EP #64- Redefining Self Care with Jen Lauren, Podcast Host and Content Creator

(gentle music) You can't follow someone else's wellness journey. You can't follow someone you look up to and be like, "I'm gonna do everything they do." Because we all have different, not only bodies and minds, but like life experiences and traumas and like different things we need to heal. Like there's just so many factors that go into it. So it's such a personal journey. And I think literally the only way to go on your wellness journey or figure out what makes you feel your best inside and out is to try things out. Welcome back to another episode of Everyday Endorphins. I'm especially excited for this week's interview because this episode is really focused on the importance of understanding that health trends and different things you can do for your health is not a one size fits all and is not a single equation. And I think that a lot of people who are young adults and my generation in particular are being fed images of what it looks like to lead the perfect healthy lifestyle and in reality. There are so many factors that can influence what makes us feel good, how we feel good, and there's so many different things that we can do and that we can do to personalize our own health and wellness journey. It was such a pleasure to have Jen Lauren come onto the podcast this week to talk essentially all about that. Jen is a content creator, YouTuber, influencer in the health and wellness space. She blogs a lot on TikTok and on YouTube about different workout classes that she likes to try throughout New York City. And she is also the host of her own podcast called Dare to Self Care, which aims to redefine what self care means and what it means to take care of yourself. In this episode, we talk all about Jen's passion for health and wellness, her career change, how she was really working in this nine to five and then wanted to pursue entrepreneurship and content creation full time. And we also talk a little bit about the different types of health trends that are portrayed on YouTube and on TikTok and how social media is depicting what it looks like to lead a healthy lifestyle. So it's really interesting to hear Jen's perspective on that, especially as someone who works in content creation. We also chat a little bit about some misconceptions on self care and what you can actually do to take better care of yourself. Super excited for you all to hear this interview. Before we get into it, I have a brief message for my sponsor, Inker. Hi Jen, thanks so much for coming onto the podcast. Hi, thank you for having me. I am so excited to have you on today. And it was so funny how just a week ago, we ran into each other at Mind Body Project, which is actually very fitting because I think that I saw one of your TikToks at Mind Body Project, like, I don't know, a month or two ago. And I could bookmarked it and I was like, I really want to try the studio because I loved how it combines meditation with exercise. And so of course, the first time that I go to the studio to try class, you're there. That's so funny. I mean, I'm not surprised because I definitely go like once a week at this point, but that is very funny. Well, I'd love to start off by having you talk a little bit more about yourself. So where are you from? What do you do now for your full-time job? And how did you get into content creation and your passion for health and wellness? Wow. OK, that's a loaded question. I'll try to keep it short. And then we can get into the details of whichever part you want. But basically, I grew up acting when I was younger, performing arts, all of that kind of stuff. And then when I got to middle school or really high school, I just kind of wanted to fit in. And I just wanted to focus on social life and having friends. And I just really put all of my creative outlets to the back burner. I think just in fear of being judged or just-- I think I got a taste of social life and was like, oh, this is great. I got to dive into this and just focused on that. And then when I went to college, I decided, OK, so maybe we're not doing on-camera work or anything like that anymore. Let's try getting into the behind-the-scenes of entertainment. So I studied communications. I entered the entertainment industry. And I was doing PR for celebrities. So personal PR, which sounds very glamorous, but it was also extremely toxic and extremely time-consuming. And at the same time, I had wanted to start a YouTube channel. So towards the end of college, I think I knew I wanted-- I was just craving after so long of not being creative. I was craving a creative outlet again. I don't even love acting, but I was craving going back to acting class. I was just craving what my childhood self used to love. And I got into the dark hole of YouTube as a viewer. I became obsessed with people like Lauren Elizabeth, who-- she was so funny and herself and fully authentic, yet also talking about panic attacks and anxiety and all of these mental health topics that I was talking about at home, but maybe necessarily not like in my friendship circles. It wasn't really like the trendy topic yet at that time. So I think I just had this epiphany of like, I can get that like on-camera creative side of me out of my system while also like tapping into a greater why and message behind it. I wanted to show my younger self and anyone out there that's like my younger self, that you can put yourself out there and live authentically yourself and take care of yourself. And just like all of these greater messages that I had and was really inspired by. And I was listening to all these podcasts like for a year before even starting my channel. And I kept hearing, find your niche, find your niche. So on the side, my favorite form of self-care is workout classes as we were just talking about. And without getting to nitty-gritty into the background of that, I realized I would look up a workout class on YouTube and no one was talking about it. Like, I loved sweats in the city on Instagram, but I wanted to see inside the workout class, not just a picture. Like, I wanted to see inside the class. And sometimes you could get like a clip of Kelly and Ryan at a workout studio or something, but like, that was it. So I was like, this is it. This is my niche. This is perfect. And it was really time consuming because it's way different than just recording a video in your bedroom. It's like, I was going to the studio recording the class, filming our