[Music] Hello, hello, hello! It's over the main, with me James. And me, Andy. What a week it's been for the campaign for North Africa. It's been quite the, quite the eventful little movement phase. We've had an eventful time, and outside of our play, the game itself, in the cultural zeitgeist, or rather the e-commerce zeitgeist, because for some reason, five copies of the game have went up on eBay this week. Yeah, if anything about us has made you want to play the game and not driven you away, it seems like now's a good time, swoop in and get a copy. And don't question the fact that we're selling all five, and they've been marked up to five grand a piece. That's actually what it's worth. It's just simple supply and demand at that point. Yeah, we bought up all the copies, we're going to sell all the copies. We're generous like that. It's actually quite a kind thing to do. [Laughter] We're providing for the masses, we're like a farmer. Well, you know what they say, there's nothing more noble than the middle man. Exactly, that's why they call them middlemen. Because the middle is the most important thing. The middle, you think about it, right now we're in the middle. We're in the middle of the gameplay. We did the start, that was the very first 10 seconds of the podcast. And the last 10 seconds of the podcast will be the end. Right now, you are in the throes of it, need deep, warding through, wading through, right in the middle. This is it. This is the place to be. I can't think of a more important part of history you could be experiencing right now. You're all part of it. Andy, me, all of Australia for some reason. Australia loves this. They eat this shit up. We're digging Australia. Relative to our audience. And Chicago. The windy city. Yeah. Blown a gale there. Who's that? That's a, I think, a Felicia joke. Not really sure why I was going with that. So let's move on. So it was my movement. Yes, we've continued our playthrough of the campaign for North Africa. We do it all the time. Every single week of our lives. And you've moved. You've moved me, Andy, is what you've done. Not in a good way. Moving someone, I think, always has this nice connotation of, oh, I was very moved. I'm, I'm angry at you. It's a type of movement. You've moved from calm to angry, which. Yeah, that's fine. I'm my man as a result of your actions have moved from right to left. Yes. So I guess we'll hedge from south to north. Yeah, which is what we did in the game because your movement kicked off. You decided to choose war instead of peace against my wishes. I did. I woke up and chose violence. So I. What was your work, did it like? All right, actually. Oh, you saved it to me, then. Yeah. What a nice guy. Oh, I'm, I'm an absolute trio. An absolute what? Treat. How do you say "tree"? It was an analogy I just did not understand. Silent. You slurred. Well. But yes, the four Indians have attacked your big gun guys, the body of Garrison. The body of Garrison are just a big cluster of guns with a few men. It's not going to feel great for them, I'm imagining. Given the fact that there are now fewer men, no, it doesn't feel great. Yes, so the fourth did. Was it 40% casualties? 40% casualties is a lot to lose from one group. Yes, I think it was our biggest combat differential or score, yeah. Plus 17. Yes. So your morale was minus free. Yeah, that's about one. Plus free, even worse, nice six right there. Some discrepancy and division versus not division gave me two. Yep. And that I jammed nine guys, well nine points in. Yep, you stuck nine guys, burgers and frines right into my brains. I don't know what I'm doing with the rhyme here, but what you did is I guess tantamount overkill. The 17 that you hit is the furthest column on the closest salt result table. Yes. It's a 17 plus plus set. That's right. So I was just still within the realm of actual results before just became abstracted into and then everything else is this bad. So it was as bad as it can get. You could have had plus 50 and it's the same result. That would have been, I guess, the biggest overkill ever. It was already overkill, but 50 feels unnecessary. Well done friend. You've hit peak performance feels good, which shouldn't flow. It feels like it's, well, if this is flow state, it wasn't very effective because what you did do is yes, I guess you took off 40% and you move them one hex. Yeah, that's not much. 50% is good. Yeah, but now even if you take 40% off again, that's only 40% of 60%. I guess. And so on and so forth. Yeah, it's the going half the distance arrow thing. Yeah, I'm going to live forever. Like that Oasis song. Wonder wall. We're so easy to see what's happening there, isn't it? Yeah, we're going to do it in the podcast. We think the same. Yeah, we've mind linked too far. We need someone else. We're going to start speaking in unison like the monster from that episode of Doctor Who midnight. That would be cool. That's a scary episode. Yeah. As episodes of Doctor Who go anyway. Yeah. You don't got many scary episodes of Doctor Who. I remember being really freaked out by the, are you my mummy? Gas mask one. Maternal issues much. No, it was the gas mask going into the face. It wasn't them saying, are you my mummy? It was the like body horror, endless body horror. I guess that's fair. But it's all computer generated, you know, it's not real. Oh, that's fine, man. There we go. For me, I could go back and tell my younger self this isn't real. You've lived your whole life. It's just a documentary. You lived your whole life thinking Doctor Who is a documentary. That's what the doctor stands for. Doctor, men. Doctor. Doctor. The making of Doctor Who. I feel like I'm developing documentary. It's just real. That was the result for the poor guys at body. 40% loss and one hex retreat. Not out body. They are the body of gas. Yeah, pushed you. Yeah, that's an important distinction to where, well, my primary goal. Yeah, that's still the south of the, south of the border. They are down past the escarpment. Yes. And they were around, not too far from the supply dump. That was a point of contention during the Maddalena fight a while ago now, months ago. So they've been pushed back west by one hex, which was all right. The next fight that we had was a little further north. Only a hex or two though. Yes, the seventh continued to the barrage against the melee. Right. These guys just won't quit. They've taken a lot of punishment. I had them on the ropes at one point. I think if I'd pushed hard enough, I could have really done some damage to the seventh. Oh, you could have, yeah. I could have picked those guys off. And now that they're doing bad stuff again, I feel bad stuff, of course, in this context, being fighting fascist Italian forces. The rotters. What a bunch of gets. Heroes in history. But for me, real thorn in my sight. A real thorn in my parrho Italian side. Parrho Italian. So they pushed, they hit, they hit hard. 30% loss. Yes, not happy with that. But they did take a five percent. Yes, I managed to hit back. It was the Millettie division that way up against the Millettie division. A nice combination of two guns, one armor, and I believe it was six infantry. That's not the makeup that they have anymore. They have taken losses. I will let you know now, Andy. It's not a division that has armor anymore. Oh, interesting. Yeah, I thought if I'm going to eat up some of the points I need to since they were overrun, it was a 13 on that table. That's still into overrun by two integers. Yes. So I thought, well, that means we'll get rid of the armor. What does the armor do? Part from breakdown. If that's all it's doing, it's not defending because I don't have ammo to put in it. Yeah, it is also a good one to get rid of because they have higher. Higher defense. Higher stats. So you can get rid of less. Yeah, they swallow up a lot. And I'd rather have that and have more infantry because it just, you can arm infantry easier. Also, like, you get rid of five toe points of infantry instead of armor. And then you get unlucky on a breakdown and you just lose the five tanks anyway. Yeah. So it makes sense to get rid of them a lot of the time. Yeah, I think I just want to lose my guys fair enough. They're important to me in history, deplorable.
