Episode 67: How To Get Over A Poor Performance Or Loss

What is the crack everyone back with another episode of the podcast for I'm on the road. And so I'm going to have a topic on this one. I know I'm going to talk about it as opposed to just rambling. As the last time we did a Q&A and I got a couple questions and time for that. I was just going to give an update today. I'm going to talk about a bit of a mindset question. I'm nowhere to share a platform qualified to talk about mindset or how to improve mentality around things or not a support psychologist, but I'm just going to talk about how I even proved my own mindset around poor performances that can get over the last years. And if anyone checks anything away from this that would be fantastic. And I'm just going to share what I have done over the years that has improved my ways of dealing with playing bad or having a bad loss, making mistakes and games. And I think it's fairly generic information or very generic advice. So it's not so specific. I'm like, and I'm well aware that just because this worked for me doesn't mean that it's going to work for anyone else. Just before I get into the podcast now I have set up on fans up. So it's a Gala Games predictor app to free app free to use you predict the scores of games and championship coming up over a couple of weeks. And there's going to be winners per week base how many points you get and we have to get the team right. I can get how much to win by the more points you get. And again, the year is going to be a big prize. And over the course of the week. So it's going to be random give away. So just say on round four, there's going to be a random give away. So whoever wins that week. So you can join on week four. And if you win week four, you can get a prize. So again, there's no down side of joining later on the year because there'll be spot prizes. And then we're going to get some most points across the year. So the fact that it's called fans up and the coach to join my league is Ross for Sam. So all the work is letters or OS F or S a N. Join my league there and we can have a bit of crack and we would predict the scores, bring the games over the years. So just get that in now before I go in to the podcast. So there the last weekend, we got another win in our league. And we had hard rock festival just one of those days. And I didn't have the best performance. I didn't have the best camera paid my life. And I too sure I had a bit of a stinker. And I've been saying I'm playing well and moving well. And I was just one of those days that I had a little bit of brain fog or just my mental clarity wasn't there. And I was making small mistakes. And the pitch itself wasn't fantastic, but I'm not using that as an excuse for poor performance. I know what I was doing wrong. I dropped three balls short in the first half. Balls were balanced off my chest because I wasn't thinking right. I had called America my head before the ball actually came in. And I was making kind of mistakes that I haven't made in a while. And after the game, I was really knowing for about 10 or 15 minutes. At my own performance and just the way the game went that we could have we could have won a lot more confidence. We still got to win. We still got the W. We still got two points. And that's the main thing, which obviously looking at my own performance. It's the worst game of the day. So far this year. And I still got two points that I got a free and I go on from play. But I had a scoring opportunities now. I had two free's. I were quite tough. I probably want to go out on a good day. But still I should have came way there from with at least five points minimum from all the opportunities that I had. And I was looking back on it. If when I was younger, if I had made a mistake in the game, I would put my head down. I would have been out of the game no matter how I spent beforehand. If I just say I missed a 13 year at free because I had, when I was younger, I was terrible that for a 13 year at free, I wouldn't do it any technique at all. I just kicked the ball. And sometimes I could put a wide or drop even drop it short for 13 years because I wouldn't be focusing on how I was doing. Whereas I could scored three or four points from way out the pitch outside the day. Lowly free kick start from play. But because I had assumed a 13 year free was a give me. I take my eye off it. I just wouldn't kick it as I would any other time. I dropped it short. After that thing, I would be, I'd be able to game completely. If I had a head or a drum, a confidence would be gone. And I couldn't understand why I didn't go over. Now I'm talking about when you're a 16-17, you're really young. And you're just a bit naive and immature anyway. So I just, I kind of took it from branches that it was a 13 year at free. I didn't check a couple of seconds. I settled down. Do my normal technique and make sure I get the ball over the bar. But then I would be out of the game. I got to copy a case that scored next month, beforehand, really well. But the whole rest of the game, all I'm thinking about is that miss. And after the game, all I'm thinking about is that miss. And I'm not even acknowledging the stuff I've done well. All I can think about is the negative. And all I can think about is how poor that miss was. And I can eat me for a couple of days. I remember that there was a time in a school