Fat Skinny Eyes

Hey, bad friends. I am so excited to announce that this weekend, December 6th in Los Angeles at LA Valley College. I am putting together the first annual Ho Ho Homers, a home run derby event for Southern California Special Olympics. I would love to see you out there from noon to four common donate. There's crazy silent auction items, autographed jerseys, all sorts of merch, tickets, events. You can win a four-sum to play golf with me at Sherwood Country Club in beautiful Thousand Oaks, California. Please come out and see us December 6th, LA Valley College. If you are out of the LA area, you just want to donate and support Southern California Special Olympics. Go to the link that's in the description down below. It's s-o-s-c dot org slash Ho Ho Homers. We'll put the link down below. But happy holidays and hope to see you there. Hey, guess what, guys? We have a new merch and check this shirt out. I love this shirt because this is one I can almost die. That's when you almost died out back. It's one of the most traumatic moments. Bobby Blading. It's a great shirt. We have it on a long sleeve like that. We have it on a short sleeve. And we also have this hoodie, this white hoodie right here. We love it. Grab one today for the holiday season for you, your family, your friends. Who cares? Get one. Go to BadFriendsMurts.com. BadFriendsMurts.com. You two are bad friends. You are these two idiots. You two are something bad friends. Why are you making fun of fanny packs? You know, you know, Yoshinobu Yamamoto of the Dodgers is big into bags. Do you know about this? Yeah. Look at his bag collection. This is the new thing. Asian men with bags is a huge thing. And that's why I'm into it. Because I'm an Asian man. I like bags. Look at the bag I got. Let me see your bag. All right. Okay. So I come in here and Andreas our producer. Andreas. Andreas. I call him Andreas when he's acting like that. Take him back a peg. Yeah. He picks up my bag. And he starts prancing around the podcast room. Look at me. I gay. And I listen as a man, as an Asian man, I love bags. You do love bags. Yeah. Could you carry a purse? Do you think? That's not a joke. Many men are carrying this. This is a purse. No, that's a fanny pack. But I have everything and you want to see what's in it. Let's see. Open up your purse. Okay. So we got notes for a joke notes. Joke notes. My phone. Okay. Yeah. You need that. And then you check it out. Cologne. Got to have it. Got to have it. Got to smell good. Right. And then I have side pockets too. Hold on. That's what's in the side pocket here. That's like my wife's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nutri-dream-o. Acne patches. Acne patches are useful. Yeah. Very useful. We need all this stuff. And that's pretty much all that's in it. Oh, an air pod. Yep. A lighter. Yep. And a listerine thing for my breath. All this stuff adds up. Yeah. You're a sick man. Stick that in your pocket. No way. Actors or what is that? Across Asia, wire more men carrying women's handbags. Exactly. I'm telling you, it's becoming a new thing. Look at these are both men with very nice handbags. Yeah. They don't want to have sex anymore. I think it's a new thing. Yeah. And by the way, that's not true because their birth rate is through the roof. These guys, they can't stop. Maybe this will slow it down. Yeah. Yeah. This is a population stopper. Yeah. Now that's too far. Why? When there's a thing where you actually carry it with your hand, I don't think I could go to that level. You're saying it's okay if it goes. It's a scrap because I don't, I don't do this around my waist. You know what I mean? I do this thing where it's like, like, I mean, non-chalant is like non-slot around around the shoulder. So it's almost like a back. It's like a side bag. Yeah. And then sometimes I'm at the airport and I have my backpack, right? Clip the backpack and I put this in the front like this. Oh, a front pack. Like a front pack. So I have a backpack and a front pack, right? And I don't know what you're laughing. So historically right now, my friend, because you're about to get it. I mean, it does look, it looks comfortable. It looks nice. Yeah. Yeah. It's a fashion item as well. It's a fashion item. It's a, it's one more piece. It's a piece. Yeah. And it's iron heart, which they do great jeans. Look at this, but find African-American man. Black man. You're so afraid to say black guy first. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Look at this fine, but man, there's LeBron. LeBron with a bag. Always with the Louis. But that's a, but that's a duffle bag. That's a different thing. Duffles are their own category. That's a purse. Yeah. Well, it would tell me the difference between a duffle bag and a person. Okay. Look, a duffle bag is a male except. Look at that. I know. Do you even know who that is? Pilot the craters. Sure. Here's the my logic. A duffle bag is, is a man's bag that's, that is little purse leaning. A fanny pack is, it can be a man's bag. That is a little fem leaning. And then if you have a purse, there's a straight up purse. Yeah. Harry Styles with a purse. Yeah. And that's a little, that's very fem. That's very, you're in the middle. You're by. Yeah. A fanny pack is by. Okay. It's by. Okay. I'm by. We know fashion wise. Well, and fashion, but there's a transference of life. Yeah. Your bags are your life. Yeah. Fashion is life. Is it not? I'm not bisexual. All right. But anyway, who's this? Jacob Lardy, but Jacob Lardy. Oh my god. Look at that. Well, look at, look at, look at. And now, let me say that you pick up that yellow bag that Jay, Jay, Jacob Lardz and do you do it in front of him. He'll rip you. Jay, they'll stretch you out. Jay, Jay, Gabbalar. That's so gay to say that. What? Rip and stretch you out. I'm talking about his butthole. Yeah. He will rip. Stretch your butt a little like the Joker's mouth in like two. Stitches the whole thing, dude. All right. Watch your fucking face. All right. All right. Look up. Yoshinoba. Yo Yamamoto's bag collection. This guy for the Dodgers, he's got one of the most iconic bag. People, people, people, uh, here we go, shopping again, post about him all the time. Yeah. Go to all. Go to all. Go to all. We're just on images. Not even shopping. There you go. Just do his bag collection. There's got to be a video about it. What about his bag? Let's go through some of them. And now this guy doing the announcement. He's not gay. Yeah. Turquoise. Retailing at $11,600 made from calf leather with cow-hyde trim. His teammate Keke also has one on twins. Then we have the Chanel 22. This is a bag. That's a purse. 100 in a shiny calf skin. I tried this on in a burgundy, major regret not getting it. This is very she come him. Vishnell doesn't stop there. He's also a lever. You're also very shick. Yeah, I want him to do what what what why am I? Again, I can't believe and I believe has a iron heart. It says engineers on it. It's very um, leather, right? Shake is shake and um, it really goes with his torso. It does. Yeah. It's almost like it's a an attachment to his own body like a limb. That's right. Yeah. It's interesting because you've lost weight now, so you're putting on more things. Yeah. You know, you need more stuff on you. Also, um, I have, um, I still have fat eyes. No, you don't. No, when I'm someone argue, you have what's very fat day, very skinny eyes. Yeah. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't meet it in that sense. I don't either. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That's good. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm skinny eyes. You have skinny eyes. Yeah, very skinny eyes. Yeah. I would say I have medium eyes. Medium eyes. But what when I look at myself in the mirror, I still see a fat guy. See that that will that ever go away? Do you think I don't know, but I, I like, I'll do bends and see where the fat is and go. I gotta lose that. You know, man. See, this is the problem that they say. They're, you keep, you continually move the goalposts. Yeah. You lost a lot of weight. Yeah. Now you still want to lose more. When does it end until I look like Karen Carpenter? Yeah, yeah. Body dysmorphia. That's what we, body dysmorphia. That's what it meant. The health condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about their flaws and their appearances. Yeah. But you don't have many flaws. I have a flat ass. No, I think you have tiny little bumps in it too. I don't know why those are the dimples in your touch. You have a little dimples. Do you have dimples? I have dimples. Yeah, yeah. And they're my favorite one. When you, you're on yours, you're my, that's my favorite place to bite. Okay. Bumps on your butt can be caused by acne inflammation. That's not a follicles. No, I think it's just, it's just age. I think it's just life. Yeah. You're not going to have a perfect round butt the rest of your life. That's impossible. I mean, Carlos does have a