Fancy Cereal! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Hey, hey, hey, Cleveland, Ohio the boys are coming soon talking to you like what I'm talking to you Ohio City Everybody from this rounding areas come out and see the boys at Alarities play a little AYG with the crowd and we'll stand up comedy Yeah, we're also in Pittsburgh at the improv get your tickets. They're moving quick. We'll see you there. We love you Hey Everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is our you garbage That little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that if they group to be clear see or if they're just a big ol piece of trash I'm your host a trolley coming at you on a beautiful day fake. I got the big man We're out here at Toddy's in a new edition. She just got busted for the third time Stealing packages off the neighbor's port. She's it's becoming an issue Wait, does this mean you've done that joke to other times. No, okay You see what I'm saying for the ninth time. I'm gonna tell you to see. That's pretty good though I could start doing that. Thank you. Well folks look for that about four months. I'll be the fourth time I'd be crazy. I put my foot down my coach coming in from across the table ladies and gentlemen We call a family episode. It's just the boys the bozos and homies just to where we like it circle in the wagons hanging out family friends unity togetherness Kevin Ryan What's what's it called a mr. Jet lag? You get it worse than anybody I know because I'm moving and shaking all right. Take it easy. You're used to sleeping 18 hours a day What up gang shout out to you as always make sure you rate review subscribe and I've done full video available You do full video of album spotify and then obviously patreon dot frickin calm the best website in the world I've seen from the rafters. It's changed our lives. You can go over to get all that frickin bone I you're probably center going how much bonus content could there be it's more than you're thinking and maybe I might be overwhelming So it's not then then it's not too much. Mm-hmm take it one day at a time. Don't want to scare you back one day at a time Uh-huh, so they're telling me my buying it yet. I'm telling me it's the telling me you know what? Um, I've really learned to appreciate in this life Friends Hello shit. It's camaraderie. Uh, I've been spending a lot of time on the phone lately different agencies associations businesses things like that. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh, okay And that's what the Shriners I could tell you that. Uh, that's what you appreciate. No, no, I hate that. Okay, but what I do appreciate Is the callback feature very nice if we can do that If we can do that, mm-hmm, ladies and gentlemen. What is the problem out there? Yeah, we can do that Civilized, mm-hmm, who the fuck thinks you want to sit there? I was on the phone. I was on a whole day today and they goes the guy said Why you're on hold we're gonna play a little music? I don't like that. It's like hey man unless you're dropping Skinnered on me sure or something. This is live music. Are you gonna play me a little diddly? Then I'm in hit me with the iceman Huh, at WNBA that Drake? Okay, you know, you know, you know, listen to the albums Guys hot now I'm out sings for the bro you're right on Drake. I'm out of music and everybody really holy shit Guys losing it. I am dead, but why Kevin why what why you losing it? Uh, you know good guy Beautiful family, uh-huh callback features, huh? What more do you need in this light? What more do you need? No, I'm good. I'm good. I'm just uh, yeah You know if we can do that the possibilities I think are endless That's such a good thing nice thing. I don't know how to do it. I agree a big fan of it Huge fan. Mm-hmm. It's fantastic And that's hey trolley's roundup for this week. I just wanted to share that with you. Thank you. Very welcome. I appreciate that It's very nice. Yes. Problem. Uh, it's a good thing It's all I'm saying. It's a good thing. I agree that we can get there. Where else can we go? Uh, right. I got something. I got a little um thing. I have a little diddly. Uh, I'd like to show you Little d-little ditty whatever Not pee ditty little d-little d-little is you touching my balls and my penis white sauce. That is little that's diddlin Diddlin I always assumed diddlin is soft uh pee got a little ditty though Do you see that video? Oh man the video dropped what video? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's his sex video. Who sex video? Yours and everyone's making fun of how red your balls are Hey Um, who's video Hey, TMZ. Yeah, what is it? What do you hold that information for? I'm not first of all not holding out any information. You want to answer me? P did he has a sex tape back? Yeah That's the least of his problems Who's he with? A guy and a girl. My man Okay, I don't know. I mean what do you want me to get in the details? I didn't see the stuff. I'll check that out later sure Now you're gonna be distracted for the rest of the All consensual. I hope. Yeah, but it's all like in that red lighting. It's oh, it's so creepy I didn't Goddamn family show you. Yeah, look what you're doing. Yeah, yeah, bringing this up. I got fully hard. No. Yeah, you're not soft. No, no, no, yeah, ready for diddlin I got something I want to show you the screen's not just set up so I'll I'll show you on my Laptop laptop your laptop because that's where the scientist bring your computer with you when you went overseas Uh-huh, you did huh? Yeah, someone's got to run the business so work. Yeah, it's good. I was okay. That was busy here Uh-huh on the phone on old callback features So you weren't that busy. I'm saving the company time I had to charge you time in a hand though The holiday weekend um Now this is uh, this is from like uh, I guess he's like a social elite etiquette kind of guy and and I'll play it and you can you know, I think there's a few things to unpack Okay, right, but I'll play it for you and then was just directed at me. No, okay I have to ask why? Because I'm defensive. Yeah, but I don't know. Yeah. Okay. No, it's not okay. It's fodder for the program that we do This isn't a personal attack on you. Yeah, fucking do a show. You're weird up man. You need to put a howler How many times have you seen your therapist to see him once a week double it? doing well Okay, doesn't exist. It's not about me, is it am I in that sexy? He's their freaking out I wasn't dare. I was walking down his street. He said he can I hold the boom like I didn't know it's gonna be that kind of He said do I want? I'm trying to make it in show business. I was working freelance Well, hey, whatever I do outside the studio is my time. I'm a lot of work on side project Hey guys, I don't know living right? He's great. I got the entire smundami breathing down my neck. I gotta pay my bills Not to mention a few bad short-term investments All right, whatever so here. Let me play it for