game. I would have been in Leven's Earth. So it was on my first year on the minor panel. And we had a school game. And the minor man was at the game. And like that, a ball came across me across the balls. And I kind of, it was a snapshot. I didn't, again, didn't focus. I tried to kick it as quick as a class because I called it as a ball, as to settle myself down. And I put a wide from inside of 13. And all I could think about for the rest of the game was, "Oh, you want to get dropped now?" Because your man seemed to me, the minor, minor, senior missed that. And how shy to my, and all these, like terribly negative talks. Even though if I just took a second to realize that the reason you missed that was because, "A, you weren't looking at the ball, you were looking at the balls." And, "B, you tried to kick it as quick as you possibly could." As opposed to just taking a split second to slow down and think about what you're doing. And hindsight is obviously fantastic. Look back on, and again, there's numerous scenarios like that. That's not just a one-z off. I happened a lot of times. That's just a one-z-n-erial where I made my second. When I'm young, you're not able to kind of acknowledge that. And the game kind of passed me by then. I didn't do anything for the rest of the game. Whereas if I just cracked that there, acknowledge what I did wrong, was able to see what I did wrong. I can forget about it, move on. I just, in there, the last game, now I dropped one ball short. I kind of slipped and I was kicking the first one. So I wasn't too annoyed. I didn't make sure we followed two. Now, on the next one, same thing happened. And again, I made sure I got my footing right. But I didn't follow through the shot. I took my head up too quickly. I didn't look at the ball. I didn't follow through. And I dropped short. And then I missed another one then off my left. On another day, I'm very confident that I they would have entered over. But like I did that, instead of putting my head down, what I did, different this time was, I just kept doing what I normally would do. I kept making the runs. I kept looking for the ball. And then the next time then, the ball came in free, I was kind of a bit giddy at the back. Because I wanted to take the mark to make up. I wanted to make sure I got my point. But before I caught the ball, I already had my hand up in the air. I was taking my mark and my head before I caught the ball. So when the ball came to me then, the ball bounced off my chest and then it even catch it. Again, I was just making these silly mistakes that I normally wouldn't make. And I could just be a kiss coming down to my preparation in the game. Why wasn't I thinking clearly, why would I do it, definitely build up to this game as opposed to the other games. So again, as opposed to getting annoyed about the whole situation, saying, "Oh, that was a bad ball in." Or, "Oh, why am I playing so shy, or what's going on?" I'm trying to find the root cause of these problems now. And acknowledging that this mistakes were made. I made mistakes with why am I making it. What can I do now? This week and next week or this game and the next game to ensure that I don't let that happen again. And sometimes you have days when you're just having an off day. And there's no real rhyme or reason why it happens. Or it could be a combination of them that loads of small little things that are changed. You change your weekly change or whatever happened to you the day before the game. Things out of your control, you change or whatever you have to do. And all these little things add up. And you're just out of routine, which means that you're just not focused or whatever the case may be. So I have to figure out now what I don't know or not going wrong. Because again, I'm not doing anything wrong. I don't want to worry about it differently as we might perform as not the as good as it could have been. And it wasn't just a complete off day or not. I'm looking at this everything I'm doing now. So go back to the form and say things. I was annoyed for 10 or 15 minutes. And then I kind of realize it right. Okay. Burn following true in the ball when you're kicking it there. That's why they drop short your three steps ahead yourself for your car to ball. That's why I bounced off. And the three kicks you miss to be fair right there are probably ones you wouldn't be scored when you're on forms. And we're not worried about those ones. But the shooting ones are ones that I always as a corner forward wouldn't the ball turn and pop it over. That's what I've been doing really well. It's so fair this year. So I was annoyed at the execution of the shot. I don't think it was a case that the shot wasn't on. It was a hundred percent on. Now that people coming off the shoulder. But at the time, I think the point where I'm going to address is good as anything. And if I scored it, no one would have said, oh, you should have passed me coming off the shoulder. But when you miss, obviously, you'd be able to say you should have passed later on the game. I took that on board because when I missed two or three shots, it wasn't a case that I didn't want to take to take the shot on. It was right. You've tried it three times now. It hasn't worked yet. Win the ball and give it off someone from off the shoulder who's in as good as position as you were. Did that and got someone got a point off