Episode 3: Overcoming Speech Anxiety

(upbeat music) - Welcome to the Connections Cafe, where we focus on brewing healthy and effective communication skills by exploring the inside strategies and concepts of communication. I'm your host, Rip Kowakir. And first, I'd like to say, thank you. Thank you for choosing this podcast to help you with all of your communication needs. In this episode, we will delve into the intricate craft of public speaking, exploring the strategies and techniques that can transform a mere presentation into a captivating experience. Whether you're addressing a small group or speaking to a packed auditorium, the ability to connect with your audience is paramount. Join us as we unlock the secrets to commanding attention, fostering engagement, and leaving a lasting impression. Now, you already know. If you have not gotten your hot cup of coffee or your cold cup of coffee, your hot tea or your cold tea, go ahead and do so, and sit back and enjoy this episode. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - I have a few questions for you. Have you ever given a speech before, maybe in front of the classroom or your club or organization's meeting, maybe even at work? Have you? Well, chances are, if you have not done so already, you most likely will do it at least once in your life. Most of the time when I ask people if they have given speeches, they'll say, "No, that's just not my forte." And usually it's very riddled with some type of speech anxiety, which we call communication apprehension. And we'll talk about how you can overcome that today, but before we do, I want to just make something's clear. Number one is that public speaking doesn't always have to happen in front of a large group of people. And number two is that public speaking has been linked to various benefits beyond communication skills. This includes increased confidence, improved critical thinking, and enhanced leadership ability. Embracing opportunities to speak in public can actually lead to personal and professional growth because it enriches both your career prospects and personal development. So if you were afraid to do public speaking before, that might be just a little bit of motivation to get you to start practicing it. So listen, I know you're gonna get so tired of me saying this, but it is 100% true. Communication is a skill. That includes public speaking. So if you feel like you've tried public speaking in the past and you weren't as successful, don't give up, and I'm gonna give you some tips and tricks today to help you improve in your public speaking ability. So let's get started. (gentle music) If you consider yourself to have a fear of public speaking, know this, you are not alone. It is estimated that about 75% of people have a fear of public speaking. This is known as a glossophobia. This fear is ranked higher than the fear of death for many individuals. So most people are fearful that they have to give a speech then of dying. That blew my mind when I found out. But for good reason. See, when it comes onto public speaking, it can have a significant psychological effect on people. It can increase heart rate, sweating, make adrenaline be released within your body. However, these symptoms can be refrained positively as the body naturally responds to excitement rather than fear. So the best thing that you can actually do when you're feeling these psychological effects is to take a few deep breaths and harness that energy into something positive to enhance your performance. So now that we've talked about the fear of public speaking or the phobia called glossophobia, I can now tell you with the scientific name of the fear of public speaking is, which is communication apprehension. So for the next few minutes, I'd like to talk to you about the 10 strategies that you can do to overcome communication apprehension. The first thing that you can do, which we've already talked about, is understanding your fear. As I already mentioned, you are not alone. Understand your specific fears and triggers and that can help you address them more effectively. Strategy number two, prepare thoroughly. You see, when I first met my husband, he used to say the statement all the time. He used to say proper preparation prevents poor performance. I had never heard it before, but now I use it almost every day in the classroom. Because if you practice and prepare your material thoroughly, you'll feel more comfortable and more content with the information that you'll be giving so then you can exude confidence when you're delivering it. Rehearse your speech multiple times and focus on both the content and your delivery. So the rule of thumb here is that if you are preparing to give a speech that is approximately five to seven minutes long, then you're gonna take about that same time and put it into hours. So for example, for a five to seven minute speech, I'm going to prepare roughly five to seven hours. For an eight to 10 minute speech, I'm going to prepare roughly eight to 10 hours. Now that entire time does not include you standing in front of a mirror, doing dress rehearsals, timing yourself and just speaking to yourself in the mirror. That time it also includes your research, your outline building, you practicing your vocal citations because they can be tricky some time and putting together your speaker notes, which we call keyword outlines. Strategy number three is to visualize yourself being successful. Before your speech, visualize yourself delivering it confidently and successfully. Positive visualization can help reduce anxiety and boost your confidence. Now listen, I've heard so many students