Episode 46: ADHD & AuDHD Workplace Accommodations: Your Rights & How To Ask

I had planned to do an episode on this topic a long time ago and then just never did. And then the election happened and then I thought, is there a point to doing an episode about ADHD, ADHD, and the Americans with Disabilities Act? Isn't that just going to get obliterated any minute? And it might. But I think this is still an important episode because for now, a lot of the law still stands and this is an episode about giving yourself accommodations and just helping you realize that at one point, even if it all goes away, ADHD, ADHD is classified as an actual disability, meaning this is something to take seriously, even if it's just between you and you, okay? If you've been in a meeting and your brains checked out three minutes in and you're smiling and nodding, like you understand what's going on, but also fighting an internal spiral of shame because you know you are missing something important. This is why you need this episode. I will be talking about ADHD, ADHD in the workplace and how this invisible disability shows up on our jobs and what our rights are under the ADA, the Americans with Disabilities Act, how to actually ask for accommodations and what to do if your workplace is not that accommodating. I will talk about the real ways that ADHD affects our work lives, from productivity spirals to burnout, to having to do too much to prove our worth. I will walk you through what the law protects and what it doesn't and how you can advocate for yourself without needing a law degree or a lawyer or having a nervous breakdown. I'll share research and quotes from professionals, legal experts, coaches. And I will give advice for remote workers, federal employees and people working in environments that aren't built for our brains, which I think is almost everybody. So this is a great episode that's not just about some political act, but it's for you if you are feeling unseen and unsupported and unsure of yourself. Stay tuned. Has anyone ever said to you, um, you're kind of a lot. If they have, this podcast is your new favorite show. Welcome to you are a lot in ADHD, ADHD podcast. I'm your host, Jen Curtin. In this show, I talk about my personal experience of my later in life diagnosis as an ADHD human. That is ADHD and autism spectrum disorder. I discuss the latest research and I aim to create an affirming lesson from neurodivergent people helping us all to feel less confused, more connected, and as a result, fully validated. Hey, everybody, as we get into the episode, I just want to remind you that there may not be a ton of stuff about jobs that aren't just office, paper, pushing, computer, kind of jobs. Those are the jobs I've mainly had in the last 30 years, including working from home in those capacities, although I did tour for a living as a comedian and stand on stage and there was no office involved. And I've worked in grocery stores and all kinds of jobs where I was on my feet. I've been a waitress, hopefully the point of what I'm saying can apply broadly, but there are a lot of officey examples. And that is my point of view, I guess, these days. Second, I will be rolling my eyes along with you at some of the suggestions from the experts. It's not that they're wrong, but we roll our eyes at things that sound so obvious and simple. I would say two things to that one is sure, it sounds simple, but are we doing it? And two, I will say a lot of times we may know exactly the right thing to say and we may have the quote guts to say it, but we know it won't be received well. And at that point, that's what the Americans with disabilities act as for, but then that can feel so overwhelming. I mean, I understand that this all just sounds so perfect in a perfect world and we don't live in one. That's why there are going to be two components to this episode. One where I will read you what is out there that the experts say that the Americans with disabilities act covers. And then after I get through that, I will tell you what one of my favorite neurodivergent issues, ADHD, writers, thinkers, genius, content creators, Lindsey McGrath says because she believes that current workplace accommodations are archaic and she has a guide on alternative inclusive workplace design practices. And again, although hers are great, it's not something that anyone can just do, but I mean, you can technically, but you may not have the power in your office to do it. Whatever. There's a lot of, I know, I know, I know in going through my head as I say everything I'm about to say, but I think this is important information to have. And I know a lot of times in our brains, we can be very rigid in our thinking. We can be black and white. We can have kind of a child brain that says, no, this isn't possible. Or we were never taught what's possible. We weren't taught that we could advocate for ourselves. And we just need to hear what is baseline normal out there to ask for, whether or not we end up doing it, whether or not it's received well. Just know this is actually and factually, okay, all right. This is how ADHD shows up at work before I get into asking for accommodations. Let's just refresh all the ways that we can struggle. The signs aren't always as obvious as people think like, oh, I forgot to respond to an email. Yes, that's part of it. But the things that make me spiral is the deeper stuff, the identity stuff. According to the ADDA website, ADHD shows up at work in these most common ways. Trouble organizing and learning new information. Now one quick thing I just have to interject, it's not that we aren't smart and can't learn new information. And a lot of us love to learn new information, but it would depend on how it's presented to us. If we're not a charts and graphs person and we're being presented with new information in a meeting that may not land. And in those moments of having difficulty learning new information because of the way it's presented, we might not stop and think, oh, this is simply just a way that my brain doesn't work. I'm not stupid. This just isn't how I would choose to have information given to me. To a difficulty maintaining focus in long meetings or doing repetitive tasks that aren't interesting to us, procrastination that feels like paralysis, spoiler alert next week. I will be talking in depth about ADHD paralysis, forgetting deadlines, appointments or