Speaker 1hey welcome back to another episode of hey shelby i am so glad that you're here with me um so let's get right into it um had a little break had a little you know trying to like figure things out and um what i wanted to do what i wanted to put out there you know why is all that kind of stuff you know just the average like self-doubt um maybe not so much average maybe average who knows um but i've you know checking in with myself spirit guides you know whatever is out there leading you and leading me and um i just decided to release being self-critical you know trying to stop worrying and let you know just telling myself that every you know i'm not going to be a self-critical person i'm going to be a self-critical person and i'm going to be a self-critical person and i'm going to be a self-critical person everything's going to be fine and that whatever i do um just don't give up and just have patience with the process so this this is doing it for me trading living all of it just for yourself so that's what today's podcast is going to be about just doing it for yourself and what that even is so um we'll get right into it hey so doing it for yourself creating living all of the above uh the biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams so oprah said that obviously there's some great truth and value and all kinds of love and wonderfulness behind that one um but yeah so i wanted to talk about it for myself just because there's just been a lot of like uncertainty and worry and just this like unfamiliarity about the future and my comfort zone has been totally annihilated and polarized and just oh my gosh just so much stuff has been going on and i'm sure that a lot of things have been going on with you guys as well so it's not just like me going through things it's the whole world has gone through so much stuff and you know from the littlest thing of having to wear a mask over our face saying staying six feet apart you know being away from family and friends and just all this um and more and much more i mean that is just the tip of the iceberg but i just wanted to kind of talk about doing it for yourself and especially right now just because i think it's right now is a great time to claim what you want what you desire and just hold that right in front of you in the palm of your hands and say like yeah you know what i want this i am so ready for this i am going to shine brighter do more do this and i'm just going to do it for me even if it's doing nothing or even if it's having everything that you had in your hands and letting go of all of it because i am the same way so i had all this stuff i had all these things set and prepared and i was like okay i'm gonna be the best adult the best daughter the best other half the best all these things and then the whole world kind of like shut down and i i think i kind of shut down too not in like i can't do this anymore but just in a was this really worth it was this what i really wanted to do and it made me second guess things and then it made me put my life on the line and i was like okay i'm gonna do this myself on the back burner which is so crazy um because i mean how can you put yourself on the back burner when it's your life and i found out i i did it so a lot of things have happened and i was just putting myself out there in the only way that i can and it was for others to take care of others to be with others to have an adventure and it wasn't something that i wanted but i was like yeah i'm gonna do it because i love adventure you know traveling and experiencing things and doing all that kind of stuff but it was so interesting because it was turning out that i was sacrificing myself to go and do all of this but i had thought i was doing this for myself it was a weird thing that i had gone through and um it took several like hits to for me to sit back and be like wait a minute i don't think i like this i don't think i want this and then you know another hit another hit another thing happened and it just kept going on and on and then i was like wait wait wait wait wait i i don't think i'm living for myself you know how did i get myself into this hole and it wasn't like abusive or anything like that it definitely was just too much i was giving myself away too much and i wasn't balancing and giving myself any of that love and consideration and time and energy that i was giving so much to everyone else and then the crazy thing was it kept happening like every person i met or i was around or i was with they kept and i don't say this lightly literally sucking the life out of me because every person i met or i was around i was so drained and exhausted and it was like i had run a thousand marathons in this short crazy amount of time and i was drowning and i couldn't catch my breath and i was just physically exhausted and but i still kept giving because i was like well there's nothing else to do right like a pandemic's going on everything that i had lined up on my to-do list i couldn't do or i told myself i couldn't do and or i told myself like well it's not gonna happen this this this this way so screw the list and we'll try something totally different and so then i just gave my heart and soul and everything to everyone else and found out that it was too much because i didn't give any of it back to myself and i do not resent anyone i gave it to because when i give i give out of full and complete love i just didn't understand what was going on because i was giving out of love i love these people and i love being there for them but there's just there was no balance for me and i had to i had to take care of them and i had to take care of them and i had to take care of them and i had to take care of them and i had to take care of them and i had to take a step back and really just kind of look back and say like you know what no one is sticking up for me