Ep 619 - Plus-Sized Problems (feat. Nate Marshall & Lemaire Lee)

Wow, wow, Wes, could you give me some airy, you know, some AC I want to see you sweat. I want to see you sweat. Oh, just kicked on just kicked on. Yeah, just kicked on. It kicks on every I'm guessing. If I had to guess, I'm guessing the temperature said at 75. No, I keep it, I keep it a little at 74 thing. I keep it a little high. Very good. Yes, I keep a little warm for the plants. I have plants. I don't want to get in Chile and for you. I saw I just saw a thing. I don't know. I don't think it'll break into mainstream news. But apparently this guy was he had like a plus size appreciator community and he called it paradise, like pair. It's like pear shape. Yeah, yeah, paradise. Love it. But apparently all wasn't well and paradise. Apparently he was getting a little handsy. So he had set up this like community where plus size women could just be comfortable in chilling poles in the bikinis. And I think he was getting a little handsy. I feel like there there's been trouble in paradise. I feel like that's what they signed up for paradise for. Well, it was his paradise. Oh, just him and babes. I think I don't know. I just I saw a second and I just thought it was so funny that he had started paradise. And then the other starter of paradise allegedly, it's coming out that he might have been engaging in some unsavory practice. Oh, he definitely might get my gut. You come out with paradise. You know with paradise. Yeah, I mean, he was King of the Fats. Yeah, he was King of the Fats. He set it up where he was like, yeah, I think it's important. We all my paradise will be spelled with Pog first. Pog, Pog. He's Pog base. Imagine if you imagine if you were the God of Pogadice, how long could you keep that chill of like, I just think it's really great that you guys all came out here. You're feeling then you get in the pool. The pool is my drill. Damn, just you doing chicken fights against Pogs. Although you have to fill the quads up, dude. Yeah, I don't do that. You can't let a Pog feel you go at all. They would never do you can't struggle and you can, dude, it's I've ever ever like had a chick be like, pick me up and you pick him up and you go, never once you can't grunt. You can't you got to throw all your bodybuilding training out of the window and just be like, you got to act like you're just like lifting air. You're gonna leave the foreground squat. You're gonna go, when I leave the ass, when you pick him up, I go, no. I like planted fitness. You need the lung to alarm when you pick up big lady. You cannot long, dude. Well, the problem is babes watch all these viral challenges. We're like, look, he picked up his whole family with one arm. And it's like, dude, get the fuck out of here with that. That's gonna bring up that. You saw that new challenge. I've seen all of them, dude, I've seen a guy just carrying a lady like up steep. There's a lot of challenges. A lot of lady carrying challenges. My thing is like, ladies chill. You don't want it. You don't want the truth. You don't want to hear your guy go. Fucking back up. They're not going to kill good after that. That's how you get trouble in paradise. Once we start doing like, can you carry me up the steps? We like, we haven't bit the apple. We're good. Put a leather weight lifting belt on my knee brace. Chalk my hands. Yeah, I would love to know what the starting level of the pool at paradise was before the babes got in. And it just, oh, it's like a, it's like a glass with ice cubes in it. Let's get to, let's get the fucking run down on pair of ice. What do you see, Sean? I mean, I was deep in the fucking news trying to find you to talk. I was like, I'm almost positive. Nobody knows about paradise. Oh, here we go. Paradise is an online body positive. I can also produce in the podcast. Paradise is an online body positive community for plus size women that devolved into severe allegations of manipulation, exploitation, coercive dynamics, centered in Las Vegas, run by creator Stefan Willamy, the group of subject of the television documentary. Big girls wanted escaping paradise. Well, that's got a gold mileage. I think that's on Netflix. Big girls won it. It looks like it's an ABC. ABC bros, an ABC doc. Did me plus ask what'd be real matter of that? Well, I mean, you know, these, these networks, if you boil it down to dollars, like, you know, these like tell all investigative journalism documentaries were like, here's a villain. And here's like how it worked out. There's teams looking for these things. So that's on HBO Max. Hell yeah. That's going to be a good, escaping paradise is going to be a good one. Yeah, especially if you have a bbw yourself, you got can't believe it mistreated them. I would never. Trust him of all these plus size angels. Oh, it is, you're, it is funny. You're saying it would be like when you put a lot of ice cubes in a glass and just like, over. Also, imagine getting the wave pool going in the pool. You got the fucking, you got the, you got the way, you got the raft. You start getting the waves. All your beautiful pairs of. You just stand on the side. My thing is like, what happened? I want to know what happened. Yeah. I want to know what happened, dude. Look, what happened in paradise? I mean, dude, I saw the, like the clips and it is just, it's big babes and bikinis in the pool. Like, I don't know what I'm talking about. I don't know. Fucking babes. They're, they're, they're half the babes. They're half the babes. Yeah. That's the thing too. Let me see if I can find. Dude, they're, I, I just saw a little bit obese babes. You two big giant babes laying next to each other, tanning. Like, think of how nice will it feel to just lay across the blue. Well, I'm talking purely tactile. Imagine in the pool. There's, I don't know, nine plus size babes, two of them kind of sandwich you for just a second. That's like a Frankenstein. You'd be like, I need to get back in me to whatever that space was. I need to get back in there. Just the feel of being like, oh, my God. I'm surrounded by babes. It's like a whole body orgasm. You just get completely squished in fat. I don't know. I'm surrounded by jelly. What do you say? Is it bad? I don't know. Well, I don't want to be rude. So but the, the, the babes in paradise, I think pair is sort of a parachute kind term. They're more like come quads or come quads or tiny. Oh, really? Come across or tiny? Maybe like a mango. You think it's magnetized? You think it's watermelon guys? It might be watermelon. I was going to say from the artwork I saw these are. These might be plus plus. Yeah. They're big babes. Let's be honest, we're on the SPBW. SPBW to SuperFace. Super BBW. Yeah, it might be SPBW. My thing, I'm body pause. It's, I think it's it's going against body pause. It's trying to say pairs. I'm with you Sean. Be like the merely pear shaped. That's like mom. Okay, that's like frumpy mom where it's like, oh, you know, had a couple kids paired out. These are big, beautiful women. Yeah. That's when I'm saying I'm getting trapped between them in a pool. That's good. That idea, dude, you might want a pictures of Netflix. Yeah, I don't even fucking know. But like, you know the movie heavyweights. Yes, you do it. But with this, BBW. Yeah, BB dobs. Paradise. Paradise, dude. But what would the challenge be? A bunch of skinny ladies trying to get lifted by the difference, the movie heavyweights. And then I threw my training regimen, lift all the fattest women ever make their day. And I become the king of paradise. Yeah, you're the major. My wife is cool with it because I'm being body pause. Babe, I'm being fucking body pause. I have to lift these fat women for the business. I'm saying still way the business works. These are funny. But yeah, paradise. I mean, God damn, the guy thought he's starting something nice. Yeah. That was his Neverland Ranch. But you do it in the woods. It is kind of a bad look. You said it's in the woods, right? You're talking paradise. Paradise is in Las Vegas, bro. Oh, oh, oh, the website is, well, maybe I shouldn't say this, but the website is still up. Yeah, for sure. I just saw a paradise website still up. Yeah, my man had the, my mom, my man had to wag you in the way you. A five. A five wag you buttery salt. Melt in his mouth. Well, there's a problem. You haven't seen the doc. It could be like horrific. It couldn't be horrific. I mean, he could have been baking them. It could be some disappeared. I mean, who needs some 10? Yeah, he's gonna be like, who needs sunscreen? There, there's a session addressing the allegations on the paradise official website, paradise.net. And it says you came here after hearing or reading some negative things. When adults interact, misunderstandings can happen for a detailed timeline, documentation, and context. See the full allegations page. So they haven't paid dedicated to their full allegations. Yeah, it's like about us, contact allegations of sexual misogyny. Yeah, it's not a good time. It's a banless privacy policy contact. - Can you look at Paradise on Google Review? 'Cause that might have ratings. - Yeah. - Yeah, let's see. I'm gonna try to do Paradise. Although there's a lot of Paradise events. Oh, it is, LLC. Where was this? Snowy photo doesn't look like Vegas to me. It's Texas. There's a Paradise event in Texas. - What? - Oh, you're in a franchise. - It's a port. - Yeah, the torso. - Yeah, flautas. - Let's say Paradise, Las Vegas. 