Episode 680: Q&A III

there's no place to escape to this is the last on the left that's when the cannibalism started i had to talk today okay yeah yeah are you doing your exercises yes he's your james headfield welcome last podcast on the left i'm leading today's episode i'm doing it yeah taking the rain taking the rain i'm taking it back because today we're not in the studio sure but we are because we're talking about we're here we are we are here you're doing a bad job right up top you're you're lying on camera okay i'm never this guy sure so today we decided to do a patreon q a episode because you guys are so curious about us and we're just we're just so like mysterious unknowable artists that we thought it's time for us to part the curtains for the very first time and explain to you what we're like personally oh yeah yeah people have no idea this is my job how am i supposed to be doing this hi i'm henry spresky and i'm sitting here with former major host of the show marcus parks former cool uh yeah i'll do i get paid the same no oh we're bumping you down all right fine less stress and i have as little responsible as always ed larson i did it for you thank you vestigial arm ed larson this is going really well yeah i'm really glad that i'm in charge yeah so what i have is a bunch of questions in front of me i hope some of them are sad there are there's a lot of sad ones there's a lot of inappropriate ones and there's a lot of ones that make me angry oh but those are but i also think there are good ones okay and so we're gonna do a big mix of all of them nice nice so number one okay let me start start or do you want to do one t up something i have nothing to talk about i talk to you all day every day this is the only thing i need to do yeah i am caught up i know every story i know every moment so first of all first question what's your guys's worst fear uh prison yeah yeah yeah prison definitely yeah but definitely prison prison for sure you know that i definitely dream about going to prison a lot but i definitely like i'm scared of really bad of getting hit by a car or uh or falling really hard really i think of what i think like that's how i'm gonna die i feel like you could work on falling though no not like while i'm walking like awful like a something off the side of something or you know you lean and it doesn't have the support you think it does oh yeah sure i i really think it's gonna be a noopsie dude that takes me out because i get kind of reckless when i'm happy yeah you have to really be very careful yeah yeah and i am afraid of my own potential that's why i just won't fully embrace it i won't fully embrace it because i honestly i need to leave some for the rest of you yeah i remember one guy quit our old sketch group murder fist because he said it was getting too successful i do remember that and then i'm just like i have no money yeah what do you mean what are you talking about i work 80 hours a week before i do this yes and i make no money what sort of complex did that guy have where he had to be that hated i don't know it was wild he's uh it was a problem it was a problem but i uh honestly though i think the thing i'm most afraid of is uh what i'm currently dealing with which is a thing that i think a lot of guys my age are afraid of which is the doctor now what the doctor is going to tell you i'm afraid of the impending uh bad news i'm afraid to know but i know that i'm supposed to and i'm literally fighting through generations of being afraid of the doctor my father was afraid of the doctor by i never met my paternal father i never met my paternal father i never met my paternal father i never met my grandfather at all because he died when my dad was 10 his every zabrowski died of alcoholism or heart attack okay before they all uh reach a old age my father is the oldest zabrowski in like six generations wow yes really and he was going for it yeah he didn't even try to live you know that's a good sign though you're trying to live except you know but then i i busted open my penis top but you're still eating berries yeah i'm eating fucking berries but my dick and balls are black and blue and not the fun way i think it's good that your dick and balls are black and blue because now you know your limits you were going too hard at the gym for too long yeah yeah you can tell so let's go to this next question that's the worst part about being like this is that the more you work out the way i'm shaped you just look more like a tree stump i just look fatter and fatter i just look bigger look like a giant rock which is what i want to be that's actually good because that gives you fucking low-key like able to wreck somebody that's what i want to do no what you've got you've got 1930 circa strongman body yeah that's that's what you have i am the same measurement i'm not even joking shoulders tits middle section waist literally one size you're the only guy at the gym that uses the barbells with the big round circle weights bring your own handlebar mustache or do you rent the ones they have there at the gym i normally rent them and uh i am a size niner you don't have enough rope at this gym yeah i gotta know the rope where's all my rope okay you can only bring me two tiny lasses to sit on each end of my dumbbells and i can lift them all afternoon what's your favorite beer favorite beer really yeah that's what these people want to know i know these i'm just kind of going through some light i'm gonna go through light and heavy i'm really into italian pilsners i love my italian pilsners i think they're delicious the more ready is perfect uh my favorite beer it's uh called sundays uh it's it was only available in brooklyn but can't get it out here i used to drink it in brooklyn all the time but yeah sundays best beer ever made spot a cow yes but i would say uh the beer i drink the most is probably 805 i was i really thought you were gonna say adolf hitler no he honestly was a teetotaler oh i also like the big grulches the large ones that have the pop top oh yeah those are the big ones that are the big ones that are the big ones that are the yeah i love polish beers and and czech beers i like a good you know pilsners light lagers yeah ipa can go fuck a duck fuck a duck yeah i i don't like ipa if there was a fascinating or all of the of all of the fascinating mysterious events we have covered here last podcast and left which is the one you wish you could have witnessed with your own two eyes oh can i go first go ahead that guy's shooting all those little goblins coming out of the trees to his house hopkinsville goblin case fuck yeah dude that's a good one eddie yeah that's a really good one because like what happened there yeah um i guess i would have liked to see jfk get shot yeah me too i watched a zubruder film just relax the last one i want to see it's the only angle i want to see the other i want to see the other angles you might get shot if you're on the other side that is true or you're shooting i would but or if there was something that crashed in roswell i'd like to see the crash yeah that'd be fun maybe um hmm yeah i think okay jfk getting shot yeah you know what i take it back me lie great yeah that mysterious event what an incredibly spooky story a mysterious event that it's not like there were photojournalists there very mysterious very very mysterious for an entire trial that outlined everything that happened from every angle talking to every person in detail um i would like to see what happened at the diatlov pass yeah what's that it is the story of a group of hikers that went up i believe was it russia it was russia it was one of the yeah it's like that and they uh maybe ukraine like soviet state it's a in an area of the world they go they go uh they go hiking and essentially they're found in a mysterious state where you know like some of them have no clothes and they're like up against a tree one person had their tongue removed and and they're like up against a tree one person had their tongue removed and there's a bunch of different theories obviously now they're saying there is a we're gonna do a redo on that yeah we are we are absolutely going to do a redo on it because there's like some new answers but i would love to have been there that night doing it to them mine was so innocent mine was about goblins this is about goblins no because we don't know what it legitimately seems it was a natural thing yeah versus like anything but there's a lot of ufo connections all that kind of shit yeah or even cryptic connections yeah which would be kind of fun um have any of you guys seen each other's penises um surprisingly no no i've seen everything around your penis many many many times every part of i've grabbed henry's naked ass plenty of times but i don't think i've actually seen your penis yeah i've seen you holding your penis naked on stage more times than i can count that's true yeah and your little butt yeah i used to throw you out onto stage naked yeah but yeah no that was i i was usually i'd like grab some of your back hair like your tush and toss you on the stage So you'd rock it out there faster. Yeah, but I've never seen Marcus's fully nude. And I've never seen you nude. We even lived together. Yeah, I just