Ew David | Gross Things Flight Attendants Find on the Plane

Look, I mean, the payments doesn't bother me. I'm like, "Okay, cool." With the blood, like, tell me anything about your life. Just don't tell me TMI. Hi everyone, I'm Katie. I'm JoJo and this is "Wide to the Confessional, the Tello Podcast." Hello, hello, welcome back to another episode of "Slight Attendant Confessional." Hi, do we have some gross things for you tonight? It sounded like you were gonna say, "Do we have some fun for you?" No, do we have some juicy, disgusting gross things for you tonight to listen to? Oh, sorry, I'm just grossed out even thinking about some of these stories that we're gonna be telling tonight. Oh yeah, oh, get ready. If you do not like gross things, um. Well, and it's not like gross, it's not gory. No, it's not gory and if I can handle it, you can handle it. But if you're eating, you might want to pause and come back and listen to this episode later. Yeah, pause and come back later and listen to everything that may make you rethink flying on a commercial. Yeah, okay, but before we get into all of those juicy, disgusting stories, we do have a really exciting announcement. Yes, we have such an exciting announcement. I'm really excited about it. I'm excited a lot in those two sentences. But to get me excited takes a lot of things. We have an Etsy shop that we just opened. Yes, we are really, really excited, obviously, about this new merch launch is inspired by all of you. Everything is designed by Joe Jo and I. So we're just so excited to share it with you. Right now we have a mug, a t-shirt and a tote bag in three different designs, but we do have more designs coming. We do have a handful of designs lined up and products that were really excited to launch, but head on over to Etsy and you can find us under F a confessional. We will also share a link in our Instagram page and on the show notes for this episode. Awesome. Yeah. Anything else that we need to know? I think that's it. We are sharing the Etsy page, but I do want to get to the gross stuff. Okay, let's dive in. So we wanted to start talking about all of the gross things on the plane that we found. We found on the plane, like things that we found. But there's all sorts of things that have happened, of course. But the first thing that came to mind whenever we thought about gross was panties that I found on the plane. The thing is, okay, panties, maybe they fell out of a suitcase or something, but no. These were like on the ground, like someone had just taken them off. I have found panties on the plane before too. Yeah. Like y'all are nasty. Just keep your panties on. And the word panties is gross too. Like, we don't want to say it. I don't know why. I think it's kind of funny. The word panties. I don't know. The word panties. I don't know. I don't know what it is. But yes, that is the one of the things that I did not like finding on the plane. What about you? Definitely panties are something that I found a few times. It's just so gross. You have to stop giggling every time I say panties or anyone's panties. It doesn't make you laugh now. Yeah, because then you start laughing so that I start laughing. But one of the most obscure things that I found on the plane was a single dreadlock. Was it like a, um, a dreadlock or like a braid or like an actual dreadlock? It was a dreadlock. Wow. Just sitting on the seat, just hanging out. I think I actually shared it in one of our TikTok videos and one of our reels. This happened a couple of years ago. I might have to repost that on our stories. I don't know why hair is so gross but random hair is gross. Even finding your own hair, like in food or something, like if your hair falls into your food and grosses myself out. Okay, but it's not as gross as fingernails. I have never found fingernails on the plane. That's you. To be honest, I can't think of a specific time where I was like, oh, here's somebody's fingernail clubings. But I feel like I have. Like, I'm sure that I have. I just feel like it's something. No, I have. I definitely have. It just so grosses me out so much. I don't know why it's just like that's one that makes me. Yeah, absolutely disgusting. Okay, but the story of the year, though, is the guy who brought the rotten fish on the plane at that like had maggots in it. And the plane from the Delta plane from like Amsterdam to Detroit. It's in the news everywhere. And the maggots started falling on people from the overhead bin. That has to be the grossest thing I've ever heard. Like, I agree. I like, I have no words. It's just so disgusting. It has to be the grossest thing I've heard of on a plane. But I just can't understand like they like will search us and take like our peanut butter or something and they didn't catch his freaking like fish rotten fish with maggots. They didn't take his rotten fish with maggots and they'll take like our cheese whenever we're coming through security or something. I don't get it. Have you had cheese taken away in security? No, because I only take good cheese in France and in costumes. And costumes. At customs. Yes, but you can get through customs with cheese. Okay, depends on what kind of cheese you bring. Okay. There's so many roles, but. Okay, imagine you are headed to Detroit, which first of all, bummer that you're leaving Amsterdam. Detroit. Sorry. Detroit. Hopefully it's a connecting fight. But you're. You're on this long flight. You're in your seat. You're settled down. You're watching your movie. Hopefully you've got some wine. You did