Expansion & Contraction 🦋 the messy + uncomfortable period of contraction that occurs right before growth & expansion explained (manifesting + self-growth)

Welcome to the Yoga Inspired Life podcast. I'm your host, Sheila Quinn, and together we'll go on a journey of self-discovery as we explore all of the inner workings of what it means to live an inspired life. Join me for solo episodes and conversations with special guests for real, authentic deep dives into all things yoga, wellness, self-love, mindfulness, and everything in between. If you're ready to get inspired, learn, grow, evolve, to connect and uplevel your life, then you've come to the right place. I am beyond excited that you're here. So let's dive in. [music] Hi babe, welcome back to the Yoga Inspired Life podcast. Thank you so much for all of the love in the Apple Podcasts reviews and on your Instagram stories and on Instagram in general, it makes me so happy to know that you guys are loving the podcast and I really, really, really, really, really appreciate you supporting the podcast by leaving a rating and written review and sharing. It really means so much to me and yeah, I'm just so grateful for you. I went to a yoga class this morning, which was so nice to start the week off. I'm recording this episode on a Monday and as I was sitting on my mat waiting for the class to begin, I was thinking about a very specific experience that I've had multiple times in my life, always right before a big uplevel and expansion in my life and that is the period of messy contraction. I can't say that I've heard anyone or many people talk about this and I think that it's really important. It's an important conversation to have for those of you that are on your manifestation journey or on a journey of changing your life. That sounds really simplified. That's like a really big journey. But you get what I'm saying. It's something that I don't believe is spoken about enough and this idea for this episode all kind of came together because one of my best friends is about to have her second baby this week and I know it's this week because she has a scheduled C section. But I was just thinking about birth and new life and my life here and the various versions of my life that I've quote unquote birthed. And all of these experiences can kind of come together under one umbrella of contraction and expansion. I was thinking about the period of time in my life before I left my nightclub job doing bottle service in Hollywood. What that was like right before I quit and took my blog full time and then I was also thinking about the period of time right before I moved to New York City and the time right before I left an abusive relationship. And all these periods of time right before I changed my life in some radical way and there was always so much pressure and contraction right before the big leap. And it always felt like this test and like this opportunity to give up was being dangled in front of me. And I have said this before but I don't think that the universe tests you to see if you'll fail. I think that these experiences are really just opportunities for us to really show that we're committed to showing up in the way that we've said we are. And as with everything that I share online and on here, not everything is going to resonate with everyone but I really wanted to speak to those of you who are on your manifestation journey or are on a journey of making a big change in your life. And if you've been feeling like you've been hitting a wall or things are feeling really hard or things are feeling really sticky or I could like in my experience to kind of feeling like my feet are stuck in quick sand or something or like tar. And I can't step forward and I'm hitting a wall and it feels so hard and I want to give up. And I'm speaking to you because I want you to know that there is going to be a period of contraction right before the big expansion. I spoke about one of my best friends, Laura, who's giving birth this week and I was thinking about birth and this is relevant because think about the process of giving birth. Before this beautiful new life enters the world, there is quite literally contractions, right? There is a period of contraction and you're being challenged and the body is feeling probably like it's being wrung out and you're being pushed to your edges and you know, there's this messy, maybe even sort of ugly process right before this beautiful new life enters the world. We can even think about it like if you're a morning person like me, you'll really get this. The beauty of those moments right when the sun rises. The sun comes up, it's beautiful, it's peaceful, it's fresh, but we need darkness for that to happen. We need a period of rest and contraction and going in and turning inwards before we can take on the day. You know, so I've never not in my life experienced a period of messy, ugly, hard contraction right before I up level and expand. And instead of looking at this period of contraction as, oh, it's time for me to give up, this is too hard. Yeah, this is way too hard. I'm not doing this. Look at it as an opportunity for you to gain momentum. I want you to think right now, think about physically jumping. You can take a jump forward from a stagnant place. You can, but how much more powerful and how much farther would that jump be if you took a couple steps back before the period of contraction and that feeling of taking a couple steps back, that's an opportunity for you to gain momentum to not just jump forward, but leap forward. Instead of looking at these moments when things get hard, as a, oh, time to give up, look at them as an opportunity for you to gain momentum to catapult yourself forward. And I'm not talking about the resistance or the intuitive nudge that comes up when something isn't right or aligned because that's a whole different story, right? We both know what I'm talking about. I know the difference between I'm working towards a goal or a desire that's super aligned and things are getting really sticky and hard and I'm uncomfortable and I feel like I'm bursting at the seams. That's a period of contraction so that you can expand. The other thing that we are not talking about is the intuitive gut feeling that you get before