no one is putting themselves out there to take care of me except for me so i think i have to do that for myself and it was really clear after a whole bunch of things went down and i just could not anymore and it wasn't like i was angry it was more like you know when you're super exhausted and tired and just like sleep deprived and you have this kind of like weird high moment where you're like kind of drowsy and whatever that's when i was like nope i'm doing this for me and then i got on a plane and i went to go and visit another friend but this was that one was my choice because i was like i'm doing this for me and then i got on a plane and i went to go and visit no this is for me i'm gonna do it and it was so funny and it was like really quick and talk about a roller coaster and i was so excited because i chose this roller coaster and it wasn't like the trip was a roller coaster it was just like i was so grateful that it was something that i chose something that i chose to do and i received so much life and love and excitement out of it and i just didn't want it to stop and then when i came back home and i was still receiving this life and love and excitement it kind of threw me off because i always thought that i had to go away or i had to go and seek adventure and excitement to fulfill my own dreams and And then when I came back home, I was still trying to do a checklist and helping everybody and it was a lifeline, and it was so refreshing and helpful to see that I could do it no matter where I was. I could get whatever I desired. I could receive all the beautiful gifts and excitement and wonderful things that I wanted because it was just unfolding for me right in front of me, and it was doing it for me because I wanted it, and for a split second, I say a split second because I worry a lot. I overthink a lot, and I stopped worrying, and I was like, you know what? I've got a mission now, and it is to live for me, for no one else but for me, and that was a little scary because I was talking with my friends, and I was talking to new people, and I had this inkling like, oh my god, what are they going to think? What are they going to do? Like, it's not for them. Are they going to still be around? And then I had this really strong voice in the back of my mind that was like, eff it. This is for you. This is for you. Aren't you happy at the life that we're creating right now? Aren't you happy with the trail that we're on? Like, look at all the amazing things you're going to do. Yeah, sure. It may be lonely. There may be no one else on this trail. Your friends may not be invited. You know, you may not meet anyone. You may have to do this all by yourself, and the other trail, you know, I've had, I have my friends, you know, and family, and just other people, and this one that I was sitting out for, in my eyes, it was completely alone because I had to do this all by myself because if anybody else was involved, I would give my all to them, and I would forget myself, and I didn't want to do that anymore. I had come to this big breaking point that didn't break me, but it broke the idea that I was living, and I'm living for other people, to help other people, to be there for other people, and you know, all this kind of stuff, and in reality, we're not. We're not living for anyone else. We're not brought here to this earth for anyone else. We are here to live our own lives, and to do what we want, and I hope that what we want, and what we do brings us so much joy, and light, and just so much magic, and it's so good for us that it's good for others, but then in the end, who cares? You know, I mean, I hope that as we're living our lives, you know, we don't have to do this all by ourselves. You know, we don't have to do this all by ourselves. You know, we don't have to do this all by ourselves, because we're enough to create that amazing life for ourselves, and what has really held me back is that I have always told my friends, family, like, you know, like, I'm your biggest supporter. I'm your biggest fan. I'm your biggest cheerleader. Like, I will be there for you, when in reality, I should have been yelling that to myself, because that's what I wanted. I wanted cheerleaders. I wanted support. I wanted somebody who would be like, I've got your back, no matter what. Like, you give me a call. You, whatever. Like, I will be there, even if it's a hug, even if it's just, you know, a hello. Or be like, yeah, girl, you did it. Like, that's what I wanted, instead of this validation in the other sense, where it's like, well, if I do this, this, this, and this, then at least I'll get praise, which I didn't really care about, because I was like, man, if I had to go and do all this, and then people tell me I'm, you know, the shit, screw that, because I didn't know all this shit. I had to go and do all this by myself, and to me, that is the scariest, that is the scarier thing, not to accomplish all these crazy, magnificent things. I swear, we need a medal for starting and then walking along this journey. Like, when I run a marathon, I want someone to cheer at me and be like, holy shit, you cycled for that marathon. And I want someone there when I am training for that marathon. I want someone there when I am dying on the sidewalk, because I push my body so hard that I can't breathe no more. I want someone there when I am putting on my clothes. I want someone there when I am painting on my number, and nervous out of my mind, and shaking, and my skin is crawling, and I can't, you know, do it even though I've trained for it. I want someone there for that. I want someone there at the starting line. I want someone there to take pictures of me in the middle. I want someone there along the journey to tell me, yeah, man, you're doing this. This is incredible. Like, holy shit, you are doing this. You are doing this. You are doing it. Not