saw you. I've seen everything around your balls. I've seen your balls. I've seen just your balls. Have you? You've showed me just your balls. Hell yeah. That's cool. But I haven't seen the penis. Obviously, you don't remember that. Yeah, no, I don't. There's so many years. I remember one time I showed you just above my penis because you asked me about a sore that you had. And then I had the same sore. And I was like, you mean like this one? Yep. That's called fat man. That's fat man socialized medicine. And you have to understand that. What's the funniest smell you can think of? I just saw that one. Cotton candy vomit. Wow. All right. Funniest smell I can think of. If you have one, go. I'm still thinking. I'm trying to. Clown breath. Clown breath. That's my cologne. That's my fucking cologne. That's the worst part of a clown. Clown breath. Come closer. Funniest smell. Yeah, I guess it would have to be circus themed, I guess. I guess the other two were cotton candy vomit. Yeah. Clown breath. I guess that makes sense. But funniest smell. Oh, Bigfoot's dick. Great. Thank you. Thank you. Winner. Winner. Wow. There you go. What are you guys' white whale vinyls? Oh. That's the thing. At this point, I have found my white whales. I found that they have recently got a first-pressing maggot brain. Nice. And actually, I found two in the same store. I found both, and I bought one for Henry to start off his new vinyl collection. It was nice. Yeah. It was at Permanent Records here in LA, which is a fucking amazing record store. Oh, that is awesome. There's one record I used to have that I lost through time, and I want back really bad. It was the Rhythm. It was the Rhythm Devils, which was the drum section of the Grateful Dead doing their version of the Apocalypse Now soundtrack. That's great. Yeah. No, I gave it to a friend when I was homeless for a little while, but I never got it back, and I've never seen it anywhere ever, and I got it for $2 at a record store in Tallahassee, and it was really cool. It was all clicks and stuff. You know, like when he's playing the boat in Apocalypse Now? It's like that the whole time. It's really cool. And it's gone. It's gone. And I miss it, and I hope to see it again sometime. Also, the first Felice album, Felice Brothers album, Tonight at the Arizona, is really hard to find on vinyl. Yeah. And there's Those Darlings. You know, they only made so many of those, and I really love them. And I can listen to those on Spotify and stuff, so I'm not like completely devoid of the music. Sure. But my biggest white whale was the Bushwick Gospel Singers. I couldn't find. I was like friends with the band. I wanted to hear it again. It got stripped from online, and I was calling them. And none of them had CDs and stuff. And then finally, Zoe, John Moreno's wife, who's in the Bushwick Gospel Singers, she found a CD, sent it to Julie, and Julie got a vinyl pressed for me. Aw, that's great. Oh, yeah. I love that. I remember, yeah, the Bushwick Gospel Singers. Cowman used to play shows with them all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were the best. Yeah, they were amazing. Yeah, and my other white whale that I found was Suicide's First Record, first pressing of that. Oh. Yeah. And. Can't believe a band named Suicide had a second album. Yeah, they had. They had four. Aw. You see, there's always unsuccessful attempts. Yeah. What's yours, Henry? What's yours? Honestly, I don't know yet. I'm not really there. I am kind of, like, you guys are deeply obsessed within the world of music and know what you want, where I still feel like I'm very much still discovering. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta find your lane. My favorite music is stuff like, I'm kind of like a song guy, and I'm still discovering quite a bit of stuff. So I feel like, you know, now that I'm deep into jazz, I really like that, but I'm not like, I'm not yet into the world of vinyl where I can even really understand the difference between the various vinyls when I listen to them. I can't either, personally. You know, I mean, like, obviously if one is a crackle and another one doesn't, that's obvious. That's different. You know, but like, I just didn't, I just like them. Like, I don't know the difference between, like, that's like one of those things where I get hung up on that you guys know, like, I don't know what the differences between all the pressings are and why one's good versus one's not as good or like. The really thin, flimsy ones aren't good. Yeah, the thick ones are like the audiophile ones. The 180 gram new ones are always good, but then they're recorded from digital rather than from tape usually, and that's the problem. Yes, because that's the main issue is the new one, because the old ones, because like someone, I think you guys both said to me a really good axiom for vinyl buying is buy vinyl from when vinyl was peak. Yes. When it was, but what you want is you want, like, if you're buying albums from the 60s, 70s, and 80s, like, those are mixed to sound good on a record. Yes. But if you're buying, like, 90s stuff, buy CDs, because those were mixed to sound good on CDs, and then, you know, once you get to modern day, it doesn't fucking matter. We specifically, though, produced our Halloween sound effects album for vinyl. Yeah. Tack on question for this. What was the first record or cassette or CD you guys bought? The first cassette I ever bought was the Adam's Family Rap by MC Hammer. Fuck yeah! Yeah, it was the first cassette. The Adam's Family! Yeah. Did it? Yeah, that was the first cassette. Single that I bought. The first record I ever bought was actually here in Los Angeles. I was 14, and it was a bootleg of a bunch of Guns N' Roses demos. Nice. From the Appetite for Destruction sessions. I still have that record. Fuck yeah. I believe that's worth some money. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And the first CD I bought, I believe, was the Woodstock 94 double CD. Nice. Yeah. Mine was Boys 2 Men. No, I take that back. Stone Temple Pilots Purple. That was the first CD I ever bought. Oh, hell yeah. First CD I ever bought was Simpsons Sing the Blues. That was the second tape I ever bought. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so funny. That was the first full cassette album I ever bought. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, right after the cassette single. And then I remember one day I was like, told my mom I was starting to get into hip hop, and she was down for whatever I wanted. You know, she just wanted to make me happy. I was an only son. And so she was like, all right, you have $50. She took me to a place called Peaches. Great record. Great store at Boca. And she was like, all right, get any albums you want. I'll make sure you get them because of parental advisory. And then I got Two Live Crew Sports Weekend, Cypress Hill Black Sunday, Snoop Dogg Doggy Style, and Dr. Dre the Chronic. And I was 12. Yeah. And it was awesome. Wow. Yeah, yeah. You were the hardest little boy in the whole store. Yeah. By 10, I had already, like, I knew all of those albums by heart because my brother had all of them, and I would take his CDs and make tapes when he was like, oh, I need to like, out hanging out with his friends. Hell yeah. Did you say Boyz II Men, Henry? Yeah, Boyz II Men. Coolie High Harmony or the one with, I'll make love to you when you want me to. I was a very romantic little boy. Yeah. My very first cassette tape was the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack. And then Boyz II Men, I loved. I loved. That was like when I was really into, oh, what else? Like, well, Sublime. I think Sublime was a big one. And Garbage. Garbage, that first album, I think I purchased because I was sexually transfixed on Shirley Manson. Understandable. Still am. Live from Northland. So this next question is, this is a harder question. And I like it, but it's a, it's a, it's a complimentary question, but also I'm interested in the subject. Yeah, you started off with a couple of fucking softballs. Yeah. So this is one that's complimentary, but also a thing. I literally struggle with as a business owner and creator. So for youth, you guys are business owners, self-promoters, industry disruptors in this world of this current day and age. How, how has our perspective changed from the beginning of creating a company LPN, which is we're on 2017 to now, like what exactly has changed? How do we stay vaguely relevant? Uh, which I would call us, uh, I, how would you say, um, any, it's like, how do we not completely sell out? Hmm. Well, I mean, the philosophy has always been to talk about and to make things that we think are good and things that we think we're passionate about. Cause once you start chasing relevance or anything like that, you're fucking lost. The moment you start chasing all that, you are absolutely lost. Like you can make stuff that is, you know, within, I guess the zeitgeist and you can kind of see like what people are doing. What people are making, but it always has to be like through your filter. The biggest difference between when we started this thing and how, and that's the thing is LPN started 2017, but LPN came from cave comedy radio, which was something basically a money front from an old corrupt business owner. But that was like 2010, you know, like that, that was like, I started that way, way, way back in like 2010 and I was actually talking to somebody about this on, on Friday is that even in like 2012. 