'Cause you ever see the Google reviews on stuff that shouldn't have Google reviews? - Yeah. - Paradise, Las, prickly Paradise quilts. What the hell? - It's not on Google Review. - Damn. - Damn. - They have the allegations page here and-- - What's he claiming? - How many allegations? - This page exists to collect a relevant timeline, public context, selective materials and documented records relating to the allegations made about the founder, Stefan Will Helmi. First name is Stefan. It's a paradise. It's not a great name. Stefan Erkill. Dude, that was the best. That's cool. Erkill. That's cool. It's not to attack, inflame, attack, or make conclusions for the reader. It's intended to present a documented account organized chronology so that interested readers can review the available materials and form their own understanding. Okay, so what the fuck? Is this guy have fucking receipts or not, dude? That's how he's the receipts pace. Yeah. He was a screenshot of a text. Okay, so you got to get a true crowd podcast. You got to get true crowd voice. You got to. He hasn't really get true crowd. Is there any juicy deets? That's what I need. I'm sifting through the deets. So it's been going on. Let me sift through it. Sift through and jump back in. But yeah, I thought you guys might enjoy the fact that they're troubling paradise. Dude, I, uh, I'm trying to escape paradise myself. I've been in a month. I've been in a challenge with two of my friends where it's as many you track it on the Apple Watch whoever burns the most calories by the month of June wins. Yeah. I'm up to you. I'm nine days in and I've burnt. I think 11,000 calories in nine days. That's next time. Dude, it's first of all, I do think I would like it's so hard to get rid of fat. Yeah, yeah. Like I've been to the point where like I really, like I need a chill. Like I'm getting I feel like ill right now. I've worked out so much. You tell me the shred. The sharp touch. I'm saying, give me the shred. Where's the shred? Dude, it takes to lose a pound of fat. It takes like, I think like four thousand calories. Well, thousand calories. You know, it takes to burn four thousand calories. Yeah. And if you were to run my record on the elliptical. It's like five hundred. Huh? Some of my record on the ellipticals like five hundred. If you were to run hard and like give it your all, you might burn 500 calories. Yeah. That's insane. You need to burn 3500 more calories. Yeah. You'd have to do what is that? Six all-out running sessions to try to fight down one pound while not taking in enough food just that to offset that. Such fucking bullshit. What are you going? What are you fucking laughing at? Do you think true paradise is funny? No, no, no, no. I just wanted to clarify that. So the allegations were made by a Tik Toker named Piggy Stardust. Oh, god. No, you start us Tik Tok. Sorry, guys. Fired up. Stefan is suing Piggy for liable slander and defamation. So I wanted to clarify that everything we've said on this broadcast is alleged, alleged for sure, an opinion. Opinion of Piggy Stardust. Right. What we got with Piggy? Well, she's 29, not in binary, ASD, parent of a peacine, BLM, trans lives matter, LGBT, Q plus. Okay. I can see his lady. She's on those epic now. She's not as funny. What? Yeah, that's fucking pissing me off, dude. His body pause was about to kick out the club. Oh, villain move. So she went. Oh boy, the lady looks like. Give them Mike. Give it. Oh, man, I don't give a fuck about this lady's car. Jesus Christ. I thought he'd update me on paradise. Just what you guys know, I have a car now. I'm going to go back. It's 2020, right? Piggy Stardust. She's still even Piggy Stardust. She just started. It's a miss. It's miss Stardust. It's a margin Marie. Well, to get so fat because your identity is so funny. It's called me Piggy. So is that one have no plus? I mean, not, you know, well, she's not plus sized anymore. She's not worried about it. I don't think. What the hell? Yeah, I'm trying to get back crazy to drop in the fucking paradise. Just that's crazy. There are screenshots attached to the, I don't know, conversations and messages with Alexandria Pork Chop Gillin. They got good names. They got really good names. Pork Chop. There's camera footage. So basically, I think you put all of his court evidence on the website on the location to page. So the non-paradise. Yeah, he's brought in for certain paradise. It's a little margarita bill. So, but that babe was after him, but then she seemed like a, I mean, given the tags you gave me on a profile, seems like she's kicking up dust online again. She's a dust kicker. But if a dust kicker, septum piercing, I've always said I never get I rarely I should say rarely get along with septum piercers. And she had like a big septum pierc. It wasn't like the bigger. It was the bigger it is. At least we get along, dude. It was like full hoop ring. Like it was hoop earring. It was, I don't know what it is, dude. Our, our, my, I'm just not aligned every time. And I have nothing, I have nothing against them. It's just every time I like, I even like the way it looks sometimes, but it's always a text. I know this, my brother is, though, it's the isn't up. I know it lays underneath. They have the opposite values to me, like almost completely a. Yeah. Well, I like don't care about family. True that. I like a little nose, a little nose ring here. Yeah. Ally. As soon as I see the septum, I'm like, we're going to have a prop. You're not going to fight. We're going to battle. Literally, we are. We're, we're unaligned on every single thing you possibly imagined. I saw some, you guys hear about what's happening with CBS. No, they fired Chris. He was an anchor for their, like, news show. I don't know. I think it was actually 60 minutes. It was the anchor for 60 minutes. They fired him. Chris, the fuck is Chris? Chris, probably or something. I can't remember. What's their name? Melinda Barry Weiss. Barry Weiss. I remember that lady. She, she runs CBS now. What? Yeah. And she fired. She's firing. She's trying to make CBS sellable. And they hired her because really going to sell it to fucking like Buzzfeed. Paramount. Yeah. That's, there's a, it's a company called Sky. That's why it's co-bear got fired. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Cause he called them out for, for, um, for, was a bribing Trump. So that Skydance can buy Paramount. Like who bribed Trump? Skydance, the company. Four. So they can buy Paramount because Trump's in charge of the FCC. And I want to try to keep it away from being him. Oh, okay. I'm an athlete. And they fired co-bear because he was yapping. And they kept saying he didn't make any money, which doesn't make any sense. They sold his spot to Byron Allen. So like, now the 11 o'clock spot is a paid spot for Byron Allen. He's paying to be. Who is Byron Allen? I saw that guy took over co-bearer spot. Comic unleash, uh, he owns the weather channel. He's like a all one. That guy owns a weather channel. The weather channel. Bro, I fucking, I heard that guy owns the weather channel. I kind of love that. Yeah. It's him. It's, I go from doing Steve up to you own the weather channel. I don't know who Byron Allen was. And then someone who's just telling me the comics and leash guy owns a weather channel. I was like, what a fucking beast. That's such a foresight to buy the weather channel. It's worth nothing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And now, so what's he talking about? Is he talking weather? It's just comics unleashed. It doesn't show. It's like a old show he brought back. I want to see him talk weather on there. I mean, I mean, I, I believe it that a lot of people weren't watching Stephen Colbert. I think a lot of people. I don't think so. And then even if they're watching it there, they're making money off the YouTube of the Twitter. That's right. I think you chose. Yeah. Because that's what I'm saying. The late, those late night shows, I don't think that many people tune in, but then the clips online do well. Yeah. Yeah. But even still though, I don't think it like like how much do they have like the whatever they did. They probably have the yeah. What were the, I don't think they were great. I mean, I'm sure people watch, but like what's great on TV right now? Nothing. Everything's streaming. Yeah. If you want to be like, if you want to challenge me to try to find and watch Stephen Colbert any show like that at nighttime. Yeah. I would, it would take me an hour to research and figure out how to see it. Like actually on TV and all you got to do is go like this. He'd been how to get the channel. I don't, I don't have a conflict. I don't have fucking. So it's like, I wouldn't even, I couldn't even tell you how to watch that. I was trying to get this first game when we were watching a, when we were doing stand-up as we can, we're like, that took me. That was tough. CSP. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Disney apparently. Since I have Disney, I was able then, but then they put on YouTube TV and it worked. Yeah. That's pretty much does. Yeah. Let me see. What was Colbert's ratings? I don't, I don't, you know, I'm not against the guy. I just, I don't think they were, I don't think anyone watches except for geezers. His finale recorded a series high of 6.74 million. Well, show the fuck live plus same-day viewers. What's the average though the average? Let me look that up if it's less than two million Go ahead cancel it, but if it's more than that, you think less than two is still cancelable. Yeah, like what if it's like 1.5 I was pretty good. Yeah, actually if it's less than one it's canceled my thing is if you have a YouTube thing if you're doing a meal I mean, it's only take it back if that's the case I thought I love the frills like a thousand people Because I don't know a single person stays up and watches any late night. No, I can't I don't know a single person has been like I was watching this last night on TV Are they including web views with that too? I'm not sure. I'm not sure, but it says his average His average viewers per night hovered around 2.5 million. That's good That's very good. Yeah, it's just scam. He's getting fucking well, even if you had if you had a thing on YouTube that had 700,000 You know views every week. They're still make a lot of money every day every day is crazy. Yeah, cuz co-bear is on every day Yeah, you're right. That's pretty nuts. I had no idea the viewership was still rocking that hard Yeah, maybe got fucking yeah, everyone I still have you two money because I think they do show like clips when you two shows you two money coming in big time I thought for sure it was in like honestly like tens of thousands like So he was just good background only shit like I used to walk long I would put on like I would put on whatever that that kind of shit. Just nothing or real game. That's good to sleep to For sure now dude, I like I listen to like AI slop when I go I got tricked. I didn't know I'd watch these videos on YouTube It's like fall asleep to all of St. Augustine's writings ever and I just put it on I pass out and I looked it up I'm like this is all fucking AI Yeah, it's just an AI summary some guy gave an AI voice That's a god damn it. I'm getting tricked by a a a I slop If you invest your time in making a I slop there's bags to be made. It just doesn't feel good. Yeah, he doesn't these videos get like 30 I got hundreds of thousands of views and I looked it up in the very end of the thing And it was like generated by a I blah blah blah because you can get you could I could do it right now I can be like hey write up a summary of any historical figure and then you feed it to another one Like hey, do like get like a nice voice acting old voice and then it's like bam you have a fucking good did just give it the clip Whatever visuals you want to be in there. Yeah, yeah, you make one where you make the thing and you go to one Where you're like review this and then you go to one where you're like let's do the audio. Yeah, no, I got it was I was listening. I'm like man, this guy knows stuff Then I've read the description. I was like mother freaker. There is something about it that I really I don't know When I hear it. I'm like, it makes me not want to listen to him not even own like a you know like moral thing It's like this is wrong. I just go like something about it. It feels wrong. It feels like when I play the computer in a video game And I'm like, why am I doing this? I'm playing the computer I'm playing against the computer and I go this is dumb I feel I just feel so alone. That's what it is. I feel so lonely. I go man. Yeah, do you know if you're averaging 2.5 million viewers a day That's bigger than like every big TV show No, barely not because they were the other ones. They didn't cancel. It's not bigger than gut-filled The thing about that is gut-filled is at a different time slot. It's earlier PM. Yeah, but he averages 3.3 mil. He's the highest average 700 that's still though like whole barrel is averaging 2.5 million and gut-filled 3.3. That's what the Google says They're like right there. They're meck and meck. I can't win. It's almost a mill but still close like it's still neither ones cancel Neither one is still in all that there's a million people watching either of these shows. I think I bet I mean it could be a hundred percent of viewership in the New York City You still have like leftover people I bet it's the same people watching both No way to get the fuck out of here. I bet there's a crossover. You think my parents stop watching gut fell and talks Versa that's not happening. Yeah, no fucker has to say Absolutely not even happening. They don't even know it's on then dude you watch gut-filled You don't even you probably haven't seen Stephen Colbert in years the mess 2.5 million separate people Who could like who just got fucked for no reason? They're gonna watch Byron now. They're gonna go get Byron shot They're gonna they're gonna fucking camel Byron's falling off the Stand-up a big drop in viewerships since Byron has taken over. Yeah Cuz it's just a stand-up now because it's comics and leash nobody wants to watch it shit But it's like he pays he knows he has to pay for the spot. He's paying for the spot Bros. We know are on the show and we don't want to watch him I thought it was I thought it was stand-up interviewed, but it's not no it's like well all right Wait here is he's like Matt. I hear you got some children. Oh, yeah Like that's all the show is they can't you do bets basically. Yeah, I hear you I hear you don't want mixed kids You're so good at this. How do you even know Norm Mcdonald famously said comics unleashed? I've never seen comedians more Kimmel and in Colbert apparently had had been going back and forth Kimmel averages around 2.5 mil. Yeah, so now I hope probably take over. Yeah, but Jimmy Fallon He's he's struggling. Yeah, foul dog struggling. He's at 1.3 mil He's he's a million under each of them first. Yeah, even put Seth Myers in this but Seth Myers average is about the same They should really think about doing something complete like they should just kill Late-night talk show and come up with something totally different. Yeah podcasts on Netflix. Yeah Or mostly street challenge It's such a better thing to end the day with you don't want to watch net You don't want to watch politics for you to bet. Yeah, it's still worse. You want to watch Chinese guys jump over logs Yes, I can do it. No, then you fall asleep. I don't get MXC. Yeah, the most street challenge I love it. We can do MXC dude MXC. I actually I have a proposition for you guys I think now that I'm on my fitness journey where I'm again burning the most calories a month I'm I'm on part of burn 37,000 calories this month. Yeah, pretty sick. Yeah, I've been rocked to have been rocking and rolling But I think now we should do a presidential fitness challenge between you guys You three should do presidential fitness challenge winner gets a thousand bucks Two weeks to prepare I can't run. I'm not just a mile. It's my I don't have to look it up I might look at the thing my 100-foot shuttle shuttle run, right shuttle run. Yeah, you got a run pull-ups You've ever wins. It's gonna be scored. We can even set different metrics. We can do swim bike run. I can't do pull-ups. I can't swim Where's the strength stuff at where's the like lifting and throwing We can definitely set up parameters that fair. I can push I can pull I can lift I can throw I can push I can lift I can throw it should be in my opinion scrap presidential it should be strength speed endurance I got a dors you got a dors. I never don't quit I was laughing about a fitness challenge being a three of you I would do that. I would do that, but I don't think I'd be very good. That's the whole point Watching Lamar sink mid-lab would be nice Nate's ass swimming racies the swimming race would be the do swimming so Fuck it hard. If you have it like swam race and you try it it looks insane. I think I might start the scrappy art for fitness challenges Dude's completely unprepared. I'm like all right. Let's race. Did you see a guy? Yeah, stop the cast. Oh, yeah Make station white shout out gas station white gas station white. You lost to the guy though. He failed the endorse That guy solo the guy fought in that video. He always does he just gets he's drunk Let's get beat up and head kicks the guy and they're like I'm done. I can't fuck this guy anymore He was throwing a spitted back face. He was just doing shit. Hold on back to your guys is race. I'll change African America. I think it'd be fun. I think it'd be fun. Yeah, I think it'd be a lot of fun. I'd be a hoot, dude We have to think about it, but it was always my least favorite week in gym. What the the test week. Oh the test Do as low as possible. Yeah, I was funny. I would hold I was hanging from the pull up bar and go And then I'd walk as slow as I could for the right here like dude. This is as best as I can do Our teacher gets so fucking bad dude. I says as far as I can get the teacher's life for me. Maybe like seven minutes. Oh That's 12. Yeah, I remember I clocked like a 24-minute mile and the guy was so mad. I was like dude. I'm out of breath. Do we do I think I remember mine. I just blew like I just sprinted as fast as I could the first lap and then just Yes, then just walked for five. It was like six laps total. I got one good lap and Yeah, I went into straightaway. It's pretty hard. And then the fucking curves and a Arthas a regular circle My straightaway was probably like 20 seconds each, but that circle was like a minute Hey guys, let's take a quick break from the show for a special segment. been called more or less presidential flight night edition brought to you by PricePix. On June 14th, some of the biggest