you've done it. You're doing it. You are in the race. You are actually freaking walking the walk. You're in the momentum. You are living. Like, that's what I wanted. And I was that for everybody else. And now I need to do it for myself. And it has been so crazy cool, because don't, I mean, it's been a roller coaster. Like I said, you know, on the side of the sidewalk, throwing up. Yeah, no, definitely had those moments. Definitely had the, like, critical, self-critical moments where I was like, oh my god, what are you doing? Stop. Go back. But you know what? I had to just step out of my comfort zone. And usually I was the cheerleader for everyone else. And now I have to, literally flip the script, turn that mirror around to myself, and be like, Booski, you got to put on those shoes. Great. You did it. Holy shit. That was the first step. Now let's walk out that door. And you know what? I'm going to be there with you every step of the way, because everything is going to be fine. We are confident about our future. We're claiming this. We're doing this. Everything happens in divine order. And we're being guided to learn and grow. And this was my biggest growth, was that I had to be my own cheerleader so that I could accomplish and do everything that I wanted, because it was for me. Because nobody else was going to cheer me on for what I wanted to do. Like if I had an ideal, or if I had things I wanted to do, or if I wanted to try something, I couldn't look around and be like, yeah, what do you think? No. No one's there. No one's there but you. And I got this cute little Panda Express fortune. And man, these fortunes, I don't know about you guys, but I like Panda's fortunes. Let me go and get that for lunch today, just because. But it said, or it says, your independence shall lead you to rewarding adventures. And you know what? I totally believe that now. I get goosebumps when I hear that, that my independence will lead me to rewarding adventures. And at first, when I first thought that, I was like, yeah, man, I'm independent AF woman. Hear me roar, roar, roar, roar. No, it's my independence from the idea that I need others around to get these rewarding adventures. And it's not. It's just me being by myself. And it's just me being by myself. And it's just me being me, doing it for me, creating that life for myself, all of it. And you know what? I know that the best will unfold for me because everything that happens is meant for me. I'm supposed to learn from it or grow from it, or it's supposed to help me be better. And I am better every single day because I remember that. And I'm creating the life that I want, the one of my dreams. And I'm so excited. And I hope that you guys are because I want you to live this life for yourself. Like I'm getting so much goosebumps for cheering for you. And I hope that you find a way to cheer for yourself. I hope that you find a way to tell yourself that you're enough, that you're your own hero, and that you can do this. And that everything that you do is amazing. The fact that you woke up this morning, holy shit, you know that there's not a lot of people that wake up every morning. I mean, yeah, we, we take that for granted. granted. We take for granted that we can breathe on our own, that we can walk on our own, that we can use the tools that we have right in front of us to do the things that we need to do. And I'm so grateful that I have all these tools. And I am so grateful that I can now just relax and just do what I want and just go with it. Because I'm letting go of control. I'm letting go of that list in my mind that I have to do all these things to get all these things in. No. The only list I'm going to create is all the things that I want to do for myself. Like just myself. Not for others' validations. Not to get some award. But just to check it off and be like, like, holy shit, you wrote that on your list? Yeah, boo. I'm going to do it. Yeah, man. Let's do it. Like that's what my list is going to be for. It's the accomplishment that I am going to be doing these amazing, incredible things because I wanted to do it. And you know what? What's amazing to me may not be amazing to you. What's incredible to you may not be incredible to me. But it is for us. Like I have mean anxiety. And some days, I don't see that bitch anywhere. It's great. Other days, that mother fucker crawls up and scares the shit out of me where I have this crazy, crazy little panic attack. And no matter what I do, it just goes. So yeah. And you know, we just survive it. We go and we move on from it. And it's I'm just so grateful for that. Yeah, I hope that you you find things to do for yourself. And, you know, let me know. Let me know what it is I'd love to hear and know and see. And, you know, I've got an Instagram, this thing you can definitely go ahead and respond to. But yeah, release that self critical voice. And Let that cheerleader in you go. Let her go and cheer for every single wonderful accomplishment that you did. Because you are incredible. We're incredible. What we can do, what we are doing is incredible. Please see that. I hope you do. I do. And you know what? I'm ready to receive more. And I'm so happy. And I hope that you guys have an amazing day. And that this was helpful. And yeah. So do it for yourself. Do it for yourself. Cheer for yourself. You know. I know that the best is going to unfold for you. As long as you do it for you. Alright. So thank you so much for listening to this episode of Hey Shelby. And I'll catch you guys next time. Bye. Hey, thank you for listening to that episode of Hey Shelby. If you've got any questions, message me at askheyshelby at gmail.com. Or hit me up on Instagram at heyshelbypodcast. And I look forward to hearing from you guys. Thanks so much. Have a great day. Bye. Thanks for watching!
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