Family Trips: Live! In Boston with Tiffany Haddish

Have you heard that McDonald's Spicy Chicken McNuggets made with spicy tempura and a blend of aged cayenne are back? Remember to grab a few extra napkins for a limited time at participating McDonald's. This episode of Family Trips is brought to you by Cologuard, a non-invasive colon cancer screening test. You know, Pashi, once you're at 45, it's time to screen for colon cancer. No matter how young you look, Pashi, it's one of those things that's easy to put off because you think it'll be a hassle and life is so busy. Yeah, and I think a lot of people assume they need to schedule a procedure, take time off work, or deal with all the prep that comes with a colonoscopy. But that's exactly why we were interested in trying the Cologuard test. The process was honestly incredibly simple. I requested the test online via telehealth professional. It was delivered right to my door. I completed it at home. I sent it back without having to press fast or rearrange. My schedule. My busy schedule. My podcast-loaded schedule. Yeah, same here. It fit right into my day and it really took away a lot of the excuses people have for putting screening off. It's non-invasive, can be completed at home in about 15 minutes, and it can detect 95% of colon cancers. We also learned that colon cancer is actually the number one cancer killer of people under 50 in the U.S. Good news, it's also one of the most preventable cancers, so keep up to date with your screenings. So if you're 45 or older and at average risk. Don't wait. If you've been putting it off, you're definitely not alone. But this is one of the things that's easy to take care of. If you're 45 or older and at average risk, talk to your healthcare provider about screening for colon cancer and ask if Cologuard could be right for you. You can also request a Cologuard prescription today at Cologuard.com. Cologuard products are intended to screen adults 45 and older at average risk for colorectal cancer. Do not use if you have had a personal history of colorectal cancer or polyps, have inflammatory bowel disease, or have been diagnosed with colon cancer or colorectal cancer. bowel disease, a family history of colorectal cancer, or certain hereditary syndromes or a positive result from another colon cancer screening method within that test's recommended screening interval. Cologuard results should be interpreted with caution as false positive and false negatives do occur. Available by prescription only. Hey, Bajie. Hey, Sufi. How are you? I'm great. I had the best time with you on the road shows. This is the second episode we did on the road. Back to back nights, this one in Boston. Yeah. Our producer, Jeff, drove us from place to place. Shout out to Jeff. Shout out to Jeff. Real yeoman's work to get us there, get us to the church on time. Jeff was very funny in the car and kept saying I was stealing his jokes. Not really, not wrong. You didn't steal one. He said it and then you said it and recorded it and I think posted it, which is, yeah, that's jokes stealing. I mean, but that's producing. Just being a producer. I guess. I'm giving him credit on the pod. I don't know where else to give him credit. Okay, yeah, no, fair enough. I could not believe our guest took a red eye to Boston to do this show with us. I thought she was coming out east anyway and was like, oh, I'm coming out. I'll come out early, you know, as a favor to the Myers brothers. Yeah, you know, because of looking at your app or however you're watching this, that Tiffany Haddish is our guest. But so she took a red eye. She landed that the morning of the show. And then the next morning she left at 6 a.m. to fly to Seattle to go do stand up. So she left before we were we were awake. Yeah. Huge kudos to her. And also in the course of our interview with her, we failed to mention all of the projects she has coming out, which is, I think, part of why she wanted to do our show. Never not working. Yeah, never not working. So Tiffany has wanted heist, which is available right now. You can rent that on YouTube, on Prime Video, on Apple TV. And then she's got a couple of projects that are about to come out. She's got the girl in the river, which is very exciting. And then she's got the deputy with William H. Macy. Very exciting. And I mean, just if you blink, there's probably going to be two or three more Tiffany Haddish projects that are about to come out. So she's one of the all time greats. Just a she's a light. She's a good person. She's so genuinely funny. But I really was spending time with her. Like the takeaway is just her warmth and it comes across. Yeah. And also just I'll let you know real quick. Also, after we recorded this episode, I had a bunch of friends from growing up who were around. Mackenzie was there. We had this little sort of side room set aside to have some drinks with our buddies afterwards. It's amazing. It's amazing. It's amazing. It's amazing. It's maybe 10 o'clock, 1030. And Tiffany's like, got to get picked up at six in the morning. And she's like, no, I want to come talk to these people. And was just as gracious a person as I've ever encountered. Yeah. And man, we love her. And she's she's great. And by the way, I think if we had her on a third time, we wouldn't even come close to scratching the surface of the trip she's been on. Yeah, true. True that. Please enjoy it, everybody. And thanks to everybody who showed up in Boston. And thanks to City Winery. They were amazing. Family trips with the Myers brothers. Hey, everybody. We got signage. We got signage. Hello. Thank you, everybody. We are the Myers brothers. And this is our second live show. And we didn't know how they were going to go. And it's just been so exciting to have, you know, to sell it out and to be in a full house. So we're just so excited about this. And thank you so much for being here. Yeah. Yeah. We do. We love Boston. Boston was like the town for us when we were going to go do something. It's also the town for Ben Affleck. That's why they made a movie about it called The Town. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. But this is like, this is where we would come. We saw great theater here growing up. We'd come in for Red Sox games. We're from Southern New Hampshire. We grew up in Bedford, New Hampshire. There we go. And I will say, I think, you know, again, you grow up in New Hampshire and you get the Boston Globe and you get Boston TV stations and you root for Boston sports teams and you feel like you're from Boston. And I will say, no offense to any Boston person here. You don't consider where we're from Boston. Yeah, definitely don't. I remember once being at a charity fundraiser and I was talking to one of the Wahlbergs, not Mark. If it was Mark, I would have said it was one of the, you know, there's a lot of Wahlbergs. There's a lot out. And I remember we were talking and the Wahlberg said to me, are you, are you from Boston? And I said, oh, I'm from Southern New Hampshire. And then they said, so no. And I think that's, that tells you a lot about people from Boston. Yeah. In general. Yeah. And we also, our mother's from Marblehead. So that counts. A lot of connection to the area. Yeah. We've got, we've got family in Salem. Also tomorrow I'm going to go on an Airbnb experience, a sunset sailboat ride in Salem Harbor, which our uncle used to have a sailboat. We used to go out there and I'm going to go out there with like 11 friends and family and it's going to be great. And yeah, thank you Airbnb for that. I think I knew I wasn't going to be a man of the sea. One of those trips with our uncle Eric, who had a beautiful sailboat. Cause all I looked forward to was we were allowed to like bring one soda of our choice. And so I remember I, the whole, all I would think the whole time around the boat is like orange crush, orange crush, orange crush. And that was the same thing with camping. And I think I, as I've grown into an adult, you know, no camping, no boats. Yeah. I'll still put down an orange crush every once in a while. You're not super adventurous. I am not super adventurous. Thank you. Thank you for saying that. I will say this. This was very adventurous. And we talked about this on the podcast because I brought my son Ash to Boston in April and we went on a duck boat ride, which was fantastic. And I mean the duck boats, give it up for the duck boats. But there was a lot of, there was a real cocky air on the duck boat from our guide about the fact that there had never been a duck boat had never sank. No incidents. Weeks later, weeks later, a duck boat goes ass over a tea kettle. Yeah. Just had one bad flipper. Yeah, exactly. By the way, exactly the place that you most fear would happen is where it happened. But fortunately nobody was hurt at the duck boat. Although I didn't fully Google that. So yeah, no, no, no, no. You don't, you just stop. Either nobody was hurt or a rest in peace. We'll just add it. We'll make an edit. And when we do the final, when we air this. Yeah. Um, but yeah, I don't know. We used to come to Boston all the time. We used to come to see a shows. Uh, the first time we saw cats, uh, was in Boston. We moved here the day we moved here. We flew from Michigan. We landed in Boston. We saw cats. It was sort of like our parents way of pulling the wool over our eyes that we had left everything that we knew in our life. And it was like, here, look at these cats. Yeah. Um, they didn't even tell us we were moving. They were like, we're going to get on a plane. We're going to go see a show about cats. We're like, great. And they're like, pack everything you own, which wasn't a lot. It wasn't a lot. Uh, we saw cats. I I've told this story before, but a marvelous Marvin Hagler, uh, the boxer was at our showing of cats and, uh, and my dad, uh, our dad, um, thank you. I make this mistake a lot. Um, I consider him mind um but he said go ask him to have your playbill signed and for a long time i had my uh which by the way is a very funny place to have a boxer's autograph on like a playbill for cats yeah yeah it's like i got muhammad ali on uh carousel uh but uh we went over and i remember while we were uh getting it signed a woman came over to uh marvin haggler and said my husband says uh you're overrated and he looked up while he was signed he goes have him come over and say that and i remember yeah yeah very nice yeah good uh an ask um can i say something about i i feel like you had a road trip foul today because we drove yeah we drove from philly to boston today one thing that was interesting is when we were in philly last night um uh we we were talking oh i should say at the end of this we're gonna have a microphone we're gonna have somebody bring it around at the end of the interview with our guest uh we are gonna see if anybody here has any questions or if you have a trip story you'd like to share uh josh has something to say about your trip story real quick ideally if you have a trip story it's a good story yeah um and it's not you're not just like kind of making it up as you go yeah just because you went somewhere doesn't make it a good story something needed to have happened yeah uh something amusing it's not binary don't be sitting here right now being like i either did or didn't go on a trip it's so much richer it has to be richer than right and like a minute 90 seconds like you're not going to get eight minutes so think about that yeah as you're thinking about this uh and there will be a way to know a subtle way to know if it's going on too long which is josh will scream time uh what was i oh so we were we were doing q a and somebody in philly said uh uh my least favorite thing in the world