instructions, even when we just wrote them down. Did we actually look at them? Do we understand what we wrote? Poor time management, getting overwhelmed by juggling too many tasks, and that could be maybe you're being given too many tasks or we've procrastinated on things and now we've got the everyday things to do plus the backlog. Physical restlessness, fidgeting, shifting in your seat, getting up constantly or wanting to get up constantly, but not feeling that you can in front of everybody, emotional impulsivity could snap at a coworker or the other kind where you are too nice, impulsively or offering to take on way too much. You're like, "What did that just fly out of my mouth?" And the feeling exhausted from trying to mask all of it. And if you recognize yourself in more than one of those, obviously you're in the right place. You're not failing. You are really not failing. You are operating in a workplace that is designed for neurotypical brains and I'm going to go a step further. That I don't even think neurotypical brains want to function in these environments, but I think they can. I think a lot of times our workplace is designed for a corporate culture that no longer works in today's day and age. It was established a long time ago. Things have changed. That's a whole other topic. Don't get me started. But I want to highlight something from an article written by Beth Main, she's an ADHD coach and therapist. She says when we get overwhelmed at work, we could be told by others to just focus harder, make a list. But what we need in those moments is to stop and regroup. I mean, I know you know making lists is a thing and we love to make lists. So a lot of times when someone says, just make a list, we say, we know, we're doing that. Still not working. This is where Beth's situation could come in handy. So she has a three part method. Stop. And if you can, change your location. Step away. It's just step away from your desk out into the hallway, go to the bathroom and breathe. For me, I'm not a big believer that deep breaths are the solution. Everything is natural. We breathe deep shallow, shallow is not recommended, but deep doesn't have to be anything. Just be breathing. I'm going to add to that and say when you step away to breathe, exhale, all the air out of your body and just let your body return to natural breathing. And notice if you're clenching anywhere, are you clenching your jaw or your shoulders up around your ears? I'm adding that to Beth's great three part method. Okay, the second one is regroup. Tune into what your body is doing. This is, she does now mention tension. I shouldn't have jumped the gun, but notice if you have any tension. Take in the sounds around you. As I always say, you're not just ahead, you are a body and three gain clarity. Ask yourself what exactly is stressing me out right now. Figure it out and what's the next smallest step I can take. That's if it's a literal work problem, right? What if it's what's stressing you out is, I'm worried about the future at this job. What's the next smallest step you could take there is sorting out what's real about that fear? Is there something going on? Are there budget layoffs or are you just feeling imposter syndrome? And just in that moment, let yourself know that you may be doing some catastrophic thinking and that's okay, but we're not going to go down the rabbit hole. Or there might be some real realities of what's stressing you out. What can you do right now about it? What's within your control in this moment? So to put it succinctly, stop regroup gain clarity. It's much more ADHD friendly than forcing yourself to make a list that you're not going to look at anyway. We'll talk more next week about task paralysis, but another ADHD coach and author named Karen McGill uses the head, heart, and hands check in. I really like this one. The head check in. Ask yourself, is this task too big? Do I even have the skills to do this? By the way, anybody could ask that, a neurotypical anybody, right? This is a very normal thing to ask. Two, the heart check in. Ask, am I afraid I'm going to mess this up? Am I afraid to be judged? And what's going on with your feelings? And three, the hands check in. Have I eaten? Have I slept? Have I gotten up out of this weird position I'm sitting in like a pretzel? Have I moved? Do I physically feel okay right now? And that can be hard for us ADHDers with our proprioception and our interreception issues. But just assume if you have not eaten since you've woken up, you should eat something. Have a sip of water. Stand up, shake your legs out, if you can. If you are not able bodied, shake out whatever you can, or even do it in your mind. These internal check-ins can be our survival skills. Because if we are disorganized, distracted, flooded with anxiety at work, it doesn't mean we are unqualified. And I know you know this, but do you? It doesn't mean you're unqualified. It means you're unsupported. And that's why knowing your rights and knowing some accommodations that you can give to yourself without anyone ever knowing really matters. All right, I'm going to walk you through what the Americans with Disabilities Act covers, what people with ADHD are entitled to under the law, and then how to go about asking for this support. That is legally entitled. That you are legally entitled to. I promise this will not be in legalese. Okay, unfortunately the Americans with Disabilities Act sounds empowering in theory, but it can be a little confusing and it may not solve every problem of yours at work. But ADHD is recognized as a disability under the ADA when it substantially limits one or more major life activities on the job. Now you might think, oh well then I don't qualify. Because you're so used to pushing through, masking. You have imposter syndrome about having ADHD, all of the things. Think harder about that. If when I just said that you felt defeated and felt, oh, well, that's not me. It substantially limits one or more major life activities. That includes a major life activity is learning, concentrating, processing information. All of the things that our executive functions do control our emotions or regulate, not control, but regulate our emotions, regulate our time management skills, our working memory. All of these are compromised if you have ADHD. And whether you feel it or not, it is substantially limiting you work, not you, but