you. Okay. Well nice nice British chap. Oh, I noticed dude. Yes, dude's all right Yeah, this guy's all right. He's got a pretty popular podcast. It is kind of funny because it's like the opposite of ours Excellent. It's like him and a dude him and another dude who were like How to do things right kind of and yes, they just think it's the complete different perspective. Let's get him in here That's not bad. Oh Sorry, and then what's Odee stand? All right Oh hold on didn't you work for the queen? Why don't we just set it up on the TV? Just take a minute and throw it together. Can we? Yeah And do the magic of podcasting we are back are we that quick with video cape abilities Which was my idea my suggestion I was gonna lead it in tow. I'm working. Okay, man, you're really All right, let's see. Let's let's let's let's a British chap. Mm-hmm. Hi, British. It's first of all not that cock thing that you though This guy's just I think he's guy worked for the Queen or something. It's about a real eating cereal at a restaurant Which is first of all we'll get into it, but just that's what it's it's the etiquette of how to eat cereal at a restaurant So interesting I don't know Benningons. That's a fancy joint. Uh-huh. That's pewter. You know pewter All right, let's see That show business that show is how to break first cereal first of all adds your milk of choice I'm going for semi and then with a spoon held in your dominant hand And the fork in your non dominant hand fork would eat now. It's not soup So you don't need to scoop away from you like you would with soup But you can use the fork to push some corned flakes onto your spoon and eat accordingly What the fuck that crazy guy we're doing too much first of all who's going out to a restaurant in order in cereal and a joint like that I'm getting a steak Sure steak an egg something or one of those bangers and mansions that they got over there. Yeah Obviously, I mean to me you'll call him the flakes Anytime we went out for breakfast. How about you kick ropes now? I'm we I'm not about getting cereal out for breakfast. You can do that at home. I've seen it done I'm not saying I had a diner. Yeah, they give you a little box. It stinks. Yeah, it stinks. Hey, yeah, go listen here's 20 run to the store run to the ac me get me a big box of frosted flakes come back We'll do it that way. Yeah, what's semi luke? Do you know that with the semi when you refer to as the milk is semi? No, that may be like a little bit of fat low fat. Yeah, probably Percent something like that. That's screaming cold semi skim milk semi skim milk. That's your first mistake What you want whole when you're going in flakes and you want to get about a table two table spoon sugar You want to sprinkle it on and you mix that up. I remember doing that with special cake. It works and It's all down at the bottom and you get that just was I it felt bad. It just felt wrong Yeah, it didn't feel right. Well, what are you looking for? Don't you want to do something and feel bad about it after this guy and teach him everything phone apart man Two things one this guy's a dick. I mean he seems like a nice guy We just live in different worlds. Of course. He's got a pretty good drink array there He's got a coffee's got an orange juice and he's got what looks to be a water. I think that orange juice is fresh squeeze Yeah, yeah, also. How do you feel about those bowls? Get the fuck out of you. I hate them. Is that's how I feel about the lips bigger than the bowl? It's crazy That's nothing. That's a rich guy shit. Yeah, that's a serving if that's a serving. I'm in trouble but To me would be a dirt bag like this I see get a dirt bag would order He's also not getting the milk on there too. We are rummaging that that well I think they look at it as I don't know I mean, I don't know. I'm not I'm not British, but ours turns into more of like a soup What are cereal? Yeah, yeah, you mix it up. You know what I guess I don't think they do that I think it's more of like a it's a true. They moisten it. Who says that his guys you will Well, this guy's eating with a four this guy's not indicative of the British guy that works down at the fucking You know the fucking fish market. I was shouting a Boat of corn flakes. You think that guy's going out to breakfast in order in cornflakes. You think he's got fucking no The house probably puffs. I mean puffs whatever they eat over there. What's a popular British cereal jacks? About a union jacks, mate What's some of that semi Little bit of soap. I put salt. Okay, brown sauce. I love that. Uh, yeah, I don't know. I mean It's all like weed of bicks shreddies crunchy nut shreddies weed of bicks. I caught him right there He was eating his shreddies. I put the gun. He was mad. I pulled the trigger What do you want this shenan for something? We get it. You can you can say 14 words. I could why you out there you 13 what you just start counting I mean look yeah, I don't know. I like what I like this guy's got some good pointers But if you're I first of all you're a fucking bozo if you're ordering cereal at a restaurant Any restaurant let alone a restaurant like that then you're eating it with a fork like a fucking dickhead I notice guy. I like this guy style. I've learned some things from him But I'm not having been doing I get that but it's too much It's too much I agree it's cereal come on. You can't who the fuck will you meet with? Can't eat cereal like a normal person. I didn't what did he say you don't have to go towards you because it's not I didn't realize that the Super supposed to go away Fuck that go away. Yeah, trying to get my lobster bits in there for my bits Who you put you can't get a good you can't get a good hook on it. No, imagine doing chili like that like an asshole My mother would have me commit it air my rotator Fuck at a carpal tunnel. I'm having a bowl of chili. Uh, yeah, no, I'm not all about that But it also respect him. Mr. William Hanson. Yeah, shout out to him. He's doing gentleman, and there needs to be The the yin ta or yang, you know what I mean? Mm-hmm Light to our darkness From the windows to the walls Who's that? The sweat drops down our ball. That's a great yin gang twins. You don't know what that mean? Oh, these females grow Well, you don't know the yin gang twins. No, what do you mean? Love black and dirty? What's it called? Oh, I don't know. I don't know What's it called black and yellow? No, that's a whiz califa. Is it really black and yellow black and yellow? That's whiz califa. Yeah, I like him. What else do you know from he's saying that somebody? He's married to Rihanna Mm-hmm. That's Fettie Wap You're fatty while It's no who's that a sap rocky date Rihanna got a kid with her nice kid. Good kid. Good looking kid That is he needs what? What's the kid's name yin gang twins? You don't know the yin gang twins. No, who's the other kid? That I said black and yellow. You didn't say whiz califa whiz califa. Now he's a producer, right? No, no There's a