Episode 665: Florida Files - Pain in the Everglades

There's no place to escape to, this is the last talk, on the left. That's one of the cannonballs I'm starting. Lord Lord Lord Oh my Lord Lord Lord Lord Lord Lord Lord Lord I just want to say today, give us the strength the podcast. Oh Lord, please give us your blessings today Lord. Try to make podcasting easier. Try to make podcasting more, find more for feeling Lord. Fill it all, fill it with sounds, look fill it with ads Lord. Fill it all Lord, please do our self-rate on this, on this here episode Lord. Lord Lord, please give us our self-rate Lord. I feel the retention rates going for Lord. Oh, we'll be sticky enough for Lord. Oh, pray Lord, pray Lord, we keep up to the final quadrant Lord. Yeah, man, I wish I could play a big ol' organ right now. Oh yeah, welcome to the last podcast on the left ladies and gentlemen. My name is Marcus Parks. I'm in with God's right hand man. Henry's a brasket. But I'm going to stab him in the back for a piece of silver. Yes, I am revealed to be a Judas. Oh yes, I trick God, I try act like I'd be his best friend. And then I took the fish and then I fucking sold him to the Italians. I had the balls, it's stab him in the front. Honestly, I tell you what I never even believed that Jesus was a son of God. I just thought he was full of fucking shit. If you look at the cross, have they took him off? Yeah. And the man who is in charge today, it's Ed Larson. Yeah. Lord, protect Ed Larson. Lord, let Ed Larson's lead episode be successful and be comparable to his other very successful episodes. I got a good feeling about this one because today we're talking about pain. Good. In the Everglades. Oh, yes. Have you got a cramp? What happened to you? Jesus. Immediately. I got a cramp. You got a cramp? Wait, you're whole body? No, maybe a second. It's a water? What's your mouth here? Does he cramp? Doesn't look like it's from your spirit? Is this God attacking you? No, my body's tired. My body is tired. I don't like that scene in the Stingwish gentleman where the man says he has a cramp and he has a heart attack and dies at it. Slip him. Slip him. Slip him. - No, no, no. - Arm. - Oh, up. - M-A-R-M. - Back to regular schedule programming. Yes, there's pain in the studio, there's pain in the Everglades. Today, we're going down South, baby. I hope you're ready. Have you guys ever been to the Everglades? - No, no. - It's crazy to me. You would love it, actually. - Yeah, you think so? - It's like the only thing that I think you would like about South Florida. - Okay, yeah, yeah, right. Is it just because it's a beautiful? - It is gorgeous. - All right, you know, I'm a big nature guy. - There's lots of, you know, it's great, the Mitsuki tribe is very cool down there. - Sure. - There's lots of great airboat rides you can go on. It's a beautiful time. The sun sets, probably the best in the world, comparable. - I'm extremely frightened of it. - Oh, you should be. - And I mostly have been in Miami. - Yes. - But that's largely concrete in Maduels. - I went to the Everglades with your sister. You fucker. - What, you know, you went out because you were there at the time for the Super Bowl. - Yes, yeah, we went during the Super Bowl. I got this shirt and we went airboat riding. It was a lot of fun in Everglades National Park. - But you lived. - I lived very well because I didn't get off the fucking boat. So what if I told you that there was a place where alligators and crocodiles coexisted in peace? - I'd say nice cope, you fucking, you cuck. - I thought you'd probably say something to the effect of. - I didn't realize that they couldn't coexist in the first place. - I actually had no idea. - Well, they can't. They're basically the Crips in the Bloods, okay? Remember the 1992 Watts Truce where the red and blue, they came together to stop the violence after the LA riots? - Yeah. - They had sent me in a negotiate. - Yes. - Well, this place is like that except with alligators and crocodiles. I'm talking about the Florida Bukin Everglades. God, I love the Everglades. I grew up down there, but the lake behind my house, the water was fed in from the Everglades. I was just filled with water moccasins and gators. It was fucking really cool. I mean, it's a great place to be. - Now, I understand, growing up in the, like you grew up in the Florida Everglades, which are extremely dangerous. I grew up in West Texas, which is also very dangerous. - Yeah. - You know, plenty of rattlesnakes everywhere. - Lots of rattlesnakes in the Everglades. - Yeah, yeah. - I would say you definitely, you have the danger over me. - Oh, yes. We got all of these other animals and plus the people. - Yeah, I also grew up in the Italian-American streets of Queens, New York City, and I did deal with the organized crime and stick ball. - Gators in the sewers. - Gators in the sewers, gators on my feet because I was given shoes by the local mobster. (laughing) Now, I know, Crimson Bloods, weird way to introduce the topic. But the Everglades are a weird place. Covering 1.5 million acres of wetland for some marine habitats. The Everglades are a great place to escape reality, taking a perfect purple sunset over the sawgrass, and hide someone you just murdered. Whenever flow chair boat, you know what I'm saying? - I like to hide bodies to the people I murdered. (laughing) - That's right, Henry. Let's say you murder someone and let's pick a random city Cincinnati. - Great, great. - Well, we just were. - Yeah, we just were. - I got family there, you know? So what you're gonna wanna do with that pesky old corpses, you gotta hop on the I-75 South. Keep on driving, go, go, go, go, go. You hit the swamp, no muscle fuss. - Can I also give a bit of advice? - Yeah, sure. - Use a circular saw to cut around the joints, right? First, you're gonna wanna cuddle the meat around the joints and then you're gonna use a little or knife to actually work your way into the joint of the knee on both sides, you're gonna wanna take that off. You're gonna wanna take the arms off at the shoulder. You're also probably gonna wanna take the head off at the neck, that's gonna require a bigger saw 'cause you're gonna wanna get to the meat and you get to the bone itself. And you're gonna chop into the little spinal cord thing and then you're slowly gonna work the head back and forth until it pops off. I would then wrap those pieces in tarp, put that in a giant cooler, then drive that to the ever glades and then feed them piece by piece. - Now, we're gonna get to it a little bit and I'm gonna tell you why you're wrong and you're working too hard. Working way too hard, work smarter, not harder. - St. Gott, he's not. (laughing) - You know, it is another example. Maybe you're a local South Floridian, a Dore beach bro dude named Randy, red face to drive and drunk home from a Flanagan's. - Wow. - Like many Randy's do seven nights a week. - Oh yeah. - You know, never knew a sober Randy. - Not one. - By the way, when you visit Flanagan's, they got phenomenal wings. The ribs ain't nothing to turn your nose up at either and don't sleep on those dolphins fingers. Mm, mm, mm, they let you keep the cup. - Also Flanagan's, that's a big KC Anthony spot. - Oh, I bet. - Yeah. - She do really well in a Flanagan. - She does do very well in a Flanagan's. - Do you know which one she goes to? - I don't know, but it's a regular. I mean, she's welcomed that KC Anthony is welcome at Flanagan. - They don't give a fuck what you've done in Flanagan's. - I'm pretty certain I've got a lot of messages that KC Anthony has like a mean girl group that sort of runs. I wanna say it's the Flanagan's a Fort Lauderdale. - There's a couple in Fort Lauderdale. - Yeah, and so she runs like a mean girl clip that has to like, people like, she's like taken over the scene. Like you have to be in with KC Anthony to get a good table at Flanagan's. - Anyway, so you can even Flanagan's. You're swerving and scooting, listening to Buffett's A1A album. It's fucking kicking, you know, all right? You pull into your gated community out west, just pass 441, you wave hello to the stoner gate guy. - Yeah, you turn left while tearing up to a pirate looks at 40 and you clip a teenager on a scooter, boopsie doodles. - Thanks for clipping me, now I don't have to go to home school. - Yeah, and he's screaming, he recognizes you, he says. - Brandy, did you do this? I'm gonna tell everyone you're gonna spend the rest of your life in prison, Randy. - Yeah, so you grab a handful of Bermuda grass and you just tram it down this throat. You pinch his nose till he stops moving. And all you hear is the chorus of Green Tree frogs while you realize your life has changed forever. - It could happen to anyone. - That's a Buffett story. - There's so many scooter boys around. - Mm-hmm. - See what you're gonna let? - I thought you were a scooter man, the scooter adults. - What you're gonna wanna do in this situation is you're gonna wanna throw a ball cap on them, stick them in the passage you see, take the carpool lane south, swing a ride on all US 41, 8K, 8 alligator alley, ride that bitch till the radio stops working no must no fuss. And shit, Miller's Ails House is open 'til Tuesday. So you got some time to get some zingers at a night camp. - You were there earlier. - 'Cause you're pretty sure. - Like you bartender Stephanie is working tonight. - You gotta harass her anyway. - You blocked more restaurants and bars than we have talked about dangers of the Everglades so far. (laughing) - Everglades saved the day again. - Over 175 unsolved murders. - My God, and is that 175 just? - Just bodies they've found? - Murdered bodies. - Murdered bodies they've found. - Yeah, plenty of people go there to just commit suicide. - Okay, go or just get lost and die. - Sure, yeah, but these are murders that they know are murders and they have no idea who did 'em because they left the body in the Everglades. - Is there ever been a case of somebody so terminally ill that they would just lay down and wait for an anaconda to take them? - There's no anacondas in the Everglades. Just pythons and bokeh instructors and those are relatively new. - Interesting, yeah. - I'm sure they'll show up one day though. - Yeah. - We do have nile crocodiles now though. So that's good. - Hey, well. - Wow. - Yes. - I guess the state and Florida's in the, they're in the actually in the state of denial. - Woo! - Man, look at this. You're taking my role today. - Yeah. - That's really nice. I like that. You've moved the words around. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's great. - I just told that joke from a sticker. - Listen, you ain't findin' nobody dumped in the glades. This area is perfect for making bodies disappear thanks to a number of environmental factors. First off, there's the terrain. This thing spans 4,300 square miles and is visually repetitive. Marsh, sawgrass, swamp, repeat. - And what do we learn from the police detective that worked on the Rex Hurrimon case that I thought was really interesting? - What? - That one of the, one detail that they notice more than anything when it comes to serial killers or organized crime members hiding bodies is that one key is no bends in the road and no off ramps. You need a clear view all the way down. Like, you need an empty with it. You can go down and has a hidden area which is what the Everglades is perfect for. - Alligator Alley, particularly. There's no gas station. - Yeah. - It's like three hours. - Yeah, and you see the ideas that you wanna be able to look at miles down the road in either way before you could see somebody coming. - Oh, that's a serial killer's preferred spot. - Yeah, also in the middle of the Everglades with the sawgrass and everything, these conditions make bodies really hard to spot from an aircraft, which means rescue teams need to use air boats and waiting crews and to quote the great Kimberly Sweet Brown Wilkins ain't nobody got time for that. - No. - I mean, they pay them, but it's awful work. - It's awful work. - No, no, no. I think a lot of times they're actually volunteers. - Oh, wow. - Yeah, if there's a disaster or something like that. - I would not count on volunteers to find me. I'd really want professional guys. - I don't think you get to choose. (laughing) - Can I put that in my living room? - You have money. (laughing) - You need me. - People need me. - People got to find me, I had to change people. - You know what? I could really see that being your last words. - Please, I had to change people on the comedian. - Three words. I have money. - Hey. - And then. (laughing) - No. - I'm sorry, it's not liquid. - So here's why your cooler thing is so unnecessary, Henry. There's also the water itself. The warm fresh water of the Everglades provides an environment for bacteria to thrive, which helps accelerate the rate of decomposition. There's a whole scientific explanation with this, with lots of big words, but to summarize, if the Crocs and Gators don't eat your body, your body will eat itself. And the water will help you become human soup. - Cool. - Yeah. - The word slough is definitely gonna apply here quite a bit. - Oh yeah. - Yeah. When the slough gets thick, the slough gets goo. (laughing) - And the bodies that just don't decompose faster down there, they also decompose differently. See, the result is bodies that within 24 hours are almost unrecognizable to the naked eye. Thanks to quote, "skinned slippage, tissue, softening and severe bloating." - Oh, is that what happened to Russell Crowe? Did he fall in there? - He's hung out for way too long. - Oh no. - He was a buffet. - Yeah, all day. (laughing) - So any time the water conditions sound like the side effects of an SSRI, that's probably gonna be a bad side. You know what I'm saying? - The Everglades may cause skin slippage, tissue softening, and severe bloating. Ask your doctor if the Everglades are right for you. - I tell you what, they weren't really kidding about the fucking bloating. I'm full of water mechanisms. (laughing) - And finally, we get to the animals. You know, I know we all picture an alligator eating a body the same way. A fancy candlelit dinner on the table with a napkin around its neck. Forking knife in each hand. - Yeah, dude. I want him to have a wine pairing. I want him to be restaurant week. - Yeah, but this ain't Tiana's buy you adventure, man. It's real life, okay? And in real life, they don't actually eat the whole body. They bite at it and disfigure it and drag it and toss it to other gators and then submerge you completely and put you under a rock and eat you a week later. They just generally anything that'll make it really hard to identify you. - Yeah, it's fucking cool. - It is cool. - I feel like alligators are like sea criminals. (laughing) - Are there any other scavengers out in the-- - I mean, there's plenty of vultures. - Yeah. - You know, there's lots of, you know, pretty much any snap of turtles, they'll eat fucking anything that's just sitting there. - Joedotic's cousins. - Yes. - And then the fish. - The fish will straight up eat you. - Of course. - Yeah. - So there's gonna be a million ways for you to find this out. - Yeah, there's alligator gar, there's regular gar. There's like, and then like, it's the only place where like, at certain points you'll get like, salt water fish, so sometimes they'll find like, bull sharks will make their way into the Everglades sometimes. Like, it's 'cause of bull shark as we learn from the attack in New Jersey, which one day I'll cover. But they can live in fresh water for up to two years. - Oh, wow. - And snap and turtles are no slouch. There was a-- - They're fucking. - Scary and huge. - There was a girl who died in a, was some sort of like water tank when I was a kid. It was like our local like mysterious death. - Yeah. - The snap and turtles got to her and ate up that body pretty fast. - Oh yeah, yeah, they can fucking rip your toes off. They'll straight up like, you get bite of story fingers, they're bad ass. - Yeah. - They're very scary. They're huge. They'll get like this big. - Yeah. - No, we had snap and turtles around all over the place. - Fly from North Laid. - So the glades aren't just there for murderers to ditch bodies. Sometimes planes crash there and the bodies ditch themselves. So let me tell you about May 11th, 1996. Value jet, flight, 592. Now before I get into it, I know the sounds like victim blaming, but anyone who flies on something called value jet is kind of asking for trouble. - Yeah, it does feel like a little dollar store light. - I mean, you're definitely full of gamblers, I'd say. - Yeah. - Oh god, yes. Now I know we're trying to save a few bucks on vacation, but I think you should steer clear of any airline that sounds like it's a dollar store. - Yeah. (laughing) - It was a horrible airline, man. All middle seats. You know, I don't even know how they did it. - Manicants. - Yeah. - It's kind of all their money on mannequins. - Super chubby employees. (laughing) - Just sit there, just take up the aisles. - Oh, obviously you've never heard of value jet, most likely, but after the crash, value jet rebranded as air trend airlines, which merged into air trend airways, which later integrated into southwest airlines. So the legacy of the worst plane ever still lives on today. But back to 1996, we're 105 passengers and five crew members boarded a flight from Miami to Atlanta in 10 minutes into the journey, disaster struck. - I didn't actually didn't realize how close the Everglades were to Miami. - Oh yes. - Oh yeah, they're right there. - Yeah, I had no idea. - No, you just go, it's literally like it's the city and then it's Everglades and then the rest of Florida. - Yeah. - You know, it's just like all the way to the Gulf Coast. So, this plane crash I'm talking about, I actually heard this plane go down. I was at a car dealership and some horrible cracker was taking my dad to the cleaners on a cherry red Chevy Cavalier. - Your dad was an incredible negotiator. I have a feeling your dad is kind of like my dad where he was just like, hey, 70,000. All right, I'll give you 80. Give me like that style. Okay, I'll get you one more. - Listen, I love the Cavalier. It was a convertible. It was very nice, you know. - It wasn't a great car, but at least it wasn't a friggin' rev four. - You know what I'm saying. - Fuck no fucking anybody that wants to sell you a rev four is an Iranian sleeper engine. That's what's happening. They're from the North Korea. They're trying to fucking destabilize the country. - So I'm sitting there just waiting for this to go over because you know how long it takes to buy a car, especially when they're stealing from you. - Oh yeah, they really let you know. - So suddenly we hear this loud plane go overhead and it like shook the whole fucking building. We're like, wow, that one was close. And a little later we're in the lobby and we saw the crash on the news. - Wow. - It was fucking crazy. - No come up, but I've gotten to see slash here a couple cool disasters in my day. - Wow. - Challenger, Miracle on the Hudson. Still don't make up for sleeping through 9/11, but 9/10 was worth it. (laughing) - You saw the Miracle on the Hudson? - Yeah, I was working at IAC building on the ninth floor and I was restocking all the candy. And then all of a sudden there was some chick up there. She just started screaming and then I looked up and the fucking thing hits the Hudson. And then we had like a telescope and I'm just looking at the people standing on the wing and I'm like these motherfuckers are dead 'cause it was February. - Yeah. - Yeah. (laughing) (laughing) - Who's this, aren't you? Just you, even that monkey suit. They put you in that suit. You're just sitting there going. - Those motherfuckers are dead. - I got the tires full of recesses. - Yeah. (laughing) - Yeah, fucking dammit, another pile of corpses. - Is there a you want some Charleston tube? (laughing) - Carol wants her pink paper. - Yeah, Mr. Barry Diller, come on over and look at the corpses. - Oh, excellent. Now I can finally get hard and fuck my fake wife. (laughing) - So here's how the plane went down. The oxygen masks, they're supposed to help in the event of emergency. But what if I told you? you that they caused the emergency, I believe you. That's what happened here. As 144 chemical oxygen canisters were not only expired, but also improperly secured in the cargo base. That's the value jet promise. And you know, dude, this fucking flight value jet was done like the next day. It feels like whoever ran value jet was quiet quitting. I feel like doing this anymore. Just stop, but just stop with the oxygen tanks and it's someday it's going to go any more. I need to fight for my own mental health. And this is a boundary I'm setting. The oxygen tanks will just be loosely in the plane. And I'm doing that for my own mental well being. Okay. The boundary is here. Yeah, like it's to this day. It kind of changed everything. You know, when you check in for a flight and then ask you if you're bringing any of the combustible materials on the plane and you think, why would anyone fucking do that? The answer is value jet. The canisters started a fire on board. And the pilot tried to reverse course back to Miami, but before they could make it, the plane crashed nose down in the Everglades, killing everyone on board. The plane landed in the mud and shallow water where the impact on the limestone floor shattered the aircraft and sent bodies flying everywhere. Crews responded immediately to search for said bodies and to say they face an uphill battle is an understatement. It's like more of a down swamp battle. Yes. So they have waiters. Waiters, not waiters. We can call them waters. Yeah. That sounds like waters. Yeah. Yeah. Well, water waiters. Yeah. I do not think I should not be up to my ways. The. So they enter the muck and the biohazard gear and masks their sleeves and pant legs securely taped to their bodies to avoid coming in contact with all the bacteria or jet fuel. They went in teams of six and for 20 minute shifts bound together by a safety line in case one of them fell into a deep hole. I forgot to mention the Everglades just has a bunch of random deep holes. I mean, that makes total sense. Yeah. So when you say like the shallow water on average, do you know how like deep Everglades water like up to your tits? Okay. You can usually walk around about four and a half, four and a half, five feet. But you're walking on limestone. Limestone. Well, there's a lot of mud in limestone, but like I said, there's deep holes. There's like it. You could be stepping on gators. You could be stepping on snakes. You don't know what the fuck's going on. Not to mention the sawgrass. They call it sawgrass because it literally cuts your skin as you walk through it. I'm not going in it. Yeah. I'm not going to go with it. It's just incredible how America is filled with places like this. Oh, yeah. And it's like this. Yeah. Or like in the opposite side of the biome, we've got the Everglades and Death Valley. Yeah. In the same fucking country. We've got everything. Yeah. We have a genuine jungles up in Oregon and Washington. Yeah. It's kind of, it is. I mean, America's a beautiful place. Hopefully we get it back one day. One day. Yeah. As if it wasn't bad enough, they had to be monitored. So listen to you. So they're like worried about the deep holes. They had like fucking helicopters equipped with snipers to shoot alligators and crocodiles and other assorted swamp monsters that would try to attack the waiters. Do you know that that's kind? That is a fun job. That's a fun job. Yeah. Just strapped into a helicopter. Yeah. I knew that. I knew I do something cool. I wasn't just shooting villagers. All right. Here's what all of it. Here's the results that all reflected in. In the first three days, the searching yielded 40 body parts. Not bodies body parts. The biggest one was a kneecap, which should put in perspective just how badly these bodies were destroyed in the first 72 hours. Wow. The search lasted for seven weeks and eventually produced over 4,000 body fragments, which were used positively, identify 68 of the 110 bodies. 