Ep. #747: Ted Cruz, Kid Rock, Jim VandeHei

Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late night series Real Time with Bill Maugh. [MUSIC] >> Thank you, Bill. >> How are you? >> How are you? >> How are you down there? >> [APPLAUSE] >> Thank you so much. >> [APPLAUSE] >> Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. >> [APPLAUSE] >> All right. >> [APPLAUSE] >> All right, please. There's so much to get today. It is four days before the election. Are you excited about that? The election coming up. >> All right, all right. And all, everything's coming out. Now, the New York Times report today, we've heard this for years that they say there is evidence now that Rutgers ended up Elon Omar, if familiar in Minnesota, may have, in fact, married her brother, which is hurting her a lot in Minnesota. In West Virginia, the approval ratings are off the chart. [APPLAUSE] It's just, you know, all this, you know, you saw the one in Alaska. You see how that race is going with Dan Sullivan and Dan J Sullivan. Have you followed that? >> [APPLAUSE] >> Would they, the Democrats? Yeah, a dirty trick. It's legal. Okay, they all do it. Dan Sullivan's the Senator. He's a Republican. So they got a guy named Dan J Sullivan, just a fool people. And the Republicans are outraged. They said this would never happen if George W. Bush or George H. W. Bush was president. [APPLAUSE] Yeah. And, you know, it's getting nasty. There's 160 different campaign ads that now are mentioning Jeffrey Epstein. They say he's a pedophile. They say he's partied with Trump. Abdul El Sayyad said, Epstein, what kind of name is that? [APPLAUSE] But the big scandal, of course, is what Obama said. He was campaigning for El Sayyad. And he said, you know, the White House looks like Saddam Hussein, who was a fascist dictator who gasped his own people, was running a cheesecake factory. [LAUGHTER] And the Republicans all said, leave the cheesecake factory out of this. [LAUGHTER] Well, I mean, I should know, I just had dinner there. I hear it went well. What did you've heard? No, did you see the 1300 word tweet he sent out? Longest ever? Kind of a flex. [APPLAUSE] I tell you, dining at the White House is the opposite of the cheesecake factory. After you leave, they review you. [LAUGHTER] He, I mean, he went off on me like Kelly Clarkson in a toy store. [LAUGHTER] Eating with Trump is like dating Taylor Swift. It's a lot of laughs at the time. But later on, they're tearing you into asshole. I tell you. [APPLAUSE] I have it here. I'm going to, like, I don't want it to be this way. I want this whole point of having these dinners-- [LAUGHTER] Let's see, there's a little one. The whole point of having these dinners was talk, disagree, but listen, which he does in person, but don't hate each other. And then I go back to my job here, and then the heart aches begin. [LAUGHTER] All right, so I'm not going to refute everything, but I do have to address a few of the allegations. It begins. Let's talk about the complete and total loser Bill Maher. [LAUGHTER] You got me there. OK, I'll own that. But then, OK. When I have watched the show, which isn't often, it always ends with dishonesty about me at least, but who cares? Yeah, who cares? [LAUGHTER] Three pages of who cares? [LAUGHTER] But this is what pisses me off. He doesn't even notice what I actually say. He doesn't think it was a good thing, so I'm at me, to take the nuclear weapon away from Iran, which shows you that he is not very smart. Don, can I show you something? We bombed Iran, and it's going on. Now, have you expected me to say, I hate it? I don't. I was for this shot at Iran to try to take out this regime. You saw that with Iran, which I thought was it necessary things to at least try? One of the few people on the lunatic left who's glad you hit Iran, saw my smart now. [APPLAUSE] Page two. [LAUGHTER] Talks about how I called him incessantly. I've never called you. You called me. [LAUGHTER] I'd be afraid to call you. You're the president. I think you're too busy. Well, plainly not. [LAUGHTER] At least don't mind me. He invited himself to the White House. [LAUGHTER] As if you could do that. [LAUGHTER] Sir Bill Maher is here. Well, he's not invited, but it's the law. [LAUGHTER] We had a-- [APPLAUSE] We had our first meeting. Bill was very nervous. He asked for a drink. He was very insecure. He had a seriously bruised eye and nose area. [LAUGHTER] There are pictures of it that you gave me. I don't have it. It's in the pictures. And then this. I wanted to tell Bill at this dinner that he's a major pothead. [LAUGHTER] Well. [APPLAUSE] Well, I guess the cat's out of the bag now. Boy, that explains a lot. I thought I was just happy. He looked like hell this time. Bill was and had alcohol in his hand. That you gave me. [LAUGHTER] As he walked through the White House. And then I love-- [LAUGHTER] I love this. Overall, I thought it was a good meeting. [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] I understand he's doing his thing. I never took it personally. [LAUGHTER] He's not a nice guy when he spouts, isn't what he believes. He has to cater to his base, which is mostly composed of losers. That would be you assholes. All right. We've got a great show. Ken Rock and Jim Van Dahier here. The first stop. He's a Republican senator from Texas and Arthur. I'm going further to the impeccable clearance. I must senator Ted Cruz is on me here. All right. [APPLAUSE] Senator, how are you back? I'm seeing you. Thank you. [APPLAUSE] All right. So there was no pressure on you not to come here. What's there? None whatsoever. Oh, great. I go to your-- By the way, that was funny, so. Oh. [APPLAUSE] I look higher. You know. [APPLAUSE] I'm trying not to fight. You know, I am. I could have been meaner. I'm not-- I don't know that that's possible. All right. But let's-- we only have a little time. I want to get to your book. It's important to you. And I-- look, I got it late. I'm going to not lie and say I read it. I have an had time to read it. I want to give you, I think, what is a good plug. I want to read it. And I'll tell you why. Because I don't trust anybody. My whole life, I've been-- I've been hearing Clarence Thomas is a huge asshole. I've been hearing, you know, he