Eric Andre Goes Full Korean

Hey everybody, um, so our friend of ours passed away. This is we're recording it the day after. Um, it hit us hard and it's for all of our tree. Um, use a dear friend of ours. And I just don't, I really just don't know what to say about. I'm still processing it. Yes. Uh, we don't know what to say. So we're not gonna say much other than we loved him so very much. He was a good friend of ours, a part of our world. His, um, he'll be on the, uh, an episode of the bad game show in a couple of weeks. But, uh, he was, uh, near and dear to us. We loved him very much. He was a really good dude and we're gonna miss him a lot. And, uh, we love you. We love you. And, uh, he'll forever be a bad friend. Hey, everybody. Andrew is the best comic on planet earth and he's doing shows in San Diego, the sound Del Mar. Um, June 28th two shows. We're doing an early show and a late show down in Del Mar. Bobby's, uh, hometown. Please come out and see me San Diego. Uh, I love you very much. And then I'm playing a St. Charles, which is St. Louis, um, Missouri, their August 7th. Go to Andrew Santino dot com for those tickets. Andrew Santino dot com. You two are bad friends. You are these two idiots. Happy birthday to you. Um, it's, it's funny because, um, you're dressed in a suit, wearing a tie because you're going to a big event. You're going to an event where Steven Spielberg is going to talk about disclosure day. And I told you, uh, let me finish, um, I told you before this podcast, just go now, go now because you're not going to be here for the pod. And I realized why you stayed for the happy birthday song. Because also I wanted it because you didn't know it was my birthday. Yeah. In order to care. I know. Yeah. In order to spare. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, blow out your Ralph's cake. Happy birthday, kiddo. Thanks, Bob. Yeah. That was crazy. My wish was I wish Bobby cared about my birthday. And right when I blew it out, you said happy. It's so weird that you said that because my, my, my emotions just changed about it. And I'm going to give you a hug. It was like obsession. Wow. The wishbone. Yeah. Yeah. Come here with wishbone. Wishbone. I saw it. No. And I'll say this. Are you drinking? You're not drinking this. No. So you got this just for me to drink alone. Well, for, I want him a cone to have some. Okay. I'll, I'll cheers you. Yeah. And you know it pisses me off about this kid. I sent him a text this morning. And in the text, uh, it said, happy birthday. You continue to let me down. Um, here, cheers. Cheers. All right. Cheers. Okay. Kind of operation. Are we running here? I sent him a glasses at least. I sent him a grill glasses from Ralph's. Okay. Happy birthday. You continue to let me down year after year. And I know this following year will be just the same. Hmm. Love you. I didn't text you, but I like to do a live text. Yeah. Live text him. Yeah. Um, you've grown enormously over the years. Um, I've realized you do have talent. You really do. Thank you. Yeah. You're a creative kid. You have talent. And I, you know, being a Hollywood piece of shit is going to, I'm going to treat you nicer because I believe, I believe one day you will get that opportunity. So I'm going to change right and go kid kiddo dude. You got a kid. And, and you're talented. And I embrace you. And I want you to have a good time tonight. And whatever you need, I got here. If he gives you money, I'll give you double. Wow. Okay. I gave him five grand. I'm going to give you ten grand. No, but I'm giving him five grand for what and five grand on his birthday for what birthday party, huh? Why'd you give him five grand today? Because I, well, he needed the money. He said he can't pay rent. So I gave him five grand. And then I said on Friday at your birthday party, I'll give you another five. So ten. I'll give me, so 20. Yeah. Yeah. But then I had to see the receipts first to know that you got the money. And then I will do it. It was cat. I gave him cash. I'd like to see the cash. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have the cash on you? It's in my car. It's in your car. Go grab it. It's, it's red, it's red headed trickery. He's not a redhead. I know you. I'm not a trick. You're a deceiver. You're a treat. Yeah, yeah. Well, what annoys me about the kid is he saw me get out of my car and he stared at my hand like an autistic little, an autistic little spy. And he was like, what is that? Is that a gift for me? And it's annoying because it is, but it's so annoying that you stared, you didn't even say how you just stared at my hands to see when I walked out of my car. Like he's just like such a little autistic weirdo. He didn't say hi. He just looked down at my arms to see what I'm carrying. And then looked up at me. That's why I pushed him as hard as I could. What did I give you? He hasn't given it to me yet, but I believe it's a record. Oh, it's a record. It's on the shape of the package. Two records now. Oh, two records now. Okay. Well, three including the Bobby will get me. No, I'm not going to give you record. I'm going to do something better. Yeah. I'm going to double down on it. All right. Get the record. Okay. Happy birthday, bud. This is a very special. And so let me warn you something before you do this, know that this is graded and rated twice. Okay. If you know anything about collections. Okay. You're so annoying. Okay. You're still you are so fucking annoying. I learned it. I learned it this morning. I learned a lot. I don't know anything about it. It's like the cards you gave me from Arsenal. Yeah. I mean, what those were super valuable. I understand it. That's why it's in the safe. I didn't know anything about cards. I understand. So tell me how much this is. So all I know is, yeah, this woman told me these are graded. The the cover is mint. It's M. It got a mint cover. And I got two pluses plus plus on the physical like air one water. It's very special. On the physical on the physical album itself is graded. This is sick. That is so sick, dude. It's the a Japanese a Japanese press. Now check this out. Be very careful. Open it up and show the record. This is the sickest part. Look at that. People can see it. So it's it's red vinyl. That's amazing. Don't take it out. How much is it? If you take it out, she said, make sure you play it. If you're going to take it out, play it. Yeah. But don't like take it out and pull it out of the. I take my record. Can I be honest with you? What? This is a copy. It's 96 cents. I got it on Amazon. Thank you. That's very nice. It's very rad, right? Well, I'm just going to let you know that I knew. I know how much it is. You do. I know. Can I Google it, right? Google it. And so I'm going to Venmo you later. And I want that receipt. Yeah. That's a receipt. We need it. Okay. Yeah. It's not a competition, but it is. You made it for life. I don't make it. Yes, you did. If you're energy, even when I came in here, your energy was like fucking angry and like I had a tough day. That's why tell me about your day. No, I had an ocular today. I'm ocular migrant today. I have about what happened. I haven't had one in months and months, but you go blind. I go blind in my eye. My left eye. Oh, no. I know. It's really, it sucks. It sucks shit. Did you have a dizzy spell in the bathroom again? Remember? Yes. The little slip. I can't wait till you have a stroke. And when you do, I'm going to walk into the hospital, and you'll relearn how to speak again. Okay. Well, that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck you. Fuck you. What are you doing today? You started. No, you were angry before. And then I came in and then I'm just trying to have a talk with the guys. And here's you. Yeah. Can I say something? Can I say something? You're Trump. Can I say something? Can I say something? And I couldn't let I couldn't get anything out. Yeah. We're living in a simulation. I believe we're living in a simulation. That's a fact. I'll tell you what's happened. Okay. What happened? I was in Toronto. I was in an elevator with this tall man, white hair glasses. And he was particularly hip but old. And you know, when old people get they stop drinking sexy, they start dressing weirder. You know what I mean? Like loud sweatpants. So you now? Yes. That's you now. That's me now. Okay. I don't care how my hair goes. Right. Yesterday I did all green with socks. You've never cared how you how you dress. You always dress funky. Yeah. Yeah. I'm always been like you've always been a fun. Right. So this guy had a specific