Episode 21: Insurance, Adulting and Ignorance

All right welcome back y'all to yoga pants and bad decisions episode 21. Hope you all have been having a good week. I am still in the process of getting over the never-ending bronchitis battle that I've had. Still just like a residual bit of coughing so I apologize in advance. Not as bad as last week but still not 100% and it has just been kicking my ass and I've just been literally physically exhausted. But let's see what's been going on. So I mean no real topic for this episode honestly just kind of just going to be going jumping around over just things that have been happening and ongoing in my life as of late. So no real topic going into today. I will say that the podcast competition that I mentioned in last week's episode has officially gone live. It is actually top post with Ryan Seacrest and it is a podcast competition where I can potentially win $25,000 and get six episodes of a professionally recorded and edited podcast through iHeartRadio and Ryan Seacrest. So voting is live I think for the next two weeks and you can find me there. I will make sure to put links up on my social media under yoga pants and bad decisions. Of course at this point any anonymity attached to this podcast is out the window because unfortunately to enter into the contest. I had to use my real name so don't make it weird. I feel like most of the people who listen to this podcast actually know me in real life. I don't really know how many people listen to this that don't know me. I mean I'm sure there are some but at this point just don't make it weird. If you learned my last name you know I don't need any stalker situations. I'm not that interesting so no need for all of that but you can vote every day. You get one free vote a day or if you're feeling generous you can donate more votes but just keep an eye out on yoga pants and bad decision for Instagram and probably I'll put it on my TikTok so that you can see the QR code and know where to go vote. Of course all votes are appreciated. I'm not really putting too much stock in this competition from what I've seen of other people who are actually competing. Seem a lot more professional and hardcore than I am. People who've been doing talk shows about way more interesting things I feel than what I talk about but a lot of it is a lot more niche too. People who want to talk about dinosaurs and talk about mental health stuff. Things that I am not qualified. Subjects I am not remotely qualified to speak on but you know to each their own I wish everybody the best of luck and again you know this is all for funzees. When it stops being fun that's when I'll stop doing it and even today I was struggling to even want to record I basically have spent my two days off doing absolutely nothing because I've just been exhausted. Work's been kicking my ass. Having to work when you're not feeling 100% just makes you fucking tired so I head back to work tomorrow and usually when I record it's during the day and I just did not want to do it today. My oldest son actually stayed home sick from school so he was home so I didn't really have a chance to record during the day. My husband just left to go to his weekly Wally Ball and so I'm kind of recording at home with both of my boys here and the dog so again might be you know some wild edits because I'm usually recording in an empty house today there's actually folks in the house so I apologize in advance. What is Wally Ball you might ask? I get asked this question every time I tell people that my husband plays Wally Ball because it is almost like pickleball it's like you know a sport that usually you only associate older folks playing not like geriatric old but like older not as physically intensive as you know some of the other sports that you can find where they have leagues and stuff for you know adults but Wally Ball if you think of Wally Ball and how it's played within that Wally Ball is played in a racquetball court so it's Wally Ball within a racquetball court so an enclosed court and it's essentially a Wally Ball that you can play off the walls so the three walls you know the one back wall the two side walls you can you can play off of so he informs me that you know it's not all old people that apparently it's having like a resurgence with like the younger people and the younger generation are like picking it up it's very cardio centric and my husband used to play Wally Ball like Intermiro Wally Ball in college so he still enjoys it I have a niece who plays Wally Ball so we'll go and catch her game so you know it's a fun sport I guess but he was all excited tonight because there was a group from a different major city like in a different state that was apparently coming up to play at his gym so he and they're apparently really intense so he was excited about playing though many was like I got a stretch for like a half an hour so it was funny and speaking of old and people feeling old the boyfriend Kiegen turned 30 on Friday so we celebrated his birthday and one of the gifts that I gave him was a tens unit which I joke because you know I I talk about my douchey ex a lot Chris aka mass hole cut faces ex husband and I joke because like two of the things that I get the most use out of were actually gifts from him back when we were dating and there were things that I never would have ever thought to buy for myself but at one point when I was dating mass hole and my husband you know when we were the fab for some and we were you know all hanging out together I was having like lower back pain I think I might have actually like thrown my back out I think I've thrown my back out like maybe once or twice in my lifetime you know when you just come up too quickly and just something just tweaks and you just go down and it was one of those situations where I could barely move and comfy so it's just like oh let let me get a tens unit and if you're not familiar with a tens unit anyone in this listening audience who is over the age of 25 has any kind of ache or pain in their body a tens unit is something that everyone should have in their wheelhouse and what it is is this tiny little handheld you know contraption that has electrodes like little leads that you plug in to the unit and it runs to electrode pads you could run with two electrode pads or four and you kind of