review. It was a whole thing while I was working crazy hours at my PR job. So I was really only able to do once a month, then the pandemic hit. I fully committed, started doing weekly videos where I was trying out wellness rituals and workouts and just like trying to somehow stay sane in the pandemic while holding myself accountable, reviewing them on YouTube. And somewhere along the line, I also started the podcast and really just a lot. My life has changed from the pandemic in a really great way because I had space and time to tune in to what I really wanted to do. I think the pandemic really created a lot of time in space for people to tap more into their creative side, which is like a really beautiful thing that emerged from, like the chaos since March 2020, to have that time to actually devote your time to what you're passionate about and go off on these creative endeavors and make that big leap of faith to quit your full-time job and pursue content creation full-time. That's a huge transition to make. I want to ask a little bit about how you took that leap of faith and decided that this was the right path for you. Did you experience any self-doubt making that decision, any challenges that arose out of that thought process? And if so, how did you move through that and actually decide this is right for me and this is actually what's going to bring me a lot of joy? Well, yes, I did experience self-doubt and challenges to answer your question. I think for a long time, I knew in my mind, like, end goal after being consistent with my YouTube channel and my podcast for one to three years, depending on which one you're talking about. I knew this is what I want to do. This feels right. I, like, this is my end game. I want to build this community. And we'll see what goes from there, like whatever entrepreneurial endeavors I want to do from there, but I just knew I wanted to build this community through hosting with a message behind it. I was under the impression I had to wait until I either was like on the verge of a mental breakdown or making a bucket of money on social media and gone viral to not work at a corporate job. Because I grew up around a bubble and I think it's really just a societal expectation that if you go to college and you're, I'm grateful I had the opportunity to go to college and then I graduated and I had the connections because of college to network and get a job in the corporate world and then, like, the cycle continues. And I was not exposed to anything different than that, which is why I think these podcasts are so great because we're able to hear stories outside of our own bubbles and find other people to connect with that get it, which really helped me. I was like, listening to, don't keep your day job and all of these podcasts, like, give myself the push I needed. But really, the whisper just got louder and louder. like I really didn't think I would do it any time. anytime soon when I had quit like eight months ago, but I got to a point where I would like sit down to do my to do list in the morning and I would just hysterically cry because I was so burnt out that I couldn't even get to editing my YouTube video at night, which was like the one thing I wanted to do. So it was just like I felt like all of my energy was going towards someone or a company or just something other than what I really wanted. So it started eating away, I mean eating me up inside and my biggest insecurity about leaving was finances. I was like, I don't get finances enough. All I know is I get my paycheck. I'm able to pay for what I need to pay for and then again, the cycle continues. So I don't know anything different and I don't know how to manage my finances. I don't know how much I need. Like I was just in a panic. So my boyfriend sat down with me, we figured out like what dreams of income I could add, like what I could do to make this happen because at this point, it just felt like with my mental health, I just I was like, I was withering away in anxiety and I refused to sacrifice sleep quality time, anything that made me feel good to dedicate to YouTube or to whatever other side hustle or to my job because my message is literally about taking care of yourself. I just felt there had to be another way. Long story short, finally decided I was going to quit and my solution was I was going to work out a workout studio. Obviously that makes a lot less money than a corporate job, but I didn't have to take work home with me. I had more time space and energy to reach out to brand deals. I signed up to be a wag walker like I was committed to just hustling and making it work. I went to quit. Long story short, I was told, you know, you have options. You could freelance. You could stay part time. Let's figure this out. And it was a huge way off my shoulders. It was a nice like, okay, could do this gradually. Now I'm working part time there. I started with a few clients. Now I'm down to one because I just which we can get into. I just juggle so many jobs to the point where there's point where you have to check in with yourself and say, is this working? Am I too overwhelmed and what's the solution? So like one solution for me was, let's go down to one client. So that's where I'm at now with PR. And I also work for a YouTuber and I work at a workout studio and I have my podcast at my YouTube channel and I just found a way which isn't really ever expressed. Like I thought you either had to quit your job or be in a 95 and like that's it. And the something I learned on my podcast when I had the human design expert on was I'm a manifesting generator. So my specific work style, I work in creative spurts. I like change. I change my job every year. I went to a new agency like I just like having a different schedule every day. I prefer to hustle and compartmentalize a bunch of different jobs than staying still and stagnant and something I'm not feeling fulfilled by all day long. So that's where I am now. Well, there's a lot going on. You mentioned a lot of amazing things. You know, one thing that I want to point out is the fact that you mentioned that the change could be gradual. And I think that's really important to think about because I feel like we often are like we're going zero to 100 or 100 to zero. But it's like if you want to make these changes in your life, be them professionally, be them personal changes, it doesn't have to be in all or nothing situation like black or white. Like there is definitely a gray area where you can test the waters