is driving through uh connecticut and everybody applauded like everybody in philly it was a yeah and don't take this the wrong way but like i'm not going to do it again i'm not going to do it again i'm not going to do it again like you know we grew up in new hampshire and we thought the worst place to drive was massachusetts like we never got to connecticut because we would turn back um but is this something would you guys agree that connecticut is the worst place fascinating to me also like those cops pull you over in connecticut they're i feel like it's they're they're writing tickets yeah they're they're ticket writing people what was the foul that i so the foul was uh and by the way look i i mean you so i i don't it doesn't sound like you do but go ahead but like we're part of a road trip is we had a long drive right it was six and a half hours like i was trying to find a place that we could stop uh we stopped at a really a good well food uh what would you call it in parkville in hartford yeah anybody been it's a great court it was a food court but it was a it was great a lot of um ethnic foods from all over the world it was great and we got there and you had stopped in the morning and bought like a vegan hoagie yeah but like so you bought a sandwich in philly ate it in the car and then we get to hartford and like part of the joy of a road trip is like let's go eat this interesting food and you're like i'm full i had a i had a juice i had a nice juice nobody likes to be with the juice guy nobody likes no complaints i also bought you a breakfast sandwich which you picked out like a it was it was that look and again uh i have nothing but respect for your i don't mind vegan food there was it was some it was a weird consistency it was a weird consistency yes it was like i like because again it's that thing of like i know it's not a sausage but they're trying they know it's not a sausage but we're gonna go through this dance and call it a sausage so can at least like feel like a sausage you know what i mean they're working on it they're working they're working on it is the best i can again i mean again and hopefully it's something else that i've done wrong uh no i have something i a couple because we were talking about the last time i was in uh boston i brought my son two things happened when i brought my son uh of note maybe three one was we went and saw the red sox and they got crushed and it was april when the red sox were bad and um it was the first red sox gamer brought my son to and i realized because he'd never been to a game before he just may have this assumption that like because they and by the way a lot of red sox fans had this too that they were bad uh so i keep telling him they're good now and he's like not based on what i saw and i'm like yeah there's been a lot of baseball since then ash um that was one thing another thing is we were here uh on marathon weekend which was kind of poorly planned by us um not and by the way it's great to be here for the marathon the days leading up to the marathon you just feel bad about yourself every time you're outside because just packs of fit people are running by and uh and the one thing that was the highlight of my son's entire time in boston is a guy a pack of like 100 people running by and then a guy turned and went whoa seth myers and i went hey man and then he turned back around and literally ran into a planter yeah yeah i mean everyone's gonna like that everyone except for the guy but a 10 year old boy he was like ah and then like basically like even like during the red sox game i'm like you've taken in the first red sox game he's like you think that dude's okay like that's all i cared about um we have a guest we have a guest we have a very exciting guest we have a very exciting and we love that we haven't told you who this guest is yes we really appreciate that you're here not knowing who the guest is yeah um and we kind of then in a way uh it's kind of we're we're rewarding you for your faith in us yeah and and we love we love this guest we love this guest this person um loves to travel they love trips one might argue uh they gave the greatest performance in a film about trips all time probably i mean right up there yeah uh that film that film uh was a girl's trip the guest is tiffany haddish everybody give it up for tiffany tiffany we are just i mean we we are still in awe at the fact that you said yes we are so grateful we are in your debt you are so welcome and yes finally a white man owe me something and now tiffany also um boston did not uh immediately agree with you when you landed no as soon as i entered into the massachusetts airspace my body started to have a a chemical reaction i think um and as soon as i came off the plane like my eyes are burning really bad then the further i walked into the airport like his tears coming out my eyes my nose starts swelling my lips start swelling my eyes was like i thought they was gonna fall out my head by the time i got to the hotel my eyes were basically swollen closed and the the front desk the lady at the front desk goes oh miss haddish are you okay and i was like bitch i don't know i can't say shit don't ask me to sign nothing i'm not gonna mention the name of our hotel and everyone that's going to sign it i'm not going to mention the name of our hotel and everyone that's there is lovely but they uh are not exercising discretion because we showed up a few hours later and literally the first thing the clerk said is like tiffany's having a lot of issues with the pollen tiffany's having an allergic reaction and she came in and it was a thing yes i thought i was gonna die so you claretoned up yeah so i took a clearance i had i always travel with some like some claritin um i'm about to say drugs i don't even want to say that after tuesday but um uh i always have clarity so i took one and then i was like okay let me take a little nap and then i should feel better and i took a little nap and i woke up and i was like okay my eyes i could see a little better i'm like let me go outside and do a little walk around because that's what i do when i go to new play i like to walk around but like i just walked around a block like literally just and that was a it's a little bitty block i just walked around i was like i can't take this no more i gotta go back inside well we're so uh thank you so much and you did for a moment um i'm gonna go back inside and i'm gonna go back inside and i'm gonna go back inside and i'm gonna you were worried uh that it was maybe food you'd been served yeah what is what is the food you're most worried about i was worried about mushrooms and pineapples that's what i'm really allergic to very hard to sneak that into anything yeah well i still called the airline and was like what the fuck was in that food and they told me the whole i was like i need the whole recipe did y'all use like mushroom oil or anything it's like no no yeah well you did have the uh you had the mushroom oil and the mushroom oil and the mushroom oil and the mushroom oil and the mushroom oil and the mushroom just by myself like i didn't need brothers and sisters and all that stuff i don't know why my mama did that because i'm the funniest um i was having so much fun in the dark all alone um and it's so funny because um you know i had a couple of friends that did it and they were like you know it can be really like uncomfortable at first but then it's like you get it feels like you're in the womb after like a day the first day i was there i was there i did it four days full dark complete darkness and so what do you and how do you eat and drink? Okay, so there's a hole in the wall okay it has a little door on the hole in the wall and somebody comes every single day they come for breakfast lunch and dinner and they talk they they shout out to you like hey Tiffany you okay I'm like yeah I'm good now I might have been masturbating right when they they're like yeah I'm good and they're like okay we got your food here and there's a two-way like door so and it has like a little shelf in there so they open the door they put the food on there and they close it does light come streaming them and they do that no no because there's another door there and if i held that door open maybe when they were putting the food then it would be light that comes in but i'm i'm not doing that because i'm in a bathtub enjoying myself they got this bathtub in there now i don't know what the bathtub looked like on the inside but it was so crazy because i had to feel around to find the tub right so i'm using all my senses and i've i've turned on the water i'm like oh no that's cold water turn on the hot water i'm like okay that's hot water and then like i'm looking for i have brought some some um some bath bomb and i have my suitcase so i'm digging through the suitcase in the dark and then it's like you really discover that like eyesight is amazing but also all these other abilities that we have are super dope too so i put the bath bomb in there at least i think i'm pretty sure it was bad bombing might have been a bottle of clary it might have been a sea salt i don't know no but i put the bath bomb in there and then i get in there and it felt like i felt like the safest and like i don't know i just felt like just there's so much peace in it although i was in complete darkness like through my eyes through my heart and my soul like i felt like i was surrounded in safety and light like it felt like like like they had explained like you're in your mother's womb like there's nothing that can hurt you and so then it started feeling like when those voices was coming from the outside like tiffany we have your food how you feeling in there are you okay and i'm like yeah i'm every time i was exercising in there doing jepa jacks i had wrote now i couldn't write down on paper but in my mind i wrote a monologue okay i might have been talking to myself a lot uh but it's like acting out when you when did you book it for four days because that seems like such an aggressive choice for something you've never done before do some people just do it for one day the first time they try it i don't know i think everybody has to book three days oh wow okay um but i booked it for four and it was so it was great i needed that reset it was like a full like factory reset i didn't have no phone my phone didn't work in there or nothing i didn't have no light there was a little thing if i wanted light if i needed some light then you could push this little button in a little bitty like dim light come on it was kind of sexy that's probably when i was masturbating um what was your my sister with my sister's an evangelist right and she's like oh the demons gonna come out you're gonna be in that dark the demons you're gonna be seeing demons and stuff because you got sex demons you got this demon i said well if the demons come they're gonna get played with like they don't want to mess with me in the dark because i'm gonna be i'm gonna be the one to get down she's like tiffany you so oh my goodness i hope god shows up i said i hope god shows up too i'm gonna be the one to get down i'm gonna be in there butt naked waiting for him that was really good too i didn't have to put up like i brought a suitcase and i'm like what did i even bring this for i could be butt naked in here the whole time nobody gonna see me then i started thinking dang what if they got like one of them night vision cameras in here that i can't see they're filming everything i'm doing but this would be a great show fuck it what was your re-entry into the world like so the re-entry was crazy so they put this blindfold on you it's funny because they opened the door right it's