Episode 132: Remember Why You Started

[MUSIC] Welcome to the Voicin Sport Podcast. Today we are joined by Ashley Lawrence, a Canadian women's national team defender and professional footballer who is built to career competing at the highest levels of the game across Europe and international football. In this episode Ashley takes us inside one of the biggest transitions of her career, leaving college early to play professionally in Europe. I always knew that I wanted to play professionally in Europe and so when I got that opportunity in my senior year, I just didn't hesitate because it was an opportunity and I said, I'm not gonna let that go. What followed was a reality shift, moving to a new country, navigating a new language, and stepping straight into an elite professional environment. There were definitely moments where I questioned why am I still doing this? Like I don't feel the same passion and I had to sit in those emotions and understand that it's okay to feel that way. Ashley opens up about what it really takes to manage life beyond the field and the moments where the pressure, the sacrifices, and the distance from home made her question continuing her career. We explore how working with a sports psychologist, building consistent routines around nutrition, sleep, and recovery, and practicing gratitude became non-negotiables in sustaining her longevity in sport and at the center of it all, remembering why she started. I just think back to myself as the little girl when I was just playing and there wasn't a care in the world. When I step onto the field, I feel happy. Like I feel like that little girl. It is like a therapy for me. Just take a moment and just think back and you be amazed at how powerful that can be. Before we get started, if you love this podcast, please leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. And don't forget to sign up at voicensport.com or download the Voicensport app for mentorship, women's specific content, and access to the top experts in sports psychology, nutrition, and women's health. Ashley, welcome to the Voicensport podcast. Thank you for having me. Well, today's conversation is super critical because you have this incredible long career in the sport of soccer, not very many athletes say this long in sport at an elite level like you have. So we want to break down that journey and understand how you had consistency and longevity through sport and stuck with it all these years. So all of the young girls at Voicensport can learn from you. Yeah, firstly, thank you for having me. I am very excited to be on the podcast. Just, you know, everything that Voicensport is doing for women's sport is amazing. I'm just happy to stare a little bit about myself, my career, my journey, everything. And I hope that everyone listening can get something from it and just really happy to share. Okay, well, let's start with like your early years. You know, I know your Canadian, a solo Canadian like me. Did you know that? I didn't know that. What part are you from? My dad is from BAMP. So he grew up as a ski racer as part of like the crazy connox and he was on the ski and the natural team. It went to that. That's so cool. Yeah, I went to the Olympics and so did my uncle and so did my aunt. So they're all like crazy connox skiers. Wow. That is really cool. I definitely grew up skiing. So that's really cool to hear. Being from Toronto, always having the snow less and less these last years, I would say, but yeah, just nothing like going down the slopes and, you know, just spending time with family, getting that and a warm hot chocolate. And that's a best part. Just being exhausted, right? Exactly. Okay, we'll take us back to early years, growing up in Canada. Like, what sports did you play? And at what point were you like all in? So I started playing soccer at a very young age, five years old. I also did a little bit of track and field in school. But yeah, once I started playing, I fell in love with the sport from the beginning and I just stuck with it consistently. And I just knew that I wanted to do this for the rest of my life. I didn't really think or, you know, have a plan, but I said, I love the feeling when I'm playing. So why can I do this forever? Why can I do this as a career? And at a very young age, there wasn't a lot of examples or exposure to women really excelling, especially in soccer, but I still had this like very strong feeling that I wanted to play. I really watched a lot of games on TV. It was the premier league. It was games predominantly in Europe. And so that was kind of a guiding light for me that I wanted to play in Europe one day. I didn't know where, but I said, yeah, I want to play in Europe. I want to play in the Champions League and the biggest competitions. And that was a little bit of my driving force, even though there wasn't an actual pathway. So I don't know. It was just such a strong feeling. And the very first, I would say, real exposure to women competing at a high level in soccer was the Olympic Games in 2012 in London. And I was at home. I was supporting Canada watching every game and just witnessing greatness as a Canadian. Seeing players fight, compete, leave it all out there for their country. And it was definitely something that I wanted to be a part of. And then of course, witnessing them when the first ever Olympic medal for Canada as a women's soccer team that was honestly surreal. So I would say a lot of my childhood upbringing was revolved around soccer. I trained often, competitions, the long drives with my parents and just loving every minute of it, playing three or four games in one day and just being with some of my today, some of my closest friends. So it really did become part of my routine. And I would say I learned a lot, even