Episode 2 - 1st Semester Recap

guys welcome back to another podcast episode with Chísmesito y Caffecito. Today I have with me Sophie and Riveca and me of course. Anyways today we are going to do a podcast of our semester recap. So for those of you who do not know, we are officially. I guess in our second semester we are freshmen in our spring semester of college. We love university! We love university! We love university! But yeah so we are kind of just going to talk about our experiencing gifts and advice. For something like that we are going to try. Anyways first question. Let's do a spiritual recap. So Anguila, I know you are not really religious. You can sit this one out. It's okay to keep that. I can go first. So I think coming in I was really nervous with just the whole Baylor environment and like living on my own and making new people. And I went through like a lot with my friends back at home, family, school. And so honestly like I was present but I wasn't present with my relationship with God. And so I think I let the bad side overwhelm me to not even like to just drift farther away. And over the break I really reflected on that and I started to rebuild it again. And I'm really trying to put him first again and I know it's all going to be in the right way after that. That's it! You're good! Rebecca, I feel like for me I had a really strong. I don't know. Like I feel like I thought I had a really good strong like. No, the word is not dedication. It's more like. I don't know the word. I can't think about it. But like a strong bond connection or more like. Relationship. I don't know. It's hard to describe. But like I was more like dedicated to it and like I thought like. I mean I did have a strong connection and I still do in a way. But like I thought that like my habits and like you know. Like the way I was living life like with Christ like before I got here would stay the same. And like I feel like. I don't know. Like I definitely like stop hearing his voice like pretty early on the semester and like that's kind of out the window. And like. So I did like I feel like my personality because like you know how like they say like oh like live like Christ wants to live. And then like enact like Jesus's ways and like his personality and like in your personality. And I stopped seeing that in my personality which really sucks. But honestly it was just a reflection of what I was doing in my life and what I was living in. The people I had made connections with. Obviously like not you guys like y'all. Totally fine. And like it's not anyone's fault it's just my own like I wasn't like putting enough time to it and dedicating enough time to like God. Especially because like I mean like you're supposed to do everything for his glory. And then if you don't put it in his hands it will then it won't come out as well. Like that's good. And but now like like Sofia said like over the break like I've been working more on it and like I'm trying to like listen to his voice more and like putting this semester in his hands first. Maybe that's what caused me to like fail my last semester. Or not fail I didn't fail but like do better than I hoped. So yeah. Period. I think I want honestly I'm not saying what is you guys. I think before coming to Baylor I was pretty strong with like my relationship with God like you know I'd go to Mass every Sunday. I did the whole thing but I feel like it became really hard or I think I stopped prioritizing it when I got here because I started prioritizing other things. Like you know it's like like I always tell my cousins or like my parents. I'm like I feel like I have a different life like it's a second life here at Baylor. Like you know you have the Yani that's over there and Houston with my family and then you have me here at Baylor and it's like she's low key different. You know what I mean? I am even going to lie it's like I have an evil twin like you know what I mean. And so yeah I think I just stopped prioritizing him like I am even going like I haven't gone to Mass and God knows how long. And it's so bad and I think about it all the time and I just talked about it today with my roommate with Casey. I was like oh I was like we just are going like going back to church and she was like dude yes. And she was just like we're going to do it like this is our semester and I was like this is it like we're going to go back out to come. I'm trying to go back I'm trying to reflect so I made a good monos bomb but I think it's just really easy to get carried away while you're here. Like I think I can speak for all of it's when I say like you know before coming to Baylor we're like oh like my habits my relationship it's not going to change when I get to Baylor. You guys? No I definitely do. Yeah. The independence like kind of you know around wow with it and that's what I think for me it was more of the pressure too of like wanting to do so good in school. Yeah. Yeah. It's just like it overwhelms you. All right next question it's the emotional transition slash your mental health. Anke like you want to go back? I'll go first and go last time. I would say like coming to Baylor like at the beginning of like when we started moving in everything. I was like you know I'm excited to meet new people but at the same time like how things went during Lion Camp I was nervous because I hadn't met a lot of people like me. And what anyway there's like hispanics. Yeah. So I felt kind of like like an outsider and I was I was excited to meet new people. I know that I mean I already knew Yani. Because we were supposed to be sweet mates but that didn't work out. But still I was very grateful that I found people like that would take me in at first. I was not going to let I'm not going to let I was kind of skeptical about you know having friends but we got to know each other and now we're practically cousins. That's what I like to quite literally quite literally. Not everyone I sound like. Yeah whatever. But yeah and then like I see you're like continued it just things happened that kind of caused my mental health to go down. And I think the winter break really helped me to understand what I was going to do coming back for this spring semester. Obviously I feel much happier now. I feel like I'm at a better place than what I was before I left for winter semester or for winter break. So yeah. Nice. For me I would say I was able to regulate my emotions better. Like I don't know. I am a crybaby and like I do cry a lot like or I use your cry a lot. And like or like I would get upset over like little things. And like now I just kind of like I don't know like everything feels like you learn to kind of cope with the things I think maybe better. Yeah like yeah like a mode like just like emotionally self-regulating like better ways. Like I don't know. Like my mental health like I definitely felt a little bit of it like it definitely took a little bit of a toll. But I honestly I feel like it was good for me like. I don't know like things don't affect I don't let like things affect me as much as like you know they used to. And like which is really good because honestly like I don't have enough time to like get upset over things anymore. And like I don't know like it but it's in a healthy way like I can regulate stuff in like a healthy way like process things like health in a healthier way now. Yeah. Tough yet? Um I think it was really rough this past fall semester. Um I wasn't getting like a lot of sleep either. And there was just like I felt like I was getting hit with an obstacle after obstacle like it was just it was so much going on. And then like once I would resolve an issue another one would come. Oh see nice one that goes I's level up the guy. And I think it was so tiring and and I think it also was hard because like the people I would lean on they were they were the next thing that the next obstacle. And it was it just sucked so much and it really like I literally had to sit down and I was like you know what this isn't gonna happen again. I was like I'm not gonna let you do your ground. And I lost some people I really did but like it's for the better and honestly like I wouldn't change anything honestly. But yeah. I'm getting tired of that. Um I think Loki I was an emotional right class of rest. I think I still am but it's okay. No fuss another I'm working on it. Um no yeah I think emotionally. I think in the beginning I was fine. I was having fun, I was living my life, I was partying, I was having fun with my friends, we were spending time, it was a sleepover that was never ending, right? But then I think eventually, when classes started and I started getting stressed again, I think it really hit me. I just kind of got really sad and depressed because I don't know, I started wondering like, "Oh wow, this is weird, I started missing stuff at home." I guess this kind of leads into one of the other questions, but I think emotionally, I was just really sad because of my family, I was away and then usually I have my cousins to help me cope with my emotions. They're older, they're like my older sisters, shout out to them, I love them. I was kind of on my own here, I think, at least in the beginning. Obviously I wasn't on my own, I had my friends, I have you guys. I feel like I still don't know how to regulate my emotions that well. I think I'm trying, but I think a lot of stuff happened last semester, a lot and yeah, we'll get deeper into it later, I guess. I think that's really good. I think that thinking about, I guess, pastimes is better times. It's so relatable, mostly because I think that, there's a, we like to think as a pastime is a better time. No, I have not, we fantasize and romanticize it because right now our situation is so bad that you'd rather be in a place of comfort and being with your family and being back home is a place of comfort. And then obviously you go back and you're like, maybe I was wrong. Maybe not so