like a little bit of lights coming through because it's the way they had it set up is like you go down these stairs and there's a so you go through a door and you go down these stairs and the stairs lead into a cave and then there's a door there and it's like that door is the door into the room and that blocks out all the light by the way whatever kind of mattress they had in there to sleep on was amazing yeah because i slept like a dead body not even like a baby babies wake up yeah i slept like a dead body straight i don't know how many hours but i felt so rejuvenated that's when i started exercising and talking to myself taking baths anyways um when you come out they put the blindfold on you because they're like you want your eyes to like slowly adapt to the light or whatever and then they like hand walk me up the stairs and they filmed it they filmed it like when i first took the blindfolds off i was like whoa like everything the color of it made me really emotional and i thought i had the camera there was like i really got to appreciate everything that god made like to see those trees that how green they were the grass that was growing the way the mountains look i saw a deer way far away and also my vision had improved times 10 probably because i wasn't stressing my eyeballs out for days right and it's just like everything and everything was so just gorgeous and um i was like turn off the fucking camera because i want to cry and they're like we got to interview you and i'm like i don't want to do it you got to pay me and wait wait a minute i didn't pay for this shit like so they cut all that part out because i started talking shit and then uh uh we did like a little interview but it was just really made me appreciate god so much more and how beautiful colors are and shapes and how awesome my eyeballs are and then they took they were like okay now we're going to do this uh it music in the dark i was like music in the dark what the hell is that and they took me into this like they had dug a hole in the ground like a silo in the ground and you climb down these uh like this ladder and there's like all these beautiful pillows all around and they painted the walls all white and so you're in the ground and there's all these instruments and this is some white people shit i'm telling you black people we're not we've not done it we're not finna do no music in the fucking ground no no you'll be above ground i mean that's most like every christmas we would get in the silo like y'all going down into the basement i don't know anyways we were down there and it was just like make music in the dark so we're in complete darkness again which i felt very comfortable in even though it was just me and three white dudes which i was like if they try to fuck me i'm getting pregnant by all of them i was in heat at that point and uh definitely the start of a movie which is nine months after that you calling up three guys and being like we got to figure out who's this is well what about you guys remember the silo what about if it's the reverse where they see like i'm all famous and oh tiffany's having a baby and they're like that's my baby no it's my baby no it's my baby and then it's like who's the daddy i'm like none of y'all the daddy and then like we are going more here or something i would love to see men try i love watching like those uh like uh paternity court and where the men are like no i know this is my baby i'm like oh i love that because it's not his and it don't be it don't but you can tell by the ears if it's your baby or not always by the ears i could tell i could if you want me to line up your kids and look i could tell i could tell you it'd be very funny if you went uh you were a doctor and you came in for a dna paternity test and you're like it's actually not we don't draw blood we just look at the ears we just look at the ears yeah hey we're gonna take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors hey pudgy hey sufi i'm so excited to tell our listeners about our sponsor avocado green mattress they're certified organic mattresses sleep cool relieve pressure and support your body so you can enjoy deep restorative sleep they don't use polyurethane foams instead every mattress uses healthy natural materials they're even handmade and you know what the myers family you know when alexi ash myers is in charge of things poshy it's gotta be organic gotta be organic you know why i really loved an avocado green mattress why well because you get to go in and you can feel it for yourself yeah you can actually walk into an avocado showroom or find their mattresses at a retailer near you and once you light out on one you just know it's just good to go yeah gotta be able to test it it's too important but i will say yeah you can't do word of mouth on mattresses you gotta like test it yourself and uh it's really wonderful that they provide this for everybody avocado products are made not manufactured and thoughtfully crafted with real materials to deliver lasting comfort and support you can experience them in person at an avocado green mattress we're a premier retailer near you or shop online at avocadogreenmattress.com trips to check out their mattress and furniture sale that's avocadogreenmattress.com slash trips avocadogreenmattress.com slash trips this episode of family trips is brought to you by colo guard a non-invasive colon cancer screening test you know poshy once you're at 45 it's time to screen for colon cancer no matter how young you look poshy it's one of those things that's easy to put off because you think it'll be a hassle and life is so busy yeah and i think a lot of people assume they need to schedule a procedure take time off work or deal with all the prep that comes with a colonoscopy but that's exactly why we were interested in trying the colo guard test the process was honestly incredibly simple i requested the test online via telehealth professional it was delivered right to my door i completed it at home i sent it back without having to press fast or rearrange my schedule my busy schedule my podcast loaded schedule yeah same here it fit right into my day and it really took away a lot of the excuses people have for putting screening off it's non-invasive can be completed at home in about 15 minutes and it can detect 95 percent of colon cancers. We also learned that colon cancer is actually the number one cancer killer of people under 50 in the US. So if you're 45 or older and at average risk, don't wait. If you're 45 or older and at average risk, talk to your health care provider about screening for colon cancer and ask if Cologuard could be right for you. Do not use if you have had a personal history of colorectal cancer or polyps, have inflammatory bowel disease, a family history of colorectal cancer, or certain hereditary syndromes, or a positive result from another colon cancer screening method within that tests recommended screening interval. This message is a paid partnership with Apple Card. Planning family trips can get chaotic, but my Apple Card makes things way easier. I applied right for my iPhone in as little as a minute and now I use it for everything travel related. I saw it in action when you picked up dinner last time I was in LA for your birthday. Well, you didn't have your wallet or your phone. Oh, my phone is in my pocket. But you love your Apple Card, right? Yes, because with Apple Card, I can spend, track my purchases, and earn up to 3% daily cash back when I use Apple Card with Apple Pay. No fuss. And that titanium card? Always a conversation starter. It's sleek, smart, and seriously useful. With the titanium card, I still earn daily cash back wherever Apple Pay isn't accepted. You know, for when I'm on the roads less traveled. Applying the Wallet app on your iPhone today. Subject to credit approval, Apple Card is issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA. Salt Lake City branch. Terms and more at AppleCard.com. In partnership with Airbnb, I'd like to share a travel story. Oh yeah, go for it, Sufi. You know what I like, Pashi? What's up? I like a neighborhood. Yeah, me too. You know what I mean? I like to feel like I'm traveling and I'm amongst the locals. I'm not near a chain restaurant that I have in my hometown, but I'm by a cafe that only those who live there and walk those cobbled streets are familiar with. And so when Alexi and I went to Paris on a vacation, we booked an apartment on Airbnb. What neighborhood were you in, Sufi? We were in the Marais, Pashi. Oh, the Marais. And if you haven't been to the Marais, I don't even know how to describe it to you. You know what they call it in Paris? What's that? La Marais. Or Le Marais. One of those. You've been. I haven't, but I would love to. And let me just tell you that it's just wonderful. You're just in a home that the owners have taken great care and attention to make comfortable for you on your vacation. And you're just amongst everyone. You're a me. That's friend, Pashi. Oh, you're a me. Yeah. Les amis. Booking a trip on Airbnb makes for a better trip. You could be traveling with family. You could be looking to discover authentic and local experiences. You could be taking a trip with a group of friends. A group of friends. Too les amis. Too les amis. Did you, I mean, so this is a solo trip and I feel like you take all kinds. Do you have a favorite kind of vacation? Like, is it solo? Is it with a big group of friends? Is it with a big group of family? Is it with someone you're romantically involved with? Okay, so my favorite kind of trip is groups. That's why I was so heavy in a Groupon. I was so heavy in a Groupon. I was so heavy in a Groupon for a long time and I'm still heavy into it. I still do Groupon vacations. Yeah. I like groups, strangers. Yeah, because then that's, I usually learn a lot. Groupon is still going, huh? Yeah, I still, I still use it. Yeah. Hello. You're single-handedly. You went to like China on a Groupon? Yeah, I went to China and Japan on a Groupon. I went to, hey, y'all laughing, but that was, it was off the chain. It was only $1,400. We got to stay at three and four star hotels. Which I think was two star hotels, but that's neither here nor there. With the exchange rate. I met some very intelligent people. I met an accountant who, an accountant gave me the advice to read the book, The Weekend Millionaire. And the accountant said, if you're doing movies and you think you're going to make it, you know, when you start making money, buy a piece of property every year for 15 years. And no matter what happens with their career, you'll be successful. They can never cancel you or stop you. If you have land, you'll be a multimillionaire, just even with 10 properties. And now I have like 17, because every time I do a movie, I do. But I'm housing foster kids, so I ain't making no money, but still. You got those houses. You got those properties. I got the property. I got, I got, I got. So where else have you done any other group? I can bail myself out of jail. Any other Groupon trips that you've done? Yeah. Yeah. So, um, I've gone to Catalina Island on a Groupon. I've gone to Victoria's Victoria Island on a Groupon. I've gone to Bermuda on a Groupon. So on those Groupons is, do you, I don't quite know how they work. Do you provide the group and they provide the Groupon? No, you do not provide the group. So what you do is you purchase, you purchase, so basically Groupon buys like a big travel package, right? Gotcha. They're not a sponsor. Let me stress, not a sponsor. Not a sponsor, but, but they're interested. Yeah. They're interested anytime Tiffany's on. Well, you know, I, I invested in them. I bought stock in them when it, before fame