at a young age, a lot of valuable life skills, teamwork, discipline, even just dealing with challenges and hardships and having to deal with those emotions. So yeah, it was a lot, a lot of emotions, a lot of highs and lows. But I would say that is definitely the beauty of sport, which is definitely a vehicle for social change. And I would just say that yeah, soccer was a big, big part of my childhood. And fast forward to the day when I'm looking back. It is pretty surreal and I'm very, very grateful. But yeah, I think back to those first days and it was always a dream of mine to play for the national team to play in Europe, to play at the high level. And I was very, very grateful to have been able to achieve both of those things. Amazing. Well, we're going to break down all those moments. And including the moments where maybe you thought about me quitting or you had tough times, because we know the journey isn't always like this linear pass. Although you might think that maybe when you're younger, it doesn't always progress that way, right? So I want to kind of go all the way back to when you've made your first national team at age 17, which was before university. Can you briefly walk us through your journey to making that first team and what that meant for you? Getting the first call up to the senior team, it was a huge objective for myself. When I think back to watching the national team compete at the highest level, it was in 2012. And so at that point, I would have been 16. So still a very young age and a lot of the players that I was looking up to, those are the players that I said, you know, one day hopefully I want to be in their shoes, I want to play with them. I want to do what they're doing, inspiring me. You know, I hope to play for the national team and to represent Canada and to play at the highest level. So getting the first call was an amazing moment for myself and amazing achievement. And it was only one year later. At that point, I had been training and playing with the youth program. So with the youth teams of Canada. So I had already been playing with the under 15s, the under 17s. I went to a World Cup, two World Cups at under 17s. And I went to an under 20 World Cup as well. So I had already been through that the player pathway of the youth programs of Canada. And typically as a player, you want to make that leap to the first team. And so I remember like it was yesterday, but getting the call from the coach at the time, it was a camp in China. And it was myself and a few other players that were around the same age. We were maybe four or five players and we got the call in to the senior team. And so firstly, getting the call up, secondly, if being in China, there was just, there was a lot going on, but I was just so happy. And stepping into the environment with the players that I was watching and supporting and being star struck, those are the players that I was now in the same room, cheering a meal, training, speaking with. And so it all happened really fast. But I was just soaking in every moment because I honestly couldn't believe it. But as I said before, it was a true goal of mine to make it to the senior team. And I was so happy to have been able to get that first call up. Well, you've been on the senior team now for quite a while. So if you have to look back now at the experience, what do you think separates the women, regardless of their age, that make the team and the ones that don't? How would you describe really the ones that make it? What separates them? I think that it definitely depends a lot on the environment and what I mean is the manager, the staff, the culture, having been on the team for such a long time. I've had many different coaches, but I do believe that the mentality and the DNA that we like to call it remains the same. We always talk about, of course, being a good player, but it's even more important to be a good human. And I think that's what's been our driving force in the national team. Also, why we've been so successful. You know, sometimes if you look on paper comparing it to other countries to other teams, player per player, we have the talent, the talent is there, but what happens when sometimes talent isn't always enough when you're competing against the world. There are players that they've already started playing professionally at such young ages, 1415. In Canada, we just started to have our first professional league this year. So I would say in a lot of ways we're a little bit behind when it comes to maybe investment resources, but if you look at our results, it doesn't reflect that. And that does speak again a lot to our mindset, our mentality, which is the resilience, just the Canadian grit, leaving it literally out on the field. There are a lot of games that I look back when I first started on the team, the players, the veteran players, those are the examples. They set the tone. And as a player, you understand that fairly quickly, that kind of speaks to your question. You kind of have to understand that. And if you don't, then I just feel like then it maybe isn't the place for you. And so yeah, I would just say the biggest thing that's really propelled us forward and has kept us is our mentality, our fight, our drive, and just never giving up. And that's definitely something that's special, that's our X factor. And over the years, things change like change is inevitable. Players retire, there are new players coming in, there's a new staff and new coach, but that's something that has remained consistent. And I'm very proud of that. Having been on the team for so long and just proud that as a Canadian, we have been able to sustain the level that we're at being a top 10 nation since I've been on the team, even before I was on the team. So yeah, that