Episode 48: Dealing with WHAT IFs

Hello. Hello. Podcast Network Asia. Welcome to the Trying Hard Podcast, brought to you by Podcast Network Asia and Pod Matrix, where we believe that it is a very good idea to try hard. It's not a good idea to not try at all, right? This is like a Maravelia, a registered psychometrician, a trying hard educator, motivational speaker and author, and it's time for us to share stories, insights and lessons as we keep trying hard to be better together. What are your what-ifs? And is it even good for you to think about them? We're going to talk about them in this new Trying Hard Podcast episode. Alright, now, let's start with the series of Marvel's Marvel's What Ifs and this podcast episode is a little bit inspired by Zad. But it's not that unique experience. A lot of us look through our lives thinking, "What if I'm already dead?" Or, "I'm already dead." Or, "I'm already dead." "What ifs?" "What ifs?" "What ifs?" "What ifs?" Now, looking back in my life, there are a number of what-ifs. But I have learned to manage these things. Knowing that there's limitations in our work, if we always sit around and think about what could have happened. And so, I'm going to share my experience in this episode. And when it comes to your what-ifs, and the one I know more about it, the question would be, "What if I'm dead?" Now, what I would say is that it's good to a certain extent if you're talking about or thinking about options. If you're exploring options for current or future choices, it's actually a great idea to think about what ifs. I'm seeing what if I make this decision and what I'm going to add. What if this happens and what if I quit my job? Do I have enough for an emergency fund? What if I do this and what I'm adding my add. Again, it's good. Do I certain extent if we're thinking about future decisions or present decisions? Going through that exercise, looking at the scenarios, looking at the fact or the possibilities, the risks can give us more insight into a new map, possible in my add, and at that, make a swiser when it comes to making that decision. We'll see how real the situation is. I'll put my hands up to make sure that if I move out, I have enough resources to last me so I won't lose my hands firmly. All of these things we think about when we explore our what ifs. But, back to what we've been to a certain extent. Because it means looking through all the scenarios then, all the what ifs means that we feel paralyzed. Because we can end up having factors that we don't have control. And if we only stay in the possibility of a lot of change will bring about a certain risk or a new risk that we can achieve, we don't have any of that. Let me give you an example. If what if we're talking about what if I start a business? What if I quit my job and start a business? Now, if you go through all possible scenarios, you'll see that your quit job is a start in business, but you won't get it. That is a valid scenario. But if you start to make calculations, it's like, okay, profitable because I'm not going to take it first. So we'll have a batch, a pre-order of my product, everything sold well, the projection I've conservatively made for the first few months. It's a little hard, but I'll control it. And that's what's good. That could be a calculated risk. But to eliminate the risk of things falling apart or if you're still thinking of what you're doing, I don't think you're doing what you're doing. You know, that's what we're going to do when we play the idea of faith. We believe that even if there are risks, even if there are outside factors, God is still in control. Or if you don't believe in God, faith, that Hannah is still in control. And it's a huge lesson I think that we've been doing for years because no one really saw the pandemic coming. We were expecting that people would be trapped in their houses. Now we would have to go through this with our loved ones and even, again, no loose loved ones because of it. And if anyone calculated that risk, it's not that we're going to lose our attention. So you have to really think about, or what ifs as a way to form an informed decision. But indeed, you should have been able to do that for us not to make a decision at all. So eliminate nothing new fear. Don't say, "Equation" on it. Now the next thing I would say would be, "Okay, good shot if you're looking at future or present decision." "Skella naman siya bad." Now I would say that it's bad to a certain extent then. If you are dwelling on things and comparing things that could have happened, no one has any assurance of what we're doing. And then comparing that with your current situation. Now what I mean by that, some people think of what ifs as, "Okay, what if I ended up with this person?" Instead of the one I'm married right now. And then sometimes, on the reality, which is this is a sad reality, they dwell on that thought. "Amas orhe yton personatora sa kong sinigasamahayon." So now they start to fall in love with the idea when they made a mistake in the past, things would have been better if they only stuck to their guns and they lose the opportunity to build a future with the life that they currently have, with the person that they currently are in a relationship with. They are more likely to look back and see what if we can compare that idea of our picture to them. Now why is that? We have to understand that as human beings, we have to understand that it's a human being. It comes to our dreams unless you are a bit of a pessimist like I am. Although I'm a pessimist, I would say I'm a realist. But there are people who think what if they are a bit of an ideal situation. I can't stop working on it. I'm a millionaire. I'm a good person. I'm a