it was like 2014, I was like, I'm going to get me some damn stock in this. Cause this, I liked this. I was getting my hair done, getting facials, getting pedicures, manicures. Don't look at my toes today. Cause I didn't get one. Cause I couldn't find a nail shop. I would get massages. Like it was my first time, like getting a professional massage was through a Groupon. Otherwise I was getting massages from guys. They were like, you seem stressed. Why don't guys do that anymore? I'm fucking really stressed now. No, no, no guys like you need me to rub your shoulders. Nobody does that anymore. Cause it's like, ah, me too, shit used to do it all the time. Yeah. It is the silent cost of me too. No more free massages. No more free. So Bermuda for example, you go to, you go to Bermuda on a Groupon. How big is your group that you're with? So, okay. So the Groupons, the ones I get usually include the plane ticket and the hotel. Right. And there's like activities you can add onto it. So it depends on what you purchase. So I get the Groupon for the, for the hotel and the plane ticket and I go. And then, um, if I buy the package, that's when you meet all the group, right? That's when you meet the other people. And so in, if they're taking you like on tours and stuff, it might be 20, it might be a hundred. It might be 50. You don't know. Yeah. You just show up. Yeah. I mean, Bermuda is like famously, we actually talked about this last night in our Philly show, but you have to ride mopeds around that Island. Were you riding a moped around? No, darling. I was in a little minivan, darling. Very good. Very good. Well, he, he can't ride a moped. Yeah, no, I would not want him. I had to ride on the back of Josh's moped. It was real cool. So it was like you guys were kids again. Yeah. Except fully grown, which makes it a lot less charming. Yeah. And you were sitting on the back, not the handlebars. No, I was sitting on the back with a big old dumb helmet, arms, arms wrapped around my brother's midsection looking like each other. We were going so fast. We're like, I'm like go fast. So it just looks like one person. Did you, and those moments like where you first saw the group you're with on a group on, have you always, do you clock in that moment? Yeah. Like, I think it's a good group or I think it's a bad group. Yeah. I, I literally, within the first 10 minutes, I decide who I'm gonna hang out with. If I don't bring any of my friends, if I like do an individual, like an independent trip, I'll decide like within the first, like probably four or five minutes, like, and I'll just be like looking at people, reading their energy, see how they stand, see how they look at other people. You know, you can tell a lot about a person just by the way they're dressed, their body language, how they look at you when they first look at you. Like I'm, I, I show, cause usually I'm the only black person. So I show up and I'm like, like me, this, this one, me and her, we would be hanging out. We'd be cackling. I learned all about her life. She learned about mine and we would become friends for life. Like I have friends that I have made on these group on trips. That will be my friends forever. That's fantastic. Cause it's a way to meet people like from all over, like all over the country, all over America they come from. And so then whenever I go to like Tennessee, I see my girl Carol. When I go up to, when I go to Michigan, I see Pervieve. Like it just, it just, it just depends, you know? That's fantastic. I'm gonna put my glasses back on this light with my allergies. Go for it. Go for it. You, you worked for airlines before you hit it big. Yes. Customer service, darling. You worked for American airlines, Alaska airlines, you worked for air New Zealand. But we didn't talk about, have you been to New Zealand? Yes, I have. Where'd you go? What'd you do there? I was in Auckland. new zealand and i didn't go too many places okay did was it a pollen situation no i was visiting a friend okay interesting i was in my you know terrible twos you flew all the way to new zealand to visit a friend well he was a rugby player they give very good back rubs bang and a few other things too they don't be having no teeth so it'd be real nice strong muscles built like a ox walk around with you on his hip if you want to on his neck with no teeth and when you you would call it a scrum what you guys were doing was a scrum you if you say so that's a really i mean so is that uh that's pre so where is that in your life that you're going to auckland you meet a guy here you meet where did you meet i met him at the airport i was working for air new zealand i was doing customer service at the ticket counter um and a lot of times these rugby players you know they would come to america and play games against different like you know people you know they would come to america and play games against different like you know people and i would check them in and i you know and check them out yeah that's right he he liked he like me i like him that's great how long were you in auckland uh for like five days great yeah and when you left were you like that might be the last time well when i left i was like dang i didn't see a koala bear or nothing but i feel like i've been fucked like a koala have you ever seen koala sex it's crazy really yeah i posted a video of a little foreplay they do um what do they do for foreplay what do they do for what what do we do for foreplay what do humans do for foreplay same same so i kind of but they're a little more violent um it depends on the relationship but the the that's like the only time they like activate like they have a lot of energy and stuff it's like when the male koala comes around and then he has to like fight the woman a little bit to like prove his strength and everything because you know she don't want no weak ass man if i'm gonna get pregnant like i'm gonna get pregnant i'm a weak dude and nobody nobody i can beat up and so they like wrestle around a little bit and then once she submit then he like go down on her and they do it i definitely i would be very disappointed if i made a trip that long and didn't see a koala but i would also be a little relieved i didn't see that yeah well when you see it you realize why they got chlamydia they do they do kind of famously have chlamydia from our last conversation i also know that you're uh you're very pro alien yes and you see all the stuff that's been coming out since the last we talked yeah there's been a lot coming out and everything i don't know if it's ai or what but i feel like i'm gonna give me an alien husband have you ever done any alien tourism have you gone anywhere where there's maybe i mean i've been i've been i've been i've been to arizona i've been in new mexico and uh i might have walked into some weird gift shop museum things okay yeah but nothing like no no okay yeah nothing like i'm gonna go find aliens today right yeah yeah and what is your we talked about the grand canyon uh giants giants you're the the your uh uh theory is that giants live there now it's not our theory it's it was in the arizona sentinel i believe yeah it was you saw that i after you said it i read it yeah giants live in the grand canyon bro what can you feel underground they live underground they got whole kingdoms and queendoms down there in the grand canyon in the grand what did the why don't nobody look why okay look first of all no no shade to nobody in here but y'all know how y'all like to take over stuff and move into everything especially like just colonize you know what i'm saying yeah why they ain't colonized the grand canyon i don't know because because they worked out a deal with the giants they're like look we'll stay our giant ass inside the canyon if you stay the fuck out of here otherwise we coming out we eating y'all oh it's a deal bring us 10 babies every month no no where are all the kids going bro they didn't go missing missing all the time where they all going not the grand canyon she you uh you talked about uh cruise ships you're not a fan why y'all laughing these giants is eating the baby and this is how i'm gonna become the president by the way you gotta say by the way you gotta say that one would make headlines yeah the giants are eating the babies they're gonna be like shaquille o'neal you uh by the way josh you did read this arizona sentinel i did how far afield did we go from what was written in the article i mean no that's well they don't talk about babies right uh well that's in a youtube video i'm gonna send you later yeah uh yeah well that's how you know they don't just put anything on youtube i would love to see your youtube search history i think it would be amazing do you want to hear it give us give us the yeah give us your last five my last five on the youtube search it's all koala stuff okay so um i i youtubed you guys family trip and i watched our video and just to just to refresh my memory uh i searched for myself okay yeah i watched me in court the other day i i was like i don't know why people think i was trying to be funny i was dead fucking serious uh and then i want a pretty face pretty bank account videos like manifestation videos uh so it's like songs and stuff that make money come to you and you can have a pretty face pretty bank account how to how to redesign your kitchen because i'm going to redesign my kitchen yeah um and then um how to install a thermostat uh because i i did that this is not as interesting as i thought no no no i like it i like the diy of it though yeah yeah yeah are you really putting in a thermostat yeah i put it in okay i installed it very well i can you want me to you want me to show you i can control the temperature from my phone no no no for years i've been having to do a switch oh yeah the slider you know the slider switch like from the 1900s but i'm gonna hit upgrade it yeah yeah the rest is just you know uh how to win a court case that shows a lot of confidence in your legal team why is it why isn't my mirror why why oh why oh oh i so i have a mirror wall unit air conditioning and it wasn't getting cold and so i said why isn't my my mirror wall unit air conditioning getting cold and then i got videos on how to clean the filters so i cleaned the filters myself uh ricky lake what happened to her does zendaya have any drama uh yeah like these are just the things that are occurring to you while you're cleaning a mirror filter wait wait wait because i knew that i was taking a plea deal how to stop how to hypnotize yourself to stop smoking weed and i know i'm going to texas soon so i really don't want no problems uh how do you lower blood pressure quickly at home how do you lower blood pressure quickly at home before doctor visit and i tried it it worked yes yes i took my blood pressure before because like i'm on blood pressure cuff because black people that's what we get um when you get to 40 you got to get a blood pressure cuff and so um i took my blood pressure and it was pretty freaking high it was like i was like how am i alive right now it was like triple digits at the low in the top it was crazy and so i was like i go googled it i looked it up on youtube and then um it said wall squats wall squats will bring your blood pressure down so i wall squatted for three minutes let me tell you something my thighs are amazing and um it burned a lot but then i took my blood pressure again and it was normal and so uh right before i went into the doctor's office in the lobby in the lobby down by the elevators i was like oh my god i'm gonna die before my appointment and then people was like are you okay miss haddish what's going on with you miss i was like thank you for knowing who i am do you