look. Right. And he had this smaller wife. Very pretty. Right. And I just go, dude, I like your style. He's like, thanks, dude. You're comedian, right? I go, yeah. And that was pretty much the conversation. Right. I'm in Chicago at the hotel. And they just walk by me. The same couple. The same couple. And he goes, hey, I go, what the fuck? And he goes, what do you mean? I go, didn't he? He goes, yeah. And I went simulation. He goes, dude, you're telling me he didn't go to Chicago to see you. I assume he did. No, no, no. He was just randomly there. No. Yes. What? Yes. Where? Here's what happened in my mind. This guy's trying to play it cool. No. That's not what I play it out. No. Gets back to the room with his wife. And she's like, I love Bobby Lee. And he's like, you should have said something. She goes, Oh, I don't know. He's playing a show. It's all sold out as it always is. And then the guy goes, "Oh, there's tickets available in Chicago, Chicago, Toronto, very short flight." And he goes, "You know what? Let's go to Chicago and see him." And it just so happens that the kind of people that can pull the trigger last minute would stay at a hotel that you'd be staying at because it's five-star. I know that. Okay. And that's what happened. All right. And I believe that's exactly what happened. That's not what happened. What happened? It's a simulation. Okay. Here's another thing that I experience that my girlfriend can even, you know what I mean? Tell you. She can attest. We're walking down the street. This is a couple weeks ago, right? There's a car, a Lincoln. Continental? Yes. A old school car, right? Black. Yeah, I love them. Lincoln. So we're walking down the street. On the left side, there's a Lincoln content little parked, right? There's four black guys, right? The windows rolled down. There's a woman in the driver's seat, but she's parked, right? And they're dancing. They're always dancing. And I love the freedom of dance. I mean, I don't care what color you are. We're pro dancers. Yeah. River dance. Break swing. Whatever. Break dancing. Break dancing. I love it, right? They're fucking dancing. We're walking by, right? Boombox. Yeah. Boombox. Yes, what? Yeah. No music. They were in sync. They were in complete. There was literally no music. And they were dancing. And she's dancing in the, like, bobbing her head. And there was no music. And as we turn the corner, I looked at my girlfriend, I go, "Are you real?" Did she hear music? No. And I don't even think you're real. Did they have headphones? What? They had no headphones. Silent disco? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was so surreal. You know what it is? They were shooting like a target ad. And you can't play the music while you're filming. And he just saw a scene from a target ad. Or can you imagine if we aren't a simulation and there's a crack and they're letting you see it? I know. I think they're letting me see it. They're letting you see it because they go, "No one will believe Bobby." He says crazy shit for years. Yeah. 20 years. He's been saying nonsense on podcasts. No one's going to believe him. Yeah. And so they will tease you. That's what the aliens would do. Yeah. They go, "Fuck him. They'll never believe him. He's crazy." Okay. Last simulation. I'm at a restaurant. Okay. Yeah. I don't get a menu. Okay. No menu. Right. So I just walk up to the house and I go, "Can I get a menu?" And he go, "What are you doing here?" What? What do they say? Like I'm in Truman show. Yeah. What? What? Like it was almost as if, right? I wasn't supposed to approach this person. You weren't supposed to be there today. Right. Another day you could have been there. I could have been there. Like he was rehearsing. Right. Right. Okay. The cooks were like, "Oh shit. Right." And I looked in the kitchen. No vegetables. Nothing's going on. We just want it right. There's a cast chair. Someone gets up. Yeah. Yeah. And he was almost as if like I wasn't supposed to be there and he didn't even know what I was talking about. Well, he wasn't supposed to be there. And then he was kind of looking around from it. It was really fucking weird. Let's play the logic card. They're probably switching from lunch to dinner. And he's like, "What do you, we don't, we're unprepared." Okay. If I'm, if I'm going to play double that. Very, I want you to because I don't want to lose my mind. Well, you should. I mean, we. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to lose my mind. Yeah. So what you're saying to me is this then. Okay. That the two people I ran into from Toronto in Chicago secretly. Fimes. Well, right. Our fans. Not secretly. They're fans. You have millions of. He has no. I had to tell him what I did. You said he said you're a comedian, right? Right. And I go, "Yeah." He's like, "Oh." Which is him playing coy. Okay. Okay. He's a rich guy playing cool. You're. He doesn't want to in front of his wife go, "Are you the comedian?" That doesn't make any sense. It does. People do that all the time. People try to act cool all the time and. All right, so let's. You're a stand-up, right? No. All right. And then they know everything you've done. All right. Let's. Let's just say, let's. Okay. So Lou Reed, for instance, when he was alive, right? He did a poetry reading. I went to it. All right. Right. And if I ran into Lou Reed on the street, right, it wouldn't be like I would pretend, right, that it wasn't fucking Lou Reed. But you're an entertainment. You're talking about a guy who's probably in finance. He doesn't do this for a living. You're in his face. All right. So. And you're a guy who's. And what you're telling me is the black people dancing is a target commercial. Yeah. I mean, they are. I just happen to walk in for a shoot. It could be Walmart. It could be Walmart. Interesting. Costco. Let's go Costco. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kmart. Is Kmart still around? Yeah. And I came in the wrong time at that restaurant. Yep. Okay. These three things. Those. All three things can be true. 100%. It's not a simulation. I mean, I'll give you the. I had one. I'm not gonna lie. Okay. Give me a simulation. Something fucked me up. And the. The garbage? The garbage can? The garbage truck came? I sat at the front window. Yeah. I was looking out, having coffee in the morning. I watched the. Because my house was asleep. No one's awake with me. I'm up early. Yeah. I watched the garbage truck. Grab. My bin. My black bin. With the eye, it was about seven in the morning. Okay. It was an Italian garbage. Yes. Yes. And I see it happen. Yeah. I go back. I sit down. I'm on the computer. I'm doing some stuff. Ba-da-da. She wakes up. Dogs up. Dogs need to be taken out to poop and pee. Yeah, one dog. Huh? I said she wakes up. Dog wakes up. You said dogs. You said plural. Hmm. Also, we're correcting each other's English. Well, when you say dogs, you imply there's more than one dog. Maybe. And you have one fucking dog. There is. No, there isn't. Maybe. Oh, so you got a new dog? Maybe. It's so funny because it would be something that you would tell me. Maybe. Okay. But the simulation hasn't communicated whether or not I should tell you. Continue the story. I go outside to take dog for poop. Your pack of wolves. Well, there might as well just imbellish. Okay. The herd. The herd. And my garbage can is closed. Yeah. So I grab it to wheel it up to the house and it's full of trash. Oh my. Dude, that's so annoying. No, but I was like somebody switched trash. Somebody didn't take out the trash or some shit and they just moved theirs where mine was. Okay. Did you wait a minute? Okay. My fucking address is on it. So it was mine. But what you have to do then is open up the trash can to see if those are your items. Because if you look at my trash can, you know it's my trash can. There's banana peels. Wait, what else? What? What? I have banana peels. Yeah. Right. I'll probably empty bottle of and cans of red. Red, red, red, red, red, red ball. I'm sorry. Kimchi. Yeah. Old balls of kimchi. Bob. You know, fuck you. Some flowers. It's. Yes. I think your bit. That was. No, it wasn't. There's norbin was. Yeah. Yeah. I also have empty bottles of instant coffee. I buy 15 empty bottles of instant coffee. Why are you buying instant coffee? You have no idea. I have a factory at home. You're making instant coffee? No, I have 15 bottles of it. Okay. So my pool. My pool asked honey. Today they said, um, your swimming pool is black. And I go, yeah, it's pure black. I go, yeah, it's fine. But how is it black? Instant coffee. Why