just set them up on whatever body part that you have and you can you know tweak the setting and what it does is that it's electrode stimulation of the muscles so it's essentially massaging muscles triggering muscle function to ease pain and you know increase blood flow you know decrease inflammation it's basically like getting massaged where no one's actually having to actively massage you a little bit different than a massage gun a massage gun like kind of functions differently but you have to actually hold it there whereas these tens units you basically can just slap these electrodes on to your body and like go about your day you can put the little handheld that control like the controller the power pack like on your in your pocket a couple years ago and I had a pinch nerve issue in my shoulder that kind of sent me into physical therapy probably for like six or eight months I was in physical therapy and it was just basically from lifting two heavy things mainly at work lifting kegs and buspans it kind of you know I forgot how old I was and I basically pinched a nerve and I ended up going to physical therapy and one of the things that they used on me initially was these electrodes but I was able to use my tens unit initially while it was at work so it's like something that you can hide under your clothes and essentially like get relief from any kind of pain you know anywhere and it's mobile you can you just basically recharge the little unit and you know it's amazing so last night I finally got to bust it out because I gave it to Keegan as one of his you know hi welcome to your 30s birthday presence because he's always chronically in pain and for somebody so young I'm like what the hell are you doing you know because most people like I remember my sister vividly telling me that when she turned 40 my sister is two years older than me my older sister and I vividly remember when she told me she turned 40 however everything just kind of like shit the bed for her once she turned 40 and I was like okay you know that's you that's not me I turned 40 totally fine felt the same as I did throughout all of my 30s 41 no issue 42 no issue 43 I got hit by a fucking like MAC truck and that's when like all the shit like started going downhill my knees started to hurt I started having the issues with my my shoulder and it was just like my body slowly but surely started breaking down so for me at 30 you should be feeling like a million bucks now in his defense he is ex-military, he does lift heavy, he likes to go the gym, although he's not currently, you know, in his swollen area, he's kind of just like taking a break from the gym. And he attributes that to part of the reason why he thinks he might be in pain is because he's not, you know, working as muscles as he showed or as much as he should and as much as his body is used to. But so we busted out the 10s unit for his birthday. I got him that along with some like really nice whiskey glasses and that had like the ice molds and I was like, oh, you know, you're 30 now, you're grown up, you can enjoy, you know, bourbon, like a grown up and not out of like, you know, a sippy cup, I'm just kidding. Out of a plastic cup, got him some nice glasses and some nice, and a nice bottle of bourbon. I got him the 10s unit and then he's also super artistic. So I got him a nice set of oil pastels. So last night we busted out the 10s unit and I showed him how to use it. And like the look on his face and the way he acted with this 10s unit, you would have thought it was like a gift from heaven because he felt relief in his muscles for the first time. So in looping back to giving gifts that, you know, last week we talked about birthdays and like gift giving and how I was excited about giving the gifts to him because, you know, there were things that I knew that he wanted but things that I knew that he needed as well. And so last night, even further perpetuated, like he'd already busted out the whiskey glasses like the day of his birthday. Like before we even went out to dinner that night, he was made, he was cleaning out the ice molds and setting it up so that he could have a drink when we got home from dinner. And he was already talking about that. And then last night he busted out the 10s unit and we got to use that and he was excited about that. And then even today when he was at work, he is a job where he's like a lot of downtime which must be nice 'cause I don't know how that feels in the workforce but he is a lot of downtime. So he actually brought the oil pastels that I got him for his birthday to work and was using my work and was, you know, talking about how great they were. So success on the birthday front, which, you know, just makes my heart happy. And then coming up this week, we celebrate my girlfriend's 30th birthday. Her birthday is coming up and it's actually the day before our six month anniversary as a thrupal. So we have a nice busy weekend planned. We're celebrating our anniversary on Sunday with a nice dinner. We've already picked like a nice little Mediterranean spot that I've been to but they haven't. So I'm excited because the food there is amazing. I had gone there with my cousin. My cousin, the one that I spoke about before that lives in New York, she was always my go-to for Mediterranean food and we would always go and when we would ever catch up for dinner, we would always hit Mediterranean spots and just get filthy dirty martinis stuffed with feta and it was just like our thing. And then she moved to New York. So I never really had anyone to, like, go eat Mediterranean food with, which is my favorite kind of food. Like that's the cuisine that I love. So any chance that I get to go to, like, a Greek Mediterranean style restaurant, like that's what I want. Like, hands down, that would be like my death Romeo is Mediterranean food. So I'm excited. Sunday we're going to Mediterranean to celebrate our anniversary. And then I'm spending the night over there. They both took off work Monday. I'm always off on Mondays. So we're actually gonna get to spend the whole day together on Monday and my girlfriend said the only thing that she wants to do is go to a nice brunch and she's already picked out where she wants to go for that. So it's nice. I have some things to look forward to going into the weekend personally. And then just a