Ep 621 - Landlubbers

- Wow. - Wow, wow, Wes. - Hello. - Hey. - Hello. - Come and be live on a Brighton Beautiful Thursday. - Wow, it's Thursday. - Thursday. Thursday might be my favorite new favorite day of the week. - Really? - Yeah, what's that about? - I love the week. - Just getting ready for the weekend. - Here's the thing, reverse. I love the-- - Reverse, reverse. - Reverse. The week is my new, that's the week's my shit. - Yeah. - The weekend is like, it's cool. - 'Cause you're working on a weekend. - I'm working on a weekend, exactly. - The week. - You weigh off in the deep end. - I am, man. I have my nice little routine all week, Monday through Friday. My routine, if you could just trap me in glass and let me do my routine every day, put me in the zoo. I'm fine. - I'm so excited about my routine. As soon as I woke up today, drove to Starbucks, hit the Xbox, perfect, perfect. - I'm back. - Keep an eye, see if the runs are back. - I don't know if they are. - Oh no, really? - Got in late last night. I don't know if the runs are back. God knows what the mayor's done. He probably ate them. - He fried them up. - That fucking dickhead. I don't know if he'd fry him, man. I'm not. (laughing) - He's sneaking guys in for a bird fry. - Yes. (laughing) - There's a bird fry to people here. - You gotta look out for little signs of people's laws. Might be advertising bird fry. (laughing) - I don't think he knew I was coming home. Doors locked. He parked me in, and he was in Virginia. - Dang. - Is he still in V.A? - I think he's down Virginia way. - I don't know what the fucking dick. - Yeah. - He parked you. Where is his key? - He parked me in his keys. - 100 pounds. - I don't know why. - Coming close. - Oh. - Yeah. - That was at a lady's house. - Oh no, so you had to do. Sir, your routine got disturbed. You had to go now run unnecessary errands, dude. - Yes. - I'm level 10 angry. As soon as an unnecessary errand disturbed the sanctity of my routine, I am fucking with it. - Try to find my game of chairs. Back at his desk, every monitor on game paused. - Yo. - Guy, I'll leave for a week. Just leave it on. - That is tight, though, on his tour. He can hold down. I paused my game for this, though. - He did pause his game for this. - He paused his game. Pause your game and leaving for five days. It's crazy. That gets an intent. That's all the resume, dude. It'll go back. - I know. - He's just a dickhead. (laughing) - Christ. - He paused his game for this. That's crazy. - Five day pause. It was probably for real, like $19 in electricity. - Yeah. - Just to hold this game. - There's seven, he's got monitors. There's like three computer towers. I walk back there. I am a dad when I walk back there. I'm furious. I walk back and get caught. Damn, look at all this shit. Electricity builds going through the walking roof. (laughing) If the internet slowed all I blame him, everything. - I remember my parents would bug on the electricity. It was like once and quarter they would nickel. - They fucking, they pasted it to the wall at the time. I remember being like, I don't give a fuck. Why are you acting like I care? I remember it was on the wall near the basement steps. Like, you know what, you're not the basement lights. - You're just gonna fall off. - Yeah, just electricity bill. I was like, oh, okay. Just 12 being like, whoa, holy shit. I should probably think about this. - Yeah, I thought it was a massive charge. It's not. - No. - That's for real, gotta be $1 a month. But it does piss you off when you go, turn the fucking video game off. - I know, that's crazy. - But you could actually save back then, dude. - You had to leave it on. - Yeah, he's running old programs. - You had everybody was pausing the game for this back in the day. - It's true. - You couldn't save, dude. - Who had a memory card? - I know. And then there's someone racing your game off the memory card, but their game, that's should be up there with treason. - That is treasonous. - It's crazy. - That's treasonous. - I'm telling you, it happened to me. Still to this day, it's why I don't really play video games like that. Red Dead Redemption, it was a week of hard work, eight hour days. Someone erased my shit off my brother's video game. I remember coming, checking, and being like, - Yeah. - And just being sad for like three days, and being like, I'm never opening myself up to that possibility ever again. - Yeah. - You have to shield yourself. - Dude, 10% into Red Dead Redemption, the race, that's fucking seven hours. - Yeah, so this yesterday I just got back from Nashville. I went down there to, they didn't use. It was very nice. - It's awesome. - I was gonna take my nephew down to Texas' Little Kids camp, but then Kittle was like, he can run routes with us and work out. It was, it's awesome. It was wonderful. The man was out, it took Phil and the man to Nashville. - To the tight end university. - And, yeah, it was, but yesterday was the best part. 'Cause we, I flew back to Texas. They flew back to Harrisburg. They're flight got delayed in Chicago. About five hours, six hours, Phil and Ant-Man did. He's 70, Ant-Man, seven. - First off, I haven't hung out with a fucking seven-year-old. I didn't know they didn't shut the fuck up for one minute. - He's seven now? - Yeah. - Yeah, dude. - Seven and a half. - Sure, yeah, you gotta check that. - But bro, they don't, they don't shut the fuck up. - No. - I had headphones in, and he just sits across from me, just talking to me. - What was he drawing on about? - He can't believe I'm famous. It's all he talks about. And now that I'm friends with Cody Woods, he loves Cody Woods. (laughing) - Can I pick one thing? - Cody Woods. (laughing) And all day he just goes, Uncle Shane, what do you think Cody Woods is doing? Oh my God, I don't know. He goes, "Have you met Sammy Zayn?" I'm like, "How the fuck are you?" I don't know. He said, "Have you met the, who's, who's brother, who's those?" I'm like, "I think I have." What do they say? I don't know, they said, "Hi." - You should be able to talk about you, man. - I do say that, and that's the biggest mistake. I've made that. He's like, "Did they really? What do they say about me?" When are they gonna talk about me? What do they say about me? He doesn't shut the fuck up. And I was like, "Ant, talk to Phil." And my dad was like, "Don't fucking have him talk to me." You guys, "Ant, ask him about the wrestlers." That's fucking 12 hours. - He's just punishing you at the end of the day with nonstop, dude. - Yeah, they won't stop. They won't stop fucking talking. I had a fucking, I had a call down my ass. She was like, "Yeah, I'm six and a half, right?" I'm like, bro, you're not even fucking close to six and a half. Don't, don't come at me like that. You're maybe six and a quarter, not even. - Definitely not six and a half. - You're a couple of months shy of six and a quarter. Don't, don't be, actually. - I've actually had that argument with the girlfriend. (laughing) - Yeah, I'm six and a half, right? - You're not even close to six and a half. (laughing) - You're three, dude. (laughing) A couple of years ago, I told the story about how I once spent my last $9 on a Bud Light during an Eagles game at the link. I really did, I was sitting up there. I went with Big J and Soda. - Oh, yeah, as well. - And I just went with J's family and the upper decks. (laughing) I had $9 in my card, I think I got one Bud Light. - Hmm. - Anyway, my friends at Bud Light found the clip. And since then, we've been working on a way to bring the story full circle when I perform at the link. After the show, fans 21 and over, it can visit participating bars and Philly for a Bud Light on us. Fans can visit bars in Packer Park, South Philly, Logan Square, Spring Garden, and Center City after the show for a Bud Light on us. Re-bud Light, dude. That's