straight away. So I kept making the runs. I won the ball. I said, I turned and shooting myself. I gave it off to a man off the shoulder. He popped over the bar. And that was kind of it helped me get that comments back in the against again. So making the good ones. People are still passing me the ball, which again, there's nothing worse than when if you're a little bit uncomfortable in yourself and your teammates can sense that. And true, obviously, it happens over time. If you're someone like that, it puts the head down if they make a mistake and you're making the runs for the ball and you're trying so hard to make up for the mistake you made. That the ball is bouncing off you then. And then you're then you're more annoyed about that. I go, well, I'm trying hard. I'm trying so hard to win this ball. I'm going to run here. I'm going to catch it. I'm going to turn my mind. I'm going to give it to me solo. And I'm going to do X, Y and Z before even catches. And by the time the ball comes to you, the defender could come in and get a hand under your drop ball. You're a fumble because you're overtinking the whole situation. And I have done that so many times now as young or so. Now I'm not the stage that I can blanket or not blanket. I can park it there. I can try and realize what I've done wrong. I can park it there. I move on to the next ball. I win in the next ball. That's the phrase that I say to myself consistently is next ball. Win the next ball. Win the next ball. And if it's a case that is just not happening. It's not your day. The shoot crew sent down everyone to college. We're still making those runs. We're still going to win the ball and we're still calling for what we're just going to give it off. If your team makes sense that you're not confident in yourself and it's not just happening at the ball isn't consistently not coming off and they stop passing. Yeah, that's going to be really kicking the jake. And you're going to really, you know, because I really hang our confidence. Or the end of the day the team comes first. You have to kind of sometimes put your own ego and your own selfishness to decide as they're right. Whether they keep passing the ball and I keep losing it and I keep putting the ball wide. Why would they keep passing it to me? Whereas if you're shooting and you're consistently putting a wide to get annoyed at you and that's fine because if it happens once look at your trying your best happens twice. Okay, it wasn't the right option. It happens three times to kind of have to say to yourself right today's probably not going to be my day on the shooting board. I'm still going to win the ball as a corner forward. That's my job. And then I'm going to give it off to someone else who's going to put it over the bar. So again, as a young player, I would have made those mistakes trying to outdo or trying to make up for mistakes that I made. And like if I missed a free either completely go out of the game or try extra hard to make stuff happen. That's not on in the first place, which is making my own confidence worse. And those times before and again, the guy I'm talking about when I'm in my early 20s where I'd be home and not talked anymore for an hour or two and so look in the bed and you know, I'll be really tickered everyone. And it didn't get me anywhere like I'd be pissed off, but a mistake I made or a game we lost and I want to talk to anyone who you lose your local rivals. And I hope we bury your head in the sand. Whereas if you realize that as a team, if you can pinpoint what went wrong was that the kickouts was at the movement in the forwards was a bit feel was a break of balls was a defense. If you can say right here are areas that we need to improve on before the next day. As opposed to everyone played shouting on Tuesday or they're going to run the show out of us now because we'll play bad and kind of your dread and go to stand next day. Think to yourself, what can I do to improve my game from the last day, what can we do as a forward or defense and what can we do as a whole team. So obviously loads of moving parts to a team performance. And if you're a team that's full back, I quite can be collect be all drew in those little different groups and the defense is a whole field is a whole for a lot of some of the ways we can look at where where can we improve together. And when we all come together, then where could the team make improvements process across the year. As opposed against it's so it's easy to say this now and retrospect and looking back on important. If you're after coming off the pop performance of the weekend or your team lost and everyone's given out to each other and no one's getting anywhere and you have a team meeting and everyone is playing and everyone else. And I was like, "Times it just takes one person to own up to something." And I said, "Look, look, look, I was a mile off at the last day. I was a mile off your man. I know I was a mile off from court. I was a mile off because I was covering someone over here." And then someone else like, "Oh, yeah, I didn't realize I was so a fair off for a man." And I was talking to her, I ran up the pitch trying to get a score and I didn't track back. And that's why we were left to open up. If one person owns up to a mistake they made, it's a lot easier for everyone else to kind of see why they're a bit wrong and not be getting ticked. Whereas, if