just speaks volumes to who we are as people in our mentality. Let's unpack that mentality a little bit through your journey. Let's go back to your collegiate years where you played college soccer at West Virginia University from 2013 to 2016. You were co-captain there. You won numerous accolades. What did you learn from that time in college that has continued to stay with you as an athlete? And we'd reflect back on those years again at college and maybe give any advice to other young women that are kind of in that stage of their career. So when I'm thinking back to college, it was a very important decision for myself. I was exploring a lot of schools comparing before ultimately committing to West Virginia. And I always, before making a decision, I, of course, the team, the performance, the coach, but I always look at the culture of the team and I think that's so important, that's so special. And when I did West Virginia, that was something that hit me right off the bat. It was the coach, just a very family oriented environment. And I felt that it was somewhere where I could really thrive as a player. But I would say the biggest learning that I had was just the competitiveness, just the willingness to win, doing whatever it takes to win. And that's something that has duffed with me up until today. You know, I think back to those moments and they were hard pre-season, just the physical demands, the fitness testing that we did was so, so hard. But doing that together as a group and as a team, there's nothing that's like that. Pushing the player next to you when she's down, needing help when I'm down. And it just is that balance when we talk about the teamwork and doing whatever it takes to win. It takes everyone. It takes a village. And I was Virginia, that was something that was so special. I remember there was another important factor for me was going to a school where they have a solid program, a solid foundation, but they haven't necessarily won the NCAA tournament. They haven't won in the past, but you could see that they've really put in the work. They have all the intentions and you know, it is a special program. So I wanted to come, I wanted to make an impact. I wanted to make a true difference for the team, but also for West Virginia. And I'm very, very proud to have been a part of my senior year. We went to the NCAA final. For the first time, we lost in the final, but it was our longest run. We were definitely the underdogs. We beat some of the top teams, some of the top programs in the country. And it was just incredible to have lived that journey because it really did teach us a lot about ourselves. It taught me a lot about myself and just a lot about, you know, what it takes and that you can't count anyone out. And so I just want to give a huge credit to the coach. Nikki is a brown who is still there after 20 plus years going strong and just everything that she hasn't stilled in me. As I talk about just that and winning mentality, that is something that you need to commute at the highest level. It is a key factor. And I learned quickly when I attended West Virginia, winning mentality, but also just being together, you can't do it alone, especially in soccer. Yeah, it's one of the things that this we have just built into our new app is a digital journal for the girls. And one of the prompts is like reflection. So you can click in there each day and like reflect on something that happened to you that day. And a big part of why we love bringing on incredible women like you is to just have you pause for a minute and reflect on those specific times in your lives and what you maybe learn from it, which you just explained, but also what you maybe would have done differently. So if you had to pick one thing that you would have done differently in college, now that you have accomplished that goal and moved on and you're a little older now, what would be that one thing you would change? If there was one thing, if there's one thing that I could change, I don't think there is one thing. Obviously, I would have loved to have won the tournament, making it all the way to the final for the first time in program history. Yeah, it would have been nice to have won it and really solidified that. But all the moments, even the lows have really shaped me into who I am. We like to talk about the lows at Viz, because I feel like everybody talks about the good stuff, and especially with social media and like the young girls that we're trying to help. Oftentimes you can look at the world around you and think everybody's life is perfect. And all you see is the good stuff. So, you know, I guess just before we move on from your college years, like what was the hardest part? What was the lowest part that you faced when you were there that you'd want to share with other young girls so that maybe they, if they're going to face it to, they'll feel less alone. One thing that sticks out to me is the self critique. So, I often think back to when you're younger, you set goals. We all set goals in life. And my goal was to play professionally, and I wanted to go to college, I wanted to get a scholarship. And so, when I was able to kind of take that box, it was like, yes, okay, got the scholarship. I'm so proud, I'm going to go to university, play soccer, and it's like, all right, that's it. But once I got there, it was like, well, this is where all kind of the hard work begins. And so, showing up isn't enough. I did take a lot of hard work, a lot of sacrifice. But what got me through every day was the love and the joy and the passion. So, trying to keep that, trying to harness that, and even on the hard days. So, as I said, like the fitness testing, it was really hard. And there's days where I didn't feel like going to training and, okay, I'm