perfectly round butt. He has a nice butt. Yeah. But that's just genetics. Right. Yeah. Well, no, because fancy doesn't have a nice butt. No. We've never seen it. See it. Let's see it. Well, it's just Google Porg's butt. He's back at it with his dizzy. You did hear you out. Yeah. There's a little porgy right there. That's the pork butt. Yeah. He's very Harry Potter today. Did you watch the movies? Or what's going on here? I played a video game. Okay. Okay. There we go. Good callback. Good callback for something that people even know what you're talking about. Yeah. You know, but you do, you are, you have layers on today. This is this is going to be the future of bad weather coming in. The kids got the sweater with the sweater and the collard shirt. Double sweater collard. It is cute. It's one sweater. It is cute though. Oh, it's, oh, it makes it looks like it's two. Yeah. Wow. Wait, wait. It's one sweater that has like a stitching. No, it'd be real. It's right. Stick your hand between. Oh my god. You know what this like? It's like that clip on tie. Yeah. It's a clip on tie. Yeah. Oh my god. This is like they made those jackets with head hoodies stitched inside of them. Yeah. And they're not real hoodies. This is the same thing. Yeah. I kind of like where do you get that? That's a wall. That's a wall too. Oh, they have that dead stock though. They don't make this anymore. - It's worth money now at this point. - Yeah, yeah. - He'll have the largest collection of Desi Wild. - Yeah, and all that has the symbol on it? - Yeah. - Okay. Yeah, the symbol, I don't know. If it was just nothing, that'd be cool. - Okay, good. Yeah. And do you always wear those glasses? - Worthy new. - He's been wearing those since we known. - Okay. I think with that outfit, it's very Harry Potter. - Are those new glasses though? A new design? - Yes, they're like fairly new, like seven, eight months. - Oh wow. - The whole year you've had those? - Yeah. - Wow. - Have you just noticed them now? - They look different today. - They look different. - You know what it is though? He's got a little pep in his step. I'm guessing. - This is a little of his hair too. - Yes. - What's going on there? - It's a crunch, it's like, he's trying to be young. - Yeah. - Right. - You know, oh, he just waved his hand. - He just waved his hand. - You know what happened? - I wish Turkey didn't exist. (laughing) - Why? - Because that's where he got his hair done. - Oh, that's right. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's why you're in a good, am I right? - You are right. - See, I knew it. - I could tell. - That's what it is. - When his balls are full, he's more annoyed. - Yeah. - Now he feels light and airy, 'cause he's empty. - Exactly. - Yeah. - That time of the year, you know? - Yeah. - How long does it last? - Not too long. - How long does it? - Him? - Yeah, yeah. - What do you think? - I think she makes him pleasure her and he doesn't, he has to go in the bathroom when it's over and-- (laughing) - Oh, right. - She doesn't want to see that. - Yeah. - I did it once, they had a kid, it's over, she's done. They don't want to do that anymore. - It must be fun for you, huh? Yeah, very good. Don't that wink is so creepy. (laughing) - I got a girl, I had a girl after the show ask me for your number. - And would you tell me, one to ten, what is it? - One to ten, what is it? - I mean, her look. - Her look? - Yeah, to you. We have different parameters. - I think in the social world she'd be a seven or eight. - Yeah. - And I didn't give her your number, that's okay. - Why? - Well, that'd be inappropriate, just giving out your number. - Do you get her Instagram account? - No, she goes, that's not helping. - She said, can I please have Bobby's number? I said, just DM him. I can't give you his number, that's not appropriate. You want me to give out your number to people? I'm not doing that. - But use your own judgment. (laughing) - That's what I'm saying. - This woman, I met for five tenths of a second. How can I judge her? She said, I'm such a big fan of you guys. Is there any way you can give me Bobby's number? - One to ten, that's how you judge it. - Seven. - Yeah. - So I gave her, I gave her, what is that? I gave her two thirds of your number. - Yeah. - She has to guess the rest. - 'Cause McCone set me up. - She's real, we've been talking. - Oh, really? - Yeah, yeah. - Who's this girl? - Some random person slid into my DMs and was like, I want to get in contact with Bobby. - Yeah. - And I screenshot it and I just text. - Is she good looking? - Yeah. - And you guys have been chatting. - Yeah. - Text or DM? - DM. - So it's not ready yet. - But she wants the FaceTime. - That's so strange. - Why? - Why does she need a FaceTime? - Oh, you, that's your thing. - Yeah, because it's like, she lives in Canada. - Oh, this is another one of these things. - What? - This is never gonna come to fruition. - Yeah, well. - You're really gonna fly her down? - Well, you know, I-- - How far? - Remember I did that girl from Spokane, that happened? - Yeah, but that's because you met her in Spokane and then it continued, you'd never met this human being. - Oh, but I did that a couple times in New York. - At one time, was it in New York? (laughing) One time didn't, didn't work out so well. Yeah, we remember how that went. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - There was two from New York, one was a disaster, yeah. - One was a absolute nightmare. Can we say that? - I don't know. - She was hammered at 10 in the morning. - Yeah, she was all callous of them. - Hammered? - Yeah. - 10 a.m. - But do you remember that? - You guys, you got me, you got me, she was drooling at breakfast, I was like-- - I know, but do you remember when that was the first after my break up with Kalilah, that was the first? - That was the first girl. - Yeah, so I didn't know any different. - Well, you knew now. - I know now, I would never. - But how far in Canada is this Canadian girl? - Vancouver. - Oh, that's not far, that's not bad. - That's not far. - No, Western Canada, I think you can do. - You can do Western Canada. - Yeah, but once you get east of Alberta, it gets tough. You're not going over there. - Yeah. - You're not doing Winnipeg. - Yeah. - It's just fun, you know, getting to know somebody. - What is the most engaging part for you? - What do you mean? - What are you interested the most in this part of the dating thing? Of this little nook of time? - Okay, well there's-- - Is it the banter? - No, no, no, here's what I look for the negatives. - Okay. - Body, just morph you again. - No, it's not body, just morph you. - Only looking for the negatives. - No, no, no, like, you know what I mean? Does she have a drinking problem? - Right. - Right, 'cause you know what I mean? We had that problem before. - We did, right? So you go, okay, you can cut a sense. How much do you party? - Oh, do you party? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And what did they say? I party some time. - Okay, you be the girl, I'll ask. - Okay. - All right. - Are we on FaceTime right now? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Hey, hold on, I can't, do you see me? - I see you. - That's always that. - Can you hear me? - Can you hear me? - Can you hear me? - No, no, you're like cutting it in and out. - Oh, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I see you now. - Hey! - Hey! - Hey! - Hi, sorry. - Oh my God, you're so much cuter than I thought you were. - Yeah, you too, wow. - Yeah, what's up? - Yeah, what's, I mean, um, what's going on? (laughing) This is it? - It's the gang master again. - What? - What? - The gang master. - Yeah, yeah, it's the gang master. - No. - It's on design. - Uh-huh. - You, it's designed. - It's by design, I mean, it's by design, right? Make it awkward. - Hey, is that, is, are you in your place? Is that your place behind you? - Yeah. - There's cat poop on the couch. (laughing) - Yeah. - That's cool. - I have cats. - Is that a design thing? - Yeah, it's a design thing. - All by design. - So what do you wanna know about me, Bobby? - Um, so you do a lot of yoga, huh? - Five or six days a week. - Oh, that's great. - Well, I'm a yoga teacher, so that-- - Oh, I'll do, you know, I'll be honest with you. - Mm-hmm. - I had an instructor during COVID. My name is Kara from Hawaii, and I did a lot of yoga. And I really, I just felt like, that was the best time I ever felt in my life. - I don't know if I care about other girls. Hearing about other girls. - No, she was at my, my yoga instructor happened to be a woman. - Sure, but I don't, it's about me right now. Not Kara. - I'm sensitive, huh? - A little bit, my last boyfriend was, my last boyfriend cheated on me with a yoga instructor. - Yeah. - I became a yoga instructor. - Was that why? - Yeah, I was a kindergarten teacher before this. - It's weird. - It's a little strange. - Yeah, yeah. - But I mean, you're a little strange. - Yeah, you know, it's like, you know, my ex-girlfriend was a hitman, you know? And cheated with a hitman, now I'm a hitman. You know, it doesn't make any. - Yeah. - Yeah, anyway. Bye. (laughing) - I mean, you took it there. Already it's weird. - I feel like that's a real conversation that would happen. - I don't think that she would say like, I don't wanna talk about your female yoga instructor. That's fucking weird. - Maybe she doesn't want to. - All right, let's just try to be insecure. - You have to. - You have to. - Well, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, that. - Yeah, my, male yoga instructor. - Oh, cool. So you love yoga. - I love it. - You still do it? - No, I haven't done it yet. - Yeah, well, it's so busy. - Maybe if we hang out, we can do yoga together. - I would love to. I'd like to start back out, but yeah. - Let's do it. - You can teach me. - Yeah. - Oh, but it'd be fun. - Yeah. - In fact, I could even, you know, pay a little something to classes online. - I, I don't want money. I just, I want your company. - Wow, that's cool. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Oh, what else do you do? - Um, I don't know, like, I like yoga. I like, uh, much getting much lattes in the morning. - You look at the much latte. - I love them. - Oh, who doesn't love a much latte? - I love them. I like taking long walks. I have seven dogs. - Seven dogs. - Well, they're not mine. I'm a dog. I walk people's dogs. - Oh, that's cool. So it's like a side hustle. - Uh, yeah. It's a little side job. - Yeah, yeah. - I have a bunch of side jobs. - I have four dogs. - Oh, you do? - Yeah. - I'd love to walk your dogs. - It's impossible. They're in my freezer. - Oh. - Yeah, yeah. They're frozen solid. - Is that lunch? - No. - Oh. - Ariel. - Oh, you, okay. - When it's my time. - Cool. - Would you like to party? - I'm sober. - Who are you looking at in your house? (laughing) You keep looking over there in your house. Is there someone there? - No. - I'll be honest with you, sweetheart. Can I have your sweetheart? - Please. - Yeah. - My dad used to call me sweetheart. - Well, that's weird 'cause my dad's ghost is next to me. - Really? - That's what I'm looking at. - Who are you talking to? (laughing) Who are you talking to? - Yeah. That's him. - Who is that? - It's my dad. - Tell him I said hi. (laughing) Anyway. Anyway. - Bye. - No, no, don't go. What was your last relationship? - I was married. I was married for two and a half years. - Well, what happened? I mean. - We got a divorce. That was my third marriage. - You've been married three times, huh? - Yeah. - Kids? - Yeah. - Oh, how many? - I have four with my first husband, two with my second husband, and I'm pregnant right now. - Oh. (laughing) - Yeah, I got. - I'm out. - You don't want to be a dad? With me? - Seven kids? - Yeah, three different. - No, there's no way, no. - But they're all involved. - Okay, who's involved? The kids are involved with that. - No, no, the dads are all involved in their lives. They're all wonderful men. - Yeah, yeah, I don't want to meet them. - They're all NBA players. - Yeah, I have, you know, could be honest with you? - Yeah. - I had a girl that hit me up recently. - Are we talking to us now? Are we out of the bit? (laughing) - No, I'm telling the girl. - Yeah. - Who, you know what I mean? All her boyfriends were like NBA players and I couldn't do it. - Why? - Because it's like, you know, I don't know if it shrinks back, you know? - Oh, it does. (laughing) But I'm still interested in you. - I don't know, I don't know about it. - Bobby, you know how sometimes? - Yeah, I know if it shrinks back, you know? (laughing) - You know, sometimes you only want half a sandwich. - Yeah. - That's the kind of thing. stage I'm at right now. And you had some soup too. Have a soup. I would love it. You like creamy soup. I love. Okay. All right. With clams in it. Yeah. I got clams in mind. That is funny. That's when a girl goes from NBA players back to a regular guys. That is the order. Damn it. Hey, how you doing? Hey, hey, Tom. How you doing? I'm pretty good. Okay. Good. I got some nominous pizza. Well, you got one of those specialty pizzas. I got a special day pizza. This has a tailing sausage on it. Pepperoni a little bit of ham. Yeah. But the ham on this is the pizza. Yeah. The tailing sausage pepperoni ham. All beef sandwich. We need two layers of provolone cheese made. 100% mozzarella. Well, you know what I got? What do you got? Frank extravaganza, my friend. Do we got looney? No, don't check this out. I'll tell you what they got man, pepperoni and Italian sausage beef, fresh onions, fresh green peppers, fresh mushrooms, black olives, all sandwiched between two layers of provolone. And cheese made it with 100% real mozzarella. I'm a me. Yeah. And I'll tell you this, the guys love it too. Carlos, which is your favorite? What's your favorite dominoes pizza that we've had in this specialty one? Yeah. Spinach and feta. Spinach and feta. See, he's always looking out for his weight. He wants to have a thin little waist. Spinach and feta a little healthier. I like this spicy chicken and bacon ranch loaded up. Give it to me. Okay. Hey, bro, welcome to Hawaii, dude. Honolulu. Wakaliki. Wakaliki. Wakaliki. Wakaliki. Honolulu. Who I am, bro? The Honolulu. Who I am. I love it. Delicious. You're a big fan of pineapple on pizza. I love it. Never ending debate. But Bobby Lee loves Hawaiian pizza, especially the high. I also like did Pacific veggie did. Yeah, when you're all still healthier, don't buy the beach. Yeah, don't buy the beach. And I'm listening to sublime, and I want myself a pizza. I'm gonna get myself a Pacific veggie, dude. That's right, dude. Anyway, dude, do check out Domino's new specialty pizzas, you know, Domino specialty pizzas are delicious, a unique, and fun. And they got all sorts of new stuff. Like we said, the people's pizza, the luck, spicy chicken, bacon ranch, the ultimate pepperoni, Memphis barbecue chicken. They got it all. Plus Wisconsin, shout out to my old neighbors at the north with six cheese, Wisconsin. I didn't even know there was six cheese. Neither did I can only name four of them. Domino's has got them. So you got to try them out today. Order yourself some Domino's. Ketchup. Guys, this is my new favorite flavor from Ketchup. I mean, as you guys know, right? I'm a huge fan of this brand. Big time. I think that all of their flavors taste like what they're advertising. I think all the nutrients, you know, I mean, I feel so much better when I drink it, right? And this new flavor that I have is called chocolate mint. And I love it so much, all right? Tell them about the kachava. My job has 25 grams of 100 percent plant-based protein, including six indulgent flavors of chocolate vanilla chai, matcha coconut assay strawberry. And of course, that chocolate mint that is so very good. It's all the good stuff your mind and body need. I feel so much lighter, clearer, and healthier thanks to kachava. It's a whole body meal with plant-based protein that actually tastes delicious. 25 grams of 100 percent plant-based proteins, six indulgent flavors, chocolate vanilla chai, matcha coconut assay and strawberry dog. There's a lot of official flavors in there, no artificial coloring, no sweeteners, non-GMO, no soy, no animal products, no gluten and no preservatives. If you are looking to feel good and each good, your future self will thank you. Go to kachava.com and use the code bad friends for 15 percent off your next order. That's kachava k-a-c-h-a-v-a.com code bad friends for 50 percent off. I was scared coming in today. Me too, man. No, no, no, flying in today. Me too, man. Rain, I got scared. It was bad raining, dude. It was crazy raining and it was raining in clouds. I was leaving Phoenix for this storm that just passed and then coming into here and I was like, I hate it. I hate little baby planes in the sky. Did you go private plane? No, no, no, no. It was a, what do you call it, regional jet. You know, where it's like not a lot of seats and I was like, putty holly style. Oh, yeah. I got a little nervous about it. I hate that. I don't mind if I'm richy valentine. Richy valentine. Yeah, richy valentine. It died too. And the big bopper. The big bopper. Yeah, I don't know much about them, do you? I don't know anything about the big bopper, other than the name is fun. Yeah, but I know about richy and you know about richy valentine. Yeah, what do you know about them? I don't know anything. I saw the movie La Bamba. What do you remember about them? I remember he had a brother who was a cartoonist. Do you remember? Yeah. Yeah. Donna was the white girl in high school that he was in love with, right? And there was like, we couldn't get together because of racial discriminations from her family. Isn't that sad that the family would do that to you? Even he's a fucking rock star and they're like, no, no way. We got to bring that back. What? racial discrimination. But that's still kind of out there. Parents that don't let you date the other race, I'm sure. No, I mean, you know, you'll go to like dantanas. Yeah. Right. And you'll just be at the bar eating spaghetti. And then you'll go, you'll turn to, you know, me in a couple of Hollywood, Hollywood socialites. They're always there. They're always there, right? At that point. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you go, hey, what are you eating? They're like, hmm, they don't know you. What do you mean? No, I'm, I'm fucking you, man. No, if they knew you, if they knew you, no, I'm a human being dude. Just acknowledge my presence. They don't need to. You're at the bar dantanas. That's socialite expressed. If you didn't want that, go sit at the table by yourself. Okay. So you're begging for the attention. You want it. That's why you went up to, no, there was no seats that one time they went there. Oh, all we have is the bar. So I'm eating the spaghetti and go, hey, what's she doing? And they just completely ignore you didn't want to engage. That's, I think, you know, I mean, either, I don't know what to me. I always, you think that racism. That's not racism. You're a guy, they're a girl, they don't want to talk to you. You don't think that's racism a little bit? Not a dantanas, they know you got money. So if I was James, if I look like, if I look like James Franco, you think they'd still do it. Well, he's better looking. All right. It's based on. All right. It's not racist. Look, by the way, if you're Michael B. Jordan, they'd be talking to you and he's black. Okay. These are white girls. Benedict Wong. They would ignore him. No. All right, let me throw the names out. You throw a name. I'll tell you if the two white girls are talked. Okay. Esa Morales. Absolutely. Yes, they talk. They were talked to Esa Morales, even though he's barely his family. Yeah, he's handsome. Okay. When he was alive, Philip Seymour Hoffman. Did they know who he is or no? No. They know, no, they won't talk to him. Wow. Yeah. They don't know who Jack Black is. Jack Black, they'll talk to him. They know him. But if they didn't, they do. Everybody does. I know that's a tough famous. Yeah, that's a tough one. How about Jeffrey Jones? Yeah, probably. You know what that is? Yeah, probably. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, from Paris. Jeffrey Jones. The principal. The principal. Is he still in prison? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's out. He's at dantanas right now. Yeah. Yeah. He's probably working at dantanas. Yeah. What did you do this weekend? Oh, boy. Do you have a busy weekend? Oh, boy. Yeah. I'm doing a lot of special prep with Louis. Is he in town? Yeah. A lot of special prep. Our buddy, Louis Katz, who said we're going to sing a song. Are you writing the song? Yeah. We're writing the song. Is it the closer? Yeah. And then there's a whole another thing. I don't know if I'll give it away. But well, you don't have to. Yeah. There's going to be a little thing with my dad. How'd you get him? Yeah. Do you book him? No, I'm going to play him. Really? Yeah. That's fun. Yeah. This is going to be great. It's going to be a three-dimensional face of me. Really? Yeah. That's like a hologram on stage. And there's a conversation between him and I. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Did you write the conversation already? Yeah. It's done. Oh, I want to say it. And we tried it on stage in San Francisco. How was that? We had audio. So he had a button. So it's, you know, we pretended like he was there. Mm-hmm. And then I, you know, and we did it back. When he got laughs, it was good. Yeah. Did you cry? There's a crying thing in, like a little, like a moment in there. Wow. But yeah, I mean, all that, but it's, it's, there's, I don't know if you felt this, but I've never felt this much anxiety in my life. Like, even like technical things like, we got a DP. It's like, I don't know. I don't care. Well, that's why you hired people to take care of it. Yeah. Yeah. But they tell me about it. You know, I mean, set design this and that, you know, I mean, and it's, it, it causes me so much anxiety. I don't even know what, I don't know why. Yeah. You felt that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's nerve wracked. It's nerve wracked. It sucks. But I mean, yeah. You trust people around you. You hire, you hire, what you do, you hire good people who are talented that you trust, which we haven't done on this show, but we will get to it at some point. Yeah. Hiring talented people. But then you, they just do all the stuff that you, they have your vision in mind and you let them complete it. Yeah. And I think I picked the right director because he, um, this is his shot. Right. That's great. And he says, so now he's so like locked locked in and just on it. That's cool. Yeah. I mean, he wants it to be so good. So he's very strict with me. That's good. Yeah. That's what you want. Like, how come you did that joke tonight? I guess I really flushed out. Yeah. You have to do it. So he makes me do it. Yeah. You got to see this. I'm so glad that he's doing that. Yeah. Yeah. What a good journey. Yeah. It's a good journey. So you worked on it all weekend. Yeah. It's a, that and just a lot of video gaming. A lot of video gaming. Yeah. It's too much. Because when I'm in anxiety, you know, I, because I'm not masturbating. more to porn. So that's they're back there there goes that. Are you mass writing in general? No, to nothing. Now, why is that only alleviate me myself in front of women? She only enjoy you only. And that's rare. So it's like, I don't know if it alleviates the word, yeah, release. Release, I would say I would say any time your it's only ejaculating. It's only for sexual relations with with someone. What's it funny? Release. Yeah, release. Yeah, yeah, like their prisoners or something. No, yeah, yeah. Like I release the hostages from the gulag, release the prisoners from the gulag. But amount of the way I say they got to get out. Well, if you look at my sperm, they're they're they're they're wearing helmets and little swords. I mean, they're not they're fighters. Yeah, yeah, they're fighters. Yeah, yeah, the survivor. I'm here real. You look at mine. Some of them are sleeping. Well, bring some in. Yeah, so I'm thinking that one of the warriors will get in when I have a baby one day. Yeah, yeah. So that's my gut, Pat. You'll make a warrior. I think I have warrior blood in my in my. Do you? Yeah. Yeah. Is there a look up? Is there a history of a warrior with last name Lee by any chance? Because my great, great, great grandfather was the royal commander of the Korean army or whatever. Wow, Asian Lee. Yeah, Bruce Lee. Yeah, Henry Lighthorse Harry Lee. Yeah, dude. You don't know Lighthorse. Yeah, I know Lighthorse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know heavy horse a little bit better. But do Asian Lee, Bruce Lee outside it. Okay, zoom in. There's a very famous Asian warrior. The last name, Kurt Kurt Chu and Lee. The very first Asian commissioned officer in the US Marine Corps. No, for his heroics in the Korean war. Wow. So that's that's your well, no, I'll go back in the beginning, right? Excuse me, was Kurt Chu? That's a sneeze. Kurt Chu. Kurt Chu in Lee, right? Yeah. But you know that Kurt was his English name. Yeah, Chu. She probably chose it too. Kurt, they were like, Hey, Chu, get back in line, right? Garden me court. Maybe he like Kurt Cobain. Maybe. And that's why. Yeah, Chu. That's a good one. Is he still alive? Hit that Wikipedia. He's not. He died in 24. No, God bless you. God bless you, Kurt Chu. Thank you for your service. Look at how many men. Oh, my God. Look at all the metals decorated. Yeah, what you laughing, dude. I'm not laughing at him. You know, and I always found strange about the metals is just because this is like my OCD. Yeah, they're always on one side. I think they should be balanced. Why wouldn't it be symmetrical? Yeah, right? Wouldn't you have layers of metals on both sides that to me? But imagine if they could just place them wherever they wanted. That would drive you crazy. Oh, no, I think that'll look cool. Like one here, one here, one here, three in the back. I mean, it would drive you crazy. Looks like a NASCAR car. Yeah, yeah. I like it that it's clump together on one side. We're pretty close by the way for our military being sponsored by businesses, to where they're wearing jerseys with their names. All right, right. Like the military, like the Marine Corps sponsored by like tide pods or something or Chick-fil-A. Yeah, that's coming. You know, yeah, yeah. That's like Nashville's hot chicken. Can you zoom in at the metals, please? Yeah. It would be interesting over what who got sponsored. Yeah, there he is. Yeah, so what do you know what these metals mean? You know, I don't know what those are. Oh, do you got anyone in the room knows what they mean? Honor, valor. I think it's, I think it's