah. For sure. It's not bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Could you not try? Just do me a favor. Yeah. Just could you not try to actively kill yourself? Yeah. Is it just, is this being married to me? You're like, I gotta try to die before. Huh. I never thought of that. Huh. Yeah. Cause you really have a leaning towards self torture. It's like, I'm going to do the cold plunge and that's terrible. Yeah. And I'm going to, I'm going to pull the plow in the back yard where it was a stupid horse at the sled. Yeah. Now I'm going to get down to two percent body fat. I really think too much. Two shit. I was thinking to three. All right. Two is a new goal. Are you like suicidal? Huh. You know, I'll take that one to therapy this week. Hahaha. Good. Good one to explore. Yeah. You should go for the world record. With the world record. I don't know. I'm just saying you should go for the lowest possible body fat. Oh, let's see. It's got to be like, what about like athletes? Whoa. There you go. Dude, that guy looks perfect. Yeah. Is that what you're going to look? Oh. Two percent. He's two percent. Yeah. I can't get to that. It looks like beef jerky. It's a, it's a beautiful goal that I can't get to it. It's not beautiful. I don't like that. What do most bodybuilders compete at? Like what, what's there when they're competing? What are they at? I don't like that at all. Um. I wonder, it's got to, I mean, it's got to be five or, around there. All right. Three to eight. Okay. And women. It's 10 to 15. So that's. Oh, right. That's so low. Yeah. Let's just do it. Oh, man. Let's just do it. Okay. Look at these percentages. Bodybuilding, three to eight gymnastics, five to 12. Marathon runners, five to 11, triathlon, five to 12, soccer, 10 to 18, 10 is 12 to 16. But for women, 15 to 20, and that, and that means like you're losing your period at that. Yeah. It's going away. Yeah. It's going away, dude. That's gnarly. Nobody wants to hear that. That's so. The drinking. Anyway. So you're going to be seeing some kind of dramatic things coming these next few months. I like the fucking machinist. Mm-hmm. Christian Bale. Well, the interesting thing is, you know, I got the, the plant. It's not starving. You're not starving. You're actually just eating, you're eating more times a day, but you're just eating specific things. So what do you get? What are you eating? Just chicken? It's a secret. Yeah. No, yeah. It's a lot of lean stuff. Yeah. And then, yeah, there's some, there's carb cycling. Yeah. Carb cycling? Yeah. High days, medium days, low days. No, the fuck. It's just Tom. What's going on? What are you doing? What is this? Fucking 3%. [BLANK_AUDIO] of challenges in your life, you're writing the TV show, you're taping a special, you're touring, you've got a family, and now you've got to torture your body on top of this. Like what is going on? Just do drugs. Could you just start taking drugs? Yes. Is this an addict's brain? Is that what this is? I don't know. You can't be still. I don't know. Just be still. Enjoy your money. Stop it. No, you got to do something else. Can I tell you what I've been doing? I want to actually take a minute here to thank Rob Eiler. So look, since I was sick last year, I started crafting pretty hard and I really thank you for not pointing out the excessiveness of my supply buying. You do a lot of bullshit. A lot of bullshit. A lot of bullshit. There's always a number of bullshit things that arrive at the house usually on a daily or you know. It's daily. It's a problem. Yeah. I admit that. But yeah. I mean, we started off. I started off drawing. Drawing you nude, which I sold that, which is amazing. That was awesome. Thank you so much for that. And then acrylic painting. And then I got into clay. And then I got to paper mache. And I was buying like mannequins to put paper mache on and paint. And then I was telling Rob about the paper mache because I got like paper mache pumpkins lying around, the kids are going to paint and I've been, I was saving newspapers to use later for the paper mache sculptures that I'm making, saving boxes, saving papers. And Rob was like, Christina, you got to stop this. You got to stop this. I go, why? Because you're going to ruin your marriage. This is deal breaker type of shit. And I just want to thank you, Rob, because I threw away all the paper mache horse shit. And I knocked it off. I'm going to fuck her. I'm not going to do that stupid stuff anymore because it is, it's a lot of bullshit around the house. You're right. And I'm just going to, now I'm into watercolors. I just bought one little tiny palette and just a, a one pat that's all I'm going to do for now. Nice. Watercolors. So