Episode 1 | "Therapy on Both Sides of the Couch"

Just because the past didn't turn out like you wanted it to doesn't mean the future can't be better than you ever imagined Zahid Abdul Noor You are now listening to our mental health minute session notes with re and CT Oh, you're saying we're on a whole podcast now, I mean re what else are we gonna do? You know, we've always had the goals of reducing stigma about mental health Providing resources and increasing mental health literacy now We just have to figure out a way to do it a hundred miles apart. Okay, so I guess whenever we do a podcast We're gonna kick it off with like a quote or something informative We'll have a body in which we'll have some point and a counterpoint by re and CT and then to conclude We'll have one minute for your mind a that sounds like a bet to me. Let's go ahead and get into this podcast then Okay, so if you were asked us to record an episode on finding a therapist I don't know about you Sean, but I get a question about referrals and services every day Three I mean you're not joking. I mean look I mean, I think I will be in a place and I'll have somebody text me like I know you're in Virginia but maybe you know somebody in Alaska or maybe do you know somebody in Idaho and Unfortunately, a lot of times I have to say I don't you know, I don't I definitely don't know the whole therapist Network But I think you know when I when I think about what we are You know trying to do in those moments I try to just do my best to kind of help folks think about like well You know, what are you looking for and try to start start there? But it's definitely challenging, you know to try to help folks when we're not in that particular area Absolutely, so I think what's what you're bringing up. That's most important Right is that all clinicians don't know each other. We're not all alike, right? So that's one and two that there has to be perhaps some legwork For individuals in their areas to kind of figure out where they want to be seen who they want to go to and will Definitely bring that back up during the one minute for your mind segment So as a clinician Sean, what are some of the things that you might say are important from our perspective when we're thinking about the types Of clients that we want to see and and how we go about in Engaging in our practice. Yeah, I mean, so I mean I think a number of things come into mind for me So first of all, right? So for example, I am trained primarily as a child and family clinician So what does that mean? Yes, I can work with you as an adult If you're maybe struggling for example with you know depression, but I'm most you know I'm best at kind of working with maybe children who are having a hard time maybe staying focused at school or Maybe there is you know, some issues around kind of you know, them staying engaged in their chores or task at home So like that's really kind of my bread and butter So I say all that to say one thing that I would encourage folks, you know From my pres my perspective is you know, working or finding a clinician who you know, is really Good at what you need help with right and so not you know Not kind of just going to someone anyone expecting that they all have the same skill set We're really trying to find folks who kind of fit what you need for sure So I am also a child psychologist and a family psychologist and I absolutely get questions about a range of Elments every day. And so I think it's also important in the same way that we respect doctors for their specialties for medical Physicians, we should also think about clinicians in that same way One of the other things that I'm really curious about Sean a lot of folks talk to me about wanting a therapist of color or wanting someone who matches their Gender or sex talk to me a bit about what we know about that from the literature or what your thoughts are with that Yeah, absolutely. So it's really interesting, right? And so I think this literature has kind of been up and down I think that what we know, right is that there is some evidence in the literature that supports that ethnic cultural ethnic matching Certainly for clients can help them perhaps, you know persist stay engaged longer return for for more sessions Which is obviously, you know an important part for trying to do the work and kind of Improve one's mental health, right? We also know at the same time that our our field the field that the therapy field Often, you know, particularly in certain areas is not kind of robust enough to have All of maybe the different types of diversity that we are looking for and so it's something that may be kind of nice But not necessary and there are a lot of other kind of they they refer to them or we refer to them as these kind of right Nonspecific skills these kind of soft skills that clinicians might have that can be really helpful For kind of helping Forge a really solid therapeutic relationship, which is really kind of one of the biggest markers or keys to Having a successful time in therapy for sure. And I think on the other side of that Knowing that your therapist has been trained for a number of years So there's a variety of different types of therapists that you might see but for each of us we've had at least eight years of training with respect to how to work with clients and so the Number one thing that I'm gonna want to know is not what you look like or not how you present But what are your own words? How can I help to support what it is that you're saying? So if we look completely different if we don't have the same experience in life It's not that I can't help you with what that you're going through. It's just I think the hallmark of a great Therapist is really eliciting individual experiences Whoo, that was a quick five minutes. All right, so that was really good from a therapist point of view Give us a quick moment and coming up on the other side. We'll talk about this topic a little bit more thinking about the client's point of view Yeah So now we're on the other side and we're really trying to think about what it would be like as a client seeking a therapist Yeah I mean I think really one of the cool things and we've talked