Everything is an Affirmation feat. umi

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New members only. Home of the save. Hey, y'all. We're back. One Night in Soho. What's it called? One Night Only. Don't ask if Drewski had to say that. I'm sorry. I'm just curious. Sav said there was a lot of cameos in the movie. Well, because the way how Drewski was in One Night Only. Sorry. I don't know why that's frying me so bad. He does have randomized cameos. So low key. But yeah. So if anyone's seen it, let us know. Yeah. Let us know if Drewski has a cameo. Let us know if it's as good as Yumi and Tuscany. Oh, my God. Hello. Hello. Wait. Hello. Delivery. Okay. Oh, my gosh. Yes. I brought gifts. Wait. The actual gifts, though? Yes. Wait. What's happening? Okay. Well, first of all, call me the news girl. I brought you a newspaper. Oh, my gosh. I made my own newspaper. Girl, what the hell? Yeah. Oh, my gosh. You've come to my events before. Yeah. Well, yes. And you actually came before. Yes. Right. Right, right, right. So I made a newspaper for my last. Oh, my gosh. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's a really cool event. And I thought you'd like it. Yeah. Right? Right, right, right, right. You've done it. Yeah. I can't even lie. It looks really good. You guys are gorgeous. Thank you. Girl, period. And that's on the newspaper. That's on the newspaper. And then I have some incense for you. And how did you know I was going to come out of this? Yeah. I heard you move. Yes, I did. How swarming it is. Queenie, beautiful. Girl, thank you. Yeah. What the hell? Oh, my gosh. The packaging. That's actually so sweet. No, these smell so good. My Yumi customs. Oh, my gosh. They smell so good. Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much. Girls, thanks for having me. Oh. Thanks for coming through. We're so happy to have you. I'm so excited to be here. Like, what the hell going on? I know. No, literally. Well, this has been meaning to happen for, I feel like, years now. I literally haven't seen you in, like, ever. Yes. Because throwback, our lore is that we did a Nike shoot together. My first ever, like, Nike campaign. All roads lead back to Nike. Like, actually. Because they be getting the girls together. No, they do. They do. It was everything. Right. And now this. Nike. Right. And then it's like, right, here we are. That's so cool. And I feel like since you came to the event recently, too, I was like, oh, my God, we have such similar personality. Girl, you literally, the way how you actually took me out of the nastiest hole, I told you that already. But, like, I really needed that. So, thank you. Genuinely. Because that was so real. Girl, are you kidding me? Like, you supported me. Just know that. No, actually, just know that. Because I'm like, girl, that session was actually so serious. Thank you. Was crying, you know. Yeah. I think I talked about it on here. I think I talked about it on here, too. But, anyway, yeah. You did. It was so real. You did. It was so real. I did. Girl, yeah, seriously. Because I'm like, girl, you know, I don't play about that. I don't. I'm in the practice as hell. It's necessary. But you're in the practice in a way that's like, you're extending the practice as well. Thank you. Which is real. Which is so real. Yeah. So, I'm happy to be here. We're going to go either way. Girl, what's going on? Like, guys, what's up? Like, what's up? You know, we'd just be cutting up. In a serious way. In a real way. Because I was going to come and, like, tell y'all something. But it's just, like, really silly. But I just have to say it out loud to clear my conscience. But I literally woke up this morning to, like, 300 ants in my kitchen. What did you leave out? Oh. You know what? Block her. You know what? Block her. Block her. You're real because, okay, so in my kitchen, in my kitchen, there's, like, a window against the side of my kitchen that has, like, nothing there except, it has, like, my appliances, like, my microwave and my air fryer. And that was my first thought was, like, girl, what the hell are y'all doing? Because they were running across the counter. And I was like. Like, baby, there's nothing here except, like, coffee and, like, an airtight can. But I was like, you're not even going for that. So what's going on? I did turn around and I remember that I bought a cherry pie from Whole Foods that was sitting on the other counter. So I don't know if they can just smell so good that they were like, how do I get. No, literally, because I was like, that's the only sweet. I've never had ants in this apartment. And that's the only sweet that I've bought since I've lived there. But they were on the wrong counter. And I literally, like, vacuumed them. And I actually almost started crying. Like, I felt so. I actually, like, can't really think about it. I don't know why I'm like, they're just ants. But, like, I felt so horrible. But I was like, what else can I do? Because, like. Well, you definitely don't want to get bit by them. Bit? Yeah, ants bite. The black ones? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know. I thought it was just the red ones. Oh, no, they handle. Oh. Yeah, they do. They're real. Yeah. I always remember in elementary school. That's why, like, even now I have a hard time, like, directly laying in the grass. First off, because I feel like we're all kind of alone. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I'm allergic to grass sometimes. Like, it does make me pretty itchy. It does make you a little itchy. But, like, in Arizona, I'd always have, like, ant bites and it would suck. I didn't know that they did that. So. I was not aware. I, like, I have nothing against. I just felt actually so bad. Because I'm like, when there's an ant that, like, makes a TikTok and it's like, she killed my family. I'm like, that wasn't. I just, like, couldn't think of any other way to take them out. Yeah, that's a lot of ants. It's hard to squish them. Oh, sorry. That's really. Yeah. But I found the little hole they were coming from and I taped it. Oh, good. But I just, like, felt really, really awful, actually. Ants have a way of finding a way into anything. It's, like, actually kind of inspiring. It is because the way how they literally rallied. Because the Tia's last night before I went to bed, I saw one. Just, like, on my counter. And I was like, oh, that's weird. I've, like, never had an ant. Like, maybe it's because I left my window open by the morning. Yeah. That's, like, summer core. Solidarity in my house. No, literally. I was like, that's kind of the thing. Yeah. We found a pie. I felt bad because I was like, oh, my God. Like, I know half of y'all, like, went out and we're trying to. It was just. Yeah. Oh, man. I'm like, well, ant core. Ant core. That intro. I haven't had it. I know. Sorry. I just had to clear my conscience because I actually felt like a murderer. Like, I had blood on my hands. Okay. It's just, like, the lay of the land. Oh, God. Don't worry. Well, guys, here we have with us our queen, Umi. Shout out. Thanks for coming. Shout out. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. What's up? What's going on? How have you been? So many things are going on. Let me think. I'm working on my new album right now. Right. Right. I just finished touring and doing festivals for my last album. So, literally, this weekend, Head in the Clouds was, like, kind of the close of that era. And was it hot on stage? Oh, it was. My feet were hot. My feet hurt. Okay. You know, because I go barefoot. Yeah. It was. It was hot. Yeah. Yeah. I was concerned. I get you. I get you. I get you. But you have to feel the ground. No, you do. In a very serious way. That's so real. That's so real. Summer festivals are something. I'm always like, did y'all drink water? Because I'm going to ask you to jump. And I don't want you to pass out. But I want you to jump. That's our responsibility. As festival goers. Right. But let's see what else. And then I just did the newspapers for this hike that I just did. A community hike. So, I've been, like, doing my monthly community events. Yes. And making music. Got to kind of, like, go away and focus on my album for a little bit soon. Period. Shout out going away. Genuinely. Yeah. Do you feel like when you go away for the album making process, do you stay in the city? Or do you like to, like, be away? That's a fun question. You know. I like both. Sometimes I used to like to get away from the city. But now I realize the music is mostly for people who live in the city. So, it's important to, like, be in the environment which will be listened to. So, I like. I like being in the city. And to me, going away more so means, like, at least in this time in my life is focusing on one thing instead of doing, like, five different things. Like, because music can be, like, super outward and inward and out and out and I've seen a lot of that this year. So, now I just want to, like, not be on stage and not. Yes. Totally. Totally. Yeah. And the touring. And the touring, yeah. Do you like touring? I love touring. I used to hate touring. I used to hate it. No, that's real. But now I love it. What's your tour, like, set up? What do you mean by set up? Are you running the bus? Are you going to the planes? Oh. Like, what's the vibe? My favorite is the bus. This year was a lot of planes. You need to get the bus. You don't know. Have you been on a bus? Have you been on a tour bus? No. Well, no. And we have a very complicated relationship. Wait, tell me why. Well. Well. And this says that. Oh, hell. No. No. Loving to. I love to tour. We love, like, doing our live shows and stuff. Like, they're super fun. Yeah. That's the best part. I will say that, like, when we did it, it was very. Very, like, us core. It was literally us three and, like, a rental car in every city and then, like, a plane. So