rapper. I know he's a rapper, but doesn't he produce a lot of stuff. I'm sure he's got a lot of hobbies. Yeah, I like that kid cutie Drake it's great. Yeah, they're all they're all fantastic ice man. Mm-hmm. WMBA favorite song right now. Shout out to it Got to get in there, kid. Lock going on out there. Okay. I don't know what's going on I don't know the yin gang twins. That's crazy. I didn't listen to hip-hop back then From the windows to the walls To the sweat drop down the club once in a while. They go. Oh, these females grow. I've heard it in the club every once in a while Also great scene from that proposal The proposal you might enter it. What the what's the proposal? I mean, did I leave for is that a Jennifer Hudson movie? You guys are all like shambles Sandy Bullock. Yeah dog Ryan Reynolds early Reynolds He's like our intern takes her to a wedding. Yep. Then he ends up doing her. No, they got to get married because she's from Canada He's from Alaska. Listen, is she a hot piece? Isn't it ain't that a beautiful girl? Yeah, oh, do you yeah? Yeah, you ever see speed? The bus do you speed The girl from the movie on the bus All right, listen, we get listen You and that is some business here. You had to eat cereal. What are we doing? Yeah, that is guy Second is guy. Get set with I what I brought to the table you brought up the callback feature I only brought up the video because your thing went absolutely nowhere. I disagree with that I think a lot of people relate to that Appreciate the callback feature I think it was a 14-second segment that you then I tried playing along with you and yeah, that's all I got you ended it Still plugging patreon you were wrapping it well the phone also like you can put it on hold until they until they're ready for you Which is nice hey bill gates anymore tips Right Guys, we got a guy starting family episode on our hands as you know when you do the old patrony Well, I answer your garbage question on the mother frigging air from the windows to the walls I Appreciate that kind of talk from Luke's favorite movie That's crazy. I like I mean I like it. I don't like I'm losing him though I really turned on him and I love that movie and I love Waiting I love early head that I just I can't yeah, I think I can't with him. He does rocks I mean he's got one note. Oh 100% but that's the that movie is his note sure Hey, what that free guy has a hell of a picture now is a fun one too fun one you don't know You don't know do you do what do you do man? I don't know What do you do a lot of stuff? Mount about Meeting people hanging out filming videos filming videos. Did he was a segment. Oh, my god segment He gets so nervous, huh? You check out he you fall down your your pit of shame and it's in the rope the lats are down to pull you out Who you Brandon Tartikov talking about segments was a segment. It was a bit we did Brandon Tartikov. Yeah the comic from Jersey. No The open mic President of NBC during must see TV engineered Seinfeld Cosby show Favorite show growing up who's America's dad. I didn't know what you want from me Ladies gentlemen callback features More to 11 Kevin take the segment away Yeah, but it's talking about ultra sleep pouches. Oh, I'm getting a little little tie tie thinking about it Well, no, you're not. That's why I need ultra sleep pouch. I mean, is she questioning of trouble sleeping at night? Yeah, yeah Do you wish you could fall asleep faster? Obviously who doesn't sleep deeper and wake up with without groginess? Uh-huh Is your sleep score lower than what you'd like to be on your uh your whoop your or ring your apple watch or whatever? Of course Then do yourself a favorite dumb ass and get over and get ultra sleep pouches, baby Get a great night's sleep. Yes. The idea behind it is genius Everyone uses pouches for increased focus energy, but ultra took that idea and flipped it Flip a row Uh, the pouches to help you wind down fall asleep and stay asleep and the great thing is they use Just six clean research back ingredients. We're talking about a mill 1 milligram of melatonin, dosed at the clinically optimal range so that you're not overdosing and feeling groggy the next day. El Thyanine reduces anxious thoughts while falling asleep and help you feel refreshed when you wake up. That's my biggest problem. I shut in the machine down. I put my head on the pillow good. Oh my god, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You're my life's belief in it. - Your life, your mom, your mom, your mom, your mom. Magnesium, relaxes muscles. - Can I have a meal, session, flour? - Oh, you're coming, bomb, extracts. - You know, okay. - It's very easy to use. Just place one in your mouth before bed and you're ready to sleep within 10 to 20 minutes, baby. Help you fall asleep fast or longer. Hold nine yards. Improve your sleep score, baby. Oh, just sleep. Pouches deliver better. Deeper sleep with properly dosed and natural ingredients. New customers can use the code garbage. You get 15% off at takeulcher.com. That's takeulcher.com for 15% off with the code garbage. And after you purchase, they're gonna ask you where you heard about them. Please support the show and tell them to voice it and you do it. - Yeah. - Kippie, it's Brunt time, baby. - Brunt, Brunt. - Let's talk about Brunt. If I'm not mistaken, we got a shipment coming to the job site over here. Post hastes. - Yes. - Am I right? Am I right? Am I right? Am I right? - You're right. Gang, do yourself a favor. We're talking about comfortable. Reliable, durable, fashionable. Brunt workwear. - Yes. - Okay. Do yourself a favor. Get over to get yourself straightened out. Talking about a couple of boys in the industry put this together. They know what it means to show up on the job site to be ready to go. - Prepared. - Prepared. - Comfortable. - Yes. - Support, safety. All it at. It's blue collar boots for blue collar. Guys, make my blue collar, guys. What are we talking about? - Whoa. - That's what it is. - That's extra. - All right, so reserve Kippie Industries. Guys, founder, Eric Gerard grew up blue collar and started Brunt workwear after his friends and the trades kept telling him that the big brand stopped listening and hadn't changed in a hundred years. So they sold out to become some fashion brands. Not him, baby, his buddies. And then carriages started being built for them. And that's why Brunt products are named after the guys. He grew up with real hard working tradesmen. - Brunt. - Yes, the Brunt boots were comfortable right out of the box. Baby, you put them on, they fit, they're smooth. They're buttery. - Don't break it in period. - Listen, I was a guy, I worked blue collar a little bit before they come from a blue collar family. I was a, I was a, I was a bowzo on the job site. I looked like a bowzo. My feet always hurt. I always had bad boots. I was born from my brother. My stepdad, somebody. - Those first three weeks with the new boots. Jesus Christ. - Looking like a bowzo, they're getting