for, I'm not even going to guess. I think like service during certain either times of battle or what what is find a guy who has the most metals. I want to see how deep it goes. His neck is just hanging. So heavy on his chest. Who's the military? Who in the military has had the most metal? The most awarded veteran, most decorated veteran on the jacket, though. We need to wait time out before you do this. Stop. You want to guess? I think I think it's Audi Murphy. I think Audi Murphy was the most decorated war veteran in American history. I may and that might be wrong. Audi Murphy. Wow. Wow. That's pretty fucking awesome. Can we see his. Whoa. He was the most decorated war. Isn't that amazing? He got the draggy kind. Like the like he should have a man bag with him. Yeah, yeah. For all those metals. But go to that photo right below in the colored one, the third row to the very far right. Jesus. Look at that. No, not that one. The far right when he's old. That's not him. That's another guy. Do that. But don't want to see that guy anyway. But click on that's Audi Murphy. Yeah, I don't like it when they're like, but does that, but that does like that. Well, they like what they little cubes. No, see, I think I think this is like the chiclet kind. This is little real metals. You like that? I like this. Audi Murphy. I knew he was the most decorated war veteran in American history. The only reason I know that is because I I've seen his house. How? He's he used to live in this neighborhood. This neighborhood right here in this neighborhood. No. Yeah. How do you how else would I know that weird fact? He used to have a plaque outside his house that said this was the home of Audi Murphy commission as it and historic site. The most decorated war veteran veteran American history. The house is no longer there. They ripped it down, but they kept this brick thing out front that says the most decorated war veteran. Wow. What you did? I 71. Oh, my when I was born, but he lived here in this neighborhood. That's incredible. So I was at the antennas last night and I was talking to this guy who has been there. This old man was sitting there. And he was like, a kid, a little comedy. I go, whoa, what's your name? I was Robert. I've been coming here since the 60s. And I go, what happened here? You can get whites, downs. You're in the blue pill right at this bar. You can get anything you want at this bar. Not anymore. No, no more. He used to get spaghetti and pollinate. That's all you can get. But like pounded chicken or whatever. But you know, I mean, yeah, back in the well down the street, man. Oh my God. You can get laid just by walking out. He's still living in the old times in his mind. Yeah. Back when Santa Monica, he could also, was he gay? No, no, no. Does this sound gay? No, no, this is, this is Steve McQueen, man. I mean, that's the, the gayest part of West Hollywood. It is in West Hollywood. Listen to my voice. Oh, I hear it. Yeah. And what did you chat with? And he had a, he had a, you know, they have this. Yeah, one bad eye. Yeah, but they're just, you know, man, a kid, you know, they always go your kid. Well, because you are to him to him. Yeah, he kiddo back in my day. Everyone sat here. I mean, like you name him. Yeah, Greta Garbo. No, like Flip Wilson. Oh, Flip 60s. Yeah, yeah, Flip Wilson. You know, I mean, and then they had guys that you didn't even know, but they were local legend. They used to come here all the time. Do you want to ride? Do you want to ride? You know, when he started to drive college, yeah, you know, you know, you know, the, you know, the tennis shoes, where you put the loops in the metal, the metal hole. That's him. Yeah, he put the metals in that, you know, I mean, and you're like, oh, I don't give a fuck. Did you ask what the man did for a living? Like, who was he? Was he a musician? What I do? I buy property for people. Commercial real estate. So you buy, I don't do risks. I don't do high risks. What does that mean? You use someone else's money? You broker them. I broker the deals. You broke it. This is what he told me last time. I go, at 80, you do that. Still do a kid. He wasn't smoking, but he's hitting it. He's hitting it. But he wanted to breathing machine. Yeah, yeah. And then a bunch of y'all, like 30 year old, you know, men for a college. Robert. They knew him. Yeah. And they all like hogged them. And I did a weird lab. I mean, why? I don't know why I got so nervous. Comfortable. Girls. Yeah, I did a weird lab. And he goes, see you later, kid. He had a girl on each arm. Yeah, and it walks out of the thing. And I go, can I have a speaking bowl of this? Do you have a white's reds or a blues? We just don't have the chicken. Yeah, just pound a chicken. Yeah, all right. Yeah, but that was, yeah, I love dantanas though. I don't ever eat there. Why? It's so cool in there. It's cool, but the food is not good. It's okay. If we're late night, it's okay. That's fine. This is so Hollywood. I mean, the reason why is when I first moved LA, I moved, I went to dantanas, and I couldn't even afford it, but I like I spent hundreds of dollars there. Yeah, because I just heard it was a legendary place. And I remember seeing Leo and all those guys there. Yeah, right. That was like their hand. And I never saw them again there. And now you can go. But now your Leo to someone else. It's funny because I remember the, when I first in the 90s, late 90s went to dantanas. Yeah, I wouldn't even be like it. It get in. That was it. Hey, you can't, you can't get in. But now like they kiss me on the cheeks and stuff. Who does? The host. The host kisses you on the cheeks. Yeah. Hey, Bobby. Welcome back. Meet Kenneth. Thanks for coming on the cheek. Did you bring that bag with you? You're going to make me mad about that. So Kenneth kisses you on the cheek. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good stuff online guy. You know, man, he loves your online stuff. Yeah. Yeah. And then, you know, and then I'll have like an old lady goes, young man, you do podcasts. I go, I do. If I've seen it, it's probably good. Wow. That's what she said. Right. But it's, yeah, it's got this old-timey, Hollywood-y, you know, man. Yeah, it's, oh, it's old school. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it is very old school. And it's, you know, I don't want to go out. We should go to together. I don't want to. Why? I don't like it. You love places like that. I do, but the food's got to do. The food's got to be that guy. The Taylor Swift guy. It goes that's the photo. Yeah, we wouldn't be caught that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's Dan Tana's look. That's what they all look like. Romer. Hey kid. This is. Come on guy. You love those places. I like good food. You go to I know, but it's okay. It's not good. All right. It's pretty basic spaghetti for Italian restaurants in L.A. Yeah, that that places for the hang. Yeah, but it's so close to the comedy store. It is pretty close. Right. And then, you know, it's a two minute drive. I go to night market before I go there. No. Okay. Better food. I don't even know what night market it is. Oh, right up the street literally up the street from where you're talking. It's open late. Yeah. Yeah. No one's ever brought me there to the night market. What? Yeah. You've never had night market. No. Oh, come on, dude. Try on sunset. It's up. It's literally up the street from what you're talking. And what time do they close midnight or one? No. Close that. Oh, it's Sunday. We're 10 o'clock on Sunday. Okay. But on a weekend, they close late. Yeah. Okay. I didn't know. Oh, you can take me there. I'll take you there. Because when you finish your shows, you never take me nowhere. I ask you all the time to go get food. But then you go, no, no, I'm going alone. You would you do that all the time? Yeah. Because where I want to go, you're not going to drive that far. How far? Like one time you came to the Kriotown. I love Kriot ago. Yeah. That's fine. We went to, um, Augusty Gulpchung. I'll go see. Remember you were there with who were you with? Your friend. Who? You know, it's so fucked up. My brain. I just I like, uh, I can't believe I just drew a blank when you're telling that story who I brought. I do the same thing now. We're you're getting old. Oh, yeah. Am I old? 42. 42. Yeah. What is that? Memory changes around 40. Yeah. Yeah. That sucks. I'm 54, dude. Yeah, but you have a better memory. Remember the girl is dating last night. Blue chew daddy old daddy system breaking down daddy needs some help around. That's why you have blue. Let me tell you something right now, right? 