never speaks. He must be retarded. You know, all these things, somebody who goes duck hunting with watermelon RV is corrupt. I don't believe anything. Maybe that's all true. But what are you going to tell me in this book that's going to make me think, oh, you know what? I was being led astray. Well, look, all of that, I discuss in the book. It's a biography that tells his life story. And the reason I wrote it, I've known him a long time. And I admire him. I recognize there are a lot of people that don't. But they don't know who he is. They don't know a story. He was born in 1948. So three years after World War II, born in abject poverty in rural Georgia. Pinpoid Georgia. was not his first language. He spoke a dialect. He was on a coastal island. He spoke a dialect called Geechy. He lived in a tenement with his mom without indoor plumbing. He was raised by his grandparents, very strict discipline. He faced massive racism. He was born and grew up before Brown vs. Board of Education at a time of segregated schools. His first passion, he wanted to be a priest, so he went to seminary and he studied to be a priest. And he ended up getting disillusioned with the church. And in particular, overracing civil rights that he didn't think the church was speaking up enough against segregation, against discrimination, a story that I tell in the book when he was in seminary. This is when he was in high school. He did seminary for most high school and college. He was one of only two black kids in the seminary. And a kid passed him a note that said, "I like Martin Luther King." And he turns the paper over and on the back it says, "Dead." That was the kind of environment he was in. And he ended up getting angry. He withdrew from seminary. He got angry at God. He got angry at the church. And he went to Holy Cross for college where he became a left-wing radical. Clarence Thomas' journey, when he was in college, he wore camo pants and army boots. He had a poster of Malcolm X on the wall. He went to black Panther rallies. He was part of a riot in Harvard Square. And what I try to do in the book is trace his personal journey. There's been no justice that has come from such abject poverty to the pinnacle of American law. But also trace his ideological journey from an angry left-wing radical to one of the most important conservative thinkers to have ever lived. And finally, today, Clarence Thomas is the second longest serving Supreme Court justice in history. Within about a year and a half, he will become the longest serving justice ever to serve on the court. And so I try in the book to take his opinions and make him understandable, make him so you don't have to be a lawyer, you don't have to be an expert. But I tell this story so that it's fun, so that it's interesting so that you know who he is. I sat with him for nine and a half hours to do one-on-one interviews with him. But in the court, why not speak? So that is actually the opening chapter of the book. And there are lots of different theories. One of the things I talk about is how on the left, he's just been demonized and vilified. So many on the left, whether it was reporters or professors or others said, well, he's too stupid to speak. That's why he doesn't speak. Others said it was because English was not his first language, and he was just reluctant to speak. So what's interesting, I asked him that, and I've argued nine times in front of the court. I can tell you the nine times I argued, he never asked me a single question. And I always had a theory, which was that the other justices ask tons of questions. And he's someone who's very systematic and he wants to listen to the argument. He'll ask the question if he has one. But he always felt the other justices were showing off a little bit. They were asking too many questions interrupting the argument. He wanted to sit back and think. Now what's interesting now, when COVID happened, they changed how arguments happened. So it used to be used to it at the podium, and the justice is just peppered questions actually. Now they've set it up so each justice has a period to ask questions. And today, Clarence Thomas asks lots of questions, because it's no longer his colleague's dominating time. All right. So I'm going to read the book, find out what this is all about. But I got to tell you, maybe you'll change my mind on this politics. You're not going to change me on Anita Hill. Okay? Because I believe her. Well, I do. I mean, look, he may be, the idea, I mean, the central premise of this politics, that government programs intended to help black people actually make them subservient, that is worth looking at. The other thing, come on. He was a lonely guy with no game. I mean, a pubic hair on the coat can. Who could make that up? I think he sexually harassed her. And you'll never get me to think otherwise. Well, look, I understand that. And there's, look, there's a lot of tribalism in America that if you're on one team, you think the other team is terrible and vice versa? No, just him. Just on this one issue. On this one thing. I do. And I just on this one thing. It just, it just, you know, and again, I wasn't there. You'll never know. Nobody will ever know. Can I point out that at the time two-thirds of Americans disagreed with you. So if you look at, and I go, but I'll tell you who cares. So what happened? The country watched Anita Hill testify. They watched him respond to it. And he would not have been confirmed. This was a Democrat Senate that confirmed Clarence Thomas. It was different. They were different. But at the time, the people watched. And, and by a two-to-one margin, the people watching said, I believe that guy. And I'll just make this point. Look, if you look at public life at sexual predators, and sadly, there have been too many in the, in the political world, typically someone doesn't do it just once. If they're a sexual predator, there's a pattern of it over the years. Well, maybe they did it, and other people didn't come forward. Yeah. So. Okay. We'll never know. But I just want to say, to give me some standing in this. Yeah. I thought the Brett Kavanaugh thing was bullshit. So it's not just partisan. So I actually connect those two, because look, the Brett Kavanaugh