wet. Your feet are cold. I'm wearing ankle socks like an asshole. Brunt was tired of the work wear brands out there cutting corners. You work too hard to be stuck in uncomfortable boots that don't hold up. So they built something better. Boots are insanely comfortable and built for any job site for a limited time. Our listeners get $10 off at Brunt when you use the code garbage at checkout. Just head to bruntworkwear.com. Use the code garbage and you're good to go. After you order, they're gonna ask you how you heard about Brunt, do us a favor and tell them it was us. Do it, not back to the show. - All right, let's see here. This one's from Chris, $20 homie, needing to trash or class a judgment. I like this segment. - Yes. - You have more of these, right of it. I say classy, my wife says. - Pio box. - We have a Pio box. - I know. - I just found out of that today. - How long have you known about it? - Two and a half years. - Two and a half years, we had it? - Yeah. - Get it. - Probably Kane, the fan mail. - This one's from Chris, $20 homie, needing to trash or class judgment. I say, class, my wife says trash. Growing up, my stepdad's job was to service arcade games. And what that meant was that at any time we would have a rotation of four or five full arcade games in our garage that were fully free play. And once a month, he would bring home a white van that was full of the claw machine and ticket prizes that we would get to go through. - Oh! - I say, this is all class. My wife says that having four or five broken video games that aren't yours in your small shitty house and calling it an arcade. And then once a month's stealing toys and prizes from a van is not class at all. - I guess it's how you look at it. (laughing) - I mean, is it garbage? I guess, but is it fucking awesome? - Yeah. - Come on. - But he's saying-- - Claw machine prizes? - Yeah. - I guess the thing is, he's saying it's all class. It's not, it's awesome for a kid. - First of all, a white van. - Not class. - Never good. - No. - Never good. - It's awesome. It's garbage, it's awesome. The missus though, you'd be a little harsh. Sounds to me like she's a little jealous. She didn't have it growing up. - Sure. - You know, I saw a guy one of those claw machines where he'd take a magnet and just went woo! And sucked out like four or five pairs of earbuds. - Mm-hmm. - You could-- - Your first day on TikTok or something? - That's a little D-Shick. - That's it. - Like my mom, dude. (laughing) - I don't ever told you my mom pronounces a Netflix. - Netflix. - It's great. - Lower your rate. - I saw that Netflix. - Classic. - Get a good deal on homeowners insurance over there. Netflix. - Netflix. - Great, great. - That must have been fucking awesome. - Did I ever tell you the time, me and Pat's been a lot of time down North Wawwood, Wawwood, New Jersey. Probably about 10 years old. Just discovering heaters and stuff like that. What have you? Hang it. It was like, you leave the house. One of those is like an old trope. Like we would like leave the house at 8 a.m. and just go like, you're like under the boardwalk. We're fucking, you know, just kind of doing whatever, getting into fucking hijinks. And we found this storage room under the boardwalk. - Whoa. - And we got in, and it was all toys from like the games, but they had flood damage. You know what I mean? Like there was like a high tide that like came in and we like got this door open somehow got in there and they had that big watch that was a clock that you would hang on the wall. - Sick. - Remember that? - Yeah. - And dude, this stuff was like so ruined by water and sand. It was like, how bad are we talking? - Bad to the point where like we took it home. My mom was like, get this, this is, that stuff is not coming in the house. But we were like, it was like such a score for young kids. - That's a huge score. - We were like, that's a lift tons off. - We're like, who cares if it's like a playboy's in there? - Yeah, forget it. - Pack of heaters or something? - Damn. - Yeah, it was sad. And I remember being like, I still think about that all the time. A different guy if I had that watch clock. - Yeah. - People coming over, probably getting all the broods. Hey, check out the watch clock. - I remember. - What time is it? - I don't know. - I remember seeing all that stuff in like shows. Like, sick comms like that I watched the house. - Tatyee, dude, it was the huge teddy bear that you could never win was there. It was like the size of the chair. - Yeah. - Sick, I got that. We got all the cool shit, but it was all kind of ruined. - That's where my love affair with the traffic light in my room started. Now you could get one. - Yeah. - But. - Yeah, before you had to find one. - A choir one. - Yeah, you had to, I remember a rich dad like Ricky Schroeder on Silver Spins. He had all kind, you had to race car betty and everything. - Yeah. - And none of that shit. - I remember on home improvement. - Oh, those kids. - They built Jonathan Taylor Thomas's character, Randy? - No, I feel like. - Yeah, Randy. - Randy, Mark and Brad. Yeah, Brad was the oldest, Randy. So it was Randy. Did you watch that show? - Yeah, of course. - How old were you at that point, do you think? - Probably teenagers, 16, 17. - 18, 19. - 38. - Randy, they built him a room in the basement 'cause he wanted his own room. So they built it in the basement. And it was like this like cool bed. It was like built, it was like a fixture. The whole bed was like into the wall and there was a shelving. - I remember being like, that's sick. - What was he making on that show? - What do you mean? - Tim the tool man, Tim. - I was all bent for, that bent for big money. - Yeah, but Daisy, he did a local TV show. What could he be pulling in? - Money was in the local TV shows back then. - Thank you Mr. Darnagore, that was a good segment. - What do they, affiliates? It's all about the affiliates. - Exactly. - Where's our affiliates? - We need affiliates? - We need local channel 109 and Kansas City. - That TV show? - Starts into cadence. - I think we are. - We should be selling us to the Russians too. - It's too risky to be doing this over in Moscow. Like fucking, they're interviewing a guy. He answers wrong, he poisons them. - Rosenthal. - Yeah. - Yeah, I was one of that shit man. - That was like, that's a very good way to put it. Sit calm shit. Now you can get it. But like, sit through the race car. Or like any sort of thing that just wasn't. - Did you feel like you weren't living? - I mean, you only get four years in high school. I'm fucking wasting on a shitty bed. - Love that stuff. - That was good, I yeah. - That was really, that was really it. That was our like, you would look at Instagram and go like, the kids go like, oh, we don't have this. I want to like, that's just seeing. Is it like, Zach Morris' bedroom or something? - Like, what the fuck? - He must have been closing ass in there. - Yeah, good for him. - Yeah. - Good for him. - You