and make small changes gradually to then, you know, become the larger change that you want to see. So I really love that you brought that up and I also love that you talked about how you felt really burnt out by the job that you were in because now we know that burnout is an actual term like in the dictionary and it's a very valuable term to learn about because I think especially like in our generation and in the working world in corporate America, a lot of people experience burnout and now it's a conversation that's being talked about and also addressed. Like these are issues and people are now taking steps to address like how do we reduce burnout in the workplace? How do we make work more sustainable for us because I think maybe like in our parents generation or prior to that burnout was synonymous with just like the byproduct of working really hard. And yes, it can be, but it doesn't have to be. So I really love that you were like cognizant of that. You followed that intuition and you identified certain changes that you needed to make in your life to not feel that way and to find more joy and fulfillment in your career. So it's a great message to send and it's really inspiring to me, but pivoting a little bit away from your career path, I want to tap more into the content that you started producing on your YouTube channel. So I love that you were going into workout studios and actually recording the exercises that you were doing. And now you have this podcast around self-care. So I'd love to ask you how your perspective and health and wellness has changed through these creative endeavors, like through your YouTube channel by trying out different workout classes, through the conversations that you host on your podcast, like how has your understanding of health been enriched? I love this question. I think one thing I've learned specifically through the podcast, but also like doing these challenges on YouTube where I tried breath work for 30 days and I tried meditating at 6 a.m. like that's something like physical challenges that I do on YouTube, but then I'm also always looking for new wellness experts to come on my podcast where I discover new forms of mindfulness and new practices and it's just like a never ending revolving door of ways we can take care of ourselves and tap into our highest selves or tap into feeling the healthiest we've ever felt like with gut health. Like there's just so many hormonal imbalances. Like there's so much that goes into it and for me the biggest thing that I've learned is just to try everything and nothing's off limits and even though it's hard for me to meditate, I'll never say like I'm not good at meditating or I hate meditating because I have a well-rounded understanding that it's like anything. It's a muscle and you have to practice and you get more comfortable with it and maybe I don't want to get more comfortable with it and that's one thing. Like for example, running Ethan, my boyfriend always wants me to get into running and I always say like I hate running. He's like you don't try and I'm like you know what you're right. I can do what I've learned through the podcast and everything I've been doing is I can do literally anything I set my mind to. I just don't want to do that. So there's a difference. Big difference. Big difference between what you can do and what you want to do and what you can't do and don't want to do. I think I've actually, I'm remembering I've read that, I'm trying to remember what book that was. Oh Marie Forleo's book, she said like always replace I can't do that with I won't because you can do anything with some sacrifice but if you don't want to that's a different story. So all that to say what I've learned is you just have to try everything because you never know what's going to enhance your life. If I didn't see Wim Hof as a trend after the group documentary and say I'm going to do a 30 day challenge, I think this will do great on YouTube. That was two years ago and I still I did Wim Hof this morning. Like you never know what you're going to try that can change your life. So that's when I'm always trying new workout classes because I see the benefit in each and every single one of them. And then there's also somewhere I'm like no benefit for me like that doesn't work for me. It totally works for someone else. You can't follow someone else's wellness journey. You can't follow someone you look up to and be like I'm going to do everything they do because we all have different not only bodies and minds like life experiences and traumas and like different things we need to heal. It is such a good answer and I'm so glad that you emphasize the importance of keeping an open mind because I think that the way that the wellness industry portrays like self-care and health is quite skewed from what it looks like in practice like implementing health trends or health practices into your life because health is not a one size fits all equation. It's deeply personalized to what you need in that moment. And what your body needs, what your mind needs. And so for example, I love yoga. I went to get my certification last summer. I've been practicing for over a decade. I am a huge yoga fanatic and I could talk about it for hours. But I recognize that what I get out of the practice, not everyone may receive from it. And that's okay. But I would encourage just for people to just keep an open mind and see how yoga may benefit them and with in ways that they may not even know. And I think that sometimes people like your boyfriend, for example, are obsessed with running. I'm not the biggest runner even though I know it does bring the endorphin high and this podcast is all about endorphins. Right. That's the thing. You can recognize the benefits but it's about wanting to put yourself out there to do it because it does take training. It's hard. Exactly. It's difficult. And so, you know, I'm not the biggest runner. I prefer like lower impact exercises but every now and then I do crave a run. Like I do crave going on a jog and it's not going to be this crazy like six mile run where I'm like running eight minute miles. It's going to be like a 20 to 30 minute jog. And to not have to like push myself and like kill myself over a workout I think has been and so crucial because in high school, I was a competitive rower and the entire mindset was around racing and winning and competing and PRing and getting faster and stronger and it's such a rigorous sport that it put a lot of stress on my body and