Episode 176: Flesh of the Gods

Welcome to the other world, I'm your host, Jack Wagner. This episode comes from a woman named Andrea. She's married now and stay at home mom, but before that she used to work as a psychiatric medical coordinator, which I find very interesting personally. She grew up in Napa Valley. I'm sure many people know of Napa, it's a very famous wine region located in Northern California. It's an extremely beautiful place, it's known as a vacation destination and I'd say it's pretty well known as a very wealthy part of the country. Andrea, however, grew up working class in Napa. Her mom was an immigrant who worked four different jobs to take care of her and the family. Growing up, Andrea was also very close to her grandmother. After her grandmother passed, Andrea was experiencing a lot of grief. It was through this that she had the experience that you're about to hear. A series of events that took her from Napa to rural Mexico, I really loved this story. It was one that definitely took me by surprise and I think you're going to like it as well. This episode is called "Flesh of the Gods" and you're listening to other world. Hello, is this Bobby? I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die. My name is Andrea. I've grown up all over California but primarily was raised in Sonoma County, Napa valley area. Really beautiful. I grew up with a single mom working really hard for jobs. Her main job was working for an orthopedic surgeon so she ran his office and my mom also grew up in like Venezuela, Mexico, Guatemala and she stopped school at like I think eighth grade. So she's really like and she's very smart woman but just not educated formally. So she worked at an orthopedic surgeon's office and then she would type for another, I believe it was a physical therapist's office and nights and then on the weekends there was like this doctor that would come in a mobile doctor kind of thing so they would set up a clinic and I also would sometimes go and work there when I was a teenager. Doctors would come from out of town to do like assessments on medical patients and we would like be the secretaries, like open the office and let them in and yeah Napa County and Sonoma County is regarded as one of the most beautiful places and it really really is. I mean there's redwood trees and can be at the ocean in an hour and of course there's tons of wineries which are extremely beautiful but it's a very very expensive place to live. I think it's one of the most expensive counties in America probably so there's a lot of wealthy people even in like the public school system. So growing up a little bit on you know the lower scale income could at times be rough it was really prevalent once they got to like junior high and high school but I'm the kind of person I was dying to work. I was you know the second nature in 15-16 I was looking for jobs because I wanted my own money so I could you know fit in and buy the cool stuff and all that teenage girls worry about you know. I went on to study at San Francisco State and I lived in San Francisco for a long time and then I worked with foster youth doing like clinical work assessments. I was the psychiatric medical coordinator so I would kind of oversee all the youth that were in this facility and kind of meet with their psychiatrist and clinical team and kind of the plans for them and it was a pretty traumatic job that I think shaped me a lot. I constantly was diagnosing and doing clinical stuff and then becoming a mom to two boys that transference kind of bled into that so I now am a mother with two sons 10 and 5 and it's wild and I married and I no longer work and stay at home mom which is definitely a full-time job but I love it and we live in still living the the wine country of California so up in the mountains we got a creek in the back life is great so okay it should be noted that my grandma who I called grandma grandma who everyone called grandma she's actually my great aunt so my grand pa's sister but we were so close and all of the kids that were like her actual grandkids we grew up like cousins so of course I'm they're saying we're at grandma grandma's house I'm at grandma's house and my actual grandma I do not have like a close relationship with at all but everybody called her grandma grandma regardless of like who you were in the family and she was definitely the matriarch so she actually immigrated from Honduras on donkeys with her two brothers took them three months and they ended up in the San Francisco Bay area and that's where my whole family is from essentially what spans from my you know my grandparents coming over here she was just an amazing woman and I know everyone thinks that grandma's like this amazing woman but she exuded like angel energy she was always happy always looked really good too like she always had her nails done mascara on she was just a well kept person even up to the day that she passed away she had her nails done it was extremely hard on me I was 27 when I came to say goodbye to her I cried so much that I couldn't even get any words out and she who was very close to death was holding me and saying like it's so you know she could barely speak but she was saying it's okay and I couldn't even say I love you without crying I was an absolute mess and that was the last time I got to see her in the next day I believe I got a text from my aunt saying she's gonna go like come if you can so I was at work and I raised but I did not make it it was just so hard on me because I've never lost anyone close to me and it felt like I don't know the word past devastating and I'm a very empathetic and emotional person so I have a very hard time compartmentalizing thing so it was like my little son was like one and a half at the time and I was still like just walking around my house sobbing and then thinking like oh I cannot be doing this I have a kid you know I need to pull it together but for about a week straight it was just morning like crying and crying it was more than I've ever cried I've been crying for a week straight and finally you know I feel like the last few days of crying I was calling out to like the void you know like where are