much, but you kind of start making sense. Like I'm trying to look for comforting places and comforting habits that, like to, when you're in an uncomfortable situation. Yeah. Yeah. Period. The next question is, let me see. What was your academic transition? Ooh. I can start this one. Academically. Let's see. It was rough. Honestly. I'm just going to say it. It was rough. I think not necessarily like the course, like the classes themselves that they were hard. I think it was mostly just transitioning from like high school level, like of studying to a, like a legit level. Like I ain't even going like high school. I didn't study nada. Like, you know, it was rare for me to actually study for an exam, for a quiz. And here it's like, I got to study for my homework. Like, forget about the quiz in the exam. Like I have to study for my homework. Like, you know what I mean? Or like I have to study before I get a class, so I understand what she's saying. Yeah. So I think academically that was like the hardest thing I went through was figuring out like a good studying technique. And I think I also never realized that for each class, you have to study differently. Like you're not going to study the same for math and biology. Like it just don't make sense. You know, like you just, you don't study like that. So I think that was also really hard. So for me, the biggest, like the hardest transition was just finding a good studying technique. I think I'm still trying to find that. Like honestly, like I think I feel like I didn't really learn how to study studies until finals. Just because I was at the BSB like literally 24 hours a day, like, though the end of the year, we were there. But it was nice. We would've had a whole lot like 3 a.m. Yes. And I think they're like maybe 9 in the morning and leave at 3 a.m. and just dude, what is that? I was like a clock out of 12. I was like, I can't like, yes. And I think, yeah, I think it's going to happen. Yeah, once they hit midnight, we like everybody was done. I love that midnight. I got there at 7 a.m. though, remember. I got there open to like midnight. I was just, yeah, you agree with Yani. I didn't have to study at all in high school to like exceed. And then I got here and I was like, hmm. Maybe I do have to study, but I did it like with everything that was happening in my life. At that time, I just, it was so draining and I couldn't even like, bring myself to study. So by the end of this semester, I was, I didn't know how to study for my finals. And then there was this one day that me and like, got to get it. We like, okay, we have to study for a bio. Like we can't spell that. It was the day before the finals. Let's not. We were all there studying for bio. Yeah, and then we found like a method that helped us. So like we went over like, uh, the review and then we would like, go back and like think, okay, where did we see this? What chapter? And then we would look through the chapter. And that kind of helped us a lot if I'm one is like, I feel like I learned a lot more. You're testing your brain. You're testing your brain, yeah. Because that's how it's going to be on the exam. And like, we would get coffee after coffee. And then we would just say in the movie, uh, with our friends. And like, we would just see people leave and it was like 1 a.m. and then it was less people and less people. But I think, um, like being able to experience like studying with my friends that helped me a lot to like actually succeeding my classes. Yeah. Yeah. I think for me, it was also like, I agree with everything you guys said. Like I also didn't have to study at all in high school. I think the only test I studied for was for like my national registry when I took my UMS test, but like that's because like PCT, TCC, yeah, but that's because like the test was adaptive. Like it adapted to you. So if you started getting questions wrong, it would start getting harder and harder. And so if you're like, it's still got harder anyways. I don't know how to explain how badly adapted that thing was, but, but like for me, I think the problem for me was asking for help. And first of all, I'm not sure I need help. Second of all, asking for help. Third of all, fine. Knowing what, who to ask for and is it actually helping me? Because like I won't, when we first got to Baylor or like during orientation, they're like OSI, like you're bound to increase your GPA by like half a letter, half a letter like green and I was like, okay, well, I'll go to SI. But something that I realized is that you can't go to SI if you're still in the learning phase. Like SI is meant to be a review phase. And if you're not in that review phase, like and you're still learning the concepts and like the topics and information, you're not going to get anything out of SI. You're going to be lost. Yeah. And then like for chemistry, it was finding out that like the tutoring center helps out a lot. Like for me, I feel like I need someone to sit down with me one on one and tell me, hey, you need to like, this is step by step how you do it. Like this, like you're making sure that everything that you're doing is right. And for me, like, I don't know, tutoring to me, like is such a scary word. Because like if you go to tutoring, like, you're like a donkey for being so dumb, like that's really the transition. And that's how like I grew up or like the people I grew up around or like, I don't know. That's what I think they've made it seem like. And we've, I feel like we've all grown up thinking like, oh, tutoring is for people who are dumb or like, if you need tutoring, like, you're really dumb. Like, you know, like, you're smart. You don't need tutoring. Just learn to like that. And that's not the case. Like, even smart people will need tutoring. And it's not because they don't understand the concept. It's just sometimes the way someone else explains it helps a lot more than the way the professor explains it. Like, you know? Yeah. And especially like going to office hours with like actual questions, like, you know, like office hours is so much fun. Like when you're talking to the professor and like about like personal topics and stuff. But then it's like actually like kind of like cumbling yourself in front of the professor and like, I need help. Can you please go step by step? Please explain. Like, I know you explain it like a million times in class with the examples, but I need to go step by step. I need to explain why everything is, why everything is. And like, to me, like also like when I was in high school, I would always be like, oh, that's such a dumb question. Like when people ask questions, I would be like, that's such a dumb question. I would be like, that's such a dumb question. Why do I do this in the box thinking? And then it wasn't until I got to college that I started making those out of the box questions. Like, why is it like, why? Like, why can it? And like, I feel like that's such a like educational growth. But like, hopefully it gets, I don't know, I still have to ask you more questions. Yeah. I feel like, what's his name? Jorge, he really like, I don't shout out to Jorge, by the way. Oh. He's okay. He's gonna listen to this. He's gonna be like, wow. Wow. For a night Friday. Oh. Be the molecule. He's gonna be the automation. It's because of him that like, he always asks like, why questions? Like, you know, he's so like, how do you call it? Passionate about what he's learning. And so like, he's always asking like, why is this? Why does this? And so like, he's voiced the way he says it. And the way he speaks, you're like, you'd be a good professor. Yeah. That's why I'm like, I should be an intellectual like you, you know? Yeah. So he's definitely an inspiration. So shout out to you, Jorge. Oh, background for background information for our listeners. Jorge is a, uh, howdy Earl, like, scholars, like, counsel. And he's like, a mentor. He's a lecturer. He's a lecturer. Yeah, he's also in lash. So like, the linex, wait, what is it, Stanford linex? Oof. They're gonna kill me. Linex, association, science and health. Science and science. Science and science. I'm actually not sure. I don't know if you're listening. Don't hate me. I promise. I still want to be a president one day. Well, yeah, but he's like, he's such a motivational speaker. Like, the way that he gives advice is so motivational. Yeah. Like, I haven't gotten much like academic help from him, but like, like, when I call him motivation, he's great. Like talk to him before you take a whole new one. - You're like, I know Steve, I was like, this is the best, this is my favorite season. I'm like, there's no way you just, we always gotta say it's a bad day to be a, what about this? - A can of test, it's a bad day to be a bio. - Yeah, yeah. - I always think about that. - Yeah, I've tried bad day to be a, yeah. - Yeah, literally. - To be a, to be a true, I haven't answered the question. I'm sorry, I think the biggest obstacle is probably finding my way of studying. I think I'm still doing that. - In my sister's. - It was also because it's like, I had like nine classes last semester. I wasn't getting sleep. I had everything going on and I was just, I just couldn't, I couldn't do anything. Like I would study and there was time so I was just staring at the words. I was staring at like the problem I was living in. - I was living in bio. - And it was just, it was really hard and I think now I had to realize that like, once I take care of myself, I'll be able to do better than I did before. Like I had to put my relationship with God first, my relationship with myself and my body first. - Oh, I'm getting this out. - You know, like sometimes you take care of yourself before you can do good things. - Like my mentor, he was like, well like if I feel this test, like at least my body looks good. Like I went to the gym and I was like, me whenever I go to, I would go to a bio exam. But before I would wake up