54 years old, right? Sexually active, all right? And sometimes you need me. I need a little help. I take blue too. I chew it. Tell them about it. Blue chew gold is the newest innovation from the number one chewable ED brand to send your grandpa's little blue pill. This is the 4-in-1 beast that is setting the gold standard for performance. We're talking two ingredients for blood flow to keep that rocket pump and mixed with epimorphine and oxytocin to turn up the arousal and connection in your brain and your body. Blue chew gold dissolves under your tongue and works in as little as 15 minutes. That's fast. That means you can get it on quicker and stay in the game longer elevation without hesitation. This is peak passion and peak performance in a single tablet. You want to get hard, stay hard and show them what you're working with. Yes. You got to get blue chew and we've got a special deal for our listeners. Get 10% off your first month. A blue chew gold with code bad friends. That's promo code bad friends. Visit bluechoo.com for more details and important safety information. We thank blue chew for sponsoring the podcast. I feel like my brain is going cuckoo shit. You know what it also is? The last couple of days haven't been able to get any fucking sleep. And I laid in bed, got horizontal last night. I put on my little heating pad. I got a little heating pad now. I'm getting old. I put on my little electronic heating pad near my tushy and then I got on my phone and started reading and I thought I'm going to be able to read and go to sleep. No, couldn't go to sleep. How many hours? How many, when was I up till? How many hours did you get last night? Three. Wow. That's so funny. I couldn't sleep. I got three two. Maybe you and I are on the same cycle. Maybe I'll the girls sync up. You and I are. Yeah, I got three two last night. I just couldn't get to sleep. And I was, you know, it's the worst is when you're so tired. Oh my god. I knew you need to go to sleep. I was exhausted and I took Trasadone, which is my dog tranquilizer. No, it's like a, it's a non-addictive. Just say yes when I say that. I say, I can't even yes and right now. I know. Got my wife just went to the doctor by the way and they offered her paint. He was like, oh, and also do you need pain medication? She was like, no. And I was like, you say yes. You always say yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's good to have for you for me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For the house. Yeah. For the house. It's like when you get pancakes for the table. Yeah. For the house. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Get drugs for the house. Just so when someone comes over, we got a little something to have. Yeah. I went out of the grocery store. What do I pick up every fucking time? Rice. I don't eat rice. But I have two Asians living in the house. You need it. You get the rice. Get the rice. Spam. Whatever they need. You get the rice. Yeah. Nuts. I love nuts. Yeah. Well, Filipinos. They love the nuts. Yeah. Well, they got a lot of nuts. Yeah. Yeah. So you like you you get it even though you're not kind of you would to be mindful about other people. That's right. Exactly. Pay attention. Pay attention. Pay attention. You have to be mindful about other people. I do that a lot. You do. You're very generous. Yeah. What did you guys do this weekend? Carlos went to the ice house last night. Hi, my under show. Hi, May had a show at the ice house and you went to support. Yeah. He doesn't come support us. You noticed that Bob? He does. He does. You knew Kim to support me last time. You come to support Bob. You go to Bob shows. At the comedy star. I've been there so many times. So many times. Yeah. Never for me. You knew who you see you a million times go up 20 years ago. Jewels. I also. Jewels came to the main room last night. Oh, she did. She's never been there. She's trying to get up, huh? No. She brought 10 people. What? Really? Yeah. It was crazy. I couldn't believe it. Wow. And I had to kill. And I walked by her table and she got you did good. She knows. Yeah. You've seen you before. Yeah, but she doesn't. She doesn't give it up. She doesn't. She that's not what she does. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's what I love about her. Okay. Can I can I tell you I send you a TikTok. You see it? What'd you send me? It's a 90s furniture, um, um, local, um, advertisement, um, commercial. It's something about it. It just made me feel so happy. Send it to him. I want to see it. Yeah. Yeah. Send it to who? The guy to put it up on the screen. Yeah. There's just something about like race, race relations that was the purest to pack then. The Andy's. Yeah. It's no, but it's a love, right? But it wasn't what it is now. And I want to go back to this time. I'm rich at AKB. I'm going to get the red house and I'm black. I like clubbing. I like clubbing furniture. It's a people's home. I'm Johnny, a K.E.T. Engage. I work at the red house and I'm white. I like deer hunting, bass fishing, and extending credit to all people. I'm black. I'm black and I love the red house. I'm white and I love the red house. I'm a black woman and I love the red house. I am white and the red house is for me. After red house. This has got to be a comedy sketch team that did this. No. It's real. Look at the sofa. It's perfect for a black person. All white person. This map is perfect for a white person or a black person. Big paws. They were guests on Tiger Belly. Like two weeks ago. This is not real? That's a sketch. This is like my dad sends me an AI video. I'm so embarrassed. This is like when my dad sends me an AI video of like Kobe cussing out someone in like a Sora video, you know. Jesus dude. Oh my god. I thought it was I knew that I was like this got to be a comedy sketch team. I thought this is a real like wow. Yeah, I mean but but but your but your innocence is good because it is a good commercial. Yeah, I would go to the red house after seeing this. Yeah. I go wow. They really got along. Like shaking hands. I was like this is great. This is good. It's good for progress. Yeah. I feel like a fool that don't. Yeah. Yeah. Please don't. I feel so embarrassed. I'm going inside myself again. Don't. Yeah. Yeah. Damn it, dude. I'm a fool. Are you sure? That's them. Couldn't be more sure. Okay. My bad. It's okay. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I'm excited for right now. I get to go home tonight and have my favorite soup. Let me get it. It's soup season dog. It's soup season now. Now that's a Chris bear. If you can see your breath in LA, it's soup season. Yeah. And I'm excited about soup season. Let me tell you about it. I'd even invite some of you pigs over because my wife cooks my favorite soup and we don't get it all year until now. Can I guess what it is? Yeah. Does it? Can I name the vegetable or that you can name the ingredients? Pumpkin. No, no pumpkin. Okay. Okay. District. I do not and I don't enjoy pumpkin. Is there squash in it? Nope. Okay. Split pea. Nope. Fuck. Try three. You're right. I love split pea. We let she makes zupa taskana noodles. No. No. No. Super. Look at it right there. Super. Taskana. She makes it good. Oh my god. It's like potato chunks. It's spicy, Italian sausage. Wow. Some people use kale. I don't like kale. Okay. But it's so good, dude. Yeah. And by the way, you pour that over a little bit of rice. For your people. Yum, yum, yum. Unreal. Yeah. I'll tell you. I had a wagyu bim, bim, bim, bop bowl last night for dinner. We'll be right back. - Wow. - Where? - At that place that I went to in Phoenix. - Wow. - In Bimba. - Bimba Bimba bowl. - And then the girl next to me goes, what is that? What is that? And I go, it's a Caesar salad. (laughing) It's a smoking bowl and she goes, what is that? Caesar salad. - But my favorite kind of Bimba has to be the hot pot. - Oh, dude. - It has to be that stone pot because the rice. - Crisp at the bottom. - Dude, you get lost. - I'm saying, dog. - And my favorite thing is doing you peel that off at the bottom. - Yeah. - And you get that crunchy, hard, crunchy. - Oh my God. - Name me some soups that you absolutely love and that you hate. - A cop soup for Bobby Lee. - Okay, for me is. - Tom Yum. - No, dude. - That's rude. - Sweet and sour. - No, dragon's breath soup. (laughing) - Dengjong Jige. - Dengjong Jige. - Yeah, yeah. - You've given me that. - Yeah, Dengjong Jige, I like. - Yeah. - Any Jige is kimchi or Dengjong, I like. - I like all the Jige, I like all the Jige. - Any Jige is I like. - Okay. - And then, for the Americana ones, I'm a big fan of, right? Judge me if you want. - No, no. There's gonna be some hot takes. - Sure. - But the chicken noodle soup from Airwon. - Oh yeah. - It's just chicken. - No, but with the sick noodles. - Oh, yeah, to have it in your fridge and as an emergency little meal. - That's your favorite. - It's good. - What's your favorite? - Carlo's. - Split pea, I'm not that with my favorite. - Sorry. - Yeah, excuse me. What? - Fideo. - Fideo. - A good split pea. - I don't like split pea. - Yeah. - Corn chowder. - I can go, if it's a 50/50. - Yeah. - But clam chowder with Tabasco sauce. - Oh, right. - Come on, baby. - I can't do clam chowder. - Yeah, why? - 'Cause I don't like clams in bull. - Okay. - That's