Episode 578: Attention, Comparison, and the Hidden Cost of Reality TV

I guess it's Tony Robbins, you're listening to Habits and Hustle. Crescent. Hello, everybody, and welcome to another solo episode of Habits and Hustle, where I'm today joined with one of my favorite foilers, Johnny Suisa. But before we get into it, you guys, I'm always remiss, and I want to make sure I start by telling you guys, if you have not yet subscribed, please hit the subscribe button on whatever platform you are listening to this podcast because, or watching this podcast, because it makes a massive difference. And I've been told by many people that I keep on forgetting, which is true. And so I am now going to try to make a conscious effort to say before every episode. If you like what you hear, please subscribe. It just, it makes a big difference with the algorithm. So with that being said, I appreciate it. Thank you for being a listener or a watcher. And let's get into the episode. Johnny. Hello. Okay. So today we're going to be covering something that I actually, it's like a phenomenon that I have been very, I don't know, I've been like completely vacant on, which is this whole phenomenon on love Island. It's like a whole thing. It's a whole thing. Am I the only person not watching it that has absolutely zero idea of what's going on with this whole thing? No, I think a lot of people don't watch it, but honestly, it's just, it's a phenomenal show. But different seasons, different seasons create better or worse seasons. Like it's not, they're not all equal. Like genuinely, there are some summers where love Island is horrible and you just stop watching. Okay. Give me a hold on. Now you just, you just caught me off guard. How many seasons are there on the UK one? They're in the teens. They're like a season 15 or something. Oh my God. So am I literally living under a rock? Yeah. I mean, it's been going on for a long time. I've been watching the UK love islands in season one. Okay. So this is the thing. It's time to watch reality TV. I was never, I watched like the real housewives probably the first two or three seasons for the New York one, maybe like 100 years ago. Oh, wow. I don't have time. I would like to put it out there like who has time? If you have, if you have kids and a career and all these things, who has time to watch reality TV? Well, you would say the same thing about people who don't have time to work out. No, I wouldn't because that is really good for your mind and body. But to some people, that's a priority. Entertainment is a priority. Hold on. Reality TV is a priority. Yes. How does it make you better? To some people. To some people they prioritize entertainment. And so it's just a matter of, I think what you have time for in life is just a matter of what you prioritize. Okay. Yes. True. But I wouldn't have to stop you there because if you can actually sit here with a straight face and tell me watching reality TV is the same kind of situation as like exercising. It's completely different. No, I'm saying it's a matter of prioritizing. Right. I'm saying you ask the same question to a lot of people who say, I don't have time to work out. I can't do this. So many moms say that all the time or so many parents say that all the time. How when you have kids, can you possibly get the gym every day? Everybody uses that. So a lot of people would say the same thing. I think the response is the same response to both of those questions, which is like, okay, let me just in life, you have time for what you make time for. That is true. And I will have to agree with you on that. But I will say the benefits of what you get from working out are very much outweigh what happens when you watch reality when they're fighting and competitiveness and all these things. So that's the first thing. And I understand that people will watch it maybe kind of just a two note and kind of just have something like just to kind of get their mind off of whatever stress is in their in their life. Okay. With that being said, is love Island like the biggest reality show right now? Whatever happened to like real housewives or below deck and all these other shows? It's hard to say what the biggest is because when you're in it and you're in the fandom and you're like seeing all like your algorithm is so full of that stuff, then for you, it's bigger. But I don't necessarily think. I don't I don't get it. That's a good question. Actually, they did cancel a season of the bachelor at with Frankie. Oh, I saw it. Taylor Paul or something like that. And honestly, the Mormon girl, right? Yeah, I did see that. I thought that that was the craziest thing because they air movies, TV sports games with plenty of people who've been accused and convicted of so many things. And yet this one woman who like threw a chair at a guy who's honestly super abusive already, like now has her entire season taken off. Also, it's reality TV. I don't want to see the morally ethical, like, break ends of life on reality TV. True. I'm looking for messy, like air that season, the fact that they haven't aired that season is crazy. Well, I think it's because of the backlash they'll get. I know. But they get so many viewers. Oh, the money they've made. Right. But hold on. Hold on. This is a really good topic. And I'll tell you why. I know that this for whatever reason I do know, because this was such so in the zeitgeist, I think why that was different is that she, the girl, whatever her name is. I think that not only did she throw a chair at the guy, but she did it in front of her kid. So I thought they thought that was like somewhat of abusive or, you know, very traumatic for a kid obviously. But I get a lot of these same guys and men. Well, I mean, the NFL literally is playing out every single game with at least somebody who's like been, you know, accused. That is a domestic abuse. Like that's so many NFL. That's true, but I think ABC is a network that has to have airs football. Are they the, are they the, are they the, who does NFL football? I don't know. Who does Monday night football? She's a, I'm just saying. I'm just saying