it was just. kind of like whoa it was we did drive from i'm sorry i have to tell it every single time because that actually was one of the craziest things that's ever happened to me in my life but we drove from new york to chicago because our flight got delayed and we drove a 13 hour flight at 9 p.m and got there at 10 a.m show it to like it was just like okay it was crazy it was very it was very fierce but i feel like a bus would get us together so i'm always curious when people love to tour i'm like wait what's your setup yeah that's life no life i when i did the van like the camper situation it's like it's not it's not so fun and then the plane the back-to-back planes yeah not so fun yeah the bus is really the only way in my opinion that it's like sustainable so i hope y'all get on our bus please get on a bus honestly love a bus but it's like what do we need with the bus like acting like we acdc or something like girl we need to be serious for the first time in our lives you need to be serious though because it was like if we got on our zoom like then maybe it would be giving like bus you know literally maybe it would give bus and maybe it would give bus got serious girl if they gave us a bus i'm like okay this is like such a random question but i always ask people this anytime you know just tour life because i always think of this like with us because right you know our rider but i need to know what's on your rider because i've always because every time i hear what's on people's riders i'm like that's so that's smart as hell and we're literally like talkies like well tell me what's on yours first okay well actually we we kind of made it a little more um real sustainable the further along than we went because it was giving like hot cheetos and talkies and literally but now it's what is it ginger ale ginger ale usually like a diet coke a diet tea right veggie tray veggie tray because you know like a little nutrient and then you literally like and then it's like right and then we do jerky yes like turkey jerky jerky um popcorn popcorn veggie straws veggie straws i don't know it made it on there somehow some way okay um and then we added i think we added advil and gum gum and gum and i think the last one it was coachella it was like alani new or something like oh yeah they did have alani's yeah like some sort of energy drink miss new miss new i know i should put coffee on okay whatever that's that's actually pretty good it's kind of balanced it's actually like very sustainable i think we learned we learned quickly that it was like okay yeah at first you're like oh snack fest but then after you go for a while you're like oh this is like my grocery store list like i really need to like think this through exactly my list right now is honestly kind of similar to yours but i do like a gallon of water so i could refill my water bottle brilliant brilliant i do coconut water i do coconut water i do uh greek yogurt those like protein i do a lot of protein the the musho the musho okay wow i do what else do i do do honey i do fruit i do sardines oh that's just sardines raw or like sardines like with crackers sardines raw girl period eight when i'm kind of crazy when i get there that's real though y'all won't be able to handle because no no that makes sense it makes total sense you actually have every food group yes yes yes you get me so sardines and then a fun a couple fun things like doritos oreos yeah you need the fun stuff too yeah yeah oreos is brilliant oreos is really speaking of ants speaking of ants like oreos because we had oreos at coachella i don't know why i yeah when i came back in they were like on top of each other and in my head i immediately was like oh they're like my family like i was like oh wow i'm sorry i'm sorry like well no we had oreos at our hotel room at coachella and i probably ate three ants because the ants did the oreos no exactly so it's just like i'm no better real as hell like i can empathize with their mission yeah i think that's what fucks me up about killing them yeah because they're just like me they're just like us okay no the coachella oreos did you do coachella i did coachella like maybe three years ago right and how is and how is coachella it was really another complicated i don't know if i really want to come to coachella unless i'm like a on the artist with the with the with the golf cart right yeah what do you experience not having to walk you're like yes yeah i don't know if i want to walk because it's a lot of walking but i don't care it was great my funny story about coachella is week one this is a time where i was like super into edibles and i did an edible before the show that i had never tried before and i just i was like i'm trying for the show yeah and i was so high i remember going to coachella and i was like oh going on the golf cart to the stage and being like oh i fucked up like i'm like really that's so real but i had such a good time but i never did that again it was like very early 20s of me to do that yeah that's so early 20s like down no i see that yeah really but it was fun i had a good time and i would love to perform again i learned a lot from that show yeah right right yeah coachella for sure no actually it needs to balance we need the balance like genuinely how was how was your time at coachella oh it was good it was actually really fun it was good it was just really hot it was very hot it was a lot of dust it was very oh because it was super windy i don't know how it was a couple years ago because i feel like it kind of switches on and off like some years it's pretty like still not too windy whatever but this past year was so well not this past year this year because this year's going by so fast this year it was this year and um it was really dusty yeah and i was like coughing oh the cough that i had for a month after i was like honestly guys no worries honestly no worries don't even worry about it as soon as i got home i literally like boiled water and like yeah oh yeah had the steam going directly into my lungs and i was like plunge me right now it was yeah it was actually so serious but i'd never been to coachella before like for real for real so it was like i think i just learned a lot it was like my first my first rodeo you gotta kind of like pack for it when you go yeah for the full spectrum no it's literally like burning man i was like okay period my lungs just like absolutely obliterated and i'm just like i don't know but it was it was fine it's good memory yeah yeah it is really sweet i had a sushi taco there like period oh i didn't know they had sushi tacos oh they have sushi tacos and i can tell you where to get them here and they're actually like amazing send it to me oh i literally will wait i'm like girl i actually went twice in a row two days in a row but i also like eat like whatever's really fun i'm like i love that that keeps life fun it's tea yeah it's very deep is this is it a hard shell taco is i was literally about to say it's a hard shell wow because it's but it's entirely like sushi ingredients of course you know what i mean it's it's actually really sickening but there's a place out here that sells them and it's so key bomb shout out me gatekeeping i'm like shout out shout out shout out whoever that is like real bad that's on fire that makes you want king yubu who have you heard of king yubu no wait can we pull up king yubu wait love and i only said who like that because that's very close to the restaurant that i was gonna say has a very similar name so then i was like oh she's blowing up my spot i don't know but it kind of is giving sushi taco wait king yubu wait can we pull it up on tiktok i'm so sorry it just helps when you see the mukbang no and that's real do you be watching mukbangs like that ever at all i was gonna ask if you have tiktok i have tiktok right okay yeah like love you girl um no i haven't watched a mukbang in a while but i used to watch a lot of them especially the asmr ones oh it's like it's literally so oh i've seen this i've seen this yeah my mom sent me this because like the outside like tofu yeah that's like right it's literally so good whoa yeah that's gnarly and they have corn dogs if you're just girl you know yes well everything is in k-town you know everything good in k-town everything good like for real oh this guy is that topoki i don't know why do i know him because one hour lunch break is so real that's the realest like tiktok name my sushi recommendation is this place called soma soma suisan they're just they're like re um relocating right now but the sushi is so good it's like not so super like crazy crazy stuff but it's just like a classic fresh high quality sushi place y'all should go we should all go together no i would be so down like would love that and he's eating i'm like yeah perfect i'm there yeah yeah yeah little lunch day because one thing about us is i'm just like yeah like can you we are gonna eat right sushi like anything really we are gonna eat we don't discriminate um at all so y'all just like drop some comments below if you know anywhere in los angeles like genuinely let us know if y'all know anything about anything if y'all know anything please let us know please tell um don't know anything hey guys we want to take a quick break to thank a sponsor of today's episode brooklyn bedding i truly believe sleep is the foundation for everything after a long day i need a bed that actually helps me recharge with my signature hybrid brooklyn bedding mattress i wake up feeling aligned rested and ready to jump into my day it's not just comfortable it's intentionally built for restorative sleep brooklyn bedding is one of the few mattress brands endorsed by the american chiropractic association for spinal alignment and back health so you know getting the supportive sleep your body needs. 