lot of stuff going on this weekend with the kids. My daughter's theater programs play. Her play starts this weekend. So she's been out of the house pretty much every day this week. And we still have both boys active in sports, ones in baseball, ones in soccer. And then the puppy, of course, is doing great, grown like a weed, but she's a sweetheart. She's just napping over on the floor next to me. So she's a super cutie. But topic for today, outside of the 401 on birthday, something that came up yesterday. And I got into, again, another argument with the husband over financial stuff. And just one of those moments where I really struggle to understand how a person has made it so far in life and can be successful in his career and a functioning human, but still not know certain things. So my husband is 45 years old. So yesterday, he asked me. He was like, yeah, I got this weird email from X, Y, and Z Care, and I think it might have been a scam. And I was like, what do you mean? He was like, what was saying that we owed a money for a visit? And it was $106. And I was like, OK. And I was like, well, isn't that where you went to get your bronchitis checked out? And it was a local urgent care spot. So I was like, yeah, I did. But why would they be sending information to you? Why would they be emailing you? Now granted, he isn't the insurance carrier for our family, like the primary. So of course, I always have to give his information, but as far as like contact information, they have my phone number, they have my email. So I wasn't quite sure why they would be sending him information about my bills to him versus me. And I recall leaving a credit card on file so that if there were any charges, they would automatically just get applied to the card. And like, you have to sign off on it. So I wasn't making any sense. And I was like, what are you talking about? And he's like, well, I forwarded the email to you. And I said, OK, cool. Pull up the email. And it's basically asking to log into the account, put in your birthday. So I was like, did you put in your birthday? He's like, no, because I didn't want to get scanned. I was like, how are you going to get scanned just putting in your birthday? Like, it's not asking you for your social security number. It's asking you for your birthday, literally, month day year. Like, that's information that you can-- that's like public records. So how is that going to work anyway to get scanned? So of course, I put in my information first, because he was convinced that whatever medical bill this was was mine. So I put in my information. I put in my birthday. And of course, nothing happened. It said, no information available. So of course, after putting in my information, getting know where I put in his birthday. And automatically, it brings up the account. And I said, hey, I was like, but this is from January. January 24th, 2026, is when this bill was from. And he goes, oh, and I was like, did you go to this urgent care? And January's like, yeah, remember I had that eye issue. And I said, OK, well, that's what this is from. And I was like, you obviously, you know, I don't know if they've sent a bill, or if they've sent the email prior, but you owe this money. And he was like, oh, he's like, I thought it was all covered by insurance. And I'm like, no. And I was like, urgent care is not covered by insurance. Most injurances to my knowledge are at least our policy through his work is that whenever you use urgent care, it's a $50 copay. And then whatever else doesn't fall, whether they run certain tests or whatnot, you know, might or might not be covered by insurance. And until you get the deductible, you're going to pay out of pocket fees. And unfortunately, it's like, unfortunately, but fortunately, this family knock on wood, we rarely get sick. We've been very blessed in that we don't have a lot of medical conditions, pre-existing or otherwise, chronic illness, where we're constantly hitting a deductible. So as a family of five, like the only time we ever hit the deductible for our insurance as a family, or even me as an individual, I think was two years ago when I was dealing with a pinch nerve issue where I was in physical therapy all the time. My older son was in talk therapy constantly for mental health and medication for that during that time. And then I was also having a lot of female problems where I had to go and get MRIs. I had to get older sounds. I got an IUD placed because I was basically bleeding like a gutted pig for two months straight and didn't understand how I wasn't like in the hospital, the amount of blood loss. So that was probably the only time I've ever hit a deductible outside of when I gave birth to my children. All of those OB appointments and then, of course, like the hospital fees attached to having a child were the only times that I've ever hit a deductible. So I'm used to paying out of pocket for most of the procedures that come along, like the preventative ones and not like the things that aren't, you know, like the only thing that most insurance pays for twice a year, you get two dental cleanings twice a year and then you basically get your physical exam. Anything beyond that, whether it's a, I think sick visits are covered, but like well person visits, preventative stuff, there's always gonna be a fee attached to it. And I assumed that everyone knew this. And I also assumed that everyone knew what in and out of network costs men and like understood how deductibles work. So it was during this conversation when we were talking about this urgent care visit and it also touched upon a conversation that we had had a couple weeks prior when we had gotten another bill for, I think it was a period on a study one too because my husband's like once he hit 40, what hit him hard? from the health standpoint was dental stuff, one vacation that we were, we were away in Myrtle Beach, and he ended up having like a, what is the term, like an infection. In his mouth that, you know, like a cyst that ruptured and he ended up having to see like an emergency dentist, I forget what the term is, there's a, there's a term, any dental people out there can put it in the comments about what it is. But anyway, and apparently his mom has the same issue and it's like, you know, and this is a guy who's never had a cavity his entire life. Like, I