got something? - No, I mean, Drake and Josh's bedroom is really cool. - Yeah, it's the same thing. - I always wanted to live on a Disney set. Lunch outside? - Lunch outside. - That was also another thing. They also went to the schools where it was like, we're going white water raft in this weekend. - Yeah. - And the whole school goes to Hawaii for the fucking summer years for saved by the bell. - Who had that? - Yeah, yeah. - Took a trip down to the Franklin Institute. - Yeah, you'd leave the idea. - Like a dickhead. - The idea, if a fucking applied for a job, probably was your career day. - The idea of, I cleaned the heart. - The idea of-- - That was a big heart down to the Franklin Institute. - Sure, it's still there. - The idea of leaving school for lunch was like, so far in time. - Crazy. - I don't know if that was like a Pennsylvania thing where you a lot of do that? - Junior year. - Yeah, really? - I think that might have been a Pennsylvania. - How long did you get? - Junior and senior year, you got an hour. - An hour? - Yeah, you got lunch period. - That's crazy. - Crazy. - We weren't allowed to leave the premises. - We weren't able to go outside if we did, I'd be catching stangers. - Yeah, dude, we cause problems. - That's crazy. - Man. - Where would you go to lunch? - I kind of just go smoke weed somewhere. - Huh. - Would you guys ever go out to have lunch? - Sometimes, but then you just end up, like Monday through Thursday, you just kind of end up going to lunch in the lunch room. - Hey, how's it going out, having a reservation? - How's it going out? - Did they businessmen who's doing that? - A table for three at the RVs, please. What are you talking about? - We're gonna get chicken nuggets at Garden Catering. - Uh. (laughing) - I'm a Sam Adams. (laughing) - Ah, it sounds good, also, I'm a Sam Adams. - I don't got a clip on it, eyes on it. (laughing) (laughing) - Yeah, it's all jealous stuff, but we can do, you know? Lunch outside, Tammy Kutowski running around. - Hey, who is? - Tammy Kutowski. - I don't know, some hot chicken, some show. - That was like four different characters. - Still hot, though, huh? - Uh-huh. - Tell me, Tammy Kutowski is gonna be hot. - Sure. (laughing) - Captain of the cheerleading team and the volleyball team. - Summa cum laude. - What's it called? - What's winning the smartest kid in school? Don't tell me, valedictorian. - Have you ever known anybody as a valedictorian? - No, I bet she did. - I mean, I probably knew who it was. Was there one in high school, or is that just called? - Yeah, I probably knew who it was. - How close you get, pot head? - Not, I mean, I was dead middle. - Dead middle? - Yeah. - Yeah, I think I was too. - I was down at the bottom. - I was like three, 48 out of three, 50. I was like three, 48 in high school. So you didn't get fat till later. - This is a segue. - Segway. - Segway. - Hey, Brendan Fartickoff. - Uh, all right, let's see. This one's from Ray. Greco, you've ever bit someone as an adult. - That's great. That's great, dude. - Why? - Yeah, that's bad. - Did you ever bite anybody in a fight? - In general, I bit my brother a couple of times. - No, yeah, that's what I'd always was like, you had punched someone in the face before you had bit them. That's a bite them. - That's bad. - Go for the nose. - A bite their nose? - No. - You a fucking spider monkey? - It ripped his testicles up. - I said that to you the other day. I strayed for the butthole. That's what they got, they go for the asshole. - I said anything with hyenas in shit with each of them. I wrote for the ass. A little pair in there. - Or hyena. - I used to get me fun for how I said hyena. I think I used to say hyena. - And the flip was like what the? I said, you're over there living like a hyena. - He's like what? - I saw many words. - Could you have a borsair throughout the Northeast? - A borsair. - There's so many words I say so wrong. - Bad news. - Hyena. - My mom says I'm wrong too. Yustin. - Yustin? - Yustitroid? - Yeah, they're huge. - He's a human ass hole that guy. - Human. - That's not fit for human consumption. - So my stepdad used to say when someone would put salad on the table. - That's the thing fit for human consumption. He wasn't a salad guy, Jolten Joe, no? What would he, what would he? - Course lights. No, yeah. Meat, yeah. - Potatoes. - Potatoes, pasta. - Yeah, meat potatoes, pasta. I said he's not, you know. - Human, human, human. - That and karaoke, that's my all time favorite. - He's up there doing karaoke. - Like a Japanese businessman. - I love that shit. - All right, let's see. This one's from Moon Dog, $14 northern here. Never have one red. Is it garbage if your buddy shows up to kids football game in his old jersey? That's, that's a, that's, you know. - Man. - That's tough. - My cousin, God love him. His boy did that. - That wasn't, my cousin's son's football games. - What was the level of, what was the jersey? - It was this high school jersey. - It was home. - Same high school? - No. That's where the issue lies. - I don't know what's worse if I'm being honest. - It was the kid's homecoming, okay? And some of my cousin's boys showed up. One dude rolls in wearing his like, fucking, methactin, fucking jersey. We were at fucking council rock or wherever we were. - Mm-hmm. - Man. - Me and Patty made fun of this guy for about 45 minutes on the drive home. - That's tough. What, was it the same number maybe? - Nah. - Like that's what I thought, like maybe there is kids number six. He was number six. He wants to represent the, yeah, I don't know. No, that's. - However I do it to tell you this. - As the guy who has his jersey framed above his right shoulder. So let's not, let's not sit here like you're fucking, you're Johnny Coolgeyles. - My buddy Joey, shout out to Joey. And the Pots Town show, he brought me a new, with the Hicken Jersey with my number. And my name on it is wife works for the school district. Shout out to him. So expect to see that come game day. I don't know where we're gonna put it. - We're not putting it anyway. - I think it right there. What's the, yeah, okay, I would never wear that out. And I've been tempted to wear my letterman jacket to a couple of his Hicken games. - But that's so you just want that? You it's just you about you. You want them to know you did this as well. It's not about you, it's about the kids. - Who the fuck are you? - What are you, Jerry Lewis? - Fuck these kids. - It's about me. - He's trying to get it. - And my 14 tackles, I. - I would never fucking wear a Jersey or my letterman jacket anyway. I'm not like that, that shit's weird. - I get what you're saying, but your jersey. - I'm looking at your jersey. - That's memorabilia. - No, it's, all right, fight, take it down. - No, I'm just saying, you can't sit there and go, I'm not the guy to do this when it's literally you fought to get it up there. - I didn't fight to get it up there. You asked me, yeah, that's what, I said, oh my God. You know