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Exclusive with our code brooklynbedding.com promo code upstairs. We want to take a break to thank a sponsor of today's show, Brooklyn Bedding. We'll be right back. Today's episode, talkiatry. If your anxiety, depression, or ADHD are more than just a rough patch, you might need more than just talk therapy or self-help tools. Talkiatry connects you with real psychiatric care so you can actually understand what's going on and get a treatment plan that works. Talkiatry is 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like anxiety, OCD, and more. Unlike therapy only platforms, talkiatry is psychiatry. You're seeing a medical provider who can diagnose mental health conditions, and you're seeing a medical provider who can prescribe medication when it's appropriate. 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That's T-A-L-K-I-A-T-R-Y.com slash upstairs to get matched in minutes. Talkiatry.com slash upstairs. Wait, I have a question for you. So these incense, do you hand, like, how, what's the process? Like, do you pick the scent? Yeah, I pick the scent. I find, like, a manufacturer, and then I look at the list of scents that I'm feeling. So these are rose incense, and I really wanted to make something that felt like love, and rose is a flower that represents love. The pink, the smell is, like, very warm. So I kind of pick the scents based on what I want people to feel in this season of life. Totally. And then we design it, and we make it. Literally so beautiful. No, the way how I, like, burned through mine, I'm like, perfect. This is actually perfect timing. You have no idea. Like, everything in perfect timing, genuinely, because I'm like, girl, I was literally the other day, like, damn it. Yeah, I gotta go get more. I like them, too, because the thing is an incense. Yeah. Just take it with you. Yeah, it is perfect. And the size is, like, literally so nice. Like, it's, like, nice and compact, but were you making these, like, at home before, or have you done, like, at home incense before? I've never made incense before, but I've always been around incense ever since I was little. I think it's a Japanese thing. Like, my mom loves incense. So every time I go to Japan, I would just stock up on incense. Going back to the touring convo, like, one of the ways I started to love touring is, like, bringing things, like, sensory things that always remind me of home. So I'll, like, burn the same two incense all the time at home, and then on the road, I only burn those two. I, like, listen to the same sound when I go to sleep, everywhere I go. So it, like, can instantly make my body feel like I'm at home. So incense are important. Or just good smells are important to me for that reason. Yeah, no, totally. That actually makes so much sense, and we'll be handling that. Yeah, in a serious way, because I'm, like, that is so grounding. Yeah, seriously, to have that consistency. Yes. Exactly. Because, yeah, that is the one thing about touring is it's, like, so insanely inconsistent. So inconsistent. And it's, so full on, but it's so, you don't know what's going to happen, but you do know. I don't know, it's just, it's hard to explain it. Yes. One thousand. But you need tools, I feel like, to do it long term. Because you're, like, sharing so much with people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I can imagine as an artist, too. It's, like, a different, a different thing. Yeah. Because, you know, we just. Not y'all two, though. We'd just be yelling at the girls. And we'd be, like, you know, like. We're Spongebob and Patrick. No. It's, like, very, it's very, right. It's something. It's something. Yeah. Wait, I'm so curious. How did you know that you were good at being, in, like, doing podcasts? And. That's a good question. Hmm. I don't know. I don't feel like. I don't know. For me, I don't feel, like, particularly. I don't know. It's almost, like, in retrospect, I guess I can claim, like, the gift of gab. But, like, getting into it and thinking about it wasn't necessarily something that I thought was, like, special or different from anyone else who. Speaks. Which I still believe is, like, true to a certain extent. I don't think that. There's some, like, special sauce, necessarily. But I guess only when it was reflected back to us did I start to be, like, oh. Like, I didn't know that. I don't know. Also, I mean, like, all of my friends in my life, I've known my whole entire life. And we all talk the same way. So, genuinely, like, didn't think about it until we, like, showed up in this space. And people were, like, oh, I, like, you know, love how you guys talk. You guys talk so different. I was, like, what? Yeah. I was, like. I was kind of, like, oh. I just thought. Yeah. Everybody did this. Yeah. I felt very just, I don't know. Yeah. Because I feel like even when I first met Maya, because I used to have a different podcast that I did by myself. And, like, that was fun. But it just wasn't, like, something I would do long term. Like, I think it, like, served for that season. And I realized, like, oh, like, podcasting is fun. But I was, like, it definitely would be way more fun with someone else. And then when I met Maya and I was, like, oh, my gosh, wait, we're, like, woke the same person. this show felt like really easy to just like set up and like start talking and it just like the flow state was serious yeah totally yeah in a serious way it's crazy to think about it like it's so crazy yeah yeah well yeah because you're so i don't know i think it's such a gift to be able to like think of things on the spot that are also really intriguing interesting and then branch off into more conversation i think it's i'm like i was like watching your videos like wow they're really good at this like this is really awesome funny it's the adhd special no it really is though actually at the end of the day too because i'm like girl when i take my adderall it's literally mute so that's how you know it's working but you know like whatever yeah that's crazy i like never think about it like that but happy to be here yeah happy that it's serious it speaks to anyone you know what i mean no truly because i feel like it also connects us with like so many different people you know what i mean totally and like everyone that we've like had on the podcast and like different walks of life and stuff like it really is so crazy because like would you say for yourself like you always knew that you were going to pursue like singing songwriting but also like i feel what really when i think of like your music but you as an individual i always think of like how mindful you are and you know i was gonna you are like we need to talk to the girls we need to talk to the girls about the yeah and like your presence also like even when i met you years ago so calming like so grounding like i just feel like you that's like the essence you walk with but i also feel like that's a practice you know like it just doesn't like happen overnight but i am curious about that because anytime someone has a presence i'm like i would love to talk about this yeah like for real for real for real for real what's the tea the tea is it definitely is a practice it's like a muscle it's like i have it's like i have abs but my abs are like being calm yeah i'm being totally because i when i look back at my youth i mean i'm still youth in my youth process i'm still in my youth process i'm still in my youth process but like i was so anxious and it was because i was so anxious that i i was like i cannot live the rest of my life like this like my distinct memory is graduating from high school me like i'm way too anxious at like 18 to have a fulfilling life at this level and so i started to look up meditations online and i did this one 10 minute meditation i found on youtube and i started crying because i had never experienced quiet in my brain before yeah and i was like i don't know what this is but whatever this is this is what makes life worth it and i was like i don't know what this is but whatever this is this is what makes life worth existing for me so i just started doing it every day every day and then when i started doing shows i my anxiety started to spike again and i would get so intensely scared to perform in front of people so then i was like okay what helps me feel calm okay taking a breath before i start so then i started meditating before the shows as a way to calm myself and then once i accessed the peace inside of me i realized oh everybody needs it actually so it's not like i really didn't pop it out of my head i was like this i was i've been very totally anxious overthinking lack of confidence like all those things but i knew that that wasn't actually who i am yeah and so i've pursued practices that have helped me to stay calm and now it's like become my baseline yeah i think and i'm very i can easily tell when i'm off my center and something i was i was talking to my friend about yesterday is like everything is an affirmation at the end of the day you're either afraid you're affirming to support yourself or you're affirming against yourself but ultimately you have the power to choose what you think about yourself and we we like outsource that power outside of ourselves way too easily yeah and this year something about this year i was like i'm done with that i'm only speaking love into myself because no one's gonna do it for me yeah and it's been showing even more and people are really feeling it from me more so i don't know i think that's what that's why i am the way i am yeah girl i see you so bad i see you so bad that's so real that's very real thank you so real yeah and yeah i feel like it really is so hard to like i feel like sometimes for me personally like i feel like i forget that i can literally do that you know yeah like take time like even 10 minutes away