maybe some art will be coming out of you. Those beautiful blue eyes. Okay. But thanks, Rob. You're right. It was bullshit. Maybe I'll get into some artsy stuff too, okay? Would you like that? Say something? Cuts out to you for a second. You'd enjoy it. But there's something about you that likes to torture yourself more. Like this kind of shit, like I got to get down to a 3% body fat. Like there's something in you that, the self-flagulation bit, you like that. That's true. You like to really fucking push it, you don't know why. You don't like to enjoy yourself. This is not, you either push it to the max like that, or you're just like chilling and bed watching murder. Like those are your two, it's like I perform in front of 10,000 people in an arena, or I'm isolated in the house watching murder. Okay. You just described what it is to be a man. Is that right? Yeah. We kind of, yeah. Like if we succeed, like there's no succeed, there's no success like you just got to do the next thing. Oh. You got to hurt yourself. You got to feel like you're accomplishing something, beating something, you know? Yes. That does make sense. Yeah. I do like that because it's the plate of the man. It is. What is it? Is it testosterone? Yeah. I don't know if it's testosterone necessarily. I mean, I'm sure that plays a role in it, but I don't know. I don't know why that's the thing that men, a lot of men just go, well, don't, I guess it's just don't be complacent. Right? Yeah. You guys have itchy assholes. Yeah. You got to scratch them. You got to scratch your asshole. You got to get out of the house. I got to go, I got to build. I got to do. But I also feel like I'm a better person than other people. No. I'm a better version of myself when I'm doing things 100 percent because a man who doesn't have a purpose, yeah, becomes very fucked up. That's real. That's very real. Oh, sure. We know men like this. We know them. Yeah. Yeah. They don't figure something out like a passion or a drive. It's not good. It's not good. It's not good. You know, can I talk to you for a second? This is what. Jesus. Could you make more sounds over there? Stupid. I'm a fucking idiot. But the thing is, as I've noticed about like what, you know, we've been married for 20,000 years and like. Oh my God. It's so long. Is that I gotta let you have your itchy asshole? Mm-hmm. Don't even fight the itchiness. Let you itch it. Scratch it. Get in there. Dig it in. And then you'll come back when you're ready. When your asshole's thoroughly cleaned out and irrigated and you're exhausted, then you come home. Yeah. And then I'm like, "Hey babe, how's your pot?" That's your summary. That's pretty good summary, right? Yeah. Whereas me, like, I used to have an itchy asshole and now that I'm chilled out, I love being home. I love gardening. I love my bullshit crafts. You find joy in it. The cats. Yeah. You're able to just be there. To be. Yeah. But I think women, yeah, when you're balanced, you can exist. You're being. Yeah. And then the man is doing. I think men struggle with that more. Being. And I know and I always think it's weird that their spiritual leaders, like they should definitely not be. They should not be. Men have to come and do things too hard. Yeah. They're not qualified. They're not. They're not. Okay. I have to piss. And then I want to discuss who this is. Okay. Okay. Go take your pee. All right. How was your pee? It was good. I didn't smell like coffee anymore. Yeah. So I drink enough water. Nice. I just love mother fucking wacko. I love her so much. She's great. She's really great. Cool. You know every, every as he has a garbage disposal, what are you talking about? Why would he take it out? You got to get three quarters horsepower to run it. Yeah. That's so cool. Thank you for that. That is a very east coast vibe, though. This is not a west coast. No. Like that voice never happened. No. No, that's definitely in the northeast. Yeah. That's a sad shut in. I feel like. I don't know this person, but I'm saying like Josh Potter, like I imagined somebody he's related to. Is this person? That's hilarious. Yeah. So he's like, oh, it's my aunt had not. A thousand. Yeah. Yeah. Like a Rochester. I don't want to get Josh started with smoking. Exactly. I gave him his first cigarette when he was nine. Exactly. This is your aunt's house that you go to and she's got the cookies, the fucking royal dance cookies from right aid or whatever, everything's from the fucking pharmacy. Yeah. Yeah. She's rad, man. She's a good one. Yeah. American. Oh, sorry. Yeah. This one, this is really cool. As you know, I collect all the Barbies that have come out. This one is type two diabetes, Barbie. Nice. Which is