you and I ever gonna see you again just constantly that was like kind of my mantra like while I was crying and so I went to bed my little son was in his crib in our room and I woke up and I was it was very undreamlike it was like I was awake but somewhere else it was all dark but I could just feel that I was in this like little area of a bigger area I don't know if that makes any sense but I could see all silhouettes and shadows of people and for some reason I knew they were my family members and but I didn't have much time to discern that I was just kind of like feeling this I'm not supposed to be here but I was looking around to see like is there anyone that's not a silhouette like is there anyone that's not a shadowy you know so I'm I'm literally turning around and as I turn my grandmother comes into view and I'm telling you it was more realistic than anything I've ever seen she was emitting like this angelic glow she looked like her jovial beautiful angelic self that she looked like in life when she wasn't sick she just looked healthy she had her hair done short like she always does she had her makeup on she was smiling her big smile like she always had and she was also wearing a sweater that I had given her and that was since she was so clear I could just see everything and I was Just like oh my god, it's my grandma. She's wearing the sweater I got. gave her. Like I can talk to her, like she's telling me something. It was unbelievable. So she looked at me and I could see her face just illuminated perfectly and she was just admitting her energy that she always admitted of love and oh my god, but it was like ten times more. And there was no words spoke. It was just like a message and I totally received it and it was like super simple and clear. And also I could feel it. The second I locked eyes with her, I got this message from her like I made it. I am great. Like I'm at peace and it sounds so corny, but I was able to say goodbye to her because when I had originally say goodbye, I was crying so much. So in this vision state, I was like, oh my god. So I said, I love you. I love you so much and she said, I know. And that was about it. Like once the message was like clicked into like, oh, this is actually real. I was zapped out of that space like instantly. As I was pulled out, I just shot up in my bed. It was like going from one realm to another and I had tears running down my face and everyone's grandma has a smell. Well, my grandma had like a certain perfume that was just her smell. And it was like, it was like it was somebody had poured her smell all over me and stuffed it up my nostrils. Like when I woke up, I was covered in it and it scared the shit out of me because I knew it was real. Like it made me be like, what does the word real even mean? Like I was just somewhere else. I just said goodbye to my grandma. That was not a dream. So I ran into the bathroom. I splashed water on my face. I could smell it still for like the next 15 minutes her smell was just clinging to me, which I mean, that's that's never happened before or after. It was just extremely intense but beautiful. And it gave me a lot to like kind of think about an unpack. I knew it wasn't. It just wasn't a dream. Dreams, you know, you wake up and you're like, Oh, it was I was at your house, but it looked like this. And it was crazy. And I forget this part and then all of a sudden, no, this was like you're in a space. I was in a place like, but was wild. I truly felt the reason for this visit was to let me know because I had been mourning so hard and I, you know, didn't get to say goodbye the way I wanted to because I was such a mess. So that's what this kind of was. It was kind of my I said, Oh my God, I'm so glad you're okay. I love you. And she's just kind of like the message just was reiterated like, yep, I'm here. And she was just emitting this unnatural, beautiful glow. Like I can still see exactly how she showed up in my mind right now because it was so clear, which dreams are not like that. Dream slash vision. I mean, I call it a vision. I know it wasn't a dream, but was really healing for me. It was also I mean, super alarming because it really opened up this whole other. I've always been open to what's, you know, what's going on. And but at that time I didn't really even have like, I was on Reddit or I didn't investigate. I was just like, I know what happened to me. So I told my mom, I told my aunts, I told my family members and they all believed me. I mean, I was really shook up by it, but it was also super healing because I never really felt like I had a proper goodbye. And now I firmly believed that wherever she was was it was good. That was the whole message. Time goes by. You know, it's rough on our family without my grandma, but I definitely have tried to keep the family together. You know, everyone's married and goes to their different people's houses for things, but we always make sure that we come together. I have like a pot luck at my house every fall with my family before Thanksgiving. And I try to like carry out things that I know my grandma would want me to do, like stay in touch with my family members. My grandpa still lives in Guatemala. So I call him and I visit him. We were just there in October. Life went on, you know, I felt a lot better after I had gotten to see her in the vision and I knew she made it, whatever that meant. It was good. It was just a really, really good thing. I wanted to go back to that so bad, but I didn't know how to tap into that. I would say, like, come visit me again, you know, kind of in my head at night. And I never had it happen again. Flash forward. This was 2025. So last year. My mother-in-law is a yoga instructor and she proposed the idea that we go to this yoga retreat in Guerrero, Mexico in this small little town. It's very close to Guatemala and it's in the Mesoamericas, which is like the lower part of Mexico, El Salvador, Honduras, Guatemala. So that felt like a strong, like tied to my culture. I was really excited about the area that we were going to, specifically. I do yoga, but it was really appealing to me because my grandpa is still to this day lives in Guatemala in my entire