from the craziness yeah to just like quiet the mind or even like start the day like that yeah because it really is so important because yeah i feel like it especially sometimes when i go in my like doom scroll oh yeah like i can't it feels bad yeah it's really tough and it is so real like i resonate so heavily with the idea that like affirmation and i feel like something for me that i always lean back on is how like we pay the subconscious so much dust and that's why i'm like not on tiktok right now i'm not on instagram because this year i feel like i've just realized and like being in this job and just kind of like having a lot of life shifts like a lot of those subconscious things that i've been kind of just like feeding to myself without thinking about it started to show up yeah and it was like when i needed to call on myself for like understanding or like compassion like those were things that i didn't have and i didn't have the time to do it and i didn't have the time to do it and i didn't have for myself and then i start to think like i mean it's not all just tiktok it's all very much like self-beliefs that are like whatever but even just like in the culture that we live in and just like the kind of things that we like and just like mickey's tiktok the other day where she was like damn every time i'm on tiktok everybody's like he did this she did this like i don't like this like we did this and she was like whatever happened to just like funny tiktoks like just having fun like i think about that and how kind of just like fiercely and unknowingly i trained my subconscious to be so kind of like hyper aware of what i'm doing and i'm like doing like do i am i cringe like do i like believe in myself like just like all these things you don't really think about until you do kind of like take the time to sit with yourself and really be like yeah what do i think like yeah what do i think what do i think and what kind of like messages do i have control over and i think that's like so real that you have you have all the control really but sometimes it's even hard to like admit that because then it feels like it almost feels too like powerful to be like oh i could actually just be like no i'm not worried about that yeah it's like that is like the last like once i hit that chip i'm shaving my head genuinely so no like literally because i'm like that is always the one little catch all i hit is like just being more mindfulness and like getting into meditation again like you really set that off for me because i didn't realize how much just like with how busy we were i wasn't in my practice anymore and then when i went to your event i was like oh my god i forgot like how much this meant to me like how much it really grounded me um but anyway all that to say like now that i'm back in my practice still like i have that little chip that's like if i've really been able to like really believe that everything's up to me it's like damn like that's too much low key like that's too much that's too much that's so getting there but it's real as hell and it's nice to know it's there it is it is but when i surrender to that it's about to be like okay fine you're gonna you're literally yeah girl like jesus no but yeah i i totally see you in that meditation is very life-changing i will say yeah that's been i love that you said that because i'm i'm i'm at a similar tipping point where this month i'm like okay the year's almost done and i'm still believing things about myself that don't serve me and i just had this moment of like wake up wake up girl so every morning i've been writing affirmations and saying them out loud and i look in the mirror and i tell myself them and i used to be like yeah yeah like this so like everybody does no people don't actually do it people don't commit in that way and like and it's because and again guys cringe is killing all of us all of us because literally i remember when i first started thinking about doing affirmations i was like oh my god this is so silly like saying it out baby shout out works like shout out loud as that's my fucking girl but i actually like did was doing the same thing like forcing myself to like really like listen to the affirmations and like say them out loud and girl now i wake up in the morning and they're just like in my head and i'm like no truly self-talk because we sleep on self-talk in such a crazy way just even like i don't know i correct you know not too much on like policing of the mind yeah but in the sense of like if there's a thought that comes into my mind and then i'm like you know giving it too much attention or not even correcting it of like that was stupid and i'm like i'm not stupid yeah like hold on like let's correct that or even just like anything like finances just anything i feel like it's so important to not speak that over yourself because it's so easy like again to the subconscious for that to become your reality totally or your belief system totally truly well subconscious is where we sleep because it's like everything that you're conscious of yes love her and like that's where we can work from but like scientifically like the subconscious is the majority of your thought pattern and like that's where your brain kind of just like relies on in the way of like muscle memory and all these things so when we do kind of like because you know when we first met like my big self-talk shift was like the self-deprecating humor like the gen z self-deprecating like oh my god that's so dumb like i'm so dumb like i'm and then i was like you know like wait when i needed to be smart i was like um wait i think i'm smart i'm pretty so literally i'm like girl that had to get shaped up real quick exactly because it's serious it's serious though no because it's like literally if i hear my friends say they're like big chungus i'm like we can't be and when they like make a clip of us like saying big chungus i'm like guys no but for real though yeah that's so serious yeah how do you feel like that plays into you as an artist and do you think that those things are mutual? exclusive or one came before the other? i think they're so intertwined i think anything that's your passion is probably going to be your biggest fear at the same time and i think it's a spiritual path like i think life is spiritual in its essence and i think totally whatever your big dream is is going to require you to break through your old beliefs and it's going to require you to break through your family's trauma and whatever you inherit it you're going to have to break through it to reach your dreams and so i think being an artist has served my own healing because i want to do this so bad like i want my music to be so big and touch so many people but there's so much inner turmoil i've had to overcome to get there so i think they're so intertwined i wouldn't be sitting here if i didn't overcome like 60 fears to even be able to talk here and not overthink and be like am i sitting weird am i this am i ugly am i like i've had to overcome that self-talk to be here and i think that's something that i think is important for all artists and people in general to embrace um is like allowing yourself to face your fears so that you can really step into what you're like true power especially as women i'm like totally we are so powerful we should know how powerful we are and we're like i'm also sometimes get scared of my own power and i'm like the only way the world is going to change is if we step into our full yeah power yeah no yeah it's so real literally so important because i feel like even still you know like i'm almost 30 like i'm 28 and i feel like there are so many people that are in the same way and i feel like there's so many things that i've like overcome in the same way or just like thought patterns or like belief systems and yet like still i'll find myself like minimizing myself in public i feel like especially and it's so crazy how like i don't know i think about how men don't think twice when they take up space like they'll literally just be loud and like doing the most and you're like okay your presence is known and like if i you know not that i'm trying to take up space in the same way but even it's just like for quality of life or something like that i'm like i feel bad like inconveniencing people like i feel like that's something that i feel like all the time and it's such an important reminder to just be like who cares yeah you know like it's not a bad thing to have your needs like met or like making sure you're being like taken care of yeah i mean it's nice to know all those things too because like the awareness is what makes it an option even though it is like difficult i think a lot of times it's cool to also just i feel like that's like one of the things that getting older has really provided me that i feel so grateful to be older now even though like you know when you're 21 like you think you know every fucking thing you think you have your degree like this is actually crazy like that like nerve and talent like that was just like wow um the conviction that was present in the early 20s i'm like wow she was convicted she was like i thought i ate you know like i thought i knew something and now i know nothing so it's just kind of like weird so like let me know if y'all know anything about anything um but yeah i feel like that's the thing too about getting older is being able to kind of like even just having the actual brain like physically and scientifically having the brain power to be like oh these are all things that i want to like make changes on or that like to that point don't serve me anymore whatever it is and being able to kind of decide how much you want to change it i guess or like how much you want to like work on it has been really humbling in the late 20s i'm like damn yeah damn like just woke up guys like just found out like just like found out that like whoa it's actually so insane that's nice hey guys we want to take a quick break to thank a sponsor of today's episode rocket money this summer thinking about my finances and setting a budget is the last thing i want to do especially during fun trips and events but rocket money makes it easy with rocket 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Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com slash upstairsneighbors. That's rocketmoney.com slash upstairsneighbors. rocketmoney.com slash upstairsneighbors. Hey guys, do you want to take a quick break to thank a sponsor of today's episode, Smirnoff Ice. The official drink of summer is here with their new variety pack, Smirnoff Ice Icy Island. My favorite flavor is, of course, you already know it's a strawberry sunset. Mix, match, and get creative with your Smirnoff Ice creations. You can bring an Icy Island flavor like this to the beach, pool, backyard parties, or even just hangouts with friends. Go check out these Icy Island flavors now. As always, please drink responsibly. Smirnoff Ice is available at local retailers near you, 21 plus. And a thank you to Smirnoff Ice. Hey guys, we'd like to take a break to thank a sponsor of today's episode, Squarespace. 