about this before is that we've actually as clinicians ourselves as therapists ourselves have both Actually engaged on the other side. We've both been Clients in therapy and so when I think about that I would like to ask you what kind of were some of the ways that you kind of sought out Finding a therapist for yourself for sure. So the first time that I sought out therapy I was really financially limited so I Went specifically to find someone who could see me for five dollars a week and I found that person And this person perhaps didn't have a doctorate or as much training as other person as other folks But was really quite skilled in a lot of the strategies that they use the second time I went through my insurance and we talked through a number of options with a provider in the insurance agency And those are two really common strategies that will even unpack a bit more at the end of our episode. How about you, Shawn? Yeah, yeah, no, that's great. That's great. I think for me, you know in my experience, you know Similarly, I did have insurance so so thankful grateful for that and really yeah, just try to find Someone I used actually a you know a website to try to find someone specifically who did kind of Look like me but also important for me like didn't maybe necessarily know me Kind of in the area that I was in so someone that had a little bit of a distance from some of the folks who I already knew in the Area and so that worked out well. Yeah, and one thing that's really interesting We talked about matching as clinicians on our side and we brought the research in Just from a personal experience when I was seeking therapy It was important for me to find someone of color But again when I had the financial limitations, there was a little less wiggle room with respect to who I could choose So the person who I matched or who ended up being my therapist did not match my race And there was only one instance in our entire two years working together where race came up And I didn't feel that they were appropriate or didn't meet my needs in that way But on the other hand, I had a therapist of color who did not meet my needs and we had a very Tense relationship and I actually ended that therapeutic relationship with that person But really it's a great way of thinking about Therapy as a relationship and in the same way that relationships don't work with individuals who we are dating or have friendships with Clinicians have different strategies all the time. And so as a client I took my Paragative and went elsewhere when it didn't work out for me And I want to make sure that everyone feels empowered enough to do that themselves. Yeah, no, that's that's really great That's really great. Um, and I really appreciate you touching on that point I think another thought for me that was really big was okay I've gone through all these years as we talked about in the first segment of training and yet I'm still in this position to be kind of vulnerable So maybe what was maybe for you something that was surprising being on the other side like being a client What was like the most surprising thing? Oh, that's a toughie. I This one isn't gonna be as applicable to our listeners But like there were times where I would see what the therapist was doing and I would point like oh I see my strategy you think I like, you know, I would I would do some kind of ping-ponging where I'm like, okay I see where you're going. Let me try to direct myself But I think what is most applicable is that I did just let go even though I knew what was coming even though I knew the strategies they were using I was in a space I was vulnerable and I opened up and I said this this is what I'm feeling This is how I'm thinking and that person was able to repeat back to me my thoughts And that's one other quick point. I want to make Sean there's so many people think therapies about advice and you know Someone giving you the next step and there are certain therapies that are a bit more structured than others But being a client myself like just hearing someone repeat back to me. This is what you've been saying the past few weeks This is the pattern that I'm hearing. I'm like me I said that and to know that that's you know going on in my head like that was the most useful And also surprising piece even though I thought coming it was so useful and helpful for me. Yeah, no for sure I mean, I think I share a lot of those same surprises And in terms of just like wow like yeah, I kind of I know what to expect but also like the letting go thing I mean, I think another thing that was really I think surprising for me being on the other side is Sometimes how quickly like a session can go like but sit down unload and then before you know like time is up So that was like a big surprise for me speaking of time Sean We are already at time for this podcast while those 10 minutes flew by okay So now we're at the part of our episode where we're gonna think about one minute for your mind Which is a one-minute practice of the week So For this week our practice is gonna be asking yourself this question How is my mental health right in the same way that we think about par sometimes needing a tune-up? It may be the case that psychologically, you know, maybe you need a tune-up with your mental health So we actually in our link below have a quick self-assessment tool that you can use and then go from there to see if therapy might Be a good option for you. That's a great point Sean So we also talked in the episode about two ways that we found our therapist One is through insurance So giving them a call and taking a look at some of the referrals that they can provide and the second is thinking about Google as An affordable therapy option So go ahead and use one of the links that we're providing as well below for free or low-income clinics around you So our real hope for this week is that you walk away with three potential options for therapy After listening to this podcast and then obviously if you found this episode useful at all, please repost and share it with a friend Remember it only takes one minute for your mind. Well, I'm re and I'm CT and this is our mental health minute session notes , you