42 of the people on board were never ID'd from remains. I assume their identities were known from the tickets purchase, but that's operating under the assumption that value jet even checked IDs or log purchases or owned a computer which might be a stretch. We do the old fashioned way with graph paper. Yeah. It's supposed to be zero ox machines, graph paper. When you took value jet back in the day, I was like, Greyhound, you just kind of tossed your luggage in a plane going north and hope for the best. I'll get on one of the stops. I got to body fragments. It's just flesh. I guess it's a chunk to grow a bone that they found. It's just, yeah, it's nothing. It's not. It's an island. But, you know, so this wasn't the. That's got to be a fun. Like, look what I found. It's an island. Don't need it. Like, oh, I've never seen an island on its own. That's so fun. But this wasn't the only ever glades playing crash. December 29th, 1972, Eastern Airlines flight 401 was wrapping up from a flight from JFK to Miami. When I say wrapping up, I mean, the black box recorded Captain Bob Loft welcoming passengers to Miami, telling them that temperatures were in the low 70s. They had a lobe here. Perfect. My army. No, no, no, 70s. Now, if you could see, you're outside of your windows, you could see it's quite a beautiful night. I'll think, can I know? I hope you can enjoy. Oh, my fucking god. Basically, yes. They were, they were in the home stretch. The loft noticed that the nose gear light didn't indicate down and locked, which was, you know, necessary for a safe landing. So there's a little. So he sent the second officer Bert Stockstill to the electronics bay beneath the flight deck to inspect and got permission to circle the height of 2000 feet while they figured out the issue. Bert Stockstill, that guy wasn't being anything but a pilot. Dude, all these guys have great pilot names. Yes, that can't be. Second officer Bert Stockstill checking in. Do it. Everything I can. Do it. Do it. Keep us in the air. And I know my wife's cheating on me. It's like when you get a pilot's license, they change your name. Or your name is Barney Krasinski. You know, your name is now Rock Jetson. But 2000 feet sounds like a safe height for an aircraft. If everything's handled correctly, sure. Ultimately, though, it's way lower than you think. If the craft starts to slowly descending without anyone noticing, the ground will approach extremely fast. How do they not notice? Aren't they pilots in the cockpit? Well, yes. And then that's what happened. The ground approached very quickly. Remember, it's nighttime. Yeah, man of the 70s. So like, it's all different machinery. Yeah, everybody's skinnier. Yeah, we're smoking. So after we get nose impact back, so you know, going to be skinny again. It's for everybody. After about six minutes of trying to find the nose gear issue, an alarm went off to indicate that the aircraft had deviated from proper altitude. The alarm was either unheard or ignored and two minutes later, they noticed how low they had gotten by then. It was far too late. The black box recorded loft saying, Hey, what's happening here? And then seven seconds later, the plane crashed into the Everglades. Don't talk. It's a snake. Why is he close? Most black box is according to R like that. Yeah. You can't listen to him. It's mostly them just calmly talking. It looks like we have a little problem here. Yeah. Oh, boy, that doesn't look right. Well, they're built because they're built to be that way. Pilots are supposed to because that's all the Chuck Gager. You got to say, yeah, say come. Yeah, they stole that. That's the whole thing from that to Chuck Gager voice. That's what every pilot is doing. Chuck Gager. Here's where it gets crazy. Chuck Gager. Yeah, the right stuff. I remember Chuck Gager. I remember the ride at Six Flags over Texas. It's cool. God. I don't remember him. He's broke sound barrier. Oh, that guy. Yeah. Chuck Gager. They named Yeager Master after him. Yes. Traditionally, fastest. How come I am the Yeager, Mr. Well, so the aircraft fucking disintegrated and sent wreckage flying across the area almost 500,000 square feet. But amazingly, there were survivors and here's the math. 176 total people on board, including the crew. 101 deaths. So that means 75 survivors with 58 of them suffering serious injuries. But that means that 17 people walked out of this thing relatively unscathed, which is unbelievable. So that's not to say the survivors didn't suffer though. They did. One survivor described waking up buried up to his neck and muck completely naked, except for the elastic on his socks, unable to move to multiple injuries hearing snakes and gators thrashing in the water around him. He was rescued five hours later. Hot, right? Wow. What happened to his clothes? What was he naked? Did everything disintegrate as close as ideally? Yes. So I have no idea. Who knows it could have burnt off. Who knows what manic should happen? But you know, they talk about that. You remember how when we went through the Murdock cases, the party had you know, he wasn't the Stephen Miller part of it when he wasn't killed. Like we know the fact he wasn't hit by a car because one thing they do say is that people fall out of their clothes all the time in an impact kill and how like that style of it's weird. You just like your clothes is rip. Yeah. It was something you naked. It is. You're naked as hell. You're a swamp. You survived the plane crash. And you've just become a feral child, like from the 1700s and the forests of France. He could have bought one of those new newspaper suits. He is close burned off of him when the playing cat caught him fire. But then when it hit the swamp, put him out again. It's all the wicking. Yeah. And then the muck of the mud helped heal. And then his skin was moisturized. Yeah, yeah. Although if it was the 70s, he might have been wearing it. Now that wouldn't work because he would have been wearing polyester. And that would have just polyester. Yeah. Yeah. It turns into like a, like a, like a, almost like a, what do they call like a, uh, napalm. napalm. Yeah. Yum. Yum. Now that was the big thing that happened to Michael Jackson. Yeah. At the Pepsi commercial. Yes. He really could have become Freddy Krueger in that moment. He did. I did. Without the, without the mercy of killing them. Yeah. Instead of the dreams I invite him in the mind. You already had the hat in the glove. Um, so not all the damage was physical. Some of them was psychological. Eight of a ten flight attendant survived. And Beverly Raposa was hailed as a hero for her efforts rescuing survivors. One of her strategies was to sing Christmas carols to boost morale and draw attention to the rescuers. Just imagine being half paralyzed but naked, soaked in carocene, surrounded by electric eels. You're expected to join in on an impromptu rendition of Santa, baby. Jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle bells. Do you hear what I hear? Oh. That's an alligator. That's a fucking gator. He's a fuck. That shit. Yeah. That's a Frankie's. That's the sound Frankie makes when a monster comes on the television. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Very protective. Very cute. So one fun Everglades specific tidbit is that the first responders were Bud Marquis and Ray Dickinson. Two friends. They were out for around a late night frog gigging and frog gigging, of course, is when you go out and hunt bull frogs with a long spear and secretly have sex with your best friends. Yeah. Why else did you do that? What else could possibly be fun about that? That sounds horrific. Yeah. So these guys are out there fucking each other and stabbing frogs. Yeah. I wish you get back to stabbing frogs, I've already come three times. The playing crashes and then the immediately leap frog into action and started rescuing people. They were later honored for their heroics and their efforts helped save the lives of 75 people and countless frogs were able to escape the spear to the head while Bud and Ray were preoccupied. I imagine whatever frogs they missed were murdered by the plane. I think they were very actively destroyed, but entirely by the plane crash. Dude, the fucking toads down there, they're fucking huge about it. Fuck no. Yeah, you don't like those. Hey toads. They'd be waiting by your front door, like when you get home and shit, you just feel like I don't bite you. They'd be waiting by my front door when I was a fucking kid in Texas, fucking bull frogs everywhere. When you hit them with the car, they must explode. They explode. They do. I remember seeing a video in college about, it was Australian toads, it was about invasive species. It was environmental science class and they showed a guy driving down a road that was covered in toads and it was slipping and sliding all over because the gun, it actually causes wrecks. That's because there's so many of them. That's slippery before you run them over. Yeah. Yeah, they're little gushers. So the three main crew members, remember them, Captain Bob Loft, second officer, Bert Stockstill and engineer Don Rippo, they were all killed in the crash. Yeah, he's just amazing. Great name. Hi, Don Rippo, plane engineer. Yeah, that's what I do. Well, just because you're dead doesn't mean there isn't still work to do. And Loft and Rippo began new career as air ghosts. Yeah. This is fun. All right. Now we're getting a little spooky. Those are a topic I've wanted to cover quite a bit before. Well, here you go, fuckface. They started haunting various flights and they didn't choose them at random. There was one thing that all the haunted flights had in common. This is honestly pretty cool. The aircraft that had crashed was a Lockheed L-1011 tri-star. After the wreckage had be recovered from the swamp, they realized that some of the parts of the aircraft could be salvaged and refitted into other L-1011s. They do that. They've done that all with every single plane crash. They did it with the twin towers. Really? Yeah, they took the metal. They