EP #94- Victoria Garrick Browne On Finding Happiness Within Yourself and Living Authentically, Host of Real Pod and TED Talk Speaker

(gentle music) Happiness is not a place you arrive to. It is a state that you cultivate. It's not somewhere we're gonna get when we hit a million followers, when we give a TED talk, when we make a million dollars. Like, once you get somewhere like that, it's sure, it's great, but it's fleeting. Welcome back to another episode of Everyday in Dorfins, a mental health podcast that focuses on the importance of finding joy in happiness and daily living. I'm your host, Stella Stuffinopolis, and this week I am thrilled to have the one and only Victoria Garrick Brown on the show. You may know Victoria from her massive following on social media, Instagram, TikTok, her podcast, real pod, her TED talk, or even her nonprofit, the list truly goes on. And I really admire Victoria because I think she does a really spectacular job for showing up as herself online and really being an advocate for mental health and destigmatizing the conversation around mental health awareness and how social media is not really exactly what meets the eye. I had the pleasure to get to chat with Victoria in this episode about her mental health journey and how she got involved in a lot of her advocacy work from starting a nonprofit to giving a TED talk, hosting a podcast, really like everything she does is just so incredible. And in this episode, we also got to chat about her perspective on health and happiness and how that's evolved over time throughout the different experiences she's had in the course of her life. We also talk about the value of authenticity and strategies for staying authentic, curious, and true to yourself amidst the craze and chaos of the digital world that we live in. Last but not least, Victoria shares what brings her a bit of endorphins every day and how she seeks out the things that make her happy in life. Before we dive right in, reminder to like, rate, and review this podcast on whichever listening platform you prefer. And if you like what you hear, feel free to share about it. Message me, connect with me. I wanna hear from you and I hope that this episode really resonates with you guys because Victoria really does have a lot of pieces of wisdom to share and it was truly such an informative conversation. So excited for you all to hear it. (gentle music) - Hi, Victoria. Thank you so much for coming on to Everyday Endorphins. - Hi Stella, I'm so excited. Thank you for having me. - First of all, congratulations on getting married recently. I feel like I was following along this entire journey and your Bachelor at Party looks really fun and everything just looked amazing. So now I guess your Victoria, Garek, Brown. - Yes, I am, I am. Oh my gosh, thank you so much. It is so wild. It feels like yesterday, but then also months ago and then it's so weird to have this day that you look forward to your whole life and then you're suddenly, it's like you're reflecting on it 'cause it's happened, so it's wild, but it was all amazing and I've loved being married, so all good things. - Yeah, I feel like big life events that you like really are, you're leading up to or you just put so much energy and effort towards like there's so much anticipation and then the moment that it happens, I can only imagine how special it must feel. Just so exciting, really, really excited for me to have you on the show as someone who's been following along your content for quite some time now. I feel like even just chatting now, the way that you present yourself on social media is so authentic and it's as if I already kind of know you even though this is our first time actually chatting in real life, so it's just so cool to feel as if the presence that you have on social media really shines through and just like you're every day. - Thanks and that's my hope, you know, is to really make social media and accurate portrayal and representation of my life, me, how I feel, I feel like it is rare to see a lot of people doing that and that's what I think caused me initially to not have a great relationship with social media was not being super authentic online and so once I realized that these two things were related and I had to show up online and in the world, the way that I really was, that's when things changed for me and so now it's just like I've always been that way. It's been many years then I appreciate that. I always take it as the compliment and like I'm doing what I said out to when people tell me that I'm the same online as I am in real life. - Yeah, totally and I think that also ties in really well to the hashtag that you coined real post. This idea of really being authentic, like having an authentic presence and recognizing that there's a lot that maybe, you know, doesn't necessarily meet the eye that the way that we portray ourselves on social media. Can you talk a little bit more about what inspired this trend around real post or really like what was the mission behind that? - Yeah, I was posting a lot of photos in college that were just the status quo, you know, I was editing my body, I was photoshopping things, I was posting bikini photos and photos with friends who weren't really my friends, but to look like I was doing cool things and I was just really going through it mentally. My freshman year and then my sophomore year especially and when I started to finally go therapy and seek help and work on myself, I just had this moment with Instagram where I was thinking this is so pointless and why am I spending