really special. It comes with her little monitor. Sure. It's a sold out. It means gotta be gang. All the kids are like, well, I want diabetes, Barbie. Can I tell you how they could actually sell these? You guys are doing good. Yeah. Our sons would take this and fuck it up. Of course. They break the arms off of it. A thousand. That's the only way you're going to sell this is if you sold us to little boys so they could fuck them up. Yeah. And then Julian would be like, I'm trying to feed him donuts so that that sugar spikes. Exactly. Okay. Exactly. I like the wheelchair Barbies, like our guys would race those down the driveway. Of course. I guess, you know, I mean, it's fair to say representation does matter. So this is just so that, you know, the little girl out there who has diabetes feels like, oh, this is a doll. It looks just like me, right? Well, as long as she's hot. Yeah. This doll is hot and sick like me. They're always hot, like even the Down syndrome Barbies are like hot. Yeah. Of course. It's the weirdest. I mean, I guess, I guess Barbie is still a dream, you know? She's got her mobile phone and it's it's set to the screen where you're monitoring your insulin, which is always fun for a child. We're like, oh, yeah, my insulin. And then you can see the insulin, the built-in pouch, it's kind of cool. But she's got a sexy, she's got sexy shoes and a sexy purse and her sexy little skirt. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Is that the case? Like, when you have an illness, do you want to play with the doll that helps you go with it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think you want to see things people that look like you. Yeah. I think that makes sense. That's true. Yeah. Does she wear, does she have heels really? Yeah. Yeah. Look. Look in there. Yeah. That's so funny. I've got diabetes, but I'm still hot. Very cool. It's a mini skirt. Yeah. I know. This is brilliant. Oh, she's even, yeah, she's got the patch on her on her arm that's constantly monitoring. How come they don't have like sex worker Barbie? You know, like a straight-up ho. Yeah. I mean, you don't think they want to see themselves record. Of course. The children of a sex worker go, how come there's not one that looks like you, Mom? Thank you. Yeah. Do better, Barbie. Do better. Yeah, I agree. You want to see something that's fantastic? You like music, right? Yeah. I love music. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. So as JLo, if you're listening, she's been in the news lately saying that like what she's all about is, you know, Broadway and that she was trained in musicals and like, I guess this is like a new direction she's going to go in so that she was singing here with her, her coach, Stevie. And it said, the review here says she has received a good amount of hate for this. What? Yeah. But she's so likable. That's so weird. Yeah. So humble. Yeah. So I guess like, that's what she's pushing towards next is to be on Broadway. Which is not a bad business move when you're not moving tickets for the, the concert. Yeah. Because I think these people that watch, um, musicals, I'm not one of, I, I just, not my jam. Yeah. But I think when you have a celebrity headlining them, it's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a draw. It's a big deal. I, I might go see it just to see her going, oh, oh, oh. She walked away from that. They're like, you just heard that. That's what that's why it's so good. Yeah. That's why it's so powerful because she believes she's amazing. I did that. Yeah. I did that. Yeah. She, she does have the confidence of like our seven year old. I mean, I think maybe that's why you're a superstar. Yes. You have to have a real crazy level of confidence. Yes. Yes. And, and, and look in her defense, that level of, but I'll say this. Has gone. So far, normally when you see really impressive voices, they go, you know, they finish the, the note they're singing and they're just kind of like, there you go. Yeah. And everyone goes, holy shit. And they go, oh, come on. Me? Shucks. Yeah. But this was different. This was different. That's so true. Like, Placido Domingo, you would watch him. And he would just kind of look down at the flick. I felt that. I felt it. Now it's out of me. Yeah, there's, there's, there's, there's not a lot of humility in this one. But this is why I think it would be interesting to see her do Broadway because I feel like Broadway too, that you're going to get reviews tons every night, every night. You're going to get that feedback straight away from the audience. Oh, yeah. You're going to get canceled in a week. You know what I mean? Yeah. You got to fucking put ass in seats. I wonder