hearings, I was on the Senate judiciary committee, and I actually describe when the allegations came out against Brett Kavanaugh, we had a meeting of all the Senate Republicans, because by the way, in both instances, the Democrats had those allegations weeks ahead of time. They didn't release them, and they released them on the eve of the vote to try to sandbag the nominee to follow the same pattern. But what I describe is, is some of my Republican colleagues said, well, we're not going to hear these allegations, no, let's just go forward. And I said, look, that is nuts. Brett Kavanaugh is not getting confirmed, unless the same thing that happens with Clarence Thomas happens with him, which is the American people need to hear as accuser. And they need to hear him and make a judgment. If the American people listen to the two of them and say they believe him, they don't get confirmed. And if they don't, it's okay. So we have an election coming up. Are you confident that it's going to go fair and square? Because I remember when you won Iowa against Trump in 2016. And the first thing he said was you cheated. The vote isn't. It seems like there's a little pattern. That when he loses, he just says the vote isn't fair. That's where your party is now. Are you going to fight up against that? Well, look, to be fair, the Democrat party is there too. I was also part of George W. Bush's campaign when Al Gore brought litigation, challenging Florida in 2000. For good reason. The good. Why he lost. What was the good reason? Well, the Supreme Court said he lost. Well, so did every time they counted the ballots. They counted the ballots. They stopped counting the ballots, because the Supreme Court told them to. So I was part of the litigation team, so I was in Florida 36 days litigating those cases. Well, let's not talk about the two thousand election. All right. Let's talk about the fact that you came to Washington as a tea party guy, right? And their big thing was we got to stop the out of control spending. Yeah. How's that going? Oh, look. Both parties are a train wreck on spending. I have joke. But your party's supposed to be the one that's not. We are. I've joked we should make a bumper sticker Republicans. We waste less. That's. And the problem is it's a bipartisan problem where you have a multi-trillion dollar spending bill. You'll get every Democrat and you get about half the Republicans. And there are about 20 of us who will vote no. I pray that changes. I had been. What we're doing to our kids is irresponsible and wrong. Right now, a super majority of the Senate wants to keep doing it. Okay. So I noticed that Trump is going after James Comey for the third time. The first time is because he was on a beach. And he. And he put out. You know this story. Yeah. He wrote in C-shells. C-shells, Ted. Forty-seven, eighty-six. Meaning, Trump, the forty-seven, the president, eighty-six means to get rid of something. That tried to say this was like he wanted to kill him or something. I just wanted to ask the author of Justice Corrupted How the Left Weaponized were a legal system. I will say I thought it was. Look, the case, I don't know if that case will go anywhere or not. It was pretty astonishing for a former director of the FBI to say to eighty-six someone is not to get rid of them. It's to kill them. No, it isn't. Where did you ever hear that? I've never heard that. From every mobbooby I've ever watched. I don't generally speak in terms of eighty-sixing someone. And I've never heard that. Every person who saw. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I've watched all the mob movies too. They don't say eighty-six. They say whack a guy. They say he's gone. He sleeps with a face. That thing. Did you take care of that thing? They don't say, "Yeah, we eighty-sixth him." It doesn't. Okay, so let's wrap up one way. -So that's at least some-- -Okay, but you actually think that James Comey was trying to ferment a plot to actually assassinate Trump. That that's what it was. It was a message in seashells to the assassins. -I can tell you, I don't think I've ever seen ahead of the FBI, or former ahead of the FBI, calling for killing a president. -He did? -He did. This is a president who's had two assassination attempts. He was shot in Butler, Pennsylvania, so it's not a mild thing. So, look, I don't know if the case will go, but I thought it was disgusting for the head of the FBI, and to-- and listen, I disagreed with Barack Obama. I disagreed with Joe Biden. I would never advocate violence against either of them, and there's too much violence in our political system. That this-- there's a culture of violence, and so I thought what Comey did was disgusting. -I think it's a bit of a stretch, but let's agree to disagree. I'm always happy that you're willing to come on this show and talk to me about what we don't agree with. -Well, Bill, every day I find myself agreeing with you more and more, and I don't know if that scares me more or you more, but I'm glad to be here, and I've never had a pumpkin head with my face on it, so that's very cool. -That's it. Thank you, Senator Ted Cruz. All right. Thank you, Ted. Let's take our panel. [ Cheers and applause ] -All right. Hey. All right. Here they are. He's the co-founder and CEO of Axiosu Courot. The book "Simplify" do 50% more with 50%. It was "Unless Jim Bend High." [ Cheers and applause ] He's a giant rock star sold over 30 milliamps. His new one is called "Halfway to Jesus Kid Rock." He's back with us. [ Cheers and applause ] All right, boys. Thanks for being here. It's election season. This is four days away. This is our last chance to go on the record and make our predictions. Let's do it, because, you know, after this, it'll just be history. I'm sticking with mine. My prediction that this will be a historic thumping of the Republican Party. I've heard a lot recently that said, "Oh, no. Let's not count our chickens." Well, I'm counting my chickens. People are very, very mad at the Republican Party at the Trump presidency. And this is their way to express it. I see Fox News. Viewership is down 27%. That says something about the enthusiasm going on. Kansas. They have not elected a Republican senator since 1932 when Dorothy