For me, real special, real close to my heart. You like the Millady division, I've been a- The Millady division on real stuff, I've been a- Yeah, I've been a- You know, I've been a- Well, this does mark the Millady division's cohesion dropping. Woohoo! 'Cause they had a plus for a little while, and it's now just starting to really crash. Oh, good. Which, you know, I'm sad to see it. Love those guys, love those Millady. We should do a history segment on them, I bet they're absolutely fucking evil. Yeah, there's probably some nasty stuff. They're named after a guy called Millady, who I don't know much about. Well, after that film where he's got the Millady, and he goes, "Millady. " Oh, which, okay. Yeah, it took me a while. I thought we're on the same wavelength, man. So did I. But I was horribly proven wrong when you decided to attack my guys. I would never attack my guys. I just starved them through neglect. It's not a great look for you, is it? Well, I'm just, it's as far in characters I'm willing to get. Okay, that's, I guess it's good. I needed. Not so many as far as you want to go. Got a draw aligned in the sound somewhere. Yeah. You don't see many fro. You see neo-nazis, but you don't see many frobach-like. Italian. like nowadays. Yeah, I guess that not makes sense. Yeah, they didn't have a. Don't want to say, "As good a run." No, no, they didn't. You're right with that. It wasn't as good a run. Yeah, good's the wrong word, though. Don't use the word "good" in this context. That seems sensible, actually. I'll avoid it from now on. And to keep with that phrase, we had another fight, and it wasn't good for me. Yes, this was up on the coast. This was a detachment from the trivoli regiment, the tanks that I have. These guys got broken off a little while ago when you pinned part of them, and the rest of them ran off. And these guys have taken a leaf out of that book, and they too have ran off after being barraged from the seas. Yeah, so I didn't realise quite that this wasn't a. As full a threat, I guess you'd say. As full a threat, it was one group of tanks. Yeah, so they got bombed by 20 actual points, which is another et cetera. Fully enough, the barrage. 17 plus as well. 17 plus. 17 plus is the. I guess it's also kind of, I guess, the cutoff of Leo DiCaprio's dating. Not quite. Yeah, actually I realise what I've implied there. You just accused him. Leo DiCaprio, if you're listening, would look to have you on. You and I, I guess, any celebrity. I'm not having him on. Yeah, the celebrity on the couch would. I think they'd get on. Maybe. They've worked together. Probably. No, they have. Oh, okay. I know the film that they worked together. I can't picture it. Yeah, it's not one of the best ones. But Leo DiCaprio aside, that 17 plus did some real damage. Well, it pinned the only thing there, which meant you just retreated. Yeah, I got pushed back, because I couldn't do anything, which means I get to have a, a, a fun little free retreat of three hexes, which is not free because it costs cohesion, as if I lost 30% of my forces. Yeah, it costs free cohesion points and. Dignity. Yes. And giving up ground. However, without being the last part of that combo, it does leave me in a position that I am a little bit comfortable in, which is having a rock in the road. Because that position that they've been forced to retreat to is not a very good one for you. You mentioned this after we finished playing, that because they're now in that spot, it would have made more sense to just loop around them. Yes, it is. They are now a blockage again. It would have swallowed up more CP, but for much bigger result. And also, those guys aren't doing anything. If they got behind you, what are they going to do? Flank you. They're going to run at you and then surrender. Yeah, I guess it's sort of a good play, putting just the one thing down, because I say I have no idea what's in there. I guess, yeah, I didn't put it down so much as it had it ripped apart by a previous pin that you pulled out. Oh, yes, they were. Yes, I remember now where they splurged. Yeah, you pinned them further along that road. That's when I met you on map D. That was City Barani. That was. I think that was actually further east than City Barani. You know when you were right on the first. Because for me trying to say City Barani for the wind condition, I think it was around then. Yeah, I think that actually already broke off by then, you know. Maybe, I don't know. I'll listen back to every episode of the podcast and find out. Do they have trucks? They. These guys doing up trucks. Should they shouldn't have been able to move that? They're tanks. They need water and fuel. Do they? Vehicles need water and. That's not a. That's not a room as they got a call. Yes, you need water and fuel to move. See, I've been taking that off with the others. Why have they not. Oh! Is it because no trucks are unlimited resources? No, that's because they've always had stuff around them to use apart from now. They had water where they'd been previously. Because they'd been in villages and burs. So they'd moved from a place with water to a place without. So now they can't move. Now they can't move. Yes. They are stuck where they are. They really are rocking the road. Yes, they've just buried the tank. Tinned into a turret. Oh, Christ. I was so scared that I thought I'd absolutely fuck that movement, but no. They have been in villages. Yes. Because they were at City Barani. And they've been in the airfield as well. Yeah, and they were in the airfields when I moved them. No, they were next to the airfield in what do you call it? There's a village there. City book. Book? Yeah, BUQ I think it is. Yeah. So they've been around water. They had wells to draw from. They have fuel. They have fuel as well. Yeah, they'll just have fuel in the air. In that tank. Yeah, they've got the full capacity. They haven't moved that much. No, they've only moved when they've been scared. All right, cool. Cool. I was scared there. Unmoved. Yeah. Moved in the bad way still. And scared in the bad way. Not like a nice thrill, like a roller coaster. Which I actually think is a bad thrill. Why would you do that? What a waste of you. What a bad day. Do you know how I roll a coaster? Why would I like roller coasters? Describe one thing that's good about roller coasters without getting esoteric. Honestly, I'm not a huge roller coaster fan. It just seems like you would be. Why? I don't know. That feels like an insult. And I really can't pinpoint what it is. But that makes me feel like I'm some sort of petty man. That's a lot of baggage you have of roller coasters that's leaking into this, I think. I think I've got a lot of baggage apart from roller coasters. Oh, okay. I think roller coasters have just become the lens through which we can view it. Interesting. It is not interesting at all. And I guess I'll stop because I was going to continue. That rock in the road is going to be perfect to try and keep you away from my big cluster of guys. But if you get past it, that's fine because that big cluster of guys are there to fuck you up. Yes. I'm very happy that you're starting to creep up towards them because your supplies will start to dwindle. Your CPA has got to be taken some hits at this point. I mean, yeah, they're so stopping where they are most of them. Some of them have some CPA that might do some stuff, but yeah. And when we pick up the game next time, we've got two more fights because you've advanced your man once again for those first two fights for around two. Yes, they've pursued their targets. Yes, the quarries have been made and you are going for the Bardier Garrison and the Millettie Division once again. Indeed, I am. And those guys have taken some licks. So it's not going to be a fight I'll win. I know that definitively. But what I am interested to see is how long they can keep you where you are. Do I sacrifice the Millettie Division and the Bardier Garrison to keep you wedged in place? I just keep doing the 10% on the. Because you can't hold out forever. Why do I don't understand where that for what comes from? Because if you continue to sit there, I can just start snaking my guys around. Oh, okay, I see. Yeah, I've got like two Black Shared Divisions right next to those guys. So if I keep you there and burn through your CPA and then I just bring two divisions into the fight, that means you're coming in with dog shit CPA. Yeah, the 7th one used 7 CPA at the minute, so they're good. Yeah, that'll do it more. I mean, they're going to another fight. Yeah, I'll do them on 12th. And they barrage as well, didn't they? Some of them. Yeah, so that's going to be another hit for some of the guns. It's all five. Five for the. It's five for. Four. four if you barrage and five if you close the assault. Yeah, also they would commit it to the assault. The guns. Just the barrage. Yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. All right, I'll have to do some work then to actually try and whittle these guys down a bit. You've also used CPA in getting barrage and moving with the false movement. Oh, those guys are fucked. Those guys have got bad CPA because they're getting burned through, but they aren't going to be the ones who retaliate. Okay, yeah. The black shirts have. actual capability. They have munitions, they have men. The Milleti are just a sort of roadblock. They're sandbags made of men. I mean, they'll be an interesting manbag stage. Yeah, I mean, what does turn ends, which will probably be next time we play? Yeah, I guess with a bit of trick maybe. Yeah, because we've got your movement. I don't know how much you're doing, but that could be a big chunk. I think it depends on how these conflicts wrap up. So the game session fairly cut in lean. But the thing I can't help but think is, yes, that went bad for me, but what else was I expecting? What a bad situation to put myself into and expect any different result? Yeah, it wasn't like a. I wasn't surprised. And if I was, I'm stupid. Are you surprised? No, I mean, it completely tracks because I've got my guys in a situation where I've used them as human shields and then they've been attacked, pushed back and gravely wounded. Yes. So it's one of those things where I put them in that position and I was like, right, now he's going to have to grind his way through them all. Yeah. And now I'm all of a sudden sad when you're grinding your way through all of my men and they are dying. I think it's knowing that there isn't a way to fix this. It's over. Some of these guys are just going to be completely useless in a few turns, well not a few turns, a few up stages, a few real weeks. Yes. And I won't be able to use some of these guys anymore. I will see the end of a division or two in the next month. Probably. Yeah. I'd be shocked if the Millettie make it through, unfortunately. Yeah. But also it's like at a certain point, the hammering out the last 10 to 20 percent, it's probably not worth it. Like it'll be interesting to try and work out that sweet spot where it's like, I've damaged it enough. I don't need to worry about it. Kind of like the tanks today. Like if you just moved around them, they'd, I mean, we found out again water wise that actually you have to move from checkpoint to checkpoint, but aside from that, their combat capability against the division is null and void. Well, tanks alone are just null and void because of combined arms. Yeah. They'd be showing up and be a zero. So the differential is going to be bad from go. Yeah. The division size differential is going to be crazy bad. So if I just roll them up to you, it's to sacrifice them for no gain. Yes, it's a surrender play. What I'd have to do with them, if I wanted to do anything, is zip them east along your road and have them surrender at Alexandria. They just let them free me some of the trees. We know where he's going. What's the Saharan attachment on the boat just holding the door down? Wait, wait, there's one more. We've got some tanks for you as well. We are traders now. I wouldn't put it past bad guys in history to be traders. No, there's a lot of traders for history. We know for any certainty that Mussolini killed his own, man. Yes, Balbo. Yeah. I mean, yeah, they say it was an accident. I do like that you're now a believer in such a niche conspiracy. Mussolini killed Balbo. It's fact. Oh, Balbo's playing just did that. I'm speaking of accident. I saved this little anecdote for you for the podcast. On my way here, I popped into the shop near yours, the bigger one near Subway, you know the one. I went in and I watched a dog void its bowels in the middle of the aisle. They let it in. It was a service dog. No, no, just a dog. It didn't have a jacket. It wasn't wearing clothes, so I presume it wasn't a service dog. Dogs only get clothes if their owners are rich or they have a job. Yeah. And this owner was not rich. I'm going out and I'm here. One dog, clove rich. Yeah, definitely not dog rich. And also I just think not conventionally rich. And it's one of the few occasions I've seen a dog in a super market. And surprisingly it proved exactly why because it was everywhere. It was the Easter egg aisle. I guess that's a very seasonal aisle. But it's the use of the rest. They do. And I guess regardless, whichever way you could it, there's food in that aisle. I guess it's better than like the fruit and veg aisle or like the fish counter. I guess it's not food out of rappers that's going to get dog particles on. I was just thinking the particles. That's the bad part, isn't