how long she can do that for in Broadway. I don't know. I don't know. I'm here for it. I, what is she going to do? Do we know what play or what music? I don't think it's set up. I'm saying she's put it out there like what I'm, what I'm great at is to see it at yes, yes. That's right. I remember reading. Oh, is this what it is? This is the new movie that's out. But it's a musical. Oh, it is a musical. Yeah. Okay. And is it out now? Yeah. I mean, look at the reviews. Oh, it came out. I mean, 77%. That's not bad. Never even heard of it. No, that's fantastic. Yeah. I love Kiss of the Spider Woman. Yeah. Okay. And so, so what are, so what are people saying? I'm never even, I didn't even know this was out. This happens all the time now though. Movies come out and it's not the same. It's not like you used to. Yeah. You would always know what's out. It's different. Because this is a major undertaking. Kiss of the Spider woman. Yeah. Let's see. Let's see what it is. Okay. This is a musical drama film written directed by Bill Condon based on the 1992 stage musical. Sarah's Diego Luna, Tona Tew and Jennifer Lopez, it will, let's see, positive reviews from critics. Yeah. It looks like it's well-reviewed, but it is a major box office bomb grossing just 2 million against a budget of 30. Yeah. So it's not, people aren't going to see it, but they're not, they're saying it's good. That's so interesting. I feel like JLo really had a, yeah, it's really crazy. What's going on? I don't know. Is it social media now that we're seeing people's personalities made people find her generally very unlikeable? I know. And I've heard story after story. Oh, there's a lot of stories. I have a personal story. I know one firsthand. Can you share it? Yeah. I guess I can. So a couple of years ago, I was on tour and I was doing the bus thing. So I was chartering buses. And I don't really like it. I don't like the bus lifestyle just personally, but it was just, it was a bus tour. So every week, buses would either pick you up at your house or you'd fly to the bus and the bus would take you for the run of the tour. And I hadn't signed a lease for like one time I did a bus for a year. This was like before I'd done that. So I would charter different ones. And so one time, I had some leg coming up and they offered me this really nice bus. Like they showed me, so I guess it's like a state of the art bus. So I did it for like a week or two. It was like just a short period of time. And I got there and I was like, this bus is unfuckin real. I mean, the bus looked like a luxury hotel. It was crazy. And when I got on, you know, I'm looking ahead and talk to the driver and really nice guy and he was telling me all about, you know, all the features that it has. It's like totally state of the art. It was incredible. And I go, God, like this bus feels like it's, you know, for a fucking superstar. And he was like, well, like just was with JLo. And I go, no shit. And he goes, yeah, she had it for like six months or something, you know, for her tour. And I go, what was that like? And he was like, well, he's like, you know, everybody in the camp is really nice. And he was nice and her boyfriend at the time was really nice. Everyone was really nice. And I was like, but he's like, well, he's like, we, you know, we never spoke. And I was like, for six months, he's like, no, we never exchange the driver. The driver. Yeah. And I drove her like all over the country. And then six goes the day that I dropped her off. So it was like, this is the last day I dropped her off of her house. And she just didn't make eye contact, just walked off and walked away. And I never said, like, goodbye, thanks. Just nothing. But that to me is indicative of like a personality type. If you're the type that has somebody drive you for six months, you don't even say. But to really understand the gravity of this too, so this bus life you're speaking of, it's very intimate. It's very intimate. It's you, the driver, sometimes that's it. Sometimes it's, you know, the driver or something, but the driver of a charter bus like that, it's different, right? They are, they're not just, it's not like a bus in a city that's taking you from like, stop to stop. That driver is the, he is the captain and the cleaner and the maintenance guy. He is, he's like your pilot of the, you know, I mean, he does everything. So you have, you have a lot more interactions with them. It's not like, you know, when you, at a bus stop and you get on, you just walk on, you walk on in the morning and, you know, you greet them and they realize that like, oh, they, they had like cleaned up this section of the bus and everything is taken care of. And