are you putting that in your pool? It's not of your business. Trying to crack the simulation. I get what you're up to. It's a simulation cracker, dude. You're trying to crack it. You, you, you, you add weird. You buy olive oil, which is I have not olive oil white vinegar. Okay. I bought 15 boxes of white vinegar. Uh-huh. Yeah. The simulation doesn't know what to do with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, why are you putting coffee? You know, I mean, what your pool? What? Why are you putting coffee in your pool? It's for my t-shirts. What? You're dying your shirts with coffee and chlorine. The fonts. The font. Yeah. Although today, have you lost your fine? What is going on? Trying to recreate made worn. Google, oh, you want to do it made worn. Yeah. So Google instant coffee. But why is it in your swimming pool? It's not, it's not literally that. So this is what, this is what happened. Just put in your tub. I know. I know. This is what happened. Okay. We'll tell you how to do this. I'm making it up. I'm experimenting with different things. Okay. So this is what I did. Okay. Dude, you're bored. I'm so bored. No, I'm so busy. I'm so busy. Yeah. This is what I'm doing. And you get to fill up your pool with instant coffee. All right. So check it out. This shirt I got yesterday. Uh-huh. Brand new. It was white. Yeah. It's right. So it's like, you put, right? You put like little paint, right? Got it. Right? That's what my daughter's loving. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I do with sandpaper. You sandpaper it. Yeah. I sandpaper the whole shirt. So you buy new shit and make it look old. Yeah. I do experiment. So the swimming pool thing doesn't work. You need probably a truck load of coffee for it to work. So, you know, I mean, 15 bottles of instant coffee does not work in the pool. Yeah. The swimming pool is so big. It's so big. Yeah. Yeah. It was too much. The tub. You're right. I'll go, I'll go tub next time. All right. But I do, I do things when I - Not bored, it's not boredom. It's not boredom, what it is is-- - It's much time. - It's not time either. Because we've been very busy, you went on in the road. - All right. - But we've read home. - I know, so at home, it's either I play video games, okay, right, which I haven't played in four or five months. A single video game. - Girlfriend guy. - What? - He's a girlfriend guy now. - I'm a girlfriend guy, and number two, right? I have a doom scrolled. - Mother's great, right? - So then to occupy my time, I have a hobby, which is distressing shirts. - I like it. - Okay. - But are you planning on selling them? - No. - You should. - Yeah, today I bought, so I have 20 shirts coming, probably over the weekend, and then I have 20 more shirts coming next week. - We'll just enjoy your only sweatshirt shop. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I have a sweatshirt. - Klarna, hey now, later, or over time, whatever fits your life. I have a friend named Alex, right? And he wants this traxuit. I go, do you use Klarna? - Yeah. - You can do four easy payments, and he has the traxuit now, and it looks terrible. - It does, but he was able to afford it. - Well, because I tell you, they have a lot of flexibility you can pay now, later, or over time, which is great. You have the options to do that with Klarna, and they have value transparency and control without any surprises. Is the problem nowadays with these payment apps? A lot of people are like, they throw something at you, that looks big and good, and then they hook you, and they do the bait and switch. But Klarna does not do that. And here's the thing about Klarna, which is very helpful in this day and age. A lot of people are noticing shrink flation. Do you know what that is? Things are getting more expensive, and they're giving you less. And you know what? The way to fight back is only get stuff that you want, and only get stuff that means something to you. You can pay over time. You don't have to pay it off right now. So if you're really looking for something that's important to you, Klarna helps you get what you need, and/or want, and not have to pay now, you can do it later, or over time, on your schedule. Flexibility, pay now later, or over time, like Andrew said, value, transparency, control, and no surprises. That's right. Download the Klarna app today, or visit Klarna.com to learn more. 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These guys, I'm obsessed with their health and wellbeing. Yeah, and as me as well. Like for instance, that bad friendship you're wearing is a great shirt, it's one of my favorites. I could distress her for you. Actually, that would be cool distressed. You don't want to distress? I definitely want to distress. Okay. He wants to destress is what he's very stressed out. 'Cause to me, it looks brand new, too brand new for me. Well, do you want to tell Bob the unfortunate news? His child is leaving him and his wife. Yeah. His kid is getting a divorce from her parents. Legally emancipating. Emancipating. Well, wait, your child is leaving your wife and you. Yeah, decided. And your child is what, one year's old? Three. Oh, three. One? I don't know how the whole of this kid is. She's been around, dude. I've never met her. She has a bank account. Oh, she does. Yeah, okay. And she just said, I'm leaving. I'm leaving. Yeah, so this is what you do. 'Cause I know this is what happens. It's happened to him before, he knows. Good, I did it. Yeah. And my parents were two weeks. What you do is this, right? You let him leave. Yeah. And so I left. I packed all my stuff as a kid. Me too. I'm going. Daddy, mommy. I'm going to go leave home. I'll come back. And then my dad was like, oh, go, go. I made it to the driveway and I cried and I ran back inside, right? You don't do that. You locked the doors. Locked the doors. Yeah. Yeah. You locked it a week. See, I-- I'd never do it again. I'd say lock the doors. Yeah. Change the locks. Call the police if they try to come back. Yeah, yeah. This is someone as a B&E. Because what it teaches them is strength. Yep. And that's why I've been able to win Uno. So in the how-- I'm sorry. I like it. No, I-- You're the Uno King, babe. I'm going to show you some photos that I have that I have. How many games of Uno are you wanting to run? I'm four in a row right now, dude. Wow. Yeah, and I'm going to just show you. And I've been trolling anyone that plays Uno with me. I troll them with this. And this says Uno King, four in a row. Four in a row. Four in a row, guys. Okay. And I play with me, my girlfriend, honey, jewels, and her sister, Esa. Do you ever let your girlfriend win? I say I help her, but I sabotage her. You do. That's smart. Yeah. I play mine games. That's good. Yeah. Yeah. If equal rights, man, if we want to be equal, we've got to play it up. For instance, if I'm sitting next to my girlfriend, and she wants to plus form it. For me. Huh? I'll look it right. I go, "Do we have a nice dinner tonight?" You manipulate. I manipulate. Smart. I look at honey. She's weak. Yeah. No. She's weak. Okay. And, you know, like those mystery cards. I was, when if she looks at me, like exchange your hand with my hand, I'll go like this. Right. And she won't do it. Good. Smart. That dude. Yeah. I use mine games. I use mine games. And manipulation. And manipulation. And power. Yeah. And bullying. Good. Yeah. Yeah. That's how Uno was. That's what it was meant to do. Yeah. I mean, bring up Uno. When did Uno start? Yeah. I got to tell you. But the origins of this were we're using the same tactics that Bobby's using to win this game. Yeah. Uno was invented 71 by Merle Robbins, a barber from Redding, Ohio, Crater of the Game, and his kitchen table was all in argument with his son about the rules of crazy eights. Yeah. There's no decks where the Robbins family. It's crazy. So it was another game they were fighting over to make a new game. And anyone that says that Uno is pure lock is out of their minds. There is skill involved. Tactics. It's tactics. It's tactics. Yeah. Yeah. It's using what you have. It's what you have. Oh, he died, huh? Yeah, he died. And God bless you, Merle. What a great game. Great game, bud. Yeah. Merle Robbins. What a great game. And he probably made a good chunk out of that game. You think? No. This is one of those things. Like, you know, like the chicken who did the Nike slush, they gave her 35 bucks. That was what it was. And then he gave her a bunch of stock, but the stock wasn't worth. Oh, wait a minute. Did make money. I know it. Right. Sold the game for $50,000 up front plus a royalty of $0.10 per game sold. Oh, that's good, then. That is really good. That's good. Well, let's see this. Google about how many decks of Uno have been sold since it's inception. I'd like to know. I want to know. How much Merle made? Yeah. Ten cents was low. $500,000,000 decks, $500,000,000 decks. Times ten cents. It was ten cents. Is that what it was? Yes. A dollar. Yeah, fuck. He got fuck. I mean, he probably didn't know inflation was going to be what it was. He had no idea. He had no idea. But I would have done a dollar, instinctually. Highball it. It's Jenga. What do they sell for? Let's go Jenga. Who made Jenga? And what do they sell for? No, I'm telling you, Jenga, I'll get you every time. Yeah, yeah. I'll invent it by British board. 