like it's substantially limiting how you go about things at work. Even if you don't feel it, you might be masking and pushing through. If you come home at the end of the day exhausted, but you love everyone at work, you love what you do, you don't get it, you've slept plenty, you're healthy, it might be all that masking, which means that your disability is limiting your life activities at work because you have to pretend you don't have it because you are not supported or accommodated. If your ADHD causes you to really struggle with staying focused, managing your time, completing tasks without constantly stopping and doing something else, or even filtering out distractions in your environment, that can qualify as a disability under the law, which is great news. And don't forget, like I talked about, I think it was episode four of this podcast. ADHD is known as an invisible disorder, sometimes it's also called an invisible disability. We're not coming in on wheels, on crutches, with a brace around our neck. You can't see ADHD unless someone is really spiraling, then you can totally see it. At least with me, if you see me dropping things and just unable to answer your question and when you're trying to help me and say can I grab that from you, I'm like, you can see it. Okay, so here's a little more of the facty fact stuff. If your employer has 15 or more employees and you have a diagnosis, they are legally required to provide in quotes, their quotes, not mine, reasonable accommodations, unless doing so would cause this company an undue hardship. Hey, if you are a lot, you probably are someone who wants a lot more out of everything, right? Including this podcast, I've got a lot more for you over at the Patreon. Before you click away, let me just tell you some of the cool things that I have going on over there. There are ad free episodes that come out a day early, entire episodes that are not for the public. They're just for Patreon members once a month, big bonus episode. There are gen chats, those are shorter episodes, five to ten minutes long, where I talk about my life with ADHD and ADHD a little more personally. There are live events like live on Zoom, ask me anythings with me. There are live courses that I'm going to teach as well. And there's a private chat community and you can chat with other people who listen to the podcast, who yes, they have ADHD and ADHD as well. There are image and captioned episodes. If you like to read and watch while you listen, I know that helps me with my auditory processing. And there are also transcripts of every episode, not done by AI, done by me. With all of the research highlighted, you can save them as a PDF, you can print them. There is so much going on over at Patreon and there are three different price points depending on what you want and what you can afford or what you want to spend. And there's always a great deal going on where if you join for a year, you get 15% off. Come on over patreon.com/a lotADHDPod. You can just go to my website, genkirkman.com. And you can click the link in the show notes. But if you're like, I don't know what a show notice. Again, it's patreon.com/a lotADHDPod. All right, what does that mean? Reasonable accommodations, sound vague, but there are clear examples and they do not require a company to turn their operations upside down. Susan Yellen, who's a lawyer, wrote an article about accommodations for ADHD and she said those can include. And again, these are the accommodations that do not put your employer out in any way and that are legal, providing a quiet workspace, allowing noise canceling headphones or white noise, offering flexible work from home options, reassigning you to a different role that's a better fit for your brain, adjusting how training materials or policies are delivered, letting you use assistive tech like timers, apps, or visual planners and minimizing non-essential duties so you can focus on your core responsibilities. That's not the whole exhaustive list, but this gives you an idea of what's in the realm of what's reasonable. Now to be covered by the ADA, you do have to disclose your diagnosis and not all of you may be comfortable with that. And there is no right or wrong. It is completely personal. Now, of course, in my opinion, I'm very sad that some of us don't disclose it, including myself. People know, but I don't ask for accommodations. I'm just able to do them. That's the environment I'm in. But if you are not going to disclose your diagnosis, some of the things I just read might be things that you could just do without asking. I mean, I don't understand why using noise canceling headphones would be something you have to alert people about, but I don't know your weird job. So to be covered, you have to disclose your diagnosis. So unlike someone with a visible disability, if you don't say anything, your employer can't read your mind. And multiple courts have ruled that if an employer doesn't know you have ADHD and they don't know how it affects your ability to work, they cannot be held accountable for failing to accommodate. So if you've never told anyone and you've never been accommodated because you've never told anyone, you can't go so in your boss saying, "Excuse me, I'm protected under the ADA." Sort of, but only if you ask for accommodations. First, the website Chad reports that a lot of people with ADHD wait too long to disclose their diagnosis. A lot of times people disclose that they have ADHD a little too late after they've been put on probation and at that point it probably doesn't help. When you do disclose, if you choose to, the Chad website recommends showing up with two or three realistic suggestions for accommodations plus written documentation from a doctor confirming your diagnosis and functional limitations. You don't need to give your full medical history, but your employer needs clarity about what you need and why. This makes me so anxious, I'm just going to be honest. I feel like even having to advocate for ourselves means that we are still so grossly unsupported, you know? I don't know your boss and I'm not trying to scare you. But I can only imagine that there are some people out there who, when you say to them, I have a disability, not the cute kind that you can condescendingly feel bad for me about. You know, like I don't have the use of my legs or I don't have sight, but I'm telling you my disability