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Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website. Upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries, and even monetize your content by adding a paywall. It's perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials, and premium workshops. Head to squarespace.com slash upstairs for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, use offer code upstairs to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. I love that, and I think people don't talk about this as much. I think somewhere around 24, 25, 26 can be some of the toughest, at least for me, and I observe this, it can be the toughest years in your 20s, and I think it's because it's this coming of age, especially for women, where we go from being girls to being women, and I think the biggest thing is, like, letting go of the I need to be saved complex that we've been programmed to think, like, someone needs to, a man needs to save me, or a partner needs to save my job, like, I need saving is, like, this thing that I think holds girls from transforming into, like, super power woman, and to do that transformation, I feel like your brain literally, like, rewires itself, and you purge out all these intense negative self-beliefs about yourself, and I think, like, I just look at my little sisters, I look at, like, my fans, and I'm like, y'all are going through it right now, but it's an important going through it, and not to, like, give up, and not to get stuck in the pattern, but to push through, I think is really important, and that's why I think getting older is actually amazing, and I would love more people to value getting older, and not be scared of getting older. Because, yeah, I'm like, yeah, 21 was fun, but I honestly would never go back to 21, because it didn't feel good inside of my body. Well, and also, it's just, like, genuinely the science of the actual frontal cortex showing up at 25 and 26, like, I keep saying this on this damn program, but, like, when people used to tell me that, like, you wake up one day, and you're genuinely different, I was like, that's stupid, like, that doesn't make any sense. When I tell you something genuinely shifted when I turned 26, and I was like, like, then it's so, and I feel like that was something I was going through this year, you kind of get there, and all of a sudden, when you think about the past, it feels so unrelatable, almost, or just so, like, when I think about me at 21, I'm like, what? Like, what, what was going on? No, like, what was happening? And that kind of transition of also finding, I guess, like, the lessons in that, but also the compassion and the self-acceptance of that, of just being like, damn, that's crazy, because I did wake up one day, and now I'm like, oh, I would never do, like, 80% of the things that I did ever again. Like, even in the little well, even in the little things, because I'll still try, even when it, listen, I'll try to do three shots. I'll try, because me at 21, it was sound, eight, nine, I was waking up in the morning, like, oh, now I'll take three and, like, throw up. Like, that is a metaphoric, that's, that's the metaphor, you know? It's like three shots, three days of recovery, like, a day per shot, mind you. It's just, like, things are different now, like, physical and mental, mental, exactly, like, mentally, and just, like, physically, and it's just, like, wow, so, it's crazy. It's crazy looking back on younger self. It's crazy looking back. Well, like, the edible, like, why did I take that edible before my coach? Like, there's so many things, like, why did I do that? No, it's, like, real. But it's fun, but it's fun, it's fun to be me now, too. I'm like, right, it's, like, fulfilling, I feel like. It feels real, it feels like I'm being myself. I'm not trying to, like, chase something anymore. Yeah. This is me, this is what I like. No, that's so real. And I feel like there's control there, too. It's, like, nice to actually feel so involved in my life, if that makes sense, where I'm like, oh, these are, like, this is how I feel, these are my morals, this is what I like, this is what I don't like. Like, still, like, finding those things out, but, girl, two years ago, I literally was like, uh. I don't know. No, literally. No, literally. Um, okay. Oh, okay. Just, like, not, just unsure. Yeah. Not sure. Developing your sense of self, like, that feeling is just, it's crazy. It's gaggy. Because even, like, oh, my gosh, it's so crazy, because I even look back at the things I would wear when I was, like, developing my sense of self, and I was just, like, what the actual hell possessed me when I put that outfit on with my chest. But thank God. But thank God, right? Because it's, like, I had to wear that. We need her. We need her to be her, and then it's, like, her, and then it's, like, right. Yeah. It's me, and then it's you, and then it's, like. Yeah. Like, actually, though. Because I was just, yeah. What were, like, some of the, like, what is the word I'm looking for? Like, what were some of the things that you grew up on that were, like, pivotal? Like, were you a One Direction girl? Like, were you, like, did you watch YouTube? Every time I'm, like, did you like One Direction? I did. Thank you. No, because I'm, like, right. The historical implications of, like, where were you when you were, like, a tween girl? It's actually, it means everything. Oh, my tween ages. I was super YouTube girl covers, YouTube covers. Simmer. All the time. Every ukulele guitar cover I've probably seen. Yes. That would make sense. I was, I loved K-pop when I, yeah, I was, like. And what era of K-pop was that when you were listening? Like, Big Bang, like. Like the OGs. GOT7, like, Red Velvet, like. Because don't even play with me. The way how I'm on GOT7 TikTok right now, and I'm, like, you bitches weren't even there for real. You weren't there for the birth of it. Don't even play. Don't even play. Yeah. The birth of twice, like. Yeah, and Red Velvet. Yes, Red Velvet. Girl, GOT7. Who's your fave? Did you have one? No, no, you're real. I was on stan Twitter, y'all. Shout out my girls. Shout out my girls that we know from stan Twitter. Like, I understand why I can't say anything. I can't, I can't pick favorites right now, but I was, I was a huge, I loved K-pop. And I think it's because I'm half Japanese and, like, K-pop was huge in Japan. Like, so anyways, that. What else? I ran track, like, very competitively. So I was, I was running. I was in the gym. Yeah. We know something about that. Yes. Athletes? Do you still run? Huh? Yes. I still run. I still run. I still train. I still weightlift. I can't lie. I'm, like, I'm pretty strong. Right. No, honestly, let us know about that. Let's talk about that. Yeah. There's things happening. You also did sports? Oh, growing up or right now? Growing up, growing up, growing up. Growing up. I was, like, dancing. Oh, like, I was, like, full, like, all styles. No, no, no, no. I was training very heavily in ballet. Like, I thought that was going to be my whole thing and, like, miss her. But then I was doing contemporary when I got a little bit older, like 15, 14, 15, 16, a little bit older. Oh, my gosh. And then, yeah, I did. I want to see you dance. Oh, I want to see a video. I can see what I can find. I'm a cute girl. No. I'm a cute girl. No, it's crazy. I, like, miss her, though. Wow. Sometimes I watch, like, ballets and I'm, like, ugh. Bust it down. That's… I kind of wish I… Whatever. That's very athletic. Yeah. It was very serious. It was very serious. Yeah. Yeah, I just did a little soccer. Grateful. Yeah. Athletic as hell. Soccer. A little soccer. The running of soccer. Yeah. No, soccer was fun. But I feel like I definitely started too… No, you can never start anything too late. Exactly. Sorry. Let me rephrase that. I will… When I was in Arizona… I don't know. Everyone… The high school that I went to and just kind of the area I grew up in, everyone was very, like, sports-pilled. And I definitely was a lot more creative. Like, I was in jazz band and, like, played guitar and, like, the violin and stuff. So, for me, I wasn't, like, sports-pilled until, like, going into high school because every… There was this random thing at our high school called academies. There was, like, different… Like, there was, like, soccer academy, football academy. Right. And people who were… People who were obviously trying to pursue sports for real for real would, like, join an academy and it was, like, part of your class schedule and, like, all this stuff. And so, for