beat the witch. [ Laughter ] And. [ Cheers and applause ] The Democrat, there is up by 10 points. What's your prediction, Jim? I think with the caveat that we live in a 50/50 country and we're surprised all the time, by every single indicator, people are so hacked off. I see it in TV ratings. I see it in my own family. People who really like Trump, like Republicans, are pissed off about the war about tariffs. And so I wouldn't be surprised if it's a big, big landslide. And the fact that we're even talking about Kansas, Georgia, Texas, places that shouldn't be in play. Even Ohio, Iowa, places where these are really Republican states. The fact that they're in play just shows some things in the air. And I think it'd rather be a Democrat than a Republican. Well, first of all, I think it's very tough. I can look at the first election with Hillary Clinton. I remember going to bed that night. I'm like, "There's no way my guy can win." "There's no way." Right? And just. I was convinced from the media. It couldn't happen. And speaking of the media, it's very tough. You know, the only time you hear about this man's wins is when he tells you about them. I mean, think about your favorite sports team. And if you just woke up every day and you saw the meds lost, they never told you that they won. Do you ever hear anything about the border? We can talk about the Iran war all we want. And people don't have to like it. They can be for it. We do not know how this is going to play out. Will this be good for our country in 10 years? You know, time's going to be the ultimate determiner. So I don't trust the polls. Yeah. I don't know. I'm not sure about Michigan especially. My home state. Former home state. I'm not sure about Texas. I don't think it's going to be a shellacking. And if it's not, that's kind of a win. You know, if they don't let too many of the crazies. And which I know the Democratic party is not happy about. I look at it like kind of the trans gay thing. I was like, all my gay friends are not too happy about the trans people coming in with all bringing all this baggage in. Right. To a lot of milestones they've made. And the Democrats are like, man, we don't need this crazy socialist ideological crap coming in either. But I don't think they have the backbone to stand up to them. No, they don't. I said now what they're saying is we want a big tent. But that's not what this election is about. That's the next election. That the next election is going to be absolutely about. Is the Democratic party a big enough tent to have these socialists, which, you know, a lot of times it's actually communist. He's not wrong about that. Yeah. This election is about Donald Trump. And they do not like the things he has done. You're right. The Iran world we never know what's going to happen there. I do think he fucked up the execution of it as I just showed. Why did he write that I was against it when I could show the tape there? And show I. Me, it's a pretty busy man. I don't know if he has time to fact. Well, he's. He's fact is a lie. Real time. I don't think he's fact-checked. What's he said? He said I was drunk. I was not drunk. Okay. You're not drunk. You're not drunk. You're not drunk. You're not drunk. We're not drunk. We have a good time. We have a good time. Right? I had to leave early, but yes. Yeah, it was. Okay, but he says it was two hours. Like, what's the point? He's talking about dinner the whole thing. Dinner was two hours before. It was four hours before. Okay. Doesn't matter. Let's see. We got much bigger issues. Why can't anybody take a joke? Like, I think you have a great sense of humor. We can joke with each other. Like Obama this week when he said Saddam was saying, "What was the cheesecake factory?" The cheesecake factory. Did you think it was funny? Yeah, right. I'm laughing at it. Okay. But this is what we do in our society. We take, you know, one thing that one person says, and we make, we polarize, who does this? The scumbag media. They polarize. Everybody for a click and a view, because that's our advertising dollars. They do it on the left. It's actually the Republicans who are pretending that the cheesecake factory is now a core value of the Republican party. And they do it on the left. Absolutely, of course. But they're pretending that Obama is an elitist. Do you really think Obama is an elitist? I remember when he was on 60 minutes at time, and with Michelle. And he was talking about when they used to date. And the car, he picked her up and had a hole in the floor of the car. You could see the road when you're riding. And that Trump ever had an experience like that. No, I don't think. I do like some McDonald's. [LAUGHTER] OK. So Obama was campaigning for El Sayed. Let's talk about that one. He said they will use lies. They will use fear, and they will use division to suggest you are less dangerous, and less than trustworthy, and less patriotic, and less American than they are. We have seen this move before. I started it. I'm going to call bullshit on this. I think, as far as this issue goes, about Islam and America and Canada to our Muslim, the left is naive, and the right is hysterical. hysterical. I mean, there are things that they're being said. Trump said, "If Abdul and the Democrats win, they will open the floodgates and invite hordes of jihadists to our shores, creating a nightmare of violence and terror until you cannot even have a Christmas." [LAUGHTER] You don't really believe that, do you? I mean, that's, again, they are naive on the left. On this issue, we can get into that, but this is also crazy. Can I tell you about Abdul El Sayed? You know, they're talking about the Muslim brother. The thing from, yes, something as mother was associated. The '70s didn't raise him fair enough. What they're not blasting loud enough is the op-ed that he wrote when he was in college, which, by the way, I understand, as a case was funded by George Soros, wrote an op-ed in college supporting the Egyptian president who was absolutely with the Muslim brotherhood and even called on him to purge the police and the media. If that's not enough for you, in the last debate in Michigan with his candidate, Mike Rogers, they were asked to point blank. Who is a bigger threat