saying, well, I'll visualize the audience naked or I'll visualize myself like, you know, in a room by myself. Don't do that because when you do that, then if there's anyone in the room that you may like or have a crush on, then all of a sudden your blush in for no reason. Or if you're picturing yourself in a room by yourself, now you're negating to make meaningful eye contact with your audience, that connecting with them, right? And so you want to make sure that you're visualizing yourself being successful. So while you're giving your speech, you can actually make this meaningful contact with your audience and do well in your speech. Strategy number four, start small. Begin by practicing communication in low pressure situations, such as talking to a friend or a family member. When I teach this in class, I often tell students who'd struggle with communication apprehension to practice their public speaking ability at a restaurant. So every time I give this example, I always think about Olive Garden. Now listen, Olive Garden is not the most fanciest place ever, but no matter when I give this example, Olive Garden is always the first restaurant I think about. So we're just gonna stick to that example. Well, if you go to a restaurant, so Olive Garden in this case, and you go with a group of your friends, let's say it's about six of you. When you sit down at the table and before the waiter comes to take your order, go around the table and ask your friends what they want to eat for dinner and maybe even what type of drink they want. When the waiter comes to take the order, do your best to publicly speak and give your friends order. Doing this will help you to start feeling comfortable because, A, you're saying this around people who you trust and if you say it wrong, they wouldn't mind correcting you to help you get it right. And B, the more you practice public speaking, no matter how you're public speaking, will help you to become an effective and confident public speaker. Strategy number five, focus on the message, not yourself. So the first thing that we like to do whenever we have to give a speech is think about, oh, what they're gonna think about me, oh my goodness, I might forget something, right? And we think about us, we keep the focus on ourselves. But we're not giving a speech to ourselves. The whole idea of a public speech is to give information to, or to disseminate information to a group of people. It is about them, not you. So take the focus off yourself. Shift your focus from worrying about how you will be perceived to the message you want to convey. Concentrate on delivering your message carefully and effectively. Once you do that, you might find yourself being a little less tense. (gentle music) ♪ Level up, hey ♪ ♪ Level up, hey ♪ ♪ Level up, hey ♪ ♪ Level up, hey ♪ Hey, real quick, before we continue with the strategies for overcoming communication apprehension, I wanna ask you a quick question. Have you subscribed to the Connections Cafe yet? If you haven't, here's your, by subscribing to this podcast on whichever podcast streaming platform you decide to do so, you will never miss an episode and it will always just be waiting for you when you log on. So go ahead, press that subscribe button, so you never miss another episode. Now, let's get back to those strategies. (gentle music) (sighs) You heard that? Take a deep breath. That brings us to strategy number six. You should consider taking deep breaths. Before speaking in stressful situations, you should consider doing deep breathing exercises. Deep breathing can help you reduce anxiety and increase focus. I often try to do vocal warmups or even do light stretching before actually speaking. Again, doing anything and everything to calm your nerves. Strategy number seven would be to talk positively, replace that negative self-talk with positive affirmations. I don't know about you, but I definitely believe in self-fulfilling prophecies. For example, if you like to say things like, I'm gonna do well on my next test, chances are you're probably gonna do well on your next test. If you say, I'm gonna fill this test, chances are you're gonna fill. Now, why is this true? Typically, if we say that we're gonna pass or fail a test, your behavior is going to move in a way that it's going to allow you to actually achieve that outcome. So for example, if I say, I'm going to pass the test, that means that I'm actually gonna spend the time to study so that I can actually pass the test. For people who say, I'm not gonna pass the test, I'm definitely gonna fail it. Usually, those are the people who are not well equipped or prepared for that test. They're not gonna study, they're probably already doing bad in the class, most likely because they're not paying attention and the list can go on and on. But when we switch that negative talk to positive talk, then it reminds ourselves of our strengths and our past successes in communication and other challenging things that we've done in our lives. So, change your attitude. So the next two strategies can actually go hand in hand. They don't absolutely have to, it's not necessary, but if you so choose to do them together, you definitely can. So strategy number eight is to join a supportive group. Now, if you're not in a communications class like public speaking, you might wanna find a communication group where you live, where you can practice in a supportive environment. Groups like Toastmasters provide opportunities for structured practice and feedback. To locate a Toastmaster in your area, simply go online to Toastmasters International, put in your zip code, and you should be able to find a