training, I have my studies, I have school. It was a lot to juggle. And on top of that, having a social life, it just, it did feel unbearable at times, for sure. But I just think that the one factor is the enjoyment piece, which sometimes it's like, all it's easier said than done. But I think just understanding that you're not always going to feel 100%, you're not always going to feel like you want to train and like you want to give your all. And that's okay, because you're also human. And I'm speaking from experience, having played in college, having played professionally, that's okay. And today, with social media, we do often only see the good parts, because that's what people share. But that isn't all of their life. It's a part of it. And so it's really important to understand and realize that people will share what they want to. And again, social media is often the best part. So I'm saying that I have those moments in college. I didn't always feel like giving 100% or I was tired and I had school. You know, there's also your personal life. There's things that you're going through that we don't always see. So just know that you're not alone. And other people are going through things as well. So you're not alone. And I would just also add one piece of advice is surrounding yourself with people that lift you up, that support you and that understand you. We can only be one person as well. It doesn't have to be an army of people. But just try to surround yourself with those people. It could be a coach, it can be a parent, it can be a teacher, it can be a teammate. But when you do find that person, it's important because that person is gold, right? Because playing is playing. It's a sport. Yes, it's important. And it can seem like it's the center of your universe. It's the number one thing. But ultimately it's your wellness, your mental health, your wellbeing. That is what should come first is you. So don't forget that as well. Well, you went on to after college to a really long professional career. So your next part of your journey is quite remarkable. And you didn't end up over in Europe, kind of following your dream and signed a deal to your deal right out of college with PSG in Paris in 2017 and represented in the club for six years. During that time, you had some pretty amazing moments too. You reached the UEFA Champions League final in your first season. I'm sorry, you lost in penalties. That's that's always sucks. Yes, you know, it's sport, bit habits. Whether you were there with them for six years and then it went on to Chelsea, signed a three year deal with Chelsea. And now you're with the Lioness. So you've had this like incredible experience in Europe playing for these professional teams. What is it about what you've learned in sort of your early career with the national team and then through college around mentality and mindset that has really helped you be successful as an athlete playing at this high professional level? So to give just a little bit of context. So when I was in college, I always knew that I wanted to play professionally in Europe. And so I didn't necessarily have like a specific country or where, but I just wanted to play in Europe and the competitions in Champions League. So I wanted to play for a big club. And so when I got that opportunity, it was in my senior year, there was still one semester left. So I ended up leaving to go to Paris. And I finished my schooling online and I just didn't hesitate because it was an opportunity. And I said, I'm not going to let that go. So that was kind of a lot to juggle with at first. And it was that similar feeling as what I said when I first went to college, it was like, okay, I want to play professionally. I want to play in Europe. And it was like, okay, box ticked. And now making the move, the very long flight, you know, moving my stuff. My mom initially came with me to make that first move. It was just like, wow, it was like Lola Land. Like, oh my gosh, like Disney. This is amazing. I'm going to go to Paris. And once I got there, still the same feeling, but we do quickly learn that, yeah, this is a professional environment, right? So when you get there, there really isn't an icebreaker. You find a ride, you find your apartment. And yeah, there's training the next day. So you start to train. You don't speak the language. There's just staff that only speak French players that are, like predominantly French, but there are other international's. But you quickly realize that, oh, wow, everyone's here to fight for their spot. It is a business. So it's my passion. I still have that feeling. I still have that drive and that spark. But you quickly learn that we're here to win. We have goals. We're very ambitious. We're a very ambitious club. Yes, we're very happy to have signed you yet, but we got to get to work. You quickly learn like, okay, all right. This is what it's about. And as I said, I remembered, distinctly in trainings, there was drills. I went to the back of the line because I didn't understand what was being said. So I would watch other players kind of understand, oh, okay, that's what the drill is. And there wasn't really any wiggle room to welcome new players. It was kind of like you got to learn and you got to get on board. You know, just little things like eating the food is different. Driving the roads were so narrow. It was like, is this really for two cars? I couldn't believe it. It was just like little things like that. I remember driving and I had to go to an appointment and it was early on and it took me through the Arctitrianth and it's the biggest roundabout and it took me through there and I was like, there's no way. And I got there and there was no way out. Like I had to go in and for anyone that knows because there's