Speaker 1Shut up, and sit down. Welcome to Being On Stage, the only podcast that gives you motivation, inspiration, and confidence to be better on stage. No matter how you entertain, sing, dance, band, comedian, public speaking, MC, drag, burlesque, performance art, or street performer, this is the show for you. Hey Rockstars, Reggie Dawson here, your host of the Being On Stage podcast. Thanks for tuning in, and as always, welcome back. This episode is kind of inspired by Halloween. It's not a Halloween episode, per se. We're not going to be talking about crazy, creepy, scary crap. We're still going to be talking about performing, but the premise behind the episode is kind of inspired by Halloween. That's kind of why it's called, you know, Removing the Mask. I want to talk a little bit about starting out as a performer and that growth process that we go through. So, you know, when you're first starting out as an entertainer, anything that you do on stage, it really doesn't matter what you're doing on stage. This podcast kind of covers it all. It covers just the performance in general. So when you're just starting out, you step in front of the crowd the first couple of times, you know, you're uneasy, you're a little nervous, you're not really sure how it's going to go over. As you start to grow, and as you start to develop, and as you get out there more. Because, you know, the only way you're going to get better is to keep doing it. So the more you get out there, the more you grow, the easier it gets. And then you start to realize, you know what, people like me. Like, I have an impact on people. And, you know, thus establishes your fan base. And when you finally have that realization that, holy cow, I have fans, it can be quite an intense feeling, you know. For me, it happened intrepid. I was in traffic one day, and the town where I perform, it was kind of like a house name, if you will. And I'm in traffic one night, it's probably like 6 p.m. or whatever, and I don't even remember the day of the week. I just remember I was actually in my mother's car. I'm at a red light in the turning lane, and a car pulls up next to me. All of a sudden, I hear, like, my name. Reggie! Just like that. Oh my god, it's Reggie. I turn, and there's. There's this car full of girls. And this is not like some, like, hey, ladies. It wasn't anything like that. But there was a group of girls that were apparently fans, knew who I was, recognized me from my shows and everything, and proceeded to tell me that they loved me, you know. Reggie! We love you! Like, that kind of thing. And it's. It's. In that moment, I had mixed feelings. A mixture of what the hell is going on, combined with this is pretty cool. Like, you know, to have that what the hell and this is awesome feeling combined is. It's incredible. So that's kind of the moment that I realized that I was establishing a fan base. And I had, you know, people that looked forward to seeing me perform, and people that knew who I was and liked what I did and followed me. Not. Not. I mean, I don't think anyone actually followed me around, like, stalked me, but, you know, followed me on social media. And this was when social media was still kind of, like, in its baby stages. Like, it was like baby Facebook. But yeah, so that was when my realization of, I have fans. Like, that's kind of when it hit me, and that was really it. My girlfriend today, actually, she always jokes around because when we first got together, I was still really heavy into the bar scene, really heavy. And I still did a lot of performing, like, pretty regularly, like, almost weekly. And so we could not go anywhere. I mean, we couldn't go to Walmart. We couldn't go to Burger King. We couldn't go to the pet store. We couldn't go anywhere without someone recognizing me. We couldn't go anywhere. I was recognized everywhere we went, locally only. Like, it's not like I went to Orlando and got, you know, a flood of people coming at me, you know. But it was just locally. And it was not. It wasn't crazy. It wasn't anything crazy. It was just everywhere we went, it was like, hey, Reggie, I saw you perform. Like, it didn't matter where we went. It was. There was always someone somewhere that at some point saw me perform. Anyways, the point is, though, is when you reach that point, it can feel incredible. Like, what you. Everything that you've worked for and everything that you have put into your art, your literal blood and sweat and tears, probably. You know, you've probably hurt yourself a couple of times trying new things. You know, you've failed a couple of times. You've been rejected. You've been laughed at. You've been made fun of. You've been bullied. All these things have happened to you. And when you finally have that realization that people like me, people accept me, people think I'm incredible, people are entertained by me, people look forward to being around me and seeing me. When you finally have that happen, it is an incredible, incredible feeling. So, one thing that happened to me when that happened is I started to develop an ego. That big thing that nobody wants to talk about, but everybody has an experience with their ego at some point or another. And for me, it happened over time. You know, the first couple of years, it was still. I tried to maintain my humility and everything. And it's really hard to maintain your humility. Like, you really have to work at it. As more and more people start to like you and follow you and tell you how great you are, it's very easy to adapt those feelings about yourself. I'm amazing. I'm fantastic. I'm great. And then you start to feel like you're untouchable. Then you start to feel like you're on top of the world and nothing is going to tear you down. And that is kind of where I'm getting at in today's episode. That's kind of where all this has been leading up to is that moment when you start to feel that way. When you start to feel that way about yourself. When that ego comes into play. Let me tell you what happens. First, you feel really good about yourself. Okay? And then you start to reject other people's ideas, other