it? So when the particles get on it, that's when you know it's bad. Thankfully, I don't think anything got parted. And the stuff I was buying out was buying liquids. And it was in a few aisles over. I just go down the, because that's the aisle you go into as soon as you walk in, which means there's going to be a smell lingering there for the rest of the evening. Dare I say a week? Because that is a pungent. It was a mess. I don't know if the dog like saw all the chocolate that Easter eggs and was like, oh shit. And like it triggered some natural response. It will naturally freak out. That's actually not the dog fault. That's on the own. Depending on some dogs, chocolate is toxic just in the vicinity. And they'll start to evacuate in their body. The dog was trying to astraly project. So I'm glad I got out of that quick because that smell. Oh man. I feel like I've been through the walls. Well, that's a charming anecdote you've hit us with. I just thought I'd let you know. I saved that one for you. Now I wonder maybe I should have saved a different anecdote. I don't have many anecdotes this week. But I know why we can get some. And usually at this point, I'd say let's go to the mailbag. But we've done something a bit different. Instead of the mailbag, we've branched out a little. We've decided to diversify the wall of the made portfolio. It's still the mailbag, but not as we know it Jim. That would have worked better if you said it. We should script this from now on. I guess if we let's put more work into this. Let's put more admin on top of the admin. We a couple of weeks ago put up a post on our Instagram saying if anyone wants to hop on board a call with us for an audio version of the mailbag, then let us know. And you folks did. It's something that we thought we'd give a go at. And it went tremendously well. Yeah, really good. Sure. We had a few submissions. And the one we went with was one of our long-time listeners, Hewitt, who's been an emailer and our very emailer from back in the old days. One of our first emailers actually. The wayway old back. The wayway old back. The way old back times. And he's still listening now. What a devout man. So he hopped on a call with us. And for the mailbag, we're going to hop into that call. We're going to take you there with us through the power of technology. It's almost as if you were all there. Welcome to the wall of the made very first audio mailbag with me James. Me Andy. And me. Me Hewitt. Hewitt's also here. Hi guys. And we're all here with an absolutely terrible audio delay. And we've spent a good 25 minutes trying to figure out how teams works. I've shilled out for teams premium. And I'm going to get build 85 pounds annually because I don't know how to cancel subscriptions or neglect to. I'm not known for being organized. But we're here. We're doing it. We are. We're advancing more with the may. We went from an idea to a podcast to I guess it's always audio. So that doesn't really track any further. We're staying in the exact same format. But there is another person. Hewitt here. And hewitt has been a long time emailer, fired off some grand questions in the past. And is here with I believe some more questions. Whether or not the game related is to be seen. So hewitt, you may take the stage. Well, thank you guys for having me on. And I'm so grateful to be a part of the podcast that's brought me so much joy over the last year of listening. So it's brought us nothing but torment. I'm really glad that it's had a positive impact somewhere in the world. Thanks for listening. It brought me lots of laughs and good times. But I had some, I brought up some questions kind of briefly before, earlier this week, about the game that I thought I would shoot over. And then I had some other stuff that I thought we could talk about too. But the first question I have for you guys. And it stems into a question about the game. Have you ever seen or did you grow up watching Thomas the Train? Yes. So that, this feels like a scripted question. Yes, I was clinically obsessed with Thomas the Tank. It's something I can rut them all off. James, you know, he's vain, but lots of fun. That's the tagline. I choose to adapt that in my daily life. You've got Gordon, Edward, Henry, Henry, of course, gets locked away in the tunnel because he doesn't want to.
ruin his paint job. Fuck controller doesn't like that. Percy gets uncovered from a garb of sorts, like a top. In short, yeah, it's an incredible piece of media. My IT also has some history with it, but it's on the other end of it. I don't know if I've told this story on the podcast before, but there's an episode where some of the trains go on strike so Thomas and his friends deliver everything. And my mum walked in when I was about five to my dad going, and Thomas and his friends here are what you call scabs. And we don't like scabs who cross the pick and line. And she's just going too early for this. So, basically with it for both of us. That's funny. The reason I bring it up was so apparently there's a new game that's on Steam. That's like an open world time as the train game. And I watched it growing up a little bit. There was another version called Chuggington that was on, I think it was on Disney, that I watched with my younger brother as well. But there's this video game. And for whatever reason, again, I don't really interact with it, but it's been all over my social media and it's been all over. So I don't know if you guys have seen that game. Apparently it's really popular and it's very good. Well, Chuggington, I am aware of. It is a heinous ripoff of Thomas the Tank Engine. And I'm not angry that it exists, but if it did exist, I'd be a lot calmer and my cortisol levels would drop significantly. I can't do anything about that except I guess come to think of it actually get angry. But so the game itself, what's so popular about this game? Is it just a Thomas the Tank Simulator? Basically, again, I don't really know. I've seen some gameplay of it. And I mean, it looks like a good game. It's kind of like there's missions you go on and people are also trying to test the limits of the game and see how fast the engines can go and stuff. But again, I don't know why it got so popular, why it was recommended to me in the first place, but it's looked like a cool game. It sounds a lot like whatever algorithm you manage to get us through is probably the same thing that's recommending you at Thomas the Tank Simulation game. It feels like the same area of niche and pointless, but maybe a fun time if you're bored. So I'm glad that it's, I'm glad Thomas the tank is still in the cultural zeitgeist because that is golden television. I'm not a fan of the animated ones that they've done. I think they should have stuck with models. And it's sort of like if you animated Thunderbirds, which I think they did actually do not a big fan of that. They should have stuck with models on that as well. Those freaky puppets have a special place in my heart. Well, according to common ground, your Thunderbirds are going to be live action here pretty soon. They are. I'm in talks with, well, I know the US have got a lot going on at the moment on your site. I'm sure they've probably, they don't need my help. I don't think they'd take it if I've proposed my Thunderbirds or I guess frighteningly enough they probably would take that plan on board. So I guess I'll keep it domestic. I'll keep it. Is that a fuel that you're drinking, Hugh it? I've just noticed. It is a fuel. It is a fuel. I've, and it is a fuel. Oh, I had a fuel explosion. I was like addition. Is that vanilla? It is the vanilla. Oh, Hugh it. Absolutely fantastic. I had just the sort of plain white vanilla one for my lunch today. And it just hits the spot. Andy, do you have any comments on on Hugh? Because you know, I can't help but I can't help but feel ambushed here. Two Hugh drinkers. It's something wrong with this. I had never heard of fuel until the podcast and I thought it was a UK thing only and I finally I looked it up and it was in my my local target. So I had my friend who works there, picks him up for me. He got done with his shift and he was like, what is this? So I had to explain to him why I wanted this. And then I think the first one I had tried was the chocolate one and it was it was okay. And then for Christmas, the same friend, he got me the strawberry one, which I really liked and then I got the vanilla one recently and that's the one I've been drinking. That is that is the way to go. That is a natural progression everyone has. They have the first fuel and they think maybe this isn't for me and then all of a sudden they realize that the question that your friend asked what is fuel. Ambrosia nectar of the gods, it's indescribably good and Andy is indescribably misguided but we love him anyway. You know, he's got other qualities which are mediocre, which means it balances out the really bad qualities. To just a slightly below average. Yeah, and that's it. We're all we're all five to tens. Well, not you, Hugh, you're much better than the rest of us. But Andy, you and I, we're four out of ten. Four point five on a good day. Three champion. That's good to me. I'm just going to give it another chance. Yeah, come on, Andy. I've two publicly made a stand now. Not too late. It's not too late. I also tried this was actually on Sunday. I got the like the greens drink with it. It's like a little comes in a can. I tried that and it smells awful, but it tastes very good. So I've been drinking that as well. Well, that sort of keeps in with the the fuel vibe where it it's got some sort of offense on the the senses in one degree, but then it tastes great because actual fuel it looks pretty sloppy. It looks like something that you would probably have to give a character and resident evil to cure them of something or turn them into something. But then you taste it. It's incredible. So I need to try the greens one. If anything, Hugh, you're a more avid fuel fan than I am, which I don't say likely. That's probably the highest mark of respect I can bestow upon anyone. So to that, I salute you. But I also realized we've I wear it as a badge badge of honors. Yeah, and not in front of Andy though. He won't like that badge. I realized what we've done is we've in typical war with him in fashion, taken you off on a wild tangent while you were trying to go to another question, which I believe was related to Thomas the tank or at least the first question. Oh, yes. I have written down here. Okay. So my my campaign question with the Thomas the train is it reminded me there is a railroad in the game, right? Or am I crazy? Oh, there certainly is. There is. Yes, that's the common wealth it runs between Alexandria, Cairo, and then up to miss a mature. And that wants a turn. I can move either units or supplies along it. I think I've just so stopped mentioning it, but I have been doing it in the game. But yeah, it lets you just instantly move us in a mountain guy. So it's a pretty powerful thing for my side. Okay. I I vaguely remember you guys mentioning it like I don't remember what episode it would have been, but a while ago. And then I didn't know if you were using it still or if it was going to be something that came in later in the in the full game. Oh, I've basically just had a standing order for ammo. So every turn I just send as much ammo as I can with it. Because that's a fine point. If you've not mentioned it every week, then does it really happen? Because I don't know that that counts. If you don't say it on the part, it's not actually real. So yeah, thanks again, he would for going with the script that I sent you so we can undermine Andy at every corner. It's really pain dividends. I will edit this part out and Andy can't do shit about it. Sorry Andy. I couldn't help it. But yeah, so so you can sense like a certain amount of ammo or supplies. And then you said units as well on the train like once per turn or is it once per off stage? Once per off stage, I can send I think it's one and a half thousand tons of supplies, which comes to about a couple hundred ammo or up to two like stacking points. So like half a division can use it as well. Oh cool. Yeah, I just yeah, the Tom is the train thing kind of like I was like I felt like there was a railroad. There was I was like there's other vehicles in the in the campaign for North Africa universe that I I just couldn't remember. So because I forget there's boats too. There's like navy stuff going on as well. Yeah, which is usually this because Andy tries to find my naval convoy at the start of every turn fails to find my navy convoy and and that's it for four months in real life. So it comes up very infrequently, but he does occasionally, which has happened over the last few weeks or so. It does occasionally bombard my supply dumps along the coast with his naval force, which is I think cowardly if I had to put into a word, but I suppose it is within the game mechanics. So I'll allow it. Fun thing is about the railroad as well is he can only send troops as westernly as he has the railroad because if I dip up there and I have say the late and great Sahara in detachment and stick them at a point on the railroad, he can't go any further than that. So I can have the railroad. I can even move further west from that point if I wanted to use it. So watch the space Andy because if you didn't make my Sahara in detachment surrender out of sheer terror, they would be doing that. Yeah James would be putting the camels on the railroad to stop it.