my mind. As much as I love the sport and I try to stay as connected to the rowing community now as I can, I've also redefined my relationship with exercise in a way that doesn't have to be so competitive and strenuous on my body, more for enjoyment. And I love that, you know, through the different workout classes you try, I think you're also kind of experiencing how different types of movement can bring yourself more happiness. Absolutely. And they all bring different things. So I try to just like work from intuition, like, what do I need today? It honestly gets confusing because you hear so many different points of you. You're like, you hear people who ride or die by crossfit and high intensity. And then you hear people who are diehard Pilates, people who are like, that is so bad for your body. Like the strenuous activity. And I'm like, I kind of like both. And I kind of need one on a certain day and one on another. And I was actually talking to my friends in me about this yesterday. Like, there's also with women like hormonal imbalances require you to do different workouts. Like sometimes, you know, a high intensity workout class. If you have PCOS, it's going to make you more inflamed. So you, it really is such a personal experience and I struggle sometimes with hearing like, this is bad for you. This is bad for you. But no one knows what's good or bad for your body. So I try to like, remember that because I feel like just being someone in the fitness industry, I'm hearing different things from different people and it can get very confusing very quickly. But I also did want to mention you, you love yoga, right? Like you ended up getting certified. It's something that brings you so much joy. If you had never tried it because you were too intimidated to walk into that yoga studio, like what a shame you would have never known. Like yoga changed your life. So that's why for me, it was like sweats in the city. I admire them so much. But I was like, I need to see in the studio. Like what are the types of people in there? What's the vibe or the lights low? Am I going to have to look at myself in the mirror? Like those are the things that I wanted to just like see a video of and get like an in-depth review from someone what their experience was like at the class. So that's why I do that. I'm like, I'm trying to give people everything they need to know to feel comfortable to try out a workout class because I know firsthand as to you, it can literally change your life. Yeah, definitely. It's funny that you mentioned yoga because I actually, I can think my mom for that one. I was like nine years old and she started practicing at this studio called Perioda uptown on the east side. And I'm an only child and so I spent a lot of time with my parents growing up just me and them and she would go to these classes and just take me because she didn't want to leave me home alone. And so I was kind of like forced into it. And then I developed this like passion for it. You know, at first I kind of was resistant to yoga because anything, you know, naturally anything that your mom tells you to do, you're like, oh, I don't want to do it. But then I yeah, I you know, I gave that up. I stopped copying an attitude and I really did grow to enjoy it. And it transformed like the meaning of the practice transformed throughout my life. What I love what you're doing with your your YouTube videos is showing that there's so many different options of different types of classes you can do different types of workouts you can do because at the end of the day, I think people want to see people just trying things so they can say, oh, like that looks really fun. Like I'm going to go try that out. Like I think it creates a space where people can kind of like see all the different options that exist out there and like enjoy watching those videos and seeing people have an open mind and I think it's a really infectious energy that carries over to that person and like actually makes them want to participate and keep an open mind as well. Completely. And I think there's a lot of people who still feel that people are lying when they say they're working out for their mental health. Like people who haven't experienced that benefit maybe firsthand or have a, you know, negative relationship to fitness. I think they look at people who say, oh my god, working out as my self-care or I do it for my mental health. And I've heard them like on podcasts be like, yeah, bullshit. Like you're doing it for the body. And I think people like that have not tried enough. They're sticking to like maybe doing the same app at the gym and they're like, this is not fun. But if you keep trying and putting yourself out there, you'll find your thing like there that's why I'm obsessed with workout classes. Although expensive, it's like there are so many boxing dance trampoline. Like there's crazy amounts of different workouts you can do that could end up being so fun for you. Like I genuinely wish I was a dancer because being able to go to a dance studio every week, like how fucking cool is that? To like let out your hobby and also exercise and get your endorphins in that way. And something I'm going to stop doing on YouTube that I did in the pandemic simply for the thumbnail and for the views, which did well. Like my top performing video has this image on the thumbnail. I'm going to stop doing the before and after like bloated stomach to you know, tone stomach. I think at the end of the day, my point that I'm trying to get across is try everything and you'll find, you know, the best way to take care of you and the thing that lights you up and makes you feel good. And it doesn't have to do with your body. And the bonus is your body for sure. Like it's going to come into fruition physically when you're feeling less anxious because for me, I know I'm less bloated when I'm less anxious. Now, I mean, that's like the physical manifestation of anxiety also. Like so it really goes to show how interconnected, you know, those are mind and our body, you know, how interconnected they are. And I love that you also bring that up around like the before and after types of videos because something that I've also seen a lot on YouTube is like the what I eat in a day. And those are like kind of my guilty pleasures because like I just find it fun to watch. But then I've given some thought to it. And I'm like, okay, as fun as it is to watch, like I don't really know if this is necessarily adding a ton of value to my life