life, you know, I've gone back and forth. He's gone back and forth, but I had not seen him or been down to Guatemala in a really long time. And so I was really excited just to go immerse myself and be down there, be close to my roots. So it was definitely something that I had no hesitation. I knew I had to go. I was super excited about it. So this woman came as a part of the retreat that lives there. Her name is Adriana. She does not call herself a shaman. It absolutely doesn't use that word, but she is a, I think the way she described herself is like holder of the past and like holder of cultural ceremonies and traditions. And it's very important and special to her. And she's a local. She lives with all the people that live in this tiny town. And she does these sacred ceremonies to get closer to spirit. It's kind of the way she explained it. Ideally, when I saw her, I mean, she's striking. She just has this thick, long black hair and these amazing bangs. And she wears this beautiful dress and beats a drum. And I am not easily impressed. I haven't fangirled over someone like ever. And after I heard her speak and just the way she held herself and the way she looked, everything. I was like, wow, I was totally like taken with her. And she did a ceremony with us with cacao beans grinded down. And they mix it with lots of like different things like turmeric. And it's like a very, very thick hot chocolate. She does drumming and singing you lay down. It kind of opens your heart a little bit. And I was so impressed and like interested in her that after the cacao ceremony, she mentioned she said, and two days, we're going to do another ceremony. It's a psilocybin ceremony. So you can go quite a bit deeper than the cacao and thinking, like, yeah, this is like drinking hot chocolate. And I felt good after it, but nothing like super psychedelic. So she's like, yeah, I do these ceremonies with a medicine that is a psilocybin based. So if anyone would like to come, like, I'll give you more information. So I said, yes, and a lot of the other people in the Yucca retreat did too. So there was about six of us. And she was very serious. And she said, okay, well, if you're going to do this, this is like a sacred practice, like I'm inviting you to do, but you need to honor it by doing all the requirements that I'm going to tell you now. And so I was thinking, oh, this is not just like eating some mushrooms and sitting, you know, hanging out with somebody that's cool and beats a drum. So anyways, she tells us no alcohol the night before, no heavy foods. You need to wake up and have like tons of electrolytes and you need to eat like a light breakfast, just something to coat your stomach for the medicine. It was never referred to as like, oh, we're going to eat mushroom. You know, after she explained that it was psilocybin based, it was only called the medicine. So show up. I mean, come if you close, do you has like a big wooden platform that can fit like 10 people on it laying on yoga mats. It's completely covered. And then they have like linen ties so you can kind of tie the sides up and feel like you're in this safe little, I don't know, nest, but you're also like a hundred feet away from the ocean. So you can see the beautiful ocean and like tide pools. It's, it's amazing. She sits in the middle and she has all of these things set up like all these sacred herbs and bowls and there's a man there and he is working with her doing drumming. That's what they tell us when we show up. So we all get in like a semi circle around her. So she's in the middle. She has all of her stuff. The guy is in the middle. He's sitting there with this gigantic drum and there's also just tons of cobalt. They ancient sack that in the tree that burning everywhere. So she basically is like, okay, so elders and the holders of knowledge have prayed over this medicine for you. This medicine is extremely sacred to us and our culture here and the Aztecs and the Mayans. It's a very, very special thing. about to do. So you just be open to whatever the medicine has to show you. And the way that you consume it is she, they make it with the cow beans into chocolate. So literally every aspect of this has been touched with care and cultural pride and like a real profound state of being like, this is medicine. This is sharing a part of our culture. So I was like, wow, this is more intense than I just kind of felt like, oh, I've eaten mushrooms before plenty of times. You know, you eat some mushrooms, you're camping with your friends and it might get deep or, you know, stuff might start changing or colors are really bright. I've, you know, I've done that. I've gone deep and but I was like, okay, this seems like this is more intense. The vibe was like, oh my gosh, it went from like, yeah, this will be a fun part of like the yoga retreat. We get to do shrooms with this like really cool lady that knows so much and then you get there and it was like, I immediately snapped into like, oh, this is like a spiritual, very culturally special thing. So the other women that came with me actually, they had their own stuff that they wanted to kind of handle. One of the women had literally the day before gotten a cancer diagnosis and so I was like, oh my gosh, this is going to be really heavy for her. Another one had lost their husband of like 50 years, she was an older woman and she had never done any kind of psychedelic or anything like it, but she was just really open and she's like, had just lost her husband, came on this yoga retreat to connect and have new experiences. So she was just like, I'm going for it. And then there was me and I was like, gosh, I'm here with these people that have like things to solve and like purpose to think about and I don't even know what to like, why am I here? Because the way it went down is she would call you up and say, she would kind of ask you if you had any like restrictions or this or that. And so I told her, I was like, I've had a surgery where they had to remove my gallbladder and part of my stomach. So it's a little weird, but I like, I just digest food really fast because of my stomach smaller, right? And so she says, oh, well, the medicine is