no traffic lights. I don't even know what roundabouts are because in North America, we don't have those. So it was just like, it was scary. But again, it really put me right into the context of, yeah, this is what it's like. You have to manage all of these things beyond the field. And for me, I'm here. I want to compete. I want to play. But there's all these other elements that we don't even think about. We just think that, all right, I'm here. I'm going to play. But there's so much that needs to be managed. And I just wanted to point that out because again, we see often players, we see the picture with the jury and yeah, I'm got signing for ex it on a years. But it's like, it's amazing. But it's like, that's the first step. And you know, the real work starts now. And so looking back to that, it was really hard. I remember at the beginning, I, you know, there's moments I was crying. I was talking to my family. I'm like, I want to come home and then there's other days where I'm like, I love it here. I'm so happy. I'm being pushed on the field. I feel like this is exactly where I need to be if I want to develop as a player. Having come from college in America, I talked about the skills that I learned was the physicality, the mindset, and those things I took with me coming to France and Europe. It was very different. I was like, Oh, wow, let the speed of play, my first touch, my technical ability, my vision. Those are things that I locked. And I was quickly exposed. So in the trainings, I had to learn and it really did help me so much as a player. And it reflected in my games with the national team. And so I'm just really happy because it was the balance of both of those things that really made me into the player that I was like more of a complete player. And even today, I feel like you're never too old to learn and to progress and to get better. But yeah, it was definitely a bit of a shock at the beginning. But I was quickly able to, you know, solidified my spot, but it did take a lot of work. When you think back on that moment of transition into a European league, what advice do you have for other young soccer players that might be coming over for the first time? If you had to give them one piece of advice, what would it be? I would say firstly, if you are thinking of making the move to Europe or anywhere in South America, Asia, like there's leagues all over the world now and all of those can seem daunting and scary. But I would say make the leap. That's first and foremost. So you're never going to be 100% prepared or ready. But I just know that making that step will help you as a player and as a person, no matter what, it may be hard. It's going to be hard. You're going to have good moments. Don't hesitate if you're thinking, oh, should I go? Should I not just make that step? And you're going to get help. Like I know when I was talking about my experience, it was hard, but I did have support from the club. I had support from the staff from my teammates. So that did make it easier. But just count on yourself because you know, there's a reason if a club reaches out to you, they are interested. There is a reason that they want you there. So you have something to offer, go, and on the other side, you can only grow as a person and as a player. You talk about the power of consistent routines and you have been doing this for some time now as a professional athlete and on the national team in Canada. What are some of your non-negotiables for physical and mental well-being that you practice every single week? So that's definitely developed over the years. Now I would say for sure, nutrition is a key, key factor when we talk about performance, but it's even bigger than that. It's about how you feel your well-being. I learned a lot about gut health and how it's like your second brain. And I can really impact because I'm an athlete, it's like performance and recovery, but it can impact how you feel. It can impact your actual mood. And so it's really cool to have been able to learn through sport, how nutrition can really make a difference on you as a human being. And also if there are areas where I need a little bit of supplementation. So for example, if I'm lacking like iron, understanding what that is and what I need to make sure that I get that up to level, other things is just like my energy. Magnetism is another thing as an athlete that you burn so frequently, even non-athletes. Just naturally we burn magnesium. So especially when you're training every day or training training and on the field, you burn so much magnesium. So that's also something else. And just little things like that where before it wasn't really pregnant my routine and now it's something that I live by and I feel the difference. But again, that's been with trial and error and just understanding how my body works and what I need to feel good. The key thing is listening to your body. Your body will tell you how it feels, what it needs. If you feel tired or fatigued, you know, you didn't really get a good night's sleep, that's something else. Sleep is the number one recovery tool. I've implemented like naps into my routine. So even though I get good night's sleep, I always try to take as many naps as possible because I know that's going to help me recover, but help me feel better. And so that's something that I've developed on game days. We often play quite late here in France. We have later games so that allows me to have a good night's sleep, have a nap and still have time to prepare for the game when I talk about nutrition, just the pregame meals. I always love to have pasta and pancakes. That was something that was developed on the national team. So when I first joined the team, that's what the veteran players were doing. It was like, this is