to America? Iran or Israel? Mike Rogers? Iran, Abdul asked him twice. Couldn't answer the question. If that's not enough for you, throw a big helping of socialism on top. And people talk about assimilation to all the time, right? This man very much is assimilated. Good education, well-spoken. You're even a good-looking guy. You know who else assimilated very well? Those pieces of shit that flew those planes into our world trade centers. The fort hood shooter. This has happened all over the world. So it scares the hell out of me. This is Islamic extremism. Well, I don't know. Is he a wolf in sheep's clothes? He's just a wolf and a wolf in the wolf's clothing. But that doesn't matter so much. But the 9/11 hijackers weren't here assimilated. They were from Saudi Arabia. Right. But that's -- It's -- It's -- No, I'm playing with Saudi Arabia. Your point? I think you're right about the point. He was asked, who's the bigger threat to America? Iran or Israel? Okay, Israel just had an election. You may not like the outcome, but it was a real election. Iran doesn't have those. They should protestors in the street. You're never going to get my vote if you don't understand that fundamental difference. Right, but there's something. difference between being anti-Israel, and then saying that someone is a member of the Muslim brotherhood. Correct. I agree. That they're going to take away your Christmas because they're a terrorist in sheep's clothing or whatever. Yes. The language is. And I think that's the stuff that the American people have kind of had an asshole, to be honest. There's stuff where you're talking about the cheesecake factory. You're talking about making these wild accusations that really had nothing to do with this moment in history, which is if you just step back, it's kind of a big moment in history. You have this artificial intelligence revolution that's going to change our lives more in the next three years than any technology that we've seen. You've got a rise in China. You've got a live war in the Middle East. You've got people who are suffering from having to pay a hell of a lot more for things that should be a hell of a lot cheaper. And I think that is why people are so sick of politics in general. And I just think what happens with these elections, you're right, if Democrats walk away from this election, say people love Democrats, there's nothing, nothing in the evidence. This has people like Democrats, they just hate Republicans more right now. And that's kind of what our politics has become. It's like plug your nose and like who do you hate slightly less than the other party. And if we keep going through the cycle year after year, cycle after cycle, you just sit in this 20 year period. Well, we're not doing that much good at government by either party. It's just paralysis. Look at how we talk about what's under the cruise with the debt. Look at the amount of debt that we have piled up. Party after party. And the entire party, the Republican party, says we want smaller government. Then why the hell do you keep getting bigger government? And then you have Democrats who say, well, we're going to behave differently. And all they do is spend as much money, but they put more social restrictions on how you're going to spend the money. And then people are just like the hell with it. And so I'll just vote for whoever. (Applause.) All right. All right. So it is Halloween tomorrow, are you all excited about Halloween? Looking to buy a costume this year, and boy, I was disappointed because, you know, you cannot buy a costume of a celebrity because they will sue you because you can go as somebody. How long? Well, you can't -- you can't go -- you can't go as prints. All right. You can't buy a costume of prints, but so they put out things like the purple artist, wink, wink. (Applause.) No, these are real. You can't buy a Marilyn Monroe costume, but you can go as the Hollywood starlet. You can't -- you can't buy a Super Mario costume, but you can go as the red plumber god. (Laughter.) Those are all real. Those aren't the only ones, but you like to hear some others, right? I knew you would. For example, you cannot buy a costume of Madonna, but you can go as twerking granny. You can't buy a Mark Zuckerberg costume, but you can go as friendless May and A's boy. You can't -- you can't buy a Lindsey Graham costume, gay ghost. You can go as that. You can't -- you can't buy a amber herd costume, but sexy bed pooper, yes, they will tell you that. (Applause.) Lindsey Clancy, I mean, just bad taste, but you can't get it, but you could go as moody new mother. (Laughter.) (Applause.) Oh, you can't buy a kid rock costume, but you could go as Bud Light Marksman. (Applause.) Mitch McConnell can't get that costume buffering legislator? Yes, that -- you can't buy a Britney Spears costume, but knife-juggling mom. Yes, they have a -- (Applause.) And you can't get Prince Harry, but you could go as ginger-fuck-face. (Applause.) So, I'm -- I'm talking about the bigger issue of making America great, because I feel like when the party that you're in is not in the White House, America is total shit. And then nothing really changes that much sometimes in your life, but somehow, in your mind, the world is just terrible when your party is out of power. Why are -- just did a story about expats, people who just had -- had enough with this country, and they couldn't stand it one more day when Trump got elected. Ellen, remember, Ellen moved to England briefly. (Laughter.) And then they have buyers or more. 71 percent of these expats said they left because of the political climate. But what they found with the expats is buyers' remorse. (Laughter.) They found that it really wasn't paradise over there. And the things that we take for granted, you know, like air conditioning, like tens of thousands of people died in Europe this summer, because then of air conditioning, the things like dishwashers that -- which we take for granted are kind of a luxury over there. We saw this when we had the soccer here, remember, in the summer, and all the people from Mola over the world. Lockies. (Laughter.) All over the world were coming and, like, losing their shit over our pizza. (Laughter.) So, you know, what