probably going to like hit you harder faster and it will pass through you faster. And so I said, okay, I'm I'm fine with that. But she said, when she gave you the medicine, which was two chocolates, if you took the full dose, it was four grams and that's more than an eighth of mushrooms. So I was like, this is already going to be like the most I've ate, I've ate an eighth of mushrooms before. And this is a little over that. And so she gives you two chocolates. The chocolates are little round circular chocolates. They're delicious. There's two grams in each chocolate. So you get two to make four grams. So we all show up, sit down on our mats, which are placed in a semi-circle kind of around her. And you're supposed to kind of they give you masks to put over your face or your eyes rather. So if you want to go like, you know, internal and she's in the middle and everyone kind of meets with her and they she asks how much they should have blah, blah, blah, they hash that out kind of in like a private way. Like everyone goes and sits down with her for a second and kind of whispers and says like, yeah, so I think I should blah, blah, blah. But when she gave me my medicine, I did not know what to pray about. She said, because part of it is you're supposed to pray to the medicine and ask it like for what you want. So everybody had these super like right in your face problems, you know, like I just got diagnosed with cancer. I just lost my husband. I just, you know, and I was like, I feel like a loser. Like, but my life is pretty good. Like, I don't know what to pray for. And she said, that's perfect. Just ask the medicine to show you what you need. Okay, simple enough. So I go back to my map to eat the medicine. It was delicious. So I and I love chocolate. So I ate both of mine like right off the bat. Like just popped them in and chewed them up. And boy, so it was only five minutes and five minutes after I ate the chocolate. I started to look around and I started, quote unquote, "trippen harder than I've ever in my life." So I'm looking around and everything's starting to like really change a little bit. So I start to get totally, totally freaked out because I'm like, dude, this is five minutes in. Like what's gonna happen to me? So I, she had told us beforehand too, which kind of made you a little like apprehensive. She said, you know, the medicine is actually very strong. For some people, they won't be able to move or you might not feel like you can talk. Just raise your hand because me and I don't remember the gentleman's name. That was the drummer, but him and I will, we're monitoring you the whole time and we will know if you're struggling. Like if you need to get to the bathroom. So I'm like, geez, like what's gonna happen? We're just eating, you know, mushrooms, okay? So I'm only five minutes in and things are starting to get very intense. So I call her over. I don't want to freak anyone else out and I know I'm digesting them faster because of my stomach. So I pull her aside and say, can I talk to you, Adriana? That's your name. Please. Like I am so afraid right now. Like this is starting already and it's really, really intense and I'm about to lose like control and she just kind of put her hand on my head and said, like, the medicine, we talked about this. The medicine is going to hit you fast and it's going to be very hard and it's going to move through you fast and that's just part of your journey. And I just was like, oh my god. And I immediately knew what I had to do. So I just went from being afraid to just submitting to whatever was going to happen to me because I knew that if this is five minutes in, it's going to be like very intense. So I immediately went back to my mat. I laid down and I put the cover over my eyes and I just said, okay, like here we go. What happened was more intense than anything I've ever experienced in my life. Like nothing, nothing holds a candle to this. Immediately I was somewhere else. I felt myself kind of just sinking, falling and the only way I can describe what happened to me, which was extremely intense, is I felt like I was in the veil and I've never used that term in my life ever, but it just seemed like the natural way to explain what happened. They start doing her and this other local man that's helping assist in the ceremony start, you know, saging everyone with the sacred copal, praying to the deities that the Aztecs prayed to to the east, the south, the west, the north, the heavens above and the mother earth below and they say really beautiful things and everyone else is standing and getting saged with the copal. But I am on the mat already like, oh my god, this is kicking in. It took everyone else like another half hour or 45 minutes to have their experiences start. So I'm laying there on the mat and I can hear her echoing saying like, weep your thanks to this, that, that. It's very like dreamlike and I'm like, oh my god, like this is insane. I'm seeing all these colors. It's very like intense and then they start beating the drum and you're laying on a platform that is made of wood that's raised off the ground. So the drum kind of just vibrates and beats through you, like it's a part of you and that's a big part of the ceremony and she starts singing all these ancient mantras and songs and playing the harmonian and it just sends me deeper into this veil space where I no longer felt connected to my body at all which I felt when it happened and I was so afraid and I just had to let go and submit to it and that's when I entered this veil like space. I'm deep in it and I see clearly coming before me just in a line, a long line of women and they're all wearing kind of like ancient Mayan masks like the kind that I've grown up seeing that are native to Guatemala and mine culture and I they're all these women and their faces are covered in these masks and they're all in a line and it clicks to me, like these are my ancestors and as soon as it clicks in it's like so much energy came from them and they gave me a very very clear message that each one had come before the other and this is the natural way of the world, right? All of these women give birth to other women, the birth