then, you know, he washed the windows and he made sure that like there's pillows on your bed. Like he does all of that. So you have like a really intimate, yeah, like, relationship with the car. But even from like a human thing. No, yeah, of course. Of course. Hey, Rick. Good morning. Yeah, I got to take a shit, but I don't want a shit in a moving bus. Can we pull over so I can stop and take a dump? She would relate that to somebody else, right? Stop. Well, yeah, she never talked to him for six months. Just from like a safety or like a human. It's bizarre. But again, you know. That's tough to do. There's something about like pop stars where they, you know, the whole thing is they beat their divas. I guess. Yeah. I mean, in my world, in my mind, it would be harder not to speak directly with him. You have to make an effort to not speak to that person. Correct. Yeah. Can you tell? Oh, yeah. Also, don't forget. There's also the moment that is where you kind of have the most interactions, especially with a familiar face, which is getting on and getting on every time. We would pull up to venues and you just walk up and be like, all right, Rick, thanks. I'll see you in a few hours. Yeah. She never did that. You get back or like the show's over, doors open. What's up, man? Where were we headed tonight? And he's like, four hour drive. All right. I'll see you when we're there. Like, those things. None. Zero. Wow. Yeah. And I also heard a story. I don't know where it was on the internet somewhere where it was before she was really, really, really famous. Yeah. And she wanted to see a movie at a movie theater. And she had them lock down the entire theater. So that she could come in the back way and watch a movie. And this isn't well before she had that type of celebrity to do something like that. I don't think people would care if she went anywhere now. I think zero percent would flip out. And not only that, like I would say that, you know, you're very recognizable these days. And like, we'll move around. It's really not that crazy. People just come up to you and they say, hi, or they stare at you and say nothing. That's the other right, which is just what it is. But if you were to go to a movie and just kind of sneak in with it, it's fine. You're not gonna. Yeah. This is not. She's not that amazing. Well, that's, you're not that type, you know, Michael Jackson would have to have done that. Yeah. That's different. Yeah. I actually think that most Swift, yeah, she can't do that. She can't. But most celebrities, I'm talking about high level celebrities, they can go into movies. It's fine. People would just be like, holy shit. That's who it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, nine times out of 10, it's normal. It's normal. So she didn't need to have it. Which means that like she, that's the funnier part actually is that she had to go like, we need to shut down this venue. you. And then somebody like in her management had to be like, uh, wait, why? Uh, hello, I'm going to get absolutely mobbed. Hello. Then the business manager would be like, that's such a crazy amount of money to spend on that. She was like, do you want me to get fucking attacked? They're like, okay. All right. That's fine. Right. Again. And also, you can also just watch the movie at home. You could probably get a screener. Hello. Then somebody we have to bring it over to the house. I don't think so. Why are you ruining that theater's day? It's just dealing with your nonsense. Let's pivot to something. Yeah. Yeah. No one of the car is going to have rich. She has a feeling and a light for it. And we have green color green power. Okay. And why color is this infection? Hold on. Women make love. And they think that the the husband need more energy. So, you hear your palm pointed to the guitarist and chain the clip and the vagina into red color. So when you make love, you can feel that you have more red energy. Yeah. And you can keep your little one more light for. But what's the green? That's infection. No, white disinfection. Oh, green is healing healing powers. There's no way. I never had it green. Well, you need to. I don't know what's going on. We got a lot of problems. I've only, you know, I don't know if I had a white. Yeah, this is great. I'm not so sure. We got to get you to more of green our balance and have compassion. Whites are purifying and calming. Yeah. But red, red's fire energy. You gotta get that clip red. It's a new shirt. Stop it. Can we do a red clip shirt? No. I'm a puke. No woman wants to hear this. Why? It's so gross. What's gross about it? You red could. What's gross? He's giving you an energy advice. You don't think that's good? I do. I do think