use a lot of stuff for them using them. I mean, pro, this saved the Eastern Airlines like hundreds of bucks almost dozens of dollars. And the con is that the refitted parts also contained the lost souls of Loft and Rippo. Six and a half and a dozen in the other. In one instance, a captain was asked to check on a passenger in first class who was not on the passenger list. This man was wearing a pilot's uniform and appeared dazed and unresponsive. When the captain got closer, he recognized who it was. Bob Loft. Bob? Yeah, and he fucking knew it. Johnny, find my journal and throw it on! On another flight from New York to Miami, the same exact path of flight 401, a flight attendant opened the overhead compartment to see Bob stare back at her from the inside. What's going on here, where do you get going on here, where do you get for snacks? Bob does seem like a fun ghost. He does. Dude's just getting hammered in first class and hiding in overhead bins. He's like, "Soul volcano." Yeah. He's having a little fun. Now Don repo, not quite as silly. He was much more productive on one flight and a attendant saw his face appear in the oven and he warned her to watch out for fire on the plane on the return flight. The engine failed and had to be shut down before it caught fire. Another flight attendant on the aircraft saw an engineer fixing the oven shortly afterwards. On another flight, Don was seen sitting in the cockpit where he warned of a faulty electrical circuit. And I'll be damned, Don was right, the crew found and replaced the circuit before anything could go wrong. That ghost is the best employee this airline has. I don't think he came in like the thing, he kicked like that, it wasn't just like fire on the plane, like, "I come bringing warnings of Diocons Aquedin!" He was just, "No, it's gonna really helpful there, thank you so much, Don." And if his ghost was in the oven, was it like a tiny version? Yeah, I said it. I was gonna fire at the plane, if it was a tank, if it was a stop, it'd put it around, put it around, put it around. That little gnome is trying to warn us of something. Oh man, Eastern Airlines hated these stories though. When they started circulating, they privately warned employees that if they were caught spreading ghost stories, they'd be fired. They publicly denied that these flights were haunted, which is objectively hilarious press conference staff to hold. We haven't investigated each and every flight, and we have determined no ghosts. Like you'd like to imagine, we will assure you, every single flight you take here on Southwest will guarantee to be ghost free. I don't care what anybody says. How scared you are. I'm not flying a Eastern Airlines. I don't care how scared these flight attendants are, they're not seeing ghosts. They're seeing what we call temporal imagery. Like he tries to create new sight. Eastern Airlines was founded on the promise that the undead do not belong in the sky. We hear a value gender doing our best to kill the spiritual world one plane at a time. One nice thing about having two horrific plane crashes is that the victims don't appear to be causing any trouble in the afterlife. Other than the two pilots that are messing with people aboard the other aircraft, everyone's mind and they're pees and cues and not haunting the Florida Everglades. That's not the case. However, for Edgar J Watson, Ed Watson was known as the Everglades killer. How do you think he got that name? Killing people in the Everglades. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nowadays the haunts the area, particularly near a convenience store, which is ironically pretty inconvenient for shoppers, because it's in the middle of the Everglades. Actually, if you need something though, it's probably as convenient as it would know. Yeah. Everglades, I've done, you know, I've got acid, you know, where am I going to get my pepsin? The ghost is inconvenient. Yeah. I want to get my malt liquor. Mm-hmm. Well, let's start Ed Watson's story from the beginning. On the first day, there was light. Don, Watson was born on November 11, 1855, you know, back when America was great. His father, Elijah, was a Civil War veteran and an abusive drunk, which is redundant for sure. Elijah would routinely beat Edgar and his mom, and after about a decade of that, they fled the Fort White Florida where Edgar would spend the rest of his childhood. Because of the inconsistent record keeping back then, there are a lot of question marks in Edgar's timeline. There's a lot of unverified stories, and they start with this departure from South Carolina. One version of the story goes that his mom, Minnie, got tired. of dealing with an alcoholic maniac, so she left. - That makes sense. The other version had Edgar committing his first murder at the age of nine. - Wow. - Prompting the move. That one kind of almost makes sense once you hear the rest of Edgar's story. - Nine-year-olds commit murder? - Every day. - Have you guys ever heard about Edgar Watson? - I never have. - I've never heard of this story. - This is great. - Oh, this is awesome. - Yeah, there's a lot of fun characters in this story. So either way, they settled into Fort White, and Watson would eventually grow up and meet a nice young lady and get married. Unfortunately, Watson's wife would tragically die during childbirth with a baby passing away as well, which made Edgar super easy to get along with. Watson's first confirmed killing would come a bit later. The victim was his unnamed cousin. Edgar's cousin made one fatal mistake, and that mistake was when he said the words, "Edger, come down." (laughing) - Never do that. - No. - I'm gonna need you to come down. - You know, that actually triggers a lot of people. - It doesn't seem to accelerate. - Yeah, the scenario can't name a single time when I've said that, and it's work. - No, once. You don't believe it? Try it with your wife when you come home with three AM hammers. - Lady, I gotta say, you're first of all, you're overacting. Second of all, I'm underappreciated in this house. - So you're gonna have to come down. - I'm gonna have to, all right. I'll be moving out. - After that, if you come down, go sleep, 'cause tire sleep. - tire sleep? - You come down, and you come down sleep, time. - You come down, 'cause I'm calm. - It's your place, the place, the place, the place. - Eddie said the funniest thing about ladies earlier. (laughing) - You blame the funny things that said about ladies earlier. - I'll be see if I can remember it. - Let me see if I can remember it. - I think he said, calm the fuck down. - Calm the fuck down. - So anyway, Edgar kicked his cousin in the head till he died. Should've been a soccer player. Edgar then split to Oklahoma. While in Oklahoma, Edgar met a woman named Bell Star. - This woman's incredible. - Yes, Bell was eight years older than Edgar, and had committed quite a bit more crime as well. - Do you also see her as Maywest? - Oh my God, that's not the name. - Well, hi, my name's Bell Star. - Okay, Bell Star, nice to meet you. - Shuffle, Belarusian. - Oh, your name's Edgar, I'm gonna call you a little Eddie. - You're my little Eddie, you're my little baby. - So she was associated with the James Younger gang, made famous by Jesse James, and that was hardly her first gang. She switched gangs and husbands constantly. Almost always making the switches simultaneously. She put together a lucrative criminal enterprise, planning and facilitating the exploits of bootleggers and horse thieves, and all the various troublemakers of the era, pretty cool chick, and a horrible sort of way. - Yes. - Yeah, no, that definitely resulted in the death of many people. - Oh, for sure, she's fun. - Yeah, but you know, great for the show. - Hey, Oklahoma in the 1800s, it's fine. - Yeah, no man's land. - Yeah, I think it was actually still just a territory. - At that point, wow, I can't remember when the Sooners were, like, and when Oklahoma was actually settled. - My later. - Yeah, my ancestors. - Sooner or later, yeah, yeah, yeah. - My ancestors weren't, they weren't in Oklahoma just yet. They didn't show up until I think the 1900s. They were almost there. I wasn't gonna come across a little bell and anchor. The bell stars run, came to an end on February 3rd, 1889 when she was violently murdered, allegedly, by Edgar Watson. The killer shot her while she was riding her own horse, and then when she fell off, the killer shot her again. She officially died of shotgun wounds to the neck and back, which would later be the inspiration for the 2002 song, "My neck, my back, by Kia." - Oh! - A one or what happened with her pussy and her crack? - It is not, you really don't know if she was shot in the other locations? - Oh! - But you know, the record keeping wasn't the best, we know, as we established earlier. Yeah, one theory though, is that Bell was using her knowledge of Edgar being a killer on the lamb as leverage. She planned to use the info to reduce her sentence, next time she got in trouble and Edgar got win of the plan, and shotgun the shit out of her. - Yeah, that's gonna happen when you hang out with men like little Eddie. - Little Eddie. - I'm not so little anymore. - Hey, hey, wow, you're little Eddie. I'm not calling you big boy. - Big boy, big boy, don't put that shotgun down on. - Hey, you're supposed to be so. - My pussy and my crack on. - Oh, my pussy and my crack are becoming one thing. - So Edgar flees back to Florida, and I think a whole bunch of poor bastards must have been telling them to calm down or something because he started killing all types of motherfuckers. He killed a man named Quinn Bass in self-defense and was acquitted. A short while later, he got into a dispute with a man named Sam Toland and shot his fucking ass and got acquitted again. Despite the acquittals, the sheriff had enough and a ran-egger out of that town. So at this point, Edgar needed something new in his life. He figured the Everglades was the perfect place to hide out in plain sight, but he didn't exactly lay low. He started a very profitable business, raising vegetables, button wood trees for lumber and sugar cane. He would take his product on his boat and sell it in four mires in Tampa, Key West. It's going well. Just do that. Edgar, no, he's number, but that's not his passion anymore. That's his job. So one day, he gets in an argument with a local resident named Adolfa Santini and slit his throat. But Santini survived. So Edgar had to pay him $900. - Wow, he didn't really do that well. - Yeah, you know, Florida rules. - Yeah. - You're gonna pay me $900. - All right. - You have to pay me $900. - That was my survive. - I'm gonna pay you $900. - I know, that's the contract we made. - Get yourself, I'm gonna sharpen this fucking knife. - I'm gonna go deeper. - Stop doing just the tip. - Edgar, expertly maneuvered all the difficult situations that would face a young entrepreneur/merderer and his business continued to thrive. Edgar expanded his Everglades empire buying land around the Lost Man's River on a Chocolosky Island. He also started hiring workers from Tampa in Key West. Now, another potential hurdle when you expand your business is the added expense of payroll, you boys know. - Yeah. - Oh yeah, however, check this out, think about this. Edgar figured out how to limit the burden of those expenses by using one simple trick. Instead of paying his workers, - Get out. - Oh, it's