good person. Without thinking about the possible factors that could have affected that timeline. What do you mean? Oh, I'm a good person. If you have a job position, you can also take part in the first few weeks. But if you know that in your heart that it's soul crushing because you're not passionate about it, you're not on purpose. You're also an illegal activity. You're not. You're not very likely to say that you're more likely to be a good person because you're more likely to be a good person because you're not the values or standards. You're more likely to say that your soul will die in your heart because you know what you're doing. So again, let's move on to the possible factors. Let's be as grounded in realism as possible when we look through our what-ifs in the past. Ask ourselves how real is this projection? What are the things I can control that could corrupt your possibility? Let's say with each what-if comes a new set of problems that maybe you don't have right now, right? And the thing is with us being interrelated, that's what it is. Effecting each other in the way that we turn out to be possible then that you don't have to be happy but you're people around you. Someone who is your best friend right now, what has been maybe a rival, a better rival, if you're in a decision more? When we change to the timeline, we change the entire thing. So, you don't have to think that you're what-if is better than what you have. Now, what do we do then when things are what-if? We're just doing what we have because we're just going to be able to do it. It's not that. Because it's the right thing to do. But I will talk about what we need to think about then if you know what I mean, it's good to a certain extent, if it's about current and future decisions, it's bad about the past, if you're a hamper or if you're more sad or more comfortable. What are we going to do then when things are what-if? I have three tips for you and we'll talk about it right after the break. 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If you're a podcaster, trying hard-maging podcaster or trying hard that sumusubuk palang make sure that you sign up by clicking the link in the description of this episode and use my referral code trying hard isang salita lang yun trying hard makadubto so you can monetize your podcast too. Okay? Okay, now, I don't know what we're going to do so what if then? How do we use this as a tool instead of using us or it being our cage because we don't have time to do anything so what if? Now, the first thing I would say would be for you to know as much as you can and know then you can't know everything. Now, what do I mean by that? When we look at looking at what if as in "mangapay di kongga-bayan" or "decision-stime" going to make in the future, and apakah lagat, we have all the information that we need to make a good decision. So, Hindi enough, okay? Sienaabika sito naman, aigo or Sienaabika sito nang best friend, go, Hindi. You have to do our own research. If your mom tells you, "Dito ka mag-ricks sa kampaniyat tokasi maganda," maganda if you also look for other people who have experience in the company. Now, what do you think of the industry standard? What do you think of the practices that you are envisioning that you are able to align with you? Because say that way, when we make our what-ifs, when we make our scenarios, when we run through the possibilities, must accurate, instead of us looking at things through rose-collard glasses, we have seen it, you might buy a stylus on the head, but if you have as much information as possible. Now, the second tip would be this, you need to be honest with yourself. Now, I say that adding this little bit of karuk tong, which is, we need to be as objective as possible. We need to take ourselves and our emotions out of the situation. Because if we start piling on the emotional natin, we will not be able to explain the feelings of feelings. In the situation we are not in the end, we will explain things away even if it's not good for us. We will not be able to explain it. That's how we do things. So what do we need to do? We need to be honest with ourselves. I know the choice of this. I know the fact that I want to compete in this option A. Even if my what ifs, all the scenarios I ran says that this is not a viable option. Now, if you say I choose option A because I feel it in my guts, or I feel for this person, if we're talking about suitors, for example, then you just need to be honest with yourself. Yeah, I was practical choice, B and C, but I feel a certain connection with you. You could say that. You could be as honest as possible. Now, why do we need to do that? For us, if we are not sure about our future, or if we are talking about our present, our future, looking back, we don't have time to regret. Because we don't have time to regret. Because we have a decision. So we can be honest with yourself. We all have biases. And the moment that we deny, we have a bias, the moment that, you know, very obvious or blatant, we can see our bias. So whether bias, or not, whether preference, even if you are a little bit different, or not, or a specific feeling, just say it. It's better to be honest. And now, the third thing is to learn and let go. It may seem like two different steps, no? But I think I'm going to say it in a specific way because he can't have one without the other, without either of them being too bad for you. Sometimes when we want to learn things, we can't let go. And I'm saying that because I'm kind of that person. I tend to geek out. That's what I can, I can, I can own that title of geek. If I'm interested in something, I would spend hours pouring over text, pouring over any material I could find. I