have shit teeth, I'm not going to say, I have plenty of cavities, it's because I have like, you know, super deep molar crevices, my parents were told to cat my teeth growing up, they couldn't afford it. So like, I was told I would be prone to cavities my whole life. No big deal, I have shit gums, I actually go to the dentist three times a year, preventatively, and I know that I pay out of pocket one of those appointments every year, but I do it because I want to keep all of my teeth. So my husband has now started coming to terms with the fact that he has inherited his mom's teeth and his mom has the same issue and it's sad to get all this work done. So he's trying to basically prevent that and his dentist was like, you need to go see a period honest and go get a consult with him. Cool. So he makes the appointment for the period honest and, you know, and then the bill comes in and it's just like $185. So I'm like, what is this bill, and he was like, oh, the period honest, I was like, why is it so expensive? And he was just like, oh, it was out of network. To my response, I'm like, well, why did you go to an out of network period honest? And he goes, well, that's the one that my dentist told me to go to. That was strike number one. And in my head, I'm like, okay, and if your dentist told you to go jump off a bridge, would you jump off a bridge? Like just because your dentist suggests a certain period honest doesn't mean that's the only period honest that you can go see. And I was like, do you not understand what in and out of network means? And he's like, no, and I'm looking at him and I'm like, are you for real right now? Meanwhile, he is the one who carries the insurance. He's the one who's signing us up. He's the one who puts eyes on all of the insurance information, every open enrollment. Which it is October, y'all open enrollment for most insurance companies. So I'm kind of just like, what do you mean? So I explained to him and I was like, you got to not go out of network. And then it came up again the following week because I had an appointment with my dermatologist to do my yearly body scan. My family suffers from all forms of cancer. My mother and my sister have both had a numerous moles removed, have had melanoma, so skin cancer is prevalent in my family. So every year we do, you know, my mom called, did you get your body scan and we all have to go and basically go to the dermatologist if you haven't done this already and you're, you know, your fair skinned, which I am being the Irish girl that I am. You go and you get checked out for moles and, you know, anything that kind of looks suspect they take off, they biopsy. Last two years, I haven't had any issues. I haven't had anything removed in years, you know, I wear sunscreen religiously. I'm not really in the sun, except for the two weeks that I'm on vacation a year. The rest of the time I'm on Lili, Lili White Irish and then I'll use like, you know, fake Tanner if I'm feeling saucy. So I make an appointment for my yearly body checkup and I get a phone call the week before from the dermatology office basically saying that they've changed to the except as far as insurance goes and our insurance is no longer in network for them and she asks, she's like, do you want to keep your appointment? You'll be paying out of network pricing or we can cancel your appointment. Like you can cancel it, I'll have to find a new dermatologist. So my husband goes to the dermatologist a little bit more frequently than I do. He has a little bit of, like, rosacea on his face. He is also a CPAP wearer because he has sleep apnea. So sometimes the mass that he wears causes, like, irritation around his mouth and his face. So he breaks out a little bit so he gets, like, special, like, creams and, you know, face stuff to kind of keep that at bay. So he goes to the dermatologist several times a year to keep that prescription up. So I basically informed him I was like, hey, like, FYI, like, our insurance is no longer covered at the dermatology place. So if you have another appointment scheduled any time soon, you're going to need to cancel it because we are not paying out of pocket. Prices are out of network prices for the dermatologist. Now granted, both of us have been going to this dermatology office for over 10-15 years. So yes, does it suck for us to not be able to go to the same dermatologist? Yeah, sure. But I mean, it's dermatology. It's not, like, cardiology, it's not, like, you know, crazy stuff. All of those files and information that they have for us can easily be transferred to another dermatology office, which I had found in a nearby town that we can go to, yes, as an inconvenient chore. But I'm only going once a year, so it's not a big deal. To me, it's no different than when I have to go for a yearly pap smear or mammogram as a female. I don't fucking care who's squishing my boobs or sticking their fingers up my hoo ha. Run the test. I'm all good. So this conversation we had had quite a bit in the last couple of weeks. So when we finally figure out the mystery of this urgent care bill, he basically pulls me over again and was like, "And while we're on the subject of this, you know, let me talk to you. Let me show you this. Um, FYI, my puppy is eating in the background, so if you hear that noise, that's what that is. I apologize. For the background noise. But anyway, so then he brings over another bill and it's a $1,300 medical bill, and I'm like, "What the fuck is this?" Because as a reminder, like, uh, we broke, like we are both, like, you know, middle-class adults with three kids and a lot of fucking expenses and then debt. So I'm like, "What the hell is this from?" And he was like, "Oh, it's from my endoscopy and my colonoscopy." And I was like, "Oh, you know, the endoscopy that I told you you didn't need." And he was like, "Well, my doctor said I should." And I was like, "You know, and then that's when I kind of, like, lost it on him." Because if this is the history of my husband and colonoscopies and the endoscopy. This all started probably 10 years ago, more than 10 years ago. So he's 45 now, yeah, 35 is about right. So it was before the time that he was, it was due for him to get a colonoscopy. Before 40, he has no family history of anything. But he was having a lot of GI issues, gastrointestinal, like discomfort