what it looks like. They were like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. - I don't wanna do that. - Okay. - Clams are their own thing. - Yeah. - Like spaghetti clams? - Mine, if they're still in the shell. - Oh. - Yeah, spaghetti clams, you've taken them. - Bungoli. - Bungoli. - Bungoli. - Yeah. - But you do clam chowder? - I love it. - I wouldn't have pinned that for you a clam chowder guy. - It has to be like, you have to be in Seattle or where they do a good. - Oh, it's from New England. - Yeah. (laughing) - The opposite side of the country. - But Seattle has some good spots there. - Oh, it's gotta. It's just seafood. - Yeah, port town is what I'm saying. - Yeah, I know it's from New England, right? But I'm saying, you know what I mean? I've never been to New England. (laughing) So the other port town I've been to is in Seattle. - It's still the same. - All right, so I don't like the judgment. - Get me that Sacramento clam chowder guy. (laughing) - I don't like mozzarella soup. It's bullshit. It is lump in the middle to get the fuck out of here. - But if you get the extra isn't it, it's good. - What is that? - If you go to like, canters or something, you can get noodles in it. - Yeah, but then just take the ball out, then it's chicken noodle soup. - I like the ball. - What do you do with that thing? - You don't eat that, that's a lump. - I know, but it's like, you know, cosmetic. - I hate it, look at that thing. - Like big ball in there. - Don't need it. It's taken up space. - Yeah. - It's like when a couch is too big for a small living room. You're like, what? You don't need this. You gotta go out in the love seat and go out in the way with it. - I don't like carrots, but I like carrots in soup. But I also like carrots how the Mexicans do it. They pickle it. - That's my favorite. - Whatever, what do they call it? - No, they pickle it. - Yeah, they pickle that. - But it has jalapeno pickle too. - Pickled the whole thing. - Pickled onions. - Pickled vegetables, dude. - Whatever that is, dude. (speaking Spanish) - That's very Spanish. (speaking Spanish) (speaking Spanish) - I love it. - That I do love. - Yeah. And I love, I had breakfast. You ever go to the griddle? - On sunset? - Yeah. - No, I went there one time. The pancake place? It's got like a line down the block, doesn't it? - And with her today. - You went there today? - Incredible. - With pancakes? - Dude, I got a, no, I got a french toast with fruity pebbles in it. - Oh my God. - They're fruity pebbles. - You're really fist-fighting that will govie, huh? (laughing) - Yeah, yeah. I got that. - That's instant. Bobby. - Yeah. - Dude. - That's crazy. That's like a chug. - I know, but I shared it with my friend. - Oh, okay. - Your teeth are gonna fall out. - So what I always do is when I go to a breakfast spot with a friend, you know what I mean? I'll go, we share one sweet, but we get our separate things. - Yeah. - I mean, we can share that, too. - You get a dish. - Right. - Yeah. - 'Cause you don't eat the whole thing. It's just like two or three bites. But that thing, dude, that's too sweet for me. - Right. - And syrup on top of that? - No. That, whatever that cream is, is the thing. - Oh, that's. - I refuse to do extra. And then I got a Chicago scramble that was really good. - What was it? What's in there? - Oh, it's down in peppers and sausage, you know? - So over here, Chicago scramble. Daily sausage, peppers. - Tell you so much as peppers. - That's good. - Yeah. - Diabetes. - Diabetes. - Chicago. - You're on a sketch show, huh? (laughing) - Oh, dude, when they said, you got the job. - Yeah. - I went, really? What do you mean, you're a great actor? - No, what I'm saying is is that you don't think that I was bewildered that I got on a fucking sketch show? - No, you're hilarious. - I didn't know how to do anything. - Well, you just don't do impressions. - Or accents. Or anything. What the things that you need to do in a sketch show? - Dude, dude. - No, but you do characters. - I can do characters. - Yes, you can do. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You can do something. - That's what sketch shows are, a great character. - Yeah, man, dummy. Good to see you, man. - Stuff like that. - Yeah, that was good. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm a viral. Hello, welcome to my castle. (laughing) - Those are the unhaired ones. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - They didn't really make enough of stuff. - No, I didn't. - And I'm, I'm, I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm me. - You know, you know what, there's you. (laughing) - What? - It's your eyes. - My eyes are what? - Well, you tell a lot in the eyes through comedy and that's what hinders you. - What do you mean? - Your eyes. - What it, oh. - Because when you do a character, you have to like, see you do that when you go to like a different guy. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You have to physically change your eyes. - I have to physically change my eyes. - Yeah, like be a guy from the south. - What? - Be a guy from the south. - How are you doing, man? - See what I mean? (laughing) Okay, be a guy from New York. - Aim. - Get a bite. - See, look at your eyes, you change. - Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. - You do, you change your eyes. - I make my eyes wider. - Yeah, you make white eyes. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - And it looks like you're gonna put eye drops in when you do that. (laughing) - I think you're right. You change your eyes. - It's in your eyes, dude. - Whoa, dude. - But the comedy is where. - Yeah, in your heart. - It's in your heart? - Yeah. I saw Frankenstein. - Hot Frankenstein, you see it? - I know, but every time I see a clip on TikTok that makes me laugh of a guy who's correcting people. Have you seen that guy when he's like, "Yeah, actually, Frankenstein's monster." Frankenstein is just, (laughing) it's a great clip. There's been a couple of them out there. - Yeah, yeah. - That's Hot Frankenstein? - Yeah. - Come out. - Frankenstein's supposed to be hideous. - I know. - The whole point was to say something, though. - I thought the same thing, but there was all those hoopletes. And I'm like, "Hatagra is a great, you know what I mean?" Do you see it, McCone? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Who is a Guillermo? - Yeah, Guillermo. Oh, it's gonna look fucking amazing. - Yeah, so I watched it because of that, right? But I have to say, I had really great empathy for him. - For Frankenstein's monster? - Yeah, for Frankenstein's monster. And it was the first time I saw anything Frankenstein where I was just like, I felt so, such sorrow for him. - You've seen the original. - I did. - Yeah. But this Frankenstein is pretty good. - Here's what bothers me about this. - What? - Because for years, all of us, everyone in this room, when we were kids, you thought Frankenstein was the monster. And then you get old enough, and you see it, and you go, "Oh, that's Frankenstein's monster." It's what he's called. Yet, societally, we still call that guy Frankenstein. Like on a Halloween shirt, it'd be like Frankenstein. It just would, why didn't they just give that guy the name Frankenstein and then call him Doctor? - Yeah, that's right. - Like at some point, I switch it up. - Yeah. - It was such a weird thing. Also, if you're gonna keep his name Frankenstein's monster, give him a different name. - Yeah. - If Frankenstein was gonna be called Frankenstein, name-- - Give Frankenstein to-- (imitates gunfire) - God, you were so close. - That's it. (imitates gunfire) - He didn't make it through the-- - Yeah, give me another shot. - Frankenstein. - Yeah, yeah. - Argonfuck. - Argonfuck. - Yeah, yeah. - Argonfuck. - Argonfuck. - Not fuck. Don't say fuck in the name. - Oh, yeah. - Argonfuck. - Argonfuck. - Fuck. - He's Swedish. - Argonfuck. - Argonfuck. - Argonfuck. - Right. - And this is my bride. - Who is your bride's name? - Bride of Argonfuck. - No, okay, that's-- (laughing) I like that. So he was hot. - You're worth seeing this thing? - Yeah. - Yes. - You saw it? - Yeah, it's awesome. - It's so awesome. - I think it moved me. - You know. - You have to. - I just haven't been to the movies in so long. - Yeah. - I gotta go, I just haven't been-- - I mean, it's no predator badlands, but it's very good. - Now you see me, now you're done. It's also out. - Oh, yeah. You were in it. Congratulations. - Thanks, man. - Yeah. - And people said I like it. People like it. - Now you see me? - Did you see it? - I haven't seen it. - Did you see yourself in it? - No, yeah, I mean, I guess I'm in the first scene he said. You saw it. You went to go see it. Are you a fan of the franchise? - Not really. - Okay, good. - You saw for Andrew. - Yeah. - Shut up. Why did you go to see it? - I saw it for you. The same way that I saw. - Borderlands for me. Yeah, yeah. Not in the theater though. - You see everything. - Oh, you did? - What's now you see me got around to me. - I walk out of both of them. (laughing) - 59. - 59. - 59, we're cruising. - Yeah. What is Borderlands at now? - Oh, but audience scores 81. That's way better. I'll take audience score all day. I'm gonna go see that movie that I was supposed to go see it and I couldn't have even out of town. 10. - 10. - 48 though, popcorn meter 48. - Yeah. - So the movie you didn't finish it, you walked out. - It's okay, one of those movies. - Yeah. The original, yeah, I've seen, I mean, I've only seen the first one. - Right. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Zoom in there. Jesse Eisenberg, how incredible. The rest of the cast, magic. How amazing, Roseman Pike. But Andrew Santino stood out as a complete dud. (laughing) Am I really in the first scene? - Yeah, first scene. - Oh wow. - Wow, that's cool. - Maybe I'll just go to see it and then. - And leave? - Wow, no, I'd see the movie, I wanna see it. - Yeah, I'd love to see it. - We should go as a family. - We should go and watch it, support you. - I had a guy come up to me and say, "Yo, bad friends." I was like, "What's up, man?" And he's like, "Yo, I used to fucking hang out. I used to skate with Stevie." - That's so funny. - It was fucking awesome. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I was like, "Oh, really, Stevie Lee?" He's like, "Yeah." He's like, "Tell him I said, "What's up?" It was the first time someone talked to me and not asked about you. - Yeah, that's cool. - It was cool, 'cause we went back, we went back to like, you know, old little spots, Sean Malto, my buddy Sean was with me. - Yeah. - And we were just out with a bunch of young skate dudes. - Phoenix? - Yeah. - 'Cause that's what my brother went to ASU. - I know. - He was skating a lot there, yeah. - I went there too. - Yeah. - But we were with a couple of young skate dudes and one of the dudes was like, "Yo, I used to skate with Stevie Lee." And I was like, "Oh, that's, that's red." But it was so cool, 'cause nine times out of 10. - Yeah, it was Bobby. - Yeah, yeah. - It was Bobby too, yeah. - They wanna know where you are. - Yeah, you two. - No, they never ask you about me. - Are you out of your mind? We're sentino. - That's not what they said. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I can't even talk by the way you said that right now. - Hey, we're sentino at. - I go, he's not here, he's in, you know, somewhere with Taylor Swift. - Okay. Oh, what are you gonna get me for Christmas? Do you have my Christmas gift? - Get me a real gift. - No, no, no. - I got you a real gift. - Did your wife tell you that I called frantically for weeks? - She did? - She couldn't think of one. - I know, but you. - And I couldn't think of one either? - You don't have a wife. - I didn't get to call anyone. I didn't figure it out of my own. - I know, but you have the world. What do you give somebody that has the world? - What are you talking about? - In their fingertips. - You have everything. - You know, they have that. - They have that. I still found something for you. I still found something. - Yeah, but it's like, they're-- - No, 'cause I'm creative and I care. You don't care. - All right, I'll get you. - Oh, you don't need to tell me. - Yeah. - But you better get me something good. - Tiger Woods rookie card. - A rookie golf card. - Yeah. - I mean, I don't know what all. It's like, how do you-- - Like, I thought about this. Can we make this deal when it comes to you and I? - We don't give each other gifts. - No deal. - We get each other. - No, no, no. - No deal. - No deal. - I want it. - No, I'm out dog. - Please, it's too much. I spend time thinking about it for too much. - All right. I'm calling. - You're right. - You and I just have a handshake. Like, hold it. - That's fun. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm fine with it. I'm fine with that. It's a let down. - How, why? - 'Cause I've always thought gifts are fun. I got you, though. Shoes you never wear. They're still under the desk. (laughing) There's Arsenal shoes. They're under there. They've never moved. - Yeah, yeah. - Other side. - Can you imagine how many young kids would love to have those shoes? - And thank you. I want them there. Why can't I place the presents that I receive where I want, you know? - Well, it's not a painting. They're shoes. - I know, but I want them down here by my other feet. (laughing) - You have two feet down here? (laughing) Give another set of-- - No, by my feet. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, my feet look said. I'm like, what's up? - Oh. - Yeah, yeah. I just want them there. Why can't I place the fucking presents where? - They're fewer shoes. - Yeah, yeah. - Okay, say right now, things that you want, and then I can have a direction to go. - Okay. - All right, so tell me now. - Peace in the Middle East. - All right, so I'll give you money to give to them. - Okay. - To a cause or something. - Okay. - That's what we did with your birthday. You, some of the money gives it the cause. - To the cause. - That's right. - What else do I do? - Give me something tangible, like something physical I can buy, an item. And if you throw it out there, or throw a bunch of things out there, then I can, like, you know, you know what I mean? - A lufa. - Okay. - Okay, I need a new lufa. I want a foot massage machine. - Okay, now we're getting somewhere, dude. - I want a Toto Japanese toilet. - Okay, this is good. This is good. This is good. - You buy me a Toto. - No, already with all three things that you just mentioned, I already know exactly what I'm gonna get you. - Okay, good. - You know what it is? - What? - Nothing. (laughing) - I want to hide, I'll tell you what I really want. - What? - More than anything in the world. - What? - Is for you and me to actually, next year, make a movie. - For real. - But that's not a birthday gift. There's nothing I can give you. - Christmas gift. That's something that we have to do together. - Do you not believe in the miracle of Christmas? - I do believe in the miracle of whatever that holiday is. Of course I did. - I mean that holiday. - I don't know much about it. St. Nicholas, there's presents, there's a rooftop. (laughing) There's little horses on the rooftop, whatever. - I get it. - I understand the North Pole, the Ls. - You know what they call him in Britain? What they call Santa Claus? - James. - Father Christmas. - Oh father Christmas. (laughing) - That's his property. - There's a lot of English people I may name James. - James, that's true. - Yeah, yeah. So it's like, I just threw it out there. - Father Christmas. - This, father Christmas. - Yeah. - What are you guys getting us for Christmas? - What do you guys want for Christmas? - I'm gonna keep your jobs. - Look at, what do you guys want? What do you want for Christmas? For real. - Gucci chain. - Fucking Gucci chain. - All right. Thank you. - Your wish is granted. - Okay, what about you, my cone? I've always wanted an original pressing of Stakes's High, the day last soul album, because on the repressed, they removed all the original samples. So a first pressing of that. - You're such a nerd. - Okay, the first pressing of what? Day last soul's what album? - Stakes is high, they're 96 release. - Okay. - Okay, then I'll go with a car. - Okay. - Original Stakes is high. - You sure what he just said? - Yeah. - You want a new car. - It could be used. - What kind of car? - The Tesla. - What, the Tesla 3? - The truck. - The. (laughing) - Cyber truck? - It's not a truck, no. - No, the Y or whatever. - Well, there's two SUVs, there's the X and the Y. Do you know which one you like? You like the one with the goal wing doors? The ones with the doors that. - The one. - Yes. - That's the Y, right? - Yeah, that's the big one. - It's expensive. - Yeah, they're over it. - No, no, that's X, right? - Or maybe it's the X one has the doors. What is the goal, there it is. That's the Tesla Model X. So that's the big one. You sure that's the one you like? - No, okay. - What else are you willing to do? - Based on the job that you have, you have to do it a little extra. - Okay. - Yeah, yeah. - I just wanna have a Christmas dinner with you guys. - No, no. (laughing) - I rather not. - I'd rather buy you a fucking new car than your food with you. (laughing) - That's so funny. I'd rather buy you a new car than eat food with you. All right, so we got the Christmas gifts. You want a car, you want a Gucci chain, and you want to print it an album. An album that we have to. - What's a Gucci chain, man? - Like a chain from Gucci. - Oh, like a necklace. - Yeah, like a gold chain. - Okay. - You shouldn't be that surprised you. We're in purses. (laughing) - Thank you for being a bad friend. (upbeat music) ♪ Woo ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ Woo ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ Woo ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