can see the topic of that. If I want to hobby, I would buy materials, I would study, I would try it for hours then. And when we do that, we will let go, the problem is that we get so fixated. We will do a single-minded dialogue that we will do single-minded, narrow-minded, and when it comes to looking at what, if we are not able to do it, we have to look at everything. And so we will just let go. Now, we will do it then when we let go, and we don't choose to learn. And again, there are people who are like that. And then, it's in the past, they are already there. But it's all right. Did you learn from that possibility? Did you learn from a decision that you made in the past that you made? Because if you are not able to do it, you are bound to encounter the same problem in the future and you are bound to make the same mistake again. So again, number three, you have to learn and let go. [Music] You know, when I was younger, and that's a Sunday school, because I was a Sunday school kid. And you know how the story goes, if you were raised to question, the story of Israelites coming out of Egypt, there's something that bogged me about that story when I was young. Because our teachers would always teach it like this. They would say, "You are the Israeli people in Egypt." So now they are wondering about the promise land. And every time they would have difficulties, much like what we have sometimes in our lives, you know, it's just a lot of energy, it's just a case. There's no meat here, no food, no water, they would grumble. The word used there is grumble. They would grumble and complain. And they didn't know that I complained. They would say something like this. "Put it in Egypt." What if the classic thing is the same? "Put it in Egypt." Even though I was slave, we were able to eat more. We were able to eat more. Even though they knew that again, the situation is really different. At least, I mean, a lot of people would say, "It's better to eat more." "It's better to eat more." "It's better to eat more." When I was young, I was not able to eat the straw or break or whatever. But people would always say that. Even if I was able to eat more in Egypt, I would eat more in my life. And when our teachers would talk about this Bible story, they would obviously say, the Israelites were content, content in their situation. They didn't feel grateful to the people in Egypt. And that's the key takeaway that the story was in the park. And when I was young, I was just sitting in the Israeli side. So I said, "I'm afraid that you will see that you are a slave." But when I grew older, I realized something. And if there's one thing that you will take away from this episode, guide, it'll be okay in the end. It's the fact that we don't see what we have. A lot of times, we don't see what we have. We laugh at, "You are the one who will be able to eat more." "You are the one who will eat more." Or, "You will eat more." But it's true for all of us, regardless of our age. We don't see and appreciate what we have right now. We keep looking to, "Okay, if you are able to eat more, or if you are able to eat more, if I chose this, it would have been different." But we don't see what we have. And when we compare what we have to the worst possibility when the things that are not in the Bible, you would always find a little bit of comfort in knowing that this was where we're always supposed to be. Now, I know in the absolute, a lot of people are in difficult situations right now. Lalo nga yon. But when you know in your heart that even if you are able to eat more, or if you are able to eat more, you would always find a little bit of comfort in knowing that you are able to eat more. And when you know in your heart that you are able to eat more, you would always find a little bit of comfort in knowing that you are able to eat more. Again, the important thing is knowing the purpose, knowing the extent, knowing the limitation of what is the reason. Make me think that we learn from, think that we let go, and think that we apply in the future. Make me make us more wise, make me make us more open and flexible than, knowing that even if we knew everything we knew now, at the Babalik Taya in our past, we would probably have made the same decisions. We grow over time and so to take back everything we learned in our past, we'll bring us back to where we started in the first place. If I buy a few of these, when it comes to timelines, when it comes to time travel, you could watch new mod different amount movies or series about that, but the idea usually is the same. We have the power to make certain choices in our lives and that could start right now, not in the past. Okay? So I hope you had a bit of encouragement from this episode. I hope you enjoyed it. Maybe you've got a lesson, but I'm hoping you're still picking up things from this. If you don't want to miss anything or new episodes, we have more things to talk about. Don't forget to follow this podcast. And again, don't forget to check out the new content, I think TikTok. Yes, we take it off now trying hard. It's called trying our podcast on TikTok. You know, super caught, snetting, throwbacks at your dad. And if you want to share something that you learned or if you're missing your dad or anything like that, you can use the hashtag #ChineHardWithFlyka. But I'm a hand up now and I'm in a new world post social media. Thank you guys and thank you guys for keeping us on the charts, but the things to spot if I at Apple Podcast. I'm really grateful for that. And as we always say, it's a podcast, not a dream big work hard start now. And don't be afraid to be called trying hard. I'll talk to you next time. Organization, company, individual or anyone or anything.