it. - Nice. (dinging) - Yeah, but just those two, those two fill an A man together, is the funniest combo. Phil takes me to a bar. A man just sits next to a woman and asks, I mean, a man's going through exactly what I went through. And then I did it to A man. I took an ant to the bar and maybe he just watched me drink. And I was like, "We're going to stay till the end of this game." All right. Half time, he was like, "Okay, can we please leave?" And I'm like, "Aint, just drink the Shirley Temple." Shut up. (laughing) I let him run around the bars. - That's nice. - Don't even watch him. - No. - Throwing shit, he was there to pop a shot. He was just fucking launching balls around him. - Yeah, he eventually you give up and just let your kids just run around. You're like, I can't possibly dedicate every single brain self every second. - Somebody takes him. I'll be in my lead, Liam Neeson shit. - True. - I'll get him back. - You will. - They'll only be taking for a little bit. - Yeah, okay. - Yeah, I mean, it's also, yeah, I get it. There's a lot of amber alerts down here. - It's just, it's the every five fuckers. - The lads are, the lads are the amber alert. Left and right, dude. Fools, bro. Fools go wild with the amber alert. Dude, for real, so many amber alerts. - Come on, so do you say amber and fucking, I know it's a name, but it's also a color. - Amber, I wonder how you do say amber. Embeddle. - It's good guess. - Yellow. Kind of like yellow, but for fuck's sake. - I'm bar. - I'm bar. - Damn, the armbars. - The armbar alert. - The armbar alert. - The armbar alert. - Yeah, dude, I wonder what, what's up with the fucking, the things? - Fools go wild. Really hot potato with the ninos, dude. - It's crazy. - It's a real hot potato. - They do, also, it's like three cities. Everybody in Houston takes them headed down, staying in tone, where they just fucking bounce around that triangle. - You got my ninos in no fucking. - Silver ninos on this. - I think that's what, you ever see the spikes that come out of the rims? That's probably protect, yeah, if you'll try the armbar. - Yeah, if you'll try to take your ninos in Houston, you're like, "No, no, you can get close to me." (laughing) - Yeah, the food's fucking hot potato, the ninos. Does that say we fucking 10 minutes seconds? (laughing) Yeah, they're just fucking. I mean, ladies and gentlemen, a fool has been taken. Everybody be on fucking guard. There's a fool on the loose. (laughing) Very hard breaks down. Never seen that many fucking hammer alerts everywhere. Anywhere, I have heard abductions big here though. Yeah, so you know what we're talking we can tell, dude. It's not the top. Well, it's also like, dude, like think about it. If you're in the business of snagging kids and forcing them into whatever kind of slavery you want, you're right at the finish line here. Three hour drive, you get the bag. Do you know how fucking easy it is to say you kid? You just said so yourself. If you, I'm like, this is where you want to do it. I'm saying I wouldn't, I think it's terrible. Obviously. But this is, you're right next to the fucking finish line. You snagged a kid in New York. How you gonna can it away? - Akaramba. - Akaramba for sure. - Good luck. But yeah, it's, dude, I, it's, I'm telling you, all the moms I talked to were always like, I swear someone was watching me. They chucked my tires in the parking lot. - Yeah, we've talked. I don't, yeah. I'm ready. I stay ready. I said, let it happen. It's one of my, it's one of my many fantasies. - I can't wait to answer the phone and go, who is this? (laughing) - I'm talking about stopping in progress. - I'm talking about fucking Nenia. - Hold on, let me sound the authorities. (laughing) - Every single person just goes. - God. - Jesus Christ. - What is it gonna rain? Oh, a fucking kid. - Yeah, oh, great. - Jesus Christ, that is so loud. - Where they go? There's a flood, 400 miles away. (laughing) Yeah, okay. - Which actually is stopping five ambulance alerts. - Yeah. - Temporarily, so. - A flood here that took those bombs. (laughing) - But the bombs got, they had a couple of bombs got a fucking name. - No. - Yeah, there was a, like last year. - What, they fell in a couple of, there was a flood here. There was someone came on with me. - It says. - But, but some of the bombs fell into a lava river. - In Austin. - I think a lazy river took some bombs. (laughing) - I think there's a flash, lazy, right? There's a flash, lazy river warning. Some of the bombs didn't get the alert. (laughing) - No. - Just while it's sleep, just. - No. - That's not fun. - It's not fun. - I think there is something about. - Fucking hilarious. (laughing) - Fucking wasted and waking up in a river. (laughing) - Fucking shit. (laughing) - I swear there's a man. - Oh, having the water creep up on the bombs is good. (laughing) I didn't hear about that. - Some of the bombs, I hope the bomb survived, but. - Yeah, true, you need to get the bombs. - I think I heard that, yeah. - Yeah, the show Creek flooded in about a year ago. - Mm-hmm. - Four individuals experiencing homelessness were caught in the Danish, dangerous drainage culvert. - Oh! - So they got caught up in the, - Oh, they made it. - And it was a lazy river. - It was like Pennywise. - Did they make it? - Um, two were rescued, but a man and a woman. - Damn, one turn into an injured turtle. (laughing) - They found two of them. - Oh, man and a man and a woman. - It's not as they try. - I'm just trying to, just finding silver lining. - Because it is a tragedy. - That is sad. - You like to imagine their lovers maybe, - Perhaps, yeah. - Like in Pompeii or whatever. - Yeah. - They died in the flood, yeah. Unfortunately, tragic. - Okay. - Well. - These are bees. - These are bees. - These are bees. (laughing) - They said, oh, man, that's sorry dude. The fact that it was fucking, I was like getting sucked into the sewer. (laughing) - Just being homeless be like, fucking life can't get it. Anywhere. (laughing) - Oh shit, I'm getting flushed down the toilet. (laughing) - I'm getting, literally. - It's fucking crazy. - He says it. (laughing) - Oh, fuck, it is, it is funny though. It's like, there is, you do, you are. You can be like, I can't handle this. I don't wanna have anything to do with society, but it's like, you have to at least stay out of the waste management, like the water management system. Like, at least get away from the stormwater drains. You know what I mean? It's everyone's responsibility to just watch out for the stormwater, man. Don't be in like one of the channels. I can lead you down the sewer. Like you gotta do that, at least. (laughing) It's less than on personal responsibility. (laughing) But it's sad. (laughing) It sucks, dude. Anyway. Oh. (laughing) It's not been fucking. (laughing) It's not good. Oh, but yes, for sure. So I'm gonna get flushed down. (laughing) - Day, day, day. It wasn't been fucking hilarious. It must have been like screaming at somebody on the street. Fuck you, bitch. (laughing) Fuck you, bitch. And that was just, ah, shit. You're making fun of me for having an Idaho Wednesday the other day. (laughing) That was kill me. I was like, yeah, you had a full fucking bomb day. - Fell off my fucking dirt bike, dude. Right down to the white meat. Still, that was a week ago. - It's nasty. - Fell off my fucking bike. I chased my dogs here. (laughing) - He tried to talk to, yeah. Explain what happened, unless you already have. I talked about it last week, but it was full fucking bomb day. - It was a, dude, I didn't, I can't believe it. - You thought you didn't rain, dude. (laughing) - I was primed up. (laughing) - I actually was riding my bike along the covert, too. That could have gotten bad. At least that fucking bastard dog would have came with me. I would have fucking pulled him down. Like, you'll betrayed me. I thought for sure, the