2013, we were telling people like, there's too many podcasts, like you're never going to get noticed because there's already, there's too many podcasts. There's hundreds of them. Yeah. It's impossible. It's impossible. And that's the biggest difference between when we start even 2017, 2016. And now it's just the volume of podcasts. It's because now there are millions upon millions and there is harder than ever to work with our heads down. Like we used to be honest. That is the hardest part. I think. I think, of the current landscape is that it used to really be. which is still mostly my philosophy is that all innovation is born from a vacuum almost that like legitimately you have to bury yourself in the work. So fulfilled so fully that you are then just of the work. Oh, that was certainly my philosophy for forever. And that's my entire life. But the problem now is that when everybody's on your dick, right? Like everybody's doing the same level of content and have different levels of support and have different systems. So like then it's just more like on something we do struggle. I struggle with the idea of how do we make sure we're keeping our stuff different from everybody without me consuming everybody else's stuff. So it doesn't enter into my brain when I'm making my stuff. Yeah. Yeah. That's the hardest part because that's why I had to stop listening to all comedy podcasts because eventually I understand Rob Williams more than ever in a way because I don't really write. I don't write my material. I'm sorry to shock you. But I don't really write my comedic material. You don't write it out. You know, I get the way you said it made it sound like you have a writer hidden somewhere. Oh, my God. Morty Saperstein is a genius. He came up with so many different ways to say come. I love this guy. But no, I don't write my like when I come up with comedy bits, it's more like keywords and little phrases and stuff. But I I don't write my stuff down. Right. I don't write out jokes. And Rob Williams was kind of in that way in terms of. I don't write my stuff down. I'm improvising all day, all night. That's what I do. So on some level, if there are jokes floating around in the back of my head that I have watched another comedian do, it is not out of literally it's not out of evil. It's out of total desperation that I will literally just grab whatever's in the in the fucking quiver and throw it out. So that's why I don't listen to other comedy shows. So I have to figure out how to stay in my lane, which is it's a constant balancing act. I've never listened to a comedy podcast that I wasn't actively producing. Well, you don't got to. Well, you shouldn't. Yeah. No, no, no. I never I never did. And it only recently started, like, actually listening to podcast podcasts just because I'm driving so much here and here in L.A. But I've always taken the the the idea that it how you kind of stay fresh is you take influences from other mediums. Like, you know, you you when you like are making a story or like make like, for example, like on no dogs, like what we'll do is we'll if we're like when we did our replacement series, we were watching The Wire. And so we kind of would watch The Wire and use that medium as inspiration for like storytelling and how to, you know, tell a story with a whole bunch of different characters and a bunch of different things going on at once and then take inspiration from that or take inspiration from movies or from music or anything like that. And when all these inspirations and all these influences cross together, then you have something that's. It's kind of new. Yeah, that's fucking that's really nice. I am. You know, you guys know, I don't really listen to any podcasts. I don't even really listen to our podcast. It's it's not a podcast aren't for me, but I look it's weird because I came in here to like work with you guys on your thing. And I always felt like when I joined, my job was to support y'all as artists and make y'all shine the best way possible, because I come from the school of and this kind of happened by accident when I stopped. Wanting to be a cook for the rest of my life. I looked at not necessarily like the entertainment business, but I looked at comedy as a career. And so I do what I can to like be have as many hats as possible in this comedy business. And that's why now I'm trying to do all these other weird things. I'm doing stuff with musicians now. I'm trying to do this Disney thing now to just stay relevant and just keep, you know, keep my brain moving and doing as many things as I can. I always like to say I'm in the comedy business. I'm not in the entertainment business. I'm not trying to be a writer on a TV show, but I do want to be a comedian for the rest of my life. How do you feel about three years in three years into this? I love it. I hope the job never ends. You know, but, you know, I feel like be three years in now. I mean, if something, God forbid, did happen, I have a great thing on my resume and I feel like I would be able to get a job somewhere else if I had to. And I think that's a that's a beautiful thing. Like at the big fat man whorehouse. I don't know if they're hiring. Are you well at the big fat man whorehouse? I've always thought of myself as being in the entertainment business because that was what all I've ever really wanted to do is just to be in. Well, actually, all I ever really wanted to do was just radio, just being on radio. Like if I if I have my druthers, I'd be doing a drive time shift on an FM radio station, playing my own music, you know, five days a week. I mean, that's the fucking dream. That's the dream. There's no money in it. No, no, no. I would have to pay them. I mean, that's what I'd like to get back to. Like one of these days. But yeah, for me, like comedy was a total like it was an accident getting into comedy was a coincidence. I was just applying for writing jobs and the onion happened to be hiring people for onion radio news. So crazy. The onion was like your first job in New York. Yeah, yeah, it was. Yeah, I was working. Everyone's like life goal. You just fucking got it immediately. Well, it was because they were looking for a guy who knew how to do radio. And I was the only person who applied to this writing internship who had radio experience. Amazing. Yeah. So they brought me on. And yeah, that was 2006. And that's where I met some of the first people that, you know, got me into like the sort of comedy scene and that and it was just the only thing that I knew how to do was radio and the only people in entertainment in New York that I knew were all comedy. So I just had to go in that direction. And that's just the direction that brought me to this place here. Yeah, I always think like one thing I learned early on, and the greatest perk to doing this business and being in comedy is we always say it's fun. It's backstage pass to the world and, you know, everyone wants to meet you. Everyone wants to show you their fucking weed farm. Everybody wants to show you like all the cool stuff. They want to bring you backstage at the zoo. You know, it's always like the coolest shit in the world. And I think that I've seen things that I never thought I would see. I've been to war zones. I've been to Africa. You know, it's just comedy has done a lot for me and I'm never going to give up on it. It's pretty great. It can be not psychologically, but it can really be great. I would actually. I would actually like to speak to the idea of someone talking about, like, how to not sell out, because I will say the one thing that I'm going to toot or I'm going to toot my own horn and say that we have so far successfully navigated entirely selling out. And I think the reason why we've gotten to do that is because of you, because we had a mandate of a bunch of people listening to us that allowed us to make a bunch of very good decisions that kept keeps us above certain things, which is really nice. And these are the lessons I'm going to tell you right now, which is always own your IP. Never let any never sell it. Never sell your IP unless they're backing up the money truck. Right. But you never sell that IP. You hold on. You hold. What did you on my IP? Yeah, I do. Yeah. Own as much IP as possible. But I think the goal really is to you have to have certain fundamental non negotiables, which is we had to have creative control no matter what, at all times, at all times. Everything is under our every single choice we've made is our choice. Yeah, there are contractual business things that we have been forced to do then because of having to not sell out, but that's work. That's the difference. Why don't we let's say everything that we say is our choice, but everything we've had to do over the years, we've had to do some contractually obligated things. Certainly because then I do. But we love to do my favorite thing. That's the part of it. But it's like it's important to understand that. Like, I think a lot of