impacts my ability to think on the job. I believe sometimes that's where a boss stops listening. I don't think people understand how the accommodations make you able to do your job as well as everyone else, maybe even better if you're just one of those people that's awesome at work and you probably are. And I guess I just don't need to have anxiety. I just want to acknowledge that it makes me anxious and that I know some of you might be listening and going, "Yeah, all right, I'm going to do that." I get it. And that's what makes me so upset that really there isn't a better way, at least not now, there's not. Okay, so with federal workers, this gets a little more political. Under section 501 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973, federal agencies are specifically required to provide reasonable accommodations to employees with disabilities, including ADHD. And even with shifts in leadership, should I say, so I don't have to say his name, that legal foundation, as of this recording, on Monday, May 19th is when I'm recording this, that legal foundation has not changed. According to the ACLU, even though this current administration has pushed for mandatory in-office returns for federal workers, they cannot legally override protections in the Rehabilitation Act. In other words, if under that act you have the right to do some flexible work from home working, you are still legally protected from this administration telling you, "No, you have to go back into the office 40 hours a week." The Office of Personnel Management sent out a memo reminding federal workers that agencies should not terminate or prohibit accessibility or disability-related accommodations, assistance, or other programs that are required by the Rehabilitation Act or related laws. If you're a federal employee and your disability requires remote work, your agency is still legally obligated, as of Monday, May 19th, to provide that accommodation, no matter what any executive order from that dictator says otherwise. And the data shows that the number of disabled employees in the federal workforce has grown. According to a report from the Partnership for Public Service, from 2020 to 2023, the number of Americans with disabilities in federal jobs increased by 33%, rising to 7.9 million. That's 7.9 million federal workers have some kind of disability that is covered under the ADA, meaning their accommodations are covered legally. And in 2023 alone, 21% of federal workers identified as having a disability or serious health condition. Of those, over 10% had undisclosed or non-visible disabilities like ADHD. So yes, even if some policies are shifting towards go back to the office, the legal requirement to accommodate you not going back has not gone away. You're not entitled. I know that the challenge now is that this is a cultural battle, especially with hit pieces from the New York Times and RFK saying people with ADHD and autism, you know, first of all, need to be cured, stopped, put in work camps. No. That you might not be extreme like that. You may not know people that are, but it trickles down, right? You know what I want to say? Go at this analogy. You know that speech in the Devil Wars Prada, the famous Meryl Street speech where Anne Hathaway says, well, I still know about this stuff. And she says this stuff, oh, so fashion is something you think you're exempt from. Well, this stuff, that blue sweater that you got in some discount bin is Cerulean blue. And I'm not doing the whole monologue correctly, but the just is, you know, Cerulean blue. And did you know that last year Cerulean blue was the color on the runway. And all of the designers did things in that color. And then it trickled down to mass market, you know, the gap and found its way into some bargain bin where you think you selected that sweater. But in fact, it was selected for you. That's what I mean when I say things trickled down. You may not be wearing the Cerulean blue thing that Prada designed and was on a model. You may not be wearing a couture. But if you are wearing a Cerulean blue sweater in the same year that that color was all the rage on the runway, that trickled down to the clothes that you buy, even if you have no interest or no money in buying Prada. And so even though you may not be RFK extreme, the attitudes trickled down to everybody to where you find yourself saying little things, the equivalent of a blue sweater and a discount bin things like, well, I just, I mean, I do think it is, you know, maybe he shouldn't be the one looking at it, but we do need to look into how many people are getting diagnosed with ADHD. No, we don't. It's not too many. No, we don't. You have no facts about why the numbers are going up. You know what I mean? Things like that. Okay. Back to what I was saying. But we need to normalize asking for support before your burnout hits. First of all, it will help you prevent burnout. And second, you'll get taken more seriously because you probably won't have dropped any balls yet. How do you ask for accommodations without apologizing? First, let's talk about what's underneath that question. Most of us do not want to ask for anything that sounds like special treatment. That can feel really uncomfortable based on our own internalized ableism or us just knowing how ableist the world is or even just work culture. And that stems from a deeper fear of rejection. It can feel existential like life or death. And in a way, it makes sense why you're afraid of getting fired. That would be in a small way, a version of life or death. But once again, you're protected by the law. You're asking for what's legally yours. According to the Chad website, the best time to bring up accommodations is when you've noticed your symptoms interfering with your job and not after your already in trouble. And when you do bring a plan, don't just bring your problem. Here's how to go through it. Step one, know what you need. Obviously, you can't advocate for yourself if you don't have specifics of what you need. Sandy Maynard is an ADHD coach and she wrote in an article in Attitude Magazine that identifying what we are good at and what we need help with is the first step. Do we need an accommodation at work that will help us perform better? Do we need to learn how to say no if we tend to people please? Are we afraid to delegate before you set up a meeting with your HR person or your