and pain and, you know, constantly shit and his brain out and just not feeling well. And back then, I told him the same thing that I've been telling him, "It's how you eat. My husband has a pallet of a toddler. He does not eat vegetables. He does not eat well-rounded meals. He eats a bunch of shit. Process foods, meats, he's not even a meat potato guy because he didn't eat meat potatoes like that. He basically just does not eat a well-balanced diet of, you know, whole foods, grains, fiber, what not." So I've always told him I was like, you know, it sucks. So he basically went and at the, the Hess of his doctor, again, he doesn't seem to understand that people in the medical field, you know, will tell you what they think you should do, doesn't necessarily mean that you have to do it. And it's just a money grab for insurance and medical professionals. So the doctor talked him in to getting this endoscope and colonoscopy to basically like rule out any kind of issues. So he does. This is 10 years ago, he basically does the prep, flushes out his entire GI track and what I told him was like, you're basically resetting your gut flora. He does the endoscopy, he does the colonoscopy, they find nothing. Not even a fucking pallup, nothing. The only thing he got back from that whole procedure was that he might have a mild gluten intolerance and that was about it. And I feel like that's everybody across the board because gluten is the devil. It's just, you know, you're not supposed to consume as much gluten as the American diet does. And I learned that my years doing keto when I was low carb and basically did an elimination diet where I eliminated gluten and dairy from my diet and I felt amazing. As soon as I would eat any kind of gluten, I basically felt like a decrepit inflamed 80 year old woman. So I know that that is real. And so after he got the colonoscopy and everything was fine, he felt amazing. And I basically told him I was like, because you basically cleared out your gut. Now it was just like eat better. Now that you're starting from like ground zero, be more conscious of what you're putting into your body. You don't feel so poorly, you know, doing that. And then he was on the keto bandwagon with me and then he felt better. But of course, he doesn't believe that what I told him had anything to do with that. You know, he just feels as though, well, yeah, I feel great. Okay. Years go by. Everything's great. Five years later, he were back. He's 40. And now it's time for him to get the actual colonoscopy based on his age. He does that. Doesn't do the endoscopy. Even though his doctor was like, you should. And I basically said, no. Like you have no reason to do an endoscopy. Like there's nothing wrong with you. Well, just follow up. I don't care. Like you don't need it. The one time you had the procedure done, it showed absolutely nothing. So why are you going to submit to another invasive procedure that produced nothing as far as, you know, making you feel better or doing anything or bringing up any cause of discomfort? The last time you did it. 5 years later, it's not going to show anything either. Like you don't have any conditions that would require to get that done. Like he doesn't have acid reflux, he didn't have like heartburn. None of those things were present, none of those symptoms were present. So I put my foot down, you know, when he was 40. So then here we are at 45, going through it again, and he basically was like, "Oh, you know, my doctor said to do it again." And I was like, "Don't understand why you're doing it yet again." And so I was aware that he was getting both not realizing the price tag that was attached to it. And I honestly don't remember if 10 years ago we did, but I think 10 years ago, he was having symptoms that warranted having that procedure done. So they deemed like insurance deemed it medically necessary based on what was in his chart. That he had gone to the doctor multiple times, had periods of discomfort and gastrointestinal distress. So that was like the next step after they had cleared him on blood work and all that. So I think the insurance covered it because they declared it necessary, whereas this time around, it wasn't. Like he had shown no signs of issue, like he wasn't having any gastrointestinal issues. So it's like, "Okay, like this is just a preventative measure." So insurance didn't cover any of it, well, they did cover it because apparently it was a $6,000 procedure, which absolutely boggles my mind, which I get, it's the anesthesia, cool, cool, cool, cool, but again, it was unnecessary. And so he's telling me this and I'm like, "Are you fucking kidding me?" I was like, "Why did you not ask before you got the procedure done? How much this would be financially? Like what your responsibility would be once insurance was paid?" He was like, "No." He just like, "I just figured it was covered." And I was like, "Do you understand or grasp anything when it has to do with insurance?" And I said, "I don't think you do." And I was like, "And it's really maddening to me that you're 45 years old and you do not understand what in-network means, what out-of-network means, what's covered, what's not covered, the basic fucking fundamental questions that you should ask your providers before you get these procedures done so that you're not blindsided by a $1,300 medical bill that we don't have the money for. And he's just looking at me with the blank stare in his eyes and I was like, "This is infuriating." And I said, "There's nothing fucking wrong with you. There's no need for you to have gotten this procedure done." And now what, how do you feel now? Great because you've reset your gut flora for the third fucking time because you refuse to take what I say as the wife who's somewhat knowledgeable, a form of biology major, a science nerd. You would rather throw money at the medical professional rather than, you know, listen to your wife. And it would be one thing if this was just like a one-off, but this is something that consistently happens with us and it's part of why we, I mean, it's one of the only things that we fight about, which is finances and it's just because, like, I don't understand how at 45 he doesn't know this information. And if he doesn't know this information, I'm kind of like why? Like because, yeah, I'm three years