do we do about this, about convincing people to not have this cognitive distance between your actual life and what the world is in your mind when the wrong parties in power? Don't look at your screen, right? Because the truth is, like, this is my belief about the country, why I'm, like, long-term very optimistic. It's that if you look at your screen or you watch TV, you would think everybody's bad shit crazy. Why? Because the algorithms elevate the people who say that nutty as crazy as wackiest things. That's not the country. The country is, like, 80 percent normal. They go to church. They go to little league. They raise their kids. They're normal people who do the right thing for the right reason. And they're just, they don't show up in politics, they don't show up in your social media feed. But if you look at, through other history of the country, those are the people who repair it when the smarty pants break it. And I do think that that will happen again. I think there's something happening in politics right now where people just had it. They feel like they keep being told they're going to get one thing and they get something different. And they feel it about both parties. You see, there's rise in people who don't want to affiliate with either party. They've just had it, and they've had it because they just want to live a normal life. And they want people who can critique the country, but love the country. Like, how the hell can you, I think about this, I have young kids, I think about this all the time. What a great country. Like, I grew up in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, you grew up in Michigan, we're able to do whatever we want to do. I was able to start companies, make money, interview presidents, say whatever you want. Not go to jail for doing it. And what other country can you do that? And that's not change. That is not what a lot of the young left thinks. No, it's crazy. They think we have this crap in college, it's not what they should be being caught. They think we need a revolution. They think things are so bad. I mean, sitting home, letting people bring your food to you. What you have to is pick up your phone and hit a few buttons and someone, you have to see them. I think what he said, I think he's spot on. They have a lot to do with the screen, especially social media and, you know, especially with young children. I like my granddaughter. And I'm like, if you scroll on this thing and it starts feeding you those algorithms, you're like, this is not real. Right. Not of this is real. Like, these girls' lives, you know, especially if the young aren't this great. They get in trouble, too. They have to do their chores. They have to blow out a clean up the dog poop or something. They would never have you know any of this. And I think the other point is like, with me, like, Democrats never scared me. I think differently, you know, I support more conservative values, especially, I would say, fiscally, you know, and we're socially liberal. But Democrats never scared me being in office until just recently when all this crazy stuff has popped up, it's been like, you know, I think Bill Clinton loves our country. I believe Obama loved our country. You know, I believe everybody kind of, now these whack jobs are coming in here and I'm like, wait a minute, I feel even if they don't hate the country as a whole, they hate a big portion of it. And they're spewing this. And I believe our teachers have been a big problem. You know, indoctrinating these kids for a long time now. We're starting to see the fruition. They're starting to raise up. I'm a victim and everything's bad in America is just a big racist piece of shit country. And, you know, we're bad, bad in America and we're not celebrating what makes us great, which is all of us being different and being together, being the greatest country in the world. And that is a. (applause) Right? That is a real problem. (applause) Not turning teachers, but it's more in general, like what you're taught, the environment, the bubble that you're in. Nobody's appreciating the fact that take artificial intelligence. Where was it created? Here. Not China. China's five times our size. They would love to have this technology. Why is every new, interesting technology created here? Why, despite our political crap, do you still have the fastest growing, largest economy? Why is it that every country in trouble comes to us looking for help? I don't know. Maybe there's something special about the country that 250 years in, we get a lot more right than wrong. Is this there is this thing? about our brain and about media in general, which is this negativity bias. We amplify bad crap, and we don't spend enough time celebrating it. Yes, we do bad things, and some people have a bad lot in life. But for the most part, we always do the right thing eventually, and we might screw things up a little bit better. And we accent the negative. I mean, I noticed a lot of the complaining about the economy is that the middle class has shrunk. It has. The part they never mentioned is one reason it has is because the upper middle class, not the super rich, but upper middle class, people who can afford fucking Disneyland and tell us with tickets, has grown enormously. But nobody knows that. What you just said is a true fact that the reason that people are, that you have fewer people in the middle class is they're getting richer, and that's something that we should sell. And that doesn't mean there aren't everybody else who are left behind, who we should effort. What about the corporations, though? And you know, what they do, which we saw during COVID, they're going to make their money one way or the other. One day I sat down and ate a whole bag of potato chips, I'm like, how the frickin' ate a whole bag of potato chips? I wasn't drinking or nothing. I was like, and I did a little research, I'm like, so you know what, these core of these Ivy League scholars that weren't for these corporations who, for Coca-Cola, they don't even know how to make a Coca-Cola. Their thing is to try to screw over the consumer, you know? They're putting less in there and selling it at the same price, trying to make that money back from COVID. I think