guy seemed friendly. I'm like, here we go. I'm gonna flex with my-- - Yeah, just wild pimples. - Just a couple wild pimples out there. And I was like, hey, come on. - It was just before after you fell off your bike. - After. - So you're bleeding. - Bleeding. - You got, it's time for me to tame some wild pimples. - Bleeding, did get my pump. I did get my pump, though. - After the bleeding? - A bloody pump. - Bloody pump. - You know, I like that. (laughing) - I'm not afraid to do that. (laughing) - I got a bloody pump. And then I didn't go to the cold plunge. That would have been very dazzling. - It would have been very mean. - Yeah, I was like, not doing that. So that was, I was, you know, also, too. I was like, I don't want to track any sharks. - Should I? - The girls do that. - I thought about it, dude. I was wondering that-- - On the period. - Just getting the public gyms fucking, yeah. - I was wondering about that the other day. If they do that. I think they definitely swim. - They definitely do. - They definitely swim with their periods. That's, you know, thought about that. The, (laughing) - Maybe some sort of check in the public pool, but the little checkpoint. (laughing) - Yeah, you just got, you being fucking mean to everybody. - True. - You know, it's really the, dude, I'm telling you, it's really the week before. - Yeah. - That's when, oh boy. - Manie, manie, manie, manie, before that. It's right before the period. Then the period, they're just like, (laughing) - With a wig. (laughing) - Yeah, a wig leading off, you know what I'm saying? - Oh fuck. - It's the week when-- - And every time it surprises me. - Mm-hmm. - And then there's always a moment, I go, oh. - Yeah. - That's what this is. - Yep. And then, you know, you're faced with the weird task where you have to be like, "You're in like a different dimension "and I can't go into this dimension with you." - It's normal. It's like, "You love when I play Xbox all day." (laughing) "You love what I don't take you out on days." (laughing) He loved it. I never left the house and drank it. (laughing) - Hit the date night yesterday, actually. - All right, so where'd you go? - Very hot date. Pacina. - Pacina. - Pacina. - Did you get any? - Yeah, I didn't think any Pacina, actually. Now you say that. - What we did-- - Must've been a good date that you grabbed hard. - We grabbed hard. - Rough and worse than a fucking girl date. - Grubbed very hard. - It's time to try to reproduce. - Yeah, it was, I was-- - I'm in no condition to mate. I was not-- - I'm gonna fart. - I've been farty late. I've been so farty lately, dude. I've been-- - Farty me. - So I've, for real, have been so farty. It's farty next door. (laughing) - Well, I've been so farty. - Dude, I've been going ham on protein powder and I'm farting so much. - I've been farting so much. - And I choose the part. - I've been around when Rokie's fart. - That's crazy. - I've pinned down the culprit. I'm like, oh, it's definitely four scoops of protein powder a day. And guess what, I won't stop. It's just, I've just become fart, so I'm-- - Are you, are you still a cheese? - You mean little dairy? - Hitin' the cheese. - You hate a little cheese? - Cheese and protein. - Yesterday, yeah, I had a little time. - Cheese and protein combination. I'm trying, I'm waiting for my body. I just get on board with the shit. It's like, come on guys, we could be so powerful if we just kind of just-- - I think it makes it more powerful. - I think so, but dude. - Dude, it's even cheese for it. - I have 'em, it's crazy. I ricotta cheese isn't as bad, but yeah, if I have some shredded moths, oh my God, oh my God, some cheddar. And I do it, I know what's coming. I go, it's gonna be bad, but I'm gonna do it. So, yeah, the other day I was eating a burger. I said, oh, that's cheese on it. She's like, just eat it. I looked at her and said, all right. - You made your bed. - You said it. - Now fart in it. - You said it. (laughing) - I sent her a thing on Instagram recently. I saw this cartoon, like an explainer video saying in medieval times, I don't know if it's true, but they said women would fart around guys to let them know like they liked 'em. It showed that a woman was like relaxing the strict kind of like-- - I think that. - It kind of holds up. - Yeah. was, you know, I said it to her just, I don't even know why I just like fired it off to. You like that, yawn? That quality, yawn? I really liked that. I did some research on yawn last night on yawning. What happened? Well, I was watching a show or, no, I was reading. Try it, so hard not to go to the next one. I was reading and I said yawn. And I yawned immediately. Yeah. That's you just, if you read about yawns, you yawn. Yeah. And I wanted to figure out what's going on there and nobody knows. What? No one really knows. That's fucked up. Yeah. You can tell you just, it's just a weird thing, yeah. Yeah, it is. It's an animal. Animals do it, too. You know, fucking yawning together. You fucking, what are ya? Yeah, everyone's yawning. Everyone listening to this is yawning now. Fuck. Dude. Fuck you and yawn. And then, you can yawn from animals, you can see an animal yawn and then you fucking yawn. My dogs get me for sure. It's hilarious. Yeah, it's really cool. You can make your dog yawn. Hold on, so there's no fucking way. I'll tell you about it, because there's no real, uh, I thought there's one of those things that could claim like mirror neurons or some fucking bullshit. What the, what even is that though? Exactly. They don't really know. Mirror neurons are the things that make you, mirror neurons. They make you copy people's face. Yeah. When you observe someone yawning, these specific brain cells fire, mirroring the other person's physical action and helping you subconsciously empathize with their state. Social bonding is nice. Cool. Yawning is highly social, you are significantly more likely to catch a yawn from a close friend or family member than from a stranger, as it acts as a subtle display of empathy and connection. Sounds fucking lame to me. I don't believe that. I'm so embarrassed, I yawn twice. That's how much you like me. Group vigilance. Some evolutionary theories suggest contagious yawning synchronizes the wakefulness and alertness of a group. If one person is feeling drowsy and yawns, the contagiousness spreads subtly increasing the brain arousal and vigilance of the entire group to compensate. Yo. But no one really knows. But if you go to the yawns Wikipedia page, there's a nice picture of a koala yawning. I like that. That was a big fan of that. That was also the pool. So you hit me with a koala yawning. I said, oh, last night. That was great. It was light and big. It was a great picture. That is great. Take a look at it. Yawn Wikipedia. That is really good. I want to watch compilations of animals yawning. I think that'd be nice. You can see it. You can see it. Reptiles yawning. That's fine. You ever see a snake yawning? No. It's pretty fun. I've got a snake in my yard right now. Yes. Real. What kind of snake is it? It's either a ribbon or a gardener snake. Pro was pretty pumped to see. I saw it back there the other day and it was like, it was going pretty nuts. Nice. So yeah, I learned too because I was like, fuck, what kind of like, hopefully it's not a poison to snake. It's not. I think it's, is it a red on black friend of Jack yellow on something kills you. So I forget. There's a cool thing. I was just trying to see if these guys were looking at the quality on it. Were they really? I was hoping you guys will get pumped. Snake yawning. It's fun. What? Did they flicker their tongues? What? That's kind of sick. But it's terrifying for over a year. They're scary. I actually had a dream about snakes last night. I'm thinking about the snake in my backyard. I had a dream about all kinds of coral snakes