so smart. - Yeah. - Yeah. - But it's so hard to breathe higher. - Yeah. The worst part is all the interviews after. - Yeah. - See, Edgar had a plan for that. He found workers without families because he knew no one would miss them or come looking. - That's a great idea. - That's what he was. - Wow. - So no one would come looking for, you know. We got to find orphans, check this out. Promise them a salary, make them work until they eventually ask where the money was and then, get up. - Wow. - Yeah, yeah. And then he'd bury him in a shallow grave where simply dump their bodies in the river tributuaries. No, must no fuss. Sure. Edgar's plan worked like a charm for some time until he eventually got new a land dispute with the Tucker family. The Tucker's were well known on the island and had grown crops for years in area around Edgar's territory. He could front of them and told them to get out. And they replied that they would when their crops had finished harvesting. The timeline was not acceptable for Edgar. I didn't have fast growing trees back then. - No. - So he turned to his trusty plan B and just killed them, dumped their bodies in the swamp. Not good to do. - He really just, he's got one move. - He's got the only, I mean the hotel we know. See, but this time he broke his own code. He murdered well known members of the local community and then Edgar opened the door for retribution and that's exactly what he got. After our hurricane killed over a hundred Floridians, Edgar took his boat to the small wood store on Chocolosky Island and while there he was confronted by an angry mob, he attempted to shoot them but a shotgun misfired and before he could grab his revolver, the mob had shot him several times. They dragged his body to a secluded area of the Everglades and buried his body in a shallow grave and to quote Robin Williams at the end of Goodwill hunting instead of a bitch stole my move. - Oh yeah, he was so sad during that shoot. - But with the hundred Floridians. - Ever lose in their mind. 'Cause like back then, everything's built on sticks. - Yeah. - The hurricane comes through and it's impossible to control. - Oh yeah, it's the same as the hurricane that ripped through Galveston, the thousands. So they found out about the murders and then to wait out the hurricane before they could go fucking run after him. - Yeah, it's incredible. - It's a fucking crazy story now. - Hell of a week. - I mean, when you watch 100 people in your town die, it's good to take another one. - Yeah. - So nowadays though, Edgar Watson stays busy by haunting the Everglades at the small wood store. There have been countless reports of these hauntings and they sound pretty chill, all things considered. mostly just alternates between making mean faces at people. Wondering around aimlessly, seemingly unaware of the people around him and just focused on his ghost business. How is that any different than any of the other customers at the convenience store near the evergones? There are some people, however, who say they can hear the sounds of sugarcane being processed far away. Accompanied by the horrible screams of Edgar's victims. I'm sure that's not more people being murdered because sugarcane being harvested that's like machetes and then it's probably could just be killed by machete. Oh, yeah, it's just a ghost. It's just a ghost. He's talking about it, isn't he? Other people have reported hearing shotgun misfire outside the small word. It's cool. Again, that just sounds like an unreported crime. It's going to be the small wood store, by the way. Average rating of 4.5 on Google with over 700 reviews. Actually, that is quite surprising that it has that many reviews. Yeah, so whatever haunting Edgar Watson is doing doesn't seem to be bothering the people that much. Does it not do anything in those milkshake machine? No, no, no. Do you think I have a milkshake machine there? Probably an icy machine. Yeah, you don't want milkshakes in the Everglades. I do, and the Everglades don't make. Oh, man. He just can't have it out for too long, but there's plenty of dairy in the Everglades. Yeah, I want to eat ice cream and watch a python eat a person. You'd be surprised how unhealthy everyone is down there. No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't be. Yeah, I'd be. My expectations would be met. Oh, yeah. Everyone's so sunburned. You can't even tell what race they are till they start saying race is shit, you know? Yeah. As you find out which one. So before I get too far into the sawgrass on this one, I feel like legally, I should say that the DeSantis administration and the state of Florida says most of what I'm about to talk about is not true, but I personally don't believe anything those fuckers say. Why would you agree? Yes. You know what else delivers pain in the Everglades alligator alcatraz, and I know what you're thinking, Ed, it's towards the end of the episode, you can't open this can of worms right now. Well, these worms I got here ain't even got no can. And plus, as of the recording of this episode, it's still very much open alligator alcatraz, though many have tried to close it many fucking times. But before we're waiting through the swamp too far, the name is extremely flawed. All right. It makes no sense. Pelican, are we supposed to take this seriously? All right. You know, they hardly even interact with each other, even though in some cases are living less than a mile from each other, alligators and pelicans, you know, they don't eat pelicans. Yeah. No, no, no, no, because they don't go to the saltwater, they don't go to the saltwater. So the pelicans are in the saltwater, but if they did meet, I'm sure they'd be mortal enemies. Come on. Pelican. Come on. As we know, as last podcast in the left span, alcatraz is Spanish for pelicans pelican. And since I'm a real American who only speaks American like Jesus, Hubert, Christ, intended at a white American Jesus, I'll be referring to alligator alcatraz, alligator pelican for the rest of the episode, because I'm the only one in this goddamn forsaken country who's got a pair of male breasts. Yes. That's definitely not the only one. You got it. Got a pair of shit running. It's your friend. Oh, baby. They are. Juicy and hairy. Yeah. Use the view shave. I mean, man, you could suck on my tits. You come your pants. Thank you. You don't have to shave. Yeah. Actually, you would be with ruin the illusion. It's actually going to be a kind of serious subject here. Oh, you don't. Isn't the time for humor? Shave me a suck on my tits and come on. So alligator pelican is an internment camp built on top of an airplane landing strip on stolen mika suki land that is inhumane devastating to the environment and potential money laundering scheme and just flat out cruel and unusual. What else is wrong with it? It doesn't. It's for that. Yes. Yeah. It's fucked up. Alligator pelican is the brainchild of James Ulthmeyer, Florida's attorney general and Ron DeSantis's former campaign manager, Ulthmeyer is also a prick face suck bag who was involved in the hope foundation scandal involving DeSantis's sunken eyed bitch mouth, wife Casey. They love stealing money. Yeah. No, I think that they like degrading LGBTQ children more first, they're first, yes, they're first love. So alligator pelican opened July 3, 2025, which is not only my wedding anniversary, but also a dreadful time of the year to be in the Everglades. The alligator pelican can't toss his anniversary in it. Julie listens. He knows he has to say it because he's afraid to get in trouble, but she doesn't want this connected to it. I love you, baby. You suck on my tent. So you come your pants, Julie, if you want, it's, it's offered to you. The alligator pelican camp was erected in exactly two weeks. They put this whole thing together. It really isn't much to it. It's all tents, trailers, porta-potties. It's more fire festival than island prison. There's zero infrastructure. It was always meant to be temporary, a one-stop shop for holding, processing, and deporting immigrants. Ron DeSantis, he confiscated the airplane landing strip inside Big Cypress National Preserve Land from Dade County in the Mika Sookie tribe through a state of emergency order. He placed on maritime migration all the way back in January of 2023. Now, we're 10 months in on alligator pelican, and there's no end in sight. It's insane that we're still stealing land from Native Americans to this day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Still just doing it. And it's just swamp. Yeah. It's like a fucking swamp. It's so crazy to me. So it was built by companies IRG Global Emergencies, who was a Texas company that got higher just weeks after they donated $10,000 to the Florida Republican Party, thus, since given multiple contracts in the millions, alongside Gotham's LLC, who were offered the contract to start rebuilding Gaza by Jared Kushnerd. It's fun, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's all the same shithead. It's all the same guy. And death, you know, so alligator pelican was meant for the worst of the worst, but truth is, it's mostly everyday people who just found themselves at the wrong place at the wrong time. In fact, the first group of detainees were there solely on immigration violations and none on state criminal charges. Now about 72% have no criminal record according to the Americans for immigrant justice. Because of April 2026, there are 1,383 human beings held captive at alligator pelican. But the capacity is 5,000. So they're looking to grow. Current projections say that it has cost the American people $1.5 billion already. And as an operating cost of $1.2 million a day, which breaks down to about $249 per person per night, the average cost per person at a normal ice facility with like walls and plumbing and grounded electricity is $187 a day. So we're just wasting money to torture people. No way. And I feel that, well, I think it goes good. I'm glad we're spending money here instead of investing in any form of educational infrastructure or anything because I like the fact that the pressure is off for us running the world. And I think that's the key. We just like ease off on educating our kids and just arresting a bunch of people that are here to make a better life for themselves. And I think that that's really going to give us the room we need to finally master the chicken sandwich. Back then, I mean, like in the winter, it was so easy because they took all the books from the schools and then they burned them for heat. Oh, great. Kids don't need to learn to read, they don't need to know how to read it all. You see this girl was posted a video of all these seniors in the spicy, this senior class who literally couldn't read dissent and then she got expelled for exposing it. Well, they want to, yeah, they want to expel it because the kids couldn't recognize the word extraordinary in silhouette. Yeah, in silhouette. And I think it might have been Florida. Of course, man. It's fucked up down. It was fucked up when I went to school there and it's way worse now. So now I'm not Anderson Cooper or some other uptight pussy, but so let's talk about what the title of the episode says it is, the pain of it all, all right. Now the Department of Homeland Security and Dumpy Face High Healed Ron DeSantis have called reports of guards beating in pepper spring incarcerated people, toilets overflowing, flooding, rotten