manager? You got to take a minute. No, it's hard for us to stop, but reflect what tasks are hard for you to complete, what things cause you overwhelm, shut down, or spirals. And when are you most productive? And what conditions helped that to happen? You can take a beat. Take a week. And think about, all right, well, let me just think about my patterns. You know, is it long meetings that make your brain melt? Do you like agendas in advance and follow up notes after? Is working in a loud space just too much for sensory overload? Do you need to work in a loud space so that it helps you concentrate? Do you need to work remotely sometimes? Write it down, be specific to framing the conversation. When it's time to ask, do not overwhelm the neurotypical, okay? You don't have to launch into a TED Talk about neurodivergence. Just clearly state, you have a disability. That disability is invisible. It is ADHD or ADHD. It affects your ability to do specific parts of your job. I'm going to add on to that sentence. I'm going to say it affects your ability to do specific parts of your job without exhaustive effort, which burns you out and doesn't get anything done in a timely fashion because you know you can do your job. You're killing it at your job. You're awesome at your job, but you're just like abnormally tired because you're masking because you're being asked to perform your job under these bright fluorescent lights or with 50 people screaming in an open office plan. And three, that you're requesting reasonable accommodations to support your performance as indicated by the ADA. And don't forget you may need that doctor's note. You want a little script, you could say something like, hey, I want to talk to you about something. I have ADHD, which is recognized as a disability under the ADA, and I've noticed some specific areas where I'm struggling. And I've identified a few things that I know. I don't think you should say I think, but that I know or that I believe or just that would help me be more effective and productive here. I'd love to discuss what's possible in terms of accommodations. That's it. You're naming it. You're taking responsibility, short and sweet, no tent time, and you're offering the solutions. Like you're doing all the things for them. Now, some of these research things that I looked into say to make it about performance, not preference, I go back and forth on that because I just don't trust anybody. I just don't, I just don't trust anybody who doesn't have ADHD that I'm going to try to tell. I just don't. I feel like in this day and age, it's okay to name your preferences for the way you'd like to work, but I honestly don't think it's okay in some ways to tie it to, and if I don't get those preferences, it affects my performance. I just don't. I could be totally wrong. I just, I don't like this. It makes me uncomfortable. Maybe I need to get over it. But experts say that this is a mindset shift that can change everything. You're not asking because you want things to be easier. You're asking because you want to do your job better. See, I don't, I don't think so. Like who's saying that we're doing it badly? We're saying that it's hard, and it doesn't need to be that hard. I just disagree, but whatever. You bring a plan to your manager and you tell them this plan is going to help you stay focused, meet deadlines, and avoid burn out and that benefits everyone, right? But that's because you've made things easier for yourself. Other people don't need it made easier because they already can do it. I don't see, I hate all of this. Anyway, Jessica Hicks, who is a PhD, wrote a piece on invisible disabilities, and she says that most accommodations for us kind of people don't require a huge lift. She said accommodations do not need to require copious time, money, or effort to implement. Lighting changes, flexible schedules, pre-meeting agendas, these small shifts make a big difference. And again, they're covered under the law. Now, the other part of it is you practicing self-validation. You have to sit with this discomfort like I am doing right now. You might walk away from the meeting feeling anxious, like that was too much or you're making excuses. And that's just your nervous system reacting. It's not reality. You have to keep practicing this self-advocacy muscle, right? When we stay silent about our needs, that builds resentment, that is the foundation for resentment. And then from there, we build a perfect situation to get all the way to saying impulsive things to people that we're going to regret. You can start to say to yourself, "This is what I need to do my best at work." If you are sick of listening to these Patreon ads, I have the solution for you. For just $3 a month, you can join the ad free tier of my Patreon. And that way, you will get episodes a day early and without these Patreon ads. The $3 a month also gets you access to a private chat community where you can chat with other members of this podcast who have ADHD. How fun is that? Head on over to patreon.com/alotADHDPod or just click the link in the show notes to join at the $3 level. All right, let's look at remote work. And just because you're working from home, I mean, you suddenly have no ADHD symptoms. You may not have any idea how to accommodate yourself at home. And I know it's different for everyone. You might have kids running around. You might live with someone who's also working from home, whether it's a partner or roommate, whatever. You may hate your apartment building. It smells weird. Whatever. I don't know. But for a lot of people, it's great. You don't have to deal with overhead fluorescent lighting, no forced small talk in the kitchen. You're not stuck in a windowless office or you're not stuck in an open plan cubicle. And you most likely don't have to mask in a lot of ways. But again, with all of this, you got to return to the office crap. If working remotely is a documented disability accommodation that you already have, your employer, as of this day, Monday, May 19th, still has to honor it. The Office of Personnel Management has acknowledged this in a memo that says federal agencies should require in-person work unless remote work is due to a disability or a qualifying medical condition. Now that is, again, for federal agencies, but that should hold up for your business as well. And the ACLU backs this up. So it's not as long as your employer, again, has a company of 15 or more employees, then yes, a reasonable accommodation includes working remotely when appropriate. But it doesn't mean your home environment is working for your brain. So how do you accommodate yourself? There are low cost accommodations, lighting changes. If you use overhead lighting at home, why are you a serial killer? Harsh lights can be a big sensory trigger, trigger for neurodivergent people. You can use a bunch of lamps, softer, adjustable light. Pre-meeting agendas, if you're on Zoom calls a lot, you can ask for a bullet point agenda before each meeting to help ground your brain, or if you're the one calling the meeting, you can make a bullet point agenda to hand out to people. That way, if you forget something, everyone has your brain and your intentions in front of them, and they can say, "Oh, hey, were we going to talk about bullet point number five?" Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just because your home doesn't mean you can say yes to everything, "Oh, yeah, give me that project. I'll do it like at eight o'clock tonight when I'm watching TV new." Even if you do work all kinds of weird hours because that works better for you, just be aware of how much you're saying yes to this. It still fits within the standard of your eight-hour day if that's what it is. You don't have to do everything around the house. You don't have to do your laundry at the same time. You don't have to multitask. You can do time blocking. Maybe you work one to two hours with your phone completely off, put it in a drawer in the next room. Just see how that feels without interruption. You can go one or two hours, and turn it back on. See what you missed. But if you time blocked and really did deep work in those one to two hours, it shouldn't feel so overwhelming to turn your phone back on because you're not, quote, "behind." Have deadlines for yourself. What does success look like this week? What does it look like to finish this project? Is it just phase one? Is it just phase two? All of these kind of things. I mean, you can just have a day on YouTube and Google productivity. There's so many influencers with pretty little calendars. You can really just waste a lot of good time, but you can learn a lot. I don't really know how you should schedule your day. There's way too many different jobs, but you get what I'm saying. You know what I like to do when I'm home? I sometimes just first few hours of the day work for my bed. I love sitting under my weighted blanket. I have a heated weighted blanket. It's not a blanket. It's a giant pad. It's the size of a double extra large pizza. It's round. It's weighted about 5 pounds. I put it in the microwave. It stays warm. I can put it on my lap. I can put it behind me on my back. It's the greatest. And then I have another one that just goes around my neck. You wear it like a scarf. And then I have a weighted blanket. And so what I'll do is I'll get out of bed, make my coffee, go back to bed. And I won't get under the covers. Not under the sheets in the duvet. Like, I'm already awake. We're not getting into nighttime bed zone. I make the bed. And then I just sit on the bed with a little desk, you know, bed desk padded thing that you put on your lap. Put my laptop on top of it. And I have the weighted blanket on my legs. And it's just so nice. It's just a way to roll into the morning. And the weighted blanket does not get hot. And I have my heat thing on my back or around my neck. And it's just like this gentle entry into the day. And then I have this little kind of stress not ball pillow that I can just squeeze in my hands. I even sometimes put it behind my head and lean back as a way to keep my head propped up. And I swear to you, I, you can email me a lot, ADHD [email protected]. I will send you a picture. I use all of these things. I am obsessed with them. That is how I start my day. And then I make myself get up. And there is a gym in my apartment building. And I get on the treadmill and I take my computer and I answer emails and stuff like that. But before I am mobile, I have to have this gentle entry into the day. I'm going to tell you where I get those products. And I'm going to link to them in the show notes. Unfortunately, I don't have a discount to offer you. But if you use my unique link, this company called Baraby, which I am obsessed with, will know that you came from me. And then eventually, I think they will be able to give me discounts for you guys. But I think they have to kind of try me out first. And I love them and I approach them and ask them if I could have a unique link. So this isn't like me just like doing some weird salesy thing. I really want you to know about these things. And yeah, the company has a bunch of weighted things, a bunch of weighted, warmable things, weighted blankets of all different sizes and weights that you can nap with or sleep with. And they have things for kids as well. And it's called Baraby. And female founded, female owned. They're on a mission to free the planet from sweaty, plastic-filled synthetic weighted blankets that are uncomfortable to use and bad for the environment. It's better design, better sleep. It really works. I sleep. I crash out sleep. Their materials are sourced ethically, manufactured responsibly. And when you sleep under something weighted, it is medically proven to relax your nervous system. All right. I'm putting the link in the show notes to the warmable thing that I use the thing around my neck and my favorite weighted blanket. Definitely, definitely check out Baraby. Okay. And so these accommodations might look like something like that for you. If you've never thought, how can I combine rest and work? Build your environment around your brain. If you've got sticky notes everywhere, awesome. Why not? That may not be what other people do, but who cares? If it works for you, do it. Don't be like, I should be using to do it. Just do it. Whatever. Do ADHD body doubling, if you can. Do you have a friend that also works from home? Can you both just be up on Zoom sitting there and you can look up and see each other every once in a while and wave? Once you want to get up and start walking away to do your laundry or do something else, you go all of this person sitting there and they're going to wonder where I'm going and I'm just fucking. You might even invite a friend over if you both work from