Ep 611 - Goblin AKA Nick

wow wow wes all right what's up nick what's going on here with nick um i would say successful youtuber dude what do you how do you how do you what do you how do you like to present yourself to the world i'm a youtuber i'm a podcaster uh talk about you know my drug addiction i say previous but yeah i still enjoy drugs you know california sober yeah yeah california sober you know shrooms weed a little bit of here and there you know everything in moderation is the key well my yeah one of my uh someone someone i know put me onto your content who had been a bit of a druggist himself and uh he's also on the up and up as well but he uh he he's like you gotta watch this you gotta get this guy on your pot you whenever i see that i'm like yeah yeah and i watch it like damn your shit is your shit is sick i've gotten comments get you on my show too really i've gotten quite a few there it is dude you gotta line it up that was just the universe that was the great mind just working yeah came together i was curious i had asked you before we came down to why you got me on the show because i looked at your other guests and i'm like dude talk about like my guys and then like here i come walking hey the my hieroglyph guy's not out just yet oh oh shit spoiler no i don't care that's fine the uh i don't know dude i feel like you're a great fit how do you know what you're talking about well no i was just i more so meant like category of person you know like you're having like celebrities on the show you know i mean and then i walked in this way the cookie crumbles dude that's the way i mean you're here's the thing you're no small fry dude you've had how many followers you got a bunch of followers uh i have a million on my main youtube channel but that's you know now youtube doesn't like me you're fucking what are you talking about well it's an honor to have you on here i appreciate it i'm really i'm truly honored i'm truly honored to be here um that's all that matters yeah yeah counts follow a million is sick though it is you get the plaque uh no no they denied me my 100k plaque they denied me my million sub plaque why and i have three channels that are owed plaques and they denied all of them except one why is it because of the content matter i mean bro if you go on my channel right now and you're not subscribed to my like home page video is like my first time smoking crack and like youtube any it doesn't matter what country the support agents in they're going to that channel and they're saying no what you know so it's yeah i got it was fake crack no like we really cooked crack when i was 17 smoked it but like whoa so that's how far it goes back take me all the way back so how did you so how do i what just get get started like fucking around well yeah but what i want to know is what's going on with you at what point was that a crack idea to be like let's just youtube this it was a a coke idea it was after school on a on a tuesday it's a funny thing to say at a podium well actually there's not a crack at it it's a coke idea a little less yeah so take me all the way different how did how did you give me the origin story so when uh we'd gotten out of school one day it was junior year high school and i was going to this alternative school with like all the dgen kids and i got sent there because my gpa was below one whoa i had a 0.8 so i was like oh my god i'm not gonna be able to they didn't like that and they're like dude you might be retarded like you got to go to the alternative school and at the time i was just like smoking weed and taking xanax so like it wasn't too bad you know i was still like kind of doing my thing you know just not doing too good in school but after i got sent to the alternative school it's like okay these kids are all like actually like nodding out in gym class and shit yeah you're like these kids are bad so i i was right in there with them you know i was like fuck it dude let's have some fun that's kind of nice yeah just got you know got worse so i had uh met a friend named ashton who was like just a really big coke head and like kind of into everything he did coke heroin like the whole shebang and one day he comes over to my house after school we got a ride home together and we're sitting in my kitchen and we've been doing blow for like every day for like probably at least a week straight you're 17 yeah yeah and it was like i was very fortunate to have him as a friend because he sold a lot of shit and i was broke but he would let me do everything because i drove him around yeah so it was like hey like driving to the serve and like i'll give you two lines dude all for i've ever had it's gonna fuck working at wendy's we're driving the plug around you know so he comes over to my house and he's like dude i'm really tired of doing blow like this shit's boring honestly and like objectively blow is kind of a boring drug you know so i got where he was coming from and i don't remember who said it my other friend kyle was also there but it came up at one point like what if he made crack out of it and it was a joke at first like haha we could you know that's funny but like none of us knew what we were doing we don't know how to do that did you guys listen to rap yeah of course yeah everyone yeah i mean it's a crack so bad i grew up in the like soundcloud rapper era so like when i was in high school like lil pump was the biggest thing yeah yeah and like dude that guy made cocaine music like that guy's like if you've ever heard any of his songs it's just straight nose drug yeah you know so we were kind of joking around like haha that would be really funny if we made crack and then it became more of like a how do we even make crack you know we i remember we went on erowid and we found this thing that was a thread post like really detailed thread with a youtube video linked