dead camels on planes, but I don't know if there's any rules for living or dead camels on trains. I guess if I was to deduce, I guess live camels quickly become dead camels, if you put them on a train truck. I guess it's if the truck already had a train. That would be an interesting episode of Thomas. That would be a, the horror was one, but it would really educate on, I guess, what happens if you crash a train into a camel? I'm not really sure when I was going with that one, but it would be nightmarish come to think of it because the train has faces. So that can see you coming. It's like that game. Did you guys ever play or hear of the dumb ways to die? Like it was a little mobile game? Yes, yes. And the whole thing was really just like an ad to not play on the train tracks. Which is something I take very personally, because as a kid who grew up loving Thomas playing on the train tracks seemed like a really fun idea. I've learned now that it's probably inadvisable, but it would be it would be a lot of fun to pretend to be Thomas or James, I guess in my case, and you would be you would be Toby and that is an insult. Okay, I was going to ask because I'm not knowledgeable about Thomas's tank engine and the more modern song that they've got like the sort of intro song. They sort of wrap off all the trains and it's like Thomas. He's the cheeky one. Gordon thunders down the line and then when they get to Toby, they say, well, let's just say he's square because he's a sort of tram and that's all they have to describe him in the song. He's square. It's a shape. But it's also I guess it works on two levels because it's a colloquial for being bland. Oh, so you've insulted me in a number of ways. I have, it's quite a sophisticated way to be mean to someone, but Thomas shouldn't be used for that. It should be used for education and when you're a bit hungry. I don't know the characters well enough to say who I would be. I've seen all these like with the game, I've seen all these edited clips of like people doing their own voiceovers and two of those, but I can't, I wouldn't be able to put my finger on what character I would be. I mean, the fact that you've got Hewlett, you listened to probably the best podcast in the world. Presumably, you listen to a good podcast and this one. I would probably give you a good one. Maybe I mean, Percy's a dependable guy. He's a, he's got good character. Oh, you are Percy because in the song, it's Percy pulls the mail on time and you've been there in the mailbag reliably. You are Percy through and through. Let's see. That's a compliment. Percy is Thomas's right hand man. If Thomas was to go to war, if Thomas was to go to North Africa, he would have Percy by his side and he would shed sheds of tears. He would shed tidmouth sheds of tears. That is another Thomas reference for the uninitiated. When Percy is killed in the vast desert of Libya, so I think there is no higher compliment. I'll take it. Thank you. Were there any more, any more questions you would? My, my other question was about Malta and I was just wondering if we could do a refresher of some of the tactical advantages. So like, I know it's there and I know you can bomb Malta. I forget all of things that Malta benefits the players. So good. Malta is being an interesting one because it's not felt very relevant in the scenario so far. But in theory, if I get enough like Air Force there, it should allow me to severely limit James's supplies. So I think part of it, I've not had very much my scouting's not gone well. They've not found anything which sort of made Malta feel a bit relevant. But I think it's primarily where I harass his incoming supplies from and because his supplies all have to be shipped from Europe, he doesn't have any like unlimited ones. If that part of the game starts going really well, he sort of screwed on the map, I think. So I think it'll become a big part once we get bigger air forces. I got you. So more in the real game or the full game, it will be kind of more of an advantage when you kind of get a bigger Air Force there. Yeah, I think so. More bombers, so you can store like potentially knock out like 50% and then also enough scouts to like reliably find multiple convoys. So not much use yet. In fact, I've even sent some of the planes from Malta, well, I'm planning to send them from Malta to the Africa like main map for the last turn of the game because they've not been much use in Malta, but yeah, in the game. The interesting find out if it is relevant. I guess that's part why we're doing it. There's the everything. The point towards it being scary, but I've not seen that scary moment yet. That makes me worry that like a lot of other functions of the game, it'll get to turn 15, 20, and I'll realize that I don't understand the game we're playing anymore. I'm excited to see kind of how it progresses after after like once we start the main game and then get past the like the turn six and then kind of into uncharted territory, how some of these units that haven't been introduced yet and some of these rules really start to play out and kind of affect the landscape of the game. What if you remember how despondent I was at the start of this whole thing? I think it all sound a lot like that and for years this time. So get used to it not being a very happy experience. And there's some special stuff in there like you can do a one off like raid on my navy that could potentially destroy it. I'm sure that'll be raging to you soon when it happens. You always bring this up and it's such a cop out because it's like will you get to do that one thing over the next 40 years which might be so or it could be a complete waste of time and it's gone at which point I've got nothing to look forward to which seems like a psychological trick to get me to not use it. So I've always got something to look forward to. I don't know what kind of mind games you're playing here Andy but I feel very insecure right now. Yeah just you hold on to that like a minute you can fall out like you want that at the end of the game. Use it for the final boss 211 get rid of my navy. I feel like that that part needs to be live streamed in some capacity because I feel like that will make or break most of the game and will be very very hyped for us listeners. Not a good idea actually. I think that should be one that we we have some sort of live reaction to because I'm going to be ecstatic if I go as well I'll be insufferable and if it goes bad we won't get any more episodes so we may as well live stream that one. Yeah it's even the end. I'm also excited for when you guys start the main game because it will bring back one of my favorite taglines from the podcast of the first 15 that we actually started playing the game. I was relisting to some of the the old episodes and every time you guys mentioned that you were starting to play the game it makes me just smile. Yeah we'll be able to drop that one back in for a good few months because that will be a shock. Do you happen to remember how far out we are from actually starting the game when we say we've started playing the game? Is it like 10 episodes? I relistened to a couple this week before the call and I remember episode four you guys had mentioned that you were you started playing the game and that and that all that entailed was that you got the game out of the box. And then I believe episode seven which is actually one of my favorite I have that written down is one of my favorite episodes. That's the Michael McIntyre one. That you started bookkeeping and that's just the whole game that it's all bookkeeping and that you were I think episode eight that was the one where James was very tired and I think all you guys did was put the pieces in the little baggies and like punch out the pieces. Oh yeah. I just remember that. That wasn't long after New Year. That was that was a horrible time in my life. Yeah well New the Michael McIntyre episode we did on New Year's because that's why it's such a mess. Yeah we'd had a little bit to drink I believe and we became quite merry and I'm pretty sure I was singing at the start of the episode. Yeah I think that's that's right. I wrote yeah you started playing the game. I had wrote some quotes down from it. You had mentioned the blindfolded turns. Hopefully that makes an a appearance later in the in the full campaign. I'm sure that will go very well. And then since Michael McIntyre did not come on the podcast I believe you guys deemed him the worst comedian of 2025. Oh wow we're really alienated Hollywood from actually he's not Hollywood that's fine to say. I did come round to him. I remember coming round to him part with through the episode. He's a steadfast comedian.