because what that person's eating in a day could affect me entirely differently from like what I eat in a day. I love that you brought that up because I was talking about this literally two days ago. I have no problem with what I eat in a days because I have a healthy relationship with food. Thank God. Like I know that's actually not even common these days. Most people have some sort of just sort of relationship with food. So for me, when I watch those, I already know, oh, I'm not going to eat exactly what she eats in a day. Like that's not why I'm watching, but I personally watch them for recipe ideas. Like genuinely, that is why I'm watching them. And like I need to spice up my, you know, recipe routine. So I like watching them. However, when I post them, my what I eat in a days are always what I eat in a day with IBS. And the image and the thumbnail is never a picture of my stomach or anything like that. It's, it's I'm trying to make it very clear that like I'm showing you my recipes for when I'm having an IBS flare up and like I need to calm my stomach down and like gut health. And I'm not showing you my stomach in the image. Like it's just a lifestyle video where I think it gets problematic is when people are selling you, you know, the abs, the green juice and all that in the thumbnail. And it's clear like the message is eat this to get these abs and like do this to look like me. That's. So I think it really depends on your approach. I agree. And I'm glad you bring up that distinction because I think in your case, you know, I have a lot of friends that also suffer with IBS or some sort of gut health issue. And it's become even more common in more recent years. And I think those types of videos in particular are really educational because when you feel like you can't digest your food properly or you're constantly bloated and you, you're, your self confidence alone, you're just like not feeling great and you're not digesting properly. You want to turn towards something that's educational that can actually guide you and say, Hey, like these are some recipes you can try if you're suffering from this issue, if you're suffering with IBS or PCOS, we have a hormonal imbalance on, you know, I've struggled with hormonal imbalances and I'm always looking for cool fun recipes that are easy to make that actually can support, you know, naturally balancing out my hormones. And, you know, practices I can do to really bolster my overall health. And so I think when there's like content out there that's educational, that's where the value comes into play. But when there's content out there, that's like, do this to achieve this, which is purely like physical on the outside. Especially if you already have some sort of history with disorder eating or poor self-esteem or body image issues, like that's where it can be really toxic. And that's where I think the wellness industry is going wrong. Right. I'm never trying to make anyone feel badly about themselves. I think when I talk about IBS, it's very relatable. And people are looking for ways to alleviate their stomach pain. And I'm literally talking in the video saying, you know, this might not even help, but it's worth a shot. Like I'm very, I'm just going about it in a very relatable way, which I think is helpful. I rarely do those videos because I don't want to trigger anyone and I really only do them as it pertains to IBS. But yeah, no, I agree. I think the wellness industry, I think the problem is, everyone has a different mindset on what health is, right? So like I think people are understanding more of these days, but people who have a disordered view on food or whatever it might be might think when you're talking about health that you're saying weight loss. So I find it important just within the wellness industry to be really specific these days. Like here is what you should do to achieve you like, I don't know, less anxiety or heal your leaky gut. Like I just think it's important to get specific because it can very easily even just with a thumbnail on a YouTube video, send the wrong message. - Totally. And I'm so glad you bring that up because on this podcast, I'm trying to open up the space to redefine health and wellness through discussing like the nuances behind what it means to live a healthy life and what it means to find happiness and join your day to day life. And something that I try to emphasize is that health is everything, mental health is everything. And achieving the health that you want for your life is not this one size fits all equation, which is why, like your point earlier, it's so important to have an open mind and try as many things as possible, to see what works for you. And with that, I would love to talk a little bit more around the definition of self-care 'cause I know your podcast is all about self-care. And I know we've connected offline about how self-care can be a misleading term. And so I'd love for you to chat a little bit more about your understanding of self-care and how that's shifted as well through the interviews that you hold and the topics that you discuss on your podcast. - Yes, for sure. So that misconception you were talking about, I think the self-care term has become a buzzword and a term, I mean, specifically like the wellness industry, you know, the marketing, people market their face mask and self-care, like it's just become this poster name for, you know, take a bath or have a face mask and it'll fix all your problems. And I don't define self-care as like a quick band-aid fix. I think it's, first of all, doing what lights you up. Like that's my like basic definition personally for it. It's self-care is doing anything that lights you up and makes you feel good. The message that I have behind it is really just taking care of yourself is the most important, especially if you're a people, please there are someone who does tend to take care of other people. I think I came to realize this at the beginning of the pandemic, there were some personal tragedies in my life and I had to move in with my parents at the beginning of the pandemic, which is like not fun for me, especially during a time where everyone's anxious about the pandemic. Like it was just brutal and I'm trying to be there for other people and it got to the point where I was like, I'm being, I'm not capable of being a good friend or a good girlfriend or a good daughter or anything because I'm not okay. And I realized like for the first time in my life, I have to take care of me first. And