and it was a step-by-step like old like dude this thread was like probably mid-2000s you know and it was like one of those old style youtube videos with like the music with the text like step one like you know the comic sans fonts or whatever and it was just how to make crack and it was how to make a personal serving in a spoon and all i mean i'm not gonna list everything you need here but it's pretty straightforward if you know anything about it you know you can do it literally with a spoon and a lighter and the stuff you need for normal crap really you don't have to i'm all about i'm all about rap songs whipping your wrist you can literally do a miniature version of that to make one bowl worth in a spoon whoa like you don't have to make a like a whole pot worth you can take like a little bit of blow yeah you're not getting the block so and granted like we didn't make good crack like it was not like some shit that we would go serve somebody yeah you know but it was like dude it's homegrown it looks like crack kinda you know you guys what did you so you put it on a spoon so we sprinkle stuff in we put blow on a spoon and i mean do you want me to go step by step okay yeah i don't if you get in trouble it's not my fault cover your ears all right so well i think well you don't have to go to i think it's baking soda water and coke yes yes that's the essence of it yeah and if you listen to rap you hold the lighter up under the spoon and just mix it until it bubbles for like a certain amount of time it's like if you see like constant bubbles on the top stop it's too hot the guy who made this video is so funny dude i want to know where he is today i want to know where he is i want to have i want to meet the guy but um we we did the process and then after you finish mixing it in the spoon and doing your thing you pour it on a tinfoil and throw it in the freezer okay so we grab some tinfoil threw it in the freezer and just throw the spoon in like my mom's sink like thinking nothing of it you know whatever which she found the spoon later that was not good no and she still talks about it to this day like she's like remember when i found your crack spoon i'm like i'm like mom like she was not a fan i don't do that anymore yeah that was an experiment that was an experiment for alternative yeah it was a one-time thing that was a science fair literally yeah she should be glad because like i failed all my science classes so finally i'm being proactive and experimenting on my own she should be happy about that so you know we threw it in the freezer for like probably 30 minutes or so pull it back out and it's like i mean from my understanding it's not good looking good it's very cloudy it almost looked gray like it wasn't good but we're like fuck it dude we got to smoke crack now you know we don't have a pipe though so like crap time for a tinfoil pipe you know so we twist up a little tinfoil bowl my friend hits it first and he passes it to me very underwhelming experience very like literally i think it lasted probably two to three minutes really like if even yeah we i took a hit one hit pass it to my friend i don't know if like it was a placebo thing of like oh i just smoked crack or what it was but i got very like sometimes when i do a lot of coke and i'm pretty drunk i'll get like ragey you know like i'll get a little angry you know and it was like that condensed into like two minutes i remember i was like oh like my friend kind of dapped me up you know shook my hand a little bit and i was like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm a little bit i remember punching my mom's cabinet like really hard just for no reason there was nothing wrong there was nothing going on you're just amped yeah i just amped up you know i punched her cabinet and my friend hits it and he likes it very nonchalant about he's like oh yeah you know like that was cool and i'm like wow like we really just wasted a bunch of blow and like hours of our time and got fucking two minutes of this out of it you know yeah um and after we smoked the little bowl we made it was more of a thing of like we were riding on the high of like we just smoked crack yeah yeah like holy fuck this is awesome and we drove up we got in my mom's car and i don't know why she ever left the keys at home with me but she would leave the keys at home with me and we drove up to little caesars that my friend worked at there was this girl named salma who worked there shout out to her and we would always go and give her shit for free pizza and we walked in and we're like salma we just fucking smoked crack like and she thought we were joking she's like oh haha yeah like that's so funny we're like no like we really just did it like you should come next time like if you want to like i'm trying to back her up a little bit you know you know like hey we're not like these other guys you do drugs with you we cook crack now like we're really different um which by the way the coke pizza trade is a real thing oh yeah oh yeah briefly briefly sold coke when i was younger and we had a guy who come in called horsehead okay he was a delivery guy i can tell he's fun yeah we would be like horse we would call and be like yo it was like my friend's cousin worked there but tell send horsehead with the pizza and we were like pizza's then like he would just bring a bunch of extra shit and we would just give him blow fuck yeah he literally did look like he had a horse's head he had a giant long face so we would just watch him do blow and just be like horse there's a real connection with like pizza employees and just drugs in general like any any staff at a pizza shop doesn't matter if you're front end kitchen delivery dude you're doing good yeah there's stuff going on so what was the lady's name again salma salma salma was she was dubious about your crack consumption she