this has a lot to do with affecting middle-class people. They're the ones buying the bulk of these products, could be wrong, but that's just what I know in here. I don't know if anybody knows, but I am not a scholar. You're making us laugh, and that's what we're going to show it up. This is an entertainment show on an entertainment network. We're very glad you're here, you're a perfect guest for Halloween. And you're my friend. You seem very high on AI, much more than I am. I mean, you don't, you seem to be in the camp that we're worrying about this a little too much. No, I don't, I'm in the camp of like just full disclosure, I made myself an AI lab rat. I poured weight more than into the technology than one probably should, but I've done it because I want to be able to lead my company, talk to readers about it, and all I can tell you is someone who uses it, we're going to go through more change in the next 18 months that we have in the last 20 years. And my view is I'm a pragmatist, if I have to run a company, if I have to teach my kids, like this technology is coming, you can't, Bernie Sanders wrong, you can't unplug it and put it back in a bottle. So what I want is people to be able to be able to weigh, regulate it. I think, listen, you're going to have to regulate it, what they're not doing, they're not doing it right now. They've made a choice that they're not going to regulate it all, we will, because something bad will happen, and then people will be pissed and you'll have to regulate it. But my thing is, is that people just need to use it, they need to be aware, because this is a technology that's already seeped into every industry, business, phone screen, home, and music. Music, change things. What do you think? You must have thoughts about this. I mean, yes, they can put out a kid rock song now that's almost indistinguishable. Yeah, and that's to be determined what, you know, who knows where that, where that, you know, eagle lands, I'm not sure, I can, I can show you how the pros do it here and do it. Shameless plug, but also, be very poignant in the terms of AI and music, my new album, it's a song in there called Seven Sins with me in a little Wayne, I wanted to choir on it. I did this, the body this song about three years ago. I heard it, it's great. Yeah. Before AI was even in there, so how I made the choir was, I had my two female singers, one, one male background singer and we kept stacking the part. Switching harmony notes, doing double takes, blah, blah, blah. Whether you like my music or not, I think if you listen to this, you'd say, wow, that choir sounds great. It does sound great. Along on there, heal my faith, which I did with M&M, I, thank you. I sang that hook myself, I did the harmonies myself, my singers weren't around. I'm an impatient guy, it's not about the money of getting a choir, but everything I look in life now is time. How much time do I have? I can save time. So I go into AI, I prop the harmony notes, I prop the lead notes, you know, southern gospel choir, blah, blah, blah. I have to do this several times, I put it together, I'm like, I love that. So, the choir on there is AI. So, we basically, I mean, choirs are a lot of people in a choir and we put the ball out of work. I mean, isn't that really what happened? Did we put them out of work though? Well, yeah, because they don't have to get a choir in there, when the Beatles used a choir, they needed a fucking march. Did we put drummers out of work when the drummers? Yeah. I mean, drummers out of work, we put drummers out of work when a drum machine was invented. Yeah. That's something different, but there's always, you know, I just haven't seen this shit. I always tell people, you know, it's a tool right now. I see the dangers of it. Yeah. 1,000% believe it needs to be regulated at the highest levels. But I tell, you know, my friends, I'm like, hey, you can build a house with a rock, you can pound nails and with a rock, or you can swing that hammer, you know, they got a nail gun now. It could save you some time. So, until something goes on, well, it tells me otherwise, I'm going to use this as a truly bad. The record sounds great. I mean, the lyrics, I don't agree with. But that's okay. I don't have to always agree with the words. It's about Jesus. You know, yeah. Right. And all I could think of was, when the meet comes after that, my sweet Lord, by George Harrison, one of my favorite songs of all time, and I never thought he was my sweet Lord. Hey. All right. Thank you. Thank you. I think I will live in a country where you can have your religious beliefs. Exactly. I mean, on my ex a lot of these countries, you cannot. Exactly. All right. Thank you guys. OK. No, no. Now that Virginia's Terry Ward has been arrested for taping his wife to a chair in the basement. So we could watch the football game in peace. He has to answer the two questions on every married man's mind. One, do you have a GoFundMe? And two, how'd you find the tape without her help? Never all the women who've ever gotten mad at a husband or boyfriend and called him a neanderthal must admit that when they saw this headline, scientists just discovered that neanderthals loved eating beaver. Neural McDonald's must tell us once and for all what's up with the McRib. It comes. It goes. It's in your life. Then it's out. It's the deadbeat dad of sandwiches. And this pisses me off and I would never even eat one. What my friends do and I don't like them being McFuck with. Neural, the nail salon in Portland that was sued for allegedly giving a customer herpes and then sued for the same thing again has to lean into it, especially the again part. Neural heard it gave you herpes and they still came back. P.D.X. nails, a salon so good, it's worth the blisters on your anus. Neural now that the president continues to accuse me of having a laugh machine, it's time my face up, he's right, I do, this is it, this is the laugh machine. By the way, it is state of the art. The technology in this thing is amazing. All I have to do is push this button, let's try it again, thanks a lot Starlink. All right, I'm finally, you rule, this Halloween, could we give the kids a break from a helicopter parenting and accept of safetyism for one god