three hours at a beach, you know, changing bikinis, making my mom take these photos, you know, then editing them and then posting the perfect one all for what? Like, so people think I'm pretty, so I get likes, like it's stupid and I really had to, it was that exact scenario I just detailed and actually my brother, my older brother Jonathan was the one who said to me, like why are you doing this? And I was like, what are you talking about? And then we had this conversation and he was seriously like, no, like literally why? And I couldn't give a good answer other than 'cause I want likes and comments and then that, well that means I want validation and I want validation because I can't give it to myself unless other people tell me that I'm these things. And so, you know, I kind of have this experience where I was like this is just ridiculous. And so then the next day I posted a no filter photo of my yaya, I know you're Greek, so my yaya, who's my grandma, sitting in her lawn chair at the beach that next day and I just said #realpost and because I was just, that was just my kind of like, not gonna give a fuck like #realpost. It's so straightforward, it wasn't thought out, I had no followers, I wasn't a creator and you know that was really the start of, that was the first post and then I like never looked back. - I love how it started with your yaya. That's like so iconic and you know, I feel like that's also something that a lot of people can relate to like portraying false depictions of their lives on social media and feeling this like pressure to like look their best all the time or to come off as if they're like always having a good time, when in reality that's just looking at our lives through like rose colored lenses, it's not real. I think it also speaks to this concept around how like mental health and mental illness can be really invisible, like the way that you maybe act on the outside or portray yourself doesn't necessarily reflect how you feel on the inside and I recently read an article about when you were like talking to students I think at Boston University and you had mentioned that like pressure was something that really led you to a crisis in your life and that's like really what changed. Maybe your perspective on mental health and wellness I mean it was possibly like the catalyst to your interest in like advocating for mental health. Can you speak a little bit more to like that scenario and really what was the lightning moment for you or like the light bulb switch for you where you were like okay, I actually there's something really to be said in this area. I was a volleyball player at USC and so as a student athlete I think I had a lot of expectations about what it would be going into it and I thought that that would be you know volleyball at this amazing school and this amazing team and like life's going to be amazing and I just quickly realized that it would be completely different in the sense that it took a lot of hard work. It was a lot of pressure to succeed, to play perfectly and just the stakes were really high and then ultimately that was just really hard for me to deal with and I developed anxiety and then that was my whole freshman year was just performance anxiety and then my sophomore year I was now in this depressive episode and then I'd say like towards the middle of my sophomore year is when I realized you know my first two seasons of college volleyball have been brutal. Of course there were highs and there were great moments but the majority was really trying to chug along and keep up with this really intense environment and that was I think my lightning moment of this is not what everyone told me it would be or what people say it is and I know I'm not the only one so there's a massive story here about the mental health of athletes and that's what compelled me to deliver my first or not my first, my only Ted talk But the. first thing I ever did to speak out and share my story. - Yeah, that's incredible. And there is really something to be said about the relationship between mental health specifically as a student athlete. I did not play any sport D1. I also did not go to a D1 school while she was D3, but in high school, I was on a rowing team. And that was the first time I ever did anything really athletic, growing up, I danced and I did yoga. So I always like to stay, I like to move my body and I like to stay active, but I never considered myself really to be an athlete until I did crew. And I remembered like walking into the boat house and I don't know if it was necessarily performance anxiety, but just feeling like so much stress about like the workout we were gonna do and like how it was gonna just put my body under a lot of physical stress. And so I had my own experience in high school with just like the struggles of balancing athletics and being a student and kind of everything that comes with that, but I feel like in college, it's really heightened. Like it's like that feeling of stress on top of just like being thrown into the world or you know before you go into the real world, like just being thrown into a different environment, trying to navigate all of that is just so exhausting. So as you were going through these mental health challenges, how did you start to kind of move past that and find strategies to manage your performance anxiety for example, or like the stress you felt on and off the volleyball court? - Yeah, you know, it took a while for me to figure out how to manage it all and honestly towards the end, it wasn't even like I, you know, resolved