I have to set boundaries and I can't pick up every single phone call or answer every single text unless I'm feeling okay and ready to. And I think just after having that epiphany, I understood what the meaning of self-care really is. And as we were mentioning before, it's like you have to try out so many different things to see what is self-care for you. Like doing a face mask might not be self-care for you. Cooking, you might hate cooking and that's not self-care for you, but it might be like the most mindful activity to me, which I love it because I'm off my phone. And so it really just opened my eyes to the importance and true meaning behind self-care outside of like the marketing term and the buzzword of self-care. And that is why I started everything I started because I think it's really hard to figure out, but what do I need to do? Like okay, I have to take care of myself. Okay, self-care is good, but like what does that look like for me individually? And I think what's a harder thing to figure out than you realize? And so you tend to just abandon any form of self-care or mindfulness because you don't really know where to start. And so that's what I hope with my podcast and trying things out for you on my YouTube channel is that you hear something and that thing inspires you, which it might not have inspired anyone else, but that one thing sounds interesting to you. You go try it, it could change your life or you cross it off your list. And now you just like have a base point and you know what you did like about it, what you don't and you go from there. Yeah, I mean, I think self-care is definitely seen as this buzzword and we'll say, oh yeah, like I'm doing a self-care day or I think people like are now starting to use it really loosely as a way to like make excuses. Like, oh, it's like self-care for me. But when you think about it, like every day you should be self-care. Like every day you should do something to take care of yourself. And to your point earlier, you can't show up for others unless you show up for yourself first. Like you are incapable of providing, you know, some sort of support or being a resource to someone or being a good friend or just being there for other people helping to uplift them, helping them to, you know, realize their goals and their potential if like you can't be there for yourself first. And it's difficult because we always talk about how we need to take care of ourselves and we need to have self-care and then we're like, at the end of the day, it's like, well, what does that look like in practice? Like how do I actually take care of myself beyond getting a good night's rest? Which is, first of all, incredibly important 'cause sleep is a very restorative process. But besides doing that and like making sure we're, you know, properly fueling our bodies with good food and getting in some movement and getting those endorphins in like what else is self-care? - Yeah, and I've seen firsthand the difference between how I affect people around me since I've started being more spiritual, being more mindful, taking care of myself in a more intentional way and prioritizing self-care. I have seen how I'm a light for some people in their life when I've, you know, when I'm having a great day and I've done all the things I need to do and then I go over to their apartment or whatever. It's like, you can tell it like they feel calmed or inspired or whatever it might be by your presence because you're inspiring because you feel good and you can spread that positive energy and then they feel inspired and have positive energy and like it goes on and on. And I think self-care also works. So like therapy, for example, especially your first time or first session with a new therapist, you have to tell your whole life story, it can be hard. Some therapy sessions are hard, they're not fun. A lot of the times they're great and cathartic, but sometimes, you know, it's work or you're not in the mood. So that's just one example of, it's not always gonna look like, you know, a pretty thing with a bow on it. It's not always gonna look like a green juice. It might be some true healing that takes real work, but the point is you have tools in your toolbox, right? So like I am honestly been having a really rough few days. I have no idea why I'm not getting my period, but I feel hormonal, I feel irritable. I'm starting to like have imposter syndrome creep in, which is not like me at all. And I know, like I have things to grab for rights. Like I know I have therapy tomorrow, it's all I'm thinking about. I'm like I have my appointment in place. I know I need to journal on this tonight 'cause I have no idea what's really going on up there. And I feel like if I, I know that when I journal, I always figure it out. So it's like I meditated and did Wim Hof this morning. And I do all these things definitely more when I'm feeling anxious and need it, but knowing that I have these tools to grab from is life changing because I can't imagine before this. I would have just been anxious and probably cried and dealt with in a really unhealthy way. - Yeah, I think the first step is knowing that you have something to grab onto. Like it can feel crippling to like not know that you even have a tool kit in your toolbox to go to. And naturally I think we'll gravitate towards these practices in times of distress and anxiety because then we really feel like we need them. Like it can feel really easy to be like, oh I don't need to meditate today. Like yeah, I woke up and things are great actually. Like if, but you have to maintain these practices so that you can kind of strengthen them so that when you are facing times of stress, like you know the past few days that you've been going through, it's that much easier to grab onto them and to actually have them provide value. And earlier you'd mentioned, you know, not all self-care is gonna be easy. Like therapy can actually be really difficult and it's not always gonna be like you reach for a green juice and you feel like you're putting more vitamins and nutrients into your body. But I would argue that like the true self-care really is in the hard work. You know, in the healing and of course like having a smoothie or doing a face mask, like those other things like, of course can make you feel good and they're fun to do. But I think the true self-care is like peeling back those layers and getting beneath the surface and recognizing, you know, why, you know, you're behaving a certain way in a certain