names in MMA are headed to the White House and you can make your MMA picks on PricePix. And to celebrate this historic card, PricePix is dropping a sugar shawano Malley discount, which means less strikes still cash. Okay. Okay. But let's put the gloves on. Who's winning the, who's winning in the south lawn? Well, we're putting the gloves on to talk about who's winning in the south lawn. Matt, I'm looking at the card right now and it's, it's a lot of these fights are pretty one side. I'll tell you what do you mean? Diego Lopez beat Steve Garcia. You think that? Yeah. Yeah. A bone nickel cow dalkis. I think cow dalkis beats bone nickel because he's bones Marie seal roofie versus Michael Chandler. Roofie wins because Michael Chandler always lets everyone down. Just hope she's versus, this is the truth. Okay. Just hope. versus Derek Lewis. Derek Lewis beats. Josh. I might disagree with you. Well, I'm telling you. Derek Lewis. Oh, the gloves are on. The black, the black beast wins because of racism of shawano Malley. Oh, no. Tommy. What? Why do you think? Josh Hoke could just beat Curtis Blades and one of the best fights of the year by because he priced me a price picks didn't want to look like a broken leg or something or a broken head. I'll take the gloves off. I'll just like. Thanks for the gloves off. The gloves are off. Yes, you can't you can't attack him. I'm telling you, do it. Hoke, Hoke is losing. Derek is going to win this. Hoke is losing. Who's the main event? The main event. We have a couple of Charter Malley losers. Alex Pererwin. Oh, Charter Malley's going to lose to who? Zahabi. Okay. He's going to lose to a Canadian. I don't know. And then Alex Perervers is still gone. I guess Alex Pererwin's. Okay. Yeah. What's the main event? Is Elliott's a choreo versus Justin Gachi. And I would love to say Justin Gachi wins this fight, but Elliott's a choreo is going to smoke him. Oh, Elliott's a choreo. It's too nasty. Only one way to find out, only one way to find out price picks watching the cards. Guys. And let me just tell you something. Okay. So that's our take. Now it's time to lock in yours. Make all of your picks for the White House card, which did you ever believe when you're a little boy, even uttering these things, make all your picks for the White House card. And every sport on price picks from player picks to team picks, it's all on price picks. Download the price picks app today and use code drenched to get $50 in lineups. After you play your first $5 lineup, yes, 50 bucks. When you play your first five price picks, America's number one sports picks app. Hey, everybody. It's me. I'm going to show his bill June 24th Columbia, South Carolina, June 23rd. I just added a show at the Harrisburg Comedy Zone, August 6th, I think, or seventh. So please come to the zone. Let's fucking sell out the zone. They got a paint chain on the zone. That's got a history. Spectacle. They haven't put his face on. That's what I'm there for. That's what I'm there. Yeah. Yeah. And after we're knocked, this June 23rd, it's going to be a goddamn heater. All right. Guys, 626, that means June 26th and 27th, I will be at the Stardom Comedy Club in Birmingham, Alabama. Sorry about Huntsville, it didn't work out, guys. But I will be in Birmingham, Alabama, 626, 627. I originally, for some reason, said that that got canceled, I was thinking of Huntsville. It is going down at Birmingham. That is a fact. 626, 627. I'm off the month of July. But then in August 7th, I'll be in San Jose, California, August 7th and 8th. And then in August 13th, I'll be at the Spokane Comedy Club in Spokane, Washington. Please come, mammacoser.com. Pay attention to me. Hello. I'm coming back to Good Nights in Raleigh on August 27th. And then I'll be in Charleston, South Carolina at Whits and Comedy Club, August 28th and 29th. Please come with me. 27th is my birthday. You're not going to be able to hang out. I'm sorry, man. But I got to be in Raleigh at Good Nights, come with me. Please come. Thank you guys very much. Enjoy the rest of the program. I'll tell you guys, you'll see, when you turn 40, something kicks in, you get this weird sense of like, I need to push my body to the limits. It hit me so hard. As soon as I turn 40, I was like, I need to go all out. It sure hurts. Like, I don't know. I've been keeping it to myself. I've been working out a little bit. I say nothing. But my biceps right now have been hurting for like two days, you know, I've been working on a sore a little bit, but not like a usual when I was younger, where the sore feels good. Like, this is like, it hurts. I think I tore something. It does. I mean, that's all it is. You do make microtairs, but dude, I started when I, I guess I moved here about two and a half years ago and I was, I would, I could never work out consistently. I don't know what it was. I would never do it. So then I started it and I started like, I didn't realize how deeply out of shape you get. Yeah, I always like, I exercise sometimes I was deeply out of shape. And then you, it takes like a year just to get like able to like fully run a couple of miles. Something they consider like is pretty normal. I couldn't, I couldn't run a full mile. I know I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. And then you get, once you can do that, it takes a while to build that up or like, yeah, actually work out without getting like super shin splints and just like, you're like, I can't even move. Took me a full year to be able to actually work out consistently, like physically handle being able to work out. Like, you know, take like three months, really like, you feel the challenge, dude. I mean, put it on, put it on rain, but I've been working, I've been working too. You have basketball a lot. Beball is helpful. Yeah. Good. I wonder, I wonder how, again, you guys don't have to do this if you don't want, but I wonder how you have to, you'd have to figure out a way to do it where everyone has a shot and they'll be, they'll be very funny. We got to do it in athletics when I can, I'm the most athletic kind of list. But what, what are the metrics? You're talking, we don't speed, jump it, like, like, well, like sports, I guess, right? You bounce. Oh, so like, you have to have the shooting contest, like, like a, like a, like what is it? What's it called? What was the football thing, point, kick pass? Point kick pass. Yeah. PKP. Yeah. Yeah. I think you were out of PKP. I think I would, I think I would do a great point. Point would be nice. The point. That was the game at Chuck E. Cheese where he threw the fucking, that was that game. The game, the security with the little, little balls, the ball, but dude, I got, I got sent it. Well, first of all, I just turned 40 and it instantly kicked in. It was just like, dude, I got to fucking push it as hard as I can. I'm still in it right now. I'm literally going nuts, working out, but it's kind of fun. You're attracted. Dude, dude, dude, why, why won't my fat leave my body? Why won't my bitches leave? It's crazy. It has to feel crazy. What are you doing? It's insane. I don't, I don't eat pretty healthy, man. I, I really, really do. I mean, every now and again, do I eat a little too much, obviously, but like, exactly. It's not that bad. It's, for me, it's been eye-opening to be like, dude, it's so fucking hard. Especially, I guess at 40, you can say, it's so hard to get shredded, like so hard. It's almost, I won't say impossible, because it's possible. It's so much harder than you think. Damn. You have to get on my shit, bro. No, no shit. I'm not on my shit. But I will say, the reason, the reason I'm going hard right now is I have, I got a life insurance thing where they're now, I can't do zins, I can't do any of that stuff, because you have to pay a serious premium. So if you're taking zins or even like, well, smoking, obviously, but now even zins, if they detect nicotine in your system, you have to pay like 50%. I don't have a fucker in your system. Oh, nicotine, it's like anything else. No, no, I mean, the blood insurance, they go through all of this. They're, they're literally, they have to pay your family if you, like a lot, if you die. So then they go, all right, we'll do this, but we, they, I didn't realize they do a very invasive check, like, there's a chance, this is what I'm training for. I might have to go on the 50 cent treadmill with like the mask and shit, and just fully ball out for a doctor, which I'm, I'm trying to get freak status. Yeah. I'm trying to get preacher. I'm trying to get them to go, what's the fuck? What a, what's your video, was that in the club? Yeah. I always think I was like, I want to do ever since I saw a video, I want to do one of those tests from the doctor. So bad put on the mask and just go fucking nuts. Man, this is the thing. They just don't want to give any money. Yeah. That's literally, yeah, that's a whole fucking point. But like, that's not what insurance is for insurance is for life or shorts. I know. But I mean, like, all the sources of all the type of same type of fucking scam, where it's like, we're going to take care of you. But if your blood work is a little bit down when you die, I'm charging more, that's okay. They're going to pay you, but you got to pay more, it's, it's all just a mathematical formula. Yeah. They go, okay, we have all the data. If you display these characteristics, you're this much, much more likely to die, therefore, you got to pay us more. I mean, here's the check. Like what are the hobbies? Like if you like extreme sports or I don't know, what's the value of a life? Depends, depends how much, literally depends how much you pay them. So it's like, if you pay them more, they'll give you more when you die. So I, you know, it's like, my life is priceless. They agree. I can't afford to pay me enough. You got to. Yes. Whoever gets a degree and go fine, we just won't go into the death business with you. I'm in the death business right now. I'm doing it for 10 years. I'm going to do a 10 year insurance policy and just pray that I'm not, I won't need life insurance. That's my plan. I'm going to get life insurance. I'm going to start it. That's why my kids are little as a safeguard in order to do it. I have to take life insurance. Hey, man. You know, if you give me $100,000, if you give me $2,000 a month until for the next 10 years, I'll make sure when you die, you have of $100,000. That's what that's what life insurance is doing. Yeah, but they will actually pay. No, they won't. They make you go to the test. Oh, they don't. No, they don't. No, they get rated. These places get assessed. They're rated. There's places that have they have they track what percent pays out. I mean, isn't that what a mystery dinner long came polly? Wasn't he that guy? Like he would. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was his whole job was to like see how much you're in the 90s early 2000s. Okay. Yeah, dude, they they actually pay. They really will. I mean, if they're sur how? I'm sure as people get out of the hook just like the Gerber, baby, the Gerber, baby definitely paid the Virgin guy Gerber, maybe you ever remember Gerber, maybe your parents would get like a like child insurance, you pay them every month until you turn the until you get turn 18 or something and they get like a lump sum of money. That's different. Insurance as an investment. That's a different thing and that that's actually it's unregulated. So if you sell insurance as an investment, you're not beholden to the SEC. So there they call there's, you know, I'm not going to say the name of the place. I'm selling life insurance as an investment. Just start it right now. I'm just right now. Yeah. I'm going to get it all. You can't. You're not back. If you guys want, you're making your point. I hear your point. I hear your point. You're hitting me with bus stop rumbling. I know how the life insurance policy, it's like fucking astrophysics, the numbers, it's so fucking complicated. I agree. It's kind of bullshit, but at the same time, you don't need to take it out. Do they have the same numbers of Affleck? Like you know how like if you get hurt in the Affleck, like you lose a finger, you get so much money. No, it's like it's it's them going, we'll give you what you pay. If you want X, you got to pay us X amount because most people don't die. So they're like, they just get money. I'm saying like during those years, when you're younger, they get all these people are like, we're getting all this money. Then people die. They don't fucking hear it. Give them. He's giving these guys money. But if you're having so many, like if you have all of these 40 year olds giving you life insurance money, the percentage of 40 year olds that die is way lower than I think they would say. I think they'll say a lot. Never know what I'd do. I'd say a lot. The whole idea of insurance is not to give you anything. Well, they, they do. Well, this is them. They try to maximize profit and they will set up things when they make it harder to get it pay out, which is annoying. And then they'll do a thing where it's like, ah, well, dude, your insurance, like homeowners will be like, ah, your shit got fucked up, but that your roof got messed up. That could have been for like, if it's animal damage, it'll be like, we don't cover anything from the earth sign family. So they'll be like, if like, say a raccoon, if like a raccoon, fucks up your roof, they'll be like, we covered more for like a road and infestation. So they will do bullshit like that. 100 bucks. Acts of God. Dude, we got storms or something. Is that like a whole term? Acts of God. They have some, they have some BS. I actually funny enough, last night, dreamed, I tackled an insurance executive. And as I tackled him, I was like, hey, at least someone didn't shoot you, the people, other people will shoot you. It was a fucked up dream, but I'm really waking up from being like, I must be really pissed about this insurance. I must want my fucking little Nicknack naturals, dude. That's why I'm so mad right now. I literally can't do them. I'm, I'm in a deep subspace right now because of health insurance. I'm so subbed out to insurance companies. I'm being dominated. It's so hard. We're like, I'll sit down to write it my laptop and I'm like, I want my fucking Zins, man. And I'm like, you're being finned armed. I'm being indombed. I'm being indombed. It's really insurance dominated. Apparently if they catch you doing them, they can just be like, yep, we're out of here. Thanks for your money. You're going. But even they keep the money you had. If I get the non, which I, I don't have, I, again, I've said on record, nicotine's not addictive. I got off it. No problem. But it's like, I really isn't that hard. I didn't think it was that hard. But if they catch you consuming nicotine while you're being covered, they could, in theory, sever the thing. Yeah. Yeah. Now to fulfill the, I just chew coffee beans while I do stuff. Gives me that same feeling of like, you know, I like, I like inserting that thing, Paul's in and mildly. So yeah, right now I'm being completely subbed out and I'm paranoid. Now I'm going like, damn, like, fuck, you hear about people getting like killed for like a year. Yeah. I'm like, my wife might kill my friends. Yeah. You got to sleep with your eyes. Kind of man. I'm kind of being like, yeah, I told her that I said that it's like now I'm like, even just questioning. I'm like, dude, for real. I was just, she got really upset at me. But I was like, it's a lot of upside to me dying for this. I'm like, it's kind of peace of mind being like, bro, if I just die, it's a huge bag for the whole family. It's like, don't talk like that. Oh, I don't know. It makes me feel kind of good to be like, fuck it, man, the plane goes down sucks. But like, kids are cool. Chug, chug, ching for the fan. Chug, chug. Don't think like that. I'm thinking like that. I'm hoping you're not fucking thinking like that. Yeah. You ever see the show? There's a show called BTF St. Louis, where that's like, yeah. What is the show about? Is it about that? More, well, guys getting cucked and then his wife gets insured to make she plans to kill him. He gets caught. The bull, the bull basically is like, let's kill your dumb ass husband and take the money. No, no, no, no, they're like bull in the cuck are back all things. It's a great show. I know what I'm saying. The friend is the bull. My thing is like, they also flip, like they all know and everybody knows too. They also flip it and the bull becomes the cut. What? Yeah. Like, he, like he, they were closet watching, like, you know, yeah, the closet and the closet eventually, the cut was like, I just don't feel like part of this. Can we switch it up? Cause it was his wife. He's like, I still want to, you know, fuck yeah, I want to be the bull. And then the wife, he was like the saddest thing of all time. The wife just was like, nah, so then he didn't become the bull that he asked to be on the bull. He asked me come the bull and the wife was like, no shot. Well, you first of all, you can't ask me come the bull. You got to be the bull. You just got to be out there. You got to be out there grazing. You didn't do that. That's where you blew it. My thing is, if you're going to cuck me, cuck me, don't kill me. That's my thing. Please don't kill me. Don't kill me. No, no, no, they didn't kill. I remember it now. They get to the end. I don't want to spoil the show. That's fine. I'm never going to watch it. But they, I mean, I heard it's a great show. I heard it's amazing. It's really good. So he was getting cocked. There's a lot of domes in it though. Be prepared for dawn. A lot of dawn. A lot of dawn. Son of a great show. I'm down. Through all the great shows. A lot of them. Game of Thrones. Actually, it made us just game of throws. Eyes. I was at a lot of dawn. Yeah, they're in jail. Sopranos had minimal if no dawn. I'd give it one. I can't think of one. It makes sense. There's a scene where like when A.J. is getting dressed, you people is done. No. I'm kidding. He was like a boy. No dawn in the Sopranos. But they did have a big pussy. Did they have a pussy in his brain? A guy's name. A guy's name. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're kids in Sopranos. Yeah. A lot of them. A lot of them. Being. That's a style. That's a, you know, that's some stylization. I can get into like, is there probably like here we're going to be one of the greats? We got to show dog. It was just two tits. Tits are rocking. There is something so classical about showing dog in the show. You almost got to do it at a certain point. But everybody loves tits. Everyone loves tits. But everyone fears and respects a dog. Yeah. They're watching your babies. Baby dog. Fuck. Do they show that one? Sometimes they're like, go in the show. Sometimes they hit you a lot of you're like, perfect. Westworld is just a dong shower. Westworld. All the robots are there. You're going to hit me with that. Flask that. Yeah. Why don't they even fucking give them their robots? Make them kindos. Why don't you jump? Yeah. Why are they fucking those robots? That was a thing. Yeah, they're fucking the robots. Oh, you had a, like a crazy flash that it earlier was. You should give every robot a pussy. Do robots go robots a pussy. I think the one that kicked the boy. You don't want that one? The boy can get his kid back. Okay. Return 18 son. You're going to get your get back on that robot. The fucking robot pussy. That kid's going to be the terminator, but he's going to save us. Yeah. John Connor. We were talking earlier that kick must have hurt so bad. It didn't look like a mistake either. It looked like perfect. It was good. That kick was the kick was intentional. I don't think the kid was supposed to be the target though. So it was like a turnaround. I sold the kick. It's like a turnaround. It wasn't a fucking dance kick. It was like a tornado kick. Yeah. That was like a fucking MMA kick. If he hit him with one of these, like that. Tee-hee. Like yeah. Like the back of his remarks. Outman. I was hitting the outman so hard last night after I saw the Michael Jackson movie. If a robot, if a robot hits the damn question mark kick, we're cooked. I would fake it. I would fall. I would fall right into it. Oh. Also, it's metal. You're just getting caded. Dude, I apparently do it like, I mean, it's heavy machinery. It's different. But like getting hit with like metal. I've walked it. It didn't even move. I was walking and it was a mini excavator. And I walked into the bucket and hit my head. Yeah. And I was in her. I was like, out. It's like no give whatsoever. So it's. If one of those machines is digging and like nudges you a little bit, you go flying. Yeah. Because they're so strong. It's like, you got to start putting some fucking flesh and bone on those things. Yeah. Make a week. Maybe you have to, maybe all robots have to be BBW. Oh, safety. And then they can crush you. Paradox. That's what I do. You tried it a little fucking, you know, his mother play. And I get crushed. Oh. I watched it. I watched that guy's video. The fart guy. You would tell it. Oh, dude. Might be the best. That was the interview. The interview is amazing. It's so good. What's the fart guy? He talks about. Oh, you weren't here last weekend. right last week there's a guy I'll just say a guy on soft 100 belly fart fed Oh, might have put out the best interview all time and they're talking in earnest about here when he talks about gay farts I don't remember the gay farts. They're talking gay farts and he goes well That's like part of the there's like a privilege to be in gay where like gay farts are way more abundant and straight farts Lady farts are tougher. Yeah, cuz if you want farts. Yeah, you're saying if you're gay and you have a fart fetish You're in you know, it's fart paradise. Yeah, it's just you can I mean you can get more farts out of a guy I would this he him go like hard like I'm not gay when they ask them Like what is he and then he also got real like he was like I think I may sexual but I don't think that guy's Exxual I think he poured himself into just Yeah, I also don't know why a lot of those guys like to try to like you think it necessarily has to do with their upbringing Like cuz it's his link to the upbringing was weak. It was just like bro if like his mom like Grounded him and farted on his head or whatever. Yeah, I think all right. You can have a fair case But it was just like yeah, my parents farted. It doesn't mean you're gonna want to fuck you sexually in the farts My dad farted all the time. I can't again. I'm a I'm a no-go zone on lady fart. That's for that's for that was supposed to for That's what you have to for I was dude. I was lighting it up last night So bad you supposed to have your family like your couch and everyone feel your fart Hi dude. I I was in the closet. I'd go into like the closet. I'd leave the bedroom Hit the closet and just fart and from our closet my wife still could hear and be like oh my god That's terrible And they were they were hot It might be stinking too I think I've not been buried cheese. Huh you eat milk and cheese. I do, but it's never been a Like I don't do too much of it like I'm you know, I get a little little pizza some time You know the percentage of people will act out some tolerance. That's crazy high. It's like 60 80 percent That's the thing too. Everyone's I I'm among them if I I if I have milk or cheese pastorize I fucking fart even if I have raw cheese. I fart so fucking hard. I can have raw milk. I have no side effects If I have pasteurized milk, you know what everyone talks about other stuff and you can get whatever a disease from raw milk Nobody talks about the pasteurized milk farts Like they're crazy that it's like some of my worst is when I'm fucking with dairy I was doing it last night. It was hot farts all night Took a half an hour off in my sleeve Dude because it's like I just I dropped one in the middle of the night the night before woke the baby up again Give her like a sleep. I just ran it back she woke up one I was like god So then I was like I'm not gonna be a jerk. I got up. I was foreign or I'll do tiny like Wait a little bit and I'll safely kind of push it out But yeah, dude, I yeah, I also I I don't like girlfarts I almost want to see if we can come up with a drug to stop women from dreaming I don't like girl dreams either we deal with them because you have to deal with them the next week We will do it Yeah, not Julia smokes every day probably still has she still has she still catches you in the dream room It's all so cashm with them, but either even worse. So just want to tell me about It'll just be a useless story. Yeah, so if my dream is like yeah, who gives a shit. It's not real I get I get hit with like sleeping eruptors. We're all be like I'll be just drifting off and then last night Britney woke up and went like I'm never getting these nails ever again. They're hot And I'll do go to bed. I literally get angry. I'm like go to sleep She has fallen asleep But she'll wake up with nonsense. It's literally nonsense. It makes no sense And I'm like in that perfect thing. I'm like I'm drifting apart and it'll be like Oh, what's happening? I'm like shut up. I can say anything because she's not a slit. It's not awake Yeah, I can literally be like shut up. Go to bed. She's like You know you got to put like a Like a soft cushion here, so when she wakes up she hits it and then goes back. I can't stand the wake-ups kill me My lady scared the hell out of me the other day with one of those she woke up and she goes Sean doesn't know right now, but the camera's filming him. He's on camera right now and I was like what? She's just babbling about it. I realized she was asleep and I go you're scaring me. Go back And in that morning I woke her up with a fart That's good morning. Henry with the cockadoodle-doo That's good fart. Do the wake-up fun. Cockadoodle poo That's I spend at least one percent of our conversations is she's unconscious and being like Oh, and I'm like dude, stop it. Stop it now go. It's no stop it. It's not real. Go to bed Fuck I didn't realize how like Girls spiral without men Like if it's just like girls by themselves. They're like It would take him like a day to realize My grandfather was a demon was keeping me out of the house No one to tell him it was a dream. I got some dude's dream as a dude. That's like you know like Straight wolves became domesticated dogs as they were like lay by the thing and wake up and like hey people are coming Yeah, that's how dudes got to get that boozy. They got to lay there Yeah, that's not real dude. I was fucking just like I was staying up later because I'm a guy and I just chill and you fall asleep You start to tell you you're just peacefully sleeping like you're not being attacked by a demon right now Let me get some moving peasy You sure I'm sure that I got a had a dream. I had a sequel dream I don't even know what the fuck because like a couple of weeks ago I like dreamed about murdering somebody We've talked about it. I know I have who you that's like I can't watch like upset like horror movies because if I watch horror movies I'm gonna have like nightmares about it and I'm just gonna be like All right, I guess I live with the terrified now But yeah, I don't know who it was. I don't know how to kill somebody and then like this week. I was hanging out with you guys You're somewhere on the beach you're on the lake and then the cop came after me and I was like all right guys I gotta go don't worry about it Remember I killed somebody I think I like I think it was like for my baby It was disposed of the body Well, you're touch toucher and die. Huh toucher and dies a romanticy trope Toucher and die. It's one of the things women are really into if like if like someone touches this lady you kill her It's enemies the lovers toucher and die. There's a bunch of these things. They're very funny that in the dream like I like I didn't get arrested, but I was just was paranoid about the murder from the past dream I was like oh shit. I haven't even been thinking about this it's been like three weeks. I know they're all like That was that was me It was just knowing that they got to be coming. Yeah, I