and is what Michael McIntyre is. - I actually had not, I think I'd heard of him, but I really know who he was until that episode. And then funny enough, it was like months later after I listened to that episode, it was, I was watching, I'm a Formula One fan. And I was watching the like pre-race where they're like walking by like all the cars and their interviewing celebrities. And he was there and they interviewed him. And I was like, oh my gosh. There he is, what's he not doing on the podcast? - Right, I guess he's at San Monica watching Formula One. - Ah, coward. The only two accounts that the war with a mate, Instagram account currently follows its heel and Michael McIntyre. So that's, I've still got that dream of building the bridge and making amends. You'll never hear this, but I'd like to think that you'll come round on this one day. - I think you should come on the, the show when you guys do the Navy, the Navy thing. If he wipes up the Navy and he can be the one that rolls the dice. - That's a good point. That's on him. I like that. I think this should be Michael McIntyre's responsibility. This whole thing kind of is his fault in a way. - So you get to use the raid if you can network your way at Michael McIntyre. It's sort of like how there's the rules about you get extra stuff if you relate it to a marketer. If you can get Michael McIntyre, you get to do the raid. - You know what, how about, if I can get Michael McIntyre, I got a second raid. - That's fair. - You know what, I'll give you that. If you can get Michael McIntyre, he has to roll the dice for us. He can't just do like a cameo. He has to show up, but if he does, you can have another raid. - You want Michael McIntyre to come to your house? - I've got to make it slightly difficult for you. It's slightly because otherwise it would be a done thing. - Well, he would say, do you have any final question? - I was gonna say, one other, I thought we'd revisit the kettle common ground. I feel like that would be only fitting to end this out. - Oh, okay. - It's supposed to be fun to kick Andy off the call in a second. - So again, one of my favorite episodes, I wrote down my two was the Michael McIntyre one. And then actually the episode 62 was the other kind of luck, which was the mailbag, it had like a really good mailbag segment. And that was I think after the kettle common ground where people were shining in and frankly being quite mean to Andy over his idea. And then also James's story with his co-worker about. (laughing) - The golf field. - The scenario, that was a great episode. It reminded me a lot of the older episodes in some of its charm. But I was gonna say with the kettle common grounds, I have, my parents have this thing, it's like a kettle and you can just keep the water in it and flip it on. And I feel like you could put it anywhere in your house. And again, it boils the water and you can just keep it in there. My brother uses it all the time to make tea. So I feel like you could put that anywhere in your house. Andy, this is the Billy Tap I was talking about. That's exactly what that is. - I have discovered since that common ground there are a wide range of products that solve the problem I had without having just a kettle in every room. Yeah. - Of all my common grids as well. I thought it was the one I least expected to have, like a visceral reaction from people. I really didn't think it was that bad of an idea. It seemed pretty tame compared to some of the other ones. I feel like the common ground that made me the most upset was the one with cam. And you guys were talking poorly on roundabouts. I am a big proponent of big roundabouts. So. (laughing) - Oh, I see we've got a huge villain arc coming up as well. Justifying the roundabout. - There's so much easier than like stoplights. I feel like we just installed one at my university and people all the time like talk about how bad the roundabout is. And I'm like, it's so much better than just darting across traffic. - Yeah, I think you just go and yeah, never of us drive. So when calm was talking, we were like, well, yep, that. And now yours, it's like, yep, roundabouts are good because we really can't have an opinion of that. - As if we have any basis to talk about it. But well, are you a driver, Hugh? - I am, yes. - Yeah, I guess that would be. - I would have already outrun. - Yeah. - I have my car and then I actually write a motorcycle as well. And I did almost recently, almost get hits on my motorcycle in the roundabout because someone didn't stop. So maybe there's some caveats to it. But I think as a society, I feel like we should move more towards roundabouts. - Well, I'm not sure where in the US calm is based, but that could well have been calm. There is a good chance he tried to take you out. But if you're on a motorbike, bear in mind, you can be ad-dropped, I believe, in the campaign for North Africa. Any motorized units that are on motorbikes, I'm pretty sure it can be ad-dropped. So that's a little perk of your vehicle of choice. - Sounds great. It was kind of like the last episode where you guys were talking about assigning listeners to units. - Yeah, which is something we are looking at. We're going to try and figure out a logistical solution to that. But we probably will do that. We've had a lot of people suggest that now. So I think it's a fun little way to keep the excitement going where everyone's wondering, has my guide died this week? It means that it's not just me worried about that. - I think that would be such a cool implement. Oh gosh, it's really so cool to implement for the viewers to make it a little more interactive. And especially again, like, kind of what you said, with starting the main game that we'll be able to see some of the bookkeeping along with it. I think we'll make it definitely more interactive. - Oh, but that's what we're trying to make sure it's a shared one. - Go ahead, Andy. - Oh, I just wanted to say, yeah, people will be able to be like, I'm that toe and then, oh, crappy hasn't fed me. (laughing) I'm on half-frazie. - I'm back too crappy hasn't fed me. Now that's a sound bite now. - It makes sense in the context of our very narrow field. - Not what I put that on as our only TikTok video, won't. - That's going to go big. That's going to be massive. - That's what she said. So I guess on that note, wheel, we'll wrap that up, but it's been a pleasure having you on here. Thank you for the questions before today, and thank you for the questions today, and coming along and spilling your lore on Cam trying to kill you and your, I guess, reinvigoration of Thomas the Tank and my spirit, because I'm going to go and find that game tonight. That's my evening sort of. - Well, thank you guys again for having me on. So this has been awesome. I can't wait to follow it on for the next 40 years. We can't wait to get this over and done with. But thank you very much. - Which is also a way of saying you can't wait to be 70. (laughing) - Oh, it'll be great. I'm telling you, life begins at 70 is what they say. It's what I say. - You're going to lay that emotional groundwork. - Thank you, by the way, for getting touched. - You are. - Of course, thank you guys. - Yeah, thanks for listening. (dramatic music) - And there it is. Our first audio mailbag. And for us right now, I felt like seconds listening back to it, 'cause we didn't listen back to it. We, I'll be listening back when I put it in, but there's been no gap between when we introduce the call and right now. Little peek behind the curtain, guys. But it was a fun time. - Yeah, really good. - Thomas the Tank, what a guy. What a train. Trained. It's a scab. - He is. You don't like him. I don't like old Thomas. I'm a big fan. I got a lot of good stuff to say about that guy. Nice man. Party. Pumble. We will probably get back to another. Don't look at me like that. We'll get back into that audio mailbag at some point, because that was a lot of fun to do. It's good to interact with you guys on a one-on-one basis and Hugh, it was a shining example of how I can go well. So we'll reintroduce that in future. I think next time we'll mention it on the podcast rather than just the Instagram. That was sort of a pilot run. So keep an eye out for that, an ear out rather. You won't be able to see it. You crazy folk. You can't see the podcast. - Yeah, we're not doing video. So listen out. We'll introduce that again. And for the more conventional mailbag, which will be the vast majority of when we do this, you can get in touch with us at
[email protected]. The website, warwothermate.co.uk has a web form. And the Instagram is just warwothermates. We also have our very first live show, possibly our only if it goes badly. That's coming up at the UK Games Expo in Birmingham on the 30th of May. Time is TBC. I'm not doing Roman numerals. We just don't have the time yet. Don't convert that in your Roman numeral calculator. - I don't know. That seems like a huge number of Roman. - Ah, yes. 1 million PM. So.