all these guys are, all these, all these networks are the same. And they just will cancel some, but like they just so frequently women are held to such a higher account than so many of these guys who get away with so many more things. I mean, the fact that like all the wives of the men in the Epstein list are the ones who are being asked the questions about their husbands. I find so funny, but yet none of the husbands are being asked any questions, like it's just hilarious. The great point of apologizing for, I'm like, what the hell did Polinda do? Like, this is just weird. Oh my gosh. We live in an upside down world. That is another great point. This is why I like to, this is why I like you as my foil because you have an opinion on everything. I do. And a good one at that, I think, I think that's actually very, I feel like that whole Epstein thing is very, it's become a very tired topic, but at the same time, it's extremely relevant. Like everybody just tries not everybody, there are certain people who in the upper echelons, just keep on trying to like put it under the rug, but yet I think that's a hundred percent true. Like, why? You're right. You're seeing like, you're seeing Hillary Clinton on being like, basically cross-examine, like she's a criminal who murdered seven people. You see Molinda having to do it, but yet I haven't seen one thing about, I haven't seen Bill Gates. No, not one. Well, I just thought you I have seen Bill Gates, I haven't seen Bill Clinton very often doing it. I haven't seen either. I've seen Bill Clinton on a few different social clips, but yeah, I think that that's an actually valid point. But I do think it's, of course, it's like very flipped, but we're like, we're, this is a whole other podcast for a whole other day. I know, I know. Back to reality TV. Yeah. I can't tell you if love islands the biggest one, but I will say that it airs every single night. It's like five days a week that are fresh episodes. And so I think every night. Yeah. And there's also the US and UK seasons happening simultaneously. So I feel like that just culminates into a ton of social content, which then makes it feel like it's the biggest reality show right now because that's why because I, I always see these clips that are referencing love Island and I have no clue what they're talking about at any given time. So you're telling me it's on every night, like a, it's kind of like jeopardy. It's like the new jeopardy or the new wheel of fortune. Yeah. It's every night except for like Wednesdays. It's not on. It's very sad on Wednesdays. And also there's one episode each week that's like a recap show. It's like an after something. Where's what network is it on? So the UK one is on Hulu and the US one is on peacock. And why they're on separate networks is beyond me. Really? Yeah. So which one is better? Um, the production of the UK is significantly better. They, I mean, they started the show. They get the premise better. I think the US, the US production actually had somebody pass away on their production team this season. And I, I don't know if what is the premise. Can you please tell me what the premise of the show is? It's everyone on an island. Yeah, but I will say the US team, like I think that they had, they took a toll on that production team. And I think it was worse this season because of that. Okay. And that's my theory. So the premise is you go on to a, in, you're in a villa with a bunch of other hot people and you're meant to couple up with somebody and the idea is to find like your person on this, you know, island. Yeah. During the summer. This is like the most cookie cutter situations. The same thing on the back. It's like you have to find a couple and if you're, if you're single, then you're vulnerable and you can only re-coupled during re-coupling ceremonies. And sometimes, you know, if the boys pick or the new, or the new people pick, then you're kind of like shut a lock and you don't have control over the situation. So you might even be sent home, even if you're like with somebody and really connected with that. Like there's so many different. Totally. I thought you just said that the whole thing is that when you get there, you have to couple up. Right. But let's say, for example, there's a re-coupling ceremony. Where does that mean? That's when they choose their couples, like every few days or whatever, there's a re-coupling ceremony where they get to either stay in their couple or re-couple. But it's not just like, you know, anybody gets to choose and it's all fair. Sometimes the guys pick, sometimes the girls pick, and almost always the newest people that they send into the villa get to choose first. So let's say somebody comes into the villa and they really like the guy that you've been with for the last two weeks and there's a re-coupling and they get to choose first. They might choose your guy. Now you're up there waiting to see who's going to pick you and maybe nobody is going to because you've been with this guy for a few weeks, you know what I mean? But can he say no and say, I want to stay with this girl? No. No. He has to then re-couple with them. He could like quit the show and leave if his person like at Suntome, which has happened a couple of times, but not frequently, because people are in it for the fame more. So they want to stay. Oh my gosh. This is actually, it's kind of like survivor, but in for dating. Ironically, they film the US season on the same island as survivor films and so they sometimes have reported that they can hear like survivor contestants from one of their like things can hear the Le Violin people while they're filming like partying and stuff. So imagine you're starving a survivor a dime and you hear a literal party happening on the villa of Le Violin's like, you know, across the way. - Can you just jump over the ocean? Or like-- - No, but how hilarious is that? - That is crazy. - They're both on Fiji, yeah. - Yeah. - But the thing with the show is it's changed so much over the years in terms of like the, just the quality of the actual dating aspect of it all because it becomes so much