everything and I was perfectly fine, but I had figured out how to, I think just navigate the ebbs and flows and like have more patience with myself and I think even now it's still something that I have to remind myself and learn is like, as much as I want to fix a problem and button it up and just never have anxiety again or never be sad again or never feel less than, that's just not real life. And we're gonna go in and out of states where we're comparing ourselves to other people or we're feeling anxious or sad, but that's a part of life and those emotions are the reason why we are able to feel happy and feel confident and feel amazing on the good days. I mean, you lit, like if someone didn't have, it's kind of like a yang-yang. If you don't have the bad and the dark and the ugly, you would not be able to appreciate or even feel the good and the exciting and the great. And so you do need both of those. And so I think when I was feeling anxiety at first, I was like, how do I get rid of this? Like I can't feel this, this is weird. And now I just kind of approach it with, okay, this is a universal emotion of anxiousness that a lot of people experience, and I'm experiencing it now. It doesn't mean I am anxiety. It doesn't mean I am less than this is just an experience and I can have this experience without trying to make it go away, trying to judge it or trying to fight it. And so I think now I just try to take everything as it comes and be curious and compassionate with it at the same time. - Yeah, I really think what you mentioned about ying-in-yang is such an important symbol because in life, you need those not so great moments to really appreciate the great ones. And I think when we think about mental health, it's really important to appreciate kind of the more difficult experiences that we have in life because in the moment, it's hard to actually derive meaning from it and recognize how it might serve you in the future moving forward. So I really love that comparison and analogy you draw between the ying-in-yang symbol. Aside from performance anxiety and navigating mental health issues as an athlete, I know you're also a really big advocate on developing a healthier relationship to food and you're very vocal and honest about your own eating disorder journey and story. Can you talk a little bit more about that and perhaps maybe how your eating disorder could have impacted your performance as a volleyball player? - Certainly, it didn't actually impact my physical performance on the court. I mean, there were maybe some times where I had eaten too much and so then I was feeling like sluggish or not as great, but for the most part, my eating disorder was a binge eating disorder, which was pretty much behind closed doors. And so I hid it and was super ashamed about it and it actually, I think, really played into the anxiety and the depression because I was anxious and feeling insecure and so then when I wasn't fueling my body properly and then I would be nervous about everything and seeking comfort. I would find that comfort in food and then just eat for that comfort and security and then wake up and dislike my body and feel guilty for what I'd eaten and then restrict again. And that was kind of the cycle that I was on. And I think that it was really difficult for me to just enjoy being a college student and an athlete and my sports and the friends that I had and the life that I was living because of what I was dealing with with my mental health. And I think when anything in life is made a secret or you convince yourself no one can know because you're gonna be made fun of or excluded or ostracized, it just feeds itself and then you actually isolate yourself more because you are not connected to the people around you. And so once I finally was honest and open about what I was experiencing, that's when I was able to really make changes and also feel more connected to the life around me. - Yeah, that's a really good point. And what kind of brought you to that point where you decided you wanted to be honest and open about it because I think, especially with eating disorders, it can be really difficult to first of all recognize that you have one and like address the problem and also realize maybe like what's driving it. A close friend of mine in college suffered from an eating disorder and the way that she described it to me was not even like the desire to be thin but really wanting that sense of control. And so when she was able to like recognize what was the motivation behind it or like what was really contributing to it, then it was easier for her to start to heal and move through that experience. But like in your own experience, what led you to kind of realize that you needed to address the problem and that you were ready to? - You know, I think that I got to a place where it was just out of hand, but also when I had a professional tell me that what my patterns exhibited to her was a binge eating disorder, that's when I realized, oh my gosh, this isn't some cutesy like I'm trying to diet and lose weight and then I'm breaking my diet. Like this is, you know, this is severe. And so that was when I realized I have to tell my mom and so then I told my mom and then that's when my mom tried to help me and then my mom was the first person who got me a resource, it was a book called Breaking Free from Emotional Eating by Janine Roth and it was the first time I learned about intuitive eating and listening to your body. And so then that's kind of what set me on track to explore my relationship with food and my body and