didn't care as much as we thought she would yeah but she hooked up with a guy who was like he hooked us up with the pizzas either way you know you hooked her up a good little trade and went home that night and it was a thing of like we all agreed like let's to never do that again okay like definitely gentleman's agreement yeah a real gentleman's agreement like hey we're glad we got that out of the way but even at that time i still had a mental barrier of like no math no heroin yeah that kind of thing and like the crack kind of felt like it was starting to breach the barrier a little bit and i was like boys let's leave that let's dial it back you know yeah um so it was cool you know but did you did you youtube that experience you're saying or i've talked about it yeah i didn't like film the actual thing in the moment but a lot of what i do online is like i just kind of recount and tell stories of my past okay so they're mad that you just told that story on youtube pretty much yeah well my channel two no actually three years ago now got fully demonetized well so i get no ad revenue off my million sub channel what i basically post for free and i get no sponsors because you know what well you know there are you familiar with psyched substance did you ever follow his art i am very familiar with psyched it didn't he lost a sauce a few times yeah he spilled the pot probably five times kratom got him dude in the end kratom is getting more people than ever right now i know the seven seven oh is bad bro so that i was i had read about seven oh so i just going to seven oh h seven oh and i was like i was going to talk about it but i just brought it up and then like got onto something else i was like yo did you ever hear about seven oh and then like we started talking about something else i got like nine million dms like don't do it bro don't do it don't even try it's just like morphine you can get from the gas station honestly i don't i think morphine's even low balling it like morphine is probably weaker than what seven oh it's like it's it's nuts dude it's just at the gas station it's gas station every smoke shop in the whole country bro you can pick any smoke shop in a two mile radius of here and i promise they yeah that's not good it's really hurt i've heard that they this is just like people i've talked to you just hit the gas station or the smoke shop and they're just like yo try this shit like they're like push it on you so they have sample packs like these little like one and two pill packs that they send out to all the shops and they give the shops incentives to give the samples out like they're like hey we'll give you a discount on your next like wholesale batch if you give out these samples because they know that like all the fiends are coming back who are the monsters though that are like yo you know the sacklers uh-huh what if we did that again dude what if we did that but at gas stations it goes pretty deep actually there's a um a lot of the like the seven oh the sketchy hemp products and like all the shrews and stuff like that and they're like oh my god they're like oh my god they're like shrew bars that are in smoke shops a lot of those are the same people yeah like a lot of those different brands are all the same like couple parent conglomerates and i own a brand in the hemp space so like that's i'm pretty involved with that and i know a lot of the guys behind the scenes and like dude listen if you go to an event and if you see like three indian guys ice the fuck out they're selling seven now yeah they're selling seven now they're selling seven now um what about so in terms of like the the you know like the hemp the farm bill compliance stuff do you think a lot of that's just sprayed kind of cannabinoids or like like in terms of like the products that people are selling in stores yeah well no so the crazy thing with the the hemp loophole is like the shit they're selling in stores is the same shit it's just weed yeah like the thca particularly thca is the same shit that's in normal dispo weed yeah all the other shit like delta 8 that's like synthetic and bullshit but the loophole right now like there's shit if you go to a dispensary in california and you go buy a product off a shelf and you get it tested right now there's probably a good like 40 to 50 of those products that by definition would be legally hemp and like you can shit yeah and that's because the thca yeah isn't heat activated yeah thc it's because all the laws are made by like 90 year olds you know they've never hit a joint it's it's like kind of like laughable though because you can just grow it and be like it's 30 thca but it's just and there's no oversight there's not even like a department of agriculture yeah they're not exactly they don't do shit no which is good for the hemp i think it's a nice loophole i as far as loophole oh it's a great loophole dude you're talking to a guy who's made plenty of money off it dude it's a great loophole but with that being said i still am not like that against it getting closed because like it's pretty bad out there bro i mean you say bad you mean like there's a lot of dirty shitty for every one like solid product you can buy in the hemp market right now there's probably five more that are like borderline poison yeah we'll make some poisonous that's what i'm curious there's so there's no testing and any hemp products the only thing you have to do to like prove that it's hemp is get a lab test done on the batch itself yeah but like there's no like you know authority that's coming in and actually double checking that so it'd be like so like heavy metals pesticide everything bro there's companies that like have weed that's testing positive for e-coli there's company yeah like there's a lot of synthetic like shroom products in particular where like they're advertising this is a blend