not bring on the plane yourself, but that you received from the flight crew. And a fucking maggot. Falls on you. Yeah. I mean, a maggot. No. No. Unacceptable. I mean, I'm sure whoever this lady is or whoever this man is, whoever got my dish dropped on her. Or him will be flying Delta free for life probably. Or be given a very big sum or something. I don't know. Because like what? I mean, I know it's not the airlines fault, but so they're going to do something to like make up for this. Crazy thing that happened because still. The airline and the Amsterdam airport let a ban on the flight with rotten fish in his bag. Not that the airline actually knew what was in his bag because security supposed to take care of that. Like the airline doesn't look through the bags. But still like what the hell is going on? But you'd think that somebody would be able to smell it. Yeah. You would think that's another thing that like that we actually have written down on our list of gross things is smelly people of smelly things on the airplane. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's how we got to this thing, right? It's because I mentioned a smelly person. Yeah, you were like, oh, I had the worst smelling person in my flight today. That's not a full episode. But. But. But the thing is, there's always smelly people. Like not always, but often there are smelly people. And we as flight attendants cannot be like, oh, you smell, bye. It is not a thing that is their fault. Sometimes it's cultural, sometimes it, you know, you don't know why they smell. It could be medical. - Medical. - I don't know. (laughing) I don't know, and I be a medical being. I'm just sorry. - I wasn't medical condition. It's called offensive body odor. - I don't know. I'm just giving them excuses. So I, they smell. But anyway, I was on a, I was on a commuting flight to commute. - It doesn't matter. - It doesn't matter. (laughing) - And I am on my way to where I was going. - And (laughing) - It was flight. And I sit down and the smell was so horrendous. Thankfully, there was actually another seat way in the back. And I flagged over the flight attendant and I said, the working flight attendant, and I was like, oh my gosh. I know, like I'm so sorry to ask, but if you have another seat, please let me know. Like, I can't sit here. Like, I mean, I could, like I could do it, but my eyes were watering. It was that bad. But I think the person was in the aisle and I was in the aisle. So it was like, I was the closest to that person. But I felt so bad. She came back and she was like, here, I have a seat for you and I was like, cyanara suckers. (laughing) See you later. You get your suffer. I felt so bad. I was like, oh well, it happens, but we can't do anything about it. - I did hear a story when we were in training together. One of our instructors mentioned that they actually asked a passenger not to board the flight because he smelled so bad, which is sad. He had been traveling for like 24 hours and just didn't have the opportunity to take a shower. And so they asked him not to be on that flight, but that, you know, I think they let him go to a lounge to take a shower and then had him catch the next flight to wherever they were going. - Okay. See, that's not bad, but like, there's sometimes where they're already on the flight, they're boarded like, are we gonna delay this flight because this person smells? - Right, and if nobody's complaining either, like I think the situation that I heard about in training, it was like several people, I think other passengers were like, trying to get off the plane. Were like, I'm not going to write in the plane with this person. - Yeah. Well, if they were, if they were at the gate with the person and, you know, smelled them, and they were like, hey, where's this person sitting? I don't want to sit next to them. It might have been a problem since before the flight even started. - Yeah, that's true. - Yeah. - Very true. So, okay. Do you think that rotten fish with maggots is grosser than some of the stories we have heard about poop in the lab? - You know, I don't know. I think they're equally as gross. They're different kinds of gross. Like, I think because the maggots literally landed on someone, I think it's grosser because it had contact with someone of other than the person it was involved in. Whereas the poop in the lab, it was just that person who was involved. So. - Right, one of the stories that comes to my mind, one of JoJo and I's roommates when we first started flying and lived in New York, she had a passenger that was, I can't remember exactly what happened. There was some kind of altercation. He was upset, goes into the lab, locks the door, comes out like 10, 15 minutes later, and she goes in and there's poop, like human feces smeared all over the walls of the laboratory. - Like, oh my God. Again, no words, just no, no. Don't do that. - What is it about people? And their tempers that they're like, oh my God, these flydatinins are so horrible. Let me just use poop as a way to get at them. - Well, and I did that, but that like, this is so gross, I apologize, that he was mad enough to take his own poop in his own hands, 'cause he had to take his hands and smear it on the walls. - Yeah. - Exactly. - I have never been so mad in my entire life and I don't plan on being mad enough to shit into my hand and spread it on the wall. - Yes, and I will never, ever want to do that. - No. - I don't even understand how someone could want to, like I don't even want to touch the walls in