early, just to do my makeup and be like, well, I can be dumb and ugly. So I was like, if I fail, at least I look good failing. Like you know what I mean? - That was me today. - That is not what I meant for all of you. - I'm into the world class. At least I look cute walking. (laughing) Maybe you guys saw me yesterday. - Maybe you saw all the time when she's getting, when she's getting ready, she's like at least like, what's it called? Like if I look good in the mirror, I feel good about myself. - Yeah, that's so real. - And when you feel good, I feel like you can walk into a class and you can walk in confident and ready to learn. Like you're like, oh, I can overcome any obstacle that comes my way. And so you know, they hit me with the bio question. I'm like, oh, just kidding. But you know, never mind. Okay, next, romantic experience. Ooh, that was-- - Oh, I got nothing. I'm drunk. (laughing) That was so much fun. I'm lucky, I'm glad though, because I came in saying, I didn't want anything the first year. Because of the fact that it was my first year. (laughing) I'm already in emotional life. - Yeah, I'm kind of glad nothing happened. (laughing) - Good luck. - Good luck. - You wanna go first? - Yeah. - Okay, hello, hello. - Honestly, this semester's been like, it's like a romantic roller coaster. I start off this semester, or like the week before the semester started. Like I was in a long-term relationship. And then, and then it just, well, it had to end because it was taking up too much time. Like, I think just boundaries and stuff. And the way that, like, I don't know, it was complicated. Let's just say that. And then I, like obviously, like, I'm not closing myself off to a relationship. I'm just saying that like, she said that, like, if it happens, it happens. And like, but I need to know that, like, I feel ready. Like, I'm not gonna force myself to be in a relationship, just to be in a relationship, or just 'cause I want companionship. - Yeah. - And I don't wanna be lonely. And so, I start talking to this guy. Terrible mistake. Don't talk to anyone that's older than you, by the way. If they're older than you and you're younger, like there's a reason why they're going for someone younger. Intent, don't ever do that. Like, obviously, if it's like a really big age gap, oh, then okay, like maybe like, oh, cool. Right? If it's like a little bit like, oh, like maybe a year or two then it's like-- - I think, like in college, mostly just thank Guidalu. - Yeah, definitely. - Because-- - Especially your freshman year. Like you know, yeah. I mean, you'll get more in-depth with it, but-- - Yeah. - I think you were an example of like, you know, freshman year, like these upper class men are gonna target us. And you know what's crazy? Before coming to Baylor, my uncle, my dad, all those men they see that, you better not go for them upper class men, like they only want one thing. And I was like, you're crazy, like no, they're upper class men, like I love upper class men. Like, you know, they're more mature. So West Island, they don't know anything. - Yeah, they're still at the same level, yeah. - It's because people have their age don't want them. - Yeah. - And like, oh, you don't know what? Anyways, let's not say that one. - And I think it's also-- - Yeah, they go out the term all the time. I didn't find out what this term until later, or like my friend Marcus, he was like, oh, so you mean a freshman killer? And I was like, where do you mean by that? And he was like, it's in the name. That always like-- - Yeah, yeah. - Um, but yeah, and like-- - I guess like, take your time and getting to know someone. Don't give yourself to someone like too fast, or like, you know, completely like protect yourself and your sanity and your mental health over everything. Like, make sure your academic is good first before you're getting into something. Yeah, that did not work out. Right now I'm talking to someone else. - That sounds really bad, but yeah. - I mean, she's in a different era in her life. - Yeah, and I'm gonna go, like, I'm going slow about it and making sure that, like, the timing is right. Like, I'm like making sure that like, my priority is academic instead of like getting in a really shape and I say all the time. And like, I mean, yeah, he supports me in like getting like further ahead in my education rather than like focusing on like what we have going on. And like, yeah. - It's been good. I really like this guy. So hopefully it goes well. We'll see. - Don't blow it, brother. (laughing) - Maybe those things. - Yeah, I hope you don't blow it. I don't blow it. - Angie? - Angie, any word? - What's your advice? - My advice. - Well, if you're going into college with like, you know, a relationship already formed and, you know, you wanna keep that going. - Okay, shit. - I do, okay. (laughing) - No, no, no. - I'm not saying anything. - You're so tough. - Look, you forgot about that, right? - It's for me too. I just explained it too. - I forget about all the time, no worries. - But no, like, if you wanna, you know, actually work something out with this person, 'cause you see yourself like having a future with them. I think it is definitely hard having to have a long distance relationship. But I mean, if you guys both put in the effort, still text each other, even if you can't text every day. It's still like text when you can, call when you can, or, you know, even visit each other whenever you, you're able to, I think it will definitely work out for you guys. - So you're saying it's possible. - It's possible, if you really can't. - I can't. (laughing) - I'm happy with the next four years. - So absolutely, it's your work, my work. (laughing) - But, no, I think if you don't let yourself, I guess forget that you have someone caring for you, someone that is there for you, especially like during college, 'cause sometimes it's really hard to even text them or call them, 'cause you're with friends, or you're in class, or you're studying. - I always just remember that there's someone else there that you care for, and that you want to, I guess, keep having a connection with. So just call them, even if it's, okay, even if it's not just like your relationship, this is like outside of relationships. Call your parents. - Oh, me. - Call your parents, call your siblings. - Ask other people for advice, also, like if you're going through something, don't go through something alone, 'cause sometimes it takes a second opinion, to make sure that you're not going crazy, and it's not as you go into advice. - Yeah, yeah. - Don't just like, yeah. - To add on to it, I think that as pre-meds, the people that we have, we're with, it's sometimes hard, especially if they're also in, 'cause I did it to someone that was a pre-med, or my last relationship was a pre-med, and the rigor in schools is so much more different. Like, no shade to your GV, love you, you turn to GV, like you gave me my dual credits, right? But like the rigor is so much more different here. Like 16 credits here. - It's not the same. - Yeah, it's not the same. It's not the same rigor. Like, I hear about all the time where it's like, oh yeah, like I can submit like half, like half done assignments, and like I'll still get a passing grade. - Wow, like here, it's like, - Has to be exceptional. - It has to be exceptional because you're held to that high standard versus like, you know, in other institutions. And even then it's like also knowing like, communication and boundaries, like if they're not okay with like, you telling them, hey, like I need time, like to do my assignments, or like, to get to know people because like, being out of your home, versus like your partner staying at home is so, so different. 'Cause you're so independent here. Like it's such a unique experience and it's such a like character forming, like moment in your life. Like being away from home is so character forming. Like I've learned so much about myself. Stuff that I didn't know because I was like, you know, like at home and it's sheltered and like, you know, you don't go out as often. Like if you're at home, 'cause you have to keep asking for permission or like, well here it's like, You practically live with your best friends. I'm like, look, look, it's even like an. Yeah, I tell her to my dad all the time. I'm like, wait, I had to ask her for a reaction. I'm like, "Ahh, I'm gonna go back." I'm like, "I don't do that in Waco." Like, they're gonna give me some of that. Oh, yeah, I call me, yeah. Let me give a shout out to my girlfriend. Because she's been so understanding. Like, since I got. Can we. No, that's not it. No, she's been so understanding, like, since I started college, she's just been very helpful. And she. Like, whenever I need to go home for, like, the semester, or things like that, she will literally show up and, like, pick up myself and, like, bring him back. Or, like. So, like, couples or whatever. And then she. Or she will, like, pick me up and now go spend some time with her at her house. Or she'll come spend time over here. So, shout out to you, baby. I love that. Um. T-B-H, I wasn't involved with anyone romantically this semester. I just don't know what I'm talking about. I really don't. I, like, I think it's really hard. Like, I think I'm the type where, if I'm focusing on one thing, I'm gonna try and give it my all. So, to me, like, like, I think I even said it before coming in to Baylor. I was like, I'm probably, like, at least this first, like, my first year, like, as a freshman. I said that I wasn't really. Like, obviously, I'm, like, yay. Like, I hope I find the love of my life here. Like, you know, but, what I mean, I told myself, I was like, you know, don't just go for the first guy. I think I noticed that. And, uh, that was a big trend, I noticed. And a lot of, like, my friends. That they went for, like, the first guy. They went up for, like, the first guy that they, like, met. Or they were