determine what would be best for me, which is intuitive eating, which is now what I, how I eat. - Yeah, and you talk a lot about that, like on TikTok, on Instagram, I feel like that's a lot of your content being around intuitive eating and trusting your body. Really listening to yourself. Once you graduated school, you've given a TED Talk and you also started your own nonprofit called The Hidden Opponent. Can you talk a little bit more about how you started a hidden opponent and how that evolved into more of like your other pursuits around mental health advocacy? - Yes, I began public speaking after college. So following my TED Talk, I had inquiries to speak at other campuses and to other athletic departments. And upon visiting those schools, I realized that there were hundreds, thousands of athletes who had similar stories, who wanted to share their story, who wanted to just be a part of the community and the change. And that's when I realized, what can I create that is outside of me and it can cast the umbrella and this wide net over all these athletes and kind of group us together. And that was why I founded The Hidden Opponent. I wanted to find a nonprofit because the devil wasn't something I wanted to monetize. I didn't want to create shirts that said, like mental health awareness and then just make money off of it. I wanted to create something that had no purpose other than to benefit the student athlete. And so I founded The Hidden Opponent. And now it's awesome where the community is and we have over 700 campus captains in all 50 states who are student athlete ambassadors currently, on campuses, high school and college, throughout the country and international. It's been amazing to kind of have that live on. And I'm at a place in my life where I am 25. I'm married now and I graduated in 2019, 2021, 23, so it's about to be four years. And I'm just in a different place. And college volleyball and what I went through then, I know. I mean, if I'm even talking about my freshman year when I had all that anxiety and that was my first dark time, that was 2015, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 20, 20. I was just like eight years ago. And it's, it's not only is it hard for me to talk about it. Not because like I can't because I'm, I pride myself on vulnerability and I'm happy to talk about anything, but I just feel so removed from it. You know, it's like trying to talk about who you were in middle school and you're like, well, I can kind of remember, but like I, I don't feel aligned with that. And so I am on to different things and I talk about different things. And of course, mental health is always a part of what I do. But I'm so thankful for the head and opponent now because the new leaders, the new voices who are currently athletes who can have those conversations and keep it going and they have, you know, the, the current passion and experience for it. I'm so grateful that that community can kind of like take that message that was once everything to me and carry it through and not that it's not everything to me now because it is, but I don't have the emotional capacity anymore to like physically live and breathe at every single day. You know, at some point you do want to hang up your cleats and you do want to move forward from sport and you don't want to have to think about it or talk about it or throw yourself back into a mindset that was tough at the time. So I am super grateful for the head and opponent to kind of always be like that. It's almost like an extension of my heart, you know, yeah, totally. And, you know, I think something that, you know, it just came to mind actually when you're talking about how. That was like eight years in the past like sports being so top of mind for you and like really your whole identity in your life. Everyday in Dorfins actually initially originated as an Instagram account when I was a freshman in high school. I was like 2013 and I use it as a way to just blog about doing crew, healthy living, being a student athlete and really like the central theme around the account then was centered around sports and fitness and food and wellness, like looking at wellness from that perspective. And then over time really the mission, like the ethos it shifted away from just rowing because I stopped doing crew in college and I don't row anymore. I still have a love for the sport kind of like you're mentioning the hidden opponent being that extension of what you're doing now. It's now like so exciting to see how these topics around mental health and well being and happiness can permeate into all other aspects of life. And I think you, your messaging around that is is so beautiful and amazing. Through like body confidence through your real posts and through your podcast. Can you talk a little bit more about what inspired you to launch your own show. Yeah, I have a podcast called real pod and similar to real post it's real pod. It's very straightforward and actually that's why it's named real pod is because I wanted to bring to life the real posts. And also invite other people to speak on what's real for them and I'm so thankful I have a podcast and we can talk about this to Stella because you know it is a grind you know and you have to find the guest interview them prepare put it out. People might not listen and then you have to hope that they listen and you have one good episode and then that fuels you and then you know so it's a whole thing and I think I'm entering your four of my podcast. And it is one of my favorite things I get to do because I love just