whatever reason, they made it seem like if you were taking P.E., you were chungus. Like, they were, like, "Oh, you're not doing volleyball? Like, you're not doing dance academy?" And I was, like, "Oh, okay." So all my friends played soccer, so I was, like, "Okay, I'll join soccer academy." Like soccer academy. And then I played and it was really fun. I really liked it. I then, you know… I joined, like, rec leagues and stuff. Yeah. And it was super fun. And I did that for probably, like… Soccer's worth. three years and then once it was my junior year i was like okay i need to lock in with the theater department yeah because for real i needed a fine arts credit for real and so i was like okay it's time to lock in and thank god because then i was like did improv i want to do improv it's so fun we've been talking about improv it's literally everything i'm really happy i did it in high school and it was so much fun and i'm really happy the later years of high school were spent like in the theater department yeah for sure and stuff because it just like really woke things up because like the makeup the hair because i was doing the stagecraft i was like not focused on you know i would do like small little you know if someone had like their senior showcase i'd do like a scene or something thank you yeah but i'm like i wasn't like on the stage like that right but the improv that was my right that was my key key that was everything that was like shadow theater loving theater girls need or just honestly anyone because i took an improv class two years ago just randomly by myself and it was like a summer probably like i don't know like six week program and one of the guys who he took it he was older he was like in his 60s like had a family very sweet and like corporate guy literally showed up in like a button up and stuff or like a jacket and when the class ended he sent me an email and he was like hey dom he's like low-key was like a big wig like i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do and he was like i just want to say i had so much fun like you were one of my favorite like people that like were my peers and like i ended up just doing this as like a leadership thing like i guess his company was like i think it's important for leaders to like not be so rigid so he like was taking the class to like be a little more chill guy and he was like if you ever need anything let me know and i was just like i love the idea it's just good and you make so many friends and it's awesome because it's vulnerable it's vulnerable to be in the room together i think in the same way that when you take a dance class it's like girl we all go on key like at the end of the day because we were all very real with each other just now you know like and you just like you know like you have to walk it and also it just makes you not like i feel like anytime you think too hard like it's such a good way to get out of your head because i feel like sand yeah because i feel like when i would take the class and there would be a scene that got presented and i would even think for a second like what should i say i feel like the scene became cut yeah and anytime i would just be like say quite literally even if it didn't make sense the first thing that came out of my mouth yeah the scene would just be like right the flow the flow stay up in the flow and i like that idea of like not having to think too hard about what you're gonna say you should think about what you're gonna say when it comes to improv you don't have to you don't have to you can just reach flow state and that was nice yeah so i want to try taking a improv class or i want to take acting classes too because they go so hand in hand with performing and writing and the more like safe and comfortable you can feel just in being inhibited i feel like the more you can flow so i would i love that you took that improv class and i would love to do that should we all take a class together that would be so fun that would actually no we've been like good for me like we've been talking about it because there is something there and that's like so real all class would be fun oh oh fall and i actually love the idea of taking the class with someone i know because something about that it makes it even more intense in a good way i was like it makes it harder because i'm not running away yes being seen in a way it's like yeah exactly and also i feel like it holds you accountable too because it's so easy to you know sign up for the class but then stop showing up because you're like it's so uncomfortable or whatever but i feel like the more friends i made like in my class they would like text me and be like hey like are you coming yeah and i was like i love improv shows dude they're so fun no that would be t we can handle that okay we'll set something up in the chat hashtag fall it's so it's starting to actually feel a little bit like fall it was like cold this morning yeah i was like and i had all my windows open oh and my no i'm milking it real bad because you have to create it here yeah to be honest that's the thing about la is i'm like it'll be fall in november yeah maybe maybe yeah you just have to hit a pumpkin it's man-made exactly like the pumpkin patch is like okay no talk about the sensory i'm like go ahead and throw a little pumpkin candle on me no exactly exactly do i think about that every year i think i'm gonna go home this year though because i'm just like if i don't see an orange tree i'm actually going to go home i'm going to go home i'm going to go home like i just like i'm in a simulation where's what's home for you again sacramento sacramento yeah so it's like northern california but they like the the seasons are so strict really they have and they're biblically accurate oh yes well we probably we don't have the coldest winter of all time like it doesn't um snow or anything it's like too hot for it to snow but like fall is like perfect yeah because it's cold it's crispy all the trees are orange i love when the trees get orange yeah and it's like serious like i feel like that doesn't really have to be the case happen here in the same way so you kind of have to like manufacture the the feeling candle yeah to like drive out to literally yeah like literally oh my god like the wanting a farm so bad i was on zillow looking at houses i had to actually close the tab so like i was like that's actually heartbreaking guys like that's heartbreaking because like whoa just found out just found out la homes are actually like okay would you ever like homestead or anything like have a farm and stuff yeah yes that's my post music dream okay my my dream dream dream in life is to buy a big plot of land and then build how okay build houses like this and like a circle or a square and all my friends live in them and then we have a shared backyard yeah because the the way how many of my friends have talked about that for yes i'm like but the circle's tea the circle we're not thinking circle we're doing like big like we were thinking like you know yeah community girl no the commune that's literally like the commune i mean i feel like it would be very i think like we get scared again of like being getting older because we don't create sustainable community systems when we get older so we just get more and more and more and more isolated and we witness that in our dust it's so disrespectful so sad so there's so much wisdom and community and like nourishing that can happen if we can be more cross-generational but anyways we should all live together for half so when we're older i think that'd be i'm like really fun i'm like set me up i'm like just let me know where i need to sign so the t2 is where would you do that do you think have you thought about it i haven't thought that far because i feel like that's the thing girl because you know i'd be thinking like so if we all start now then we can because i'm just like i don't know where i don't know where and i'm not trying to go too far and i'm gonna lie mendocino farms yeah the growth well i went to like i went like up up like yeah damn near we were touching like i was like hi like who are you touching i was like hi like past dan fran like it was for like we were about to start stepping into like well that's my yes i'm like that's my stomping ground you see but when i went to mendocino california because it was so high up there but i saw all the farms yes like what's the one i think it's called like brielle farms or something like that it has like a cute cow on it but anyways when you drive by like all the farms have their names yeah and you can like see like all the farms have their names and you can like see each of them and stuff and they're so cute and small but you can see the animals and like hang out with them and stuff so we were just kind of like driving down and like seeing all the farms and kind of stopping at each of them and just like keying with everyone and i was like wait that's really sweet but there's a lot of land up there and even the little town that we stayed in was like the town like the place that we stayed in was an inn but there was also a farm in it and there's a garden and stuff and some people would like get in there and they would like get in there do the gardening in the morning literally my dream like i don't want animals i just want the garden but that's i feel like we need to wake up like a little you know plot like that no exactly it's just like where do you get the plot because yeah no but that's tea because north would be tea because even in sacramento there's like kind of like a if you go north north let me try not to talk to myself like if you go like super north and then like more north than that then there's like it started to give like i had a friend in high school who had a farm and i was like oh it was so everything and there's so much land there but