group in your area. Now, if you think that's a bit too much, okay, I'll tell you, then go ahead and move on to strategy number nine, which is to seek feedback. Give your speech in front of friends and family members or even colleagues and ask them for their honest opinion. Constructive feedback can help you identify areas for improvement and build your confidence. In addition to asking other people for feedback, I like to give my students opportunity to give them self feedback through self evaluations. So go ahead, record yourself, listen to your audio recording, and give yourself a ranking. Think about things that you can improve and things that you should keep the same. And the last strategy, the best one for me is to celebrate your progress. We oftentimes make these small little bits of progress and we never count the progress we always look at where we are. Take a few minutes to acknowledge and celebrate your progress no matter how small it is. Each time you successfully communicate despite feeling apprehensive, take a moment to recognize your achievement. Positive reinforcement can reinforce your confidence and motivation to continue overcoming your communication apprehension. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) So hopefully you found some of those tips helpful. Now, as we move forward, we're gonna go ahead and talk about the three different purposes of public speaking. So like, why do we do this in any way? Why is this important? Why can't I just talk to my friends and that be that? But listen, there are three real reasons while we do this, three really important reasons. For starters, we're able to effectively communicate in a wide, reaching way. So effective communication, first and foremost, public speaking allows individuals to effectively convey their ideas, opinions, and information to others. Whether it's delivering a presentation at work, speaking at an event, participating, and community discussions, strong communication skills are essential for success. Number two, it helps us to influence and persuade. Public speaking provides a platform to influence and persuade others, whether you're trying to convince your audience to adopt a certain viewpoint, take an action, or support a cause persuasive speaking can be a powerful tool to drive change. The last reason, and there's plenty more, but the last one that we're gonna talk about and that important reason, in my opinion, is leadership development and career advancement. I guess that's kinda two, but we're gonna combine them because when you can show that you're a great leader, then oftentimes you're a career just advances. So listen, public speaking is often associated with leadership roles. Leaders who can articulate their vision, inspire others, and communicate effectively are more likely to gain trust and fellowship. Strong public speaking skills can also enhance your career prospects. Many professionals are professions require some degree of public speaking, whether it's pitching ideas to clients, presenting findings to a colleague, relaying medical advice or diagnosis to patients, all of this is form, is a form of public speaking. So it's really important. Now in the coming weeks, we're gonna talk about the three types of public speaking, which includes things like your informative speeches, your persuasive speeches and your commemorative speeches. But in order to effectively do this, there are a few things that we're gonna talk about, including knowing your audience, establishing credibility, telling compelling stories, using visual aids, making eye contact, encouraging interaction, persuasive techniques, authenticity, all of these things, because all of these components make that simple speech, a grand speech. So I hope you've learned something today, and I hope you decide to join us again on the Connections Cafe. Before I let you go, let's go ahead and do a quick recap about what we spoke about today. For starters, let's get this straight. We have only touched the tip of the iceberg. There is so much more to discover when we're talking about public speaking. But for the purposes of this episode, we have only talked about what public speaking is and what it isn't. Remember, public speaking is any opportunity that you get to disseminate information, persuade others, or just talk about concepts, and things of that nature to a group of people. And so chances are you have already done it, or you will do it in the future. In addition, we've talked about Glossophobia or the fear of public speaking, also known scientifically as communication apprehension. And in talking about that, I've also given you a few strategies that you can use to overcome communication apprehension in your everyday life. In no particular order, those strategies include things like visualizing yourself as being successful, investing in deep breathing exercises, changing your negative talk to positive self-talk, focusing on your message and not yourself, preparing thoroughly, start small, join a supportive group, understanding your fears, and celebrating your progress. Now remember, the only way that you can get better at public speaking is by practicing. Never miss an opportunity to publicly speak. In this episode, I have given you a practical activity that you can try when you go out to eat with your friends. Give it a try, and let me know how it goes. Remember, you can always leave your comments or shoot me an email at [email protected]. Again, that's Ripka, R-I-B-Q-A-H, at theinspireoots.com. Until next time, I'm your host, Ripka Walker. Shalom, Shalom. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] (upbeat music)