the laboratory. - No, much less, much less actually. - Yeah. And I have a similar story about someone being angry at flight crew and then going poop in the lab and being crazy. So my friend, she was finishing up service and you know how we are at the back of the cabin in the aisle, just finishing up and everybody's like, "Oh, I have to go to use the bathroom "so I'm just gonna stand there and wait." Most of the time people are understanding, like, "Hey, we're just finishing. "We tell them, hey, we're finishing. "We'll be done in a second and you can get to the laboratory." Well, this lady got so angry that she had to wait. She pooped on the counter in the laboratory. - So disgusting. - So I don't know what it is about this anger and poop. Like it's gonna, like, "Oh, these flight attendants "are gonna have to clean this up." Nope. You're not doing it to us. - But these are tough to do it. - Well, and it's a hazmat situation. - Yeah. We have to call hazmat. It's, no, we don't get paid well enough to do that. - No, we don't clean that up. And we lock it off and no one gets to use that bathroom for the rest of the flight. And we do not clean it. Cleaners do that and we feel bad for this situation because it's some crazy person doing this to maybe get at us thinking we're gonna have to do it. And it goes to someone else's job. - And you're punishing everyone else on the plane who can't use that bathroom. - Exactly. - Okay, so speaking of gross bathroom stories, I have to share one of the worst things I've heard of, maybe it's not quite as bad as like poop on the counter, but we had somebody comment on one of our Instagram posts that they were in the gallery and the seatbelt sign was on. And somebody, a passenger came back and was like, I have to use the restroom. And this flight attendant is like, I'm sorry, the seatbelt sign is on, or there's somebody in there, you can't use the left right now. This passenger holds up a colostomy bag like to the flight attendant's face and is like, I have to empty this. Like I have to get in there. Like can you imagine somebody holding up a bag full of poop and pee? - No, I really can't. - I really can't. I mean, why hold it up? Why do you need to give us so much information? Just tell us, like, hi, I have to empty my colostomy bag, or I really need to use the restroom. I have a medical condition. I need to use the restroom. Like why do people insist on giving us so much information all the time? - Girl, we could do an entire episode just on too much information. TMI. - Yeah. Well, it's like, I don't even understand why we needed just please, we need a veil like in between us. Please don't. Yeah. And I don't share that. - Yeah. - So that reminds me of another and overshare that is also very disgusting. This passenger felt very comfortable with me and was telling me her life story. And she, it's not funny. It was a medical condition and I feel really bad for her, but saying it out loud makes me giggle. Maybe that's because I'm a bad person, who knows? She shared with me that she had this medical condition where she would bleed through her pants and to the point where she was bleeding through pads and she would wear three pairs of pants and would still just bleed through them. And I was like, I'm sorry, was that Coke or Diet Coke? Oh my God. Like you were on the cart doing service and she says this. No, I came back to like, it was a long flight. I mean, we were still at regional. So it was like a three or four hour flight and I came back to talk to her about something or to pick up trash or something. Like I just was doing regular flight attendant duties and she started telling me, it kind of got into a religious thing too, which is fine. We shared a similar religion. So I didn't mind listening to that. It was interesting to me, but then she got into this whole medical thing and sort of talking about bleeding through her pants. I'm sorry. Like, I, that's just no. Why? That's too much information. That's just like so much. Just don't, we don't need to know that. No. Like I, I am honored that you feel comfortable to share this story with me, but I don't need to know this. I don't get it. Like I understand now, people like just trust us inherently. Like as soon as they walk on, a lot of people just trust us, which is great. But they take it to like another level where they're just like, oh, here you go. You're my therapist. And I'm like, no, I don't want you. So at the same time that I'm talking to this woman about her bleeding issues, the other flight attendant working the flight with me is sitting down in a seat next to passenger hearing about the fact that her husband called her right before the flight took off and told her that he bought a bunch of piglets. What? So like this crazy flight, both of us flight attendants are like engaged in these meaningful conversations with passengers, like hearing their life stories, like I bleed through three pairs of pants. My husband just surprised me with piglets. Like, people tell us everything. Like why, why do you have to share that? Look, I mean, the piglets doesn't bother me. I'm like, okay, cool. Look, blood, like tell me anything about your life. Just don't tell me TMI, like stop it at pets and children and parents and like that kind of stuff. But it is better than getting back to our grossness. I did one time find period blood on an airplane seat. Yeah, that's really gross. That's disgusting. That's like, yeah. Unfortunately, that like probably wasn't accent, but like, oh, absolutely. Yeah, but