'Cause it ain't right. It's a great quintant turn to him. To him, to him. Oh, fuck. You'll get it. It's a great turn to move anyway. Jenga. Unchain. No. Yeah. Cut that out. Oh, leave it in. Jenga unblocked. Yeah. Leslie Scott in the early 1970s developed the game for a wooden from a wooden block stacking actively. Her family played in Ghana, West Africa. It's got interest in the game in London, Toy Fair in 1983. It originally came with mosquito nets included in the Jenga set, sold millions of copies. They launched it, the London Toy Fair. What do we have? Toy Fair still is the Los Angeles Toy Fair still a thing we should go. No, but let's see. 1986. No, okay. It brought to about 1986. It's sold millions of copies worldwide. So how much, let's see, how much did Leslie Scott make from Jenga? Can we make? Yeah, I want to know. How much did Leslie Scott make from Jenga? Yeah. Michael Scott's first love. How much did she make five cents per every $10 in sale? So 20% royalty rate on the game. That's really good. She wants upward. So how many? What? No, no, no. It says Scott's initial licensing room is not highly lucrative in the beginning and she wants to owed upwards of $230. at thousand early debt before it became a global phenomenon. Then I'm sure after the fact she worked out just fine. Okay. Because the super sugar guy, the black cut end vent of that got stolen, that got stolen from him. Yeah, I don't like that. You know, I don't like it at all. Well, what are you gonna do? Well, he didn't get some money back from it. We looked that up. Remember you talked about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyone that invents a game that's like cultural and, you know, they should reap the rewards, but these gigantic companies gobble them up. Well, yeah, in the beginning, they're like, great idea, bud. We'll give you 10 cents a game. And that sounds pretty good. Yeah. No, it doesn't. No, but at the time you go, oh my god, in 68, 1968, yeah. Right. Yeah. But right now, like what you invented a game? Yeah, I did. Yeah, I'm Mattel. Oh, hi. Hi, I'm Dr. Mattel. Well, I'm Dr. Mattel. Hello. Hello. I know that you love the game. I love the game. And it's it's called catch him while you can catch him while you can. I love it. Right. And you see the game here's laid out very. Yeah. So yeah, I love the figurines a black guy. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the white police office. Well, those are. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're actually ice office. Oh, these are ice offers. Yeah. And there's the brown guy too. Yes, he's working. What a great game catch you work at. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they can never catch him. Can they? They can't know much faster in the buildings that you have. Yeah. I love it. They hide in the buildings. And this and that. The buildings are all owned by those guys over there. Oh, the ones with that little funny hats on. Yes. Yeah. I love that. It's a good game. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they're in the sky for some reason. They're always up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Unless clouds and they're in the sky. Unless they can't be in those buildings because something might happen. Exactly. Right out of them. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I love the console. Thank you. Catch me if you can. Yeah. But anyway, is that so I'll give you. I will give you $1 every and every game sold. Done. Really? Yes. $1 for every game. That sounds incredible. Yeah. We're selling. I made this in my garage. We're selling this for $100. $100 for the game. For the game. Oh, we're charging $100. You'll get $1. I'm just a humble man from Mansfield. Hi. So I just I think I'll take the deal. You'll take the deal. I will. Okay. 30 30 years later broke living. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. You got to go higher. Well, you got to get a lawyer. You can get 25% 50%. 50. They'll never do 25. 25. We'll do it. Yeah. 25. I'd take it. 25% of every game you should sell is I think fair. Well, I let's you know what? We should invent something and see if we can go to patent with it. I had a I had an invention. You know what I find my wife had one today. We were on a hike and she goes. She had like a little sling backpack. The ones that you have. And there was a a dude with an umbrella to protect him from the agent guy son. They don't you know. Yeah. My people. And she thought would it be cool if there was like a umbrella in this little like sling backpack. So you could use for the sun or something changes and then folds back up into the backpack. Okay, don't say that. Oh, fuck. Is that a good idea? Yeah. It's a good idea. Fuck. I know. Can I give you you one idea that I never I thought of in high school? We had in like economics class. They were like invent something. Yeah. I played tennis like one time in high school. I never played in gym class. And then every time you hit it in the net, it bounces, right? It just will hit stop and bounce unless you're good and you never hit the net. But I thought amateurs hit the net all the fucking time. How come it just stays there? Like how come there's not a quarter pipe on each side of the net. So at least when it hits, it would roll back some of the way to you. In fact, you could invent a you could invent like a wheeling system to kick it back to you a little bit more. Yeah, but you stand there. Not at the net. You almost never are that close to the net. Yeah, but your toes are sometimes that almost never you that close to the net. And also it would only be used in amateur practice never for like play. I don't like that idea because it's good. No, it's not good. It's very good because if you've ever played tennis, you're like, God, I got to go. Yeah, I play tennis. But it would help get it at halfway back to you. Okay. So it hits the net and there's a curve. There's a quarter pipe on each side. Right. Right. And I think yeah, but but a tennis ball bounces. But a lot of times it hits the net because of the give of the net. It holds it, right? So it would hold it and then slide it right back down. I will look. How about this? I want to do it. Let's try it. I think I think it's not going to work. And guess what? We can and now and now. Well, yeah, you get engineering and physics wise. I don't think it's going to work. Right? Back me up. Let's test it. Let's test it. Let's test it. Let's test it. It's how about this? Yeah. You would we would toggle with the difference. I have another idea for us. Please. Yeah. Prefer us. I was in Chicago. And these are all copy written. You can't steal these. All right. Professor Pizza. Yeah. Wants to do a frozen pizza with us. Really. Yeah. Interesting. Interesting. Wait a minute. Yeah. Like a bad friend's frozen pizza. Yeah. With a conjunction with Professor Pizza. And what is the, what's the, what's the, what makes ours like unique? Different. What do we do with it? Boogie meat. Oh, kimchi stuff like that. Phenomenal. Yeah. And it's some of its deep dish. I think half and half. Half and half. Right. And we do it on gold belly. Start there. Yeah. Yeah. That's a gene. You know, can I pitch something? Yeah. I don't know. Hard. This is easy. He wants to do it. I don't know how hard this is to do. But I've told you before deep dishes and what we don't really eat that in Chicago. We do when you guys are in there. I ate it there. I know. But we don't. What I'm saying is, and so you do when you live there, you just people don't eat it that much. It's just, we usually eat thin thin crust tavern style, which is square cut pizza. Detroit style. Oh, it's tavern style. It's Chicago. Yeah. Yeah. It's right. It's ours anyway. Tavern style. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's tavern style. Eminem has something else to say about it. Eminem's wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Eminem's not even from eight mile. He's from six mile. Okay. I've been over there. Yeah. Mom's spaghetti. They don't make that on a mile. Okay. That's only on six. I've been there. Okay. Let's move on from half of the pizza is tavern style thin and half as deep dish. Okay. It's a monster mashup. It's a monster man. It's like a Taco Bell KFC. Here's the problem with that. If I may. Sure. You put in the oven. How do you cook it? Well, once the deep dish dough is going to be, you're going to, you're going to be layered differently. It's you could do that. Yeah. Because by the time it comes out of the oven, the thin part is going to be black. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Your part's going to be black and burnt. Check it out. I mean, check it out. Yeah. You cooked that half separately. And you would join it with cheese. What's the binding agent? Cheese. So they're half moons. I see what you're saying. So the frozen pizza comes to your house. Mm-hmm. There's a side of sauce and cheese. Yep. Right? Yep. You put the whole thing in. Correct. Right? Yep. You could get to a certain point. That's right. Then you pull it back out. Then you add the sauce and the cheese and some toppings on top of that part. At your leisure. I love that word. I love the first thing of that word. Right? And you put it back in. Yep. That I can think. But we'd have to test it. Bad friends mashup. We would. We would get in the kitchen. Yeah. We'd have to eat what could I say something else. Yeah. Yeah. The tennis thing. Bullshit. It's fucked. It doesn't work. I like it. Yeah. I don't like it. I'm I think but the bad but the bad friends pizza I like. Bad friends pizza we can do. The monster mashup will do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But he really said that. So let's something that maybe we can talk about. I'm down. I would love to do that. I love to do that. Because every time I go there, I eat his pizza. Yeah. Can I just say the tour with Carlos, there was no rule hang up. Really? And there's one thing and that's all. Wait a minute. Time out before you play anything. Yeah. Before you play anything. Yeah. What give me your grievances? Area out your grievances. There was only one grievance. It wasn't only a grievance. Grief. It was at the airport and you were being. Andrew, you would have been on my side. What happened? A lady got in my. No, no, no. That's not what. Can I say? Well, I feel like you're not going to tell the truth. Let him finish. It's his birthday. It's my birthday? McCone. He's gone. Yeah. Yeah. So someone gets to pick up the birthday date. All right. Right. So that could quite possibly be true what you're saying. Someone got in your way. They did. Yeah. But then you said, excuse me. Yeah. They didn't say anything. Yeah. And then you said what? Say it back. Say it back. You said that to him? No. He said it to the lady that he said, excuse me to. Oh, he's right. Yeah. Say it back. Yeah. Are you kidding me? Say it back. Then don't say excuse me in the first place. No, because it's a cordial. Two people were at him at who was at fault? She was. She was in my way. But that's that's arguable. She was in your way while you're walking. Yeah. She like did across like a like a 45. What was the ton? What are you here? Let's hear it. Excuse me. All right. So all right. I'm walking. Let's hear it. Yeah. Let's see. Excuse me. It was fine. It was. Excuse me. It was very. Now, no, the excuse me was perfect. Thank you. Yeah. It was a perfect excuse me. And in my mind, I'm like, what a mindful thought. Right? Regardless of who was at fault. Right? That's a sweet, very traditional way of saying, I'm sorry. That's right. My bad or whatever. Excuse me. Right. Then she didn't say anything. Right. And then what did you say? Say it back. That's how you said it. That's how I said that. There's no way that. Say it as if she's walking away. Go. Say it back. Yeah. That's how she that's how he said it. He's right. Yeah. Say it back. When I hold the door for someone they don't say thank you. Bullshit. I go, you're welcome. You're welcome. That's such he would be mad at you on the road. I would be mad at you on the road for that. You don't get to tell me what to do. You specifically, you know, that whatever he does, right? Is a reflection on me. Unless she has no idea you're together because you could go, I don't know that weirdo. Someone goes, this fucking guy go, I know. He's a piece of shit. Listen, I don't have any grievances. I thought that everything was actually perfect. It was good. Meal was good. And okay. So yeah, he didn't invite any strangers, you know, me into dinner. How was do you got up on stage now? The 12 minutes. Oh yeah. How much time do you get six minutes? Six. But I'm going to say this. I'm very good. Really? I thought for a guy that doesn't do stand up and stay and to stay on on stage for six amendments in front of that many people. - A big deal. - Is a big deal. - Which venue is this? - What? - What venue are we watching? - Minneapolis, the Orpheus. - The Orpheus. - We're gonna get 'em on Killtoni now. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm serious, you should go do Killtoni. - Now you did open in which, so I'm just gonna say this. - Can we see? - No, before we even see in Chicago, the live nation-wreck walked up to me and goes, interesting, I go, why? - We opened with Israel. - Okay, yeah. - It's topical. - Yeah, I know. But it was like, - I said that's where I got my hair done. - Yeah. - People love it. - It was cheap. - Yeah. - I have a joke. - It's funny. - Okay. - I have to survive up there, I'm not a comedian. - Yeah, he's trying, he's swinging. - Okay, he has to swing. - He's got to swing. - Thank you. - Do you want to play his Orpheus? - I want to see some of it, yeah, for sure. I mean, we could watch a whole thing. - I do like your black people, though. (audience laughing) - I'm trying to like you too. - Hell yeah. (audience cheering) They're different from the ones in Texas in California, though I noticed. They're not all like Anthony Edwards. (audience laughing) - Anthony Edwards is the ones I expect. They're more like the I am the captain now. (audience laughing) (audience applauding) - What's up? Huge pop. - What's up? - That's awesome. - That's awesome. That's awesome. - That's so good. Can I see you again? - No, hold on. - Wait, let me play that again. - I'm telling you right now. - That's so good. - You guys added, you guys added last. Wait, I swear to god you did. - What the fuck? - You added last. There's no way that was a pop like that. - Play it again. Let me hear it again. (audience laughing) Wait, what do you mean added last? - Dude, there's an added track. There's no way it's got a pop like that. - I was there. See where the darkness is? I'm standing in that darkness. - Well, probably because he's ripping. - Let me see. - Say it again. - Do it again. - Do it again. - They're not all like Anthony Edwards. (audience laughing) - That's a good pop. - Any end warranted is the ones I expect. (audience laughing) (audience laughing) - Dude, you ripped. - Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. - Did you get laughed that loud? - No, no, no, dude. - He never got in a plausible break. - It sounded like-- - He never got in a plausible break. - And profess in the pudding. - I was gonna say, I looked like it. - Did you? - I did it. (clapping) (upbeat music) - Wins! - Oh, the Oxford shirt that I have, that almost went to the Golden Gallo Awards, right? But I still wear it, and I look smooth that night. In fact, I used it, I wore it with some slacks, right? Tucked it in with a belt, and I went and saw the movie obsession. Ooh, a little dress. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Quins is, it's stylish, and people go, "Oh my God, this guy is, you know, me high level." - Well, because Quins, European linen pants and shirts are perfect warm weather upgrades. - Say that again, I love that. - Well, they're European linen pants. - Oh, linen, oh, European. - European leather is not, European linen is nice. You add it to your rotation, and by the way, it starts at just $34. Their teas are soft, easy to wear. I wear them all the time. I do love them very much. Lightweight cotton. Sweaters are perfect for cooler summer nights. - Everything. - Everything. Say it. - Everything at Quins is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. - That's insane. You're gonna get so much quality for a more affordable price, and it's not cheap. I don't like the word cheap. It's not cheap. It's just done affordable, because that's what you deserve, and they go way beyond clothing. They're custom upholstered sofas, ceramic cookware, premium bedding. It's the kind of brand you end up recommending to everyone for literally everything. Quins does it right. - Elevate your summer wardrobe fellows, and ladies, go to quins.com. That's bad friends. For free shipping on your order in a 365 day return. - That's now available in Canada too. Our neighbors to the north. That's quinsquncene.com/badfriends. For free shipping and 365 day returns. - Quins.com/badfriends. - Hello, my ones. - Here's the wild one. - There's the wild one. - Wild one, wild one, wild one, wild one. - Whoa, look at those pants. - Dude, you got a shirt with red soneted. - Yeah. - Sit down. - You can't walk in it. - Home was chic. - Yeah. - Yeah. - We're in the presence of a movie star. - Big movie star. - Him, John, Cena, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. - The star of the new movie, Little Brother, with John Cena's here, him and John share the screen. - I saw the poster. - Proving, well, I watched the movie. - This is it. - I have it on my Netflix. I watched it. - Oh, baby, I love to hear it. - Yeah. - Homework. - You know what? I'm never gonna see it. Okay, weird start. (laughing) - No, no. - I'm gonna start. - I'm gonna see it. I'm gonna see it. - You promise? - Man. - Me and Bobby almost did a comedy central show together. - Yeah, we did. - Back in the good old days. - Oh my God, dude. - What was that called? - I didn't say anything bad. It was called the Bobby Lee Bonanza. - Wow. - Wow. - And he played, you played a sous chef. It was the predecessor to chef. - And what were you? - I was a very racist character. - You played me. - Like a Sambo. - Sambo. - Okay, Bobby. - And like an Al Jolson kind of thing. - Okay. - Yeah. - It was, yeah. - Literally wasn't it. - You were my best friend. (laughing) - All right. You were literally my best friend. - You're still my best friend. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's whatever. There was no Sambo. - It was a bit, you know, it didn't age well. Let me put it that way. - It never got picked up. - Give me one of the lines. - No, one of the lines was, - Yeah, yeah. - You was, you shoe shanballs? - Yeah. - 'Cause my shoes were dirty. (laughing) - Your shoes were dirty. It is, the vents. - No, he was just like a regular guy. - Oh, soups ready, boss. - No, that's not what it was. - And when we shot the pilot, we were having a ball. - It was a good time. - Yeah. - No, he cast Donald Glover instead of me. - It's not. - No, I didn't cast the Donald Glover. - Yeah, but that's smart. - Word around the campfire. - Smart move. - Yeah, yeah. - If we're mad, if you want a good career decision, you're gonna cast Donald Glover. - Donald Glover. - You know, there's a couple of things that you brought that up before in front of me. - Probably I'm trying to give the audience, I understand. - The audience needs context for our friendship. - When you look at me like that, I feel like you're looking at me like to calm down. - No, go ahead. - Okay, I understand. - You're very sweet to me in the beginning. You took me at the dinner at the farmer's market. - Yeah, and we used to go to, you used to have those great parties. - He still has great parties. - Block party. - He's a big party guy. - I ain't making it weird. - I know, but there was a, - I think it's the fucking kind of thing. - I understand that, but there was a 20-year-on-gap between parties. - Wait a minute. You took me to dinner when I was a very young man. - Sweet did you like a king. - A king, right? - Didn't cast me in the show, but that's okay. - Okay, see, there's these little honey. That's what it is with this guy. With this guy, he has, he has, he's like a Korean. You're very Korean. - You have little, yeah, no, you have little, little resentments that build, 'cause this business is hard, and it comes out in weird ways, right? And this is the way it comes out with him, right? - He has another one about the resentment. - Yeah, yeah, holding on to resentment, about how he's perceived this, which is fucking bullshit, that he auditioned for Matt TV. He didn't get it, and he thought that I treated him differently after that he didn't get it. - Is that true? - No. - You got a little Hollywood about it. - Is any of it not true? - I don't know what he's talking about. Let's just say, the texts, the responses, they didn't come back. - Oh brother, he don't text anybody. - No, no, no, no, no, no. There was, there was texts were flowing. I didn't get on season 14 of Matt TV, known as the best season. - Best season of life. - It was the one that, it was the year that Aaron. - So good. - That was the year that it buried the show. - I think he can't, I think he got cast on it. That was the last season, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's God's work, 'cause we'll get your career now. - Yeah. - That's so fuck you. (laughing) - It is true. - Yeah, yeah. - It worked out for the better. - Yeah, fuck you. - Yeah. - He told me crazy stories back of it. - Yeah, you can't say that. - What is it that he told me trying to quit drugs called turkey on the show? - Yes. - And it's weird fucking ooze started. - Yeah, I shit my pants and when I play Connie Chung, yes. - And our spears was going, damn, it smells like it. - Yeah, so that is so funny. It's not funny. - It's very funny. - So that to me, it's like, hey, isn't that funny? I know, it's something happened where I was detoxing off a vikin' in, right? - Oh, you were vikin' in what was your thing? - Yeah, yeah. - That's an opiate hook, right? - Yeah, you don't wanna get it. - Two days before I did Connie Chung, right? - The show, quit called turkey? - Yeah, the show goes, you gotta get off the drugs. - Tape or though? - No, I didn't know anything about it. So on it. - How old were you at the time? - Fuck, I was 32. Okay, shit. I'm mad TV, you get mad TV, but you were, before mad TV, you were in a second season. - You weren't on television before this. - I did commercials. - But like, and I had done, I had done Harlan Kumar. I think he's gonna say Harlan. - So, Harlan Kumar. - So this was big for you. To be on mad TV? - Yeah, it was pretty big. - So the pressure is immense, you're going down to LA, you're getting pills. - Yeah, yeah. - No, and you're having a good time when you told me where I got the, where I got the, where I got the, where I got the line. - No, no, no, no. - I was like a second city guy, right? Who had everything. - He had Vyginin for horses. - Oh, Jesus Christ. - They were like these big blue, they were big blue Vyginin pills. - He had Vyginin and Ivermectin. He had both. - It was something, it was a specific, big blue pill. - See, this is a good story. - Right, that he would, because a lot of the cast members was from Second City. He was giving these big, I would-- - Yeah, those big-- - I spent all my money on these big blue viking on pills. And he, he knew writers and cast members, right? - Oh, they were like-- - He would go to the backstage. - They were like "Stop selling shit to Bobby." - No, no, it was a secret, right? So I would give him like three or four grand. That's why Ari, four grand. - Yeah, that's why Ari should fear beat me up because one time I asked Ari for four grand. 'Cause I was on a mad and I had no money left. - You asked, he beat you up because-- - That's not what the context of that-- - Ari? - Ari? - The real content? Yeah, the real-- - I can imagine his like arms-- - Yeah, yeah, yeah, he beat me up. At the end of the day. - This is that Hong Kong? - No. (laughing) - Do you have any qualms with this Mr. Andre? - No, we've actually gone along. - Yeah, we know, great. (laughing) - There's no qual-- - No qualms. - You've actually gone with each other, have we? - We talked about how much we loved taking this out of you. - Yeah, we really loved that. - Because you seem to always have like a little thing with me. - But wait, maybe it's you. - I don't think it's me. - You think it's him. - Yeah, yeah. - I don't have a thing with anyone else in the comedy community. It's just-- - I get along with everybody. - But we're at that Netflix brunch. - Yeah. - Santita goes, "You talk to everybody." There's people here, not-- - Everybody. - "You talk to everybody." You got something. I go, "Well, there's one guy here. "You know, we're kind of roughly each other." - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I talked to everybody too. On that Netflix song. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, that's what most people say. - I talked to Odin Kirk. I talked to Tom Stewart. I talked to-- - Okay, you can name a few. - Okay, I named a few. - FYI. - Oh, it's very slow. - So, I was very slow. - So Paul Sheer's selling you the pills and then it already-- - Yeah, it wasn't Paul Sheer. - Why does "R-E-Pall"-- - I love you, Paul. - Why did "R-E-Pall"-- - Why did "R-E-Pall" throw a punch at you? - Okay, this is all news. - And also-- - I don't know. - I love you guys. Have me and I guess on your show and all we do, we spend the time talking about Bobby, the whole time, it's like-- - We have to start-- - Oh, just talk about your movie. How was the movie? (laughing) - It's a movie star now, dude. - Yeah, movie star. - He's just got-- (clapping) - I did one movie-- - It's pretty big. Netflix is-- - It's gonna be the top movie on Netflix. - Top movie on Netflix. - 100%. - Yeah. - You think so? - Yeah, I'm flattered by that. - I'm flattered by that. I hope so. - No doubt. - I hope so. - When you did it, when you did the scene at the golf course, naked, you had your cock out, huh? - Yeah, they give you a little-- - Oh, no, the merkin. - They give you a little bag, but it flew off. - I wanted you to be butt naked for that, 'cause I knew-- - I was, I was fun, yeah. - I was fun. - I tried to keep it on, yeah. But the thing, you know, with the water, it slips off. - John, good guy, dude. - Good guy. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's an ace. - He is an ace. - Sweet guy, total pro, like-- - A nice guy. - Yeah, 100% like shows up early, always prepared. - Yeah? - Just like a total pro, like WWE is actually, in my opinion, the greatest acting school you could ever go to. - We've seen it work. - Well, think about it. They have to have a monologue that they got that afternoon on the plane. They have to deliver something out of their mouth. That's five pages long, in front of 40,000 people. - They can improvise. - Yeah, but I mean-- - It's not like, it's not an Aaron Sorkin project where you have to do it word by word. - Yeah, but he said you have to get a larger point. - I'm making a large-- (laughing) - Sure, that's besides the point. - Yeah, I'm just saying, what they have to do, they have to go to Dublin, you know, one night, deliver a monologue that's exposition about the next fight in Des Moines that the audience isn't even connected to. And then another wrestler comes out and like, you know, they do John Wick stunts for like 45 minutes. Then they got to deliver more exposition about it's like, if you could go through that for as many years as he went through it, a movie's like nothing, like an entertaining stuff. - Yeah, it's bullshit. - Yeah, it's like-- - He's like, do it again? That's fine, yeah, you take it again, fuck that. - Another take, not in front of 40,000-- - I mean, that's fine, if you know what's so funny about that, when I watch the Hogan documentary, it showed many reasons why he gained popularity, Hulk Hogan, but like one of them also was his delivery, his character delivery on those pops, whatever they call them, like the promo pops, he was flawless. Like he would miss, and they got it so tight, so good, and then they watched guys, you watched guys, they did outtakes on that, it was wild to watch, 'cause people get defeated, like if they fuck up, they're like, fuck through it again, and they would do it again, and you watch these guys like lose the character, and then they have to take it. It was kind of powerful to watch. So the more people that could stay in it, like what you're saying, that's how they got, it was sort of-- - There's very few guys willing to get that jacked and do that much wrestling and stunt work, and also have to deliver pages and pages of dialogue and monologues, like in an instant-- - And also committing to the character. - And committing to the character. - And the story of-- - Yeah, and in front of 50,000 people, it's impossibly hard, so it's like you only get one of those guys in generations, like Holkogen is like the guy for 10, 20 years, and you get Dwayne Therak-Johnson for another 10, 20 years, then you get John for another 20 years. - And it's like the next, I don't know Cody Rhodes. - Yeah, he seems like the guy. - He's the best, I just did Street Fighter with him, he's the best. - That's the guy that everyone I think has pinned to be the guy. - He's the bad, his dad was Dusty Rhodes, and his brother's-- - Gold Dust. - Yeah, Gold Dust. - Gold Dust. - And, you know, so I just, last year I got to work with John all summer, and then I went to Australia, and did Street Fighter with Cody. It's like I love working with the rest of-- - Where was it? - And I grew up, I grew up with Holkogen, Matrimon, Junkyard Dog, Sheets on my bed. So it's like a total luxury work with John. Tongue of the kid? - Yeah, this was shot in New York. I don't know Tongue of the kid. - This is his family. - I'm sorry, this is New Jersey. - I can't bring up Tongue of the kid. - This is New Jersey? - You don't know Tongue of the kid? - It's before my time. - Oh, okay. - Well, let me tell you something. - You're much older than me. - We're on his land right now. We're on his land. - Do we do a say good, and not acknowledge him, if we-- - Do we do a say good land, and acknowledge him? - Yeah. - We're on Bobby's land. - Okay, I don't feel comfortable this far. - All right. - I feel comfortable. - Why? - At an AAPI panel. - I'm Paul Lee. (laughing) - I'm Paul Lee Amor. - Yeah, yeah. - I haven't told my wife, but I'm Paul Lee Amor. - It's Thomas still alive. - I got to hope so. - Yeah, look at him. - A lot of you guys are not alive. It's like, they're big guys. They did a lot of crazy steroids and drugs. - Yes, he's alive. - He's a life. - Tongue, big fan. - Big fan. - Sam Fatou. - He doesn't. - Going to Topgolf tonight. - Why? - I'm Korean. - Yeah. - Oh, smart. - I'm fully getting plastic surgery. You become Korean. - Yeah. - I can't wait. - See, most of us are turning Chinese. That's the new trend. I'm turning Chinese. - Yeah, I mean, yeah. - What were you gonna say, am I what? - Were you serious when you said you texted me, you wanna go on tour together? - Yeah, that's fucking serious. - Do it. - I love you, man. You're fucking funny. - I don't do a show. - You gave me one of the best pieces of advice one time. You said, make them laugh before your first joke on your walk to the stage. You gave me that advice very young and I was like, that's the fucking best. Because it shakes off the jitters so that that first like taking the mic out of the stand and all that shit isn't awkward. So I always, I'll sneak up behind the audience and do a bunch of fucking goofiest Andy Kaufman shits. - Yeah. - Yeah, I love you, man. - It's smart because then once you do start talking, they don't laugh, so I think that's the very good one. - Well, here's another note. - I know, so I wanna steal your material. - Yeah, yeah. - On tour. - Yeah, do it. - I'll do yours. - Honestly. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - We should do. - I'm Halloween. - I'm Halloween. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I gave you full permission to do the brown things. I don't know, what am I? - Yeah, here's another note that I have. - Is there's a difference between writing funny and being funny. Do you understand what I mean? - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. - So a lot of new comics will just memorize whatever they will. - He's like, hey girl. - Hey girl. - Hi. - Hi, hi, right. - Yeah. - Shut the fuck up, I'm not gay. - Some people are funny. - Some people are right. (laughing) - Okay, dude. - Spill the head to you, girl. - Tell us, go off, queen. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I really want your belly back. - No. - I know you're trying to do the cool male thing. You're probably doing peptides. - He's getting jacked. - Don't, please don't. - Remember, I'll show you. - So with that pop belly, when you really had the dad bod. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Every day, before you told a joke, I was laughing. - Okay. - 'Cause you looked, eat, eat, eat. - You looked like human comedy. (laughing) - Why are, and this bad friend's circular thing, why is it a cartoon of you with a Chicano community leader? (laughing) - That's Paul Rodriguez. - Yeah. - That's a young boy. - Yeah, I replaced Paul, you didn't know that? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Got it, got it, got it, got it, got it. - Bad friends was really with him and Paul. - Yeah, yeah. - The original. - Yeah, I look like like a Cheech Marin. - You do. - Like, yeah. - Yeah. - And we're gonna podcast it. - But why do I look like Salvador Dali in this one? (laughing) - You have a Dali style? - You think I have a Dali style? - I have a very Dali bite. - Hey, I like when you guys popped up unhappy, you'll more than me. - Oh, that's cool. You know what? I'll be honest with you. - Huge for us. - As a comic, I have to say. - It was awesome. I think you're very funny. You're just, you have my- - I love you. - No, no, you have my kind of energy. - I don't know. - I think we're similar. The other day, like- - We'll never come by the house anymore. - Behind me, what does- - I see those come by the house. - And see you in years. - And you came up and pray behind me, took my shirt, wrapped over in my head, you know what I mean? And I didn't see you in years, right? That's my kind of- energy. I know. But you got very shy. What? You got shy. I got shy. Yeah. Yeah. Because I'm more corporate. I'm more corporate and I watch what I say. Okay. So corporate big corporate fence. I'm corporate. Yeah. I've never done a corporate gig. I've never done one. I've never once asked been asked. Yeah. When I hear comics like I had to do a corporate gig once and yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, how? How did that happen? Yeah. Yeah. Not once. Not me either. Never. I mean, I would why wouldn't what single corporation look at us and ask us this? Here's another reason. We're called Shaloo. A compliment is you've always even as a youngster, right? He's always been you've always been fashionable. You think so? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I've always thought to myself Eric Andre is fashionable. Have you ever said it? I never said it to you, but I always felt it like you're cool. Thanks man. Yeah. Dress wise. Yeah. Yeah. You want me to leave you too? I couldn't care less. Yeah. He doesn't care. No, no, no, no, no, no. We were going to do a movie together. Yeah. Wow. What happened? We're going to do something together. We're going to do something together one day. We were going to do a movie. Yeah. Yeah. What happened? We went by the wayside. You got you got a little sunburt. I did. Yeah. Today. Yeah. Really? Is it my face? You got a little fuck. I got a little color. You got golf? No, it's a little. No, it golfed it. No. You got to do SPF did you going to kill yourself? I'm doing SPF, bud. Yeah. I'm doing it every time. I'm not joking. Look. Blue lizard. Love got blue lizard. I thought I hope I hope you're getting moles checked and all that stuff. I'm getting a checked. I got I already got to my golf. I know you're always a golfing and you're not you're careless. Blue lizard. You can look up whatever you want. Is that a good talk? I want to use it. Is that a good love blue lizard? Okay. Good talk. Okay. You take it into weird directions. I like blue lizard. Do you use facial creams at night? No. No. Like when you when I was in Korea. Yeah. All my platonic galf pals were like going every store and buy me every lotion. Yeah. And I came back it looked like I was like smuggling lotions into. Yeah. You have the best shit. And and what? There's a beautiful people. There's a new Korean. What do you think? I don't know where it is. That's why there's a new Korean store that just opened for those sage products, right? It was like a two mile line. Yeah. Yeah. And they're using like stale. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You look at a new Korean two mile. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is a real this is a real pigeon. You're gonna think I'm joking. Yeah. And I don't know how good is your Korean. It's called olive young. That's what it's called olive young. Can you speak? Why don't we pitch a super duper low budget wacky comedy show to Korean television. And speaking only in Korean. Yeah. I can be the I can play the dough American and you give me like literally you probably know more Korean than I do. That's probably that's how little I know. I love it. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I know how to do. Set net. That's what that's all I can count to. No. He can. That's four. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can say good. I can say a certain thing. Hakyo is a school. I don't know. Rawlings. And I'm not making this up. No. I know. And fluent Korean. And I know he's done my part. He knows more than I do. And don't hate me. It's mind boy. He hates you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Since when? Why? He just has a he has a little thing with me. You told me no comedians hate you at the Netflix comedy brunch. He wasn't there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't know what you asked. Don't know. So anyway, all of young is a mile long. I want to go in there. Let's go. Yeah. Let's go. Where is it? Where is all of young? Pasadena. Pasadena. So there's a there's a there's a long line. Can you call and say I'm Bobby Lee and I'm like temporarily closed. All right. There's it. You can call and say I'm Bobby Lee and look at you to the front. What? Yeah. They'll get you in there, Bob. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, click on the is it closed? Is that true? Now essentially city. You know, I thought that was your mom the whole time that really took me out. This is why I don't like this chair that much because I can't. First of all, come on. No, no, we have to. That's crazy. We have to for the sake of that's for the sake of the show. Jack Blacks out there. Jack Black. Those chairs have been saddened by legends. Merle Haggard. Merle Haggard. Mort Saul. Mort Saul. Yeah. Sheki Green. That's not true. All of them. All. Yeah. Mort Saul. Mort Saul. There's no red skeleton skeleton. Red skeleton. Red skeleton. Yeah. Flip Wilson. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. We've had Black. Did you do this cat skills? We've had Blacks. We've had something. Yeah. From the 60s. Have you had Blacks? Yeah. Couple. Do the Blacks go crazy when they're in here? Blacks love this show. We love it. They love the Blacks. Just the Blacks love this show. Baby. Yeah. Your lab is demonic. I love hog. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So can you just tell us them about the movie? Okay. So the movie. I play. I play um seen his little brother. Okay. So he like did like a, uh, you know, uh, uh, genetic testing. No. No, no, no. It's not. It's not. Um, what is that junior twins? 23 and me. It was like, I know. Okay. Not biological. So he like 30 years ago when he was in high school and I was 10, he did like a program. The big brother. Oh, I like it. He like a, uh, you know, adopted me for a few weekends. And it was, he just did it for like, it looked good on his resume for college. Right. But for me, you know, this abandoned live altering, you know, 10 year old. It was live altering. Yeah. Then I get this horrible car accident. He gets a call from the hospital, like, oh, your brother's in the hospital. He has a biological brother. So he's like, shit, so he runs to the hospital with his wife. He opens a curtain and it's me. He hasn't seen me since I was 10. Yeah. So it's just me. I'm all fucked up. I'm in the medical halo. I'm like, uh, blood coming on my mouth. Yeah. And they're like, who the fuck is this? And then like, Holy shit. I think that's my little brother from the, the program that we did. But I haven't seen this guy in 30 years. I only hung out with him for a few weekends when we were kids. Yeah. And then I slowly, it's like, what about Bob meets the movie parasite? I slowly, like, like, the wife kind of starts, you know, she's enchanted by me. Right. Kids love me. His brother loves me. Everyone, I work loves me. He's trying to be a real estate agent on this reality TV show. And he almost gets like kicked off the show, but they love me so much. They want not only him back, but they want it. So I like drive them nuts. That's it. I don't want people to watch it. So that's, you know, I mean, that's a great premise. This movie is on Netflix. Go watch a little brother. So Eric is on the very first episode of the bad game show. Yes. We're episode number one. I'm very excited. It was number one. All right. We got to, we got to go. Um, can you look in the camera and say thank you for being of that friend. Yeah, please. Thank you for being a bad friend. Yes.