herbituals like pancakes, Canadian maple syrup, of course, got a of the Canadian maple syrup, of course. Right. Is it even pancakes without that? But since then, I have adopted that and it's like I always have to have pancakes and hopefully it's good pancakes as well. So in a nutshell, though, there are a few things. I'm sure there are other things as well. Like right before the game, the little processes of visualizing yourself on the field and seeing yourself just being successful and little things they're making a good pass, a good cross shooting. It's all those things that I've incorporated and I've seen the direct positive effects and then whatever you need to get into sound like music, sometimes actually need to get ramped up. And so I have my playlist, sometimes actually need to calm down a bit. So like I'm too hyped. So you have like two different playlists. Exactly. Exactly. So finding what works for you to get that optimal zone that we like to call it. I love it. I mean, you talked about a lot of stuff and nutty answer and that's actually kind of how we framed up the Viz platform, right? We have mind, body, nutrition and like all of those things are aspects of like what will help you with longevity and sport. The mental side, the nutrition side, the recovery side and sleep. Not that many athletes are digging into the microbiome and gut health and that's like huge, right? So I love that you talked about that. We have some really great resources on the Voicesport platform. We have a podcast about gut health and microbiome but also some articles and videos. So I love that. Definitely check those out. But I think that as you reflect back, you may not have always thought about how you become a successful athlete when you're younger. You might not always see all of those components as important to being successful. So if you have to, if you think about advising younger athletes today on like how you think about what success looks like as an athlete, what is your perspective now and what do you wish you would have known when you were 13 years old about how you approach success and physical and mental health now? I would say to my younger self, just the importance of curiosity. So often when I was younger, it was just about playing and training and performing and games and which is obviously important. That's like the goal. But understanding everything that goes into it, all the aspects and being open, even to other sports and other people in their industries and learning from them. Something that I actually that has helped me a lot in my career is I started watching tennis and kind of analyzing a tennis player, how they kind of manage their careers and they manage their careers almost like entrepreneurs because they are having to pay their videos, they have to pay their team. So they're managing a group on top of having to train, perform and travel. So there's a lot to handle and sometimes I would say with soccer, you're in an environment, you're in a club, you have kind of everything that is there for you, you have all the resources and it is kind of to you to capitalize off those things. But I definitely adopted this mindset of yes, it is a team sport, but I do have my role to play. So what can I do to become the best version of myself? That is also why I was very open to other aspects of what can get me to the best version of myself. So that's why I talked about the nutrition aspect recovery, but also the mental aspect is key. It's like 80, 90% of your performance. And so reaching out to experts that can help me analyze, talk, express myself. It's very important to express how you're feeling and not keep it boiled in. Yeah, and I think that would be a takeaway when I'm thinking about my younger self, like 13 years old, is when I was feeling a certain way, just having that outlet and making sure that I do utilize that because it's it is so important. You know, when we think of things that build up over time, eventually it's going to explode in one way or another. And so if we can develop these habits already at such a young age, I can only imagine the impact that it can have on young people, on young girls. And how powerful you could be as a person, right? If you start practicing some of those things earlier, it's truly why I've built voice and sport is so that you start having those conversations much younger. I wish I would have had the knowledge I have today when I was 13, right? Whether that comes to nutrition or mindset or just how I view my own body, those are all challenges I faced when I was a younger athlete too. And I feel like we're always working progress as humans, but the more we can inform ourselves and be curious and educate ourselves early, we're just going to experience life in a different way. And that's why we're trying to expose so many young girls to sports psychologists and dieticians on the platform and women like you who are leveraging all of those things. That's so incredible that you are in that space now. I know you haven't always been there, and I guess that's kind of my next question. I'm sure there you have talked about moments where you genuinely wanted to stop playing, even though football is your passion and it's something you've always had this dream since you can remember, as you mentioned earlier, but can you maybe share one of those moments where you wanted to stop playing and then what helped you choose to stay? There have been, I would say many moments where I felt it's a lot, it's just a lot on me and sometimes comparing to other people's lives in the sense of well they get to have a weekend, like just a normal weekend. When I say it, it doesn't seem like much, but for 10-pull years now I've been in season and games are on the weekend. So it's either Friday, Saturday