woke up at like eight in the work eight in the morning. I was like Are these am I did I kill someone in my sleep? I think I'm arrested. I just made fun of my babe. Tell him talking about dreams in our Just fully babe now It happens. It's their fault. They see he's put you're in the field. Yeah, so I'm in all the bullshit dude It's uh, I used to have prison dreams all the time. I used to have dreams and I was in prison I was arrested. I got in trouble and I was just in prison. I'd have to and every time I be in jail I'd be like I can get out of here. I'm like this is so dumb the way this is set up. I can definitely get out of here Give a break out. I remember it'd be like I could just walk out and then I just like get out and they'd be like Hey, you're it was like very everything was very slow. They'd be like You're supposed to be in jail right now and they'd be like oh fuck Go back to jail and walk back out and be like, uh-huh. Was this in the trapping these? Yeah, I would always get in trouble I would get in trouble or it have like a pound of weed in my basement that I had to get out But there was like cops around in my house, so I'd have to in my sleep. I'd be like all right I'll put a little bit in this thing and put it out here And I would just constantly try to fit and they'd be coming in and out trying to find it I'd be like It was like I'd have non-stop stress dreams the entire time It sucked and I remember my heart rate would like I'd wear an apple watch asleep And I would get like 130 heart rate and sleep all the time. I don't get it now. I'm chill That stinks. It's bad for you. Yeah. I don't have I feel like I almost never have like like for real for the most part I rarely have dreams that stick with me anymore like I don't know if it's my my lady will she'll have them every night And like would tell me about him if I let her I'll like it'll be like oh, I had a dream last night Yeah, it'll stand out to me every time I have a dream it means I'm not that high Wake up in the middle of the night. Oh, shit. I gotta kind of turn these off here. I used to have big We were being invaded by China dreams. I still have those Be like we were just be battling to be like I've been a city. We're turning to a war zone They're Russian China. We're attacking us Dude I was at the wall. I was like why am I at the wall It's like not the great wall. They're like border wall. Oh really? Yeah, I was like why am I at the wall then it's not fucking Chinese people's It is funny to think that like China tries to get into a country they like walk through Mexico and they're like When they remember that bay route explosion that was like crazy big when that happened It was like a part of me. I was like that wasn't that wasn't the facts. We that was a little nuke like for like and I had like a couple, I could like a week or so of just waking up and it was the sun will be coming through the blinds and the way away, but it'd be the first thing I see. And I would think it's just like nuke. Why not, Flan? Like, why not, Flan? What's that? You fart first. I got last night, I had sex, thank God, I was sick. And then I was holding in. And I had those nasty dairy farts, so I was like, I just sucked them into my body. I was like, I can't fart during sex. So I successfully, successfully like absorb all my farts, had sex, thank God it in far while I was coming. It'll happen to me. It'll happen to me. Fucking more. Yeah, wait, you'll see. Turbo code. Bro, what's happening with you? I can't tell you how many times I farted all day. During hand jobs, especially. In hand jobs, you're like, whatever, you're like, it's never happened to any of you guys. I definitely had to like think about not farting. It's happened to me many times. I definitely pushed a fart into an in-matchness. I've flinched before. So I made it navigate through, nice, no-come-farts, policy, and then I go, immediately afterwards, I walked into the bathroom and just was like, he just completely let it out and it was, I mean, damage was done and it's over. Was it more satisfying to come in, just be like, oh, it was nice, I'm sorry. I walked in and I was like, holy shit, dude. I got a little glimpse of paradise. Yeah, the fat farts. That guy was swimming in some fat farts. He probably loved all-geven. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I saw something I ran paradise. Although, maybe not. Check his fucking testimonials, maybe he's like, didn't like the farts whatsoever. You know, when the cop, I remember the cop from the dream, like, it was like a lesbian lady with blonde hair. Whoa. And I don't know why it was that lady. You know, short hair, it was like a dyke cop, like, white lady, bloody, bloody. It was white lady. White lady. Cool. Yeah. And you had a white lady cop on your ass? Yeah, I don't even know why, because I was watching Midwest safety. I think that would have been, I was watching Midwest safety. It was so funny. There was this one. This is racist guy. I know he was racist because like, he fought black guys and he was like harassing them. That's what the cops are. They go, he gets beat up. He gets hit in the haze bleeding from the said he's in his house. They go to cops go to his house and he's like, you gotta let me go outside. Oh my God. I saw that guy. Well, also when I heard the whole time he was ramping up to the end word, you know, he did it. For sure. He had it a couple times. He had the stars and bars in his house. They go into his house, full stars and bars, and he's just in there like, I want, I want outside now. I love people, I don't say I want to go outside there. I want outside and he kept hitting it and hitting it and they're like, he's like that black punk outside. I'm going. All right. He's working. It's coming. The coffee machine's percolated. That's when you go to take a side bet with somebody real quick over under he says, oh, yeah, when you said racist, you know, it's like racist guy gets beat up by the police. So I'm, I'm going like, all right. Let's see. Ever watch it for the same reason. Let's see how. Let's see how he does this. And the black guy on the guy is like, Hey, man, I literally love you. Yeah. It's like his home. Yeah. And nothing but love. I don't think they're homies. I think he shoved it while they shoved him. Those guys could be bros to their neighbors. Yeah. But he shoved them. That was the thing. That guy shoved the black dude and the black dude, fucking him a big weld on his head. He was bleeding. He had a, it was wailing jinnings on the confederate flag. And it said something like if slavery wasn't here, we would have made it. Really? Cool. Yeah. Yeah. He calls his mom. The video starts mom. Yeah. Bring everybody. Bring the whole family. Yeah. Yeah. It is. It is a scary folk on the next. Now his mom shows up. Just like mom. Come on. He's like mom. He's like getting mad at the cops. He's trying to resist the rest. He's like, you, you're hurting me. Mom. Mom. Dude, most of those midwife safety videos, it's a grown man. They get arrested. They go mom. It's, it's, it's literally is like it's an adult tampon. I mean, it's like you, you're beyond your faculties and you're just being like just like your parents. So you have like zero power. It must feel good. Get out of full adult spans. Probably honestly. Try for mommy in these. Oh. And then they're like, you know your joke. I don't give up every single time. And you're just getting to do full like, man, just someone's trying to hold you down to get to go. I literally remember my older brother's beating me up and being like, that's the best. Just reject how nurses little brother kick. That's the last offense before you get your ass absolutely beat. It passed your guard and then you know what the guard. Fried dude. So I saw another crazy one. It was like a Hispanic guy. He trapped his white lady in the house, but like he like chained her to the floor. Oh. Like it was like, he had, he had like rooms in his house and like it was crazy. But my thing was, I feel like they did it to people together and then she cheated on him because these both, these both look like pieces of shit. You should have never unchained her. Yeah. Well, the cops have chained her. The cops have chained her. She's gonna fucking cheat on this guy again. Well, that's what he said. He's like, she cheater. I mean, she's being dramatic and chained herself and then he loves, yeah, but then she like kicked out the window and called it like the neighbors called the cops kind of believe him. He said she was a spanish. I want to he was Spanish. I believe him more because he, because then the cops showed up the arrest of me and he was like, I told him about being on Monday. So him and his baby, his baby was chained up with the cops out there. Yeah. Yeah. Like he was saying she changed herself. Yeah. Because she was being dramatic because she cheated on him around the neck like, like just a chain wrapped or like a lock with like, it was a master lock in the chain. And then it was like bolted into the ground like master lock, but the also the whole house was like made so nobody can escape. Yeah. Like there was secret rooms. There's like the, the front door was locked on the inside and outside. We need an inside key and an outside key. Okay. Yeah. So they're like, you think they were double murderers. I think they were doing it together. And then she cheated on him and he was like, fuck you bitch. And then she's