talking and connecting with other humans and like making eye contact and getting real and asking them like how they are. It's something that's not come easy to me, but when I think about how every single week for four years I've released an episode and then I can't even bring myself to do a YouTube video you know there's certain things that I think you gravitate towards or that work well for you and the podcast is definitely that for me and I'm super grateful for all the guests who've come on and. And just to have the opportunity to like have great conversations as part of my job so I've loved real pod and kind of what it's become in the community and growing through it you know I just met with my producer to kind of go over where the show is at and similar to what we were just speaking of with you know you saying this every endorphins was you know this old Instagram account and you've grown it to this. Real pod started very athlete based I mean there were there were more than athletes but it was very like mental health focused it's always anxiety and depression and things like that and then it grew to be more body image we're always talking about him to be eating disorders and now is it a place where. And I think this is the most ideal place you know you can as from a strategic point and a business stand point you can grow a brand is to be at a place where like it's so all encompassing of who you are that I can have episodes about my relationship with max my wedding my best friends and mental health and body image and I can do a podcast now on what it means to feel sexy and I can do something on. I know I'm on interviewing my mom because people want to hear about from my family so you know it's so cool to stick with something and then grow it to a place where you really are able to show up as yourself absolutely I completely agree. I also think it speaks to that point around how like mental health being all encompassing like it doesn't have to just be a conversation on anxiety and depression you know the strength of our relationships really impact how we feel on a day to day basis. And there's so many subtle nuances behind you know how we feel necessarily so it's been really awesome to see how your brand has also evolved over time and like where it may continue to grow earlier you mentioned that you know hosting a podcast it's a grind I totally relate to that and now as you you know you do a lot of speaking engagements you're going to have to help advocate your content creator your podcast host how do you balance like everything that you do and navigate like the stress of just fluctuating between those really intense like positive and negative emotions like you mentioned you have one that's a really good episode that does really well and you're like that fuels you but then the next one like maybe doesn't perform so well and it can feel really discouraging like how do you find that equilibrium when there is just so many things going on and just so many things that you're managing and doing it is super hard sell it I wish I had a like a secret or something. Honestly I'm in a like I don't want to say I'm in a rut right now but I'm in a place right now where I'm I've never compared myself more to other creators than I am like the past two weeks I don't know why or maybe I have in the past but it hasn't gotten me down as much as this is now maybe in the past I'm like it motivated me or it inspired me but right now it's like I cannot find a shred of energy to create content and I can't even scroll it because when I do I just feel bad I'm like all these people are this event or this person's posted so many videos this week and I haven't posted any or like this reminds me of that thing I said I was going to do that I didn't do and it's just like really I'm really being hard on myself and I'm really being myself up and it sucks and so I think what I'm going to do later today is put my thoughts on paper I have this I don't know why but this desire like if I if my videos aren't doing well I'm like my videos need to do better and so I need to kind of journal out okay like I want my videos to do better why you know it's like I'm going to why myself again because I want lots of views why do you want lots of views because lots of views means I'm relevant and I'm popular why do you want to be relevant and popular do you need it and it's like no and it's like what's the most important part about a video that it's impacting someone that you liked creating it you know so it's like I need to put on It's like I need to put on paper to get my thoughts back to what I control and what my intentions really are because it is easy to get swept up in like what you think you need to be doing in the world to be successful versus like what makes you happy and what helps others. And then also I think I need to do some affirmations of like I literally love my everything that I do when I love my life and it's so great why am I being convinced by social media that it's not good enough it is you know abundance mindset so I think I'm going to do some journaling later to try to get on top of this. I feel inspired I love that and it's also interesting to hear you say this because you know if anyone just pulls up your account on their phone you have I think I don't know over like 400,000 followers on Instagram I don't even know the number off the top my head on TikTok how many followers you have like you've been featured or like shouted out by Taylor Swift like posted a TED talk that you've done so many incredible things yet even if you are