or Sunday, but that blocks your weekend. I almost feel like I'm opposite to the rest of the world. People will work, but then have the weekend off, but I'll have maybe a day off and it's in the week. So it is very different and it's been different for a long time. So things like that, being away from family, it's become my new normal, but it's not because it's normal that it isn't hard. Missing a lot of important events, a lot of important dates, birthdays, weddings, just a lot of things that come natural, but just missing them, because everything's not going to remember, it was always because of soccer. And was there ever one specific moment where all of that sort of just piled up to like, you know what, maybe I don't want to do this. And the reason why I'm asking you this is we are trying to prevent young women from dropping out of sport. Yeah, not enough people talk about the really challenging times where they almost dropped out of sport and then what was it that kind of kept them going? And that's why these conversations are so important, right? Because I think we all, you said it earlier, we all go through these ups and downs in our journeys, but how we get ourselves out of those like harder times is really what we're trying to share with these young girls. So was there an actual moment where it like piled up so much where you're like, yeah, I'm good. Yeah, for sure. I feel like there is multiple moments because now it's been a long, like a long time, like I've been playing for a long time. So there was definitely moments where I questioned why am I still doing this? Like I don't feel the same passion. I don't have that same what it's going to take to go to training and give my all. Like I just don't, I don't have it. And yeah, I didn't really know where to turn and I didn't feel like speaking to anyone at the same time. I felt what I felt and I had a decision in my mind like, oh, that's it. My mind is made up and I had to sit in those emotions and understand that it's okay to feel that way. And however long it took, I remember that I had that feeling, but I still had to go to training because I'm under contract. So I need to go to training, but I still have that feeling, but you go to training and you still have to compete. You have to put on this face that you're okay. So I understood that it was not good and not healthy for me because what I was doing wasn't really reflecting. I truly felt. So that's where I made the decision. I need to speak with someone. And it was more than just my family. Like I felt like speaking with my family was one thing, but I just really didn't need to speak to someone and get a perspective and get help just on how I've been thinking and feeling and what does this all mean. And so that helped me so much. And did you end up going to a sports psychologist or a psychologist or both? Did you combine and do a combination of both? I ended up going to a sports psychologist that helped me a lot. And at the time, I didn't understand or realize it and was even like, why am I doing this? But as I was doing the sessions, I felt better and it allowed me to just sit with those feelings and process them and set of allowing those feelings to consume me and control me. I was sitting control and that was very big for me because up to that point, I had remembered that it was just all soccer, soccer, soccer, do everything before that and everything was kind of secondary. But the one thing that can't be secondary is yourself. Is your peace. Is your wellbeing. So that was the decision that I had to make and I do remember after that continuing on, even though I felt better about the situation, I still continued doing that work because it wasn't outlet for me. That worked that helped so much. And it had a positive impact on my performance as well. So it was also a bonus. There definitely has been a stigma around seeing psychologists or sports psychologists and like we are fundamentally trying to shift that narrative at Viz. We're trying to help young women athletes understand that it's a super power if you go in and try to tap into your mental side of your game. And understanding who you are as a person. Also, so seeing a psychologist who can kind of help you with all things and then a sports psychologist who can help you with a lot of maybe anxiety performance anxiety or tools that you might want to use to help you work through certain situations. I think is just so critical and unfortunately, I still feel like there's a stigma around talking about mental health, talking about going to a sports psychologist when really in-shoot it. Like it's a tool that is something that can be so incredible to develop. And so as you think about that now as an athlete who has more experience and you haven't given up on continuing to work with sports psychologists, what has it been that has been like as the most surprising by focusing on your mental side of the game? I think that it's allowed me to access parts of me that I didn't know was possible. And a lot of times I felt like I couldn't do it on my own or I didn't actually believe it. And you know, sometimes it takes someone to kind of just like put a mirror in front of you and just have that reminder. And I definitely had some hard conversations like it wasn't always easy. It's not easy when you do that type of work because you're forced to look inside. I mean, there's nobody to blame about that. How did things haunt yourself? Exactly. And it can be scary for sure. It can be scary. But when I continued to, I was a trust put my trust in that process when I continued to do that. I did see a difference. I saw a difference in myself. I saw a difference in my belief. I saw a difference in in how I view myself and also just yeah, confidence. A lot of times