Episode 96: Does My Teen Who Stutters Need Therapy?

Hi and welcome to another episode of Stuttering, Demystified and Beyond. I am your host, Laurie Malmitsky, Stuttering Specialist, person who used to stutter very severely. Definitely still a person who stutters mom, stuttering specialist and ADHD coach. And today I want to talk about a very important topic. Does my teenager need stuttering therapy? This is really important because I struggled very much as a teen who stuttered. And I work with a lot of teenagers. So I really understand what they're growing through, what they went through. And many parents says, "My youthing stutters, I don't really hear it that much. Do they really need therapy." Stuttering can be unpredictable. Some days, your teen can sound very fluent. Other days, they can be hiding, but they're saying. And they can be really struggling inside. And only using the words they know, like I used to do all the time. There were days when I could barely stutter because I was just trying to do this like salad mix in my mind of what words would be easier. And that hurt me language wise because I wasn't using my full vocabulary. It made me feel like I wasn't as smart as anybody else. And some days, they can just avoid talking. They can be hiding in their room. There were times when I used to hide in my room. I mean, for that, and of course, being a teenager for other things. So as a speech pathologist who did stutter severely, I do understand the confusion, the fear, the frustration, both from their side, and I understand from the parent side because I do have two adult children. And we all know how much we worry about our children. So I hope this kind of helps you identify some of the points to look for and to not wait. And many times you'll hear a teen avoid ordering at a restaurant. I was great at like, I would go to the bathroom when the waitress would come and tell my parents what I had to order. I would use short answers. And many of the people when I start working them are using a lot of, I don't know. And I'm not sure. And refusing to make a phone call, refusing to make an appointment for a haircut, switching words constantly to avoid blocking. And the block is when you get very stuck at the beginning of a word. And you can't get the word out, staying silent in class, hiding in the back of a room. Avoid itself is really a hard one because it starts to affect you emotionally. And it doesn't fix it. It just grows the shame. As they get older, maybe picking a field which they think does not require talking. Like I thought accounting when I first started did not require talking, but it absolutely did. Maybe not going out with friends as much, maybe hiding and maybe not ordering the foods that they want. Maybe they're not participating that much in school. These things are really important. And from someone who studied, I can tell you that communication mattered to me so much more than academics. It was really important to me that I could speak. And when I was younger, there was not that much help available for stuttering. And as time went on, probably when I turned 17ish, my parents were able to really find someone who specialized in stuttering. And that to me was a game changer. I can't stress that enough. I mean, I did prioritize it. I did stay home in practice. It took a long time because I was very used to hiding. I was very used to not saying that much. So I really had to work a lot on this and it started to kind of affect my social skills as well because I wasn't used to saying what I wanted. And I remember being around 22 in college and a friend of mine invited her to her parents house for a holiday. And they started to ask me questions. And I realized like for me to tell a story or it was just so hard for me to formulate my words because it wasn't something I was used to doing. So if you're noticing all these, and I know college students are very busy, but I'm sorry, and teenagers, but without communication, it limits your ability to socialize, meet people, to feel confident, to get jobs, to be promoted, to call a friend on the phone, to order what you want, to call up a doctor. So it's worth spending some time. And we actually offer I developed the talk it up, stuttering program, which is based on a lot of techniques that I developed and learned on my own. And it can be done online twice a week from somewhere between six to eight weeks. I highly recommend it. I have seen so many people who have transformed from being stuck to actually feeling really good about themselves. So if you are a parent, a teen who is a college student who is a college student, please reach out. Increasing fluency for me has enabled me to have much more freedom. And going all the way back to making friends to now, like running my business and being a college professor, which I never thought I could do, but I felt I felt alone. And I don't want your child or you to feel alone because the feeling of fluency is amazing to those of us who were not given that in life. And to me, it was like almost as important as like doing gymnastics or sports or it's just to me a very important thing. So if I can help you, please reach out. There's so much help out there. We are trying to do a team, a group of teens to try and get them into a program that's offered for a more reasonable price. Of course, the hardest time with teens and college students is finding availability that they all have. So if any of this resonates with me with you, my website is www.allislandspeech.com. I can't stress to you that I used to stutter severely. Your voice matters, their voice matters, and we have to prioritize communication and social skills, especially in a world where the job market is much higher and people seem to be under much more stress. And I work on a lot of coaching and encouragement also. So I hope some of these things help and have a great day.