that obviously sex is an exchange of energy. Yeah. I don't like the color-coordinated. I don't like it when he talks about it. Do you like this? Do you like this? Do you like this? She does want to come over for a snack and go. That was cool. I kind of like that. Yeah, you liked it. Yeah, because he fl- he flubbed it. He flubbed it. He flubbed it. It wasn't cool. It wasn't slick. But isn't it kind of cool to be a little guy with a huge hog like that? Yes. That's kind of cool. It's kind of the best case scenario. If you're a little man, you have a big old dog like that. What do you think? What? I mean, this is probably stupid, of course, but do you think they all have big ones in relation to being small and stature? No. I mean- I think it's just like any other segment of the population when it comes to penises. No, I think it's relative. I think this guy has a genuinely large dog and sometimes they do something. I don't want to come over for a snack and go. He's an attractive LP though. He is. He's got a really nice face. Yeah, and he's got a big old dog. How do you know it's so big? How do you know? I mean, I was just looking in the- What do you mean- What do we- How do you see it? I didn't see it the first time. Okay, hold on. Oh, it's there? No, you're seeing the shadow though, right? Oh, whoopsie. Yeah, I missed that. But don't you think you could cheat that with shadow work? Like things look bigger? I mean, you could cheat it to an extent, but you can't make it something it's not, you know? I didn't see the shadow. Yeah. I'm not looking for dicks all the time like you are. Well, it's just it's right there. I mean, I didn't have to search hard. I was looking at his face and his delivery. You don't want to have a little snack? Yeah, so much. All right, I'll get you something you like. I don't like these guys. What do you not like, man? Don't you love pickles? Yeah, I love it. I have an extreme fear of trying new foods. And today, I'm going to try my absolute number one fear food. These people. He's hyperventilating. Well, they're slimy. They're crunchy. I get it. They're seedy. Yeah, they smell weird. Oh my god. He's a fucking guy. Yeah. I could see myself so dead. It's like slimy. Yeah, it's green. Yeah, it's weird. He's never. He's not going to go out. You think he's going to do it? He's going to puke. Cause the steak he tried, he didn't have the typo negative. He's already. Wow, he's a mess. Wow, he really hates this. Then why are you doing this to yourself? You don't have to eat a pickle. You got to make content. There's no nutritional value here. One. Do it. You can do it. I can do it. Oh, you pussy. He's definitely not. He's throwing our pen. You fucking bitch. Just eat it. I can't do it. I can't. I mean, pussy. Bro, you can't even post this. Yeah, bro. That's not cool. You don't need to fucking eat it. At least take a little lick. Like touch your tongue. Take a little tongue. Get your clip read. What? But I can see myself getting this mentally ill. Can't you? Yes, of course. Of course. This could be me in a bat in a bad year. In a week. We talk about it. I don't eat white things. I don't eat anything. I guess everywhere. Yeah, I can see you doing that real soon. Oh, yeah. But I love pickles. This is not. It wouldn't be pickles for me. It would be things like chicken. Cause I get worried about germs. Tuna fish is gross. Yeah, sushi. I would stop eating raw fish. It would be more about those things for me. Like bacteria getting sick. Yeah. What would you? Do you think? How would you go? How would I go mental? Yeah. Like what would your mental illness be? Uh, recluse. Like probably isolate. Howard Hughes style. Yeah, be real. I say, don't talk to anybody anymore. Yeah, at all. Just fucking shut the door. Make it dark. Sit in the room and be papers and shit everywhere. What are you doing? I'm like working on some shit. I'm writing. And then you just see like one letter written like jave 70 times. Okay. Are you into video games? Are you that shut in that you're not even communicating with others on video games? I mean, I could do video games. I probably wouldn't communicate with people though. I would just do like without that. Yeah, I could do that. But I think I would actually just get into a deep isolation and throw the system off the roof. Yeah. Yeah. I can see myself going crazy with this food thing and then with animals. Like I can see myself adopting so many animals. It starts with the cats. I need to dogs. I'm going to get to chickens. I want to get a goat. It's going to be like that. Yeah. I mean, the house full of animals. Shitting everywhere. Yeah. And fun hair everywhere in the bed and stuff. It smells bad. And