a wingback was up the pitch and chairs up the pitch, you'd go for a goal and miss it. And then their wing forward gets on the break and gets a score. And then it's very easy to point the finger and say, "Why won't you track back and everything?" Or is it going to be as simple as just a little bit of communication and staying right? Nick has gone running up the pitch there now, but when he goes up there, he lets the wing forward. "No, I'm going up here. Will you cover back if the ball breaks down?" As opposed to not saying anything and standing on the goal as it stands underneath the wing forward trying to cover two men and or if I can realize where his other fellow is, that sometimes it's a little bit of communication as all this needed to solve these problems. And a little bit off, but going a little bit off, but point there about how to get over our loss or about our performance. But also as well, which is something that worked for me. I just sports like college years and I always keep this in mind myself. It's a really, really good chip that I found work well for me. It was rating your trainings out of chain and rating your own performance and trainings and games and being honest with yourself. So if this happens to train, you're in a small-sided game or backstab fours and like, "Oh, three or four lights." But how is your performance in the warm-up? What are you like in the first drill? What are you like in the second drill? What are you like in the runs? There's so many different factors in training or even in games. If it's a case you do miss a shot at the end of the game and that's all you can think about. That shot you lost the game and you missed a good chance. You put a one-of-a-game score that's you think you've lost the game for your team. But if you go through your whole performance from minute zero to minute six, you're a minute seven, then you want to, if there are any intercounty players that are listening to this, which are highly doubtful. But anyway, if you go through the whole game from minute to not to the end of the game, how would you rate yourself out of ten from there? So it could be the first half. You'd be a really good first half. You won five or six balls in front of your man. You let it off a couple of times. You might have got one or two scores. You might have got five or two twice. You've got two free centers. There's two scores. You won two brick and balls. You're just obsessed with whatever you have. You had to go game the first half, second half, then. Okay, I felt like I was getting a fit or this week as opposed to the last game. My defender was really tired and he wasn't able to keep up with me. And I go, "How good were you?" A perfect, that one-spit second of a game where you might have missed a shot or the defender, as if you were a defender, a forward turned around and got a goal off it. Was it just a really good piece of play? Like, "What was your full position?" Was it just a little bit off balance? He turned J. "You were committed to making a block. He did a Jimmy Solo and scored off it." And that's all you can think about is a split second across an hour long game or wherever long the game is or at a time and ever. If you can go through it and be honest with yourself in the way that be honest with the good things you did as well. There's some people out there who've never ever taught, they've ever played a bad game in their life which is the opposite end of the spectrum that no matter how bad they might perceive to play by everyone else, they still think that they had a great game and everyone else made all the mistakes and did it not the wrong. And these are the type of players that have a bag full of excuses, but they never feel bad after playing the poor game because they have loads of excuses. They're comfortable to so high that there was no way I had a bad game. So you have to be realistic with yourself then as well. Like if it was my stuff last week I might cry, "Okay, my shoot was off last week. I missed three shots and I normally would have scored." So I know that it just wasn't happening for me. Whereas I could have blamed the ground, I could have blamed my boots, I could have blamed the wing, whatever I could have blamed. And I would have done it when I was younger and I still felt shit about myself. I would have felt no better blaming the pitch in the ground as I would do if I blamed everyone else. Now a little bit older now and I realized I understand why I missed no shots up, was a strike in the ball through, I wasn't following through it, my technique was off. So I understand why I missed the mistakes. Now I'd write that down, I'd jot down in my head, sometimes I used to write down physically. Other times he's writing my phone and other times then I just mentally journal it and give myself a read and know what a 10 for each game. And sometimes you can do it with a harsh run yourself then you might think, "If you just say, "I want to give myself probably a four or five out." And the last day for someone else, my senior could come in another way but again that's just where I ran myself. Again there's a line between being extremely harsh on yourself and holding yourself to a high standard. And sometimes I might blur those lines and believe I'm capable more of than what my ability is able to do. And I think there's, I know myself, but I can achieve and I know how