older than him, but it's just like, you know, it's not like I had my parents explaining it to me, or if I had questions I'd ask, or, you know, fucking Google, like I just don't understand how at 45 years old as the father to three children, you don't know this information already. And then, you know, like, I pose this question to like my boyfriend and girlfriend who let me remind you are just now 30. And I'm just like, do you know, and he's like, yeah, I was like, well, who? Because I'm like trying not to be a bitch about it and like, break my husband, but it's kind of like, come the fuck on. Like how are you adulting? How have you gotten through this life not knowing this information? And my boyfriend was like, because you've always done it for him. And then I'm just like, but I feel like I haven't. Like I don't, like I'm not making his doctor's appointments. I'm not telling him, like when to go to the doctor, like, so there's certain things that he does very well. And again, he's always handled certain things like an adult and, but then like these things come up and I'm like, are you fucking for real? Like how do you not know this? How do you not know how basic health insurance works? How do you not know what in-network and out-of-network means? How do you not know that, and if end, if you truly don't, then like, are you just planning on living in oblivion for the rest of your life? Are you planning on inquiring to learn this information? And it's like he'd rather plead ignorance and pay through the nose than become educated and figure it out. So which begs the question that I'm presenting to you, my listeners? Where did you learn certain things in your life as an adult? Did your parents show you how to do it? Like for instance, we'll use this as the example, insurance. How did you learn what insurance meant, deductibles? When you sign up for your open enrollment, like which plan do you pick? Do you choose why? Like, you know, who makes those decisions for you if you're part of a couple or part of a family who's making those decisions? And how did you become educated on those things? Because I'm genuinely curious, because obviously my husband is not educated in this at all and doesn't understand how this works. And I'm fearful, if I were to drop dead tomorrow, that like, I don't even know, because like he has parents, like when I don't know certain things, I always pick up the phone and call my dad, because my dad, I always joke and say he's the smartest man alive, because again, he's not college educated, but he's been an entrepreneur and a businessman for the better part of his career and is now retired after you're selling off a successful business. So it's just like, he knows a lot about a lot of things and it's through life experiences and, you know, seeking information out and wanting to become knowledgeable on his own. And like even now, just dating people who are younger, like, yeah, Keegan knows certain things about certain things, you know, based on his experience in the military and Liz knows certain things within her career field and is just knowledgeable just from life experience. And there are a lot younger than he is. So it's just like, is it just his personality? Is it, you know, as a lot of listeners seem to think, you know, he's a low-key narcissist or a down low narcissist? I'm still on the fence on that because sometimes I think, you know, no, he's not smart enough to be a narcissist. He's just oblivious and it's just like, I don't understand how you've gotten through life. And then I'm like, have I enabled him this whole time by like doing all of these things? Like again, if I died tomorrow, he doesn't even know what bills go out of our house financially. And then to not even know the insurance, I'm just kind of like, you know, what the actual fuck? So I'm curious as to, as adults, and I'm talking to the audience that is like 25 and up or however old and up, but living on their own, no longer living with mom and dad. They have rent, they have bills, they have adult responsibilities financially. When you were encountered with something that you might not know or be knowledgeable about, where do you go to find out that information? Who do you seek? Like, who do you seek as counsel to learn these things? Because I'm genuinely curious because for me, it's been my dad and Google. Like if my dad doesn't know or if it's something that I think I can find out information on my own, I do. Like I seek it out and thank God for technology and internet or I'll ask people that I think might know. Like, there's so many people like if it's if it's something that's like male oriented, I have a crew of guys and male friends that I can pick their brains and ask them about. If it's something musical, there's certain friends that I have that are more musically inclined, business savvy. Like, you know, a girlfriend of mine and her husband just bought a fucking laundromat and I'm fascinated by it because I want to know how she did it and what's the upfront cost and I want to pick her brain about it. So it's like, I have a village of people that I can go that are a wealth of information, but I understand that not everyone has that. But for him, he has friends, he has parents, he has family, he has me. So it's like why wouldn't you even ask me those questions and I can tell you and it's if he asked me, you know, like, and I know that I come off in this particular episode as somewhat being like hostile. But I wouldn't be hostile if he was actually asking me these questions. I think I'm more pissed off in that he didn't ask the questions and just made these willy-milly, you know, blasé decisions with one without consulting me and that happens a lot within our marriage and that's where the breakdown and communication has always been with us is that he just fucking does whatever the hell he wants and doesn't think about the consequences financially to our family and, you know, and another thing that came up and kind of ties back into last week's episode was about birthdays because apparently my 10-year-old has gotten in his head that he wants to have like this fantastic birthday party and wants to take like his entire fourth grade class to like Urban Air or, you know, Get Air or Dave and Buster is one of the many places that cost an arm in a leg and, you know, my husband