what this really means, the Jersey of a loser. - Do we have the Jersey of a Bench War? - He's personal tax. - Hey, can we, can we, can we get the guy who played left bench? Can we get his jersey on the wall? - What are you talking about? - I had a bad knee. - It's all politics, that coach had it up for me. Playing his son. - Kid was a dickhead, everybody knows it. There's a reason it's up to, I can't remember why. We talked about it a while ago. - Huge loser. - No, we put it up, obviously, I'm joking, but we put it up. - Why don't you put up some of your old cigarette brushes from up to nice clothes? - Some of the girl pictures, girls you just struck out with. - Oh me, oh, me, but it just jinks in a bunch of red X's on their face. - Says Lesbo on 'em. - Tom, hey, I'm welcome to the Tom Brown all the way. - Okay, she fucked up, she fucked up. - No, 'cause the idea was it would be funny to put it up because you breath, you talk about the glory days a lot. That was the premise of it, it's a bit. - It's a bit, that's right. But I wouldn't wear that to fucking a game. Not now anyway, I don't eat though. - Okay, pick me up in the show. - I just need a little something. - Keep me going, you know what I mean? - What do you mean? - No, don't put me, it was something. - Yeah, that's a tough look. I think doing that, you make it about yourself, you're making it, it's about, it's just stopping a loot, you're fucking losing. - Someone had to have died on the team for you to wear that jersey to the-- - Yeah, it's like wearing their dead jersey. - Yeah, maybe the whole team comes out for the home opener and it's like, hey, the guy 10 years ago died and it's the whole team or whatever from that year. - Even still, if I was a kid on a team, I'd be like, hey, pop, pop, let it go. - It's about us now. - Oh yeah. - It's the only, I used to hate when old times were showed up. - Wrestling, and wrestling, we used to have referees that were like 40 and 50 years old. They would show up to our practice and want to wrestle with this. - It was just one guy, fucking enormous. We'd come in and wrestle. Fucking creep fucking kid fucking grab on my nuts and shit Enough of that at home Yeah, I'm with you trash very yeah, not that shit off. Yeah, not that shit off and stop yelling at fucking It's high school sporting events are we just shut the fuck up? Not this shit off. Mm-hmm. I mean yeah No, I agree. I do I guess I kind of have a somewhat of an understanding of like What kind of daddy you gonna be little kipperinos out there? Uh, you gonna keep your mouth shut are you gonna yell? I don't know I don't know like what how I would feel and I get this is where it comes from Let's go keep being that kind of stuff. Yeah sure, but I think like I think parents get emotional. They invest a and I'm not By any means making any like they make a lot of they invest a lot of time Of course, of course, especially now you sports is fucking insane my brother drives all it's why it's crazy So it's like there's that version of it the way you're they're they're also Emotionally and physically invested in it not saying rightfully so but they feel hey I'm spending every one of my weeknights doing this and I just I drove for two hours ago to the game I'm sitting here and then other people chime in and then it like you keep one up in and like I don't know like if somebody like Did a dirty foul on the kid. I get how you would be like hey, what the fuck You know, it's a Charge yeah people can get charged up if you're your kids You know as kicked by some 29 year old dad something happens, you know, I'm just saying like I can I understand it My one boy would talk to his dad why he was why he was on the sidelines and the devil He's not passing it to me doing that shit back and forth. Oh, yeah, nerd alert zip it Um, all right. Let's see here. This is from Bay bass com's base com's is it garbage to hold your beer while you slow dance. Oh Had I mean, I like it. Yeah That's a gentleman's move you because you know what that shows you you're not trying Your dad you're out there for your lady Yeah, you're doing this push. Oh, that's a good idea. I'm gonna start holding the drink more Not you said you said this like two weeks ago. Yeah, I really want to start. I want to have a drink in my hand at all times So we had two weeks ago when you haven't done it you haven't seen me out. I did have it in my hand when I was at fucking A cook out the other day. I had a periade in my hand the whole time that I brought That's trashy why Because you yeah, we know I brought a case did you yeah, okay for everybody very nice different flavors No, it was theirs which I thought was very classy. Oh, it was theirs. Oh, that's very classy. It can's a periade That's better than any shindig you've ever put together. Yeah, it's pretty good. I didn't expect that from him. No kind of ours Colin Chamberlain. Yeah, very nice bit of a hillbilly Charcuterie board the whole nine yards huh. Yeah, it was very classy. Is it you want a seltzer? I I think you had him there for me Which kind of sucks and it's kind of cool You want to know how I found out I'm out of the message cabinet how I'm not classy uh, we Where I was in Germany that we went to France and I ordered a meat and cheese plate That was a little outside of my wheel house. You don't know what you're getting fucking brains over there. That was I was like bread. Oh, yeah, people do the meat and cheese plate like past it, dude This thing came out with fucking goat brains. I didn't I didn't know cheddar cheese could have mold on it And we got any for breeze on them. Jesus Christ. They are the hall. It was a rough just ain't the grapes If I can hold to my nose throwing fucking pieces pieces of cheese down my gullet Yeah, they were like are you done? I'm like yeah, I'm done. All right I want you to eat up my elios Yeah, that's look at the snickers to get this taste out of my mouth. That's Yeah, you that's dangerous territory. I wasn't thinking I was like comfortable I was a little bit of adventurous and I said I'll do the meat and cheese plate It right there. We'll see it comes out with a close pin That's shit. What the hell are they doing over there? Hey love that shit They got cheese over there with maggots in it Big something my mom would say Huge maggots had a fit for human consumption everybody eat worms That's a big denies thing too. Why don't I do it in the Gagget in the Korean food You say you say you say you say me as the kind of family that you probably didn't eat french fries after 9/11 Freedom fries god damn America Dump it up the wine and shit. No, I mean we didn't do that At the time these he was drinking stutter home, which is an American beverage I was always good for breast cancer too. What they're always doing some breast cancer stutter home The white symphanel stutter home is because it's pink. I guess they got a dime of that money I remember that's when they switched back to they would do these small boxes of