other, right? And that I come from a long line of like strong women who have given love to the next woman so that I could be birthed into this moment and stand firm and that I did not need to have any anxiety about my place in the world, about being a mother, any of it because I had come from such a long line of bloodline of love and strong women and that I was meant to be at this position in the line and it was so powerful and that was just the message that was getting thrilled home to me by these women that I you know had come to lake see like oh my god these are my ancestors these are people i've never seen but i'm so connected to going back like there had to be at least it didn't feel like i could count but you know it was a line of women maybe 20 women so i know that it was it was far back so i was given this knowledge and gifted this wisdom from my ancestors female ancestors alright we'll be right back after this quick break this episode is sponsored by better help if you've thought about 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on reddit true crime doesn't come from journalists it comes from the victims the witnesses and sometimes the suspects themselves every Tuesday on crimes of reddit we read these posts out loud I'm Sabrina Deanna roga and i'm Alexis link letter one of us brings the story the other goes in blind reacting in real time just like you new episodes dropped every Tuesday listen to and follow crimes of reddit available now wherever you get your podcasts avoiding your unfinished home projects because you're not sure where to start thumbtack knows homes so you don't have to don't know the difference between matte paint finish and satin or what that clunking sound from your dryer is with thumbtack you don't have to be a home pro you just have to hire one you can hire top rated pros see price estimates and read reviews all on the app download today afternoon glare totally ruined my watch party for the big game that's when my buddy recommended blinds.com with custom window treatments made to fit your style space and budget customers who shop at blinds.com experience to overwhelming satisfaction side effects may include a fuller deeper night sleep and a sudden urge to host the watch party again blinds.com isn't a medication but it can improve how you feel about your home visit blinds.com to order your free samples today yo yo yo sound familiar oh so you never heard of us that's awkward i'm Taylor i'm Morgan and we are the former college roommates best friends and hosts over at creeps and crimes which is a conspiracy paranormal and true crime podcasts where every Thursday miss Morgan walks us through a creepy case that has captured her attention and then miss Taylor lays out a true crime case in the most ADHD friendly way that she could not get off her mind listen to us today creeps and crimes on apple podcasts Spotify YouTube or wherever you get your podcast that message to me i didn't know i needed but it was so important kind of connecting back to the work i did with kids in mental health i i suffer from extreme anxiety around my kids and it's not even like a helicopter mom thing it's like just wondering like is life gonna be okay i'm i gonna be enough for them and i never really thought that that was something to like ask for help with or anything i just it's just part of me i have big anxiety so when all of my woman ancestors came through and delivered this message it was so powerful it made so much sense and then in this space it was so peculiar but on my right side the entire time which felt like a really long time and a really short time at the same time when you're in this space but i had this feathery entity on the side of me almost in my peripheral vision you know like it's always there like if someone's standing right behind your right shoulder you know you can kind of see it and so it's feathers and i felt like this really divine it was just a very very divine place that i was allowed to enter into and i knew that that feathery entity was my grandmother and it was so comforting because the message that all my ancestors were good into me was delivered and it was very overwhelming like it was a very like powerful message that was just at times like hard to absorb or was talking about like my female lineage all the way back like you know centuries and i can really feel all these women that came before me and it was very very powerful and spiritual and intense but i had this soft feathery entity on my right side and i knew it was my grandma who also is a part of that lineage but when the the message was just so intense i would kind of like divert to the feathery entity and be like oh like soothe me kind of you know and then i would kind of be like okay i'm relaxed like i can absorb this message and the whole time that this is happening i am absolutely not like i have no idea where my body is like my head is like i said in the veil i really truly believe that my ancestors came forward i believe that my grandma was there it was like i was back in that veil space and like i was allowed to be there i accessed it through this divine medicine which she had been talking about like the medicine will will take you the medicine will protect you you know but i just didn't know so i come out of the experience and you know it's still to fix a few hours to be like fully back in your body but once that message was received and i stayed in that space for like i said what felt like a while and also quickly i was able to you know take the mask off be back in this time in space and you know the drumming continued the praying and chanting continued the burning of all the copal over us continued but i was able to like sit up and listen to the music and the mantras and really like connect to what was happening like it was a very very deep spiritual journey and it was for everyone else it also should be noted that when i when i finally like zapped back into my body i was like why am i all i felt wet so i put my hands up underneath the mask and i had been sobbing just sobbing the entire time the outfit i was wearing was covered in tears and like just disgusting and i am the type of person like i wore