i mean in 10 years like girl i don't know you know they're throwing up the new builds now so it's just like like everywhere that used to just be flat land when i was a kid is now like apartments um i'm like so i'm like so we should get ahead of we should get ahead of the dream that's what i'm hearing like dot dot dot no we gotta go where it's like protected you know what i mean yeah but anywhere up the west coast like i'm sorry i just i don't know if i can move coasts for it oh yeah i love the west coast too i really do i you couldn't tell me about any other coasts and like no shade i know shout out the east coast no shout them out like shout out i'm just like yeah i mean you know because y'all are probably the realest among us you definitely are the realest among us definitely because my head in the clouds like i know head at the beach like damn no for real but i like the way time moves on the west coast i feel like it's just slower whenever i'm on the east coast i'm like so much - It's 4:00 p.m. already, like, you know? yeah it's really fast because everything is at your fingertips over there which is the magic you know like you can do so many things you can get to so many things you see everyone like it's so much easier in that way but damn but dang the time it's time damn and also the sense of urgency i will say that my cortisol levels do reach a crazy level when specifically like new york or like a major city on the east coast but i feel like even the energy of everyone being like okay we're doing this we gotta go and i like that here in la everyone's just kind of like oh no workout class at 12 p.m right right maybe a coffee yeah it is very that it's very that and i really like that because i feel like anytime i have a friend from like the east coast who visits and it's like 10 and i'm just leaving the house they're like jesus christ we need to pick up the pain we need to pick up the pain it's up to us exactly california california is very that where it's like you can decide how fast you're trying to go which is nice it's not like required that you have to be very fast but and if you want to you could go fast but yeah oh i know about that i'm like that's my cortisol where i'm like every morning i'm like i have to do something right now like that it was me it's always me saying that so wait what's your what's both of your morning routines well you have a fiercer morning routine right now with the training yeah well i feel like my morning routine for the most part it stayed pretty the same well i did start weightlifting uh in november i'm like right right i love strong yeah i got i got a trainer because i really know nothing when it comes to lifting weights because i've taken like hit classes and stuff like that but i feel like form wise and everything i was just like i don't know what i'm doing but usually wake up early eat nothing right sometimes actually sometimes i have like a little rice cake or something it's nothing okay eat comma nothing i was like period yeah okay okay no eat nothing no sometimes i'll have like a little rice cake or something and then i just like can't think too much before going to the gym because then i'll be like i'm tired like i need to like lay down yeah yeah yeah so i'll just like get dressed really quick go to the gym and then after i'll do like some breakfast turn on some music right and get ready really slow love like because you're up so early yeah you get to wait what time it kind of depends sometimes i wake up at like 5 30 other times i wake up at like six seven i'm sorry no don't be don't look at me hey don't look at me guys are you gonna forgive me no i feel like right now though since i was really discombobulated with moving it's been more so waking up at seven yeah totally um still so early yeah i know i do flowers anytime i'm like up really early in the morning i'd be like texting my friends like hey hey especially once my adderall hits everyone's getting a text back oh yeah right everyone gets a text back i'm like hey y'all hey and then i'll start hearing from the girls like 10 i'm i'm girls the girls i'm girls at 10 and then i don't know i don't know if i have a routine i feel like i just i wake up i wake up what do i do in the morning i make a coffee usually that's like a whole thing i feel like that's like my ritual in the morning is making my coffee like even if i don't need to be drinking coffee i just love a second to like smell my coffee and like make it and like do that and then i don't know shower make a breakfast and that's it like literally and i am i am in my affirmations pill right now like immediately when i wake up i'm like headphones and affirmations and if i have time on the way i'll do like a little meditation one too but my priority in the morning is coffee and food and just like getting my bearings and like looking around and being like whoa i'm here yeah what's yours mine is wake up i do meditation i do five minutes maybe 20 minutes of meditate depending on how much time i have that day and then i've been doing my affirmations or do journaling right and then i stretch but that one's the one that usually if i'm busy i like kick yeah that's real as hell and i know but it's nice that you even think about it yeah i'm like i need to get back to it so if i can ultimately i stretch and then after that shower or go work out or eat actually i've used to not eat before working out but now i've started eating before i work out i feel like i figured that's better for me now so i've been eating and work out and then i do whatever the day calls but mostly i will i meditate like immediately when i wake up in bed and that's how i've been like not skipping it because yeah as soon as i wake up yeah that's so real yeah because that's kind of the catch i get into too is i like will wait and then i'm like oh i need to leave in five minutes it's not happening yeah but there's something about like i feel like too i if i meditate like right when i wake up i'm like sleeping that's like the thing that like i can overcome that i'm like oh we're on because every time i've done that i'm like like 10 minutes later i'm like what oh and then okay right and i love myself okay yes yes yes and then all that yes so i've been trying to like force myself to do it after coffee no that's after coffee that's good i'd be falling asleep though i really know and that's real as hell the intention exactly the intention is there and that's like all you need yeah but i know about that no i totally relate yeah exactly exactly exactly no and that's real as hell uh that's so real that's my morning getting in that bag i heard about this like 10-day silent retreat that are you gonna do it i don't say no because i don't think it's gonna work or because whatever i say no because the hill feels so high but i know that if i did it i would actually reach i don't know if i believe in reaching enlightenment but i would there would be something that would shift like there would be like a before i did that and there would be an after um but it's just one of those things where i'm like damn like can i commit to 10 days because once i'm there like girl you're there like you're there and like you're doing it for 10 days the first three i'd probably need a muzzle oh for sure just like one to just help guide for sure for sure just to get us into the one that's gonna like hurt me but one that is just gonna remind me that i can't talk yeah exactly yeah i feel like the only the part for me is just the voices would be but that's the whole point right and that's the voices because you can and it's there it's just the chomp is so fierce like that's like hard mode yeah that's hard mode for sure because it's hard enough genuinely like meditating for 10 minutes 15 minutes i'd be like oh hell they're here guys they're here and we're like ignoring and like that's okay and we're just like handling and they go and they come and everything but like 10 days is like okay so a day okay what yeah what what about 15 minutes minutes i did that in fifth grade i took like a day of silence it was like for a cause okay love yeah well and if it wasn't yeah it was for a really good cause that's like right but i remember i like my sister and i like wrote out like our notes and we're like we're taking a day of silence and i like handed it to my teacher and she was like okay boom but by the end of the day even like thank god oh my teacher was like boom but like she oh yeah girl she was like turn up like y'all like we'll accomplish like it's on um but towards the end of the day i was like like i just i'm like girl y'all might have to give me the mouth oh my gosh oh wow that's crazy yeah no but that's real as hell 10 days of silence people are doing it they are doing it people are doing it my friend was saying that the person that they like knew that did it like when she came out the only thing she said because i guess she made a post or whatever it was like before she went and then after she went she came out the only thing she said was wow i was like yeah yeah because i know it's actually so serious though but that's the kind of thing where i feel like i'd come back and the adjustment to society would be like difficult for me in a way i don't know if you've done it sound awful yeah if you've done the 10 days like let us know if you've ever been silent before let us know like let us know like not target like the silence for you so no worries but like yeah because i'm like girl that's like insane yeah okay we are running a little low on time ish but i want to hear about the project that you're working on and you were telling us about the inspo but i wanted to get into the i just want to hear as much as you're willing to share about process too yeah oh yes i'm like what do i let me think about what i want to share because right now i have the whole project in my head