like, he can change, I can change. And he's like, no, I'm leaving. And she's like, I'm going to chain myself up. But how does your color cops chained up? She kicked out the window and yelled out the window, like, hey, it helped. He changed the other one of the neighbors something. Try a nice guy and give your girlfriend long chains. I'm full internet sleuth, I'm about to solve everything. I'm solving all the crimes. I mean, here's the thing. That's an unsolvable crime. You're out in the house. I can smoke. But you can just smell it. I can sniff suspicion. You're saying you can, you can look at, you can get context. Yeah. Yeah. What is it called? Element. Yeah. Yeah. Well, she seems, because it's like, it wasn't like that. She changed herself. Well, I don't think she changed herself. I think they were chaining people together. And then she tried to get out of it or she cheated on them to get out of their relationship. And then like, I think he chained her up because he was like, bitch, or she was, or he hadn't the way he said. Also got it. It's kind of suck is like a bondage dominator to like have your sub. Obviously. Try to spaz out. Yeah. Yeah. The term subspace makes me laugh so hard. The subspace is where like when you're, you're the sub, but you're subbing out and you're being dumb so hard, you just like lose all sense of time. You get in her subspace. Separately a thing. Subspace. Subspace a ton. If you're dumb, if you're in dumb space, then your sub cheats on you. It's funny to be like, good little kitten be like, actually, that actually hurts my feeling. So I'm actually, I'm actually really torn up about the fact that you cheated on him. I'm actually, can we, can we time out for a second? I'm really broken up about this. But then maybe she was, maybe she needed breath correction. So if you're really a true dumb, you would just correct the brady behavior, chained her up. But you chained her up. But the guy was textbook dumb, this, he did leave for like three days. Oh no. Yeah. Well, that's no snack. I think he left because he got a call to the cops right at his house. You got to leave some chicken boon popcorn for him. You got to leave yogurt and chicken boon popcorn and TV. And I think you could, I think you could change your bait. I think you could change it for like a month, and chicken boon, low calorie sweet kettle for yogurt and like some sort of Bev and a TV. I think you could chain a woman for 30 years. They might not even notice their trade up. Yeah. Yeah. And you keep replenishing the popcorn and drain it and you put on like housewives, you put on every season housewives in order. They would never know. You go to hang out with a friend and be like, oh, yeah. I'm being fucking dumbed right now. Yeah, a babel chill, man, they will chill so fucking hard on my booth. My dude, she's constantly like, I wish we could like stay in bed all day. I'm like, I would throw up if I lay down. Can't I can't stay I can't till I die. I don't think I'll lay down during a day for the rest of my life I Will go nuts if I just lay there like this watching television was like that's the dream Laying I get I pillows up. I want to lay my leg on the couch all day. Oh my panic, dude I remember when I said a sick day. I the for me it was like the morning was when I didn't want to go to school So I'd be like mom I'm diarrhea and I'll get out of school And I'd be like yes, I'm out of school But as the day went on I'd slowly get filled the sense of dread and like what have I done My cousin would come home like here's your work for today and I'm like this is all I missed It'd be like a sheet of like spelling words. I'm like, okay But I would get like panicked by the time the afternoon came I'd be like society's moving on without me I would feel like I've been left behind. Yeah, I'm worthless my school mates have left me behind I'm now an ignoramus slaying. I don't know what they know my friends forgot about me Because I think this diary Blast has moved on. I love a good excuse to be lazy though Like when you don't have the other sheet like a snow day. It's like I'll take a snow day Brainy day, but then back back in the day I'd be like the girl with the biggest test doesn't even know me anymore It's my to war low shirt day for all I know yeah It was a spring uniform that means golf shirts Man, I can't imagine not to can imagine being in like Hornie times with the things the girls wear nowadays when I was in you know, I'll be in that young. Yeah, it's got to be crazy I was I was just talking to Bernie about about a spandex. I was like you do realize spandex in public. It's crazy It's so crazy that that's nuts let alone because like we're talking to me like leggings are like I'm like leggings are like I'm like I get it, but it's like that's still wildly revealing It's like you see the contours of like the butt interposing and you know, yeah Most times a big old camel toe and I'm going like It's not crazy to like tie something around the waist like that's it's not it's it's understandable because it's like you're out You're fucking completely on display and then like well I just don't that and then we walk past the lady who had a bunch of you hanging out of shorts and she was like I can't believe that person's out there right now. I was like was it's like spandex That's the next evolution. Yeah, I was like everyone's dressing like prostitutes used to dress. Yeah, if you were a spandex in the 80s outside Be like this is a hooker. Yeah, yeah, if you were your butt cheeks out and now like in the 90s 2000s butt cheeks out with hookers Now regular ladies are adopting hooker technology And I'm like see through shit is getting big. I see that now to be see through. It's it's gonna be It's gonna hit a point where we'll obviously fly back. It already is. There's like the baggy mom jeans now. Yeah Um, I do hate that to be honest. You need baggy mom jeans. Nice. It does it does nothing like it really barbs me out It's your nice reset. You need to tell me right. I can't handle but cheeks out of shorts and nipples. I that's too much for me It is a lot like I get it's too much. It's too much. I do celebrate. It's too much. It's a lot It does what I do in New York back in the day. Yeah, I used to be like I know a wreck is coming. Yeah But if everyone starts doing that, it's gonna be a problem I definitely think once you're off like once you're off the market Spendex outside unless you're with your guy. Spendex outside. It's like again. It's one of the things. I'm like whatever I'm just like stating as a matter of fact It's what hookers. It's what hookers used to wear if my lady wasn't going out the house to like Some of the like sometimes I'm not gonna live. I've seen them like Instagram leggings that have the the pre wedgie And I pretty wedgie crazy. I go to Amazon. I go where he's around my house, please But see the butt cup spandex. It's like It's crazy. I don't have like super strong like dude can't but I just see it and I go like yeah Well, it's that's like your butt like everyone can see your butt now It's just it's your butt. It's just instead of your skin. It's spandex. Yeah, but it's still your butt Which in the future we're also both we're building towards all wearing spandex all the time I understand that I'm not gonna fight against I can't you're gonna have to Fuck that otherwise. We're never gonna be in the future dude. We can't stay baggy and claim to be in the future I hate the baggy though the new baggy like that come back around. Yeah, that's kind of annoying too It feels crazy like I and it's over sized. It's a yeah We used the same shit as when we were younger. You think I remember gico's were so baggy Baggy D shorts are back again. Like it's just get a six L shirt skull look regular Just gonna look regular now. It's gonna look like me on me I thought you made like I want tall tees tall tees were the sickest things. I think if any fashion trend I think tall tees might be the sickest shit ever. There was there was a small error to have like a middle ground that I love It was like the sleeves were normal cut sleeves Tea with kind of long. It was perfect. You wearing a dress. It wasn't dressed It wasn't dressed I walked in the net put it on like this is a dress the whole time it hugs my waist Yeah, I'm sure you're curious like I put it on hit like spins and shit and flappin Well guys I believe we did it Mother fucking power. Thank you for everybody Appreciate you guys. Well, uh, yeah, man. We'll keep on plotting along. So what we can do is plot along On this thing called life and all right PC wait for the robots All this way to see if the robots really take our fucking livelihoods And if you know see what happens with the war hopefully that stuff blows over and there's peace and that robots don't you know Take us away. It seems to be hanging over everybody's mind and the robots the robots in the war I don't think some robots are gonna take us over and we're gonna go to World War three When the robots and war joined together. That's when we're fuck. That's what everyone's afraid of Forge of Jumps of battle bots nonstop and we just our food supply depends on how good our battle bots for them. Yeah, each country has their own guy We're gonna battle bots wars. Maybe I'll be shredded finally Being crushed by abundance right now Well, bye guys Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's secret podcast on Spotify do it [BLANK_AUDIO]