like super accomplished at such a young age at 25. You're still experiencing like self-doubt or feeling stress or like maybe like not good enough in certain aspects and it makes me wonder to what extent or to what point do we need to achieve something to like have those feelings go away and do they ever go away and if they don't like how can you manage overcoming self-doubt and in post syndrome essentially. This is lighting my soul on fire like everything you just said Stella because this is this is the truth this is the question of life seriously you and you said you said at what point or. What do you have to achieve for that to go away? And the answer, I have the answer. And you probably know the answer. We know the answer. The answer is there's nothing you need to achieve to feel the way that you want to feel. My favorite quote ever from Dr. Vroom Sony, who's the Dean of Religious Life at USC, a mentor of mine, he's been on my show. He says, "Happiness is not a place you arrive to. It is a state that you cultivate." So it's not a place you arrive to. It is a state you cultivate. That's why some of the happiest people in the world have the least of anyone in the world. And they're so happy because they're not trying to find happiness in material things or things outside of themselves. And I go back and forth of this all the time because I think that to myself too. Like, I see young hustlers, I see people who email me, DM me, how do I do this? I wanna do this and I'm like, I bet if when I was in their shoes, and I can think of the girl I think of, if I could have her podcast or her Instagram or her TikTok, oh, then I'd be hyped. I used to think about when I hit a million followers on TikTok, oh my God, that would be everything. Everything. I'm a million, like I'm done, buy, I'm retired. And then I hit a million and I want 1.1, I want 1.2, I want 1.3, this girl has 1.8. My video views aren't high enough. Like, it is disgusting and it is materialistic and it's the society we live in that's always telling you more, more, more, more, and I have a huge achievement addiction and I really need to work on it. That's part of one of my goals for the New Year is to just kind of surrender to the universe and I'm feeling like I'm holding it by its neck, like trying to get everything and I just need to let go and I need to be content and happy with where I'm at and if I don't want to post over Christmas and be with my family, I should do that, you know? So, you know, what is this bringing up for you? I'm curious, how does this make you feel and what's running through your mind? - The minute you said achievement addiction, I like really resonated with that. And for me, it's hard to draw the line because we both went to very prestigious colleges. Like, I growing up, I was always like achievement oriented, I guess. You know, I went to a really great high school. I did a lot of activities growing up. I performed in the metropolitan opera as a kid, like very weird, niche cool things that like, I just, you know, I did when I was younger and then I was, you know, wanted to get good grades in college and knock on what I have, like a really amazing job out of school and that allows me the opportunity to pursue this podcast. And but then with that comes the stress of, okay, how can I continue to grow this and not feeling like I'm ever doing enough and then feeling guilty the minute that, you know, I don't post on TikTok three times a day or I choose to not look at my phone for an afternoon, like that I'm missing out on something or I could be using my time to do something else and actually this, like, I think it was the summer, honestly, I hit kind of a plateau where I realized that I wasn't making time for any of my friends because I was using the weekends to just like go to a coffee shop and work, which like was great because I was able to be productive with the show and like have some heads down time and kind of get some things moving, but like it was also coming at the cost of just keeping up my relationships and just having like a chill Saturday afternoon, like I forgot what that felt like. And now with the holidays, like I've taken a step back and I've just had a breather and it's been so nice to be reminded of like the value of taking a break. And I think that's actually where a lot of creativity comes. Honestly, it's like when you step away from the day-to-day grind. So basically what I'm trying to say is, I really resonate with, you know, the comments that you just made, I think it's just a good reminder to practice really like what both of us preach. And in my own experience, because I'm so passionate about the field of mental health, sometimes, and this is the irony, it's actually harder to implement the things that I talk about and share with other people, do you find that to be a similar experience for you? Like sometimes it's actually harder to take your own advice and be present and focus on moving away from that achievement addiction that you mentioned earlier. - When people say, like, practice what you preach, I almost like pride myself on not preaching. I'm not in account that's telling people, this is how you can blah, blah, blah. Or do this to stop blah, blah, blah. I am just detailing the shit that I go through, the great things that I go through, the good, the bad, the ugly, and I'm taking you with me, and I frequently will say I don't have the answer. I just wanna give people comfort in the fact that I'm also figuring it out with them. So I guess I don't feel, no, it's like, I don't, 'cause that to me