you're about to do something that's not aligned that does not feel good that is giving you bad vibes. That's resistance from your intuition telling you this is not right. That is not what we were talking about. You don't keep pushing through that. And the only way to know the difference between the two is to deepen your relationship with yourself and practice tuning in and maybe make some mistakes along the way. You know, I've definitely pushed through certain things and realized later on, okay, when I feel this way or I get this gut feeling or I feel this intuitively, that's resistance because this is not right for me. I've had to learn through trial and error and that's probably going to be different for everyone. What I'm talking about today is when you have done the work you're showing up, you know this choice is super aligned for you. It's a big quantum leap forward. It's a little scary in a good way. It's really pushing you to your edges. You're really giving everything you've got to this leap forward or expansion and things are starting to feel really sticky and you feel like giving up and you're like, oh, I can't do this anymore. Lean into it. Don't give up. Remember that there will always be this period of messy contraction right before the big expansion and it might feel like a test. It might. But instead of looking at it like a test or like I'm being tested and the universe wants me to fail and this isn't, I can't do this. This is too hard and everything. This just isn't working. It's like take a breath. Let's actually take a breath together. Big breath in. Big exhale out. Back in with yourself. Is this thing filled in the blank aligned? Yes, it is. Have you done everything that you can up until this point? Yes. Are things starting to feel sticky? Yeah, a little bit. Can you loosen your grip without letting go? You don't have to let go completely. You don't have to give up. But can you loosen your grip? Can you create a little bit of slack in the rope? And trust that when it's time, the period of contraction will pass and the expansion will begin. Think about a butterfly transitioning from the cocoon, right? There is a point of contraction where they're wrapped in the cocoon tightly. I don't know the whole ins and outs of becoming a butterfly. So don't quote me. But you know what I'm saying. I'm trying to get you to picture this because I think that at least for myself personally, I'm a visual person. So this is sometimes helpful for me to remember because I know in those moments when you're experiencing it and you're knee deep in the contractions and the resistance, it feels really tempting to give up and it feels really tempting to give into the false narratives that we might be holding on to or the limiting beliefs that we've worked so hard to rewrite and move past. And we're like, hmm, this is really hard. But look, babe, if it was easy, everybody would be doing it. But everybody's not doing it. You've chosen to do this. You've chosen to go on a journey towards upleveling and expanding and shifting into a new upleveled version of your life. And it's probably not going to be easy. It might be easy for some people and there's definitely an element of ease. But at least for myself personally, I always experience this period of messy contraction. Even right before I came up with the idea for the yoga inspired life, it was a period of messy contraction. And I think that when we experience these times in our life where we really want something or we really want to make a change but we're unclear or we're feeling like things are hard and we want to give up, it's not a sign to give up. It's not a sign to give up but it's instead a sign to turn in words to find stillness, to lean into self-reflection practices like journaling and meditation and yoga. And it's really about you gathering up your strength and creativity and energy and goodness so that you can move forward with conviction and power so that you can leap forward with momentum. I'm trying to think back to these periods of time for myself and really the best things that I did for myself in those moments was to unplug as much as I could. And again, it's not give up, it's fall back a little bit. Take a step back. Take a breather, take a moment, take a pause. Take a couple of steps back. You're not giving up. You're not losing any progress that you've made. But the worst thing that you can do in those moments is panic and freak out and spiral. What do they say to mother? I keep talking about mother's giving birth but I guess my friend is just on my mind this week but I think it's also just a great example for what I am speaking on so I'm going to keep going with it. But what do they tell mothers when they're in labor to focus on their breath and breathe, right? There's lamas classes and classes on breathing and deep breathing because when we can tune in and breathe through the contractions, whether they be labor contractions or contractions in tough times on our journey towards upleveling, expanding and moving through a rebirthing process of sorts ourselves, we can move through the process with more grace and more power. We lose our power when we panic. We lose our power when we get into those reactive spaces and we start to make rash decisions and decide we're just going to give up and it's all or nothing. And I say that from experience because I've been there so many times before but if you can instead breathe through the discomfort and take your foot off the gas pedal just a little bit, you're able to then gather your thoughts, gather your energy and gain momentum to leap forward when the time is right. This process of upleveling and expanding and receiving your desires is one that cannot be rushed. And I know it's tempting to want to rush and it's tempting to want to just go for it and I just want to be there already. I can think back to so many times where with my move to New York or with when I was quitting my job or when I was ready to leave that abusive relationship or when I wanted to move or change something, I was like, let's just get there already. I'm just ready. I've been working so long for this but this process can't be rushed. And when you rush, I think that's when mistakes can happen and misaligned choices can