attacking me. It was kind of fucking terrifying. Immwater? No, coral snakes I think can come on land. I wasn't sure if you're down there scuba in the, oh no, snakes came out of the reef to get you. No, what the hell? It'd be terrifying. There's be some electric eels. No, it's still my voice and it's still my voice to give it to Ursula trousers wouldn't be able to pot. I wouldn't be able to podcast. I think the little mermaid. Red and black. Red a jack. Red to jack. Red touches yellow kills a fellow kills a fellow. That's it. Yeah, well, really it's the easier way to remember if the stri- if the stripes are horizontal, like wrapping around like little stripes, that's a poisonous snake. If you have a long stripe down the back, typically, Brenda Jack. Staying away from all the way. Yeah, I don't like any of them. I don't like none of them. The garter snake could be a good alliance man, because that way, filled the rodents, get the rodents going. Fucking lizards too, man. Eat all my goddamn strawberries. Really? Yeah, the fucking assholes. I have a million lizards in my bag. I have so many lizards. Kind of sick, but. It is sick. Just short to dude. Just every time I go back there, like four of them run away and I'm like, fucking jerked away to my snake. Fucking eats you guys. Yeah. That's exciting stuff. He did scare me though. I thought it was a lizard. I was like, whoa. Yeah, they're scary every time. Yeah. They get you. Dude, I, uh, started reading, um, Devils by Dusty Eski. Oh, nice. Bro. So good. And it's like, it's like, I tried crime and punishment. You called it. You're like, you're going to get bored and stop. I was like, no, I'm not. I heard it rules though. Yeah. But I did get. I tried. Couldn't do it. I got bored and stopped. It's written like a, uh, it just sounds like a gossipy neighbor just being like, dude, let me tell you about this guy. And he just sits there and gives the details on every single person and it's, it's, it's b-zams. Yeah, it is. It is b-zams. You sit in the boners with b-zams. B-zams. It really feels like that in the, uh, but it's, it's all about these like late 1800s, uh, Russian revolutionaries who are just really larping and just like, it's really weird. It's, it's like Russian progressives and how they, they have like no real beliefs and how they're just really trying to like pump themselves up. It was all this time. Yeah. Pretty crazy. It was, I was, I'm reading it. It's like, dude, it's, it's so fun. Just the little things in there, like there was one thing where, uh, like that, there's a, there was a thing in Russia called like the peasant. It was called the great something where like they started being like, yo, let's like give peasants rights because they were still, I guess, under like the monarchy and they're like, no, dude, peasants, like it was like really cool back then to be like, peasants are actually really cool when I fucking love peasants, but these people had like no relationship. Never even saw them. They're like, I think peasants are cool as fuck and they should be free to do whatever they do. Yeah. That was like, uh, marks and, uh, angles, well, that came, they would try to go to factories. Yep. And all the factory workers were like, the fuck are, they peasants loved the king. That was the thing though. They were like the, and their peasants were like, no, the king fucking rules. It's actually the, the advisors were fucking assholes. Yeah. The Russian peasants were like, they, they came to them like, yo, fuck the king and they were like, dude, fuck you. You know, beat the fuck out of you dude. Guys like my whole life. That's all I do. It's work for this fucking guy. Well, tell me he sucks. What the hell are you doing to me? But yeah, there, there was a, there's the characters are so funny because they are just like rich, like progressive, just, just absolute weasels constantly backstabbing each other. And there's this one part where this guy is like, this lady takes him in, just kind of puts him up to be tutor for her son. And she invites us like very high ranking military guy and he, like, referenced this is the peasant, like, uprising thing and the dude who's her guest goes, oh, bro, like quietly do himself, but loud enough people can hear it. And the guy just like, the fuck is your problem? This is like a big problem for him. And the end so like the, the general guy is like, fuck him. So they go to leave. He goes, hey man, shake my hand. This is the thing they do in Russian society. If you don't like somebody, go to shake hands, hit him with the two finger, you hit him with the two finger. And that you make him shake your two fingers and it lets everyone know like a fuck this guy. That's crazy. That's nice. That's what making me laugh so hard. And then if you don't accept, it's like, dude, you got to shake hands. He had no choice but to be like, motherfucker got me. Got my ass. There's only in front of one lady. Just was like, oh, you're not a gentleman. You're not going to shake my hand. He goes, fucking bitch. And he would go to his room and like cry and write letters. So funny. It's so funny. It's, it's really, it's been a really, it's been a treat to read. This episode is brought to you by Bluetooth. The number one brand for better sex, Bluetooth just drops something crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. For years, Bluetooth has made it easy for over five million men to get hard, but now they make it easy to get horny too. 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Please come August 7th, San Jose, 7th and 8th San Jose, California and Spokane, Washington, August 13th. Then after that, Portland, Boston, World Oaks, Michigan, and a bunch of other places in the fall, go to matmacusker.com for tickets, please. July 17th at the link in Philadelphia, also August in South Carolina, Charleston. I've been fired up on a book. It's called The Wager, I think it's like a very popular history book, but it's, you'd like it. What's it about? What's this expedition of ships that left England trying to sail around? I think their mission was to, like. blow up a fucking Spanish port in like Chile, but it's pretty great. Chico South. Yeah. Really sucks. Have everyone gets scurvy. You can figure out scurvy. Those like boat missions back in the day, we're just cursed is unbelievable. How bad it was every single fucking chapter you're like, no way. Yeah, I found out they'll under the weather is because they put all the sick guys under the lower hold, get them out of the weather guy. He's under the weather. Oh shit. I like it. Everyone's want to read something like that in a book and then I'm not sure if that's right. Sounds pretty good. Watch guys give me a look at that. Can I while you do that, I'm going to give you another one, cut to the chase. Comes from the silent film error where before like those Charlie Chaplin films, always for whatever reason, they're chasing. Yep, they would always have it unnecessary, very boring, drawn out love story, which is him just like winking and raising his eyebrows. And then that someone guy was like, did cut to the fucking chase. Get to the chase. This is bullshit. Let's just see him chase a guy around a pond under the weather. Fuck you. That's also scurvy blows. Well, you can teeth fall out. Yeah, hair falls out. Yeah, everything blows. You die. Ah, just because you don't have vitamin C in a fucking lemon because you don't have a lemon, which is why they're called linies. Really? Cause they need the lives. I was thinking about it. You're a fucking land lover. You're a land. Not true. You're a land. I've spent more time. I saw you went on the open sea. What's the last time I went on the open sea? I'm just a paddle board. Open sea. I'm a paddle board in the fucking talk. Talking about that's coastal shit. Yeah. I love it. You're talking about what's the