home. Just being in the presence of someone else regulates our nervous system and that's everybody, not just ADHD people, but it really motivates us in a way that it doesn't neurotypicals. And how do you figure out what you actually need? Well, that could take some time, but just knowing, okay, I'm going to think about what I actually need and almost like you're observing yourself with every single thing you do when you're working from home. Does this work for me? Yeah, it does. Okay, we're going to keep doing that. Does this work for me? Not really, but I don't know what it don't don't engage your brain as it's going. Yeah, but what I'm also am I going to do just just feel like right down what doesn't work for you? And then you can bring it to social media or something and just say, here's all these ways that I work from home and they're not working for me. Does anyone have any tips? Ask other ADHD people obviously. Keep the neurotypicals out of it. Alright, what happens if you don't ask for accommodations you don't give yourself accommodations? Burn out because that's not always just a productivity issue. It can be an unmet needs issue. We're trying to look fine while you're regulating your emotional intensity, your sensory input, your rejection sensitivity, your executive function struggles. And when you do that day after day without the right accommodations or boundaries, again, you feel resentful. You might act passive aggressive or withdrawn. You can lose your sense of identity. You forget what you even like. You stop hoping. And I think that's one of the saddest things about unaccommodated on ADHD is identity erosion. That slow loss of who you are when you've spent your whole life trying to meet everyone else's expectations. So let this be a little bit of a wake-up call. If you're not going us for accommodations, what can you do to accommodate yourself or at least it just takes seriously that this is a thing to consider. It can be giving yourself permission to say no. Say no to a coffee meeting when you don't have the bandwidth. Say no to just finishing one more thing on your task list for the day. Let yourself rest when your brain needs a break. And say that 90 minutes is about all the brain can do. And then it needs a little 15 minute break. Now if you're in hyper focus, I know it can be hard to stop. I'm not saying you have to. But if you're working and you're just like, I just need to get power through and get this done is so boring, take a 15 minute break. It'll rejuvenate you so that when you go back into the boring, it won't be as horrible until it gets horrible again towards the 90 minute mark and then take another break. Alright, so what's really going to go on under this current administration because accessibility and inclusion are being challenged and dismantled. Mental health supports being minimized, ADHD, autism, chronic illness, they're being told indirectly or directly get over it. You will get no accommodations. And now we're going to put you on some kind of watch list. The administration and that rocket ship A whole are taking aggressive stances against remote work. They are framing it as laziness and entitlement. But that ignores the fact that for millions of disabled workers remote wasn't a perk. It was a lifeline. But by the way, tons of people of working from home, not just neurodivergence. You're not alone in this fight, but don't forget these laws that protect you and allow you to work from home. They still stand. They still stand. But just keep in mind, if you can be as loud as you can be wherever you can be, be loud because the only people that benefit from a culture of silence are those at the top that are trying to silence. Just know even if you're not ready to speak out and speak up that you are not lazy, you are just unsupported. Now, this is what Lindsey Macarath says in her awesome sub-stack about why she thinks workplace accommodations are archaic. She says the word itself is heavy, bureaucratic. Comes wrapped in red tape and wrapped in stigma. It implies that the standard way of working is fine, and that anyone who needs something different is asking for a favor, a work around an exception, other. But she asks what if the standard is the problem? And I guarantee you guys, I'm sure neurotypicals would agree. Because as we know, a lot of our society is built around patriarchy, capitalism, blah, blah, blah, blah. All those things I just blurred out that make me sound like a year one college student. But if the default way that we've built work back-to-back meetings, rigid nine to five schedules, sensory overloading and office environments, if it's not working out for anyone, neurodivergent folks are just the ones who say it out loud first. Here's the truth of a lot of organizations. They're still catching up. Neurodivergent employees aren't fragile. They're just early indicators of dysfunction. I love that. The were the canaries in the coal mine. If something's confusing, overwhelming, or inefficient, we feel it in our bodies before anyone else. We notice the friction. We point it out. And too often, we get labeled as difficult or high maintenance for doing so. But we're highlighting a problem that affects everyone. And we are suggesting solutions that could benefit everyone. Remote work is not just good for us, but it's good for parents, caregivers, introverts, extroverts who find that flexibility helps them focus, decompress, and do better work. It's not special treatment. It's a better system. Meeting agendas. But nobody likes walking into a meeting, not knowing what it's about. Providing an agenda ahead of time helps everyone prepare and stay on track and actually get things done. These aren't just nice things to have. They're smart. They're inclusive and they're effective. But she says instead of building them into how we work by default, we treat them like they're favors and hand it out to people who really need them. And those people have to prove it. That whole framework is not... That whole framework is broken. She says it's not that neurodivergent folks are asking for too much. It's that we've normalized too little. She wrote a 15-page guide called Making Your Organization Neuroinclusive. Some of the examples are building in breaks and buffer time instead of back-to-back meetings, giving multiple ways to communicate, written, verbal, async, so no one's left behind, making expectations