fake eyelashes i have fake nails they were my eyelashes were cried off i had worn little glitter and like moon buns in my hair like i had no idea what i was in for and when i showed up she even kind of said like awe you're adorable like she knew she was going to rock my world like you know so i had cried off my eyelashes glitter everything i was just a wreck like i looked insane but i felt like i had i knew i had gone somewhere i was clasping my hands so tightly like next to my heart while i was in this other realm i broke all of my nails anyone listening to your podcast that has like acrylic nails or gel nails they know how hard that is to do i must have been grasping so hard because it was so intense so after everybody kind of like you know went through whatever their deep part was everyone could kind of walk around with good people were sitting down at the each or sitting and just listening to her and of course within a few hours we're all back in our bodies and so she's like how is everyone feeling and we are all just fucking rocked like what just happened everyone had their own little thing that happened but i shared my story like right then and there because i was so like excited and freaked out just kind of like the vision with my grandma i was like oh my god something crazy just happened that shouldn't have been able to happen happened i really truly thought i tapped into this failed space so i went and i told her what happened and she said well that makes a lot of sense with the mushroom you a it's a very sacred mushroom it's only grown in this part of the world and only used in ceremonial purposes like it's meant to connect you to ancestors so i was like what and so i said what's the name of this mushroom and it directly translates to flesh of the gods so the use for this specific mushroom i looked it up after i had no idea this going in no idea it is meant to connect with your ancestors or divine forces, it's only only given in sacred settings, not casually. It's very rare and culturally protected. It's a very private, sacred mushroom that's treated with deep, deep respect. Everything I looked up about this mushroom, it says, it's meant to link you to your ancestors and it's known to connect centuries ago, the keepers of knowledge, shamans, spiritual people of the area, whatever you wanna call them, would use this mushroom and ceremony specifically to get answers from their ancestral lineage. So I was like totally freaked out because everything I googled and talking to her after, it just like reaffirmed that like, whatever happened to me, I truly believe I went to a space that was divine, that was not of this world. And I was just able to access that space like I did in my vision through the work of this mushroom. So I kind of explained that to her and she was like unfazed. She was like absolutely. She's like, you were in a divine space. This is like a very sacred divine mushroom. She kind of just nodded and said like, yeah, like you got to that place. Like that's what this medicine is for. If you treat it correctly, like it will take you somewhere divine. And so she kind of like reinforced that I was like, yeah, not crazy for being like, no, I think I was somewhere else, you know? She's like, yeah, that's kind of the point. And so she said it's the cultural belief around this mushroom is that the God of the West gave a piece of divinity to the people to directly connect them with the gods when they needed to. And the way that this particular God of the West in Aztec belief shows up is a plumed snake, which means a snake with feathers. And so when I ask her about the mushroom, she goes on to say like, yeah, so the God that's believed to have given it, sometimes if you get to the divine realm, he will guide you to your ancestors. And he shows up as like feathers, like a long line of feathers. He's a snake. So I didn't know that any of this going in. And so I'm like, oh my God, I was connected to my ancestors. There was a feathery entity on the side of me that felt like my grandmother. And she said, yes, that's what he's known for is he, if you get to the divine space, he will bring forth your ancestors and people that you love. So she was not even blinking or thinking twice when she was saying this to me. She was just like, oh, good. Somebody got to that space. This is what it's culturally for. But I was totally freaking out because I'm like, there's feathers, there's ancestors and answers to things I didn't know I needed the answer to. And that's exactly what this medicine or specific rare mushroom is used for. Like I'm so glad I did not know that beforehand because it would be so confusing. I would be thinking, oh, my mind just kind of made up this scenario because I knew that this is, you know, what it's supposed to do. But I knew none of this. I ate the mushrooms kind of thinking like, oh, I will just see what happens. And everything that this mushroom is like divinely supposed to do happened to me. So it really was reaffirming, but again, kind of like scary, like what the fuck? I was completely changed. I mean, it really, really got into my mind, body, heart. It felt like my whole spirit and essence of me was tapped into something else. And again, I'm like, I have eyelashes off my face. My nails are completely broken from just having such a powerful experience. Like my whole body was exhausted, but I was so amazed and I could not believe that I was connected again to that space. And so I left feeling really, really like, oh my God, there's like a whole other part of existing, like consciousness. So I was really, really, really charged. I came home and my, you know, horse, I told my husband everything. And I'm like, I need a zen garden. I need to meditate. I need to get to the space. Like you really can connect. My dream was like, when I had that dream about my grandma, it was the same kind of space. Like my husband is the best. And he just was like, okay. And so like we literally made like a little zen garden. It was beautiful. And I was like doing meditation and just trying to like stay connected to that energy and space that I was in because it really, really affected me. So I went to my local