Keep an eye out for that. That could be fun to go to. We're gonna be there. If you're at the expo, come along. If you're not, come along anyway. Yeah, if you are at the expo, please do come along. So there's some friendly faces in the room as it were. Yeah, Andy's nervous. Yeah. I've never do public speaking and when I do, it doesn't go well. So what we'll have is a flip where you'll go in really nervous and probably collapse into it quite comfortably, whereas I'm going to go in very confident with it and realise I'm not ready for that. That'll be fun. So if you want to watch a breakdown of one of one or two and various flavours, UK games expert, the internal war with the mate. Well, we'll release more details as we get closer, but for now we actually have to get a lot further away from that. We have to go way back. The men of the long range desert patrols were quite a sight on their return, a Cairo from a moose trip to the island. The east of the island is very marked in the east. At this point I gave little thoughts on my pastress, but it should always be interesting boats in the sea. I am more or less in a position of a king's in my own shape. I had a telegram which is far the point of sinking because errors are present. We are absolutely not qualified to share views on history. Yes, we're going back and we're going east. So good to keep going. I will edit this. Yes, please do. So either I conquer Constantinople or Constantinople conquers me. Mehmed the conqueror. Spoilers. Oh, hey, you know, if you get a job you'll love, you'll never work a day in your life. That guy loves concrete. Does exactly what he says on the pocket. So we left off with Italy, headed up by Victor, Emmanuel III, laying the diplomat and groundwork to expand his kingdom across the Mediterranean. So we're going to do a whistle top to stop two of the Ottomans who are waiting for them. Now I'm excited for this because the Ottoman Empire, something I'm interested in. So they are really interesting. Never understood it properly. No, weird, fairly unique from what I can tell. So yeah, starts in, well, doesn't start as an empire obviously, but what will become the Ottoman Empire begins in 1299 in Anatolia, star by a man called Osman, the first, who found the house of Osman or westernized to the Ottoman. So despite finding one of the largest longest lasting empires in history, very little's known about him, there's no contemporary sources related to him. The earliest writings come about 100 years after his death. So there's a lot of like myth making in there. It's hard to get the details on such an important guy, which is quite interesting. So when he's coming up the Byzantine Empire. I thought you were saying bees there, which should be a fun twist. The Byzantine Empire is weakening, which controlled the area before and also to the east, the rum salt in it is also in decline. So there's a lot of weakened powers around. So he conquers territory through military might and alliances, he attracts warriors by offering them land and loot, which allows them to capture territory, succulent deal. It's the classic empire deal. Fight for us will give you stuff. That's what I do for work. So in approximately 1323/4, he dies and his son, Ahan, takes the throne. The Ottomans continue to grow their lands and power from here, start taking towns and cities. In 1326 they conquer the extremely wealthy Byzantines at your bursa, which will be their capital for a while. Which of course becomes bursa and the true. Yes, it's in maybe not Anatolia. After this you get an extended civil war for about 100 years until Mehmed the Restora comes from his down. So at this point there are regional power and then along comes his grandson Mehmed the second, who elevates them from a regional power to one of the great powers. He does this by conquering Constantinople, which is served as the capital of the eastern Roman Empire for a thousand years, and thrown off a lot of seizures over its time. But the Ottomans are one of the first guys to sort of figure out, hey, we're going to use gunpowder for war a lot. So they pound the cities in pregnantable walls for a month, pregnant in the country. I hate every part of what you've just said. What a fucking weird word to describe that. Was that off the top of the head? Yeah, that didn't strip up. What a horrible freestyle you've unleashed. So they capture the city, which announces them as a superpower, sends shockwaves throughout Europe. And they immediately make it there. Well, pretty much immediately make it their capital from there. They're on the rise from here. So let's have a look at some of their like features. First off, I found this interesting. The only noble inherited position in the entire empire is the salt and. Okay, so there's no like noble houses over. There's no like hereditary nobility outside the salt and. Okay, so you're at the top. And you inherit that or you're not anything. So there's a sort of meritocracy almost. So does that include anyone below? So there's no kind of like, you know, in like a moniker you've got you sort of princes and. Princesses you will have princes. But you won't have like juke and counts. You won't have enough. Arostocracy. Yeah, which was like a very intentional thing. It stops anyone making like a power base against you. Yeah, that checks out. Which along those lines. Let's talk about the princess here. So that because just a general thing for this, the Ottoman Empire lasts. A 600 years ago. It goes for a lot. So there's a sort of general stuff at best. So it will change. But at various times it's either the oldest some or it's kind of like a survival of the fittest almost hunger games type thing where all the princes are like. Couriering favor and assassinating each other until one comes out on top like the film's stardust with Charlie Cox. And Michelle Fyther. Robert De Niro. Yes. That's a good film. I do remember it being good. It's incredibly good. Take that. Did the song for it. Rule the world. Wow. What a hit. There's like if you go over a wall. There's like no magic. Yeah. Well, if you go over the wall, there's no magic because you're just here. Oh, okay. And then you go over the wall. There is magic. And he tries to catch a star, which is actually a woman. Yes, I will remind him how was any of this like princes killing each other for the throne. There's a bunch of princes who try to kill each other for the throne. Oh, then yes, it's just one for one translation just like that. I think it's actually based on the Ottoman Empire. But that's only based on this conversation. Okay. So then once the salt and dyes and the new salt and rises. Kill all my brothers or imprison them for life. Again, it's this stability thing like no one getting a power base against you. Pretty cultured probably why it lasts so long as well, but yeah, very ruthless. Maybe. Yeah. Why didn't anyone else learn from this? Because this seems a pretty cut and dry tactic. I think it's hard because if you've got existing nobility, they'll be against like the British aristocracy would have had a civil war. If they tried to introduce it, you sort of have to do it from day one, I think. Yeah, and you don't often get to start a new empire. No, it's not. It's not a common activity. It's not a podcast. You can't just do it with very little budget and two. Yeah, you can't just pop in and form an empire because you don't have anything to do on Tuesdays. Ottoman Empire, by the way, why is nobody opened up a silver shop with that name? They must have. That must exist. We'll fact check that afterwards because if not, I'm going to go straight on to square space. And I'm starting it up. It's a million pound, don't I? I'm buying it up. Don't anyone snipe that. You better, you better not snipe that. So under the salt and you have something called the devsherend system. This is where they'd forcibly recruit Christian boys, mainly Greek Serbians and Albanians, but basically any within their empire. Devotion. Devotion. Between the ages of sort of eight and eighteen, this blood tax would happen every four or seven years. And from there these children would be taken to Istanbul and be converted to Islam. From there, their fear of tested and then sent to various branches so they might get sent to the military or the priesthood or like bureaucrats. Some of them will get castrated and become unix for the salt and harm our personal house staff. So it's like quite an interesting system. These guys end up taking a lot of like very high level military and administrative positions throughout the empire. Middlemen. Yeah. In a way. So they're technically slaves owned by the salt and okay.
- Okay. - But they receive a salary and a pension and like our treat it quite well. - Slaves for the pension is a hard one to wrestle with. - 'Cause they are forcibly taken. - And castrated. - Some of them are castrated, yeah. They're converted. They spend time living among Turkish families after they convert learning like language and stuff. These are the Janissus, I don't know if you've. - I don't think I've heard of that. - Yeah, well, they're called the Janissaries. So this is like, you've got the one hereditary position of the salt in and then like slave administrators and military leaders where you have your nobility normally, which is I think is also again, another stability thing, whereas like none of these people can topple the other. - Because they're a slave, so they wouldn't be accepted, if they. - Yeah, they get to the top, no one's gonna actually recognize that position. - Yeah, so this system was designed to create like, loyal armies and elites, while also stopparing the gathering of familial or local power that forms and often has severe consequences for empires. They're also one of the first infantry, they're potentially one of the first standing armies ever and almost certainly the first one to use predominantly firearms as infantry. So sort of the start half, first half of the Ottoman Empire, they're like technologically advanced when it comes to ball, gunpowder, game changer. - Yeah, that's a big one to get. - And also professional armies rather than like levying, like a nobleman to come with like two or three knights and like his farmers. - You've got like professional soldiers. - So it's an interesting thing is what they use this as well when they're conquering and making alliances 'cause there'll be like, if you surrender or you join us with less of a fight, we'll have less of a blood tax on you. So they also use it as like a negotiation thing 'cause obviously there's a lot of resentment and families don't want you to come and take their children. - Funny that, yeah. For the most part, but it is also interesting. Some families want it 'cause if you're like a deer, part farmer in a like a field, it's a chance for your child's. They won't be your family, as it were, but they will have way more opportunity. They could become like multiple grand viseas, the like second highest place in the empire come from these, like janitries, slaves that are taken and then rise through the ranks. - Yeah. - So it's an interesting, - It's like sending your kid to the wall in Game of Thrones. - Kinda, yeah. Like you're stripped of your titles, you join a new thing, but it is a position of respect. - Yeah, yeah. Religiously, the state is Sunni Muslim, but it's also very accepting of other religions for the time. It has someone called the millet system that allows religious communities to maintain their own autonomy to a certain extent. So like a Christian area could have Christian courts, Christian education. They can do Christian wedding ceremonies, but like they're allowed to administer themselves and then just pay a special tax. - Like the no blood triumvirate? - Yes, that's a reference to our D&D game. So it's, but yes, that's it. - So I can understand it. Yeah, so that's kinda how that works. - Yeah, so I think this is also part of their longevity 'cause they're not like Britain at the time, they're like Catholics and Protestants of fighting other countries in Europe as we'll get to expelling various religions, whereas their Muslims had special status, but they'd allow other people to practice their religions and have some autonomy. 