experience or like what's kind of informed your perspective on a certain moment or at, you know, the world at large or you know how you build your beliefs because I think when you can kind of start to tap into that and recognize patterns of thought, patterns of behavior. I mean, it's all based in psychology which is really fascinating because for me in particular 'cause part of my studies and undergrad was in psychology and neuroscience and philosophy. So, you know, when I think about these things, it feels like that's really like the self-care. And I totally feel like I feel you on the whole imposter syndrome thing. Like, you know, recently I was having a battle with that as well like I was starting to feel really stressed about by podcast and, you know, just getting content out and wanting to grow it and not really knowing what I was doing and when you really start to have those beliefs and then latch onto them, it can feel horrible and it can feel like you can't even be motivated to do what you want to do. And I think it's also important to recognize specifically with imposter syndrome that it's something that everyone experiences and like, just because you have that feeling doesn't mean it's actually true. Yeah, and it's it's actually something that I never even, I mean, of course it creeps in here and there, but I've been really good about, you know, confidence. And ever since I started my YouTube channel and had the confidence to put myself out there and stay consistent, even like, it is really hard with zero subscribers, like starting from scratch with anything, a podcast, anything to do it with confidence and like keep going even though the more people find it, the more they're going to see, shouldn't have any followers yet. Like you fear that judgment, right? So being able to stay consistent through all that and keep promises to myself has built confidence. So I've been such a confident person and I don't get an imposter syndrome because I know that everyone started here at some point. Like I know that it takes years and years to build a community. So like I'm very aware of that. However, I think I don't know what it is, but I think just once in a while, and when you feel stagnant or like there's no progress or again, I have to journal on it. I have no idea what's going on, but it randomly creeps in when you're not feeling like there's a huge win, I guess. Like maybe things just feel stagnant and you just start getting in your head or like maybe things get still and you're not hustling crazy hours. So you have more time to like think about what you're doing or maybe someone else pops up on your social media and they grew way quicker than you or whatever it is. It comes up and I think it's important. It's exactly what you were just saying before itself awareness. So being aware of the thoughts that are coming up in your head and challenging them, which is for me, other than therapy, I need to do that through journaling because I need to challenge my thoughts, peel back the layer, see where they're coming from, figure out the root of it. And then once I'm like aware of what's going on, aware of the thought, completely understand what's going on, I'm usually like able to move on. But without those practices in place, you can't really figure out what's going on exactly because you can feel like, oh my God, all these thoughts are coming up and then you can like attach emotion to them. But I think that's why mindfulness is so important because the whole practice, as you know, is that you see the thoughts passed by and you don't attach onto them. Like you don't judge it. You just let them come in and come out and just, oh, you know, you observe them. Just being an observation, like basically a third party to yourself. And I think it helps to detach from the judgments that we prescribe onto our thoughts and our emotions. And instead of just letting them be and, you know, just letting them pass, we like latch onto them and then we create narratives about how these thoughts are reflection of ourselves. And if we could just really take that step back and recognize, you know, them pass by and then you can, you know, once you have that awareness, you can peel back the layers and really understand like where the thoughts are coming from and then address the root cause, which in theory should hopefully solve the problem. That's really like where the magic happens and it's definitely so much easier said than done. But like we've been talking about, it's really this consistent, you know, just maintenance, like you're maintaining your health and your wellbeing. And there are small things you can do every day to celebrate the small wins, even if it feels like things are pretty stagnant. And that's kind of leading you to those feelings of imposter syndrome. You can still celebrate the small wins that you've had up until the present day and recognize like, wow, like I've really done a lot and that's something to be celebrated for. And you know, I'm still young and there's still so much I can accomplish. I think putting that into perspective as well is super important. 100% I was talking to my boyfriend about that last night how I love seeing people over the age of 30, like just accomplishing what they've always wanted to do or just getting their dream job cause I'm like, we've got so much pressure on ourselves cause now it is like 14 year olds are like the biggest celebrity is it like the biggest entrepreneur. So it's crazy because we're capable of so much, which is amazing. But we're also capable of comparing ourselves to unrealistic standards, unrealistic expectations. And so it is, I honestly find it really comforting when they see someone older like accomplishing something I want to accomplish. I'm like, oh, I have 10 years to get to that point. But exactly what you said, you can always get there. And what you said was really eye opening for me and helpful in terms of like, I agree with you that there's like yourself and then there's your thoughts. And I think a good exercise to do is like, okay, what are my thoughts? Like separate for me. Let's write down all of my thoughts. Now like who am I at my core and like get into that and you'll see like your thoughts and who you really are. They're so different. And they're so separate and you really come back to that idea, which is definitely like getting into more spiritual talk. But like there's you, there's your ego like we could get into all of that. But I think that's super helpful