bookstore and I was kind of looking around and like the little woo-woo section that I had always kind of thought, like, okay. I'm like, it's like connected, like a book that a medium wrote or this or that. But now I was like so much more open. So I found this book called Signs. It was written by somebody who claims to be a medium. She does a lot of work and a lot of people really highly regarded it's like Signs. I forget the exact title. But it's like your soul's connection to the universe and how to pick up the signs or whatever. So I was flipping through it not too seriously, but she basically was saying like your loved ones are like the consciousness does go on and you can connect with it. You just have to ask like they constantly want to be sending you signs, but people just aren't open. People just don't like are not open to receiving the message or we're so westernized that we're like, that's just woo-woo, like, you know? So you're never getting any kind of like affirmation or seeing that your loved ones have passed on or even your ancestors are just a veil space away. I don't know how to explain it. So I read part of her little flip through the first couple chapters and it says, you know, if you want a sign, the best way to get one, it's just to tell your loved one, I'm ready, I'm open for a sign like show me that you're still with whatever, whatever message you wanna say. So that night I decided I was gonna really ask. So I said it like out loud, I said it in my head, I said it like I screamed out and was like, Ramma, if you're here and you're, you know, just another consciousness away or whatever, send me a sign. I wanna sign so big that I cannot ignore it. Like I want something crazy, you know? So I really asked a lot and I really did not think I would get it, but I was really, really open too. Like my heart was open from that ceremony. Like I know that there's something beyond here, right? Like so I'm screaming out to it saying, give me a sign, give me a sign. So I went to bed that night and I was like, I bet I'll have like a vision kind of dream or, you know, whatever. And so I got a bed, wake up the next morning, I had just had like stupid random dreams all night, nothing to do with like any kind of higher consciousness. And I'm like, okay, I'm feeling like a little silly, like lame, whatever, let's get on with the day, right? So I must stay at home mom at the time, my three year old was an in-school preschool or anything, he was just hanging out with me. So we were gonna go buy some like trees at this tree nursery. So I put him in the car, we're driving there. He's jipper jabbering and we're on like beautiful scenic, like wine country roads, you know, driving there. I live up in the mountains, so it's like a gorgeous drive and he's was chattering, no, no, put this on on. I went up to snark, blah, blah. Then we're driving and the song comes on the radio. I do not remember what song, but all of a sudden my three year old kind of like, I don't know, I'd explain it. Like the energy in the car just kind of slowed down a little bit and he said, "This song reminds me of grandma." And I said, "What?" Because I had never spoken to my three year old about her ever, he came after she had passed. So there's no, you know, unfortunately, she never got to meet him, there's no pictures with, you know, I don't think I'd ever mentioned her once before to him. So he just said that out of the blue. And I said, "What?" Like I was thinking in my head like, you've just made up, like he's jabbering about something and you just heard him wrong. So I turned the radio down. And I'm like, "What did you say?" And he said, and set up saying what he said before, he just goes on. He says, "Grandma Grandma wants me to tell you that she was the one that made you the secret breakfast." When I say I almost crashed my car, I mean, I get like kind of emotional talking about it 'cause it was so insane. So I literally pulled over at a turnout on this like, you know, wild mountain road, winding road. And I said, "What?" And he said, "She's the one that made you the secret chocolate pancakes that you weren't supposed to talk about." And then he said, like, "I wish I could have those kind of pancakes that Grandma Grandma told me she makes for you." He's talking like very clearly. And this is a three-year-old. Anybody who knows a three-year-old or is around them often knows that it's not like you usually have this like steady stream of like talking. It's like always chaotic and at least with my kids, they're like me, just like all over the place. But this was not like that. It was very clear. Like he said, the energy felt like calmed down. Like he was delivering this message and I could totally feel it. And I was freaking out. So I said, "What did you say?" And he said it again. Like Grandma Grandma wants me to tell you about the secret chocolate breakfast that only you guys know about. And I, you know, after he said it twice and kind of was in that, like, I don't know, quiet state that he, it almost was like a trans state that he was in, I would say. I absolutely lost my mind. I threw my car in park, turned it off, jumped out and screamed. Like, literally, I fell to my knees because I was so overwhelmed that this happened. After I calmed down, I didn't want him to see like how wild I was blown away. I came back in the car and he was, he was done. He was out of it. He wasn't there anymore. I said, what were you to, like, what did you say? And he just goes on, he's like, oh, yeah, but like, can we change them? Can you put on a podcast about like the kids pot, you know, going back to his like normal toddler self talking, not talking about that at all anymore. And I asked him after said, how did you, why did you say that? How did you know to say that? And he said, I don't know. I just knew or I just know I couldn't get anything else more out of him. That was it. And he really kind of like didn't really care like he didn't really want to talk about it. It was like, I just like knew to say I knew that. I knew that. And then he just moved on. But there's absolutely no way at all that he knew this because almost nobody knows this. It's just a thing for