wine these small pink boxes box wine became I remember then they would just sit there each one they had my she'd have one of my step that would have because they were like mini Boxes I can put them it down That box wine was huge Love that's like the party ball the mid-2000. Yeah, of course like party ball I'm gonna ride high self Chi who always wants to be the guy with a drink. I'm out of celtzer empty I'm getting accused of drinking without it What yeah people are saying that I'm drinking When I don't have anything in there you do that Oh I don't need this shit This one's just funny. This is from all the toast $10 hard stuff ever eat powder out of a crystal light packet It's the closest I've ever come to hard drugs I get that I don't make you blink and then blink again though crystal light No, but for a while I was taking lemon and dip it in sugar and crushing it the baby likes lemons The baby likes lemon. Yeah, now that's an odd duck right there man odd guy. He's into lemons. Yeah, what do you mean? Just chewing a lemon. I think they did look like a rock they like that would not like the I like bite it And he doesn't like it and it's like it goes back into it really has a sour skittle those things are fucking great Uh-huh, I love them. I love babies. Yeah, see lemon no shit. They like the intense sour and tart flavor. No kid Huh, I like muscles when I was a baby Helps expand their palate and prevents picky eating. Oh There you go someone I don't care how many lemons he has he ain't gonna have that cheese plate I had he ain't gonna like that it is like he yeah, it's seem picky right anything you give me you don't like uh No, no, I mean he wasn't huge. I mean their palate is developing so it's not like a not like it like he wasn't big on eggs for a minute Turn the corner on them Uh Yeah, now holy kid anything for the most it's mostly like if he's hungry or not when we were over in Germany his uh My wife's mom made him some sort of pardir some in the morning. He wasn't fucking. He wasn't having that I had to put some Fucking, you know goldfish or something Crush up some crackers in there. Put it in Uh, yeah, I couldn't imagine Yeah, now, but he uh turn of the century German porridge now is yeah, I don't know I guess maybe the rate of these rocks So all dust um But yeah, now holy pretty much anything. Hmm. Let me think you give him That's all in these I mean a lot of it's in the you know the pouches on the go I don't know how to the dulcey those who the fuck were we talking to that? Oh Connor. Yeah, but he does like the juice boxes Uh, but they do do it. It's like fucking turkey bowl and a's with fuck you and they're like chef What do you mean in the pouches? Wait, is it baby food? Yeah. Oh So it's mushed up turkey like turkey dinner turkey dinner Yeah mushed up turkey dinner. I like that. I think it's given to turkey Who the fuck I got time to make a turkey. Time to make you six hours to make a turkey so my baby could call me a dick But he's just he's just yelled at how I'm raising my why don't you make him a turkey? I thought the baby foods should be sweet Hey, it's all dude. Look at look at the pouch find the pouches. It's all fucking is it real turkey What huh Is it real turkey turkey flavor It's good. That's from a concentrate turkey with an eight um what There's this one that's yeah those turkey bowl and eight right there look look at the Turkey bowl and eight spaghetti serenity kids Look at all those flavors While called while called salmon. What are you talking about with butter, nut, squash and beets Free range pork with green bean and sweet potato. Look back me up grass Hey bison with cam butcha and a little bit of tequila what 93 bucks. How many are you getting? Oh, yeah, I find like a lot It's too close to dog food it's so it's so close to cat food. It's crazy Wild caught salmon now. Can you see the fibers of the meat in there? Is it just pure mush so much that a day? They ain't using real stuff. Yeah, they think so yeah, dude Unless like black the less they were just sold the black water or something they go in they fucking next thing You know you can go fish fucking chicken salad Can you eat goldfish? I'm sure you could probably like a steak will be small, but yeah, I'm sure you get a full layoff it huh Yes Let's see here this one's from Tommy Hegglin Yo, this is this Tommy Hegglin the Hegglins the Hegglins are eight the Hegglins fight dirty through the house down the street Where over by the Hegglins house? Well, you know Tammy and Bobby Hegglin. Yeah, uh, well, they're they're youngess Tommy He's a fighter. Yeah, it's tough kid tough kid tough is nails Striving that corn in the streets all lamb That's one thing that I me Hegglin Shout out to Tommy Hegglin. I won't get my family. It's dude. There's this thing of Identifies what sure Point you go to mm-hmm, and it was like Avalon you do whatever Atlantic City you do this dude C. Isle was You work in construction and no less than six of your cousins are you meeting on the beach that day? And I was like holy shit cuz there's like 15 to 20 of us. Yeah but That's what all but everybody you hear my family talk about Well, yeah, you know, you know the Hegglins you know, you know, and then go what Jimmy Hegglin. Nah, I think it was it And it's like it's always about how good of an athlete they were or how tough they were That's the only that's the only two things their thought. It was a great basketball player or substance of these problems That's why he's not a basketball player anymore. Sun's not doing great. Yeah, yeah, a problem That's what we always said probably our problems Not so fucked up on perks. We're talking about the guy. Hey coke head long divisions a problem I like the yak Holy kid likes the yeah This is from Tommy Hegglin dude the Hegglins had they got to be from North East Philly Tommy hit us up Ever bragged that your internal clock is so good that you know what time it is without a watch What are you Kramer? That's crazy, dude. That's a great one. That's up there with like You know your knee when it rains. Yeah, like I get my legs don't get cold like that kind of thing You know what I mean like some weird super humid. Yeah strength that you think you have they cold don't bother me. Uh-huh Cold don't bother. Hey, they he cold don't bother me That's fucking great dude a very Hegglin thing to say. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, the Hegglins Damien Bobby Hegglin It's four o'clock the Kliggits Kliggits Got up to the Kliggits. Yeah, I'll probably see the Kliggits this summer very soon. Get down a shore. We go to Alphys Kliggits probably like this split an appetizer. Don't they sure? I would do I would love if my mom would let me just to go like if I could get her phone book from like 2003 Kliggits to Gary and just go through the names, dude Mm-hmm core crins core crins. Uh-huh sure so many of them Let's see here. This was from Hugh jazz. That's pretty good. I didn't notice that 10 dollar homie never have one red You ever have a cousin or family member you were forced to hang out with that kind of scares you I had a goth cousin with ICP and horror movie posters in his room that I had to hang with scared the shit out of him Yeah, those people that I uh that my mom sent me to when her mom was dying They're sweet people. Mm-hmm Deliports. Shout out to Deliports, but I that was little and the one son Was into like pink Floyd and shit like that and I didn't understand what that shit was I just knew we wore black band t-shirts that scared me and they had like a fort in the woods There was a worshippers now. There was like fireworks and dirt bikes and all that kind of stuff And I was just too young for it And I didn't like it. There were the kind of woods when you walked out there It was you know, it was colder and darker than in the sunlight Yeah, I didn't like it You know that a lot of worms around a couple of nudie mags that I wasn't ready for. I was like what the fuck's going on I don't like it. Yeah, he's scary probably a sweet kid My mom's friend Single mom A son who was like Danny's agent and a girl was my age or they would go out Right like oh, you're gonna go like they would drop us off it We they dropped us off at her house that my mom and her went out for like dinner or something like that and we all All the kids stayed at the house and I remember This kid would be great. That was sometimes that was great. Yeah, I mean when it was like our crew like it was like You know like our tight circle of friends. It was like there was a crew where it was like I was friends with the younger sons Danny was friends with the oldest boy like they met at the soccer field and then we became bullies But we were like five and now we're like 10 Our dads became drinking buddies the my everybody would go. Oh, we're going out to dinner We're just gonna drop the four families kids all at this house then all the parents are gonna go and it would just be like Hey, I was that's when it was fucking awesome shout out to the eagans um The hecklands the egglands uh But this kid He had a dude. I remember black light was cool. This kid had a strobe light in his room And he put the food in his season up He put the food fighters on it might as well have been dancing he might as well be playing pink fluid backwards dude. It's scared And he was like not mashing but like doing this and like Because it was in the strobe light. It was like the fragment. It's I remember being like um Fucking this is pre-selfly. You can get a hold of his thumb roast probably out there drinking a white something though Well, what the fuck it's like a haunted house Danny was Danny wasn't there and it was just like it was like kind of no backup. Oh nothing Nobody check him. I sit. I was so scary. Oh And he had like a stone temple pilot shirt on and like that was all that might as well been the devil music to me I didn't know nothing about that. That's got a while there was a freak dog There's a flip side to that which we got a lot because my older cousin kelly she about five six years older than me And all the girls in like the family circle, you know, like the other families that we were all friends with Everyone's pretty and they're fucking cool and they fucking know what's going on They don't smell good fucking. It was awesome. We could get stuck over there on a Friday night all the parents go out Whoo hang out at the Wilson's not only happened like once or twice where I got to hang out there because then they moved But their old house was awesome. That's how bad they went to get away from you. Oh, he's shit this kid knows where we live. Oh, it was great Fucking yeah Cosmos going around Magazine cuz pop got you very chick. They were cool chicks It was a good feeling. It was a very safe cool feeling. Mm-hmm. I fucking beg of death boy Yeah, it's it was like it's There's a little kid seen a dude with eye makeup like what the fuck dude. That was like It was the first Kid too who like I kind of knew but then I hadn't seen for years and he like grew up. Oh, that was weird and was like he might have been driving at the time He was a little older than Danny so like even my You know He like it was intimidating to Danny as well. So it was like even like the tough guy you might like Damn out of his kids give you a handful for Danny, too. It was just like That's fucked up. You go into thinking how you're gonna take him in case he goes Yeah, I mean then, you know, he went into he he took a hard right Down a very very bumpy bumpy road stop wasn't that food fighters on me, man Let's just say weed is a gateway drug The fact that the food fighter scared you I didn't know what song was it what year do the food fighters come out 95 You know, I'm nine What what do you mean what yeah? Well the fact of my mother left me with the fucking well, I thought about it No, maybe monkey ranchers I won't I didn't know I think it was ever long. Was that off that first album? No, uh, no Man, I received I remember him jumping off to dress her onto the bed in the strobe light and like slowly As a guy we got to turn the lights on and call the cops Bloody, I don't listen you see like you got a lot going on I mean that says watch boy meets where I'll get my hand on straight. Oh no, this is a rancher. This is a one-level house No way to run on it had that old carpet that was like Super plush, you know what I mean? Oh, I didn't fucking like anything about this joint And it was in like it was in a part of the town that I didn't know that well. You know what I mean Man, you had some anxiety. You're trying to figure out an escape plan how to beat this kid up Well, why would I not have anxiety? I got left with this kid. Do I haven't seen him ten years? You know Said you were not he he used to be my neighbor Then there's a divorce and stuff and they split town. Oh, man, she left you with him. That's crazy Yeah, he was he wanted to see a dead cat. Yeah, that that kind of kid You know what I mean? And he would always tell you stories about his dad and you know like yeah, well, and I'm with my dad His dad and his uncle lived together. So it is like This kid and it's getting it up like so bad like the worst The worst you could be without dying genuinely like that bad Danny saw him Danny saw him at a while out in Arminga Avenue And he asked Danny for change Damn. Yeah, and there's a girl. What's up? Still got that strobe light? Yeah, food fighters now The day is a girl. What's up dude? It's me and he was just like boot scootin buggy Fucking zombie Yeah, okay, okay, you're inch about your inch You start running away. It's a grown man gives me a wedgie We got to wrap it up gang. What a fun one. What a fun one is the big man said yeah good old family episode I'm gonna try to sell it at the end. You guys had a good time right now you're Remember how much fun we had gang gang will see in Cleveland will see in Pittsburgh will see in Denver We'd love you and we'll see you next week. Peace!