of lion's mane and it's just research chemicals yeah that's that's what so my uh my brother put me on the show and i was like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god i'm gonna be like what is it it's like it's not five me it's like five it's like me uh me o dmt or something but that so that's like the frog stuff there's another me o something that is uh it's just a powder you can get it online like a research chemical but it's like similar to shrooms that's what i think a lot of the yeah shroom chocos are so i've talked to people like yeah i had like a one square and i was just launched and it's crazy because like that shit hits too like it works and it feels good it's not even a bad experience it's more show it like you just don't know what you're getting yeah it's kind of scary like i i personally i think all the shit in the smoke shop should still be legal to possess and consume you know but like should they be sold at the smoke this episode is brought to you by viore guys we've been wearing viore lately it's a game changer the core shorts work for pretty much anything jim aaron's hanging around the house whatever matt and the strato tech t insanely soft you're gonna want to wear it 24 7 everything is good comfortable but looks good at the same time it just works it just works get 20 off your first purchase at viore.com mssp and discover the versatility of viore clothing exclusions apply visit the website for full terms and conditions hey guys this episode is brought to you by ethos matt talk to me about a personal moment when life insurance started to feel like something you actually cared about well yeah i was definitely having kids i went i had kids and i said dang if i die these guys would be absolutely helpless and you live life on the edge i live extreme sports dream sports active lifestyle very active lifestyle of you know takes a toll physically it's called yeah so guys take 10 minutes to get covered today with life insurance through ethos get your free quote at ethos.com mssp that's ethos ethos.com mssp application times may vary depending on your situation if you're in a situation where you're in a situation where rates may vary rates may vary out with no age restriction yeah probably not no the galaxy gas epidemic was pretty wild dude that shit was bad there was a i remember i'm not gonna air out who it was but a few months ago i invited someone onto my podcast who came by with all his homies and it's gonna be pretty obvious who this was probably no no he's in the same like league though um but he brought these like four homies with him who kept like going out outside of my door and like very clearly smoking fent and like oh dude they do that a lot of my shit what that's actually i've had two people do that now are you ever worried to have like guests and then they come back and like kind of case your shit up and dude they're just smoking fent casually outside i'm not gonna lie bro we don't have much to take i mean we are in a living room um my homies living room and like yeah there's just not much to take that's good and the cameras we have aren't even ours they're loaned to us you know like we're just like we're just like good take the couch you know yeah sure take the fucking couch so yeah that's kind of awkward yeah so how did you know they're out there smoking fent you could smell it there's a very specific smell that like smoking like pills gives off yeah and like you can tell then they the dude came back in he was talking to me totally normally he's like can i go smoke a cigarette i'm like yeah comes back in yeah he's just like all right bro i know what that smell is you know you're not fooling me so i'm gonna go smoke a cigarette and i'm like yeah i'm gonna go smoke a cigarette and i'm like okay so going back to so there you had the you know the the first one was just you're recounting smoking crack that was your first youtube that wasn't my first youtube video that was the first one i'd say that really like popped off popped off a lot like that's like my my most notorious probably okay i think when it really like i started getting any traction doing what i do is i got sent to rehab and i was on probation when i was 17 i got put on felony probation because i would go to walmart and like load up a cart full of shit and like a plastic tote i'd have a cart and i'd leave the lid open i'd fill it up with all the clearance like games and dvds put the lid on pay for the tote and just leave and i got away with it like three or four times one day i got really brazen and it was like a friday at 5 p.m and i was drunk as fuck and i drove to the walmart walked in at 5 p.m loaded up my tote tried to walk out the door and they stopped me like this big like butch lesbian security guard came and grabbed me what's funny is because like i i when they did the self-check and i used to get like real you know i would just start taking stuff oh you can not even nine times out of ten it's like 99 times out of 100 the person checking receipts looks like they're dead they're just like and you just walk past but they i had one hardo one time it was like why is your receipt this big and you have a cart full of stuff and what i did i just i just went like wait what i just went full alzheimer's and was like completely confused did i not check all this stuff out did he let you go back and just yeah there was a lady and she was like this isn't on the receipt and i kept going like but i didn't technically leave the store yeah i don't think you can get in trouble i'm gonna be like you haven't committed a crime yeah i thought i was going to the gardening section so i i felt like i just solid case if i had a fight but she she was like she made me kind of like a humiliation ritual she made me go back and be like that's not on there that's not on there i kept being like escort back to