there is a narrative that we tell ourselves and that can stem from so many different things. Can stem from childhood. It can send from an experience a bad experience that we had. And I don't know why, but we can have 10 positive thoughts and you have one negative and it's the one negative that outweighs all the positive. It just, it can be powerful and overshadowing. And so it's very, very important. And it was important for me. And you know, I also want to highlight all athletes, best athletes in the world, they have help. They have psychologists for psychologists. They have to, right? To deal with the intensity of not just their sport, but of life of the demands of life. And we just see an athlete compete for me soccer. There's a game on TV and we see that, but there's so much beneath that. So much that goes into it. And so I was saying, I'm a testament to speaking to a sports psychologist and the positive impact that it's had on me, like just so positive. And I'm an advocate. I want to keep pushing that and I hope that young girls, young people see that and can be inspired and can go towards it and not be afraid. There's a quote of yours about gratitude changing everything. Can you share how shifting to gratitude help you get through periods where you were maybe struggling? Yes. Gratitude is key for me. And I was honestly kind of in that headspace of gratitude ever since I could remember even as a child. I was just very happy every day just seeing the sky going to training. It was the simple things and I was very, very grateful. So that's something that I had and it's been a very instrumental tool for me, especially on days where you know, was not as easy gratitude as something that remains because it can be very simple, you know, just like waking up to see another day. I'm grateful. Being able to go to training, having breakfast, eating, things that we kind of look past because it's so automatic. But the gratitude element really helped me to remain humble, regardless of what I've done in my life in my career. You know, we talk about the highs, but staying grateful because that's something that propels me forward. It's something that I live by. It's a value because often there are people in situations that aren't so fortunate. I mean, shouldn't have to wait until we see those situations are crises before we say, Oh, okay, yeah, I'm grateful. No, it should start with just being grateful for what you have. And yeah, that's something that I can't not have when I see what this world has to offer because it's so beautiful. And we're all just very grateful, you know, to be here. And it really is something that has changed my life and continues to change my life. You've said before that this might sound cliche, but your advice to young athletes about how you have sustained your career has been about remembering why you started. What does that actually mean to you in practice today as you continue to be a professional athlete? That is, I think something that has evolved over time, but remain the same. So when I say that the reason why you started or that feeling or that spark, because I like to call it, I just think back to myself as the little girl when I was just playing and there wasn't a care in the world. So I was playing, I was loving life, I was so happy. And so how am I able to harness those feelings? Even today, after all these years, after experiencing some hardships with soccer, which is the ultimate thing that I dreamt of doing my entire life. Soccer is that it's a beautiful gift, but at the same time, it's art, egg, and egg, and e and but that's like life, like it's beautiful, but it's like, how do I sustain that feeling? But for me, I really genuinely, when I step on to the field, I feel happy. And sometimes I'm tired, I'm going through something personal in my life, which is kind of taking away from training and soccer and that, but I generally feel when I step on to the pitch and all that goes away. Like it is like a therapy for me, and I'm very fortunate to have that, but I just feel like not forgetting, don't forget it. And if you feel like you are, just take a moment and just breathe and just think back and you'd be amazed at how powerful that can be. Well, thank you so much, Ashley, for joining us on The Voice and Sport Podcast. Your story about longevity just proves it's not all about talent, right? It's about how you think about your journey. And it's really, really incredible to hear you talk about some of these things that are very, very personal. So thank you for sharing that with us. Thank you. This episode was produced and edited by Viz Creator Rea Patni. Ashley's story reminds us that longevity in sport isn't just about talent, it's about curiosity, courage, and caring for the whole person behind the athlete. Growth doesn't come from avoiding hard moments, but from learning how to sit with them, ask for help, and keep moving forward. To all the girls listening, whether you're dreaming of playing professionally, navigating a tough transitioning, or questioning your path, remember Ashley's message. Trust yourself, protect your well-being, and never forget why you started. Please click the Share button and send this episode to another athlete who you think might be navigating a transition of their own. And if you enjoyed our conversation, leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. You can follow Ashley on Instagram at Ashley_Lorence10. And if you're interested in joining the Viz community, sign up for free at voicensport.com, or download the voicensport app, where you can connect with over 500 Viz mentors and 150 Viz experts in sports ecology, nutrition, and women's health. Thank you for being part of our Viz community, and we'll see you next week on the voicensport podcast.