like, oh, my God. He's so sweet. He goes to church. He's a family guy, and I'm, like, L.O. Like, yeah, like, you know, he's cute. He's sweet, but, oh. That's, like, the biggest thing that I, I think I learned from others, like, other people's experience was not going for the first person you see. Or, like, you know, yeah. Yeah. Also, I'm sorry. I'm not ecstatic. But, another big thing is, like, trust is earned. You, like, I forget that. Like, because I like to give people my trust. Like, if you break it, then, well, that's it. But then, like, when it comes to, like, especially romance, it really should just trust is earned. Because you don't know this person. Yeah. They could be some way with, as a friend, and then they could be someone else as a romantic. Like, because, like, I know people that are great as, like, friends, but versus, like, romantic partners, like, unfortunately, you're not romantic. Yeah. Pots of real. Yeah. And, like, especially here, because it's, like, like, Yannis had earlier, like, it's, you're living two different lives at home, and then here, and then, like, how they are at home is way different here, and totally, like, sweet picture, like, here. And then, the moment they get home, we're like, you know what I mean, vice versa. Visually, yeah. Yeah, it's totally different. Yeah. We get, we get, we get, we get a very vulnerable stage, and like, I don't know. Yeah. Let us know if you want an episode just going, like, over relationships. We don't necessarily have to be, like, romantic relationships, but, like, how to manage your relationships, well, in college. Like, your family, your friends, your family. Yeah, so let us know. That's the next question, actually. How was your familial transition? So, with family? For me, I feel like I'm really family-oriented. Not, like, extended family, but my parents and my sisters. Like, that's my, that's, you know, that's my everyday right now, like, I'm really close with my parents, and so it's kind of hard for me. It was hard for me at first to, like, get away from them. And then, like, I got busy here, and I was like, oh, my name's all my mom, or, oh, my name's all my dad. Yeah. And then, like, I would call them every day, but I think when it came to finals week, my mom and me would bump heads a lot. And because she was like, you haven't called me all day, and I was like, I'm sorry, I've been studying, like, and then, like, I'd break down on the phone, and she would break down on the phone. And, like, during the winter break, we talked, and we were like, it's okay, like, I was like, you have to know, like, I'm okay. Yeah. And I was like, and I know, like, I need to do better communication with her. And we just talked about it in a new day. And then, my sisters, how does it miss them so much? Awesome. I did. I'm going to start crying. I miss them right now. It's real. Okay. But, like, they're getting so much older, and they're not little anymore, and it's so sad. 'Cause they're like, oh, I like this now. I was like, what did you do? I was like, what did you want it to watch? Like, when you were not watching "Blood Now," you wanted to make a. What? This one's saying, I was just like, like, I had like a bunch of the places at home. I was games my younger sister recently, and I was like, yeah, you know. She was like, oh, really? Yeah. I was just so nice, and like, they're funny. Like, I would never tell them that, but they're hilarious. They get it, they don't know that. They do listen to the podcast, but anyway. But yeah, they're hilarious. They get it from me. They get everything. Oh, okay. Nobody knows who this is. Like, what I got home, like, my sisters started liking the same things. I like, like, right now, like, they're like, like, the funny angels. And like, the blues are so, like, popular. And then the moment I started telling my dad about it, my sisters, like, I won't win, too. I won't win, too. So, like, obviously, like, I bought her like a sunny angel and like, a little, like, turn her heart's content, and then she went, wow, with them, like, with her Christmas money, like, ran with it. So. Okay, wait. Really quick. Are we all like the older sisters? When the oldest. Yeah, yeah. When the oldest kind of. Yeah, I am the oldest. Yeah. I think, sorry, I don't mean to interrupt you, but I think as the oldest, I think it hurts really hard. And I think what you just said about, like, how your sisters, like, or how you specifically said, how you're like, she's lucky, like, being me. You know, she's liking what you like. I think that's a big thing with, like, older sisters. Because we're kind of like their role model. Like, you know, sometimes I don't think about it, and I'll be like, main to my sister. I'm like, okay, okay, jeez. Jeez. I'm like, okay, jeez. And she's just like, oh my god, you call me a jeez, and you're like, oh, girl, let me tell you. I'm not in this way. And so, I think that, that, like, us being the role models, I think it plays a big role. And I think us being here at Baylor, and like, not being older there, it's really hard. Like, and we're back for like, break, and it's like, they grew to inches more. I'm like, yeah, my sister's the same. Hi, Esme. Oh, my god. Oh, bro. You're like in sixth, seventh grade, and I'm like, bro. Yeah. That's all around. Sorry. I'm taking it. I think it's, I don't know. It's painful. Because, like, you realize that, like, at least for my sister, my sister is the only child, like, besides me. Which means that, like, she's getting her girl pretty much as a solo. A solo child instead of, like, a person with a younger sister, like, in her developmental ages. And, like, we probably won't have, like, as close of a connection until she gets, like, a phone where she can actually text her, call me. Because, like, my sister right now is, like, focus on, like, TV and stuff. And, like, I call home, and she's either asleep or, like, watching TV. And then, she comes, she's like, hi, and then runs back off to watch TV. And then, like, she's with Alina. I just called my mom today. Like, oh my gosh, she was snoring, you know. I called, and I was like, oh, has Alina, like, let me talk to her. Let me see her. I, and then, blah, blah, and then the phone. I was like, hi Alina. She's like, oh, hi. It goes back to the get the fuck out. I'm like, okay. Yeah, it goes back to when I go to yoga. Like, I said, you're like, oh, I miss you so much. Like, I'm like, yeah. I'm like, it doesn't seem like I call you to say, what's up? And you're just ignoring me. Yeah. So, like, it's also a really big motivator remembering that, like, if you do bad here, it sets the standard for your siblings. Yeah. Because, like, with the moment I say, I don't like it here anymore. Like, my sister's like, oh, then maybe I don't. She said it multiple times, too. Like, I'm like, oh, like, I guess I'm struggling. And she's like, oh, then I don't want to go out of city. Yeah. And that, like, that's like, no, like, you get out of here. Like, you're home with the wind and like, you take that. And I'm like, also, like, with my parents, it's been such a transition. Because, like, my dad was kind of like, okay, girl, go home with the wind. Yeah. Yeah, like, the thing is, it's like, I was like, I didn't have a bandit. I go, what's the wind that meant this? Like, my mom says all the time. And, like, my dad, he let me run with it. But, my mom, I think it's because, like, me and my mom have such a close relationship. And it's kind of hard. Like, she says it all the time. She's like, I miss my passenger princess. And I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, like, for her, it's a lot, I feel like it's been a lot harder for her, like, realizing that, like, I'll forever be her little girl, but I'm not little anymore. And she, like, like, there's like, yes, I'll make mistakes. But, like, they're my mistakes to make as long as I don't get arrested or as long as I don't do anything. Like, life-threatening or, like, you know, other stuff. Like, I'm, I'm going to have to learn from my mistakes. And, like, if those mistakes I have to make, you can, like, you know what I mean? I don't know. And plus, like, mom's always worried. Like, I feel like my dad's like, okay. Like, that's what he does. Like, obviously, he does worry, right? In his own way. Dad's like, I think they're more chill. I think they keep it somewhere internal. They keep it. Yeah, they keep it. Especially my mom's like, oh, I'm so sorry. You're gonna be like, my mom's like, your dad's chill. But, like, when my close daughter's, he's like, what should I do? Yeah, I feel like, especially like, was that, you know, men? Like, they keep it, like, they keep their emotions more internal. Like, their thoughts. more internal. I think that like the only person actually sees like what my dad is like, I don't know, like the internal thoughts is obviously like my mom right now. His part is married. But yeah, I think I don't know, like there's times where like, or at least when I went back home, like it was looking kind of like, oh my god, like I'm sorry mom if you're listening or done. But it's kind of suffocating because you're like, Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, it's so embarrassing. Oh, she said, oh she said that one. We're going deep. No, but it's true, but it's because you have so much independence here, like, you don't understand. I live with my friends. If I don't-- It's a completely different home. Yeah, I hate to say, but if I go to their dorm, which is right next door, you know what I mean? Literally, a couple of the words down. I can stay the night. Like, you don't know, it's got to say it, not-- I'm like, I'm a little bit of a slave to our link. It's a couple of the words down. And then, like, it's still like the Latino, like, you know, being like, who are their parents? I haven't met them. I haven't talked to them. Like, what do they do? Is they're men in the house? Yeah. And