i see the cover art i see the videos i see the look i see my hair i see everything but i also want to like reveal it as i go but what i will say is this is the first time i'm working on an album and i'm specifically like i want to make music for masses of people like i want to make music that like really touches many people in the past i've made music and my intention has been there's a message i want to share there's something that i've gone through that i want to express there's a story someone told me that's really vulnerable that i want to share yeah it's never once crossed my mind to be like i deliberately want to make music for this yeah you know and it's a completely different way of making music and approaching music it's been so fun and i've been learning so much about it's like almost a more scientific in a way approach to making music and be like what tickles people's ears like everybody's ears And like really leaning into that. And like brings the masses together. Yes. And I think it's a great time for me to do that because I'm so clear about who I am. So it's like, how do I bring me into this thing that always exists? And I'm realizing music for masses of people is love. Like music that feels like, it's just a frequency. So I've just been really learning how to be more loving, I think. And so I have just, I'm so excited. It's coming really fast. I intended to be like, I'm gonna take a break after this album. I'm gonna go like live and do the end. No, the album feels like. Right, well it's here. Because you know, I'm just like a vessel serving this art that's coming through me. And it's like, make us like come through. So I'm just waking up every day and showing up and showing up and showing up. And I'm very excited. And I think it's gonna happen sooner than I can even imagine. Yeah, that's awesome. And I'm gonna be dancing my ass off. That's another thing. Like I will be dancing. Yeah. She's coming out. Thank God. Because the girls don't dance. No, the girls. The girls don't dance anymore. Like and the girls don't dance like from their heart anymore. Like we could do a little like follow a tutorial. But like to really express yourself from like that pure place is where I'm trying to. The panopticon. Like literally. Yeah. The panopticon done fucked up dancing. Like genuinely. No, because it really is. Because don't even get me started about that. I'm like, that's a whole. I know about that. That's a whole. Yeah. Yep. I know about that and I see it. But I also have some divas. If you're ever trying to lock in, I have some divas that dance. Like, yes. I'm like, send them my way. Please. I want to just dance. We can keep up that. In the acting class. Those two things. Yes. And we can handle that. We'll handle it. I don't know many actors, but all my friends are dancers. So I'm like, no. Give me the actors. We need to be the actor friends. We'll be the actor friends. But yeah, I'm really excited. And what else? And oh, I'm definitely stepping into my R&B bag too with this. Because I was kind of like off of calling myself an R&B artist. Because I feel like people called my music R&B before I said it. And I'm like. She's like. It's because I'm black. Y'all just think I'm R&B music. I'm like. Literally. If I look different, you wouldn't call it this. So I was a little bit like mad about R&B as a whole. But I think I've healed. And I've come to this place where I'm like. I don't care what y'all call me. I know what I am. And if you want to call it R&B, call it R&B. But I'm like leaning into my R&B upbringing and inspiration. And it feels really organic. Totally. So good. No, period for real. Like actually. Because I'm like, yes. Yeah. Yes. And we'll be waiting. Yes. I'm like. I want to play you some stuff. But we'll be waiting. Wait. Can I play you a song after we finish recording? Oh. Yes. I want to play something. Yes. I'm like. Yes. Like literally. I'm like literally. Like yay. Dude. Of course. Like so appreciated. This was so fun. Just happy to have you here. Seriously. I'm so grateful. And this place is so cute. I'm like. Call me back anytime. Shout out to you. Oh. For surely. Literally anytime. We will. Please. I want to be a regular. All our girls are regulars. Like it really is. It's family time. It really is. The family. It is. No it is. And you both are so genuine. Like to the people watching. Like they're. You're the same on and off camera. And you're so loving. And you're so caring. And since I met you. You've both been so supportive. So I just. Thank you for having me. And. What the hell. That's. More success. And more visibility. And more abundance. To the both of you. Well to you too. And to everyone watching. For I'm like. Y'all already know what we have to say. Like step out. And do your one too. And like. Yes. Let's talk. Let's talk. You know. Yeah. Well thanks. So that's really sweet. Yes. For better or for worse. To our friends who want to shut the hell up. Y'all get it. Y'all get it. Thank you. Thank you. Just thank you. So we do this really fun thing. I can't remember it. I know. I'm like. Yes. Hold on. We do this thing called Neighborhood Watch. And it's truly anything. Like. It can be. Music you're listening to. A movie you watch. A book you read. Or just like a saying. A thought you thought. Anything. Just something. Something you want to put on the girl's radar. Just like a little watch. Bulletin. Yeah. My Neighborhood Watch is. Going back to what we said earlier. Everything is an affirmation. Become aware of how you are affirming yourself. And know that you have the power to affirm yourself in the direction that helps you grow. Let's make that a period. Periodica. Periodica. Periodica. I like that. I already have said her before. But like since we talked about her this episode. Like Lavendaire. Lavendaire. If you see this. Like genuinely girl comes in on the couch. Like I need to talk to you. I need to talk to you about some things. Like genuinely just thank you for everything that you do. And that you've done. For real. Because girl. You're in my head. Every morning. My Neighborhood Watch. Oh gosh. What is it? Like us every time. I know. I'm like what's my neighborhood? I know. I'm trying to think. I'm trying to think. I'm trying to think. Because I can't keep saying it's married at first sight. Yes you can. I'm sorry. Welcome to My Neighborhood Watch's Love After Lockup. Let's just wake that up. Which season? Oh this season. I'm watching season seven. And I'm low key like guys honestly. Period. No. Period. Period. Period. Because they play. Married at first sight. Right. And you watch. They're not playing actually. Are they still doing their horrible. I heard they're showing all the men this season. What? I heard the men this season are like really awful. Oh. Well I'm still watching. Okay. And I'm sorry. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm like I will say that when it comes to like I there's well no they're pretty well. But maybe I don't. Sorry. Maybe that was. No. I don't know if I spoiled. I feel like that's pretty like biblically accurate. There's like one that I'm like you know he's younger. So I'm like he just needs a little one too. Yeah. And then he's going to be like to like he needs to do the affirmation. Right. Right. He still has a shot. But like his like head and his heart is definitely in the right place. Okay. And I'm like rooting for him. Right. And I'm like whatever happens in his relationship. But honestly everyone's being like dead serious. There's honestly two guys that I'm like. And they literally get married for real for real. Yeah. And then they get an old. Oh an annulation. An annulation. An annulation. Okay. T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T. Because I'm like that would be my worst fear of all. So like really happy for everyone doing that. Yeah. I'm like oh. Really happy for everyone. Like it's awesome. And you see they're like. Well we'll see if it's congrats or not. Yeah. By the end of the season. Okay. Well yes. Let the people know where to find you. Where they can find you. You can find me at WhoIsUmi on all of my socials. Thank you. You can stream my music at Umi. Go listen to my latest album People Stories. All the songs are based on stories that people told me. So it's very. No words. Just go listen. Yeah. And follow me because I also do community events called You Plus Me. Where I do. Yeah. Community meditations. Hikes. Parties. Sound baths. So if you want to meet friends. If you feel lonely. Or if you just want to try something new. Come to my next event. And you'll find out about it on my socials. Yep. 10 out of 10 recommend. And you are going to have to start sending me that by pigeon. Because I'm like not on socials right now. But like. I will text you. But I'm like girl. Because I'm like need that. Need that. Need that. Need that. Need that. Let's get to know. Guys. And just thank you. Hey thanks for being here. And just sending everyone love. And like all the things. And like hope everything is going well. And just like happy fall. And all that. You know what I mean. And thanks for being here. Always. Love y'all. We'll see you next week. Bye. For the first time ever. Texans have an energy plan that combines free nights all year. With daytime summer savings. You get free nights every night. All year long. Plus a 25% bonus toward your daytime. All summer. It's a first of it's kind plan. Created for how Texans actually use energy. Discover how much more you could save. With free nights and cool summer. TXU Energy. Rep number 10004. Tammy regularly hauls stuff to her kids at college. That's why she shops at BJ's Wholesale Club. Saving up to 25% off grocery store prices. Beef jerky. Microwave meals. Laundry pods even. They can't screw up. Have you met my kids? And with BJ's gas. 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