times people look upon us as a giant. Like, it's funny because on one hand, I think some people view us as a giant, like corporate entertainment monolith. And then I think sometimes I look at all of us and I'm like, we are barely holding on by our fucking fingernails or three fucking morons. Just barely holding this together that are just trying to keep every like the hardest part is knowing that you're a stone fat idiot and you're looking at a wonderful employee that's trying to have a child and you want to take care of that person. And that fucking is just like you're like, oh, oh, no. So when you start, those are those are the things I would say affect some of our decision making in terms of the business choices that we have made. But creatively, that is the only thing that we can. That is not the only thing we can control, but is the main thing that we can control. And that's where we're going to do no matter what. And we've always the philosophy from the beginning is always, always, always been long term thinking and say never, never give up the short term for the long term. This has always been a long game from the very, very beginning. It's always been a long game. I'm a very patient man. There's so many people who've made millions upon millions upon millions of dollars that I see like comedians on the road just like struggling to get 100 people in the audience so they can make a couple grand to just pay their fucking rent. It's wild. Yeah. And so it's like keeping the job is the most important thing. Yeah, keeping the business and the job, keeping the audience and keeping the respect of the audience. That's the key is that so our jobs are to make sure we don't disappoint. So we are trying to not disappoint you. No, as much as humanly fucking possible in the audience. But we also got to do what we love. And I feel like that way to not disappoint the audience is to do what we love. If you only listen to the audience, that's when you get the newest Star Wars movies. Yeah. You know, and like, Because this is my fun opportunity to say I love all of you, but the audience is a complete incorrect i love you and it's not and it's not your fault you don't know what you want our jobs are to show you what you want that is our job so sometimes just understand we're doing it because we want to do it and that's how it's going to be you don't want it the other way we're not going to sit here and do we're not going to sit and be like well if we're all harry potter houses or some fucking horse i don't know what you fucking hear everybody's wrong i i would i would amend that a little bit it's not necessarily us showing them what they want it's us showing them what we want and what we think is good and seeing if they agree exactly and that and that and that's really all we can do because it's like disappointing the audience like yeah i know certain choices yeah we make them angry yeah you're definitely gonna disappoint the audience i would say it's more like the idea is like i don't want to let anybody down like that that's what i'm always thinking about i just i just don't want to let anybody down if neil young can't make reactor no one can make anything sure i um i every show i've led on the on the on last podcast has been something i've been passionate about always something i love and so i feel like if i tried to work on something that i hated it would be awful and you would be able to tell immediately immediately no it'd be it'd be the worst you'd sound bored you wouldn't have that like the chutzpah people feel passion they they feel authenticity it's a sixth sense uh that a lot of not everyone has it but most people do and i think our audience that absolutely has it yeah here's a little production question i you know i was saying none but this is interesting are there specific joke hook points what do you mean like when marcus works 100 like when you're writing like the goal is to feed you i know you're always talking about feed us meat but like how direct are the joke hit points yeah like hook points for me that that's it's uh sort of a producer brain that i have working because there are certain things that it's like i could see a joke coming from that i don't know what the joke is i don't know what the bit is but i could see it's sort of that idea of uh hanging out with your friends and and it's almost like um i mean i wouldn't call it a jukebox uh but it's you know if you're ever like like thinking like i wonder what my friend would say about that i wonder what my you know i wonder what they would think about that and it's just and but the thing is about is that you have to know the strengths of the people that you're working with you have to know what they're good at so if i'd you know see uh an opportunity for you to be able to do that i'd be a funny scenario a funny back and forth uh that can happen between the two of you or between any any of us because it's the things we don't know how it's going to happen before it happens uh and it's just setting it up for uh the possibility of it and if it doesn't if nobody picks it up that's totally like i move on uh there have been certain times like i've said something i was like no one's gonna no one's gonna comment on that like that's like we're just gonna move right back all right that's how it is occasionally you'll warn us too like that always helps me get my head in the right spot you know because sometimes i don't want to get in your way i don't want to get in henry's way you know because like you know i learned that in roundtable it's like you sometimes like you know there's so many people talking sometimes you if you got a joke in your head you got to let it go yeah and then you know i'll do what i can to try to find a way to like bring it back but not always you know it doesn't always work so i you know you just got to let a lot of shit go which always breaks you hot yeah it does but uh but i do like when you're like hey i need uh let me do some lyndon b johnson dick jokes yeah that helps yeah that that i only ask that when i know it's gonna be funny yeah when i know like i've got a good idea and i like and i know it's a good idea uh because you know you always know when it's like oh no this is this is gonna be great and people are gonna like that not to contradict what i just said uh a couple moments ago but i also like an assignment you know as much as like using like what i like what i'm into is like a big thing for all of us episode but i also like when someone's like do something on this because i can really bust it open once i have a directive and let's see what people want and that also like the the way that i do it it also keeps the show like fun and fresh for me as um like i'm almost an audience member because i want to see what y'all are capable of i want to see what you come up with and i'm excited every week be like i wonder what they're going to come up with this uh so yeah it keeps me coming back um and yeah it's really fun but you just but that's the other thing too is that you have to be with very talented people very funny people for that to work yeah what do you think your job would be if we didn't do this i mean i'd be in the restaurant business it's the only other thing i'm qualified to do i don't have a degree i don't even have an associate's degree i got a high school degree but you know i'm pigeonholed into cooking or comedy you know that's the only thing i have any experience in so i would be in restaurant management and i would probably be an alcoholic i don't know i i mean i you know i always said my backup plans were um either history teacher history professor or um because then it would be great because then i'd have more than a fucking uh week to to learn things yeah uh i could and to really like know them like i'm supposed to be some sort of fucking expert like i could really dig into it dig it deep and you know spend years with a subject which would be fucking incredible um or a funeral director um uh that was also another um really yeah that's a hard job well it was more like mortician like mortuary assistant yeah um i think you'd still be great at mortuary assistant i know a lot of cool people that are in the business too you know yeah but yeah mcferrin that that um does moderation work for us uh here uh they um i i helped them get through mortuary sciences school back you know when i first moved to to new york and i found it fascinating it was great it's just the hours are crazy you know you've always you know you've got to be called in at any time but i mean honestly if uh things didn't work out with us i probably would be a cog in series xm somewhere i always thought that um i'd be a good emt just because whenever you'd be a great emt oh yeah dude yeah whenever someone like slices their hand open at work or whatever i was always the guy fixing it and stuff like that immediately you know what's funny back to work natalie's like that and i think it comes from her mom being a nurse like she is like not to be she's just one of those it's like but when i got hurt she like snaps into action yeah you did a really good job what about you obviously um back at borders oh no it's closed oh fuck oh fuck you know like i will say yeah i'm not a