is feeding into this who's like, oh, yeah, and I'm looking at him and I'm going, when, first of all, when is this going to happen? Because my son's birthday is weeks away, so like, who's planning this? And unfortunately, in my line of work, I'm going into my busy season, I'm going into to wear my week. are crazy. I'm not going to be able to take time off. So what are you going to are you going to facilitate plan, host this entire party without me present because I'm not going to be able to get off work unless we're doing it on like a Friday night. Um, and you know, my, my, my son is like heart set on this and I finally had, I had to be the asshole and I had to be the bad guy to basically tell him, hey, but like it's not in it because we're talking a party that's like three, four hundred dollars. I don't have it now. Why? Because your dumbass father decided to get scoped both ways unnecessarily. So now we're thirteen hundred dollars in the whole for that. Maybe if I didn't have that on top of an out of network um, dermit, your fucking period, honest bill and you know, an urgent care bill on top of it. Maybe, hey, maybe we would have the money for your 10th birthday party, but I don't because your dad makes shit financial choices and now that we don't, we don't actually have the money for that. But of course, I can't say all of that to my 10 year old, my soon to be 10 year old. I just have to basically tell him no when he was like, well, my friend said their parents will help and I was like, sweet, but that's not how this works. Well, can we have the party at our house? And I was just like, uh, again, I'm not going to be here to host it and what are you going to do? Like play pin the tail on the donkey? Like no, kids don't have house parties anymore, especially when it's not even warm outside. Like, what are, what are you going to do in our house? And then he's talking about his brother and sister. So it's just, again, like all of these conversations and decisions are being made without him consulting me. And like he even said, I told you we had to talk to your mom. And I'm, but you shouldn't even placate him enough and just be like, well, think about it. We'll talk about it. But no, like, I got to talk to your mom means that mom has just the deciding decision on this. So of course, that makes me the mean mom because I'm the one that has to say no. Even though my husband knows full well that we don't have the money to throw a $400 birthday party or $300 birthday party, but that's just like the basic invitation to like the wherever he wants to have it. Then you got to do cakes. You got to do invitations. And I'm like, no, like a $300 party turns into a $500 party. And unfortunately, we just don't have it. And I even said to him, I was like, ask your brother how many parties he's had. None. Because we're broke. Like we don't do birthday parties. I'm sorry, the rest of your school age friends, their parents are either better with their money, make more money, have less kids, you know, don't go. Like I don't fucking know, but I don't care. I'm not trying to keep up with the Joneses as far as my kids are concerned. I really don't care. And the only reason my son really wants a party is because he wants all the fucking gifts. And guess what? I don't care about that either. I'm not going to put myself further into debt so that you can collect more presents from your school friends. You get plenty of gifts from your family. We celebrate you as a family. If you want to take one or two friends to Dave and Buster's to celebrate your birthday, find by me guy because that's about all I can afford right now. Going into the holiday season, Christmas is always tough for us. We always end up having the front foot fee on our house that hits us January one every year, which is next to $1,000 that I have to kick out on top of my $3,000 mortgage right after Christmas. So we have a lot of expenses coming up and like sorry, it's just not in the cards for us. And again, like I was I literally had a job interview today for a part-time job to be like a special events bartender for like a catering business around here. And I you know she called me yesterday to set up the interview. And I accepted and I you know and then I'm laying on the couch this morning because my interview was like 1230 today. And I was just physically exhausted. Like I had no alarm set to get up at like 1130 to like change for this interview and go and at like 1030, I literally talked myself out of it. And I'm like, what the fuck are you thinking? Like there's no way in hell that you at 48 and working 50 plus hours a week as it is doing what I do. And that's just the hours that I'm actually in the building that doesn't count all of the like off the clock stuff that I do when I'm off. But I'm like like no, like I'm not doing it. Like I can't do it. Because I feel as though my job is so physically demanding now and I make good money. And again like all of the financial shit that's going on, I'm kind of just like I don't like why do I have to be the one to get the second job? Because my fucking husband is an idiot with money. Like why? Like why am I the one to do it? He's the one who literally like floats into work at 10 o'clock every morning because like you know, I'm literally out the door at 530 and I'm not getting home until 530 on a lot of days. This motherfucker rolls into work at like 930 and I see what time he leaves on the ring camera. And most ACs not out of the house until at least 839 o'clock. And he's usually before I am some days I see him pull into the driveway at like 233 o'clock. So at best he's working not even eight hour days most days. And then sometimes he might be working even less than that. And his job is not physically demanding. Maybe it might be emotionally immensely taxing, but it's not physically demanding. It's a desk job. So for me, me being the one that's not creating all of these problems. And we basically are salaries are pretty much even Steven that I don't feel the need to kill myself even more. And at this point, like I'm just I'm kind of just refusing to do it. And I can't because physically I just can't. And I shouldn't have to. So it's just going to be a matter of we're just going to waste away in this house with this debt. Sorry, the dogs in the background eating again. I don't