people's input. You start to have expectations of other people. And worst of all, of your audience. Like, I've seen it to the point of I've seen people walk off stage because the audience didn't react the way they felt they should. That is low of the low, man. That is absolutely low. You cannot control your audience's response. You can only control what you put out. Okay? Keep that in mind. You cannot control their response. Okay? But this ego comes into play and then you have these expectations of other people. Like, you expect people to do things for you. You expect people to get things for you. You expect people to want your audience. You expect people to want something from you. You just expect to be recognized. And you always walk around like you got this, like, I don't know. Like, you got a stank in your, permanent stank up your nose. I don't know what it is. But I've been there. I was there. Like, legitimately, 100%. I was there. I had that ego problem. I had to get that, I had to get my ego in check at some point. And it took me a long time. And what happened is. Because when I felt so good about myself to the point of rejecting other people's ideas and other people's feedback, I eventually got to the point where I felt like, I don't need to rehearse today. I'm Reggie B. Coxworthy. I don't need to rehearse. I got this. Then that starts to happen. You start to feel like you can skip rehearsal. Like, you don't need to work on something as much because everybody loves me. I'm a rock star. I'm a superstar. I'm a rock star. And you get to that point where you feel so proud of yourself that you forget to continue your growth. And that's where this episode is. That's really what I want to get to when I talk about removing the mask. So that ego and those feelings and that puffed up chest and that puffed up, just like, well, it's an ego. It's cockiness. It's not even confidence. It's beyond confidence. It's way beyond. It's like over, over, over confidence. But that right there is the mask that you have to remove if you're going to continue growing. Because that is exactly what happened to me. You know, I got to the point where I had that big ego. I stopped rehearsing. I do like a little thing here and there, maybe once or twice a week. I, you know, 10 minutes here, 20 minutes there, half hour. I'd never spend an hour over and over and over working on something. I stopped. Like, I didn't need to anymore. I was awesome. People loved me. I had my fan following. They're going to love me no matter what. And let me tell you, it's 100% false. If you are at that point where you're feeling like no one can touch you, everybody loves you. You can do no wrong and you can step on that stage and people are just going to fawn over you. If you're at that point where you feel like you don't have to rehearse because you got this and they love you, it is easily lost. You've got to take that mask off to keep growing. You have got to, it's almost like having beer goggles on or something. If you're going to keep growing as an artist and if you don't want that. feeling to go away, you have to suppress it. You have to suppress the ego. You have to attach yourself to humility. You have to remain humble. Remove the mask to let in the feedback, to let in the critics, to let in the compliments, to let in the comments, and overall keep growing. Because if we're not growing, we're not doing anything. We're going to die. If we're not growing, we're dying. Plain and simple. Think about a flower. If a flower's not growing, it's dying. You're that flower. If you're not growing, you're dying. That ego is going to keep you from growing. That feeling of, I can do no wrong. That feeling of, I don't need to rehearse. That feeling of, I got this. That feeling is going to crush everything that you have worked so hard on. Think about all the hard work you did in the beginning. Think about in the beginning when you had all the naysayers and people picking on you and lack of believers. Think about that moment when you decided to keep going. You need to relive that moment every single day. That ego, that persona that you developed that's overconfident and cocky and just an a-hole, that person is your costume. That is your mask. That is not the real you. That you worked hard to become. Take off the mask. Remove the costume. Let in the feedback. Let in the growth and the improvement. Yes, it's hard. Yes, you're going to struggle. But I'm telling you, you have to remain humble. You have got to keep yourself in check and recognize and realize that you have got steps that you still need to take. You are not the end-all be-all of this profession. And if you can't continue to grow, you will cease to shine, my friend. And I want you to shine. I want you to shine so freaking bright on that stage every time you get out there. Listen, I have a group of performers that are on Facebook altogether. I get in there. I do videos. I share things. It's just started Motivational Monday, sharing songs that really get me going and get me feeling it. I get in there. I do videos. I share things. It's just started Motivational Monday, sharing songs that really get me feeling it and ready to go. And if you want to be a part of that group and you want to hang out and mastermind with us, you can get there by going to beingonstage.com slash group. You can also go to Facebook and search The Being On Stage Group. I try to keep it simple so that it's easy. Listen, keep moving forward. We have to keep growing. Performing arts, it's not an easy field to be in. It's not an easy field to stay in. And it's really hard to keep yourself in touch. So I need you to promise me. I need everybody to promise me. And if you want to actually promise me and you need to be held accountable, send me an email, Reggie, at beingonstage.com. I need you to promise me that you will stay open to growth. I need you to promise me that you're not going to get overconfident. I need you to promise me that no matter how good you feel you are and how much you got this, you will still rehearse. Keep on shining.
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