food, hunger strikes, and something called the boxes hoaxes. But let's not come at his healed boots. I think that's the best part about him. Continue. Yes, you do. But there have always been enough reports to take all of these allegations very seriously. All right. And if you've never seen cool hand Luke and lack an evil imagination, here's how the box works. All right. It's a small cage placed out in the swamp where a person is handcuffed, shackled, and left in the Everglades sun or pouring rain in a cage for hours at a time without food or water. All right. It started the month they opened July, not sure if you fell has it been to the Everglades in July or not, but it's a brutal bastard, especially if you're in a fucking cage. at two feet by two feet, the box is big enough to stand in but not sit down and with temperatures in the high 90s with a feels like being a temperature of go fuck yourself, it is by definition torture. Everyone concentrates on the gators and the crocs and the snakes, but the animal that has the most kills in the Everglade is actually the mosquito, all right? The mosquito in the Everglades in August are big enough to rape a hummingbird. Wow. Yeah. Can I say that? Is that offensive? I don't know anymore. You said it. Yeah. But also I don't think that that's all limits. Yeah. It doesn't matter. So if that's the thing that someone takes from this episode that bats what they're fucking upset about and your priorities are out of fucking whack. So is the box still currently in use? We don't actually know. But don't worry. A couple of senators sent a letter. So I'm sure it's all thanks. So yeah. It's a truck. Do you know who does that? Who I love? It's to Chuck Schumer's Nancy Pelosi's. They just said those letters embarrassment is enough of a punish refuse me. I mean letters is like did they send any strong we worded tweets? Yes. Oh, yeah. What are we going to do about this? Yeah. Oh, it says members of the government. You voted for that. Have they condemned? They've condemned. Yes. They got. They've condemned. They've just about have they've just about have they said this is not America. Yeah. Because as they just keep buying stocks and making money. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just see you know, yeah, because every time someone says this isn't every time a Democrat says this is not what America is about. It fixes everything. It's like a magic spell. Yeah. Just point out. We've been coming. Yeah. It's not. It's not. That's right. It's fucking closer. We've been coming hard at the duly elected president of the United States quite a bit recently. But I don't want to fucking hesitate to say I believe every single member of government should be arrested. Okay. I want you to I want to remind you of that. I mean, every fucking one of them should be in a fucking cage. It's just an order, you know. Yeah. Bernie's last. Yeah. Hopefully he dies before he dies before his truck. Yeah. Well, the guards there. Well, they ain't no fun boys neither. All right. Most of the guards come from not so friendly private firms with names like Delta Fox trot solutions incorporated and guard a world by hiring from private firms. Most guards don't have proper training. The really bad guards turn their ID badges around so their names don't get reported. No way. Yeah. There's a there's a really high turnover rate as well. The bad guards they get fired for being too abusive. And the good guards quit because the pay sucks. Yeah. And the place sucks. Yeah, man. It's 21 to 26 dollars an hour. And it's a two or more hour commute because it's not even like. Remember, I was talking about alligator alley. Yeah. It's like take a left. Yeah. You know, and then actually it's take a right. Well, depending on which way you're going. But yeah, but yeah, it's and then it's another hour deep into there. It's not no one's supposed to be there. No, it's not for humans. Yeah. No. The only people there that are supposed to be there are the Micah Sookies. Yes. I don't even like it. They're forced there. They like it a lot. They're fine. They're pretty. I bet you they would much rather a little piece of land in the San Fernando Valley. I mean, I bet they're like, oh, I wish our land was in like, you know, the beautiful blue mountains of Tennessee or something. Tell them what they want. They're not what they want. We all know what we like. We'll get into it a little bit and you can explain yourself to the wonderful Betty Asiola. I will talk to each one personally. So it's in the middle of the swamp, which makes it not worth it for anyone who can get any other job. So some of the guards also, they just fucking live there in a shared trailer with no hot water. So they're essentially prisoners as well. I'm sure it makes them super nice. Yeah, man, if you are fucking living in a trailer, you have fucked up. If you're living in a trailer at alligator Alcatraz, you're sharing the trailer. Yes. It is sharing the bathroom. You are wrong. You have fucked up. Yeah, your life is garbage. Yeah, there's no, you say like good guards. There aren't a fucking good guards. Like, no, if you fucking decide to work this job, fuck. Yeah, you're done. Yeah, you're done. You're a moron. It's like ice. It's all of these things. You've specifically chosen a dumb fucking job. And now you are reaping the goddamn benefits of it. Yeah, man. And you know, the fucked up part is is there's a lot less jobs nowadays in South Florida as well. So there's nowhere for people to turn to fucking support their families. That's why I mean, decent people are taking these horrible jobs against their will. I just can't believe that there's no form of like cottage industry that could be legalized in Florida. Actually create a lot of taxed money that would do really good for the state. It's not like stuff grows well. Yeah, it's not like there's specific grumps that you could build that green plant. So much money for your state that you're specifically saying no to because you're a bunch of fucking morons because it makes people nice. It does. And that's the problem. Yeah. So as far as the abuse goes, the boxes isn't the only thing these American SS officers use as punishment. They have been reports of guards beating and pepper spraying the men and held in the cages. The few people who've come forward to talk about these incidents say how most of the beatings from the guards come at night as a form of retaliation for complaining about mis-treatment, which includes but not limited to the showers being fucking filled with bugs, low amounts of food and other inhumane conditions. Another report I hated had a detainee complaining about expired food and then was stripped naked sprayed with a hose and beaten. This is what's going on down there. And then and if you talk about it, they just escalates. Yeah. And you're or they fucking deport your ass. Yeah. It's crazy. And it's like that point. You're like, all right, fucking deport me. I just feel like just send me back now. Well, a lot of people are going back to fucking places like Honduras where they're running from gangs that are trying to kill them. Yeah. And they've come to America to make their lives better and we're fucking punishing them. Dude, they're literally fucking deporting Palestinians back to Israel. Yeah. It's crazy. So not only are the meals not large enough for a small child, even if you do include the maggots, but half of the time the food isn't even cooked. A regular meal for a person at Alligator Pelican is either boiled tofu, half frozen chicken nuggets, or just a couple of spoonfuls of undercooked rice. And it's just mostly what my wife eats. That's just because she's got girl dinner on her. But you shouldn't be given girl dinner to a bunch of prisoners. And plus they only give you five minutes to eat. And if you don't finish your food in that amount of time, they make you throw it in the fucking trash. Only five minutes. What else do they have to do? Nothing, man. It's just punishment. Yeah. Yeah. They're just it's it's specifically cruel and unusual. It's like I whatever. I know it's technically yes. If you're here illegally, yes, I know it's against the law. But I do not understand this is idea that then you would be punished so harshly for something that should be like a matter of paperwork. Like it should literally be a holding process in which we figure out why are you here or not? Like are you here to work? They sit there and they wait at their hearings when they're doing it the right way. They wait for them to show up for their hearings and then kidnap them. Yes. So it's not even like there's no again, we're talking every time we talk like this, we act like there's like a good faith argument for any of this. We act like like that's one of the main issues with this entire administration is that every single argument against them infers the fact that they have an argument that can be defended which they don't have. No. So remember when I said there is no infrastructure there. Well, that means there's no plumbing. There's no private phone lines and all the electricity for this prison is all generators and those generators need generators. So the power goes out regularly, which means that the shitty AC units stop working, the lights go out and the fucking food can't cook or stay properly refrigerated. And not just that pollution and they're trucking in gas regularly just to keep these fucking generators going because there's nothing there. There's no reason for any of it. No, it's far more. It's purposeless. Yeah, no, well, I mean, the purpose is for people here. Yeah. It's this place is used specifically. This is a alligator Alcatraz is a propaganda piece. Yes. That's all it is. And they're getting a rich down there because of it. Everyone down there, they have art. So this is other guy I found out about. I was calling people. I was like really doing like investigative shit. So there's this other guy. Carlos Duarte. He's the chair of the board of trustees at Florida International University, FIU. He sent a couple of mobile command centers over there to help with the surveillance. Just donated them from the university. These things are millions of dollars a pop. Yeah, these guys are all fucking so corrupted. It's fucking unbelievable. His wife is the CEO of CDR Health who was contracted by alligator Pelican for 70 million to provide basic health care to the inmates. Still, no one seems to see the conflict of interest here. It's just crazy. What's going on? And carcerated people are given, I feel like Eddie, they don't want to. Yes. I don't know why. Yeah. Yeah. It seems like the people who voted for this just suddenly just don't want to hear about any of it. They just don't. They just want to fucking ignore that all of this horrible shit has happened. It's still happening to this fucking day because they actually looked at it. They actually looked at it and he looked at the people that were going to these places. They might have a weird feeling about it. Yeah. Guilt. Yeah. Yeah. Remorse. Regret. It's fine. It's okay. It's okay. If you fucked up, it's okay if you made a mistake. But now's the time to say, I fucked up. I made a mistake. Let's change it. - Yeah. - And then I might think about liking you again. - Maybe. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And carcerated people are given one cup without plumbing, they're unable to clean said cup. So over time, the cups get covered in mold, especially when it's hot as fuck. Are you getting sick from the cup? Is your face and body getting covered with sores from malnutrition? Are you complaining about this cruel and unusual abuse? Pepper bomb. Yeah, that's right. They got these things called pepper bomb. - Yeah, it's new, yeah. - Yeah, they're like pepper spray, but replace the word spray with bomb. - It's to keep it from getting on police officers. - Yeah, they toss these pepper bombs into the cages of bunk beds indiscriminately, and these merc employees just deem it to be necessary. - Yeah, and the pepper bombs recently showed up in the Minnesota protests, but all of the ice officers were improperly trained 'cause there were a bunch of fucking moron cowards, and the pepper bombs kept exploding in front of them instead of the protesters. (laughing) Multiple journalists saw it happen multiple times. You might want to up that training to 50 days. So they'll just like, it could just be one guy that they're trying to like punish, but they'll just throw it in the cage, and then the cage, it'll, it's no ventilation. So there's 72 people in there, and they just gotta sit in the pepper bomb mosque for hours. - And these are in the tents. - Is it in the tents, you know? And then it's a fucking goddamn nightmare. A couple of fellas got so sick they were hospitalized. They are now missing, and their families have no idea where they are. That was a couple of weeks ago, as of this recording. - Yeah, and they're dead. - Yeah. - They died. - Yeah. - No telling how many people, we're like we, it's, we're gonna find out, I think one day, how many people died in these detention camps all across America, 'cause Al-Gaeda, Al-Qa Trezes, by far the worst, but it's not the only place where inhumane conditions are happening. I mean, these are people that are going, they have the same healthcare needs as all the, as every other fucking person on this goddamn planet, and they're not, if you don't get the healthcare that you need, you're going to die, if you put pepper spray into a room, a 72 people, a couple of those people are gonna have asthma, and they're gonna fucking die. - Yeah, they are never gonna stop writing books about the corruption of this time period. - Yeah. - It is like we are just going to, that's what none of these people even understand, is how deeply, unkindly history is going to look on this time period. And I can't wait for their punishment. - Everything that happens at Al-Gaeda Pelican is fucking just like, it's all secret. It's all, they turn the cameras off. No one, there's no reported deaths there, I will say that, but we just don't report. - No, no, there's no way to know, because if you do rat, you get in trouble. The cops follow you, like they harass you, they like go to your home and fucking raid it and shit, and it's like, oh, there's nothing here, but all your shit's broken up. It's just because you try to do something about it, man. And there are, so these cages, let me talk about the cages. The detainees are held in cages. Each cage holds 36 people. It was 30, but they figured out how to cram another three bunk beds per cage. People are literally living on top of each other, and then there's up to 300 people in each tent, all right? And you guys have seen pictures of this shit? - No. - It's fucking, it looks like Auschwitz. - Yeah. - It's fucking, it's terrifying. Yeah, it's why we're calling it alligator Auschwitz. - Yeah, there isn't enough water for the toilets, Rob. What happens when you don't have enough water for a toilet? - It does not flush. - It doesn't flush, all right? Reports of the toilets are all, it's just a hole. - It's a hole. - It's just a hole. - Yeah, yeah, man, because they're all porta-potties. There's no fucking plumbing, all right? Reports of the toilets are overflowing. Men having to use their hands to remove shit from the toilets just so they could shit in the toilet, all right? Supposedly, each cage is given one roll of toilet paper, per 36 people per day. - It's not enough. - That's not enough. There's three toilets per fucking cage, all right? Showers are, you know, I was like, "Oh, that's not that bad." You know, I was thinking about it, and then, but I'm like, "No, I have two bathrooms in my house, one for me, one for Julie, and sometimes that gets fucked up." - Yeah, it does. - Like, you have a party, like we're talking completely, practically. You have a party at your house, you invite 15 friends, you're going through two toilet paper rolls just that night. - Yes. - Yeah, not to mention that you're fucking, yeah, depending on how much people, how fat they are, and how big and dumpy they are, and how much they fucking eat and shit, or how much they waited to shit. - Okay, well, we don't need to go that far on the analogy. - Sometimes I'm waiting to go to your house to shit because I'm like, "Fuck it, I don't want to do it in my house, I'm sick of my bad shit at Marcus's house." - Henry does shit at other people's houses more than most people. - I do. - It's almost like he's an animal-marking hysterical. - Oh shit, four times a day, but that's regular for me. That's not fucking, that's just 'cause that's my swerve. - So, you're just making stuff. - Always producing. - Shout out now, you guys were just sitting here right now and making shit. - Yeah, what's next? - I got a shit, honestly, I do have to go to the bathroom. - Do you do the break? - No. - Showers are allowed only once every three or four days, depending on the water supplies. There's little or no access to medicine. Diabetics have restricted access to insulin. There are no clocks and guards refuse to tell the inmates what time it is. They never turn the fluorescent lights off when the electricity's working. And so, they're inside the tent. They don't even know what time it is. It makes it all that much more confusing. There are no private phone lines for inmates to call lawyers and families confidentially. There is someone always listening and guess what happens if you get caught spilling the beans about the abuse and maltreatment you're currently receiving. Bax. ACLU currently has a lawsuit with the state of Florida that says they need to give access to unmonadured phone calls. That was something I read last week, but who the fuck knows? - Yes. - Yeah, 'cause there's no phone lines. - Yeah, guy knows. - And it's like you're sitting there and you're like borrowing a fuck someone's phone. - How do they call a lawyer to figure it out? How do they go to get themselves legally extricated from the fucking scenario? - Now, not just that, they do this really fucked up things where they don't always register you as an inmate of alligator pelican. Hypothetical. Let's say your mom and dad were born in Cuba. They get taken by ICE, but they don't take you because you were born in America. You want to find where they were taken to? It could be any number of places in Florida. Sure, it could be the Chrome detention center or the not so cutely named deportation depot in North Florida that just opened. They have, they literally got sued by home depot because they stole the logo and were selling merch. - These guys are just such fucking pricks. And anybody who's got anybody that's into any of this can absolutely blow me. - Yeah, alligator pelican has regular power outages. We talked about, and they have internet issues. So you're not always logged in in the DHS Detainee locator which the webpage looks eerily similar to the DOJ Epstein file site. - Same designer, same webmaster. - You just don't know where your family member, friend or coworker was sent. And this is where the 1800 missing people come in. Yeah, 1800 people went missing digitally which is either negligible or intentional. Either way, go fuck yourself, DHS. Say your lawyer finds you and places a writ of habeas corpus which for those of you who don't know is a fundamental legal action used to challenge a lawful imprisonment. They'll then transfer you over often in the cover of night to another facility which cancels out the writ of habeas corpus. Your lawyer then has to find you all over again and place another writ. And this process can go on for several transfers. This is what they're doing instead of fixing the roads. This is what they're doing instead of making this country and actually better place to live. This is what they're doing instead of building hospitals and schools and trains and fucking and fixing the bridges and fixing everything that they need to be fucking doing. - Healthcare, this is what is happening. This is where your money is going. - And it's hammering, it's costing hundreds of thousands of dollars to do billions of dollars. - They are fucking us over. - You see, the torture is the idea. They wanna break you. They want you to run out of lawyer money. - Of course. - They want you to give up your immigration claim so they can send you back to whatever country they think you should go back to. Administrative disappearances demoralize the families and detainees with no remorse. - Yeah, and it's not just the people that they're also doing it to all of the rest of us. - Yes. - That the point is to do so much horrible shit that it overwhelms all of us. It overwhelms anyone with a fucking soul. Anyone with any sort of empathy for other human beings, that's they're doing it on purpose specifically to demoralize all of us. It's just the people that are actually in these facilities. They're getting the fucking worst of it. They're using them as batteries. - And these examples. - Yeah, too. - And they overload it and they do it to make you emotional and sound fucking crazy. That's why it's some glad I got to sit down and research this and talk to people and write it all down in a row so I could put it all together 'cause I knew it was bad down there, but I didn't know it was like this. - Yes, and I also, and when you talk about it in this way, what's nice is is that all the people that I have, like currently all the bots currently fighting me on the last episode of Side Stories in Marcus and I went ham on the fucking President on, like all these bots are coming after us, saying all the stuff about illegals and blah, blah, blah, and it is just very obvious that no one has any clue what the real thing is. or your issue is, they really don't. They really have, or fought this, they sold this line, and the idea that people come here illegally to what become a lawyer so you can't be one, or are they fucking picking fruit? Are they fucking working on the highway, or are they doing all of this shit that you don't wanna fucking do? - All right, so after all that, okay? Now there's the environmental impact, which is obviously something I care a lot about. I started following the work of Betty Asiola. She's a leader amongst the Mika Suki tribe, and she lives in, and the Mika Suki tribe lives in and around Big Cypress. Big Cypress also isn't technically any Everglades, but it's like across the street, okay? The Mika Suki people have been in Big Cypress since the early 1700s. Betty is worried about many aspects of tribal privacy as well as the potential for environmental disaster. The Mika Suki people live less than a half a mile from alligator pelican, and there are cameras pointing from the facility at their land and homes. The cameras are pointed towards their ceremonial grounds, where they hold