17th century Scottish traveler, William Liffgrove, said they permit to all and everyone to live and follow his own religion as he pleases if without violence or constraint. Another example of this attitude is when King Fernando expells the Jews from Spain in 1492, and at the time, Bazaid, the second is the ruler of the Ottomans and he says, "You venture to call third and underwise ruler, "he who has impoverished his own country and enriched mine." And they actually sent the Ottoman navy to collect the Jews and give them safe passage and to the Ottoman Empire and lands 'cause he's like, "Your kicking all these guys out, "a lot of them with very useful skills, "we're gonna gobble them up." - So they've adopted a different religious group entirely because of their marriage. - Almost pragmatism. - Yeah, bringing on refugees from a very pragmatic mindset. - Yeah, that is an interesting approach. That's not something I've heard a whole lot of. - I don't think this is super common. I know the, I think the Mongols had a similar attitude where they were basically like, you can pray to whatever God you want, but you also have to kind of like pray for me to your God. They had a sort of, where like, it's like stacking the debt. Where like, so if any of you are right, you after, you can worship whoever you want, and you sort of have to pray your God for my good favor as well. - Kind of like Elvis. 'Cause Elvis, and I think this is correct, Elvis would wear a sort of pendant or something with loads of different religious iconography on. And again, I don't know how accurate this is, but there's a quote that I saw attributed to him where he was like, "Well, if I get to heaven, "I don't wanna get turned away on a technicality." So I'll just do them all, figure it out, the pearly gates, doesn't it? - Yeah. So when he passed on the toilet, who knows maybe he got through, he'd go to the, - Yeah, he got through wherever he was going. - He brute-forced religion, he believes in it, whatever it is. - Yeah, just generally, I believe in religion. - I'm faithful. - So the Ottomans are sort of on the rise through the first couple of hundred years. This is when they're sending. And they arrive in sort of our area of the world in 1551. At the time, Libya doesn't have a strong central authority and the coast was home to the Barba repirates. - Hmm. - Again, another example of Spain's fuck up, 'cause these guys will be a big problem for Spain over time. When they expelled the Jews, they also expelled a lot of Muslims, who many of whom ended up. Traveling south and becoming pirates. And then raiding Spain and most of Europe. They would raid like, as far as Iceland, they were regularly raiding Ireland, which I didn't realize they were taking. For several hundred years, they were taking slaves from Ireland, some from England. Yeah. - What did the thing was gonna happen when they cast them out? - I don't, they're gonna go and do something, you guys. And you've sent them to somewhere that isn't particularly hour-ed-all hospitable to life. They're gonna steal stuff. - Yeah, a bit like what I did with my guys in the desert. I just left them there for you to attack them. - Yeah. - What did I expect? - An old truck. Like Thomas. - So there's not a great central authority, but Tripoli is owned by the night hospitable. Hospitable? - Yeah. - You gave the city to them 20 years earlier after the Ottomans had driven them off their original home base, the island of Rhodes. - So the Ottomans show up with artillery in about 10,000 to 12,000 men against 800 defenders. - That's feeling again, very, very familiar. - The siege takes a week and most of it is sort of negotiating surrender. (laughing) Is it still a siege of it's just negotiating surrender? - I guess they sort of couldn't leave with the siege, but eventually a hundred defenders do leave the others don't. But so from here, the region around Tripoli that'll become Libya is loosely governed from Constantinople, but the local generous series hold a large amount of power and have little oversight from the empire. The generous series collect taxes and most of the revenue from the region comes from the Barbary pirates and we'll loop back to them next time when we pick up the second half of the empire and some pirate wars. - Oh, we're doing a pirate session. - Yeah. - Oh, I love pirates. - 'Cause I didn't realize this. These guys fought two wars against the US. - Oh. (laughing) - That's contemporary. - Yeah. - Oh man, pirate one. - Yeah. - I'm excited for pirate history. - Yeah. - And I think I'll come back to the Ottomans 'cause they're so interesting and different from European empires of like Red or No about. - Well, this explains why when I was reading about them a while ago, I didn't really grasp it because it sounds like. I think they've got a lot of stuff outside the norm. - Yeah. - So I think I've been looking for sort of parallels and when it's not made sense, I'm like, well, this isn't how this part works. I've misunderstood something. It sounds like they just do a lot of stuff differently. - Yeah. - And sensibly as well. - They also like, they had public mental health things where, where is the like, Western Europeans at the time were like, that guy's crazy, like lock him in the asylum. They treat them with like, the rumors and running waters and flowers and music. They had an organization that would look after retired park animals. Like they had a bunch of weird like, social infrastructure stuff that was almost like ahead of its time. - These guys had a donkey sanctuary and better help. - Yeah. It's just a very, yeah. In popularized coffee houses. - Oh. - Got a lot going on. - These guys got central perk going on. - History, history, history. - The Ottomans, Ottomans, Ottomans. I would have been, I'm not sure I was going with that. - Yeah, yeah, I thought it wasn't sure. - It was doing a significant pause or if you just knock on anything. - He lost his train of thought, halfway through the thought. So whatever I would have been, we'll never know. So I guess we'll email in. - What would have you been in the Ottoman Empire? - Tell me what I would have been in the Ottoman Empire or just if I wasn't wasting my time doing this. Let me know what potential did I have. What potential have I lost? Tell you what there is potential for Andy. A chance to make up. - There is. - A chance to become friends and cuddle up on that sofa, kick the celebrity off. You can sit somewhere else. - You can sleep on the floor. - He snooze an all day. - It's actually, yeah. - Who the fuck does that? - Too much. - That's wild. - Just sit in my living room, cut Z's. (laughing) Cut Z's. - He's not incredible. I will be using that. An unsufferable amount. - And now for something nicer, a little oasis in the war. It's time for some common ground. Try and build a room and common ground. I'm recording. - Medicine. - Yeah. - All right, I guess we're gonna have to go into our usual segment of common ground, a perfect opportunity every week for us to come together as friends amidst this war, find a topic to discuss, debate and agree on. And since last week, I did a first ever rebuttal common ground. That actually puts the ball back in your court, Andy. - Yeah. - So what is your common ground? - I've said just so you a picture on Facebook as you grab that, just so you know what I'm talking about. But I ran across this idea this week that I thought was really cool. They're called it's half a house. - Right, okay, I'm seeing this. - So I just to explain the listeners, they're sort of built in such a way that they're like intended to be expanded. So it'll be like the frame of the house, but only half of it in there. - Yeah, I see it. Yeah, yeah, there's a big gap between these houses. So yeah, it is half a house. It's very well described. I'll put the picture up on the Instagram this week. - Yeah, I just thought this was a cool idea 'cause it's, you could get a house as it were. - Yeah. - I get on the property ladder. And then also if you make more money rather than like leaving your community, you can like extend your house. So you could have like a bunch of people moving in an area at the same time and then not to spurs. And also you can, one of them, they put a balcony in, one of them they're like a carrot. You can like sort of design the house as you want it. - Okay, and you think this is a good idea. Yeah. Cool. We're not gonna agree on this one from the immediate. - Okay. - We're gonna have to wrestle with this one Andy. Who owns the house? - When you buy it. - You. - But no, when you go to buy it, who are you purchasing this from? - Property developer. - So they get to sit on land, a place where someone can live. And what happens to the blank half that isn't being used, that can be developed into? - Well, it could be your garage, you could just have some outdoor space. Like, so do you own all of that area, all of that land? - Yeah. So why is there a gap? So you have to buy it and then you have to develop it further. - You can, yeah. So this seems like a great opportunity for a housing developer to build the titular half a house, give you some extra land and go, tell you what, you do the rest of our job. Those lazy bastards. - I guess you could look at it that way. - Are you a property developer or something? - You can get a house cheaper than you would. - You can. - And it can like grow with you. - You sound like a pitch from these people. - I guess I'm a house can grow with you. - I like the concept. - Sorry, I guess I am pitching it here. - Go, what are you gonna do next? Tell me you're a landlord. - No, this is not that. - No, I don't, no, this is lazy property developers saying, 'cause they will not charge less. - But okay, these bastards will not charge less. - You're saying the system's completely fucked with property development, so it wouldn't. - But conceptually, this is big house trying to sell little house. - I didn't realize you'd be so vehemently against this. - But dude, like you could get a house relatively cheap. I mean, yeah, in theory, I suppose. And then if that's enough for you, you can just have it. And then say you like have a kid or you're planning to have a family. You can just add to your things and it's got the beams and the walls there, so it's cheaper. So, and it means you don't, like, yeah, you don't necessarily have to move. - You don't have to move, but these property devs, dev mentioned, these property devs that are so predatory, and they're definitely willing to charge you out the eyeballs still for a house that's half built and then go, well, you could do, this'll be great. You can expand into this. It's a little DIY project. It'll bring the family together. You wanna have kids? Well, this area that we fail to develop, you can do so. And it also means for that period of time, where you haven't developed it, they could have built twice the amount of houses double. And that means that the housing crisis is exacerbated massively, because now they're buying up the same portion of land, selling it for probably a comparable amount and half of the people are being homeed. - Oh, I guess, okay. But also the housing crisis is nothing to do with how many homes there are. In a way it is. - No, it's entirely affordability and art of visual scarcity. - But this is art of visual scarcity by definition, because they're giving you half a house. - Okay. - That is scarcity. They're harping the amount of house that you get. - Okay. - And then they go, well, you can build into this. And if it's affordability, that's the issue. Then they're never gonna build the same amount. - I'm just customizing. - Customizing. You don't even mean this anymore. - No, I do. I actually really didn't think it'd be so vehemently against this. - I just, I hate property developers, I think. I think I've found fair. But they've ruined full houses. - So what they could do, you use a bit of a counterpoint then. Why don't they build twice the amount of houses that are just smaller homes slightly? And they just sell those at a lower price that fixes the affordability thing. - No, it doesn't. It means that the house is half the car. - Houses aren't expensive because like, oh, they just finished one. Everyone, like, there's a waiting list of buyer house. That's not why they're expensive. But if you're saying that they're gonna charge less because of the size of the house. - Yeah, 'cause it's like they only, yeah. That's half the construction cost. Pretty much. - Yeah, so if they're building only half a house every time and that's just the full house. And instead of having this open space on the side, they just build a second house. Then that means everyone's getting a house for half the price. So now there's cheaper housing available. You've got, yes, a smaller home. Everyone lives in little like rat dens. But if you like these houses in the first place, then you're fine with that. - Well, no, it's your buy-in like a two bedroom. And then you've got the option to make a four bedroom. - Or everyone can start with a four that two bed. And then if you wanna get a bigger house, you move out of the zone of many houses and you go into a bigger house, which is already fully built and these bastards don't get to build a half a house and skimp on costs. Okay, if we took property developers out of this, 'cause you've got just anything I mentioned to do with housing you wouldn't like 'cause you don't like property developers. That evil. Okay, not disagreeing.