would feel inauthentic, and so I wanna always be authentic. And so like I could never be someone who gets on stage and is like, the key is to happiness or choose joy, like I could never be that because I don't know how to do that yet myself. And I try to be super candid. Like, you know, the other week I posted this long caption about I may seem happy and life may seem fine for me, but I'm actually going through some stuff and the reality is sometimes we are going through things and we are happy and we are showing up at work. And like, so I try to be really honest about everything that I'm feeling and the fact that sometimes that is, that's the takeaway that I'm there to. And that's to me like been really helpful with my career because I don't feel like I need to muster up some happiness or some type of way to show up online. Like I can show up the way that I feel today, you know, no makeup, not my most bubbly. And like that's gonna be received and that's gonna be what people are there for as well, you know? - Yeah, totally. And it goes back to what we were talking about earlier. Really it's like the inception of real post. Like this desire and the intention to live authentically in your own life, but then also have that permeate through social media because I think when people can feel themselves feel seen by others and feel like a sense of relatability, having that comfort is like, I think what will empower other people to make choices that are healthy for them and recognize that health is really nuanced and it's not a one size fits all. So it's really about like finding things that work for you. And going off of that, I wanted to ask you some questions really more broadly speaking on your perspective of leading a healthy and happy life. You'd mention that quote from the religious studies teacher at USC on happiness really being like a state of mind. Like not seeking it externally, but cultivating that sense inside of yourself. How would you describe your own philosophy on health and wellness through the various stages in your life and the experiences that you've had? How do you now define what it means to lead a healthy and happy life? It's a great question. And I think that what I always come back to is intuition. I'm a super intuitive person. I'm an intuitive eater. So I listen to my body. I think about what I'm craving. I check in with myself. I'm super intuitive with like even work. Like I'm not someone who plans out my 10 Instagram posts at the start of the week. Like I just wake up and I'm seeing what is coming to me that day. Like what is intuitive? Working out. Yes, I'm trying to implement a schedule. But when I get the it's just sweat or I really want to get my heart rate up, I'll do it. If it's eight o'clock at night, if it's a weekend, if I just showered. So I think for me, my philosophy on like health and wellness is it's not the answer you find in the magazine. It's not what your favorite influencer says. It's not what is in that book from that amazing doctor. It's like ask yourself, how do I feel? Does my body feel good when I eat gluten? Do I feel better when I don't? Does do I feel better and more energized when I work out? Do I feel energized when I don't work out? I don't know the answers for you. But I feel like everyone is trying to find someone to tell them what to do. And the truth is that no one can do that for you but yourself. And you need to turn everything off, take some deep breaths, sit in silence with yourself for 30 minutes, and say, how do I feel? And what do I need? We know what we need. And I think we can really dampen our intuition over time. Like, you know, when we don't listen to ourselves and we don't live an authentic life and we're not true to who we are, we quiet that voice. It's there, but it's quiet and it's not confident because it always gets shut down. It always gets rejected. It always gets shushed away. It's put in the closet, right? So we have to maybe give it more confidence. Let it know we are listening. We want to hear from it. We're not going to shoo it away anymore. And so I do think over time, you know, you have to get your intuition back. But my philosophy is a constant check in with myself about what I need and then doing my best to meet those needs. On this topic of following your intuition, leading an authentic life, like, what are some strategies that you've started to adopt in your life or maybe in your roots. that are like check ins, that are checking in with yourself, that you're on this like intuitive path, or rather your like actions are reflective of really what you need in that moment. 'Cause it's so easy to get lost in the noise and like the comparison mindset and it's really, I think it's one thing to just say like, okay, we have to follow our intuition, we have to lead an authentic life, but it's another thing to actually like put it into practice. So what have you found to be like a successful strategy or something that you have in your toolkit to help kind of move the needle towards being the most authentic version of yourself. - Definitely. So I don't have this flushed out in a pretty like five step way, but a lot of things that come to mind are one slowing down. You know, a lot of us are just in robotic routines. We wake up at the same time, we leave at the same time, we always give this answer to this question, we always park in the same spot. Like we just, we go through lives and we don't slow down and we don't stop to think. So the first thing I would say is like just stopping. You know, if you're eating, put your fork and