podcaster but i still feel like i literally don't know what my other functions would you have to be an entertainer i don't know what my other functions would be as a human being i was a terrible employee i was a bad i was very good at all the stuff right i passed ib because i was good i can talk my way pretty much out of anything what's ib that's the it's a big i got into a very power it was a very like fancy uh educational program that i was in in high school okay so it's the international baccalaureate so like i did like i was like obviously very good at improv because i just made shit up to my teachers and they passed me and i was like i'm not a podcaster i'm not a podcaster i'm not a and then i was like but i had one of those like it was hard like i don't know what i was doing because i had so many real teachers that said to me you're not going to use this like you know they they would literally tell me you're not going to be doing math or science and it's like now i understand like that's semi-insulting but also they were right because they're like you have no and you're like not here you know and i'm like huh you know like because i wasn't there yeah yeah it's like when i would go back home and uh tell people like yeah you know yeah i moved to new york or la and they go like that makes sense it's like yeah we always figured you'd end up somewhere like that it's like oh thanks for telling me i never belonged yeah yeah yeah we always thought you were a little queer that's what it was going for i remember one time in high school because i was such a bad high school student as well but i like you know i did all the pep rallies i hosted all the stuff i was in drama yeah you were like me i was politically important yeah exactly yeah you know i won a bunch of awards oh yeah whenever the school needed to make a speech in front of a bunch of other schools i was the guy that called even though i didn't know how to read dude it's so funny dude i was like the face of the class i spoke at like all the graduation ceremonies i was one i was number 664 out of 666 students in my class i remember one time my english teacher who knew i was smart and but saw how little i have respect for school she told my mom to come to class and see how i showed up to class and that day i showed up worse than ever i showed up no books no pencils no shoes that's fucking amazing oh my god oh my fucking god just so frustrated to see you fucking just the primate i just i bullshit and manipulated my way through all of high school and and then ended up being valedictorian but just 12 people you know it was just 12 of us uh yeah and julie was right behind me but um yeah yeah definitely talked my way into that one um and then it just went on yeah went on from there because i also was fired from so many jobs worst worst fucking employee very bad employee yeah honestly i at this point maybe i'd be just you know one of those guys that just works the record store and plays in a band quite a bit just sort of you know counting out the years not really accomplishing much just going for it where was that the guy that we met the future you the old you we actually met the old in grand rapids yeah yeah The guy that ran, Captain Bizarro's, who's just like, man, you guys are fucking just so busy, man. I was just like, it's because you are so not busy, you might be dead. You might physically be dead. Everything you sell in the store is decades old. That's how little business you have. He was about to close the store for an hour to go get a chicken parm. I love him. I get it. I get it, man. We did it. No, but those are the people that keep our country fucking running. I love those people. I love them so much. Main, another, here's an easier question. Best food city we've performed in? Worst food city we've performed in? Worst, Charlotte. Yeah. Best, I guess Dallas was pretty bad food-wise also. You know what? No, I went to that soul food restaurant that was pretty fucking great. You know what blew my mind food-wise was when we did Rochester at Radio Social. Yes. Radio Social was the- Radio Social. Really put it out there for us. It was extremely good food. They gave us, what was it, duck legs? They gave us so much food, we couldn't even fucking deal with it. That place was fucking great. Oh, you know what was kind of the best meal of the whole tour? Marcus missed it, unfortunately, was Steiner Ranch. Oh, yeah. That was a religious experience. That was, I mean, well, we also, like, my buddies, the GM there, shout out Jason Bailey, but- Bailey! But he, like, they were opening bottles of wine that, like, I don't even know, like, stuff that my pal- My palate shouldn't have been allowed to eat it. I was so sick. You know, we were, like, ill the next day because I never eat so much fat. Yeah. And it was, like, it was unbelievable. And they were, like, describing, they have, like, they joke because that was, like, it's one of the most evil restaurants we could have gone to, too, because it's, like, Greg Abbott's favorite restaurant. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're surrounded by the worst of the worst. Pure evil, but, wow, they eat good. Yeah, we had our own patio. Yeah, it was pretty fucking great, dude. Cattleman's in Oklahoma City. That was awesome. That was awesome. Cattleman's was awesome. Yeah, because it tastes, it tastes like steak, like my Okie Papa used to make, and I never thought I'd taste steak like that again after he died. Also, remember that place, where did we go to, New York? The prime rib place that we went to. Down in the basement, yeah. Oh, my fucking God, what was that place called? That place was fucking awesome. I can't remember. Also, you remember that meal that we, me and Carolina had in Denver? That place that had all of the- The old meat. The old meat. The old style meat. Old style meat, yeah. It's all a bunch of weird meats, and it's really fucking good. I love that kind of shit. The desert real bad. Real bad food there. Well, that is because of the, we already talked- You're in the desert. Contact in the desert, that is by far the worst food I've had in any performance venue that I have ever been in. Humboldt has really bad food. Humboldt was specifically- But you don't expect them to have food. But that one place that we ate wasn't bad. That one place that we went to eat when we were in Palm Beach. Oh, you mean over at the- The other resort? Where we met the chef who worked there. Yeah, Tommy Bahama? The Tommy Bahama, it was fine. The chef is a listener. I don't like going to restaurants that are not good. They're known for their shirts. Yeah, you can't go to a shirt-based restaurant. And I love shirts. I love shirts, and you can't trust them. You are right, though. Charlotte is consistently, every time I've gone to Charlotte, is like, this is the worst meal I've had all year. Yeah. Every time. Charlotte, I had a pretty good sandwich, literally, so I can't really say it. I do believe that it was a pretty good sandwich. Dude, remember that sandwich in Urbana? Man, that was fucking good. That was special. We stopped at a place that made its own pork cutlet. Pork cutlet? Randomly. And that's just Ed's sandwich sense. That's just fat man spider sense. I can find a sandwich in any town. True. What is the name? I'm looking for this place in the world. And I will also admit, every time we go to London, the meat pies that I have there, I'm the happiest boy in the world. I, London, had great food. I don't know what everyone's talking about for all my life. It's changed. It's my favorite, because it's got my favorite things in the world. Meat pies and Indian food. And that's London. It is Fort Charles Prime Rib was the name of the place we went to in New York. Ah, Fort Charles. Yeah, okay. Four. Number four, Charles. Literally one of the best pieces of meat I've ever had. It's so funny, because they like the show. They're fans of the show, and they're like, usually, like, sometimes, they're like, oh, we'll take care of you. Come in. They're like, we'll let you have a reservation. And we're like, thank you. Thank you. And they gave us a dessert at the end. Someone actually asked you. Oh, and one more thing. The best Indian food meal I've had on the road was in Bristol. I had chicken vindaloo there. It was the hottest thing I've ever eaten in my life. I was down for two days after eating that. It was, fuck, it was incredible. I didn't, but I did not regret it. It was one of those times when the heat was absolutely worth the pain that I went through over the next two days. One of the single weirdest things I've ever eaten was in Manchester, where I accidentally, I was looking up all these things. I was looking up, kind of like, oh, what's the best in Curry Row? What's the best place to go? So I was like, oh, there's this new fusion place. It's Indian-Italian. And I got, it was Indian chicken parmesan. And it was American cheese on a fried piece of chicken with the korma sauce over it. And it tasted like cartoon throw-up, but not bad. You know what I mean? It didn't taste bad. It just was the weirdest single combination of flavors I've ever had. And when the UK gets into the fusion world, that's when they need to kind of roll back some of the efforts. Because I went to a couple other fusion places in the UK, and that's not really, I think in the UK, what I found, my favorite kinds of foods in the whole area are the stuff that's right down the street. Down the pipe. You're like, we're a pie shop, we do pies. Yep. We're a steakhouse, we do steaks. That was what my father always taught me, is like, if you go to a place and it's Jimmy Steaks, don't get the shrimp. Do not be a difficult person. The reason why they call it the other thing is they barely sell those other items. Someone actually asked here specifically, why British food, Marcus? It's in my DNA. Yeah, it is. I think it really is, because I didn't, I actually didn't know, because yeah, I've said it many times. Yeah, I did the 23andMe, and it's 86% British. Yeah. Bobby face. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's, I'm like British through and through, and I actually didn't know that. I just went to England, and every, when we went to England for the first time, it was the first time I'd ever left America. It was, it was 2016, October 2016, I believe. It was in the middle of Brexit, right before the election of Trump. But we were there, and everything that I ate was the most delicious thing I've ever had. I just, and I just loved it. There was something about it. I had an iron brew for the first time. I was like, this is the most delicious soda I've ever had. I had a meat pies. Like, why are not all meats baked in pies? I had fish and chips. It was like, why don't we do this constantly? Why is this not everywhere all the time? Why is, why did this great culinary tradition not carry through? Because we kicked them out of our fucking country for a goddamn reason. Woo! Woo! Woo! Someone else asked here, what would your last meals be? Last meal? Yeah, if you guys had to choose what your last meal was. All you can eat for a crawfish boil. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, yeah! Honestly, I'd probably have a big old chunk of Wagyu. Is this for when I'm being executed? Sure. If I'm being executed, I want a big old pile of Wagyu, so I fucking have so much runny-ass diarrhea that I have to scrape it off. Once I'm done caked, I'm fucking being electrified to death. That's a tough one, because I would, it's between two things. I would either go with a real nice lamb vindaloo, or maybe a lamb Rogan Josh. You love lamb. I love lamb. Or a steak and ale pie. That's a big steak and ale pie. I think the steak and ale pie, because the Rogan Josh might mess with my tummy a little bit. Okay. And I want to be comfortable when I die. I want to feel, like, nice and full, and a big, nice steak and ale pie, and iron brew, and some crispy chips. Okay. I like that. Oh, prong cocktail chips, I'd say. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, I just want all the fucking crawfish and shrimp I can eat. Yeah, you're a giant. When are we going to go to New Orleans? How have we not done New Orleans since I've been a part of the show? We'll go there, because New Orleans is a special place that I don't want to sully with work. I do really kind of feel like, and also I have found, with transparency, when we don't come to a place, it's because we don't sell a lot of tickets there. So normally, the reason why we didn't come to Vegas, kind of crack Vegas with side stories, which we're going to try again. Yeah, you've got to play to the locals. New Orleans, we always kind of struggle to sell tickets, because why in the living fuck would you see a live podcast in New Orleans? Yeah. Yeah. Go anywhere else. Go see jazz. Go to the, be in the city. We know we're the worst show. Yeah, dude, just literally walking the streets of New Orleans is more entertaining than I'll ever be in my life. Yeah, because I didn't get to go. I didn't get to New Orleans until I went without doing work. Yes. When we went for your birthday. Because every time, like, I had this kind of idea, like, I don't really like New Orleans that much. And the reason why I didn't like it is because every time I was going. You've been in a hotel room. I was in this city of fun and joy and debauchery, and I had to fucking work the entire time. Yeah. And it's horrible to be in a place like, it's horrible to be in New York or in New Orleans and have to work the entire time. I feel the same way about Miami. I really want. Well, Miami is. I want Miami. I want Miami to be a great town for comedy, and it just never will be. Nobody likes doing comedy in Miami. Everyone's naked in the street. Why would you fucking go inside? It is notorious for having the worst comedy audiences in the entire fucking country. Unfortunately, I will have to say right now, like, we did Miami once, and it is never going to happen again. No. Ever. I'll do it personally. We'll do Florida. We're going to do Florida again. No, Florida. Florida, yes. But Miami, that was, remember, that was the show where I was chugging Sudafed on, or chugging Dayquil on stage. Yeah. And I also remember that was the show, too. the tour where every show was solely sold out but miami yeah miami was miami and vegas yeah and miami vegas and uh atlantic city oh yeah those were i hope i never go to atlantic city again we oh we won't no we won't no we yeah we did uh caesars uh and it was half empty so it's like those places jersey oh yeah but i don't want to do atlantic city side stories might do jersey too so we might try it i would love that man we need to do more jersey jersey is one of the most densely populated states in america i don't know why we don't go there oh because we go to new york yeah i have one question just because i want to manifest this so badly um if we could get a pinball machine for the studio which franchise would it be based on we'd get the lord we'd get the lord of the rings pinball machine the one that was put out a few years ago uh the one that where you can actually go through every single level i've actually beaten it's the only pinball i've ever beaten and i actually was talking to carolina about this not two weeks ago i know don't she wants a pinball machine it's like our house cannot become a fucking fudruckers yeah we can put it in holden's studio or holden's room he doesn't need any more distractions yeah he'll use it and it'll be annoying yeah i would like um there was a i think i've seen this once uh maybe many years ago there's probably like one or two of them that exist but uh an adventures of ford fairlane uh pinball machine that's wonderful i've seen it when i was a kid and i've oh it's been uh that's my white whale that's amazing um all right what are you okay oh uh what are you what are your day-to-day work days like uh i work sunday to thursday um because it is um yeah because we record on thursday i used to work monday to friday but i was always useless on friday after you know the crunch that it takes to get the show uh every day out every week uh so yeah it ends on thursday um yeah sunday and yeah i work uh like half the time on no or it's it's like a little less than half on no dogs and then the rest on last podcast and it's just you know doing research research and then wednesday is writing the script uh the first draft of the script uh thursday morning i wake up i write the the second draft of the script immediately uh do the the third draft like do a third draft just like a read through at the end to fix any sort of like grammatical things or any sort of like stuff that just sounds awkward uh and then we go straight in and record and that's every single week yeah monday's just a lot of business for me it is a new correspondence i try to get stuff done my house we've been recording a lot of extra shows recently so a lot of that'll go into monday yeah tuesday side story stream we prep for side stories record do all the kind of stuff we kind of need to do either shoot promos do all kind of stuff during the day on tuesday uh then we do the stream then wednesdays is become you know we've been doing a lot of movie stories my main that used to be my main big old get ready for last podcast day which i normally still do but i try to sprinkle it throughout the week and then thursday i clear out to do last podcast and then friday i go to therapy and then uh everything else that falls into it right there yeah i um i i look at life right now as like there's always something to do uh there's never a moment when i'm like truly truly relaxed i mean i'm looking forward to our vacation uh that's coming up but the uh i you know it's always something to do and especially now that i've been doing my podcast i'm like i'm like i'm going to my own stand-up uh you know there's lots of like you know that's a lot harder to sell tickets to when it's not the big show obviously and so i gotta do a lot of promotion i gotta do social media which i fucking hate yes and then um then a lot of it is you know the road a lot of it's fucking sitting in airports yeah and then yeah and then i try to have a life and uh i don't i'm not the same as you guys you guys work all night sometimes you go home like you're always studying and shit like that i have to turn off oh yeah i turn off i turn off turn off too yeah yeah yeah but i i think i i need it more than both of you i don't know why but like