Okay, but let's say. So, okay, so we abstract the property developer side of things. Yeah. So you can have a community that lasts a long time, because that's also a problem, is that when people in, like, lower income communities do well, they leave. Okay. This side of things, I think. This gives them a reason to, like, stay. Yeah, you live in the area for the foreseeable. And it can accommodate you. Expanding or doing well. Well then, because, I mean, come a ground, we get abstract with it. Let's get weird with this. So how about all the houses are built fully? Okay. However, when you're moving out, there is the option for your next-door neighbor to buy your house when you leave. And then they can just knock it through and then take that. No, they'll just do what they did to council houses and become landlords. No, they're not allowed to. If you're buying the house next door, you have to knock the walls through. Then you'll just sell it to them. Okay. You can't sell these houses to landlords. Okay. You have to live in them. Oh, you shouldn't sell them in the public house. You can't. No, you have to own it. Okay. And you have to knock the wall down. The moment you buy next door, you have to knock the wall down. It's a contractual requirement. Okay. And if you don't do that, then there's a really bad consequence. Okay. They demote you down to quarter house. Oh, okay. Well, they take away your upstairs. Yeah. They seal it off and they give it to a deserving family because you're clearly not welcome here. You're not welcome upstairs anymore. And they put stairs on the back of the house so that the nice family can go upstairs and they're going to be really noisy. Okay. They only move in noisy families. But they're welcome there because they're nice people. They just have really hard shoes and the floors are going to be thinned down to be really thin. I'm just making this worse. This is what you deserve if you're not following the rules. Okay. That feels like the house. Okay. Would you not be able to buy a house and then just try to sell me a fucking house? Yeah. I just really liked this idea and then didn't think you'd be so against it. I think what you want to do is just build your own home. You just want to build your own home. I guess maybe. Maybe I just want to go and grant a science. Tell you what, find a plot or land and build your own home. I want to. I don't want to do that. Don't let a problem developer. Frick you. Into thinking that they've given you an opportunity. Look at this area that we failed to build in. This is for you. This is going to be fun. In 15 years time, you've got to build on this land. You'll have to have inspected again because the elements will weather the earth and then you'll have to build foundations. The problem of homes. Yeah, but right now you've got you take a full house, not the program. You've already got everything there. The structures there. The foundations. Talk kind of already in place. But with this, who knows what's going to happen to soil? Anything can happen to soil. I will say this is a worse idea in print. I'm picturing this in Britain, yeah, because land is fucked. Yes, this is a better idea in places where land is cheap. Yeah, I guess I'm also looking at this from that angle because I've worked in the mortgage industry. So I know how fucked it is. I guess that's also where my whole property developer issue is coming from. Yeah, the deals that they offer on, for me, they never seem like good deals. No, I mean, I've got some friends who live in New Bill's and they're fucking suck. I mean, they're all Bill terribly. They all have the, you know what I hate, the construction of the nation, the bathroom door. They put it on the wrong way round. I don't really know if they couldn't get into that. That says bathroom because it hit the sink with like an inch of clearance. It's like, how do you fuck that up? Like, you put the door in and we're like, that's done. I'm not going to test it, which is swing it open. But also just in the installation of the door, did you never need to go into that room at any point of like the putting the door together? It's how do you make that mess? Like someone noticed and was just like, fuck it. Like, yeah. And another one had lights falling out of the ceiling because they're, yes, so probably not for New Bill's and Britain suck. So let's move the idea elsewhere, I guess. If it's in an area where it's sustainable, I guess maybe more so, but I just think we're going to get ripped off. I agree. I just, I guess I like the idea of like, a bunch of people can move into an area in the early 20s. Affordably. And then that could just, rather than people leaving, you could actually have communities built. I don't know. That part I like. Yeah. And I like the people, because I think you get problems in areas where it's like not a good area. So anyone who's like successful gets that shit together leaves. Yeah. So then you don't everyone becomes a girl out. The people left. There's not people around to look up and stuff. Look up. Like, yeah, I got that. Yeah, people wanted to leave the areas as soon as they can because this is the only home they could afford. And their reputation becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because anyone with money that leaves because they don't want to be there anymore. Yeah. And it never gets investment. It never gets developed. Local amenities fail. Yeah. I guess it becomes part of a much bigger problem. So I think if we can find a way to have the, I say, I still think these half homes are a good idea. But next door, it's another half home. Yeah. Yeah. These are these starter homes. And over time, maybe we give faith that the area will develop and that half the people will move out elsewhere. Half of them will stay and they'll take over next door when those people leave. Yeah, you could do it. Yeah. Have the people in, you know, house A are going to be staying long term. Yeah. And the people in house B, it's a, a, a, a mortgage with a fixed rate. And after five or 10 years, the fixed rate expires and the shoots have quite a bit. But these are people who have their sights set on, on housing up and going to a different area. Yeah. So if they stick around afterwards, it's going to be really costly. Or they could go move to another area, maybe another half house, different place. But the guys next door, they're ready to move in. They will knock down the wall and they take house B and it all becomes house C. Yeah, I can see that working as a source. Build them in a way where they can be connected. That's, that's how we do this. That's how we make this a good community. You get your lasting community, we get the affordable housing and the developers have to build the fucking house. Here's another way you can cut the developers out. The initial stuff's done. You know, are you saying, oh, you have to pay the developers to come back in? If you build that sense of community, you could have, oh, like, you know, the, you know, the, um, uh, armish barn buildings, where they're like, descend on someone's farm and all, like, throw a barn up over like a weekend. Yes. You could have like, oh, we're going to go and do days over half bit. Yes. So it's not you cut the developers out with anything after the initial good. I like the idea of the developers being cut. Yeah. There we go. So we're going to grab we hate property developers. I will just build a good house and build them just a bit less of something because. Build them sturdier. Yeah. And so if anyone's got any land for any to build a house on, let us know. Please. Please. But I guess that's a wrap. Yeah. We found our common ground and you found that you want to do a self build. I, yeah, I guess that is a thing I would love to do at one point. I'd help you. Yeah. I wouldn't do a very good job though. That's fine. I'd probably try and con you out of some of the land. That's not fine. Like a land developer. I'm going to take a little bit of your land from your nice forest clearing where you built your home and build a high rise. I'm a conglomerate giant. And we are, we're done. That's it. It's over for the week. But anyone wants to get in touch, you know the means, you know the email address and for what the mate I could at UK, the website, what the mate I could at UK and the Instagram, what were the mate, special thanks to Hewitt for coming along. Very good time, very good call. And we're out to his listening party. Yes. Yes. If you're listening party goes ahead, Hewitt. This is a shout out to them. And keep it now. I wrote an I wrote a new route, listen, watch.
and we'll be back with an audio segment and we'll be back next week with more wall of the mage, more campaign for North Africa, more of everything you love and from me James. Yeah, and he stays subtle humble and brave. In the deserts of your minds. Tcha-tcha! [Music]
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