your knife down, push your thing away from the chair, sit up, take a deep breath and just stop for 30 seconds. Like slowing down, I think is the way to get more connected with yourself. The second is I would say no distractions, turning off the TV, putting your phone on silent, not being around people all the time. A lone time is super powerful. So the second thing as I'd say is eliminate the distractions to allow yourself the opportunity to be with yourself. You know, the other night I was on my way to get dinner alone and I was like, oh, I'm gonna call so and so. And then I was like, Vic, just be with yourself. We don't need to call someone for 30 minutes because we're gonna be alone. Like, you know, that's powerful. So those two, third is I would say having curiosity. So, you know, you might have this intuition that you wanna, like if I'm using food as an example, you wanna have, you really wanna have Oreos, great, eat the Oreos. And then as you're eating them, think, hmm, did this, did these taste the way that I wanted? What do they taste like? How do I feel wanna eat them? How do I feel after? Do I wanna do that again? Do I not like having curiosity for the things that you're doing so that you can, you know, have that child like play and that candor with yourself is powerful. I think compassion is huge. There's gonna be trial and error. You might think that you are someone who loves to wake up early and realize, you know what, I'm a night owl. I love nighttime is when I feel like I can take over the world. So I'm not gonna force a five a.m. wake up in an eight p.m. bedtime when that just makes me sad. I'm gonna wake up at eight instead and I'm gonna do my work later in the night and like, I'm a night owl. So I think having compassion as well as you start to figure out what's working, what's not working, maybe the judgment you have around what you wanted to be as a person and maybe what you really are. So I hope that kind of those thought starters can help people get more in touch with their intuition. - Yeah, compassion is huge. And it's something I've also been really trying to practice like to give an example similar to what you were also describing. Like I personally feel really energized in the morning and I love to get in some form of movement. And over the summer, I was like committed to going to yoga at like six or seven a.m. Like every morning and I loved it. And it was like natural and easy for me. And then the minute like daylight savings hit in the fall and now it's like removing into the winter, like I just don't wanna be up that early. It's like depressing. And instead of forcing myself like go to yoga because it'll make you happier, I've now started to recognize that it's okay that what once made me happy maybe in that season, like right now doesn't work for me and it doesn't mean that, you know, I have to work out super early every morning to like fit in this mold of what it means to be healthy. So that's something that like I've discovered and I think it ties into what you're talking about around like self compassion and really being flexible and kind to yourself. So I really, really love that. As we're wrapping up this interview, there's one question that I ask every guest that comes onto the podcast really ties into the theme of endorphins, happiness, finding things in life that bring you joy, really like the central topic of conversation that connects all episodes on everyday endorphins. And my question to you, Victoria, is what is something that brings you a bit of endorphins every day? - What brings me endorphins every day? I would say my husband, Max, sorry, that was not relatable. But I think it could just be anyone in your life who you have a really great relationship with who makes you happy and feel safe and feel seen. And I literally just light up anytime Max comes home at night, walks into a room and I love spending time with him. And so I just feel super grateful and blessed because yeah, I have this great relationship and it definitely is part of my everyday endorphins. - I love that. A lot of people on the show have either sad like their kid or their spouse or it really can be a wide variety of things. And that's really I think the power in talking about finding things that bring you happiness because it's such a wide variety. And just being so intentional with focusing on what does make you happy will just make you feel 10% better. And I think that's something we can all benefit from. Where can my listeners follow along and stay up to date with everything that you share around mental health and your platform? - Well, there are podcast lovers, which would be my guest. They can head over to RealPod. My show is anywhere you stream. And then my Instagram is just Victoria Brown and my TikTok is Victoria Brown. And so the rest of everything could pretty much be found there. - Amazing. Thank you so much. It was such a pleasure having you on the podcast. - Thank you so much, Stella. I really appreciated being on you at such thoughtful questions and thank you for inviting me. (upbeat music) - Thanks for listening to this episode of Everyday Endorphins. If you liked what you heard, make sure to like, rate, and review this podcast on whichever platform you prefer. You can also follow along the Everyday Endorphins Instagram account to stay up to date with episodes, future events, and all things related to mental health, well-being, and happiness. Don't forget to keep spreading endorphins and find things in life that bring you joy every day. Until next time. (upbeat music) [Music]