because i feel like you guys my hobbies are more evil than yours that's what it is you actually this is your hobby also yes i am already ensconced in a lot of the topics already yeah yeah and and usually i i will like turn off at night it's just there are certain times like when a subject get when i fall in love with the subject uh for a brief period of time uh that's when it will be you know i i'm all day all night like i'm reading and watching and absorbing and because it's like i want there's something in my brain switches on and says you have to understand this like you have to try as hard as you can to understand everything you can about this and and that and that's fun and and relaxing for me but most of the time i do i switch off at around like six yeah when i feed the dogs yeah i traveling's the hardest but it's also my favorite and so it's a weird catch 22 i love being other places i hate the process of traveling yes yeah yeah so it's just been a lot of that lately and uh i i just uh you know music soothes the soul yeah um my next question where will be where will the world be in 20 years i mean either gone or thriving yeah that's a big 50 50 yeah actually i'm gonna i'll split the difference decaying decaying yeah i had no idea i don't look good i don't know yeah it's it's gonna be a lot more you know horrible weather events i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know maybe we'll figure something out to to turn shit around i don't i have no idea but it doesn't seem like we're turning things around man i just watched total recall and robocop in one day and i'm not i don't have a positive view on life at all yeah all that looks way more more realistic than anything else i really feel like the way humans work is there has been technically there has been way worse periods of time than now we are in a long time i used to say the 60s were worse but we're right in it we are in the least violent period of humanity ever that is true so we are in a there is a way forward so that's how i i think because of that fact there's a way forward i think because a lot of what we're dealing with is esoteric mixed with things that actually need we need help on and if we did have one pro-social trump-like figure that wanted wanted to go in and become like a new fdr style person which i think could very well happen considering the rise of the democratic socialist party and how much that's kind of gaining some traction and the idea that if there was one giant disruptor person that's really all american unfortunately that's how america kind of works in a way yeah for us we can kind of get back on the right track if we have one guy that i'm sorry i'm saying man we have one person that can come in an almost dictatorial style fashion and set everything back right and then we can kind of get back on the right track and then we can kind of get back on the right track and then we can kind of get back on the right track and fix it and go and put all the epa stuff back in all this kind of stuff and then i just think that humankind is almost cursed with an adaptability yeah and i think that we will be surprised how much we will live and thrive through and that it actually takes quite a bit to destroy us i know but i'm looking at it man i'm watching everyone get dumber i'm watching every one of my friends get no everybody's everybody's really you are correct we are as a society at a time when we're at a time when we're really low stock because i do believe everybody is dumber and angrier than they've ever been to have to remember shit but i also think that we're gonna see there is going to be pendulum there is always pendulum swings yeah no matter what so i think we're already seeing the younger generation the younger generation is ready to crucify sam altman the like literally like the the alphas the youngest generations understand what's going on zoomers are going to have to hit that wall you're all going to hit the same wall that we all hit right you all everybody has a big old fucking gigantic awakening when you hit 40 years old i'm sorry zoomers unfortunately have a really hard road ahead of them you're you're about you're screaming towards a lot of problems but i do think that it's again it's social i think the big things are going to come that are going to destroy a lot of stuff or weather yeah no i mean i think the weather is the thing that is going to really fuck some shit up yeah yeah that that to me is what makes me not so um optimistic about the next like 20 50 years because we're way past the point of doing anything like we passed the point like years ago so we're we're we're way past the point of doing anything about it it's just something i have to not think about the because you can't because if you start thinking about it's the the existential uh terror of all of it because it's things that we are in the least violent like on a macro on a micro level like yeah personally we're not killing each other anymore we're not shooting each other you know it's not as violent as it was but the problems that we have ahead of us are existential and the more uh ai centers take our water take our land and and and they're going to cause us all to die of uh dehydration uh and and stupidity and stupidity but i also think you'd be surprised i think we're gonna be surprised at we're just not gonna die right no these things are all gonna happen and humans are still going to be alive you're gonna live the last 20 years of your life in a fucking hospital bed but that's not necessarily the case i'm not gonna die i'm not gonna die i'm not gonna really true i do uh it's not even i actually view it it's not really optimism i think it's a part of the human uh it's how we work society i think that we're going to survive in anything just like how zoomers are going to hit a wall our society's gonna it hits walls so we're going to there will be a point when the environment we're gonna have to lose a city and then everyone's gonna be like oh we need to change everything yeah we'll lose miami i think that is what probably two cities we I mentioned earlier. Honestly, we'll lose New Orleans first. but we're gonna lose a city that is what's gonna happen and that's gonna everyone's gonna be like oh wow this is actually real this isn't fake this isn't and i think that the more esoteric things become real we will then be we'll be interesting to see how we then respond because i think then there will be big changes and then yeah sure a lot of the damage will have been done but you'll be surprised how we can continue to live yeah and that it is very possible then if we almost in an accelerationist way in my mind if if this is what we're doing let's fucking get to that fucking burnout point already then if you let's see what you do then let's see they're in control right now the bad guys are completely in charge yeah and we are seeing how they run things so if you like it you can go vote for more of it if you want yeah or you can look and realize that we are drowning we're not drowning we're suffocating the world we're suffocating the world yeah the world will be there long after human beings oh yeah the earth is great going nowhere the earth is fine is like no matter how much we fucked it up we'll die off and a million years will go by and it'll fucking heal and everything will be fine you know but i the thing i had an existential crisis the other day just thinking about all the garbage i've created personally yeah i think about that and just like i've made think about that garbage that would fill up like 10 of these buildings at least i think that minimum i think that once a week it really fucks with me now that i'm 40 and i just keep taking these giant bags out and every week and i'm just like i've made a lot of this yeah you know and like and i know and i try to keep it conservative and i know what i've made is insane so the amount of trash that's on this world is uh terrifying to me which is why we have to build a giant nuclear reactor on moon where we can burn all the trash thank you what i what i actually don't think it's a bad idea what i hope is that we are going towards a like a sort of star trek storyline because you know in the star trek storyline you know it's this is around the time in the star trek history that shit just completely falls apart that starts falling apart i think like world war three happens in 2026 uh in the star trek universe like and we're past the bell riots and all that because it's this is around the time that american society specifically starts just completely falling apart there's a world war there's a nuclear war and then you know humanity sort of rises from the ashes uh again uh when you know warp is created and so on and so forth but that's but i also notice i look at star trek because you know star trek the technology is so simple you know it's like these pads and it's just words stuff but it's just pads and words and you know there's not a lot of surveillance is it i am watching it now and i'm thinking like we are starting to see how harmful having a fucking entertainment box in our pocket everywhere we go this like dopamine box how harmful it is how horrible it is and i could see a future where we have to say like