that's why I'm not-- I was like, I hope to-- I think we all have to infer her to, like, this one, right? I think we all have to infer her to, like, this break where she was like, oh my god, you're going to live without rules in your apartment. Yeah. And that was, like, trust me. Like, rules, like-- I feel like we're pretty good at setting them, though. Like-- I think if-- I want things to make us uncomfortable, we all just avoid that. Like, we don't-- we're less than-- We really want to stuck here to each other. Yeah. I don't know. It's been-- I'm a different person here than I am at home. [LAUGHTER] Yeah? Oh, gosh. [SPEAKING SPANISH] [SPEAKING SPANISH] [SPEAKING SPANISH] [LAUGHTER] [SPEAKING SPANISH] [SPEAKING SPANISH] [SPEAKING SPANISH] [SPEAKING SPANISH] That's what I told my mom where I'm like-- or like my mom says all the time she's like, oh, you don't come here for vacation. I'm like, is I do actually-- But I am. This is actually a vacation. Like, obviously, I do have roles. And I do have responsibilities as an older sibling. And then as-- I was like, their child, I have responsibilities. But you have to remember that I do come here for a vacation. This was like my lot of times off from school when I have to worry about other stuff. And I don't even have time to take care of myself and bedrock. You know? That's the real thing ever. [SPEAKING SPANISH] I'm like an adult here. No one I'm back with my mom. I feel like a little kid again. Yes. I want to feel like a little kid at least. Yeah. I want to get spoiled. Yeah. There's times when you do whenever it comes paying for stuff. [SPEAKING SPANISH] [SPEAKING SPANISH] [SPEAKING SPANISH] When I got back, I was like, when I was over there, I was like, I need a bus to FHB. And she's like, why don't you just buy your own money? And I was like, no, I have to ask for them. I'm going to buy it over here so my dad can pay for it. [LAUGHTER] I said that I'd test my FHB. I told her whenever I went to HB, I was like, I give mint. And I was like, why didn't I go to HB when I was with my parents? I'm telling y'all, if I go home this Friday, my plan is literally boppy. I need some stuff. Let's go to HB and let him like his girl. I kept me wasting my allowance. I can't. I'm trying to be better at financial stuff. Because my dad is like really like financially aware of everything. Yeah. So he's like, what happened to that? My dad checked you. My transaction. I saw your new new transaction. I was like, ooh, ooh, you're going to get a transaction. That's who the dad was talking about. You're new right now. You're like, you're not actually-- [LAUGHTER] The big yellow. I'll check it. [LAUGHTER] Anyways, continue. But yeah, that's like been my experience with my parents. My experience with my mom when I left for college. It was sad. I feel like we all got the job right. No, I'm weird. Oh, yeah. I'm weird. I'm weird. Yeah, I'm weird. I don't want them to see me cry. Oh, no, I was crying. I was on my eyes. I didn't care. But I feel like when I'm here, she worries. Obviously, like every parent goes. But then I get back there and we bicker a lot. I'm like, but then I know she still loves me. And whenever I leave, she's like, come with stars. Yeah, you guys. So every year. Yeah. So I'm like, she cares. I-- She does see me. Oh, my God. She does. She does. But with Celeni, oh my God. They're practically like-- That girl's so funny. You're so scared. I might just serve her like when we were saying anything. No, literally. Like every time I call her, she's on the phone. If she calls me, it's because she loves that a roadblocks and she needs to log back in. Dude. [LAUGHTER] I didn't see them. I didn't see me. OK, it's because my sister has not discovered roadblocks or minecraft yet. Oh, wait until she finds it. But it doesn't make me-- My mom also says I catch her on a tight lesion. It's like, no phone or anything. Let's keep it that way. But no, I think my mom's really good about me, like being more independent and more mature. Because she doesn't-- like, not anymore, at least-- actually since senior year, from maybe junior year, I don't remember. But she doesn't really ask what I'm doing. Like, I just don't know. I'm going to go out with some friends. That OK? She trusts his-- Yeah, I just go-- I just go out. --and I just go out with some friends. And she's like, well, if Tiki woke us, it was-- Yeah. Yeah, so like the love of Tari-Ti. That's why it's on her too. They have Kibak-I-Woke. Well, let me learn more about my son. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. Yeah, that's basically it. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you, Mom. I think for me, my familial transition, as you can the beginning, it didn't affect me as much, because they hadn't hit me. Because, you know, for Phil, so we were here a week beforehand. And so I was really busy with Phil, so I really got to talk to them. And then the following week was welcome week. And I was just taking out with all my friends. So I was always busy doing something, so I was thinking-- --or feeling my emotions. Or I was-- yeah, I didn't feel the void. Yeah. And so then it wasn't until the third or fourth week when I was just so down that whole week. I mean, we were at a healthy, earned meeting. And like Magdalene texted me like, after the meeting, she's like, hey, you were down. Like, you're really quiet. Like, are you OK? And I was like, oh, hello, all. That was whenever we went to Zacatecas, guys. Let me tell you, changed my life forever. Lest Zacatecas. No, but yeah, like, she was like, oh, like, let's go have some tacos. Like, you know, you'll feel some familiarity. And I was like, oh, yeah, let's go. Like, we went. And, you know, we talked about it. And I was like, you know, like, I didn't like realize how much like being away from home, like, affected me. Because I'm like, you like, I'm also a family-oriented person. Like, I have a really close bond with my parents, my siblings. I mean, even my cousins, like, my aunt, my uncles, like, all of them. I mean, my grandparents do, like, I'm really close to my family. So leaving home was really hard, especially with my grandmother, like, my grandma's health, and her, like, being in the hospital. And so it was really hard because I feel really guilty for not being there to help with everything that's going on with her. Because, you know, like, I'm out here living my life. I'm out here going shopping, like, I'm going to Lulu, spending all my money, like, you know, like, I'm doing so much here. And it's like-- and then I have my family back at home, like, worrying about my grandma's health. And I mean, I've said it before, like, I tell them, like, they're like, no, like, don't feel guilty. Like, you know, you're still keeping up to date with her health. Like, we texted in the group chat. And I'm like, if I'm being honest, like, I really look at that group chat. Like, I'm like, I really look at it. Like, if I look at it, it's probably at night when I'm like trying to fall asleep. And I'm like doing, like, a deep breath of my day. But it's like, it's hard being away from home. And I remember it didn't hit me till, oh my gosh, this is so embarrassing. I was on TikTok. [LAUGHTER] It was on every room. I was on those ones that attacked you, like, personally. Yes. And it was this video of this little girl who stopped, so, yes. Stop, stop, a fight, right? It was a video of this little girl. And she was, like, little, little, like, maybe three or four. And her dad had just came home from work. You know, he was away. She was at home with her mom. And her dad comes home and he opens the door. And she's like, "Buffy!" And she, like, runs to him. I've been posted it. And she, like, runs to him. I started bawling. It's the music. I miss my puppy. I miss my mommy. And I remember, I think my cousin called me her. I called her. She's like, why are you crying? I was like, I just saw a really sad TikTok. And she's like, let me see it. I said it to her. She's like, girl, that's not sad. That's cute. I know I was like, I miss my parents. And she was just like, oh my gosh. Like, you know, like, it's finally hitting you. And I was like, yeah, so it was really hard, I think. Just being away from home, it's really hard. And I try and face time with them, you know, the most that I can, just because I don't want to lose that bond. I don't want to lose that relationship with them. But it's like you said, like, sometimes we just get so busy with our schoolwork. Like, I know, like, last semester, like, Tuesdays were the worst days for me. And my dad knew it. He was like, "Oh, like what's your schedule for today?" And I'll see kids Tuesday, Bucky. He was like, "Oh, never mind, like I. " I already know you got me. - It's classic. - It's classic. - Yeah, so I don't know. - It's a lot. - It was really hard. And then being away from my sister was hard. Like when the Milana movie came out, I was so sad because the whole theme of that movie were not the theme, but like, you know, she had a little sister. And I felt like when I was watching it, I was like, oh my god, this reminds me of Alina. Like you know me and Alina and I was like, wow. And like there's a scene specifically. We're like the little sister. She's like, I don't want you to leave. And he reminded me so much of my sister because she's like, no, like don't leave. Like I'm gonna miss you. Like you're not gonna come back. And I'm like, no. - So that is the same thing. - Yes, they always say that. I'm like, no, you guys say so. Like I'm gonna be back. Like it's just like, why do you have to leave? And I'm like, oh, and that's cool. I'm like the same way. You go to school. - I'm like, you're not the perfect person. - I'm like, I'm the perfect person. - Exactly. - I can be the best. - I can be the best person. - For the whole entire content, I just need to let me live. I think as for trust, it took a while for my parents to trust me. I remember