high I can form on a given day. And over the years I realized that my ability level and what I think I can do are a little bit off. There was times I thought I was able to do more than I can do and I could take scores out from positions that realistically I'm probably not just good enough to do it. And again that comes a time, it comes a maturity and I think sometimes it's tough to admit that to yourself as well. And I'm not saying this is not everyone can do it and I know if I sit down and I put the work in I could definitely make those scores. And maybe my focus was elsewhere for a while. Maybe I was focusing more on the gym, maybe I was focusing more on work, maybe I was focusing more on making videos. Whatever the case would be, maybe I just didn't give that thing a little bit more or as much time as I needed. So again there was times there where my ability level and what I thought I was capable of doing didn't match up. So I think you have to be a little bit realistic with yourself while you're rating your own performance then as well. Is it a case that you're missed these shots and you're really annoyed yourself to go I should have scored that. But the shot that you think you should have scored is an outside of the boot outside of the 45 on the sideline shot. I can definitely score those where you might if it were one of those in your life and about four or five years ago you don't consist of me to do it. That's not a shot that you should be rating yourself poorly on. That's a one and a million shot for some people and someone else for very few, very, very few people. That's one that they're going to score consistently. If it's a case you're inside the 21 around the G in the scoring zone and you have an 80% success rate and train or 90% success rate and train in our higher. And you missed one of those shots that you as I should be scoring that one out that was a poor miss. That's completely different than I took a side in the game and I missed it. That was a poor chance I missed that one that's going down the bad books. That's a rating off me to be realistic with yourself. Like Jesus right. Okay. That was a tough shot probably should have taken it on. So there's maybe a point off me there for my shot selection, but not a point taken off that I showed a score. And that's why I said, I've learned the lines for a while that I was rating myself poorly. But I was trying things that I wasn't just capable of doing at that time, but there have been a performance enough, whether I wasn't practicing my shooting enough. Or what again, one of those off days that I was trying stuff that I just wasn't in my ability to do when I started playing. And also then you're not doing the opposite side that you blame and everything else that cry from yourself. Again, sometimes as I said there, your ego can take a bruise and it's hard to admit that sometimes you're just not as good as you think you are or as you once swear or if your focus is elsewhere like it's, but as I've mentioned before, on underage levels, I will score the loads and loads. I'm talking like silly score lines because we were paying division of three underage. The highest quality of football and you could be coming away from games like four goals and seven points or five, six or two, nine or you know, these mental mental. So there's one game I scored six goals and three points in a game. So like as you go, obviously you're not going to have an adult level or that we kind of have that in the back. I used to score loads when I was younger. You know, it was a year I scored like 45 goals and 60 something points a year because I used to track everything after games and I'll write it down. I remember I kept a journal for one year. That was between playing under 16 minor junior counties. School River was and I wrote down after every game what I scored the game and it was something like I got over 200 points combined across all the beige levels and everything. Like 45 goals and 68 points or some project just like that. I was playing well for when I'm 26 looking back on what I didn't know it was 16 and I wasn't paying as much at that time as well. I was playing a game every weekend if not two or three games a week between under 16 school probably playing on two or three school teams. Fine or then June or then County, you know, just those are two or three games every weekend and then you're training as well and you're able to recover and you're kicking for I was taking freeze at that time. I was going way more taking freeze check and penalties were playing the game plan was giving me the ball at that stage as well. So I was getting on as a choice much ball then as I would do now we're paying 11 aside on a narrow pitch. So less players on the pitch as well. So it was loads of varying factors in that as to why I scored so much those games and growing up and stuff. We always played 13 aside or 11 aside within play 15 aside because there's a lower division that is to have the numbers in our team. So there's loads of different factors there as to why that didn't translate over for me and it's so obvious now look back on an 90's, say this 2020 is like right. Well, obviously you're not going to do that when you're paying against me and you're 17 and you're paying against players. You're paying for 10 years. Obviously you're not going to score 4, 7 off a full man when you're 17 and you're