need any help i was like i'm good up against the wall i'm just chilling i'm just seeing what's going on in the lobby it is a fascinating uh instinct to try to like trick your own doctor yeah because you know i hate when the doctor has anything negative to say to me because most people would think the best thing would be for my doctor to know the truth your baseline fuck that shit the doctor don't doctors say everybody lies to them anyway Look, I told him when I got in there, I said, look, my blood pressure been high all week, but let's see what happens today. Maybe maybe I'm better. And I was perfect. Great. He's like, I have a camera in the hallway. I saw you doing wall squats. Yeah. So I know how to heal myself. We were talking a cruise. Cruises came up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you were saying that you've enjoyed cruises, but there's a cruise that you've not enjoyed. Right. So I was saying what I was saying was I'm not a big fan of cruises. And I think if I went on a cruise, maybe just with my girls or by myself, I probably would like cruises. But every time I've ever gone on a cruise ship, it's been with a man and they be trying to control me. And I don't like that. Because it seems like how do they try to control you on a cruise ship? Because it feels like a pretty controlled environment to begin with. Right. You want to vote. Yeah. Well, like, OK, so, you know how sometimes the cruises be having like live bands? Yeah, sure. Like when you're walking through to like the corridor, there might be some over there just playing music. And I'm the type of person, if you're playing a song that I like, I'm going to stop. I'm going to sing and I'm going to dance. Yeah. Some men are embarrassed by that. And they don't like it. It seems like they've made a terrible choice. Yeah, I don't know. I'm like, why would you date me? Why would you even bring me anywhere where there is live music and the opportunity to dance? Because I'm going to do it. And then I would like, I eat a lot. Like, I know it doesn't seem like it, but back, especially back in my terrible twos and early threes, I ate a lot of food and I would go back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. They would be done like, OK, let's go. I'm like, wait, I need one more plate. Because it's buffet life. It's buffet living on a cruise. Yeah, yeah. And then I would also, I always, no, I shouldn't tell that. OK, fuck it. I had a Tupperware thing in my bag. Because in the middle of the night you want a snack, right? But then it's like, you don't want me walking around this ship in the middle of the night looking for food, do you? So I fill up my little Tupperware thing and then be all mad about that. Like, you making it like we poor. Like, first of all, I pay for this fucking cruise. With the goddamn Groupon I got. Hey, we're going to take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors. Support comes from HIMS. Hey, Bajie. Hey, Sufi. Hey, if you've got weight loss goals, the summer is a time to actually hit them. Weight Loss by HIMS is designed to support you every step of the way. And now HIMS offers access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP-1 medications, including the Wegovi pill and the Wegovi pen. So you can lose the weight and keep it off. With Wegovi at HIMS, lose up to $20. 20% of your body weight when combined with diet and exercise. It helps you regulate your appetite, eat less, and keep weight off. Plus, Wegovi is the first ever GLP-1 pill for weight loss. So there are no needles needed. Through HIMS, everything happens online. You'll connect with a licensed provider who will determine if treatment is right for you. If prescribed, your medication is delivered right to your door. No insurance necessary. And it doesn't stop there. HIMS makes hitting your goals seamless by offering access to 24-7 messaging with your care team and in-app lifestyle and nutrition support. Like recipes, meal plans, fitness videos, sleep content, and more. Even better, with a range of affordable GLP-1 options, HIMS make it simple to find a weight loss approach that fits into your world and your wallet. If eligible. You'll get a treatment plan personalized to you and unlimited dosage changes as needed. Ready to reach your goals? Visit HIMS.com slash trips to get a personalized affordable plan that gets you. That's H-I-M-S dot com slash trips. HIMS dot com slash trips. I applied right for my iPhone in as little as a minute, and now I use it for everything travel related. I saw it in action when you picked up dinner last time I was in L.A. for your birthday. Oh, my phone was in my pocket. Yes, because with Apple Card, I can spend, track my purchases, and earn up to 3% daily cash back when I use it. Apple Card with Apple Pay. No fuss. You know, for when I'm on the roads, less traveled. Subject to credit approval, Apple Card is issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City branch. In partnership with Airbnb. I'd like to share a travel story. Oh, yeah. Go for it, Sufi. What's up? Yeah, me too. Oh, the Marais. What's that? La Marais or Le Marais. One of those. You've been. You're just in a home that the owners have taken. Great care and attention to make comfortable for you on your vacation. You're a me. It's friend, Pashi. Oh, you're a me. Les amis. Les amis. A group of amis. To les amis. You have a trip coming up. You're going on a girl's trip. I'm going on a girl's trip to Mallorca. Very exciting. Are you very excited? Have you ever been to Mallorca? I have not been to Mallorca ever. Okay. And I'm very excited about it. And I'm going with a group of female comedians, which is, I think this is the first time, for me anyways, ever experiencing anything like this, where we're not going to perform. We're literally just going to have a good time and relax. That seems like it would be a lovely. And it strikes me that you, and again, based on my interactions with you, you're a comedian that's very fun to be around because you are both very funny, but I think you also enjoy other people being funny. I love other people being funny. I love watching other people shine. It's my favorite thing in the world. That's why I try to create platforms to watch my friends shine. I think it's the most awesomest thing to have friends that are talented and gifted and where I don't have to do, I don't have to be the entertainment. I literally. I really can just shut the fuck up and watch my friends. And it is the best in the world. I love it. I love seeing talented people. It brings me so much joy. What are you hoping to do in Mallorca? I'm sure, like, just some sitting around, just chatting. That's hard to beat. But are there things that you want to do in Mallorca? Well, we're getting on a yacht. We're yachting, which I'm really excited about the yacht life. I'm like, oh my God, we got to get a yacht. You were saying that you, what was it that you saw? Wait, wait, wait. It's a YouTube video coming out. No, hold up. Oh, it just autoplays if it's something you think you'll like? Yeah, it said black families having issues. And it just came up. Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. You saw something as a young girl. Yeah. As a kid, I watched Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. And I remember, I'll never forget seeing the pretty girls jump off the yacht into the ocean. And to me, I used to say to my, the little girl, Tiffany, little Tiffany used to be like, I know I'm going to make it win. I'll jump. I'll jump off the side of a yacht. That means I made it. That's how I know I'm a big star. When I jump off a yacht into the ocean. And I did it twice. That's fantastic. And you got thirds coming up. And the third time coming up with my girls. But I don't even know who all the girls is. Okay. So Chelsea Handler invited me. Right. And I'm like, oh, I'm so excited about this. And then I'm like, who all going? And she was like, don't worry. Yamanika will be there. And I'm like. Bitch, who else is going? She was like, don't worry. Yamanika. Like, basically. And Yamanika is another comedian that's a black woman. And it's like she brought a pet for me or something. Like, you won't be alone. Don't worry. It'll be Yamanika. Don't worry. But you think it's going to be like eight of you? Something like that? Yeah. I think it's going to be. Yes. Eight of us. She said it's going to be about eight to nine people. And it'll be a lot of fun. Right. And so we're bike riding, yachting. We are going dancing. And she said she got a bunch. She got a bunch of activities. She got a bunch of activities for us to do, which I love. I mean, I'm usually planning trips. I'm usually like deciding what everybody's doing. So when somebody else does it, it's like so great. And then she's like, no, no, you know, no. What's that word y'all be using when? No pressure. No pressure. If you don't want to participate. No pressure. If you want to just stay in the house. That's a thing that no pressure to you is like a white person expression. Yeah. That's all I hear. Say that to me. Black people stay in the house. That's the way I apply impression. But it feels like more pressure when somebody say, no pressure. And then it's like, oh, all the fucking pressure. But you strike me as somebody who's in for any activity if there's an activity. Yeah, I'm down for whatever as long as it doesn't feel like I'm going to die. Yeah. And maybe then still I might try it. What's the riskiest thing you've done on a vacation? Jump off the side of a bridge, off a bungee cord, jumping off the side of a bridge with my friend and then enjoying it so much doing it by myself. Where did you do the bridge jump bungee? In Zimbabwe. Okay. Yeah, I did it on my TV show, Tiffany Haddish Goes Off. And did you have any hesitation about it? Like once you saw it, were you like, all right, I'm going to do it? Let me tell you what made me not hesitate. When we pulled up, there was a dude that looked like he was pregnant. You know I'm talking about when you see the man that got that hard beer belly, like it's just like they barely stick out further than anything else. Like, you know, he ain't seen his penis. And he got to look in the mirror to see his dick. He got to pull his stomach up and look in the mirror. That kind of thing. I seen him jumping off the side of the thing. I said, oh, I'm good. I can do this. He didn't die. I'm going to be all right. And you really, so I will, that is something that I cannot fathom ever doing. But can you tell me how much time do you have to think about it before, you know, the sproing happens? We had like a whole hour, maybe an hour and a half to think about it. Yeah. It was funny because my bestie, Selena, she did not want to do it at first. She's like, I'm too big. I can't do this. I'm too big. I'm like, girl, I don't think you're too big. You saw what we, did you see what we just seen? Did you see that man? You're not too big. She was like, I don't know. What if something happens? I'm like, shoot, the network going to take care of the kids and everything. You're going to be good. If we die, we're going to be good. I was like, let's go together the first time. Let's do it together. So we did it together because it's like it kind of was like very symbolic of our friendship and our relationship. Because since. Since we were 12 years old, we've known each other and we have always taken big risk and done like wild shit. And like we come out on the other end. Okay. And it's not even that wild. But in our world, it's like, why would you do that? Why would you ride your bikes to Watts? And then Watts is like at that time, this is 1900s. You know, it was dangerous. It's not like it is now all gentrified and scarier. It is scary. Like, why that little white boy riding on the bike by himself? Where he going? Like, anyways. Yeah. So it was very symbolic of our friendship to like jump off that bridge together. And it was so much. Which part is fun? The part. We're like, just because I'm genuinely curious. Make some noise if you've done a bungee. Yeah, I have. Oh, wow. So it's way less than. I thought it would have been so much. I did. I will say I thought it'd be more, too. But I'm actually I feel like. They don't have group. I feel like that's the right. That's the right number from what I think as far. But like, which part is fun? Like, when you realize when you when you bounce back up or on the way down. Like, I think the part. The whole thing is fun because, you know, it's kind of like a scary movie. Yeah. You know, or like when you go like to a haunted house, like, you know, you're not going to die. But you still are like, yeah, you feel more alive. And it's like all this adrenaline rushing. And when we win, like, I honestly thought she was going to quit right before we like fell out. Like, like, went like step took that step off. It's like just step forward. And I put one foot out and I thought she was going to like be like, no, no, no. But she didn't say no, no, no. And then it was like, step the other foot off. And I was like, we're looking at each other. It's like. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's like if I was going to die with anybody, I would want to die with her. Like, she's my best, best friend. And I would love to be in line with her when we when they decide. Do you go to heaven? Do you go to hell? Of course, the odds that like both of you would die on two different. I mean, if no, we were together. We were tandem. Oh, on the same one. Oh, yeah. That increases the odds. That increase. Yeah. Yeah. We was together. That's a good way. My braids. My braids hit her in the fucking face. I had long braids. They hit her like we were together. What is what's underneath you when you're doing that? Is there like a river or just. Yeah, the river was there. The river. What's the name of that dang river? We were in Alhadi. It's where Zimbabwe and. What? Zambezi. Yeah, it's the Zambezi River. Yeah, that's what was right there. They have alligators in there. And then you can see like little monkeys on the wall, on the on the on the cliffs, like just watching like it. They don't die today. You really like the way you look at it. It's like it's an adventure show for people and it's a prank show for alligators who like every day are like. And you have you have Eritrean citizenship, correct? Yes, I do. I have dual citizenship. Have you have you been back there recently? Yeah. Well, recently, no, no, not in the last like two years. OK. All right. Well, then we. We've talked about it, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Two passports. Do you have an Eritrean passport? No, I have a green card. I got an Eritrean green card. OK, gotcha. Gotcha. You take a group trip to Hawaii once a year. Yes. Every year in December, I go on this group trip with it's like it's an entertainment group, you know, like entertainment group. And it's super fun. I learn a lot every time. And that's another one of those trips. I don't have to plan out at all. And at first. We'll be like all these like directors and like the owner of Panavision and the owner of this. And here's the HBO executives and this executive, that executive. In the last two years, it's been kind of like I'm like, I don't know if I want to do this trip anymore. I feel like I'm the most famous and most powerful person. Yeah. I want somebody, you know, so I made some phone calls and I invited Viola Davis. It's a good Rolodex. Kerry Washington. That's a good list. I was like, y'all should come. Come on, bring your kids and stuff. It'll be fun in December. Yeah. Then they're not. They have not responded to my text message at all. And what? I sent them the thing like this, like a little thing that goes a newsletter that goes out to everybody that goes. And I feel like kids would find you a very magnetic on a vacation. Our kids. Do they want to be around you? Do they? Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to be around kids? Yeah. I'm cool with them. I mean, do I want to be around them for more than an hour? No. Yeah. But a good hour with kids. With kids makes a huge impact. Yeah. It makes a huge difference. And a lot of times, you know, a lot of people that come on that trip, they bring their kids and then like they will hang out with me. Like we'll be hanging out at the pool or I'll be like, I'm going to the beach. And the kids like, I want to go to the beach. And they're like, Mama, can I go with Tiffany to the beach? And I'm like, hey, only if you come with me. I'm not going to be responsible for all these little white kids. And at first they were just like, go ahead, just follow her. And I'll be like, I wouldn't leave because I'm like, no, you come too. Tell me, I'm not just walking around here with your kids. Because people will probably say I stole them or something. And so they will have to come with me. She's working. You know, she's working for the Giants. Yeah. She's working for the Grand Canyon Giants. Someone's got to feed them. Yeah. Otherwise, they're going to come out of the canyon. A procural service. The Grand Canyon Giants. I'm dropping kids off. So real quick, because we are going to ask questions as well. And Tiffany, you're going to stay. I'm going to stay for questions. Yes, I am. But we do want to run through the questions. Now, this is the third time we've had a beloved guest back. And so Josh is going to ask you the question, but also check them against your previous answers to see if you, Tiffany Haddish, have changed. Yeah, let's see if I've changed. Yeah. And there is one new question as well. So you can't go wrong there. You can only pick one of these. Is your ideal vacation relaxing, adventurous, or educational? All of them. I want to relax. Like, the first day I get to, like, when I go on vacation, when I first get there, I sleep for as long as possible. First day is just rest. Then after that, it's like adventure. And like, yeah, I want to learn something in the process. Like, yeah. That's a match. Yeah. And also, it speaks to how much we love you that the question truly begins, you can only pick one. And I never get one. What is your favorite meme? What is your favorite means of transportation? You know, I wish I could just appear places. Teleport. I think that's what I always say, teleport. But airplanes, fine. Previously, you said teleport, but then you went to airplane. If you could take a vacation with any family, alive or dead, real or fictional, other than your own family, what family would you like to take a vacation with? What family? What family got the big, the nicest, the Hiltons? That's a match. No, I'll keep it 100. And Paris did just recently invite me to something, so I'm like, yes, bitch, let's go! If you had to be stranded on a desert island with one member of your family, who would it be? Thank you. We got some, we got a, no. It'd be my little brother, my baby brother. He would be the best to be on the island with because he's strong and we could get off that island because he do what I tell him to do and we going to build us a fucking boat. He'll figure out how to cut the trees down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, my baby brother. That's a match. He's obedient. That's a match. This is a new one. What's a dream destination for a family vacation? A dream destination for a family vacation? My family? Yeah, somewhere you've never been where you'd love to take your whole family. I know that taking your whole family is a whole ball of wax, but. Yeah, because half of them don't got passports, but I would love to take my whole, there's two places I would love to take my whole family. I'd love to take my whole family to Eritrea so they can see where my father come from and they have a better understanding of me because I feel like once you go there, then you understand, like so many, like. You think like culture is learned or whatever, but also I think some things are inherited and the way I do things is so different than the way that my family does things. And once I went to Eritrea, I realized like, yo, this is in my blood. This is why I like to eat with my left hand with no fork. I'm just like, I'm putting my hand in. Like it's just certain things. So that, or Fiji, like Fiji papillete, Tewi, Ritanga, those islands, those Polynesian islands, I'd love to take my family there. All right. You are from South Central Los Angeles. Yep. If you wanted to get more families to come visit South Central LA, what would you tell them about South Central? I would tell them that we are about to get a five-star hotel right off an exposition in Buckingham. I would tell them that there is this brand new museum that just opened right next to USC that is absolutely, if you, if you ever come to LA, you have to go to South Central and you need to go to this museum. And I hear sometimes like you have to make a reservation. Is this the new George Lucas? Yes. It is so dope. It looks crazy. It is so dope. It's the Museum of Narrative Arts, I believe. And no one knows what that means yet. Yeah. Well, narrative, which is to narrate, is to speak. So this is a place, if you don't know how to read, if you don't know how to read, you will still be entertained. And amused at the museum because the museum is where you go to monitor amusements. Yeah. Yeah. Arts. And you see things, which is the musee. Musee. I'm all. And I would suggest when you come to South Central LA, you have to go to Doolin's off of Crenshaw. And then I'm opening a grocery, store there. So when my store open, you got to come to my grocery store. Yeah. All right. I mean, things are changing in South Central. Previously, you said get one of the great Airbnb, rent a great Airbnb. Well, I was getting ready to say that next. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Because there's a lot of historical homes in South Central LA. I personally have two and those are over 100 years old, built 1924 and 1923. And I'm refurbishing one really, really nice. And I'm going to put it up on the market. I'm going to call it, the girl's trip house and that can like come Airbnb and you can stay right next door to me. And I'm going to come over and I'm going to talk. She eat your food. Seth has her final question, but we know it. How have you been to the Grand Canyon? You know, have I been to the Grand Canyon? I've been through it through the Grand Canyon and I can't. I mean, I ain't been any, you know, the Giants didn't invite me yet. But when I get my personal invitation, I'm going to be up in there. What are you going to call? Have you come up with a name for your grocery store? Is it? Just it's going to be called diaspora groceries. That's because we're all a part of the diaspora. Unless you are a Native American. We all come from somewhere else. Some of us might have been here for 100 years. Some of us might have been here for three, 400 years. But your initial bloodline started somewhere else. And you came here and that's what diaspora means. When a culture has been displaced and moved to a new place and that's that's what America is, a melting pot of different cultures. And so this grocery store, you know, when I tell you it's going to be a bomb, you're going to love it. Well, we're so lucky you came here. And give it up for Tiffany Havish. Tiffany Havish, everybody. Nobody like her. And all right, so we have our producer, Jeff, is over there. I see the traffic pattern is going to be a little tricky. So let's be patient with Jeff. Oh, man, this looks like Hogwarts. Yeah, but it is-- you know what? It's-- It's like a tight version of Hogwarts. It's like, what is this seating? And it's Hogwarts seating. You're right. Yeah, this is like-- this is like a Hogwarts reunion. Yeah. It's only one or two black people in here, just like the school of-- It's the 25th anniversary of Harry Potter. Oh, my god, it is Hogwarts. Oh, my god. You guys have done so well. Everybody thought they'd do better because they were wizards. And then they didn't think it would be a city winery. All right, here we go. Hands up. And there we go. Jeff is going to find some people. And-- oh, he's-- Jeff's doing well. He's doing well. Jeff had to get a little dry run in Philly to get a little-- Sorry, I didn't think that'd be so fast. OK, I went on a family trip in June to Alaska for my cousin's wedding. Wow. We landed Thursday morning. And by Thursday night, there was no more wedding. Oh. Wow. Who slept with who? What happened? That's a long way to go for that. Really long, really long. I used to work for Alaska Airlines, so I've been to Alaska. You know, it needs to be a reason to be there. Yeah. So can I ask a quick question? Absolutely. Did you-- how many people at the wedding, if you had a lasso of truth around them, would be like, I was always surprised they were getting married in the first place? So-- so-- So they were actually-- they eloped last year. OK. This was the celebration. Gotcha. And don't use their names, because I'm sure they will think another couple this happened to. Of course, of course. If they hear it, they'll be like, it's not us. There was another couple that eloped, and then a year later called off their wedding on a Thursday in Alaska. Well, it was for-- they did a bachelor and bachelorette party two days before the wedding. Oh. This is a stripper situation, isn't it? And they did boys and girls, and the men went into the woods. OK. With-- they shot at homemade bombs on the river, because Alaska. Yeah. And then on the way back up, the groom got in an ATV accident. Oh, no. And got phoned. Sorry, it's not funny, but also. So he got flown to Seattle. OK. So we got an email in the morning saying there was no wedding. Gotcha. So it wasn't that the wedding got called off. Oh, that's not juicy. So I thought the wedding got called off, and instead there was just a terrible accident. And I now-- Drunk driving sounds like to me. Yeah. I will say it's kind of amazing when the injury happened at a different part of a day where you also shot at bombs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So did you have a nice time in Alaska, aside from-- It honestly freed us up a lot. Yeah. So we got to go to the Midnight Sun Festival. Yeah. It was a good time. All right. My birthday was the next day. That's great. I've never heard a story where I have no idea what the moral is. Yeah. I really can't put my finger on what the moral of this story is, but I am very happy that you share it. Thank you. And yeah, you know, to that couple, God bless. Thank you. God bless. All right, here comes Jeff with the mic. Hands up if you got one. There we go. Hi, it's just a really quick question. Josh, are you sad that you missed totality of the-- I am. I am. I had tickets to go to-- there was a festival in Iceland yesterday, and Bjork was DJing during the solar eclipse. The totality. I don't know. Have you seen a full solar eclipse? Yes, I have. I've been on the planet long enough, although I do identify as 21, but-- I've never seen a full solar eclipse. I'm desperate to see it. And then I watched video. Bjork's outfit is incredible, but it was overcast. I watched a video that this girl had posted, and it seemed like it was OK to miss it. OK. I'm still desperate to see a totality. Yeah, I would say go to the next one. What? Did you make a wish? During a solar eclipse, you're supposed to make a wish? No, I was doing a show in Philly. Oh, man. Yeah. But I'm desperate to see it. I'm confident that I will cry when it happens. Have you seen one? I imagine it's very emotional, and I-- They didn't have you do that in elementary school, where you had to make the little box, the box-- But I want a full-- yeah, I've done that. I've seen a partial. I wanted to blot out everything. It's so weird, because in that moment, it is like-- Yeah. Yeah. A job. I didn't think it would do that. And-- It would less so for you. since you spent four days in a cave. It's great. I love being in the dark. The moment it all goes dark, you'll be like, okay. Also, I work for Alaska Airlines. I've been up there in the wintertime when there's no sun. The sun only comes out for like two hours. Yeah. Up in Alaska. Yeah. Great. Jeff, actually, real quick. We do have another sponsor. We have a local business that's starting up in Bedford, New Hampshire. It's called the Pied Pooper. My friend, Matt Coburn, over here. Can you just give the microphone? Hey, buddy. Matt and I met in fourth grade when I moved to New Hampshire. I was just up in New Hampshire and was like, hey, I'm going to go take our dog for a walk. You have a dog. You pulled up in this truck. It says the Pied Pooper on it. Yes. Tell us a little bit about the Pied Pooper. We pick up dog poop in Bedford, New Hampshire. If anyone's interested in some dog waste removal services, you can call the Pied Pooper. Do you have a website? Yeah, piedpooper.com. And what's the license plate on your truck? The license plate is Scooper. Okay, great. And it's your lawn without the landmines, as I believe you're saying? That's exactly right, Josh. So if you're in the Bedford, New Hampshire area and you need your dog waste picked up, please consider the Pied Pooper. Yes. Family Trips is brought to you by Pied Pooper. Yeah. Yeah. The sponsorship was a 50-50 split between Airbnb and the Pied Pooper. He has business cards. It is a real thing. This is happening. That could be really strange. What if somebody's like, yeah, I need you to come inside my house. The dog's pooped everywhere in here. Oh, yeah. Just like a woman in a bathrobe. Like, oh, no, there's been an accident in the bedroom. Yeah. The dog pooped everywhere. The dog pooped in the bed. It's Amber Heard. Sorry. Sorry, imagination. Back here. Yeah, there we go. This is a really stupid question. If you could design a hotel, what would it be like? Like, what would make it unique? And most importantly, how much would you charge for it? Okay. This is like. So, a full business plan. Yeah. And how many nights minimum stay? What would be a thing I would design? So, I felt very strongly. I just want different shaped doors. I feel like we've gotten real used to the shape of doors, and it's a great job. I get really excited where I'm somewhere where the doors are a little different. So, I'd lean into that. Yeah. You're not a big Lord of the Rings guy, but you've always loved the doors and the shire. I do. I think shire doors, a million dollars a night. I'd like to invest in that idea. Thank you. My hotel would have. It would be like you walked into a mermaid's castle. And it'd be like. It'd feel like you were under the sea. It'd be like aquariums all around. And then when you get into your room, it might be like fish over your head or something. But like not dangling off the wall, like paper, like the kids make. It would be real, like maybe a. Real fish. It'd be real fish. Yeah, real fish. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, real fish. And a waterbed. All the rooms would have waterbeds. Have you ever stayed at an ice hotel? No. Why would I do that? That's cold. I don't know, but you've been in a cave. I just feel like. But the cave wasn't cold. Yeah. But like every now and then, like we've gone to, you know, Scandinavia, and I feel like those are those ice hotels. And I. Until I stay at one, I just don't. I'm never going to. Is that your native country? My. Our mother is Swedish blood. Yeah. So. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You look like it. Yeah. No, I would stay at an ice hotel. Got to handle the cold. I cannot. All right. Who's next? I think Jeff's in the back with somebody. So my family and I went to Puerto Rico, and my sister peed on an iguana. Intentionally? No, but if you think about sisters, she's my older sister, a little uptight. I'm the middle, and I have a younger sister. So it was all of us, and all of a sudden, we rented this house. We're in there. I have my niece and nephews, my sister, her husband, my husband who's here, and we hear a screech. It is the. It is the loudest screech we have ever heard, and she comes running out because she went the bathroom, and she peed in the toilet, as you do, on the iguana. So because we rented this place, we're like, oh, my God, what are we going to do? There's an iguana in the toilet. Oh, my God. So we ended up calling. Like, the maintenance guy or whoever was, like, in charge of the rental, and he was like, yeah, this happens all the time. Like, he was not concerned at all, but all of us were like, oh, my God, there's an iguana in the toilet. What do we do? So he's like, all right, what you need to do is you got to take a bucket of water and pour it in the toilet. And let the iguana run out. And, of course, my two sisters were like, I'm not doing that. So I was like, all right. The toilet didn't flush? What's that? You couldn't flush the toilet? When you put a bucket of water in it, it means that there's no running water. No, this iguana was huge. I don't know how it got up, but it wasn't going to. It couldn't go through the pipes. Man, oh, man. So did you have to. So you had to fill it high enough that the iguana could get out? Yeah. So I was like, all right, sisters, I'm the middle. I'm the peacekeeper. I'm going to take care of it. I dumped it in. It scurried out. And we now have this video of my sister being like, ah, and the iguana, like, running out the door. And we send it all the time. We're like, remember when this happened? Now, this is. You're going to think this is crazy. Matt also has a company called Iwana Iguana Ghana. We might need that. And the next time you need it, just give him a call. It's based in Puerto Rico. He has very localized things based on what people need picked up the most. All right. I'll give him a ring. Thanks. All right. We're going to get the next one here. Here comes Jeff. I see Jeff lurking. He's coming down. Here he is. Here he is. There he is. Hi. Hello. I have a Puerto Rico story, too. All right. So we're in Puerto Rico. It's Easter. Easter Sunday. We go to this, like, random town. We park the rental car in a parking lot that's, like, dirt. We go. We have some food. We come back. And we're blocked in. So cars have parked, like, perpendicular to us. And we can't back out. So on the other side of this dirt parking lot is a mud parking lot. It's full of mud. It's just there's no cars parked there. It's just mud, mud, mud, mud. My husband's like, I'm going to go through the mud. And I said, I don't support this. We're going to get stuck. This is the end. It's Easter. We're not going to be able to get a tow. This is a disaster. He's like, I'm doing it. We got this. So he pulls into the mud. We get stuck. We get stuck immediately. Like, immediately. Ten minutes spinning the wheels. We're gathering debris. You know, it's like hurricane debris everywhere. So we're getting, like, pieces of wood, bags. We're putting them under the thing. Crowds are gathering. I'm like, I'm going to call AAA. My husband's like, no, we got this. Everybody's watching. My son and I just get out of the car. We left the scene. We're, like, mortified. I'm like, can I just ask somebody for help, please? No, we can do it. We can do it. So finally, some, like, really nice guys are like, we're going to pull you out. So they call some people. This is, like, ours. They call some people. They've got some ropes. They finally, like, pull us out of this mud trench. My husband is still, like, so embarrassed. But the most amazing thing is, is the guy who pulled us out is from Massachusetts. Oh, my God. So he was from, he was born in Puerto Rico, living in Springfield, down there to visit his parents. For Easter. And we got rescued by somebody from Massachusetts. That is fantastic. That is fantastic. And just, he must have known, like, I bet when he saw the car in the mud, he's like, I bet this is a mass hole. This is one of mine. I got to get him out because he's one of mine. This is, I got to handle this. This is, there's one, there's a bunch of hands down here, Jeff. Come down. A question. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. great companies like Adidas and Puma Aldi's and Trader Joe's when you guys inevitably have Liam and Noel Gallagher blow out who will split mid show and what will your podcast be called oh interesting they're not split maybe it's just on a moped together Josh is going to be called no shotgun the lonely vegan I think might be yeah I think Seth is I don't know I think Seth's more ornery when we are recording sometimes I think you are I'm more ornery but like in the pre record yeah in the pre and the post I'm pre and post ornery you're more ornery during an interview because if it's not about family trips you feel like a thousand angels die yeah we have a theme to the show that's what it maybe wants to talk for a second about the fact they were on SNL a thousand angels die if you're like oh I also I wanted to say in the intro I forgot that Tiffany won an Emmy for hosting SNL remember that audition yeah I remember Tiffany auditioned for SNL when I was head writer and we got it very wrong no you got it right I want to see where I'm at today it's always true it all works out that way but I was going to that you and I have won the same amount of Emmys for SNL twelve and a half years you came in for one week boom boom Emmy that's how I do it yeah but Seth sounds charming in the ads but between the ads he's a little less so mad he's like how many ads do we have to do how many ads I mean it's very mad that's where the money comes from if there's a typo in the ad copy I'm so mad I'm like I can't read this all I do is read all day long for my show and I'm like ah I need a break yeah I get a little you call that ornery ornery I get a little ornery I don't I don't think you're an ornery person you don't have well my family how we call it we say ornery oh you over here being ornery and shit it's like ornery yeah I thought I had an H in it we got some over there if you can make your way through Jeff thanks for making your way over here so for recent listeners of the pod we've been promised that we might see the Ponkas tonight yeah Ponkas had been better things to do yeah what are they doing they're up in New Hampshire yeah they're up in New Hampshire probably watch it well no because the Red Sox played today so they really have no excuse it is when you expect them to show up and they don't that is of course means you have been punked yeah so we're sorry we cannot we cannot deliver the Ponkas tonight apologies but we're gonna go we're gonna both see them tomorrow yes sorry that you won't see them tonight that's okay if you want to move forward there's another one up here Jeff down there thank you the Ponkas are our parents yes yes they didn't want to buy their own plane ticket like I had so disre so honoring so Seth I gotta know you've talked how your sons wanted a younger sister but is it really that Axel just had such middle child energy you were like we need a third it was my oldest was the one who wanted a third Ash was the one who felt very strong because again Axel was only like two no that's not true he was two and a half when Alexei got pregnant basically almost three so he didn't really care one way or the other Ash was the one who felt very strongly about it and Ash also really wanted a sister that was I think Axel had sort of turned him off for the idea of like I think he was very strongly like what if we try another thing and see if that's a fit and wait you had another baby? yeah because your child said y'all should go make another baby? yes so wait so parents really do be listening to their kids I want a sister brother they be like oh come on now we gotta go in there and make this baby you heard the kid he want one he ain't paying no bills he ain't contributing in no way ain't gonna change no diapers not gonna help you raise that kid at all so this is great the next time one of them wants something could I put him on the phone with you? yes I will check that in a minute not a problem I will talk to him he know I will say even the oldest one wants another one and his selling point we're not gonna do it but his selling point is like I just think Addie would be such a good big sister and it's a very sweet thing to say but I don't know what I don't know what I am what if he's really saying that because he feels like you two need more intimacy yeah he's watching the relationship he's watching the relationship he's watching the relationship and he's like I remember when y'all used to kiss and you only and when y'all kiss a new baby come so maybe if I tell him he knows more than that I swear to God this summer Ash said to my wife he goes you know what you do love dad and she's like oh why do you say that he's like well you've slept with him three times that's how you know that's how you know yeah third time the charm that's what makes it love three for three if you have ten kids my goodness he'll be like wow you guys do it too much yeah oh there's Jeff over there and he's going to find someone oh look at that he's very you got to really snake your way in here there we go first of all Tiffany is a great great guest on every podcast she ever does yes thank you don't say that because you're my type I know I see you got a ring on I'm going to leave I see you I see you how you doing I'm good Tiffany may I introduce you to white common so she did a great job hosting for Jimmy Kimmel this year too but one of the favorite things I've ever seen her do is a Bear Grylls show she absolutely crushed it and I was wondering if either of you two would ever do that with Bear Grylls I 100% would I own a Bear Grylls shirt I own a Bear Grylls knife which when I take it out of its sheath it is terrifying you take it and you're like oh my god that's a knife it is nuts yeah it has a little flint on it it's very cool I would do it in a heartbeat he would never do it never do it yeah he's going to make you eat bugs and stuff too yeah and guess what guess what I'm going to tell you something and I probably shouldn't do it but I'm going to tell because I'm a snitch oh yeah you said that before too yeah yeah yeah I'm a snitch on Bear Grylls you know when they be having like you got to eat these bugs and he make it seem like he found them nah somebody put it in there put it there before we walk right there yeah they got a bug wrangler literally a bug wrangler it's somebody who puts bugs and like snakes and stuff and all these things so we was walking I seen the dude way up ahead of us with the red hat on and the hot yellow shorts I seen him it's also Matt Coburn way ahead of us and so then when we get to that spot where that dude was and he's like oh look it's a snake and I was like yeah yeah he's like you're not scared I'm like no it's a snake they were trying to scare me and then like they wanted me to eat that spider you see what he said like eat the spider now the spider had been dead the dude killed the spider and put it in the water it was dead just sitting and like and they like we eat the spider I was like oh no it's a religious holiday I ain't supposed to eat today it's Yom Kippur I can't eat today I can't I can't I can't I gotta fast to the sun to the sun when the sun set I'll eat the spider he's like please please so I put like a piece of it in my mouth and then I was just like okay this is really it's a real spider it was a real spider but I didn't swallow I never swallow so so how many days I only swallow when I'm in love how many days do you have to give to Bear Grylls one what you do one travel day to get there and then when you get there they do like a bunch of training stuff to make sure that you know how to use the equipment and then you're out there the next morning like yeah they didn't do no training on hanging off the side of a helicopter but you know I've been hanging off of shit for years so yeah you came to prominence hanging off when America fell in love with you you were hanging off something yeah I was hanging off of something I'm always hanging off of something ain't I this is this has been absolutely wonderful we want to say thank you to Boston to City Winery to Airbnb but most importantly to Tiffany Happy Tiffany Haddish everybody thank you thank you thank you so much everybody thank you good night family trips with the Myers Brothers family trips with the Myers Brothers here we go will you come to Boston We'll be right back. said yeah i'll go what a show had to say trip me trip me trip me trip me yeah trip me she takes some good trips she's seen an eclipse she wasn't girls trip and she is a trip she went into a cave demons best behave most people go for three she said i'll do four days she did it on a lark completely in the dark just like the big old giant great kenya national park slept like a dead body blindfolded re-entry blindfold came off was overwhelmed by all there was to see colors she felt the gratitude she had been in the nude played music with three dudes she spent four days in a cave she spent four days in that cave up in portland on cruise ship she's only been with men and that is a mistake tiffany will not make again they try to reign her in but they will never win next time she goes she'll bring a friend strangers she likes to travel with she takes so many trips anywhere she picks you're broke to handle it and who she has hanging with she looks around and knows who's good inside of ten minutes go with the groupon go with the groupon go with the groupon go with the groupon go with the groupon go with the groupon this girl travels the whole world with the groupon go with the groupon go with the groupon go with the groupon go with the groupon go with the groupon go with the groupon go with the groupon this girl travels the whole world with the groupon youtube search history ball squats in the lobby with a court case what happened to ricky lake jumping from a bungee while upon the cliffs were the monkeys watching selena and tiffany over the zambie z on every continent she's always making friends but everywhere she's been she's bringing claritin this girl don't ever stop she's jumping off a yacht missed the koala bears but had a rugby player go with the groupon go with the groupon go with the groupon go with the groupon go with the groupon this girl travels the whole world with the groupon go with the groupon go with the groupon go with the groupon this girl travels the whole world with the groupon out out out out out out at out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out have you heard that mcdonald's spicy chicken mcnuggets made with spicy tempura and a blend of aged cayenne and a blend of aged cayenne and a blend of aged cayenne are back are back are back remember to grab a few extra napkins remember to grab a few extra napkins remember to grab a few extra napkins for a limited time at participating mcdonald's