still like, there's so much stuff on airplane seats. I mean, I had a lady pee one time in the airplane seat. And, I mean, yeah, I was walking through the cabin and I was like, oh my gosh, it smells like pee. And this was back in my regional days and you know, it's a small plane. So I'm walking, I was working in the back and I walked to the front and I was like, this area smells like pee now. Didn't smell like pee before. And I walked to the front and I talked to one, I was working with one of my friends and I was like, hey, guess what? Can you walk to the back and see if you smell pee around like, Roten? And he walks by and he's like, yep, I smell it too. And I was like, okay, well, I think it's that lady. So as soon as she got off, we got half mad, come and like clean. But yeah, it was not great. That was the first time I had someone pee on themselves in the plane. So was it obvious or was it just, like, you know how you see all those videos on social media these days where it's like, people on purpose, like they will like make in a big scene, drop, trow and just piss all over the place. Was it like that or was it just like, she could have pulled it and just had an accident. I think she just had an accident. I think it was the old lady and she just had an accident. But the thing was she didn't, she didn't access, she was a wheelchair person. She wasn't an aisle chair. But she didn't access for any assistance to the bathroom or anything the whole time she was in the plane. So I was like, why didn't she access? But maybe she just had an accident and didn't, you know, tell us fast enough or what. But I've seen that happen. I've seen someone have an accident waiting for the bathroom and older man. And I would, I mean, I couldn't do anything. Like we were just knocking on both doors, waiting for people to get out. And literally one of his granddaughters or daughters or something was in one of the bathrooms just taken or the sweet time. That was like, I wanted to just punch her in the face. It was like your grandfather or father or something just peed his pants because you were just chilling in the bathroom. Why do you let him go first? Like people are assholes. People are assholes. Just people are the worst. They're assholes. That's what it sort of comes down to is that all of these disgusting things, like, yes, we're all trapped in this metal tube. And accidents happen. And we completely understand that. But some of the grossest things are people just being stupid or being mean. Like the poop on the walls. It's like that's just people being an asshole. Yeah, but one to counter. That lady being such a bitch. Like, does that. And then again, people being inconsiderate is one thing that people do all the time is try and hand us poop bags being so inconsiderate thinking that we want to take their poop bag whenever we aren't even collecting trash. Like here, here's this poop bag that they're like, here, this is yours. It's a perfect for you. OK, I have two really great and by great, I mean horrible poop bag stories. One, when I was working on Thanksgiving one year, as a guy is walking off the plane, he just hands me a poop bag. And it's like, here you go. Did you take it? Yeah. Maybe he said it on the counter of the galley. But it all was-- it just was like, OK, it's Thanksgiving day. Everybody is at home eating Thanksgiving dinner, like taking home bags full of leftovers. And I'm taking bags full of vomit. Yeah. Thank you for your leftovers. Thank you so much. Happy Thanksgiving. Best wishes. I'm warm as regards. [LAUGHTER] So that my second fabulous puke bag story is I'm doing service. So I have the cart. I'm in Lyle and I roll up to this row. And this guy stretches his arm out and holds his puke bag above the cart and says, what do you want me to do with this? Like, it's hanging over all of the snacks and the water and coffee and all of the stuff on the tray. Yeah. Get it away from the food that I'm about to give to the rest of the people here. Like, just people, God. Just no? No. Not that. Not that. Don't do that. Yeah. That's one of whenever people try and give me trash when I'm doing service. They look at me like, oh my God, why can't you take my trash? I just say loudly for everyone around them to hear. I'm like, it's unsanitary for us to take your trash while we are giving other people food and drinks. And then they give them the person, like, these looks, like-- Obviously, we don't want her to take your trash while she's serving us food. I love it. Put it back on them and bear us them humiliate them in front of all the other passengers. But it's not like I'm humiliating them. I'm not trying. I mean, I am trying, but you are trying. I am trying, but I just say specifically to them why we don't take trash. I'm like, we do not take trash because it is unsanitary. And they get changed for it by other passengers, not by me. Yeah, I say it in a very neutral tone. Do you actually though? I try. Because you know how your voice sounds and you at home listening probably have caught on to the way Joe's voice. You have a lovely voice. It's not your voice. It's inflection. You can't hide your emotions. Yeah, sometimes I can't. I love you. It's okay though. They can feel the condescension. And they want because they need to learn a lesson. I agree. 