light as a 70 kilo soak and wish. It's not going to work like that. Again, it takes a little bit of maturity to realize that and admit that to yourself because you're the easiest person to fool. And sometimes some people ever have missed that they're not as good as the ones where or those you always hear that I would have to count if I wasn't for this or I was good as this person or that person. And I was that person for a long time as well. Even the time I got dropped the minor pound second year. I made all the excuses in the world of injured. I was their preferred players in different clubs and the Olympic because I'm from St. Ronans and it took me quite a few years to come to the acceptance that I just wasn't good enough. And it's a tough one to check and I'm not saying everyone has to go out and say, oh, I'm not good enough. That's why I'm not playing. And I would never say that look, I didn't explore all of these. I wasn't training right. I wasn't eating right. I was down in college at Stuygo. I was back in St. Chris and chocolate bars and drinking up all the smoke and going out once a week or maybe twice a week and hiding it from the managers and you know, there's all these things right. No, I wasn't doing what was required of a minor footballer at the time or county footballer everyone's called minor county footballer. And then when I got dropped because other lads where do you know this work? I blamed everything else other than what I had done wrong. If I never kind of came out of realization, I still remember the fact that I got the dose pick against the North gloves in Oshkarmam. They always picked the challenge teams and the only thing to him because he's this person of that person. Whereas the reason I wasn't picked was I wasn't good enough. Simple as that. And you know, it's a tough one to say to yourself. But I've grown more as a player and as a not to be too share grown or as a person when you realize that right. I had a lot of work to do and I still have a lot of work to do if I want to get where I want to be. And even the time on the underdogs as well, I had gone through this mindset shift that look, I don't ever think I could have done. So I know the time of the underdogs. I did as much as I could have done trying to make out of the time county parallel, which was reached at the time. And look, if anything, I was training too much and that's why I'm a performance was more because I was doing too much of the stuff as opposed to taking more rest days. But I don't ever think I was eating right. I was training right. I probably would do a little bit too much volume, but there was a little bit of a side point. And I was on the underdogs and I was doing everything and just I still wasn't considered. So that was my realization that I wasn't going to offer to be in a senior anti-county for more. But I knew the second time I was called underdogs, the second chance to do that, that I would at least I gave up my best shot. And I had no excuse. I couldn't blame anyone else. I couldn't blame management. I couldn't blame teammates. I couldn't blame my poor pitch. I gave it all and I just wasn't putting off. That's fine. I tried my best. Whereas the time on the miners, I didn't try my best. I was using excuses. I was blaming this. I was blaming that. And I wasn't doing the work myself. That was required. And so at least coming underdogs, I gave it a say. I gave it a go. And I was able to look back on that and say, well, I did everything I could. And I didn't get picked. That's fine. Look, I'm not meant to be what I tried my best. I was 24, going on 25. I did that. And I think that if you're still haven't been anywhere around the counter panel at the end of your early 20s, 23, 24, 25. If you haven't played minor, if you haven't played on the 20 walls, 120s, if you're if you're if your account has a junior team, when you have been involved in any of those by the age of 25, it is going to be a little bit more difficult, if not extremely difficult to get called into account panel at that stage. Because the average age of intercontemplarist now is getting younger and younger. And it's a lot of college players now have the best lifestyle available to play at an account because they have the least commitment. So they're college, I stood in there, perhaps a time to spend cigarettes and I'm not making this up. This is going by statistics, going by talk into people that they have the most time available that the summer's off or training and playing games. So the average age is getting younger. And if you're haven't been involved under my, I'm sorry, 120s or three walls are having a lot of minor's at all. Like if you're still trying to get out of account balance that stage is going to be extremely difficult and it might just be a case of why this can I do and maybe it's a great maybe it's just not not meant to be to be involved for sure because obviously every player was a monster player for account. So only so many positions on a panel and every year the past is by a new crop of minor players are old enough to play senior. So then there's more odds what they're fighting up against then as you might say, I'm sure how many people are tired each year. But you know, you're trying to say that there's always going to be a new crop of players. And again, if you're again, another year old and you're not involved to have more pressure than