you're like babe, I can't. Yeah. You as cat lady, that could be a thing. Cat lady dog lady. That's just all the animals. Birds, shit everywhere. This is piss and shit all over the house. Yeah. That would be my thing. These are my babies. Oh fuck. Yeah. Yeah. You're the opposite because I want the companionship and love. You want isolation. Yeah. No human contact. Yes. I can see that. This is a horrible hilarious. Are you ready? Yeah, buddy. I'm so excited. I haven't seen any of these. Now he's a bad guy. You're going to be good. Oh, fuck. I always holding on. He's a bro. That car's going like 40 holy shit. That's where it ends. What? Did his hand get stuck in the window in the door? Holy shit. There were no further reports on the incident. It was never found in NYPD getting involved. Holy shit. Please, let's see it again. Let's see the beginning. I don't know if you got stuck or he held on. He's yelling. Hey. Yeah. Smart to pull the feet up. That was smart. Oh my fucking god. He was just holding onto the door. I mean, I think his hand was on the inside, but That's wild, that could. Mean that must have ended okay. Yeah, and that guy probably stopped Because if he didn't if he didn't if that guy just went flying that would just be well known I feel like you know, yeah, like he would have lost his legs already That was a good one. That was a good one. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, I don't yeah Oh holy shit You get what happened? Yeah, sorry. She landed on her fucking ankle. No, no, but like It's her leg twisted because she went to box this thing. I don't like it It's not funny To freak out. That could be broken. I don't know if it's broken or not. It's broken. You think it's broken I can't imagine that from like what happened. It's just the torque The torque of doing it she missed she didn't make contact and then that just spun her around And she either broke it or severely sprained it. Yeah, well Should be all horrible. She'll be okay. Yeah. It's like at a kid's place too. Yeah, this is like fucking Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah The lights flickered on that one. Oh my god. I thought we were gonna see someone disembowel This is a new level dude, and he touched just on like like I just made that Let's see Fuck yeah, he just checked himself like are my intestines still inside? I was a lucky day, bro Dude by a lot of ticket. That's wow that he just saw his whole life flash before his eyes Dude, that was like a fucking Near-death experience. Can you imagine going through that? Yeah, I'd have to take like the the week off. Oh, yeah, I wouldn't be able to pick that thing up again Like now somebody else do this no career Fuck that I was not late. I thought he was gonna cut slice himself in half for this is something about the world today Though that I think about sometimes is that the only people that would handle something like that 20 plus years ago would be somebody like very highly trained in doing that And in today's world you can just be like I want to bandsaw and people are like yeah, just fucking there you go And then you guy got it and you go Chat GPT how do I do that and then people just like look up they go I know how to do this and so you have a lot more occurrence as I think of You know tool accidents Because people have access to them now. We didn't used to have access to everything. No, these are uninformed Yeah, just kind of know what the fuck he's doing now. There's no chance. I thought he was gonna spray. I thought that was shit spraying on the wall He's trying to slice tile bro. Yeah, that's what that thing he didn't know what he's doing and he's light too Yeah, he didn't have to wait on him to push that thing Fuck this I would never he never catch me doing this. I found the thing. I don't like yeah What is a school rolling? I don't like necks and backs breaking That that that was awful. How does it start again? I don't care and I'm not showing him. No, they're trying to roll in like a cable spool This is like at a fair fuck that dude. Oh, I love after math no update Okay, whoo Yeah, she could be I think we just saw like three or four vertebrae just go Please just oh fucking fine. Just let me see how they what's the what went wrong in the Oh And fun music Hey, you want to see someone get paralyzed? For people just Listening she folded over on herself Her her front her hands went on the floor and then she fucking folded over on herself. Yeah Dinner dinner. I'm so upset right now Wow Fuck I need something to that sucks dude. I'm Ryan and I want to be recognized by some of the hottest women here on Instagram So spread the word you got it Ryan. Hey, there it is right there. That's