the register yep yeah i did and i was like wait that's not on there either did that doc scan what i remember being like oh so it beeps and she was like dude get the fuck out of here so they they actually prosecuted yeah they they arrested me and like took me into the little security room and like counted the amount of stuff i had and i think they did it because i've been coming back to the same exact walmart yeah repeatedly yeah and i would do it all the time and this is back when like walmart was still 24 hour too so like yeah i was going all times a day bro i'd go at night one time i got a 3ds out of the electronics thing i asked the lady to like open it up for me and then i kept asking for like shit in different directions like i'd be like can you get a game from that end of the thing and she got fed the fuck up and she just handed the thing to me and she's like bring it up front and pay for it and just left and i was like all right well i'm leaving into the tote it goes yeah but anyway so i got arrested um at walmart that day i stole like i think it was like nine hundred dollars worth of shit it was a good amount okay just under i think larceny what's larceny like two thousand it wasn't larceny it was under that it was just i think retail theft but like the felony level by definition and like i just had like some minor you know possession charges and shit at that point so i went to court for it and they were like all right i had a good lawyer and everything they gave me probation for a year and i had to go in for random drug testing like pretty often um and i've was not doing well with that like the first month on probation i was just dropping a ton of acid and like you know oh well i won't piss dirty for that but then while i was tripping i'd like hit the blunt and like do all the other shit and you know that wasn't good so i kind of gone through the motions the first month just like well i'm gonna go to juvie when they call me you know and eventually i bought a couple tabs off a friend that turned out to be fake and i overdosed on them what were they 25 i am pretty sure what is that so it's um i don't think it's like as popular to do anymore but when i was younger uh the like most common fake acid cut was this chemical called 25i nbome and it's this like similar psychedelic it's like a clear liquid that you drop on blotter but like the only way you can tell you're taking it is if the tab tastes bitter that's what yeah and i tasted something when i took the tabs but like i it wasn't like bitter to me i didn't think anything of it and this was like a good friend that i'd known for a while so it was like a good friend that i'd known for a while so well fuck dude this shit's not hitting me i only took one i need another one so i get to my friend's house take my second tab and then i like started freaking the fuck out and my parents ended up when i went back home my friend dropped me off because i was tweaking parents called the cops because like they called an ambulance because i was freaking out went to the hospital went to rehab and i spent two months in a residential facility out of state like with all the real tweakers and you know i'm in there like damn dude shit's fucked and i got out and i made a series where i just documented like everything i went through in rehab and that was the first thing that like popped off my youtube channel that was really the like oh shit yeah you really you really made lemonade out of lemons man i did what i could you know great yeah i mean it also like when i was a kid i still made youtube videos i would just do like call duty gameplay stuff yeah because i played you'll still do that because yeah i still do that you know it's kind of nice it's it's like how it's morphed because when i started i would do the like here's the best gun in call duty right now and eventually like when i started smoking weed i was like fuck that shit dude no one cares about the best gun in cod like i want to talk about smoking weed and fucking chicks you know so like it's kind of just what i ended up doing gotcha so made the switch i mean that is pretty i've seen some of your stuff i mean it's just like call pretty good call duty gameplay too pretty nice i try and then it's just like the one time me and my friend smoked crack i'm like this is might be the best combination of shit ever just a guy like checking the quarters yeah i um i think honestly the only reason my channel exists is just like a product of the time i feel like if you tried to make this channel today you'd get banned yeah you know well you can claim educate well it is kind of educational honestly oh i i have a disclaimer in all my videos it's like this is bullshit yeah like this story's not even real yeah it's not ever fucking happening these are fake names you know the drug ranking one is one of my favorite i know you said oh i have an annual one the annual drug ranking i do them every year it's so funny i mean i noticed you have it out for uh robo tripping i mean that's bottom of the barrel i have i have a two-tiered problem with dxm yeah first off is like it's by definition a struggle drug it's a poverty drug like you're an adult with money and like options on plugs is not going to buy dxm true you know so it's a poverty drug and dxm users when you tell them it's a struggle drug they don't like it is there like for real avowed dxm users dude you're gonna see them in the comments of this video just for talking about this dude post a clip of this on shorts and see how fast they they appear they're coming dude yeah they come in my comments all the time every year they're like god i really wish goblin wouldn't be so narrow-minded about dxm like it's really opened my mind all these possibilities and i'm like dude like i'm just i'm not tripping off dell sam anymore i'm sorry yeah you're saying it's bottom