me in my grandma, which he said, when I spent the night at my grandma's house when I was a child, our thing together, which happened often was she would make me pancakes every morning after I'd sleep over. And instead of using maple syrup, like you would anywhere else, she wanted to be special. So she would let me use Hershey's chocolate syrup. And I would drown my pancakes in that. And she would always jokingly say to me, like, don't tell your mom. It's like our little secret, you know, it's like a thing with me in my grandma. It was something I cherish in my memories, but like I never have talked about that, like who to tell somebody that, you know, so that's not something I like told people or there's absolutely no way my three year old would know that. So and this happened. I'm telling you I went to bed at 11 p.m. or something that I before saying, like, give me a fucking sign, the biggest sign. And this was like 10 30 the next morning. So we're talking about a 12 hour turnaround here, like I knew it was her coming through him. And as crazy as it sounds, there is nothing that will make me not believe that because it was so clear, so like meant for me it was so an answer to that demand really I demanded like show yourself like I need to know I'm not going crazy from these things happening, you know, and she did through my son. The way I think about all of these things and how it's kind of changed me is that like I know that there's something that we as humans most of us can't can't tap into yet. But I feel I have been able to tap into that veil space, the space that comes after or maybe that's, you know, happening all the time around us. Like when I asked my grandma for a sign, I didn't I had no idea what I was asking for. Like I thought maybe I would have a vision again like a dream vision, but I didn't know what what sign would be big enough that I'd be like, oh yeah, it's definitely my grandma. And she figured it out because I would never even think to say that there's that was a concrete way of being like this is something that only mean you know about no one else is going to remember this. It was our little sacred like sweet thing, you know, so the fact that my son said that was like so startling it was the confirmation that I needed that there is life beyond what we can see. It really has changed me and just trying to be more open to hearing people's experiences that are you know similar and it absolutely 100% has made me not afraid of death. There's nothing that could change how I feel about consciousness transcending death after this these experiences. So it's given me a lot of comfort and also a lot of like curiosity like I'm open to trying to get back into that space, but I'm just not you know both times that I did it wasn't like I tried to you know. It's actually pretty funny because yeah, we absolutely of course honored her and the next day I made him pancakes and we had chocolates or a Hershey's chocolate shirt syrup. I made sure to go out and buy it. We usually don't have that kind of stuff in the house, but it was like actually like so fun and so deep to go buy some and feel like we're going to eat this and so we didn't matter. There's an item too and yeah, it just made me super duper happy you know in addition to being like in awe and wonder of what could possibly be on the other side waiting for us or right in front of our face. I was also just very happy eating the pancakes and like going back to like having a really special memory from my childhood and sharing it with my children felt like I was definitely paying homage to her and like appreciating that she came through. Because she came through loud and clear that it was her saying once again, I'm okay. I'm here like I have this knowledge and so she's sharing that special pancake breakfast that I haven't had since I was a little girl with my sons. It definitely felt like you know she made that happen and so I felt I feel her presence all the time. I know that she is still there and yeah it was extremely like life changing all of it for me. Okay, thank you so much to Andrea for speaking to me and sharing this incredible story. I really love this one for so many reasons but I'd say the main reason was how unexpected this was for me in so many ways. But a big reason is that this was so unexpected for me and I'm sure it certainly was for Andrea as well who by the way has returned to that town in rural Mexico since we recorded this episode and has done the mushrooms again. As far as I know she didn't experience anything as extreme as what we just heard if she did she at least hasn't told me about it. Thank you once again to Andrea for sharing this story. This episode was called "Flesh of the Gods" and you've been listening to "The Other World". "The Other World" is executive produced and hosted by myself Jack Wagner. Our producers are Theoshafer, Theocrants, Haley Persin and Nikki Kate Delgado. Our theme song is by Cobra Man. The soundtrack of this episode is by North Americans and Juice Jackal. Our artwork is by Coltisac Studios. Please show us your support by subscribing, leaving a five-star review and telling your friends about the show. If you want to hear bonus episodes of "The Other World", you can become a patron at patreon.com/otherworld. Our social media is @otherworldpod. Thank you to the team at Odyssey, Leah Restennis, Laura Curran, Josephina Frances, Eric Donnelly, Kate Rose, Colin Gainer and Hillary Schuff. Follow and listen to "The Other World" now for free on the Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. And finally, if you or somebody you know has experienced something paranormal, supernatural or unexplained, you can send us your stories at [email protected]. This is Jill Slesinger from Money Moves. You started a business to follow your passion not to get buried in financial details. Zero makes managing your numbers simple by bringing accounting, payments, payroll and analytics together in one place. Instead of trying to sound smart, zero is designed to make you feel smart, with easy to read dashboards and smart insights that give you better control over your money. 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