what we need to do Can you everybody who watches knows at least a hottie one or two hotties on Instagram? Why don't you let them know to acknowledge Ryan please somebody Give him a little acknowledgement. He wants to meet the hottest women. Are you the hottest women meet Ryan meet Ryan He wants a big ass in his face. Don't you like doing that stuff? Yeah, dude. Come on. Give Ryan some love. Meet him. Love him Do it. Jesus Christ So upsetting. I know fucking so mad right now. I thought that video. Yes, I fucking hate it. I know Oh No, I was not gonna. I Love you read it My mother for you to do Poor father father is in bird in bird. They try to see you embarrass me. It's like she it's actually I put jury on my side to read jury What what is the relationship of this father and son you think it's good But it's positive I mean the father had to go to like certain levels of acceptance, right? I mean he's not like oh, yeah come meet Todd. He's regular kid Okay, there's there's two scenarios dad was absent during Todd's Childhood or Todd just came out mentally ill. Yeah, he's just been used to he's just like over to fucking Todd. Mm-hmm Um This look is really outrageous. I do like the look though Yeah, I don't know. I'm gonna go with Todd just came out messed up because dad's still a part of his life right now So I think he's doing a character maybe too, right? This could be this could be a character thing in this day and age where people just Understand that like if you do something outrageous, you might get a following. Yeah, maybe he's he's not really like this 24/7 I mean he did say father correctly and then go that mean father Oh, right. Yeah, yeah It's it's I don't know one of the tasks. I'm on marine but I'm smart like who the fuck? Look at our on my face though. You hear me like really shit though like I'm like my dad right love me Yeah, trying to break up families and shit that fuck up and on the same twin tap in I got motion. You see me on my Murr. This is those two those twins started this, right? Yeah, does that look that Florida? That's shit? What were they the island boys? Island boys. Yeah, this is island boy look. I mean kind of yeah, and then they talk the same way Are this kid's tats real though? This isn't something about them kind of read false to you Yeah, they'd look they don't look real to me, but I'm not a tattoo expert. I mean he's He's their fucking nuts, bro. Yeah, this guy's got mental problems. So what is it like pull up one of those? What's he talking about? Thanks, I'm a do some Where are my retouch? I'm on my name test on my body Maria Yeah, if y'all keep calling my last day if I change, I'm a do some Yeah, Todd's Todd came out this way. Yeah, he might have been yeah wires across. Yeah, I'm proud of you see You you you you you you you and you yeah See there's that's a good voice. Yeah, yeah, no, nobody's born talking like that. Yeah, you know That's all of their yeah, I want it to be off I'm about to get Now she's oh look he's with his dad there. You see that his dad's so tired Was I ever in detention to detention in school. Yep. I see it. Yeah, that's the reason why I look like I'll tell you this though That dad has a he dissociates and he also is patient, but every once in a while he goes cut the fucking shit Why it? Stop talking like that. He's got and then why it goes like all right dad So man, yeah, I just can I borrow another five grand to get a chain This is such a bad. I mean, and you can't even lock these these fooders up anymore Yeah, you know, I'm saying you can't you can't just give them to a mental hospital be like just locked I mean this guy needs first of all he needs a following that you can't get you can't employ him anywhere No, this guy's fucked. What are you gonna do? Yeah, you can't do a job. He's done No, you got you got you got to put these people in yeah, you can work in a warehouse, you know Maybe but he wants too much attention. Of course, you can't I never want to be like could you just fucking stack those boxes please? Yeah No, this kid has a lot of needs. Yeah, I would be so bombed of one of worse. Well good rrr luck luck in what you No, um, I hope he's making music at least he's making music. Yeah, I'm sure it's then there you go probably really good. Yeah we know. All right let's wrap this shit up. We got things to do. Yeah, thanks for watching. Thanks for listening. We will see you next week. Hi mommy. Bye [Music] I'm looking for a bike girl. What a badass. I'm looking for a bike girl. What a badass. What a badass. There's five. What a badass. What a badass. What a badass. And they got to work for me. What a badass. What a badass. There's five. What a badass. What a badass.