the barrel only when you're well the high just sucks too what is it like it's like imagine if like a like every acid trip you had was kind of scary and didn't last as long and your stomach hurt the whole time that's like pretty much what a dxm trip is that stinks yeah it's not fun and i never liked it but like i guess i don't know dude poor people do yeah so i struggle that struggle it's a great yeah it's a good drug to go steal at the store nothing better but right so you rank that bottom that yeah that's the very bottom you're saying that's the bottom of the bottom that is the bottom what's slightly above that in your opinion i mean okay a reminder that it's all personal preference because objectively speaking we can be like oh fence actually the bottom but like no it isn't dude people don't do that because it sucks like people don't do fend because it feels like like that's not true you know so you can't put that you can't put that at the bottom objectively the xm feels like and is not a good look you know and it's just i can go on about that but i'd say next up probably like man oh it gets kind of weird in the d-tier because like yeah i mean if we're saying f is is dxm yeah then the d-tier is kind of a weird place to be because it's like well it's hard to find a drug that sucks but doesn't suck enough to be really soft true yeah you know it's kind of tough but i would say like man i i personally don't like opiates that much yeah yeah so like i'd say like specifically opiate pills like perks narcos like oxys that kind of thing just because like you still get the grimy like opiate feel and day after and the cloudiness but like you're not going all the way like just do the heroin at that point yeah you know opiates suck to begin with just do the good ones at least the ones that actually feel good because you're going to be a fiend either way like that and if like with the perks you're taking like a near liver canceling dose of oh yeah it's like tylenol yep yeah your liver is getting annihilated i i saw a guy one time the guy i worked with uh we were in like a construction trailer we had like cleaned a house we got to like take a break and he just he was like he was bad on heroin though or he would take a break you know he would take a break anything but he just grabbed it was the weirdest thing he grabbed tylenol there was like a first aid kit and he just dumped like 10 tylenols in his hand just swallowed them all and i was just like he just casually did this no didn't say what though like i don't know i still to this day i guess he probably was like withdrawing he probably didn't feel that good just testing his liver so he just abused tylenol and i remember just being like what the is this yeah what are you doing what a strange like so that's d that's that's d oh yeah opiates for me or d yeah you know like i've done them and like sure i've had enjoyable moments but i don't know if i'm gonna be able to take a break from them sure i've had enjoyable moments on them but like i i don't like it it's kind of laughable and not well it's definitely not very chic right now to be addicted to like perks no it's kind of the times went dude kind of like a throwback yeah time has went yeah it's it is a dying breed 10 years ago 2016 that was peak yeah the era you want to be a bar tard you want to be an opiate fiend that's when to do it you know times have changed dude times have changed yeah even the bars aren't popular there's any bars what would you class where would you class them oh my god bro i mean i love them yeah i hate i hate to admit like when i talk about xanax i there's a certain like feeling that comes over me of just like warmth you know like oh you know and that's how i know that out of all the drugs i've ever done xanax is the one that i really can never try again like i can i will immediately feed for that yeah like it's bad for me with xanax and i have so many friends who got so addicted to that and the withdrawals are horrible it's like the the ratio of like how accessible it is to like how addictive and horrible the withdrawals are is crazy like it's literally the most accessible version of like a borderline heroin addiction like it's the same withdrawal process it's the same like if you cold turkey xanax you'll literally just have seizures you can die yeah you can you could full-on die from a xanax withdrawal if you like just completely cold turkey and don't do any prep and like despite all that it's great really now i love it i love xanax it's literally a problem solver pill like any issue you are concerned about in your life dude if you you got court coming up you behind on your taxes your girl just left you your homie stole your drugs take his hand you can they're they're all gone find some peace the problems are gone you know and they're you know they're going to be gone for an extended period and like you might even solve the problems while you're barred out you might get the courage to solve those issues and it might not be in a healthy way but like you're going to take care of them true you know that's what's shocking to me is that like it's not that crazy to be prescribed adderall and xanax no like the average person it's not like oh yeah i take a xanax for my anxiety i take adderall That's a pretty potent. If I took an Adderall and a Xanax, I'd be trashed. It's not fun. Yeah. It's not fun. All right, here we go, guys. Does anyone want to go first, by the way? I don't want to pig out. Go ahead, Lamar. Get in there. All right, well, hey, everybody. I'm going to be in Florida May 5th, May 6th, May 7th, May 8th, May 9th. And I'll be back home. But also on May 5th, there's Optimal Anarchist at the Creek in the Cave. So please check that out. Lamar Lee, that fun, and everywhere else. All right. Thank you. Boys. Uh, May 16th is all I got right now. Toronto will be nice, but