one time, oh my gosh, I was out. I was out farting. It was like the first week or so. I don't even know if I should be saying this. But I was out, living my life. And my dad calls me. I think he was already like 12, maybe one inch. My dad calls me and I don't answer. I'm like, oh my God. My dad's calling me. What do I do? And I'm like, I'm not gonna answer. I'm gonna sleep. I'm not gonna answer. I'm gonna sleep. - Right, we're asleep on the bell. - Is your medication? - Yes, I stopped. - I stopped my life through 61, but not my fine, my iPhone. Kim Minsa, literally so dumb. - So then we get to my friends' apartment and I'm like, let me call my dad. We're like, hi, Papi. What happened? Sorry, I was busy. And he was like, where are you? Why is your location on life? I was like, oh my God. I was like, listen. I'm like, I'm out with my friends. I'm okay. I was like, I'm not doing anything that shouldn't be doing. I was like, I'm just calling them. Like, you know, I'm okay. And he was like, you had me worried. Like, I didn't know where you were. I don't know my contest. He was like, you're fault, I didn't have to stir up. You're fault's never on it. I'm just stirring up. And I was like, you know, I didn't realize how like, you know, as parents, it's hard. Like, your kids are away. You can't control them. Like, they can literally do whatever they want. And like, my dad, we went to the gym. We went to the gym. Yeah. Sorry, puppy. Not like, give us a seat. But, you know, what is he going to do, you know? And so, I think in that moment, like, I kind of reflected on that time. And I was like, wow, like, you know? So then I started being more open with my dad. And I started telling him, like, oh yeah. So like, every Saturday now, he's like, oh, you're going to go out. I'm like, no, I'm not. But thanks. They're letting me know it's okay. You know? So I think I've learned to trust my dad and just like, build that relationship and just know, like, it's okay to tell them that kind of stuff. And he, I think he's also kind of learned to just like, chill and just be like, you know, she's in college. Like, she's going to go out. Like, she's going to do that kind of stuff. Like, you just have to trust her. So I always tell them, I'm like, you have to trust me and trust my judgment in friends. Like, you know? But-- It's more like trusting that they raise you. Right? Trusting that? Yeah. Like, your parenting. That's what I think of all the time where it's like, trusting that like, their parenting is-- It's something. Yeah. And like, it is good. Like, you just have to trust me in that like, the parenting was like, you know what I mean? That you affected me. Yeah. And then like, for like, the-- I can't relate to like having like a family member who's, like, in the hospital and stuff like while you're in college. Yeah. But like, for me, like, before I left college-- [SIDE CONVERSATION] Oh. Oh, my god. Oops. Technical difficulty. I-- part of the reason I didn't want to go away from like, browns of what where I live is because my grandpa was sick, like, he had Alzheimer's. I mean, like, we knew it was like, between his last, like, couple of, like, years or months. And then, like, part of me, like, in my junior, I realized we really do want to go away. And I kind of have to trust. Sorry. Yeah, he's changed, like, finally. [LAUGHTER] Even so. I'm taking it off. Ready? [LAUGHTER] OK, we're good. OK. Curial. It's-- I think about it all the time. We're like, he-- like, I remember, like, he would tell me, like, go get your education. Yeah. Go, like, you know, go live your life. And like, I think about all the time. And like, that's kind of like, what helps? Like, with the guilt. Or, like, you know what I mean? That's what kind of helped me, like, kind of, like, when I applied for bail, I was like, OK, like, I'm going to be doing this for my education. Because in the end of the day, like, my education is a way of repaying it forward. Because, like, what I want to do is I want to do, like, geriatrics and stuff. Like, I want to help older people. So in my brain, I think about it, like, I'm-- You're helping people. --people with a screen parents. Yeah. And, like, that's what he would want me to do. Or, like, he was always such a, like, a person that wanted to help other people. Like, he was so selfless that I'm like, he would want this-- Like, you know what I mean? This is his, like, parenting. We're not parenting, but, like, you know what I mean? Yeah. He's affect as a grandparent onto me. So, period. I think that kind of happened the same thing with me. Like, with the guilt, I think, a lot of the time, I try to think back to, like, what are my grandparents would think. And, like, I saw Charlie the other day, like, I see my grandpa, and he'd be wearing that bailer hat. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. Like, you know, it just-- it kind of helps me just a little bit, because I'm like, you know, he's wearing it proud. And then, like, when I talk to my grandma about, like, college, like, you know, the smile in her face, and just, like, the joy, like, I see how, like, happy and how proud she is of me. And it's just, like, it helps a little bit with the guilt, because I'm like, you know, I'm hearing. I'm like, it's OK. Like, like, I'm doing what my grandparents couldn't. You know, like, they want this for me. So, it ups a lot. And then I think about the fact that my-- like, my other grandma, she's out there telling her doctors, oh, yeah, me. Minita was her doctor, like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a studio, like, or it's a staff, like, a staff, and the colleague, and I'm just like, OK, bro. Like, now I gotta go through it. I can't feeling any notion. You got cut, like, that cousin or, like, you know? Yeah. Like, here where it's like, oh, yeah, she ended up going through it. And all right. She ended up dropping off, like, junior year. Yeah, I can't. Yeah, I can't. So, I don't know. Looks question. Next question. Let's do-- Do you think your personality switch from your senior year of high school to your freshman year? Do you think it was positive or negative? I can talk about this all day, but-- No, you go, you go, you go. OK. I definitely changed. Senior year me, and, like, freshman year here at Baylor, I changed a lot. And I don't think I changed in a negative way. I think it was positive, because if I being honest, like, senior year me, being the thingy, that, like, I wouldn't speak up for myself. Like, I would just take stuff from people. And I think-- I mean, you know me now. Like, you know who I am. Like, you know? Now, it's just like, I speak up for myself. And it's like, if something's bothering me, I'm not just going to bottle it up. I'm going to say it's shirt up to you. I'm going to tell you how it is. And I'm not going to sugarcoat anything either. And I think a lot of people have learned that from me. Some people have learned it. The hard way some people have learned it, but I'm not sugarcoding. And I'm not here to baby anyone. So it's just like, we're grown adults, and you're going to hear it. You know, if you're saying something that's messed up or you're acting a certain way, like, I'm not going to just sit here and be like, like, go with it. No, like, I'm going to speak up. So I've definitely changed a lot in that sense. I think-- yeah, I've changed. And I'm happy with the way that I-- like, with the person I'm becoming, I don't think it's necessarily changed. I think it's more gross. Because I also, I think, like, back in high school-- I mean, I've said it before. I always wanted to start a podcast, but I never did it. And it's like, I came to Baylor and, woo! Here's a podcast. It's do it. And like, you know what I mean? So I think it's so funny. And like, I'm not so scared of new stuff anymore. I'm not scared of putting myself out there either. And I think I became really extroverted now. Like, I'm not so introverted. Yeah, like, I feel like now, like, the friend gives, like, oh, like, I need to social butterfly. And it's like, if you say that, so like, one of my teachers, like, back at home, she'll be like, girl, what are you talking about? Like, it's La Masta, yada, pero la Masta es más sen. I'm like, fuck, no. Like, now I'm la Masta es más sen. You're going to hear me come in a while, anyway. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but, you know, like-- I'll give that up to you guys. Yeah. I'll let you guys decide. But yeah, that's me. Anyway, that's what the-- I think for me, I think, seeing her here, I was really extroverted. I was like, I don't know. I was always really happy, too. Like, it was a stressful time. Don't get me wrong. But I always did try to find the tunnel. And then last semester, it was just so dark. It was so bad. It was really bad. And I, like, I let insecurities get in until that led me to be introverted. And slowly, like, I think when I started hanging out with y'all more, I slowly started getting back to my old self. And I think, like, towards the end, it did get positive. And I do feel myself, like, getting more out of my cell than I should. Like, as I should-- Period, boogie. Yeah. And I think, instead of, like, being introverted, just more cautious about who I talk to and how I spend my time around. And what you say? And what I say. And yeah. Oh my God guys, let me tell you my senior year in my actual high school. Like, because I went to two schools. So my next school and my second school. I had no friends. We don't talk about why. But I had like no friends there. I had my girlfriend only, right? Yeah. And I kind of got used to just being with her. So that kind of took a toll on our relationship for a little bit. Because it was like, that's the only person I had. So we would always spend time together. And then we realized we need space to have-- she does her own things. I do my own things. That's what builds a strong relationship. Am I taking