last time? I've been in the open sea. When? Fucking couple days ago, where were you? It's out of sea. It's out of sea, dude. You're a land lover. That's so untrue. I got scurvy. That's why I got all these lines. Dude, I had this start sucking lines. Dude, well, you got to be careful because now they're trying to say that citrus intake increases skin cancer risk. I know. I think it's when you're a salty dog like me, skin cancer is a gang. I heard that. I'm a salty dog. You're a land lover. That's what you can do about it. Bro, I've been underwater more than I think I've spent hours underwater in the last couple of weeks. I've been swimming. I'm underwater, dude. It's fucking sick. Underwater is the best. I'm underwater. Dude, it's for real sick. Like when you swim laps, you're kind of chilling underwater with other people. So do I. That's what I'm saying. When you call me a land lover, it's just it's not even like offensive. It's just not true. You're a land lover. That's that true. You've never been at sea for more than a day. You've never been at sea. I know I went on a carnival cruise when I was 14. Dude, I was we're out there. Man, it must have been 10 days out there. I bet. Yeah, you went on this. I went real career. I'm gonna go and fight. I didn't go to a car. We're 15,000 people are on deck fighting. I would never go to a car. The ribby would have been black people. Cruises are fucking awesome. The party's a fun, but you guys a couple fights. Yeah, there was there was that being clear out in the customs. I don't know if you saw that. I thought there's a morning. Yeah, there was a custom like a big brawl in the customs line. And there was just like 15 people got banned from the country. No cruise list. You got you can't fight in the customs. That's crazy, dude. You have to there's got to be a just a. It's got to be some sacred. Customs is tough, though. Fighting. Actually, I just got to fight. Almost got to fight one time. Yeah, I got off. I was coming back. I think from England, via ship. And when we finally docked after six months at sea, we finally docked it. You'd never make it on the way. I mean, but I swear to God, air Afghanistan got off the same time. Me and the bros were in line for several hours. Yeah, tough. Yep. I've had on an old African guy one time in customs. He like literally just butted and shoulder checked. It was just like bro. Don't fucking talk to me like that. It's Ellis Island. It literally right back. It's five exact same thing. It's five points. It is. You become build the butcher real quick. That's crazy. So when's the longest you've spent at sea for real? I don't I'm a lane lover. Are you really? Yeah. Why you just built this whole thing up? No, I don't I've never been on a cruise. So fucking viral cruise day deep sea fishing. Yeah, that's I mean, caramel cruise is hardly at sea. No, man, those things rock. I remember you're you're laying there, man, took me a while to get back to land. I was so used. I was just like I took to it. Yeah, you see that because of the car. Yeah, I remember I was at the indoor mall. Just got a soft serve ice cream cone from the vending machine and yeah, man. I had about 14 baths. I'll tell you what, the only fucking lime. I actually know is the account man's a salty dog. Yeah, he's on a boat every fucking 10 minutes. Yeah. You think you're a salty dog, dude? You're a lane lover. Fucking pond scum. Yeah, pond scum. More of a fresh water guy, but all this sea talk. I've been I was thinking about my old primary care physician the other day. His name was Dr. and he actually passed away at sea last year. Oh, yeah, he died. Let's see. So I was thinking about that because I got a new primary care physician and he doesn't hold the candle to really he was really bad. How did pass it see? Well, it's sort of a sore subject, but he fell off his fishing boat. And then the fishing boat went like crazy and and I mean, I wish you guys wouldn't laugh at it. Like I said, it's sort of a sore subject. I was thinking about those bombs. He's fishing and and he he was ejected from his boat and then the boat kept driving and it ran him over and got hit by his own boat. Yeah, he was killed by his own boat, best way. It's these ones closest to you. I he really was a great doctor and rest of peace. Oh, man, I was just thinking about that the other day because I got a new crappy primary care physician and I was just so he went out to eat some fish and the fish ended up eating. Hey, man, we all do eventually for not to think about that. We brought it up. I don't think it's funny. Yeah, I don't even told the fucking story and definitely block out his name because I don't want to make fun of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. All right, sorry. Um, yeah, I was thinking of the bad guys, but I like the stories. Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt that. It's just never mind. You're just thinking about it. Just think it's a fucked up thing to think about. He's the only person I know who died at sea, you lost it, see? Yeah. Primary, do primary care docs now or it's I tried to go to a place once and it's like, I think it's owned by like Amazon or something. It was fucking bullshit. Yeah, I went to one. They assigned me one that was attached to a church. I went to a doctor's chat attached to a church, but you're a doctor of the church. It was, it wasn't a great experience, but I don't want to know. Dude, they just happened to you. Oh, sure. Nothing. I just needed to check up. And I got insurance finally, they gave me a BSS doctor. Yeah, well, they just like just took forever. It was, I was like, wait, forever. And they're like, yeah, checking your blood pressure and like, okay, I could go to CVS for this. Yeah, it's fucking bull. Also, while man blood pressure. Yeah. It's a fucking seriously, dude. Like it's pretty high up there for me. Blood pressure list of concerns. I feel like you can lower your blood pressure naturally. Yeah. I don't know. I had the blood pressure met the window. They shrunk the window for blood pressure medication. Now, it used to be like one, whatever over this. Now they're like, no, it's actually like 20 points. We slid it down 20 points. Just to be like that way more people can get on blood pressure medication. What is, does anyone know why that happens? Is it just stress? Is it like salt? Or like, why do people just, yeah, it's definitely like, for me, it's like alcohol, coffee, nicotine. That'll do it. Yeah. And if I don't do any of that for like two hours, yeah, it just goes down and stress for sure. Yeah. I had to get a try to get an IV at the Super Bowl. Like they had like a little IV thing the day after we went out, it was, we had a pretty wild night. And then I'm in a room. It was like a public room of like, they have these things where they like just give people gifts. Like if it's like a VIP thing, they just are like here. Where are these shorts? Yeah. And so there's just tons of people and they're like, you want an IV? I was like, yeah, I mean, nice. And they're like, we just have to check your blood pressure real quick. I was like, why is this going to be the craziest blood pressure you've ever seen? Sure enough, it was. What? And then they're like just, are you alright? Are you like stressed out? I'm like, yeah, this is sweating. There's famous people and I'm laying in a chair like, and they're like, just relax for five minutes. I was like, all right. And it worked. It went down. The blood pressure goes down. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty easy. That's not bad. Hell of a story. That was a good story. Well, it was a good story. We're talking blood pressure. You delivered. Thanks, man. I have no fucking blood pressure stories. Other than it's every now and again, I'll go and I'll go, we're a little on the low side and I go, pretty fucking chill. Yeah, it's because I'm too chill. Pretty fucking chill. The only time it goes up when people tell me I'm a land lover. Yeah. I was listening to the book, hit, heard a fucking land lover. And I'm like, oh, I'm gonna call Matt a land lover. I'm gonna call it Matt a land lover tomorrow. I'm telling you, I've been a quad, I've been in the water almost every day. It's underground. Actually, it's funny, too, because I'm on underwater and I still like I watch people do freestyle you know people can freestyle swim just like continuously for yeah I still don't know how people do that slow yeah but dude like you can still do it slow But you have to like try to time your breathing correct. It's really really difficult So I'm like I'm just like watching people underwater just trying to peep trying to peep game underwater So I'm just doing my fucking old lady brushstroke and I'm just watching freestyle Don't have spent at least a a good combined couple hours underwater in the last couple weeks. It's very good Just chillin just watching people just yeah, you know fucking you shark down there. Where are you swimming in the pool in your house? Swim out the pool down there is ripping the laps dude. It's the best And also I swear to God you if you swim if you're in a pool for like Say 45 minute swimming doing like laps you get out your voices deeper It's something about all the press that water when you're breathing in water the water pressure is like making it harder to breathe So something about your diaphragm I get out of the pool. I'm like yo Every single time it's so funny. I get out dude. I get I go home right away. I'm like yo What's going on? Yeah, you mug you can't I'll be there dude. I you can't help it. You're underwater maxing Completely underwater underwater underwater and sun-maxing you are a sun-max I've been in the sun saying I've been in the sun Just non-stop. I might have to check a different box next time. You getting close. Yeah, at least you know non-white, Hispanic Yeah, I think I've earned non-white Hispanic. Yeah, you're gonna hit a fucking amber You're gonna Hispanic enough to you all know when I get it when I pick up my kids it goes Yeah, I have to do it hard. I speak enough stress to my I found out that my house has mold Fucking house in my room. There's like a we had like a growth come out of the thing and So we you know, we called the builder who it's like we bought it off someone else, but it's like pretty it's a pretty new house So we didn't have like I didn't realize I didn't know how like the warranty worked with all that shit There's out as a noble builder. They came out there like dude. You shouldn't be dealing with that just Fixed they're fixing it as we speak this thing. This house gets mold fucking constantly. You think so? I've seen it I mean, yeah, it's not good. It's wild dude. They the problem was in the front of my house They like there's a huge stretch where they did just no flashing for some reason and then there's like this tape They put around the seams that that wasn't there and do my whole front. It's just like black the plywood It's just black and just like completely chewed looks like my house is on fire. It's disgusting So there's the boys are out there as we speak right now Came up. Yeah, I was I was punishing them this morning. They showed up at seven. I had just come back from running You're so sure shirtless and completely sweaty So I kept just trying to get close to talk to them I can tell they're like oh dude back. Yeah back away. You're true. Awesome back. Oh, I've compared this running shirtless running true Awesome, dude. I even did my box of briefs in the pool recently just to get the feel of a speedo It was just me. I was by myself and I was like I just want to see what a speedo feels like Do you roll your so we're all up to make it a speedo? No, I just took my head boxers underneath my Yeah, oh, no, I did like down a thigh speedo. I'm a swim dad. I don't know if you know I'm a swim right now. My kid was in swim. I'm a salty dog. I'm a swim dad. I'm a years. I'm a salty dog Well, I'm a salty dog laying lover land lover swim dad swim dad. It's crazy. You can't you got to Separate it. You got to have people put on fucking pants between the races. You can't have just fucking Dude chiseled boys high school boys. There's it's all ages like adonis is walking around in their undies I'm gonna put us a fucking pants on you get what the hell are you doing here? Because it's like I don't look But it's like the whole time you're just kind of like you guys have to walk around just like it's crazy Yeah, it's a weird and it's every exactly is normal. This is not normal. It's just fucking weird I'm not the only person being fucking feeling weird around here and everyone's acting all fucking cool and normal I'm going. No guys. This is fucked up. There's a bunch of high school boys in the underpants and everyone's acting like it's cool I mean, it's just not cool. Pray to God. Your daughters don't play volleyball You're gonna be hitting a high school volleyball game. I Didn't even think about What the fuck is funny on here. What's funny too? Because I think the coach of like the our our swim team I don't know where he's way he seems like he was like an accomplished swimmer He's got the swimmer's body. He's got a little accent too. It's fucking yoked and It's a bit of a heart throb. So we had a we had the end of your swim party. It's a bit of a dick throb We had the end of your swim party and a my oldest daughter Maya was like we're about to go to the party. She was like I wonder what coach Where and I was I should blank as they about so I wonder what he's what of course his name is fucking What he's wearing I was like what she's like you think he's wearing a bow tie and I was like what the fuck and I'm like, I don't know Went on put on a boat. I put on a bow tie Can I hope he's wearing a fucking bow tie. It's so hard. It did make me laugh. It was so funny So funny. He's a man too. But yeah, it was he's he's a fucking dude. He's a hard throb. It just is what it is man It's nothing to do about it. I'm just a fucking got me in the swimming world It's just so hard dude to do it just to come to grips with I'm such a fucking turd you got to get to you got to get to Barton Springs. I've done it. I know, but that's where that's where you build your strength real swim laps there down Dude, I want to go there and do it. I would be some good underwater observations. That would be a real deep you can get down I can also see I mean down amongst the fish and look up. I could see a lot. I could people out of game and Barton for sure But yeah, I honestly think it my skill level or breaststroke. I can kind of breaststroke and definitely that's the one but it's like an easy one You can do it forever. Yeah, but the it's it'll still it'll gas you but I think I could do Down-back down-back down-back breaststroke freestyle Halfway, you just get so slow. Yeah, even when you go slow you start fucking like running out of breath Take you get one breath where you take water in panic So yeah, that's been in the high-drama of swimming laps At 9 a.m. But it is nice swimming is the it's the ultimate Doesn't your joints don't hurt afterwards. It's it's like truly it's a skill to skill to pick up for life That'll carry you all the way to old age certainly yeah But Get anymore. He's just horrible stories. Well, yeah, that's what he was thinking You know someone who had a hard attack in the pool or something. Jesus Christ. I'm sorry I feel bad for bringing that I don't know what I don't think you should I think Yeah, I think we feel bad for trying not to laugh. I do know it's it's more of a situational thing I'm just worried about you. I want you to be careful out on the water I don't want to lose somebody else to the water in the pool. I think