private ceremonies. Is DHS spying on them? Probably because they're out there protesting alligator pelican almost every fucking Sunday, and as much as possible, reminding people that it's not just about the abuse of the detainees, but it's about the rape of the land as well. There is currently a drought in Florida, and the Everglades in Big Cypress is drier than ever, okay? There is, this facility could destroy a nearby aquifer that supplies water for 8 million people in South Florida, not just the tribe, so I guess Republicans really are trying to drain the swamp. Oh, also, and oranges are about to not be able to be grown in Florida as well, because of the choices they've made around the environment there. There's a whole drought. They literally are going to lose an entire crop that drives a large chunk of their economy. A lot of the airboat rides can't even go right now, 'cause the water's too low, 'cause of the current drought. How is Florida out of water? It's because they've, it's God's coming. (laughing) It's because God's coming, 'cause God's angry at you. Yeah, so also in Big Cypress, there's a dark sky order. If you don't know what that means, that means no illumination is allowed, because of how much of the wildlife is nocturnal, they don't give a shit about that, with trucks, buses, cars, helicopters, generators, and even Air Force One landing there occasionally. They're violating noise pollution orders. This is indigenous land, environmentally protected land. Every day, DHS is trucking in people, water, and fuel, and trucking out, piss, shit, and trash. The Mikasuki tribe currently has an environmental lawsuit against the state of Florida to try and shut this facility down. There are about a thousand violations of the National Environmental Protection Act or NEPA happening over there. So hopefully this does something, but with the state of Florida being run by the fat-faced demons that run it now, I am not optimistic. No. Finally, we get to the money. There's a lot of money being spent in this albatross of a project. Who's paying for this? Originally, because it was this result of a state of emergency proclamation from DeSantis, FEMA was supposed to fork over the money, but they have yet to do so and are refusing to do so with good cause. And for some reason, this immigrant detention center isn't funded federally because it's all being done illegally and it's all being done slap dashes and being used as a place to disappear people. That's right. And the bill is given directly to the people of Florida. $1.5 billion currently estimated. And so Alzheimer and DeSantis family specialty is making this money fucking disappear. - Yeah, it's coming right out of your state. It's coming right out of it. It's making sure that your schools don't have proper stuff and it's making sure that your hospitals are understaffed and it's making sure that there's not enough people working on the traffic, like all the Department of Transportation. - No, they're getting most of the money. They're draining the hurricane relief fund. So if there's hurricanes this year, everyone's fucked. - Yeah, I mean, just imagine just anybody who supports, imagine anybody who supports this shit. Imagine what $1.5 billion could do for your county. - Yeah. - Like just not even your town, think about what it could do for your county. Like just $1.5 billion could do. And this is what they're doing instead. - See what it is is mediocre white people really, really upset that they aren't kings and queens of the universe automatically and they love the punishment. Though people who like this, if you do like this and you think that this is just, it's because you hate other people. - Yeah. - Some of the money meant for alligator Pelican has been used on private jets for politicians. lavish dinners in Tallahassee. - Oh, and you know where you spend your money for lavish dinners. (laughing) - Oh my God. - But you're overpaying for food in Tallahassee. - You fucked up. - Seriously, you're fucking alright. That even just you saying that makes me so brave. You would go to Tallahassee and spend that kind of money you fucking idiot when you have Miami. - The steakhouse. - That's what you're telling us. - Tallahassee sucks this. We all know it. - I mean, I like Tallahassee. - It's fine. - It's a great time there. But yes, it could use a little help. - It could use a once over. - I'm just saying that you're gonna blow your money, blow it and blow it in Miami. - Oh man. So they're spending all this shit on all these things and not involving getting these people proper care in the respect they constitutionally supposed to receive. So like so much else involving this administration, this giant ecological nightmareish torture device is just another way for these monsters to make themselves richer at the expense of the less fortunate and the expense of people trying to make themselves a better life at the expense of our neighbors. So I guess when we said give us your tired, poor and huddled masses, it was just so we could fill as many private prisons as humanly possible. That's pain in the Everglades. - Good work, Edward. - Thank you very much. Good work, Eddie. Really, really good stuff. - Shout out to Rachel Burke who did an amazing job researching this and Pat Barker who helped me write this piece. It was fucking, it's a lot, man. - Really good work, man. - Yeah, really good work, really tough stuff. But also when it comes down to it, that we will all be revealed and we'll get to it. Now I hope to leave eventually the snakes will overtake it. - Literally the actual snakes. - No, we have to keep talking about this shit. We have to let people know that this stuff happens. And I mean, and this is 100% within the last podcast area. - Oh, it's like, that's what you say it. Like this is the stuff that like, you talk about politics, like because the politicians we have never before been, or at least not in our lifetime, have been in a situation where the politicians are actually doing the things that we used to cover that happened decades ago, centuries ago. - That's why it is current, like we are living in a last podcast fucking timeline. - Yeah, and we're not doing this 'cause it's fun. We're not talking about this because this is, you're not much laughter we're doing here. Like no, we're talking about this because unfortunately there's three weird middle aged white dudes. No one else in our category is necessarily talking about this shit. So we are because they're all afraid. Everybody's afraid now. Everybody wants to keep every, every scent because everyone's so afraid of losing a market share of whatever it is they're working on because we have fucked these people, fucked them, fucked this shit. We are going to keep talking about it because we have to. - Yeah. - And it's true crime. (laughing) - It is, it's true. And don't let anybody make you feel crazy. - Yes. - Like that's that we got so many fucking emails from people after we did side stories last week at St. Luke's. Thank you for talking about this because every time I talk about it I feel fucking crazy. Don't let them make you feel crazy. - It is happening. - For being outraged about this shit. Like don't make-- - They're gaslighting you. - Yes, it is happening. - Other than Betty Asiola, every name I mentioned should be in prison. - Yeah, man, except for the ghost. - Yes. - That ghost is already free. (laughing) - So the ghost pilots as well because they sound like fun. - They are fun. - They are free. - They've never done anything wrong. Good work, Edward. - Yeah, good work. - Oh, great work. - patreon.com/lastpodgas and let's give this money for at free episodes. - Mm-hmm, yeah. - I've been talking a lot this week. (laughing) - And it'll be on the left as all the social meetings. You're going to want to look at that. Our Halloween album sold out. You'll never get it. - We're going to do that, don't worry about it. We're going to do-- - You're going to say we're going to have a lot of special announcements about our Halloween albums. So don't worry about that. But thank you to everybody who already purchased it. I can't believe it. Thank you so much. Go to YouTube to see our new stuff over there. Some place underneath LP and Romanticie, the foreign report. No dogs in the space is coming back. LP and TV's got HGX2 the second season. It is up there rolling out every week, every Thursday. And it is after the last stream episode drops. That drops over on LP and TV. Go check it out. - The playoffs started this week. - Yes. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Also on YouTube, go to the brighter side. LP and follow our new page. You can watch our episodes there. It's a lot of fun. - Oh, I believe it was my episode, where in which I was a judge on ACS, dude. - Oh, so good. - I believe that premiered this week. - It did, it did, yeah, dude. You were so fucking. I watched it last night, fucking stone to the gills. I was laugh. I never, full disclosure, I don't listen to our show. I don't watch anything I do. I hate it. I can't, I don't like my voice. I don't like seeing it myself. It's just like, you know, just people are bad to themselves. But I watched this shit and I'm laughing. And I'm having a great time and I hate everything I do. So, you guys, please go watch HGX2. I can't tell you how much I love it. - I based this character off of my brother Thomas. (laughing) - He's so nice, man, it's great. But he's, well, you know, he's beautiful. Come see us on the road. We're gonna be in Pittsburgh, May 29th. That's gonna be at the Carnegie Music Hall. Grand Rapids, Michigan, June 27th, over a GLC live, a 20-minute row. We're going to be at a Tulsa Oklahoma July 17th at Keynes Ballroom and on July 18th, we're going to be the tower theater in Oklahoma City. Also, I'm hitting the fucking road. I got a lot of shows Henry and I got some shows. Most of our stuff sold out, we got more stuff coming down the pipe. But June 7th, I'm going to be in Phoenix, Arizona at the Desert Ridge Improv. Make sure you check that out. And I got a show at Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, a salute to Bethlehem. That's July 10th, Newark, New Jersey, July 12th. That's where Jesus was born, Jesus from Pennsylvania. I knew he was from Pennsylvania, he could tell by his skin. Yeah, and all the casinos there. Plano, Texas, I got a show at the comedy store and in July and also Denver. I saw Mitch Hedberg at that club. Oh, really? Yeah, when I was in college, yeah, we drove to Plano. Yeah, so Mitch Hedberg there was fucking incredible. That's really cool. Yeah, I love that. And it makes me so happy. Well, guys, I love you. Thank you so much for listening to me rant about Florida. It makes me happy to spread the word about what's going on down there. And we'll be coming back. I believe with some true crime. Yes, no, no, no, we're coming back next episode. I believe is number six, six, six, six. Whoa, really? Yeah, we'll see. We'll see. Well, that might be a little bit of true crime in there. Wink, sex, sex, sex, sex. Hellsake, everyone. Oh, how can you? So you can go. Hell, Thomas Kennedy, who talked to me on the phone for a very long time, is an activist down there. He gave me a lot of inside information on alligator pelican. Fucking shout out to you, Thomas. Thank you for everything. Good work. And fuck Alvin Cater, Alcatraz. They can go fuck themselves. Fuck all of them.