happen. And if those happen, it's not the worst thing in the world. It's a part of your journey and I think you embrace those as they come. But I've just noticed that you move with so much more power when you are more intentional and intention and panic. I don't think can coexist at least not in my experience. They don't go together. When I am panicking, I'm not empowered and I'm not able to be really intentional and make really aligned decisions. In those moments, I found that less is more. And so I guess this episode is hopefully a little pep talk for you. And I hope that it can support you if you are experiencing this right now. And just a reminder that on your path to expansion and on your journey towards upleveling and really stepping into your highest self, whatever that might look like for you, they're most likely not always. But most likely will be a period of contraction right before the big shift. So instead of being surprised by it, just expect it. You don't have to anticipate it or will it to happen, right? You don't need to worry about it if it doesn't come great. But if it comes, just I think if you can sort of expect it, then you won't be so thrown off path by it. It won't throw you off guard as much. There's a podcast that I love listening to, the secular Buddhist podcast. Cannot remember for the life of me what episode this is. I'm pretty sure it's one of his earlier episodes. I've actually had Noah, the host of that podcast on this podcast in one of my earlier episodes. I'm definitely going to check his podcast out. But in one of his earlier episodes, he was talking about, and I'm totally going to butcher this. So please don't quote me, go and listen to it. But the gist of this episode is he was talking about a Buddhist proverb, I believe, centering around expecting there to be challenges in life. And again, it's not that we're trying to manifest more challenges for ourselves, but just knowing that in life, there will be challenges. And the story is something like somebody going into the woods and coming across a bear and being really startled by the bear. And actually, you know what? Now that I'm telling this, I feel like I'm telling this story completely wrong. And I should probably listen to it first before I tell you. But I'm not going to. So please just excuse me. But essentially from what I can remember, there's one version of the story where the guy goes into the forest and there's a bear that he comes across and it completely, he's not prepared for the bear and he wasn't expecting any bears and it completely freaks him out. It throws off his trip, throws off his day, etc. And then there's another version of the story where he's going into the woods and someone stops him before he goes into the woods and he's like, hey, you know, there might be some bears out there. You might not see any, but you might. And so just be prepared. And so the man goes on to go into the woods. And he has in the back of his mind that there's a possibility that he might encounter a bear. And he's not like on guard the entire time, but he's, you know, it's a possibility. And so he moves through this hike knowing that that's a possibility. Then when he sees the bear, he's like, oh, I thought that could be a possibility that this would happen. Okay. And he was better prepared to deal with the bear because he knew it was a possibility. And so this story is neither about bears or hiking or going into the woods, but rather knowing that in life, there will be periods of contraction. And on your journey towards upleveling and expansion, there is a possibility of a period of contraction and resistance right before you're about to take the big leap. So instead of not knowing about it, I'm telling you now, if you haven't experienced it, there's a possibility. And you don't have to anticipate it in an anxious way, but just bear in mind. Oh my gosh, I'm such a dork. Just keep in mind that it is a possibility. And if you start to experience that, know that it's normal and lean into it. This is a sign for you to turn inwards and to do less and to gather up your strength and energy and get really clear about your direction and gain momentum to catapult yourself forward. Growth is never comfortable. It's not comfortable when you are growing energetically. And I can even remember being younger and quite literally experiencing growing pains, knowing that can you lean into the discomfort if and when it comes up. Because if you're growing, you're going to experience it. If you're expanding, there's going to be resistance. You're breaking through old limitations and boundaries. I hope this all made sense. And if you're in the thick of it, hang in there. You're getting close. It's actually crazy to me when I think back to these moments in my life right before really big shifts happened. I was almost teetering on giving up because I felt like things were getting so, so, so, so hard. And again, it's not to say that every expansion will have this, but in my own life personally, it feels like it's always been a sign that I'm getting really close to having and getting everything that I've worked for. So instead of looking at the contraction as the end or a sign to give up, remind yourself of what comes after that period of contraction is expansion. I hope this helped. I hope this gave you a little inspo. I hope you have an amazing rest of your day or night whenever you're listening. I love you so much. And I will catch you in next week's episode. Bye, babe. And that's a wrap on another episode of the Yoga Inspired Life podcast. I hope you got something valuable from it and feel empowered to take inspired action. Thank you so much for tuning in and spending time with me today. And if you enjoyed listening to this episode as much as I loved creating it, then please subscribe and leave a review. And if you know of anyone that would benefit from the podcast, I would love it if you would share it with them. I always say that we rise by lifting others, and this is a totally independent podcast, so every little bit of support truly means so much to me. If you're looking for more, let's connect on Instagram. You can find me @SheilaQuen. I hope you have an amazing week. Thank you again for listening, and I'll catch you next week.