about having a hard attack in the pool every day I It is what it is if I fucking die swimming I die swimming man, you know But I like the unwanted. I don't think I will you're not your landlover You get there's your dying on land. I guarantee it. I think I'm gonna fall into the dirt You think I'm gonna fall into the you're going straight to mud. Dude your landlover This is fucking bullshit, dude This is fucking bullshit Yeah, no, I How's last week? How was the last weird? It's been chaos. Yeah, I don't say to you nothing. It's just non-stop chaos Everything is Can't even do a goddamn fun thing. I don't do cool things. No, that's right. I oh, we're talking about the White House. I Canceled I was like I'm not going really probably I shouldn't I don't feel like dealing with this shit Yeah, and then looked at my Instagram and they were doing dirt bike flips on the White House I was like I got to see what this is. Yeah, what else so I Don't I don't like the it was pretty wild Yeah, but it's also one of the things that is gay chief fight was Fucking awesome and the troops dude the troops were lining the fucking it was I was just hanging out And my section was like just metal of honor winners It was a dude would come up and be like hey man big fan And then you look and he's wearing a fucking metal of honor and you're like Thank you, sir. Thank you. Yeah, that's insane But it's also the the the critique from people that around exclusive events that they're not inviting it It's just kind of like you won't know unless you get you can't even you can't I Wouldn't have went it's like yeah, I doubt it. I mean, I was thinking about not going, but It's all that fly over in the dirtbugs I heard the card the card was fucking yeah, the second fly over scared me the alpha armor second one was a like yeah, it was a loud bomber and I was I don't know if I'm allowed to say who I was with I was with the Venezuelan boys sit with those boys that pulled that off what allegedly The vanguard Those are the guys who grabbed Maduro. I thought he's talking about the Venezuelan like regime. I was like row nice The Venezuelan boys and me and then there was that loud fucking bomber later later in the night. I was like Is that one of ours? Yeah, make sure we're not this isn't it Yeah, it's a crazy thing to do to a bunch of veterans have the flyovers flyovers People that could have PTSD now they probably knew it's got none of them have PTSD from planes. Okay, you know, I mean yeah Yeah, oh, I know it's a fucking boondoggle for me. Nobody's nobody's hit nothing with planes. It would scare the shit. It was pretty awesome. Yeah. I do a lot. I had to put out a lot of fires that week. I have a huge liberal liberal fan base. I have like five million followers on Blue ski. You guys don't even know about it. But I was putting out fire after fire all week. I'm like, "Guys, dude, come on." I didn't really give a fuck. I mean, you shoot it. It's crazy. I didn't. It's crazy. It's so fucking dumb and crazy. I did news in general. Yeah, just didn't look for a week. And then it's gone. Yeah. That's how much it doesn't matter. You just don't look and it goes, "Nobody fucking cares." Any regular person you talked to was going, "Oh, yeah. Either, "Oh, yeah. I forgot that was happening." Or, "Yeah, fuck. I wonder how that was." If you're for real getting mad about a new story, you're retarded. You're fucking, no, it's true. Especially that. If it's like, you know, if it's like a cultural political, it's like, you're retarded. Like, you're for real. The one that's making me laugh the most now is the reflecting pool. Do you see how people, they're so upset about the reflecting pool? The algae in the, you know, trump, like tried to redesign it. It put like a blue fucking base to it. And now everyone's upset. Why didn't you try to blew it out? You put like that shit in the toilet? Make it look fucking sick, dude. True. And the ellipsis. Dude, the ellipsis. Don't even talk to me about the dead guys on the ellipsis. What happens? Not my ellipsis. Not like this. What is the ellipsis? Exactly. No one knows what the fuck the ellipsis is until now. Now all of a sudden, everyone's going, "The ellipsis grass is dead. It's shut up. We got bigger fish to fry than some fucking dead grass that will be fine." Yeah, that is funny. However, unsuddenly, it was like, "It's just such a sacred space that it should never have been used for." It's like, I remember what was going on in there. I saw, I saw HB. I saw 100. I remember small things in there. 100 Biden roads. Shout out HB. It's nice words. It's nice words. But in the end, he goes, "I don't think that place should be desecrated like that." It's like, "Yo, let's do a lie detector about who's the cocaine." Don't talk about my boy HB. He's a man. I saw the positive tweet. Now I'm full of HB. He's a man. He was just, he said he liked me. So now I like him. HB all day. Dude, HB. I forgive him. Could make a run, dude. He's sensible. He did that tweet. Okay, this guy's sensible. He's not really inflammatory. He seems like he could bridge the aisle. He really could. All of his dirty laundry is out there. It's like, okay, what are you going to do? Yeah, I fucking smoked crack. The guy in, the guy in Canada smoked crack. And he's the fucking man. He's the best. He's the best. All right. I paid to a legend. Oh, Shady, I know he's dead. I pay. Yeah. That fucking interviewer. He's like, yeah, I smoked crack. You're just jealous because nobody wants to do cool stuff with you. Yeah. I said, don't have press conference. And he's like, they're saying I ate that girl's pussy. I got plenty to eat at home. Thank you. He said I ate her pussy in an interview. Also, talking about eating his wife's pussy. Also being like plenty of it at home, just there. Yeah, he was the fucking man. She's needing the dough for me right now. I'm about to come home and jump on it. But yeah, I gotta be honest, going to the White House was sick. Yeah, it was cool. Yeah, I kept my distance from the politicians. Yeah, I wanted to enjoy the fights. They were good fights. It was a spectacle. Did hang out with the troops the entire time. Sick. The troops fucking rule. Yes. But before that, I went to the NBA final. I was it. Yep. I went to I went to the first four games. My seat kept getting further. Last game I was off. That was crazy. That was awesome. Yeah, that was that was really cool. Completely neutral observer. It's fun to watch. I was pulling for the there's you see the guy for also I was the I was I was in New York. I didn't go to game five when they won. I didn't go back to San Antonio. And I was very excited to walk around and see the chaos. Nothing. It wasn't that chaos now. I think by a massive square garden. It was wild. Yeah, but I was expecting like I was down like Washington Square Park. It was just a bunch of larpers, dude. Yeah, there was a bunch of kids, men, why you and a bunch of people that moved to New York that no one gives a fuck about the next and they were all just standing there like, what do we do? Yeah. How do we do this? And it reminded me I was just made me miss Philadelphia. Yeah, true. It's instantly put you know right in Broad Street. It's there's somebody's sock in a horse, a police horse. Right in the fucking mouth. Yeah, well, they don't know is you're allowed to break the law for 12 hours. So go break the laws and you know, someone will die. Unfortunately. Yes. Yeah, that is fun. Yeah, it's kind of cool. You got to see that because I wondered like because they made it look like it was complete chaos up by the garden. I think it was. And I think the parade was chaotic. Yeah, and also wasn't Trump there. So they hold that down. Trump was a game three. Yeah, that was fun. How was that? It was crazy trying to get into the stadium because they blocked off like blocks around the stadium. That's