know. But I basically, you know, sent an email to the place that I had the interview was like, Hey, I appreciate the opportunity, but I'm going to have to withdraw my application best of luck filling the spot. Because realistically it's just like why? Like and the same thing happened before like six months ago I was looking for a part-time job. And like I applied to be like a server bartender at a bunch of places around town. And I made the mistake of actually putting my current role. And like no one called me because like why would they hire a server slash bartender when my resume says that I'm the general manager. So it's like, you know, whoever's looking at my resume is like, Oh, this bitch is trying to come take my job. No, I'm not. I just need to hustle because I'm trying to get divorced and start over. And I can't do that because my husband and I are in financial ruin and house poor. And we'll never get out of this fucking debt at the rate that we're going. But even back then, I never got the job. And it was funny because the window of time where it happened was when I was on the on the break from the couple. I think we ended things like right around like was right after the New Year, right after Christmas, where things kind of ended and we were like off for two months, no contact. And it was then that I started looking for another job. And because I had a bunch of spare time, time that I used to spend with them. I wasn't spending with them. So I was like, Well, shit, like my as well be productive and get out of the fucking house and make some money and set myself up for, you know, when I'm no longer married. And then of course, I couldn't find a job because I'm overqualified to do a simple serving job based on my resume, which I, yes, I've updated my resume since then to not put my current status. And that is what got me the call. I just basically put that I was currently a server bartender at the place where I'm actually the general manager. So I don't know. So I don't condone lying on your resume, but when you're overqualified and you need to dumb it down, I feel like that's a safe bet. So don't judge me. I'm not lying that I'm overqualified. I'm lying that I'm underqualified to get hired. So anyway, after that, like I couldn't get a simple server job. And then I ended up getting back together with Keegan and Liz. And you know, then I was thankful that I didn't get a job because I would have never seen them because all of the days that I spend with them would have been the days that I would have been working. So all things happen for a reason. And realistically, like yeah, what that would have done for my relationship with them would have been shitty. But I mean, they would have understood they understand they hear everything that I talk about, you know, Liz listens to the podcast. So she knows what's up. But it is what it is. We'll find a way. Eventually I won't be so broke. You know, maybe when these kids are out of the house, finally, I'll actually have some disposable income. If you know, you know, with parents. And I don't know. Like I'm sure there's other things that I could be doing. Yeah, I could sell foot pictures. Maybe I'll start in only fans. But physically, like there's just not enough time. And the last two days has made me listen to my body and just fucking rest and getting sick last week for the first time in the better part of a decade has taught me that I need to slow the fuck down and take better care of myself. And so I'm trying to do that. And honestly, it's impossible to consider getting a second job when the job I currently have is so demanding of my time physically, mentally, and emotionally. So we'll just have to make it work. So yeah, that's been the week in a nutshell. Don't really know what the next topic will be for next week. I'm sure something exciting will come along or, you know, we'll talk about, you know, some scandalous sex competes or just tell you what my current status is with the couple because it's been a little while there's been some stuff that has happened in the past. And I know that I said I wouldn't talk about them for a while. But I mean, it's not bad. We're all we're in a good spot. But But it's funny that I've been following like now, you know how the algorithm on like Facebook and Instagram always like basically, you know, once you like a certain number of videos, your algorithm changes. So my algorithm on Facebook and the stuff that it shows me has been pretty much like the same thing all the time now. And I started apparently liking a lot of like polyamorous influencers and whatnot. And now I'm on like poly talk and and and poly Facebook where all of the reels that come up on Facebook are these polyamorous couples. And there's one that I've recently, you know, gotten into that is a thruple that basically, you know, chronicle their relationship as a couple and it's a married husband and wife. And then the third and it's it's been very interesting seeing because they they speak very candidly and openly about their relationship and they actually all live together. And the third, the second female, not the wife, but the girlfriend has a child from where she was previously married and divorced and now they're all living as like this family and her child lives with them. And I don't think the married couple has kids, but it's just been very interesting seeing all of that. So I was like, hmm, I was like, maybe that maybe that'll happen one day, you know, that will just start creating content on, you know, the life of the thruple, probably not because, you know, we're not going to out ourselves like that. But yeah, and that's all I got this week. Again, just as a reminder, please shoot me a follow on Spotify or Apple podcasts or a hot radio, wherever you get your podcasts or listen to your podcasts, it would be greatly appreciated. Tell all your friends, share on your socials. And if you feel so inclined to vote for me every day to be the next top host podcast, you know, if I won this bad boy, you could all say that you were listening to me before I got famous, haha, haha. Likelihood of that happening, Slintonille, I'm realistic. Again, this is all for funsies and shits and giggles. Hope you all have a great week and thanks again for tuning in to yoga pants and bad decision. And I'll see you next week, thanks guys.