school? I'm taking that. Yes, take notes. But I went to every school I had friends. I met some really cool people. Some from my high school, some from other schools. And they were so much fun to hang out with. I make plans with them sometimes when I can, whenever I'm back at home. If I'm able to. Last time I got COVID, so let's not say-- I'm not talking about that one. Yeah. But I think then I was very like-- at senior year, why try to make friendships when you're about to graduate? But I think it was during April, maybe, when I started getting closer to them. And literally the last few weeks that we had to school, like that was the best. Those were my friends. And I loved it so much. And now when I came to Baylor, I was like, I should make friends. But obviously with like, you know, finding the right people at first, it was kind of hard to make friends. And then I met Yani. And she was my friend. And then I met Estebania and Andrea. And they were also really cool. I think there was a specific time where I got closer to them. And then I met Sophia and Rebecca. And it was like, oh my god, you guys are so much fun. And they're like the people that I really connect with. And I think it's important to have those connections, especially whenever you're so far away from your family, because you just-- you need somebody to be there for you. So that's how I changed from my senior year from going to like, I don't need friends, I'm about to graduate. It's like, I need to make friends no matter what. Mm-hmm. I'm really proud of you, Pookie. Thank you. And for me, my senior year, it was rough. Like really, really rough, because I was going through like-- my first semester of my senior year, I was like, OK, I'm chilling. Like, I'm doing good. I'm doing pretty good. Like, good enough for my senior year, right? And then like, in January on the 27th, like, my grandpa passed away. And so like that, like-- like, it threw me through a loop. But like, senior year in general-- I mean, just in high school in general, I didn't really have friends. Like, I would get a relationship. And like, my boyfriend was my friend, which is really-- which really sucks to say, right? Like, I did have my friends in high school. And like, I love them, right? But they were friends in high school. I would have high school if that makes sense. Like, it was people that like-- I mean, I do-- like, I still talk to some of my friends. Like, I've always been like the type to be like-- oh, like, [SPEAKING SPANISH] eat the soda and the noodles, right? For translation, like, your friends, you can count them with one hand. And like, you have extra fingers. And so like, there's only like two people that I could really like, oh, yeah, like, these are my friends, like, from high school. Or like, not from high school, but from home. That time, yeah. And like, in a way that like, only having your boyfriend is like, it creates a whole different level of dependence. And then on top of that, like, it adds like another layer of loneliness because like, you don't really know who to call when like, you need a second opinion, besides your mom, obviously. But there's like things that like, you know, like, and they're amigos, you know? And the do-it-do mama, for example. Yeah. Because they're not living it. Like, as a mom, like, you see it in such a different way versus like, you know what I mean? Because if I tell my mom like something that's going on right now, it's going to be like, oh, why are you making me so big deal about it? Yeah, but they're not the back story. Yeah, like, they're not there to witness everything, right? Or go through what you're going through. Or go through. And it's her for them to give advice when like, they're not witnessing it, like, firsthand. Or like, not firsthand, but like, even secondhand. And in a way, like, right now in college, like, this is like the most friends I've had. Like, like, for your friends, I can be like, OK, like, let's go out. Let's go have like a chilly moment. Because I never had like a moment where I was like, OK, like, let me call my friends up and let's go hang out. That's so real. Until like, I got here. And like, honestly, it's been so great. Like, I love having friends. Like, I love you guys so much. And like, I'm so appreciative for all of you guys. And-- Yeah. Get it? Get it? Yeah. Person wise, like, fully-- like, I don't know. I feel like there's positive and negative aspects of like how I've changed as a person. I was very sheltered in high school. I was a sheltered. I didn't have a lot of like life experience in a way. And like, here in college, I feel like I've experienced like-- I've aged like two or three years, like, just by like a semester alone. And like, in a way, like, there's certain things I don't like about myself. Like, where I'm like, OK, like, I don't like the way that I'm acting. Like, you know that one Kanye West song where it's like, I hate like the rude Kanye or like the bad rude Kanye. Like, yeah. Like, I'm not a bad mood. But like, there's certain things where I'm like, me in high school would not have like stuck it. Yeah. I'm gonna talk to you and look at you. Yeah, or not. Or like, me in high school would have never done something like that. Or like-- Yeah. Taken something like that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, there's something like that. Yeah, certain things like that. Well, in other ways, like, in positive aspects, I would say that like, I can self-reflect now and be like, OK, like, is this something I-- You know what I mean? And then, like, be able to put myself in those uncomfortable or painful situations, like to make sure that I'm like happier. Or like, I'm going through something that I know will benefit me in the future. I can like-- I'm more of a social butterfly now, I would say. Like, I'm-- yeah, I'm excited. Like, there's like certain things where like, it's like, OK, like, I like the way that I'm becoming. Like, I feel like I'm more-- I feel like I become more of an epithetic person and a more compassionate person in a way. Because like, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. It's hard to explain. Like, it's hard to explain when-- Like, you guys aren't living it, right? But like, in my brain, like, they're certain things where I'm like, OK, I still need to fix this about myself. While other things, I'm like, OK, I'm proud of the growth I've done. And like, I feel more of a mature person now because I can recognize and I can like, speak openly about certain things. Yeah. Yeah, I love that for you. I like that we've all-- I feel like we've all grown in the sense that we acknowledge a lot now. And we reflect. I think that's one thing-- like a positive thing that I think I can say about all of us is, I mean, just within our first semester here, I've seen it with every single person. Like, firsthand, like, I've seen where you guys like, take something as you consideration. You all acknowledge that something's wrong or like, there's a situation that it's not right. And you reflect on it or like, you act on it. So I'm really proud of all of you, girls. I think we've all done a really great job. We're also all first-generation college students. So I mean, we made it through the first semester. No guidance is shout out to us. Guidance would-- No guidance would, like, from our parents. Yeah. Shout out to us because I think we did the best that we could. And at the end of the day, we still did more than our parents did. Not in an ugly sense. Like, I'm not saying that in like, oh, like, well, at least you're doing something. No, like, you know, we're setting the new standard. And we've gone further than then. Like, let's keep going far. Let's keep going the thing. Yeah. But anyways, I know this has been a really long podcast. So we're going to close it off with one piece of advice. Or if you have more advice that you want to say, go for it. But at least one piece of advice. Overall. OK, I start. Advice I have for, I guess, people coming into college. New college freshmen take advantage of all the opportunities you get with your friends. I know we've been told here whenever you're invited out. If by the third time you don't go out, don't expect that person to ask you again. Or if you ask someone to hang out with you and by the third time, they still say no. Then don't waste your time. Yeah, come on. But yeah, definitely take advantage of hanging out with friends, making new connections. And then for people coming in with relationships already, if you know what's going to work up between you, definitely work towards becoming better at communicating and like spending time together when you're able to. and just letting each other know that you guys are still there for each other even though you may be busy with growing and doing different things in your lives. Like at the end of the day you still come back to each other and it's like it's not nothing has changed. So that's my advice. Call your parents. Call your siblings. Tell them you love them. Tell them you love them and check in. Call your grandparents. Don't let one bad person or one bad experience ruin what you have going for you. Don't let that make you think, "I'm gonna drop out like now. I'm gonna do nothing." I'm gonna just do nothing because you're here for a reason and if you're first generation especially you're setting that standard for the future generations to come. You know the older generations are like looking, "I wanna say looking up at you but they are. They admire what you're doing because they never got that chance to do it." So make them proud. Here. For me I would say it's important to take a time and pause and reflect. Whether it's on a daily basis every morning and night or once a day or it's important all the time to reflect on how you're doing mentally, physically, educationally, academically, romantically, how your friendships are doing, making sure that you are the person. I