more of a launch pad for people's careers. Seasons one, two and three of the UK were something else. Seasons one and two, they had absolutely no idea that they were gonna have famous going into that show. - Season one, honestly. - Who are famous? Is there anyone I know that's famous from that show? - I mean, there's a lot, I mean, I don't know if you could know them. - I know that's a lot of people from that show that have, they've had mega careers. Anybody from the UK, from the first like 10th, they're millionaires, now they all make so much money, more of Higgins, all these people, they make so much money. In the UK, they became like these celebrities of the UK. Love Island was the craziest launch pad for people and so became like a lot more about the cloud. But actually, there's a few couples from one, two and three that are still together, which is pretty amazing. - How do you win? Is it a game? - Yeah, so technically you can win, but it's only $100,000. - But what's the game? And they make so much more after that and brand deals. It's like not even funny. - I know, but what's the, like what is the goal? - The America votes for their favorite couple. But America always votes for the most annoying couples. They're so wrong. Their opinions are always so obnoxious. I actually can't stand the audience as often. I find that they're so easily manipulated. The audience is, I can just like predict everything that they're gonna think and honestly, it always sucks. Like it just always sucks. And they're so mean. I've never seen such a cruel audience. Three people from love Island to date have killed themselves because of the turmoil and the insanity that comes from the fan base of the show. Yeah, one of the hosts, Caroline Flack, she killed herself. These were more early days though. And this guy, Mike and this woman Sophie. Sophie was on season two, I believe. And Mike was season three. - Because they were getting such bad. - Like, they're getting such insane hate from. - Yeah, Mike's nickname to the public was Muggy Mike, which in the UK to be a mug or like to be mugged off means you were like embarrassed or you were, you know, whatever rejected by someone publicly or whatever it is. And that was like his nickname to the public. I mean, this guy went through it from the fan base. - That's horrible. - Yeah. - Do they have a golden love Island? Like they have golden bachelor? - No, but that would be so funny. I would love to see that. That's actually a really interesting idea, right? - I think so because I feel like they do that for, I mean, they do that for the bachelor, but I don't know how successful it is. I don't know if that part of the franchise is doing as well as the OG one. - I don't know. I watched a couple of episodes. I didn't love it. I was like, this is cute, but whatever. - Well, yeah, because you're not interested in old people. - I'm not just like, you know what I mean? - You know what I mean? But I think the right cast could be good. (upbeat music) - Let me take a quick break to tell you about something that has genuinely changed how I performed throughout the day. For years, I just assumed that my mental sharpness had a ceiling that by mid afternoon, I was running on fume, slower to think, harder to focus, and even a little more irritable than I wanted to be. And I never really thought this supplement was gonna change that, but I was wrong. Since I started taking magic mind every morning, I think more clearly, I focused longer, and I'm much more productive in the afternoon than I used to be, and that actually surprised me. Magic mind is this daily two-ounce shot that gives you a sharper mind and sustained energy. It's built with clinically backed ingredients, like lion's mane, ashwaganda, tumeric matcha, developed over 10 years of research. This formula is nato encapsulated, meaning that your body absorbs the active ingredients five times more effectively than pills and powders. And every batch is third-party tested for purity and potency. So if you order today, you get 50% off your first order at magicmind.com. You can try risk-free for a hundred days and get a full refund if you're not satisfied. No questions asked. So that guarantee tells you everything that you need to know of how confident they are. You can also find magic mind in stores near you through their store-lake locator on magicmind. And I was a little skeptical too, but now I notice when I don't take it, and that's the only proof I need. So don't forget to check out magicmind.com to find out the stores near you and get 50% off your first order at, of course, magicmind.com. (upbeat music) - I will say one last thing though that I think is important on the current season's big differentiations between the UK and US that I've noticed within the actual cast. - For the violent, yeah. - The women on the UK season have been incredible at just being like, fuck you, I'm not taking anything from any of these guys who are gonna disrespect me or be rude or whatever. They just move on. They are so blunt. They're in their faces. They call things out. There's this one girl from Scotland. I forgot her name right now, but she's incredible. And really they've shown such a high. - Standard. - Yes, self-respect. It's been phenomenal to watch the US season. I actually have been honestly saddened to see like there are literally girls in there who are encouraging their girlfriends in there to stay with guys who have just been absolutely atrocious to them, walking all over them, lying to their face. And it's just been so disorienting. And the one girl in there who actually did stand up for herself all the time and did walk away and did speak up for herself and have self-respect is the one girl who all the fans seem to hate. - For no reason. - And who all of the girls in the villa were giving her a Kenzie, I love her. I mean, I just find that the fan base itself really needs to like take a look at itself before it engages online. Because some of these things that they put are crazy. A few of the US people came back and deactivated their Instagrams right away 'cause they were getting