we can't have this like we can't have we can't have these things anymore because it's just humanity can't we will entertain ourselves to death if you can at every point smart you don't no longer need to have the phone anymore and i feel like that's a part of what that is going to happen i do believe the the my i do believe we're going to head into a form of highly technological luddite world oh very much so there's going to be like a mixture of the two where people themselves will not be necessarily engaging with technology 24 7 but but technology will be around them that will be available that they can use that has all of these capabilities like why would you need a phone if technically you can send an email from a refrigerator yeah you know what i was just thinking you know what it is where we're at right now remember that old joke if i could suck my own dick i'd never leave the house yeah that's what humanity's doing right now right now we're all sucking our own we're all sucking our own dick constantly and that's why nothing feels good and everything's kind of like vaguely unsatisfying yeah we're in a we're in the novelty zone and i think with the novelty zone is going to it brings about a lot of stuff so i i again it's not optimism i feel like we're just like chained to our fate of survival yeah and there's really no we're gonna that's the the issue is that we're not gonna die the issue is that we're gonna live yeah and then we have to keep going and so that's the that's gonna be and then it's gonna we have to take it from there um i guess we could i mean we're pretty close here do uh do one more do one more um so when it's just how flat is henry's ass really i actually have some meat there now but i have to stop it because i was doing squats we had some really really awesome guests on the show the past couple years who's like your dream guests on the podcast dead or alive man you know my dream guest used to be robert england and now and now we hit it so now i got a lot of people gotta think of a new one give me a second um you guys go first elrond hubbard always dead or alive dead or alive elrond hubbard is the only person in all of last podcast all of the people that we've covered that i still honestly think would be the funnest guy like i think that elrond if you were like unlike all the other ones i think alistair crowley would have been a bore i think anton lave was a fucking kind of a schmuck all these other kind of things i think elrond would have been hilarious manson yeah oh yeah oh yeah you want to talk to him dude man right like interviewing manson it it's like riding a bull like it would be like the the interview equivalent of riding a bull like sometimes i understand that sometimes like a conscious little manson pops through in those interviews like if you could find like the angle and find the way for him to try it like to like if you make him feel safe and make him feel like he can be like vulnerable with you it's it's that that's interviewing manson yeah it's riding the bull of interviews and if you could get it if you could get him to get into like specifics and keep him from going off into philosophy and keep him from going off into anything that's like way out out there where he's just talking about i'm just a man who's being a you know a martyr you know like if you get him to talk specifics then you have something great because he is an inner entertaining person yeah and i just love to i'd love i would have loved to have looked into manson's eyes maybe oppenheimer weird because of his regrets and stuff like that and it's just fucking who knows what that man really knew like like the wealth of knowledge that was just inside of his fucking head not dan marino i i've talked to dan marino oh wow i don't want to really guys now i'm not trying to drop me emmy when did you talk to dan marino when i was a child oh i was a child i talked to dan marino it's been many years did he sign your isotoners you know he signed a a piece of loose leaf paper i had wow hey mr mr marino i had that same experience uh when i was uh 14 with rob zombie yeah i was visiting my aunt here in los angeles and we were at universal studios and he was there planning that year's halloween horror nights and we passed by him and i just said like i think i think it was right at the time white zombie was my favorite yeah yeah i think that was rob zombie and my aunt's like go fucking chase him down and so i ran back and chased desley hey mr zombie mr zombie which is a great thing to call somebody it really was yeah and he was getting into a limo and i was like can i have your autograph and he's like yeah and i was like i don't have any paper and he goes parking attendant go to the parking attendant and so like i sat and waited for me at his limo while i ran to the parking attendant and was like sir can i have a piece of paper and a pen and he gave it to me i ran back and he sounded like you know rob zombie there you go kid that's all he got sweet it was he was extraordinarily sweet to a 14 year old fan that would been in 97 or something like that you know i'd want to talk to but it wouldn't be good for the show just like for my own personal i'd love to like sit down and have a nice long like dinner with steven van zandt yeah that's my boy yeah that would be fun that's my boy i fucking love him i think that would be nothing would make me happy oh if it had nothing to do with the show i think the person i would want to just sit and have a conversation with would be uh i'm trying to like first things in my mind like is a somebody like uh william friedkin oh man william friedkin be so much fun i'm in the middle of the william free or i just finished the william friedkin chapter in uh easy and raging bulls yeah god what a dick yeah he's funny no he's very funny but holy shit yeah fascinating man especially now following paul verhoeven paul verhoeven's completely insane i love how fucking insane he is i love him so much um and i i'm trying to think is there anything else here what's your favorite snack favorite snack um deli meat just like sliced turkey ham work on the salt cherries oh wow i just said i'll just sit and eat like cherry season is wonderful for me and you know it's only half the year but i'll just sit and eat just cherries after cherries i spit the pits out i i actually get a highball glass and i put the the stems in the peg yeah no that's good for you that's right cherries are great oh also peel any shrimp i mean if i could eat peel and shrimp all day man i wouldn't stop dude i'll be pink we're doing fucking flamingos now my favorite snack is hard-boiled eggs i'm not even joking i know it's true i eat we'll talk about it you're gonna see it on This week's side stories, but yeah, I eat a lot of hard-boiled eggs. Oh, yeah. Well, this has been nice, guys. What is it with you and Carolina? There's these things that the two of you share. I love eggs. You're both hard-boiled. This morning, she ate four hard-boiled eggs for breakfast. That's what I eat for breakfast. Yeah. Eggs. Where's my eggs? Eggs, eggs, eggs. I was just thinking, because Jackie would have been so good in that part. Yeah. It would have been amazing. And playing flamingos. Jackie really was like, she didn't really appreciate it when we were all watching it together, and I was explaining to Jeff, being like, this is who Jackie's supposed to really be. Yes. You are wrong. You've ruined her life. She's supposed to be Edith Massey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you think she's supposed to be Edith Massey, or specifically the egg lady? The egg lady. The egg lady. He's ruining that for us. Yeah. So, hail Satan, and this has been wonderful, and we love your curiosity. Yeah. Hal Gein, thank you so much for listening and for being cool. Yeah. Hail little Steven. I love you, buddy. Love you, little Stevie. I think the new teeth look great. The old teeth were fine, but the new ones. Wow. Crystalline. I would love to eat with your mouth. I would love to use his teeth as plates. And I want to say thanks to little Stevie for giving Linny K a DJ job, because I love Linny K's show on Little Steven's Underground Garage. I don't know if he hires anybody there anymore. I don't know, but I love Linny K. It's coming up. We have the electric proof. 1968. Honestly, if I were to play- I have too much to do. Dream last night, let's go. You know, at least that's a good song. I hate when Underground Garage, quote unquote, plays nothing but Rolling Stones and the Beatles. It's annoying. It's not underground. That's why you got to listen to Linny K's show. It's the nighttime show. Yeah, he actually picks the songs, probably. Yeah. Okay for him. Yeah, Linny K. Oh, man, I used to always see him at the record fairs and record stores in New York, but I never got the- I never had the chutzpah to go up and say hi. Yeah, well, you know, you don't want to meet musicians most of the time. I saw Little Steven once, and I was actually listening to Little Steven's Underground Garage while I saw him walking his dog, and I didn't say hi, and it haunts me to this day. It should. Yeah. We'll have to find him. Yeah, we'll see what I can do. Bye, Little Stevie. See you later, all you cool cats.