just to not attach yourself to those thoughts. And when you recognize that you are not your thoughts, and then you can like feel better about yourself because if you have thoughts that you're not super happy about, you can be like, okay, yeah, that's not me. Like those are just my thoughts and you can control what pops into your head, but you can control how you react to what pops in. And it's funny that we're talking about this because I recently started a dream journal because I'm doing this dreams course with someone who's kind of helping me along this process. And it's a 10 week course and I meet with this guy once a week for an hour and we talk, you know, I just started. So I don't really know what's going to happen in these next 10 weeks. But I just think that the process of like starting to record my dreams and try to think about like remembering what actually, like what I was actually dreaming about will be really interesting because I think dreams are like a manifestation in a different way of like our thoughts or subconscious. And it can just be I think another way to better understand yourself or maybe like things in your life that are really important to you that you don't really recognize as being super valuable until you realize that you're having these dreams about it. So it's just funny that we're talking about thoughts because I think dreams are like this other form of that as well and it can be used as a tool for greater self discovery and growth. Yeah, I'm very interested to hear about that course. That sounds cool. Yeah, I'll keep you updated. I'll let you know how it goes and maybe you'll want to try it out too and you can blog about it as well because I think these are all just different ways. I think they've just gaining more self awareness and reflection and using it as a way to kind of move you onto that next phase of your life. And you know, back to what we were talking about earlier and really the entire theme of this interview is just the fact that health is broad. It's a general. There are a million different things you can do and like you might as well just personalize it the best you can so that you can feel your best and get those endorphins and feel like a greater sense of self and well-being. So you know, recognizing that you can get endorphins from so many different things I think is really valuable and going off of that, my last question to you is around endorphins and happiness really ties into the theme of this podcast. What is something that brings you a bit of endorphins every day? Work out classes. We all knew that was going to be my answer. Well, okay, any particular workout classes that you love. I know you love my body project, but what are some other good recommendations for my listeners that are based in New York? Like what are some cool studios that you've loved that you think people should go try out? One that really stands out to me as being just so different and incredible for my mental health, which I have a feeling you love too, is Y7. I am a Y7 fanatic since like my sophomore year of high school because the way they first like marketed it was like hip hop yoga. And I was like, oh, that's really cool. So I went to a studio, completely pitch black, candlelit, they were playing like such great music. Like I love rap. So I was like, okay, this is great. Like I am like flowing along to this. And yeah, Y7, yes, great studio. And I've listened to every podcast episode that the founder Sarah has ever been on and I've been manifesting her coming on mine for since I started two years ago. And she's finally coming on my podcast. So I'm so excited. Like fan girl moment. Her whole point behind it is like she never really felt comfortable in yoga studios. They were so intimidating. So she created this welcoming environment and you can tell in every single class you're in, they're like flow on your own, do whatever the hell you want. Like do a child's pose, do crunches. Like I love that they give you the opportunity to not follow their lead ever. Like, you know, there's the three flows on the third one. Sometimes I don't want to do the flow. Exactly. And I have, I feel no, like no one's watching me. I can just like do crunches and Pilates. I can do a child's pose. I can nap. Like there's literally no judgment in that place. It's pitch black. There's no mirrors. There's candles. Like it's just, it's mindfulness at its core. Like doing exactly what your intuition wants you to do. And I always do it at night, not only because it's not yoga and it's like annoying to shower after. But I'm a morning person when it comes to working out. It's something about Y7 other than having to shower after because it's very sweaty. It's just like it's dark. It's candle lit. Like I love closing out my night like that. The next time you go at night, let me know because I would love to join you with a Y7 class. You know, I am a morning person also. And normally I like to kind of start my mornings with a workout, whether it be a yoga class or Plenty. or whatever it is, but there is a lot of value and kind of like winding down the night with a really nice flow and like sweating everything out. It just I think what you want in that day. So you gotta tap into that intuition and think about like what do you need out of that practice and in that moment and what time works best for you to work out that day. So I can totally see the value and kind of closing out the day or the work week with a wonderful Y7 class. I can't wait to listen to that episode with the founder. I am fan girling for you, but thank you so much Jen. It's been such a pleasure having you as a guest. Where can my listeners find you on social media? Well, thank you. So everything all of the links possible are in my bio and Instagram. Jen underscore Lauren with two ends. My YouTube channel is Jen Lauren. My podcast is called Dare to Self Care. If you want to hear some little bite-sized clips to see if it's a podcast you want to listen to, you can head over to the Instagram Dare to Self Care pot. I have a bunch of clips and videos down there from the podcast. And everything's also on Jen Lauren Media.com but really all my links are on my Instagram bio. So just go there. Wonderful. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you for listening and remember to like, rate, and review this podcast on whichever listening platform you prefer. Don't forget to keep spreading in Dorfins and find things that bring you in Dorfins every day. See you next time.