if you're just saying 10 minor players going through who've paid 120 and minor level. And there only going 1920 and you're 2526 and you haven't played anything. You know, like it. Well, what would you pick as a manager? So again, we're going to sit north there, but that was kind of realization of acceptance that not always going to be what you wanted to be and to be able to just mature. Surely analyze yourself. Right. Wasn't a good day for that day. Maybe just not good enough to play that position. Maybe it's not good enough to check on those scores. I'm going to do the best I can to improve that. So again, as I was in there, I've done making a dog that but I didn't stop it in down to the car. I will never pay for Paul again. As I'm looking at myself, where do I need to make improvements that one of the reasons why I wouldn't have made it? You know, why wasn't I called into the panel? Right. There's weak areas that I need to improve on. I'm going to improve and go from myself because I want to be as best players I possibly can be to help to talk. And I went back to my home club the year after during the underdogs. I'm back to St. Lawrence. I was with St. Mary's character challenge and finished up with those after finishing up with the underdogs as well. Not to happen to what they was getting my game. No, I've said it before. I said again that if I had stood on my place would have been gone because there was an absolute crop of action monsters coming through from minor that would have taken my position with two hands and left me to the side. So I was looking at sense that I just so happen to leave the time I did because I would have lost my space and it would have looked like I came back home then after getting there to have again drop. Whereas my last game for the mirrors was a senior champion. So I finally started in the semi-finals, starting to win forward. That was the last senior game of the day. I played two junior games and I wasn't in the first 15 of the two second team games the following year. My heart wasn't in it. I was at a can of sand that I wasn't going to half-ass pain for a team. But if I wasn't interested in right. I was asked to go back to San Juan's and start the year. I said no, I wanted to give care of the goals and thought I was wondering something there a little bit still that I want to play in the higher level as one point for who you're paying for. I thought I was the case either. I wanted to go back home and I kind of had a maturity realization that the enjoyment of football is with the club and once my friends at home the last to go up. I made that change then and I wasn't going half-ass the way through playing on the club because there's not fair in anyone. If you get annoyed at me I'd be getting annoyed at them. If they were going to annoy me. So I was just a new one. I was trying to call it after that. I'm trying to go home. That's where I started really enjoying my football again. But then like that, not taking an ending. That's another mistake I made when I came back home was my first game back after coming back to San Juan. I kicked seven points from playing. Then I thought it was going to be a kick. I was the opposite guy as I mentioned earlier the overconfident guy. This is going to be easy and then like a couple of games go by you don't play as good as a guy. But you're like I kicked seven points the last time. I'm well able to score from here and everywhere. So I've been the missing. I've been the cocking confident guy. I've been the guy who puts his head down and missed the shot and I'm still learning. That's the thing the main thing to take away from this is everyone is still learning. No one knows at all. There's no magic one size fits all answer to everyone's problems. I wish there was if there was we'd have very simple and very easy lives. But you might listen to this thing because actually nothing here. You said perhaps me you're talking out your ears and I've wasted a half of my life. Listen to you talk to you. And that's the case and apologize for this near time. But if your listening to this like there's one thing I can do journaling. Maybe I'm going to start doing that. I'm going to go to the minutes of the game see what I did right. See what I did wrong. Why you went wrong. I'd be really with yourself. Why is it what wrong. That's something that really kind of brought me back down to earth and not making excuses for poor performances on other people or on different things. It's down to yourself and you can only hold yourself accountable for your own performance. It's exteriors days where you know if you're a corner forward you don't get a sniff of a ball because you're against a really really good corner back. And you're going to have a jail like that where you are you're against a really good player no matter what one you make. He always get to hand in or is really quick or standing you up and you just cannot get going. There are days there's going to be players who are really good and that's what's challenging as a player. You're not going to walk through every single game. Winning every single ball comes in to kick and seven or eight points. You know you want to be challenged. That's what that sort of proves as a player. That's what it proves as a person is getting these challenges. I've seen how you're going to overcome this part. Well, she's I never had someone do that