nuts. And yeah, yeah. Get the hang out with the boys and blue though. NYPD. It's tight. It's nice. Yeah, cops turns out. I'm not pretty. You're pretty too. NYPD are chill. Yeah, they're busy enough too, where they're not like breaking the balls about dumb stuff. I got pulled over the other night. Down here in Austin, I just literally completely sober. Yeah, damn, bro. You better get used to it. I'm just a suspicious driver. You're suddenly a suspicious. Also, my car looks inside of my car. It looks like a crackhead's car. There's shit. There's just like the weirdest assortment of shit every day. There's like shit that I get mailed. There's like t-shirts and plastic bags, a basketball, food containers, and the guy pulled up and he goes like having a good night, man. If my headlights were off, he's like, sure fired DUI. And I was just like, oh, that was forming. And he was just like, ah, shit, and he looked. I think he smelled the breath through clean. So, but yeah, so I got off. I got to do all my cop stuff, turn the lights on inside. So, like, put them at ease, window fully down. Handle wheel, both hands, hands visible for sure. I did have a little joint head height right down. Did he move my shoulder, but kind of proud of myself for that. Now move your shoulders nice. It was dude. I just scooped it out a little hand rest, dropped it on the floor right as he was walking. I said, I want to panic, dude. I've watched too much Midwest safety. I was cool. It was a cute gum ride. I like literally jumped in the passenger seat by like a driver driver took off, dude. I don't even know the fuck. These are my pants. These are my brother's pants. Yeah, Tony got out and freaked the fuck out. I would have said I was a sovereign citizen. I would have hit him with the poor. Yeah. See, the poor. Yeah, it's gonna be bad for you. That must have been terrifying for that cop. Chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill. He goes, he does some poor. Yeah, he's gonna be bad for you. And then he hit the, I would have tased him right away. Dude, I would just, yeah. But then if that dude got from it, it pulls that out. And the shorts lift. Do you see the shorts lift? You hit the fucking shorts lift, squaring up, and it's like, oh no, I've seen this. Now, man, that's that's real terrifying. And everyone's like, yo, do something about this guy. It's like, I'd have to train for five years. You have to train. I have to go back in time. I have to get a time machine and start training when I'm 10 years old. Oh, I have a gun. Yeah. No, it would have been, it have to be tased. He's got a tased and just ribbing. Maybe, bro, I, you view, view, that's so scary. I guess, too, if he closed the distance, he would have fucking, I don't know if he liked that. Poor you, he's the man. Yeah. It happens, dude, that happens. I think everybody forgives him. Everyone's like, that was actually a sick video. It is a sick video. Kind of cool as fucking that. Yeah, dude. Not that that's cool. But he pulled it off. Yeah, Justin Timberlake did the same thing. He had a cool drunk video when the guy was like, uh, what's what are you doing? He was like, let's go around the tour. I'm a, uh, let's go around the whole world tour. I'm on a world tour. Yeah. He's like, no, I'm actually just going to go around the tour. He goes, what tour? The world tour. Although then you see footage from the tour, or he's just kind of like, don't care. Don't want to do this. JT, I mean, I'm in the world. You're saying he mailed in the world tour? I haven't seen it. There's a video. No, people were mad. I don't, again, you never know what happens. But there was a video where he was just like, kind of, you know, the audience sings. He was just walking around on stage and just hitting this. He was kind of fun. It is. Found in the world tour. But that's his, that's his business. Yeah. I want to get JT on so bad. That'd be awesome. So bad. I, I, I, my strings that I could pull, I tried. I had one to get, I think we get HB on HB 100, but I think we get 100. I think we get HB. I think we get HB. And, you know, again, I'm kidding about cocaine and the White House could have been anybody's. But literally could have been anyone's. If you want to, if you thought you were talking about cocaine, there's a lot. That's a cocaine archetype. The whole business of politics. So it was just a obviously a clever joke on. I would love to get HB on. HB and JT would be he simultaneously simultaneously. Yeah, we should start looking just random. I'll bring the clear podiums to what two people stand. They always sit down like JT. You were drunk. JT, you were drunk. That's so fucking funny. JT DUI. Also, it's got to be crazy at DUI when you're JT and you're like, this isn't going to affect me at all. But it's just like okay, I'll just hire someone to drive me? This is fucking minor inconvenience. Yeah, you know, I'm fucking saying. Yeah for show can't believe I got profiled while I was driving tan. Yeah. That's crazy. Dang. You're getting too tanned. I'm dude. I'm trying to see. You think I'm you get if you keep getting more jacked, they're going to go straight for the taser. I feel like I'm at a putter. You're entering full threat territory. I'll just be adjusting my shorts and I'll get a taste full threat territory. I want to see how how tan I can go. This is I think I'm maxed out. This is no way you can do you think I go more you can do more than I'm also I think I'm plateauing. I don't think I'm getting now. I noticed how jacked you know what I walked in. I haven't seen you in fucking 10 days. I was like god damn. What happened? Competition's almost over. I've been doing a calorie competition with who to my neighbors. What's the calories? Whoever burns the most calories total in the month of June wins. I'm a pretty good. I'm I'm on par to hit about like 35,000 for June. It's crazy. Yeah. It's been pretty. I had a 3000 calorie day. I think it really like fuck me. That's why I really worry about having a heart attack. Yeah. I'm like really excited for this and I don't know why this is this thing spiraled out of control. Now it's just complete panic. Every time I get an alert to my thing being like blah blah blah started working. I'm like fucking bastard. Fuck. I check my enemies every day. One of my enemies is up there and I go all right. I got to run four miles. Been a catch. We kind of fun. Yeah. Calorie off is it's been a fun thing. And it's honestly one of those things where they say like well you can over train. You need rest days. I've had no rest days. It's been 30 fucking days. It's like maybe not. Maybe actually don't need a rest day. Maybe it's all fucking bullshit. Yeah, those rest days really. They sink my battleship. Yeah, they turn into rest. Go jump for three days. I go rest day and then you go fucking I'm still so in a double two rest days and then you got to fucking I'm not going back to the fucking. Yeah, I turn into rest. Yeah, turns out you don't really need them. They're bullshit. So I'd break it to you guys exercise. Physiologist and doctors. I'm definitely very healthy and I'm not going to have a hard attack because I fucking done like a thousand calories a day for 30 days. I'm on what's the day today? You see? Okay. It's also it I will say it's not fair in this competition because uh my friends have like jobs. They have to be yet. So I I'm fucking hit like a fucking two hour block. It's been actually it's been fun. But I will say I'm my guy. This is I got a chill. This is this is just not it's not nice. But yeah, stressful and negative things coming. What? No, it's not that bad. It never is as bad as you think. Honestly, I'll tell you this one. What? You get to think it's a battle. Oh no. All fair. All right. We done? Yeah. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane secret podcast on Spotify. Do it.