think about all the time, it's something that keeps me in check all the time. Would I want to be a friend to myself? Does that make sense? If someone else was meeting me for the first time would they want to be my friend? Am I being kind to everyone? That also goes for academically, check yourself before you forget your stuff. Yeah, before it gets too late and before it gets too bad, acknowledge yourself early on that you need to seek help and you need to do something about it fast because it's so easy. The time goes by and college is so fast, faster than high school, faster than anything, faster than your entire life. I swear it blinked and it was already final season and I swear the same thing will happen this semester. I don't give a start. I'm not starting. We're on our first day so far. You're like yourself. Your friendships, making sure that those friendships service you and you service them. You are a benefit to their life in a way that you help them out in some way or that you make an impact in their life and they make a positive impact in yours. Are they good influences to be around? Do they make you a better person? Do they push you to work harder? Do they support you? You're not too happy? Yeah, and then make you happy and they're trustworthy people. If not, then even though it hurts and it makes you uncomfortable and it makes them uncomfortable, definitely, it's important to have those adult conversations because you are an adult now and you're not used to it. Being like, "Hey, this isn't going to work out and I need a stand on business." I respect myself and I respect you so much that I don't want to lie to you or I don't want to keep being your life if I know I'm not making a positive impact or if you're not making a mind. My dad says it too, where it's like sometimes you have your going out friends and your hangout friends versus your academically inclined friends. That's totally fine and that's not like a disrespect because sometimes there's people that you let off steam with and then there's some people where it's like, "Okay, I know if I need something academically, they're the person I go to or if I need to." Shout out Magnal and yeah. Romantically as well, yeah, reflect in that too. Don't force yourself to be in something that you don't want to be in or that you know that's not good for you. Even though in the moment it feels good, is it something that you see yourself long-term with? Some people were like, "Okay, yes, I'm dating but what are you dating for?" Me personally, I'm dating for a long term. I'm pretty sure a lot of people are. And if their goals, their life to long goals do not align with yours and why are you putting it for you to something like this? Don't waste your time. It's all like you can change them either. Don't waste your energy especially when it's so valuable right now. You know, you're burning daylight. I think about all the time where it's like, "Okay, how much time is this going to waste? How much time? I'm a costly check in my watch." Yeah. Make sure you're happy in every situation. And if not, fix it. Do something about it. Yeah, that's my advice. Do I go? Oh, I can go. Okay, I'll go. I think one of the biggest things I've had to, I guess, learn and live while being here at Baylor. And I think it's something that I don't think I'm the only one who's gone through it and it's going to continue to happen. So the biggest, one of the biggest pieces of advice I can give someone is to not force the friendship. It kind of goes back to what you were saying about not forcing anything. And it's just, if you don't click with someone, you don't click, "Yeah." You don't have to be rude to them. You don't have to go and talk behind their back. Just, you know? Let it go. And don't be scared to let it go. Because I know, specifically me, like in high school, I feel like I had a lot of friend groups and I lost a lot of friends. So my dad always tells me he's like, "Maybe you wanted a problem." And I'm like, "Fuck me, I'm not the problem." Like, don't say that, you know? But I think for me, it was really hard to just like take a step back and acknowledge that like, you know, I just didn't click with this person and that's okay. And, you know, that doesn't mean that I'm the problem because I'm not the problem. And it doesn't mean she's the problem either. You know, our personalities just don't click. So I think that's the biggest advice I can give someone is don't force anything. I mean, in the outside perspective, like if somebody is telling you like, "They don't want to be your friend anymore." Like don't take that a negative way either. Like don't take it as like, "Oh my God, like why don't you want to be my friend?" Like, did I do something? No, like, just because someone doesn't want to be your friend doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Like, you know? Like, "This doesn't work out." Yeah, you just don't click with someone and that's okay. And I think that's something that I had to learn a lot was just being okay with the fact that not everybody's going to like me and not everybody's going to like me. Like, the way that I talk to them or the way that I speak, you know? Because I've apparently I'm a very stern speaker and apparently I'm very like, you know, I'm very strong. Yeah, it's like tough love, I guess. I don't know. So that's something that I would say is like the biggest thing I've ever had to learn. And kind of going back to what Rebecca said, "Don't be scared about asking for help." I think I was really scared this first semester. I can tell you, I didn't go to a single SI session. I didn't go to tutoring and don't do that. You know, like I promise you if I would have gone, if I would have asked for more help or if I would have like acknowledged that I needed help and actually like acted on it, I definitely would have done a lot better in my classes. So yeah, don't be scared and don't feel like you have to live to that expectation that you did in high school. Like being an honor all a straight age student, like never having to study, like, you know, I'm perfect. I'm like, I'm up there. No, like high school is going to be completely different than college, especially in university. Like, and I'm sorry, but we cannot compare a community college. We cannot compare HCC, Houston Community College with Baylor University. You just can't do it. You know, it goes back to what you said with UTRGV. Like you can't compare two schools because, you know, everyone has their own expectations and not to, I'm not trying to break down like other schools like any college, any school is good. Like proud of you for doing, especially as a first generation. But you just can't compare that level of the rigorous courses that they're doing with hours because it just, it's a lot different. It's a lot different and you're not going to understand it until you're actually there and you're actually going through it. So I think that's the best advice I can give. I know that was more than one, but it's okay. No, we're all giving more than one, but it's okay. It's because we have like a lot of experience. We have a lot to say to you guys. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. I think for me, it was definitely, um, don't be afraid to reach out to the resources that you have. I think mentors are so, so important. I didn't realize how much I needed to want to talk about the hack the one. Like. I was like, God, just like go to her. I was like, okay. And so I have a good relationship with her and I spent some time with her over the break and it just made me really happy every time I saw her. Another piece of advice I would say is like, it's okay to let people go. And that is so, so. so important because not everybody's meant to be in your life forever. There are so many seasons in your life, so many chapters, and sometimes people are there not to be there forever but to teach you lessons. And I think that's something I definitely learned over the semester. There are some people where I was like, okay, I'm gonna be in this person's forever. Like we're best friends. I'm gonna be my wife. No. High school friends, I'm in a rough place with them right now. And I have realized like, it's okay. That was a chapter. If it comes back, it comes back. If it doesn't, I'm okay. If it's meant to be. It's meant to be. I'm literally breathing. I'm alive. Like I have my people. Thank you for another day. Yeah, exactly. And just know that it's okay to move on and there's no harm. I wish no harm to nobody but if they're not meant to be in your life, they're not meant to be in your life. Yeah. And that's it. And without we close it off. Yeah. Thank you for listening. Thank you guys. Thank you so much, my bowl. Shout out to everyone who's listening. Shout out to my family, my parents. Yes. Thank you so much for all the support. Shout out to Sophia's mom's class. Shout out to Duck and Bill High School. This is your mom's play, please. No, they all listen to it. Oh my god. Well, shout out to everyone. Shout out to like our parents and our friends and supporters and faculty staff of Baylor University, mentors. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much for listening and letting me know how you feel. Yeah. It's so gratifying to hear that like, you know, like people are listening to me. People are listening. Yeah, they feel relatable to a couple of freshmen. Like people who are upperclassmen, like faculty being like, yeah, like that's like, I've seen that happen with other students. So we're like, I've experienced it myself. And like, I don't know, it's gratifying to hear that we're. Yeah. Yeah. They keep you chapter in the elevator. Yeah. So it's a neat chapter in our life. And I'm grateful to be doing it with you guys. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. I'm also grateful for everybody listening. Yeah. And with that, we'll see you next time. Close it off. Bye, poohki.