100% And I'm not saying it. I mean, I am saying to shame them, but also I'm saying it because they need to learn. Yeah, absolutely. I'm a teacher and they are my student. How to flop, flopperly. Sorry, I've only had one glass of wine tonight too. How to properly fly with JoJo. Yeah, it takes a lot to be perfect on my plane. Of another really gross thing. Speaking of vomit, I feel like this has happened to you too where people projectile vomit. Like I've definitely been sitting. We had one plane where the Jav seat is in the aisle in the last row. And the row in front of me. A baby on during landing just like projectile vomited. In like in front of me. Like it just was like slow motion through the air in front of my face and then just landed all over the floor like inches away from my feet. Yeah, I haven't had a baby vomit, but I did have a really cute kid. She was like three. And we're boarding and this little girl just vomits in the aisle. Like a lot. And we had to stop boarding because she just threw up all over the aisle and I had to go tell the flight deck like, hey, guess what? Can you guys call cleaners because we need to clean up the aisle because someone just grew up in the aisle and they were like, what? And I'm just like, yeah. And that day had been like delayed all day. We were delayed. We were just trying to catch up. I was like, okay, we're going to be on time this time. Like I was like, we're going to keep going. Like, I'm like, if we if we board fast enough, we can get everybody on. We can get out of here and maybe make up time in the air and get home on time. And then this little girl vomits in the aisle. I don't know why that just really hit my funny butt. Well, it's like that's what happens, right? You're like, just trying to get it done, trying to do well, trying to. And then something happens. And you're just like, fuck why? Don't get your hopes up. You're like, there's nothing we could do about it. Like, okay, that's that. The blood group. And then this poor cleaner guy, oh my god, this one guy comes and is cleaning up the puke in front of these passengers. And then these asshole parents are not even like saying, thank you so much. Oh my god. Now I wanted to like punch them in the face. I was like, you should have. Like, I would have been just like so embarrassed. I would have been cleaning it up myself. I would have been, you know, like most parents who have children already have to clean up puke all the time. But we didn't have, I didn't have any supplies to do anything. And once the cleaner got there, he is by himself cleaning. And then you know how, so in some planes on the aisle, there's like that little strip where the carpet in the aisle has like a like a metal strip that meets like before the seats. Yeah. It was so gross because the cleaner could not clean it. So like inside that metal strip, there was like some puke left behind. And like, he couldn't do anything about it. Like it was just stuck. So there's just like puke there forever. No. No. But it's still there. Like to this day, wherever that plane is, it's still there. Oh god. Yeah. So nasty. Yo, we're nasty. Oh, you know what I thought about as soon as I started talking about vomit or we started talking about vomit. I once saw a guy vomit into his backpack. Oh, yeah. So considerate. I mean, I think yeah. It's like when dogs vomit and then they eat it. Like that's gross. But you know what? You took care of it yourself. Yeah. Way to go, buddy. Yeah. I still have the image of this guy in my head. I was like, Oh my god. I forgot about that guy. So he didn't have anything to catch it. So he just vomit inside his own backpack. I do have to say it was the times like that when I'm like watching people vomit when I'm being handed dirty diapers and puke bags where I'm going. Have I made the right choices in my life where I am now being paid sort of to watch people throw up. And I'm gonna deal with people with bodily fluids. Like I feel like maybe I shouldn't have chosen a profession where bodily fluids are so involved. Yeah, but I mean, bodily fluids are involved in a lot of professions. So now if you are just tuning in and have not heard our past episodes, I KV and currently in cheer designer in a longer flight attendant, I have not had an incident involving bodily fluid. Although today I did go out to a client's house to take some measurements and he had a bottle of lube sitting on his nightstand. So see there you go. That was different. There's always TMI and every profession. There's always TMI. Well, what else is there anything else that we're missing about gross stories? Did we get it all? I think we mostly covered all of our stories that we wanted to tell. I mean, obviously there's gonna be more as I fly. But that's all I was thinking about today to share with you. People are nasty. Be careful on those seats. Yeah, bring some lights all I wipe them down. I don't do it, but I don't either. But as soon as I get home, I take off my clothes that I was wearing on the plane and I shower. Yeah, plane clothes are plain clothes. They don't get worn in other situations. Yeah, I don't worry about that in hotels. Yeah, that's true. But once I get home, yeah, I'm not gonna be in the bed with plane on me. No, but when you're working in your and hotels, you wear your uniform. True. It's not like you're under the covers in your uniform. Oh, some nights. No kidding. Thank you for listening tonight. We appreciate your support. And if you haven't yet, head to our Etsy site and check out our new merch. Yeah, definitely check out our new merch and thanks for listening to our gross stories. Sorry if we grossed you out. Yeah. JoJo, lovely chatting as always. Yeah, we will see you all next time. Yeah, see you next time. Bye. Bye. (upbeat music)