to me before how am I going to get past this guy and try and check a mind this possess me. Let's see how we're going to get around them. It's going to be. Checking on those individual players not to get knocked some two. Center back against the center for even a bit feel you're like, right, this is a new type of pair. I have come up against four years six foot six. And he's really athletic. How am I going to go against this? I'm going to stop it. But the idea of to the whole game is you're trying to find a way to stop him playing and let them work on your strength. So that's the really important thing about being like it's easy to say when you've kind of got that good minds. I wouldn't say I have a good mindset for any stretch to match nation. What is definitely improved for what I used to be. Like it's energy. But as to when I used to be poor. I'm saying it's the best started. I know I can't make one off me right. Okay. Why did you win them? Different than like so down coming into or was it a he got in their head because it's quicker. So you need to put my body more across his. Do I need to. You think of all these different ways as to how to best play for you in your position. And obviously the main goal is to make sure the team wins and the team plays as well as possible. And if you have individual goals for yourself, I mentioned four. I want to get four points again. I haven't done that my last two games. Now, I'm still trying to make sure I get the opportunity. So as I mentioned earlier, so I'm still getting those opportunities. I don't think there was ones there that were outside of my capabilities. Perhaps two free. That's what I'm saying. Six definite scores. The other two free is probably just outside of my capabilities at the moment. So I could have came way there were six points. And the previous game before that I had a couple more opportunities to score and I didn't. So again, at least I know I'm happy in the sense that I make the opportunities to score, but I'm not taking them. So there's an area that I'm currently working on is making is working on my shooting, making sure I'm taking those opportunities when they come in for an other role. But look. This. And she said as well. And if anyone has taken it from this and I think Jeff, me journaling is one thing I think everyone should do just to see what you've done right or wrong in a game. If you read with yourself with good things and the bad things, bottom improvements you can make or someone got the better of you and for you, but the better or someone else because there could be something you don't know the game. If you. You don't write it down afterwards. I got a number in the first half and I did that to me, so whatever I personally do. Now, having your book, having your phone. If you ever go back and look at, oh, there we played, you know, our neighbors are last week. We won't be a point. I scored three points and I give myself an eight out of 10. I said, remember that game. I was going to just reinforce that positive mindset of cheesy tremor. What I did. How well I played that's it. Why. How did every day. What can I do to ensure that I could do that as best I can and how did I feel that they want to do that week. I was just bringing back that one separate memory. So you're kind of bringing yourself into that mindset of, geez, I was flying out of there. I felt like going for church men that particular day. I kind of reinforced that positive mindset of I can do this. A campaign really well. I didn't know I wasn't trying any mentor shots that jickered it. I was just doing the simple things really well. That's something that worked really well for me was the journal and ask the government right down what scores were in the game right down where I scored and give myself a red note of 10 and not been too harsh myself. And not also nothing too unrealistic and saying I was out of 10 out of 10. That was the best game. Anyone has ever played ever. Obviously, there's no such thing as perfection. When you're company is always there, you can prove on. So again, just be real on it. Don't be too harsh yourself. If you made one mistake or you're left advance or goal a mystical chance that doesn't automatically give you a zero return. Another 59 rest of the game you have to look at to help you improve and see where you can make the say what takes me to see what you did right. But look at I leave it there. Just to finish off there now as well. If anyone is interested in in season gym plans. I have set gym plans on my website. These are set plans based around the G a club gym. So there's no mental equipment. He's in it. Only is a bit of space. Bare beds, dogas, medicine balls. Things that will be in every club gym in Ireland. Or if you're interested in tailored and really specific plan for you and your goals, I might just be trained hard to prepare to have your own bits of home or for in a bigger space, in a bigger gym. You might get more complex exercise in there. Tommy message and Instagram are going to email me at [email protected]. Or if you want to check out the set plans on my website, which would be a lower price point, a link for those below. And thank you very much for listening and hope you all have a good one and hopefully someone at least finish the know I talked a lot of shit there, but I'll chat you again. And again, another one on the road again, next week.