I believe it's full. May 16th. Wait, you're in Toronto on May 15th? May 15th, yeah. What's up? It's a good time to be in the 6th. Is it really? What, in May? May 15th. Why? I'm in there May 15th. It's the new Drake release. What? Are you going to be there May 15th? The city's going to be going nuts. Damn, that's going to be awesome. Well, hell yeah, dude. We all look forward to that. And guys, the next day, there's some tickets left for the Riviera Theater in Chicago. Chicago, Illinois. And yeah, that's May. We got time, but I'll be honest. That one, I wouldn't lie to you, that one's going to sell out. So, come celebrate the end of this part of the tour in Chicago, May 16th. That's it. May 4th, I'm at the Hollywood Bowl in Los Angeles. May 7th, there's still tickets available for the May 7th Thursday show at TD Garden in Boston. And then, that's it. Obviously, July 17th, come watch me. I have a heart attack in front of the entire city of Philadelphia. Fuck it. Albuquerque, Phoenix, San Diego, Los Angeles, Seattle, Portland, Chicago, New York, Boston, Pittsburgh, Orlando, Naples, and Tampa, and San Francisco. I'm coming to you this month. It's going to be a big month. JDFMcCann.com. Organ Hour out now. James Donald Ford's McCann Catamaran plan. Oh, yeah. Big times. Yeah, get in there, Sean. Hello, everybody. I'll be Sean. No, get in front of the fucking camera and don't do this cute bullshit. Just fucking do it. I'm not. I'm just getting in there. Hello, everybody. How's it going? No, dude, just do it. I'll be in Springfield, Missouri. This episode is brought to you by Rocket Money. Rocket Money. Matt, what were you finally able to save for thanks to Rocket Money, the automatic savings, vacation, ball, and. Can I tell you something, actually? I had a surprise charge story. Really? Crazy surprise charge. Oh, those lying cam girls? No, actually. It's funny enough. It had nothing to do with that. I was going through my. Whatchamacallit? I have a joint credit card with my wife, and we're going over the monthly charges, and it was like a shock. Someone had, I think, frauded us, and I had a charge for the Bangkok massage down by the airport. Son's a bitch. It was fucking bullshit. $160. I mean, and also, that's a tough one for you to have to. I know. That was not me. I said, babe, what the hell? I'm so taken off. I'm so surprised by this. This is fraudulent and suspicious activity. Let's get Rocket Money involved. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Savings. Guys, let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com slash mssp. That's rocketmoney.com slash mssp. rocketmoney.com slash mssp. This episode is brought to you by Blue Chew. Oh, yeah. Fellas, let me introduce you to Blue Chew Gold. Yo. No, it's not something a rich guy orders at a steakhouse. Blue Chew Gold is the newest, latest innovation. This isn't your typical good luck buddy pill. Blue Chew Gold combines two ingredients for blood flow. Oh, man. With two for mental arousal and connection. So now your body and your brain are clocking in for the shift. Because sex is not just about being able to perform. I totally agree with that. It's about actually wanting to. Now, wanting to is extremely important for sexual intercourse. A million percent, dude. Yeah. And we've got a special deal for our listeners. Right now, when you buy two months of Blue Chew Gold, you get the third free with promo code drenched. You'll also receive an additional 10% off plus free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. Oh, yeah. Free Tulsa, Oklahoma and Oklahoma City in Cincinnati, Ohio in the month of May. Please come. Oh, my God. SeanGardini.com. Why are you so mad at me? I'm not. I'm joking, dude. Oh. What do you think about abusing sleeping pills? You ever run into that? Like, which, no, I never really fucked with anything. I saw these when I was younger. There was like this, you know, whatever, apartment complex full of people that I knew. And they're like all knew each other and lived together. And these girls would take Ambien and then do as much coke as possible. I've never tried that. Dude, well, they say you start tripping because you want to go to sleep. But you take the, I mean, I literally, they were like really trying to sell me on it all. Like, you got to try this. And I'd always. Give it a go. I had the wherewithal to be like, no, I don't think I'm going to do it. I'm going to do that. And dude, one day they just collapsed in front of me. Oh. Just were, fell. The one of them fell and just hit the floor. Thank God you didn't try it. And I said, I fucking told you guys. I was, I was a very, I was a very like nervous Nelly about drugs when I was young. Really? I would do like, like weed and mushrooms were great, but like pills. You would avoid like combining stuff or? Just pills, coke. I never, I never did coke. I've never done it. What? Virgin. Really? Totally virgin. Bro. I just never, everything I saw people doing it, I was always like, it never worked out good. I don't think of a single person they were like, yeah, that was sick. Like, oh, coke is very destructive. Yeah. It's horrible. It costs too much money. It doesn't last long enough for you to ever make it stretch. And like, it does suck. But also like, I feel like coke is the perfect adult drug. Like the moment that like you got bills to pay, it's time to buy a bag. It's time to buy the bag. It's time to buy a bag. So how's that the adult drug? Oh, that's, you're saying when you, when you're. It's a drug that like you can do on a regular basis and still function. And like, I personally, like, although I don't do it anymore, I functioned. When I was geeking, like it wasn't until the end, it wasn't ever really a thing where it was like debilitating me, you know, until like towards the end of my coke use. What about financially? Well, that's a different