clear and feedback specific, not vague or reliant on office politics or office expressions, circling back, buttoning this. What does exactly that mean? Trusting adults to work in the ways that suit them best without micromanaging them. These are not just for neurodivergent people. This is for everyone. That's the whole point. And some of her ideas, I won't go through the whole thing, but inclusive infrastructure, adjustable lighting, noise control, accessible workstations, and ergonomic furniture, remote work, flexible hours, different types of work spaces to accommodate diverse needs and preferences. Effective design goes beyond accommodations for us. It involves integrating practices into the overall design of the workplace, ensuring these practices are part of the culture and infrastructure. Safe spaces for vulnerability, places where employees can go to express themselves without negative repercussions, fostering a culture of respect, openness, and support, establish confidential channels for employees to provide feedback and report concerns, and ensure that these channels are accessible and responsive, train managers to recognize and address their own biases and communicate in ways that are affirming, implement mental health resources, employing assistance programs, open door policies to address emotional and psychological needs, noise canceling headphones, quiet rooms, engage employees in conversations about their needs and preferences as a group, seek feedback, and involve them in designing solutions that work for them. Eliminate barriers in physical spaces, technology, and organizational processes that inadvertently cause disability, involved neurodivergent people in the design and redesign process. Their input is crucial. Conduct regular training on inclusivity, diversity, and unconscious bias for all employees. Recognize and celebrate the diverse strengths of all employees, encourage leaders and managers to model this, encourage innovative thinking to solve problems and enhance inclusivity. Provide an agenda for each day, consider a journey map. Provide clear job responsibilities, policies, unspoken culture norms like work from home Fridays. Begin asking about neurodivergent accommodations in onboarding. Don't depend on people who aren't neurodivergent to begin the conversation. Provide a mentor at the job for everyone for a first few weeks. Don't overvalue sustained eye contact, ability to banter, appearing confident, or smiley. Avoid subjective criteria that discriminates against neurodivergent candidates, like leadership skills confident. Add neurodivergent to the list of diverse candidates that you're looking to hire. Use clear and literal language ambiguity does not work for us. Meeting agendas and summaries. Minimize irony sarcasm and slang. They can be confusing for neurodivergent people. Written and visual forms of communication can be referenced later and provide clarity that verbal communication alone might not. Avoid open-ended questions. Specific questions help all individuals provide precise information. Check for shared understanding, verify that everyone understands what you just said. Use a shared task and time tracking application. Define what complete means for each task. A one to two-minute daily check-in with each team member. Yeah. Documentation throughout the whole process. Asking every day what you need from the team. Short daily check-ins with teams. Make it mandatory in the culture. Movement breaks. Flexible meeting formats. Normalized fidgeting, wobbly chairs, standing during meetings. Non-tactile activities. You don't always have to be shaken hands. Encourage employees to wear anything that they find comfortable. Dimmers on lights, window shades, desk lamps, plants, noise cancelling, headphones, quiet spaces, background sounds, trash management, no-centred products, and advance menu options when everyone is ordering lunch from the same place. I love this. I mean, this is a long, long, long list. I highly recommend you check out her sub-stack. I will link to it in the show notes. But there you go. There is the complicated, uncomfortable truth about accommodations in the workplace. For now, it is still law. And for now, it is still up to us to ask for our needs to be met. When our needs, honestly, could help everybody. We are going to feel it in our bodies before everyone else. I absolutely love that. All right, if you want to send an email to the show, a lot [email protected], ask me a question, whatever you want to do. There's also something exciting. There is a show, I call it the a lot line. You can call and you can ask a question. You can give tips that you might have for anything. Whatever you want to say, just know that it could be played on a future episode. This number is monitored by other people who are not me, so don't use it to be a purve because you're going to be perven on someone else. It's 347-674-2201 and it is just a voicemail nobody will ever answer. And that's all I've got for you today. I don't even know how to end this because I never do, because everything sounds so weird, like I'm supposed to have a catchphrase. Thank you for listening to You Are A Lot. And just a reminder, this podcast did not replace you going to therapy or taking your medication or working with an ADHD coach. I know the podcast makes you feel seen and heard and validated and that's awesome, but I want you to do everything that you can do to take care of you. Just a reminder, if you like the show, please give it five stars right a review. I made it really easy for you. There's a link in the show notes that takes you right to a little page where you can just click five stars and write a few words. That's it. You don't have to log on to your Spotify or your iTunes or anything. It's super, super easy. Check for that link in the show notes. You can also subscribe to my newsletter by checking that link in the show notes. If you want to go to my website, it's genkirkman.com and you can find out more about past episodes there. Again, thank you so much for listening. Tell a friend about the show. That would be absolutely fantastic. The link in the show notes is there to get to the episode page of my website and from there, you could send that to a friend and there are audio clips of the show and descriptions of every episode. It makes it really easy for you. Thanks again for listening. See you next time.