too much hate. - Really? - Yeah. - Crazy. So why do you think this show is like such a phenomenon more than, like I know you're saying, so what I'm kind of hearing from you is, it's because it's on five days a week. So the volume of shows is also you have UK and the US seasons are on together, okay? But besides those logistics, is there anything else about the show that you think kind of mimics or like kind of mirrors or something that's going on in our zeitgeist that makes people, 'cause I think in the real world, no one's really dating. So it's funny that everyone's on this island dating but in real life nobody's going out with each other. - Well I think, yes, there is things that are happening in the zeitgeist that happen in the show and so I do think that's why it resonates a lot. But no one's dating but they're still trying. Like people are out here wanting love, everybody wants love. And so they're watching a lot of the things that happen in the real world happen on live island. It's kind of like a microcosm for the shitty dating world of today. - Yes, I totally agree with you. - And you see it, you see it. And but you also see the way that, you know, it's like this girl Melanie, right? She's on the US season and she's been so battered by this guy and you can just see the light completely dissipate from her face from episode one to the end. And I think a lot of people can relate to that feeling. And so, you know, while we can all kind of get on her case about staying with him or doing this, so many people find themselves in a lot of these stories. - And yeah, it pulls you in, it really does. - Well, anything's like an emotional, it's a, it's a, it's what you call it. Everything like that, like that pulls on your heart screen or curiosity, what's going to happen. But I just find again, that that's the one show I hear all about. The other one I hear a lot about is love on the spectrum. Have you heard of this one? This one is so popular. - So great. - People love it. - It's great. - Because it's so honest and earnest. Do you have, have you seen that one? - Yeah, I've watched a few episodes. I love how blunt they are. - Well, that's the thing. People love it 'cause it's like real. 'Cause most of everything else you're watching is so contrived, so performative. And that's one show that you probably cannot be performative or contrived because they are who they are. Right? So people love it though. People find it to be super endearing. It's like probably the number one show on Netflix. - It's great. It's fun to watch people just speak their truth without any regard for anything else. Like they are just on it. They'll sit down and be like, I don't like you. I love it. - It sounds like me actually. - And they're like, I don't like you too. I'm not having fun. But let's leave, you know, like they're just so, I mean, they just tell it out what it is. - Yeah, I love it. - It sounds like you too. - It makes it scream. - I tell you, maybe that's why I resonate with, that's the one show. I'm like, oh, I wouldn't maybe watch that episode. Okay, so what else is there to say about love Islanders or anything about the reality world, like reality TV? - You know, well, you know, I used to have a podcast about reality TV for so long. - No, I had no idea actually. - So Saniac podcast was about MTV's "The Challenge" and we would cover other reality shows. But I will just say like this goes across the board for all reality TV. The audience needs to just take a beat. Like they need to take the biggest beat possible because they have to understand how much production goes into making an entertaining. You're filming people 24 hours a day and you're giving us the juiciest juice and you're trying to make it a storyline that is going to fire us up as an audience. The audience just eats it up and they feed into all of the crazy things. like death threats and hates and this, that and the other. You know, it's just par for the course for a lot of these people who go on these shows and it's kind of sad to see. So I will just end off on that. Like I think that is one of the most important takeaways that the viewers need to just come home with. If you're like on threads out there, I'm always on threads like at all these threads for directions who a has the interest or the time you be surprised to even like comment on this shit. I mean, they get I don't get. They start attacking family needs people need to get a life. I mean, yeah, I am just again, you could say whatever you want and you can say that, you know, whatever you people, everyone prioritizes different things. But if this is your priority to watch reality TV, you need to take a hard look at yourself. And then if you're someone also who feels the need to comment like comment and bully somebody, that's even more pathetic. I just think all of this is like, look, like kind of like work on yourself. I don't even know how people, like I said, I'm going to start the podcast. Just the way I started the podcast, which is, I don't know where people find the time. I honestly do not. Maybe because I'm too busy working out in the gym. Five hours a day, no, I'm joking, I do not. So no, don't come after me. But what I'm saying is like this is this is like the demise of I think our our society and our culture is that we it's a comparison all day. It's feeling, it's feeling less than it's looking at other people living their lives as opposed to living our own life. And so to me, this is just another example of how we get to invested in other people and not enough, not invested enough on what we're doing and how we're doing it. So with that being said, maybe next time you want to watch Love Island, maybe listen to a habits and hustle podcasts. (laughing) Thank you, Shawnee, we're gonna end it there unless you have anything else you want to add. - No, I think that was good. I think just, you know, you can watch a show but just do so with Grace. - Be kind. - That wasn't my point. Thank you. And goodbye everyone, have a wonderful day or night depending on when you're listening or watching and don't forget to subscribe. (upbeat music)