damn day? I recently read that suburbs all over the country are imposing curfews for Halloween night. My home state is one of the worst, South Plainfield, New Jersey says kids can't be in any place after seven. Winslow townships has trick-or-treating exit five, five, sun even dark at five. This is the spooky day, nothing in your yard looks scary during the day. Well maybe a Vivek Ramaswami for Governor Lonson, that's it. And I know, I know, but Bill, why are you even talking about it, you don't have kids, you're right, I don't. The only contact I ever get with kids is when I trip one who's running around in a restaurant. (audience cheering) (audience cheers) No. (audience applauds) No, I don't have 'em, but I used to be one before I grew out of it. And I remember how much I loved Halloween. Oh, the feel of a cheap, shitty, hard, plastic mask on your face. (audience applauds) Held in place with a cheap rubber band that snapped 10 minutes after you left the house. No, I don't have kids, but somehow I still know that unstructured outdoor activity is good. It sparks imagination, teaches problems, solving, promotes face-to-face social interactions, with other human peers. And I know that all children need one 90-year when they can go fucking back shit and do mischief and run wild all over the neighborhood with their friends, raising hell and ping in the bushes because there's no time to stop. No one's giving away candy tomorrow. (audience applauds) I am so grateful I grew up in a time when parents were like, "Go, have your fun, be back by Thanksgiving." (audience applauds) You pick me up some smokes while you're out. (audience laughs) I was raised free range all my life. Every day I'd come home from school, fly up to my room, change clothes, fly out the door. My mother never once said, "Where are you going? Where am I going? Kid stuff." That's it, where am I going? What's it to you? No, Z, bitch. (audience laughs) But Bill, it's not like when we were kids, it's more dangerous now. People put marijuana in the candy. No, they don't. No one's doing that. Right, like I'm gonna give my pricey buddy your dumb ass kid. (audience laughs) (audience applauds) But what about all the crime these days? Well, actually, factually, crime is down. Way down, everywhere. We live in a surveillance state with the tough on crime president now. There aren't even serial killers anymore. There were 866 of them operating in the US in the 1980s. It was terrible. Their victims couldn't escape because it was the 80s and they were on roller skates. (audience laughs) But now there's less than 10 serial killers. You think there's a clown with this dick out lurking in the bushes? (audience laughs) No, the predators are online now. They don't need to rent a white van anymore. They're not hiding in the sewer, waiting to snatch Little Olivia and Noah. No one wants your kids, not even you. (audience laughs) Now, there are, sadly, still child victims of sex abuse, but that's overwhelmingly not from a stranger. 93% know their abuser. Its neighbors, coaches, youth ministers, siblings, uncles, step parents. As they say in scary Halloween movies, the call is coming from inside the house. That's the enormous irony in all this. Parents today believing that outside is the danger zone and inside it's where it's safe. That's completely backwards, witches and goblins aren't real. What's stealing your kids' souls is that little electronic portal of anonymous evil that's glued to their hands. (audience cheers) No one. (audience applauds) No one's putting a razor blade in an apple. The problem is apple the company. (audience laughs) (audience applauds) The problem is a teenage girl sitting alone in her room worrying, a mile loser and the phone telling her, yes, yes you are. Because Jessica's Instagram story shows a party you weren't invited to. Think you're fat. Tumblr's pro anorexia forums will convince you. You are. And ugly? Yeah, that too. I mean, didn't you see Kylie Jenner at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show? Don't you want to look like her? Here's a DIY lip filler kit that only cost $39.95. (audience laughs) And no, of course you're not too young to have plastic surgery. Get some of that. And then you can have an online boyfriend who's definitely not a 45 year old man in Milwaukee. (audience applauds) The CDC says one in five young adults has an anxiety disorder and they didn't get it from too much playing in the park. They got it from being locked in at home under 24 hour surveillance from safety mom. 62% of American children up to age 12 say they've never, never walked or biked anywhere without an adult. 50% of parents won't let their kids go alone to another aisle in the grocery store. Folks, you're shopperoning your kids to death. Having your mommy with you going out with you on Halloween? It's like having your wife at your bachelor party. (audience applauds) Parents in recent years have even started doing something called trunk or treat for Halloween, which is just as fun as it sounds. It's where the adults drive to a parking lot and then park their cars in a circle, you know, in case Indians attack. (audience applauds) And then the kids collect candy from the open trunks of park cars. Because what says fun, more than scooping neckle wafers from a spare tire well? (audience applauds) This all started in church parking lots so the kids would feel safe around clergymen. Yeah, you can't let kids go to strange houses. Oh my God, the people inside could be pedophiles. (audience applauds) For fuck's sake, if this is what it's come to, just move Halloween to Zoom or lock the kids in a safe room and slide the candy under the door. (audience laughs) Or. Or you could just leave Halloween alone. Because if you don't, I'm telling you right now, I'm just gonna put off having a baby. All right, that's our show. I wanna thank Jim Benheye, good luck and Senator Tane Cruz. Club random grubs every Monday and YouTuber. Let's remember to get your podcast. Now go watch overtime on YouTube. Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. All right. (upbeat music) Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10. Or watch him anytime on HBO on demand. For more information, log on to HBO.com.