story, you know? I mean, yeah, that's a different story. But like, I mean, dude, when I function as a person, when I first like started, so back in like 2020, I got a DUI and I was living with my parents still at the time I was 20 or it's 2019 actually. And my mom threw me out of the house. She was like, get the fuck out. You know, you got seven days, put all my stuff in a trash bag and there. I went, you know, and I moved down like three hours south to this town that was like really far from my hometown and very cheap cost of living. And I had brought like my final like hurrah bag of blow down with me. I bought like a pretty, I don't remember how much it was, but I brought a pretty fat bag of blow. I got like a pint of lean. I got like a bunch of weed and just brought it all down. I was like, once I run out of this, I'm fucked, dude. All the blow down here is fat, you know? So it's going to be bad. So I started railing a bunch of it. Like kind of trying to pace myself, which didn't work. And around that time, I had started doing these like live streams every day. And like I would drink for donations. I was trying to make money and it worked. And I started making good money. And like instead of being like, oh, finally, I can afford my blow. I just bought more shit. And like since my plug, I live three hours north. I started going on the deep web and buying everything with like all my YouTube paychecks. So like I would have months where I'd get like seven or eight grand from YouTube, which was like incredible. And I was like, oh, I'm going to make money for me at the time. That was like YouTube tip, basically. Yeah. Yeah. That was like my that was my all my income at that point. I didn't have sponsors. I didn't have like business stuff going. It was literally just whatever YouTube paid me for my donations and my ad rev was my fucking net worth, you know? Yeah. And I remember I would pay my rent, which was 650 a month. It went up to 1100 eventually when I moved. But 650 a month, the entire rest of that was weed, Zantz, ketamine, blow. And I would just order it all. And like the more money I had, the more I just bought. But then. It kept scaling up. Yeah. Yeah. It kept scaling up all the way until like it got really bad, bro. Like it was. I'm kind of drunk right now, so it's not going to be a great estimate. You know, I had some drinks at lunch, but probably like fall of 21, I'd say is when it got the worst. And I was like staying up for like two or three days straight at a time. And I would just be like sitting at my desk, like cold, sweating, railing lines. And I had this like I developed this really extreme, like paranoia and anxiety. And my brain from doing so much uppers that like I would do uppers to bring me like bring my heart rate back up because I was really paranoid about my heart. Like I'd be like, oh, my shit's beating too slow. I need to wake up. Yeah. Yeah. Do a bunch of lines. And I'd be like, oh, my shit's beating too fast. I need to take a Xan. I need to do a line. Yeah. And I would go through cycles of that for like two or three days straight. Just trying to get it back to just like a sober heart rate. Yeah. And the whole time it's like, bro, I'm not fucking dying. Like, you know, but I might. I was just so paranoid in my brain that I thought I was. So that's pretty scary, though. If you're doing horror by yourself, just like constantly up and down, up and down. Bro, I had this big house by myself. I had no friends in this town. I had no job. And like the only thing I did all day was just sit inside and do drugs like all fucking day. And then just stream. Pretty much. Yeah. I would go live. So that's. Oh, God, dude, I might get banned for this. When I used to stream like my early days of streaming on Twitch, I got started because I was trying to see how fast I could get banned. So like I played a porn game and like railed a bunch of ketamine. Like during the stream and like I didn't play the game like the ad I played. No, I played like a porn game that's banned on Twitch on stream. What is a porn game? Like you're talking about like the ads on porno. There's a game. No, no, no, no. It was a game on Steam called like. Oh, OK. I don't remember the name of it. I think I know. I know. People are going to know in the car. It's like a very notorious like horny game, you know, and I played it on my stream with the intent of seeing like, let's see how fast Twitch like bans people for this kind of shit. And then during the stream, I would like, you know, turn my camera up and be like, you know, the fucking vets calling me, dude. He's my pet horse. sick and like lean down do a bunch of ketamine lean back up i think he's gonna be okay guys like he's gonna be fine you know and finally like i got banned you know but it was temporary and then they unbanned me and like i don't know how i didn't get in more trouble for the shit i used to do yeah yeah like i would do this and be very blatant about it on stream and i know people were reporting me and like i don't know that it kind of rocks which is cool i guess you know i guess they are pretty chill you might be kind of chill too youtube is give me my money they should give your ad money youtube is not chill about nudity i showed one one illustration it was a it was like a cartoon like a comic book series about a uh a slutty indian lady called savita bobby okay and i showed like illustrated nipple and they just they we still have a strike on our channel for really yeah they do not when does it expire i don't think ever dude i don't know what or we'll find out it's been there for at least like three years two and a half three years what the fuck yeah do you guys have like a like a contact at youtube or anything probably but i don't think they'll take it off that guy up it was like a graphic i mean i did do like it was like illustrated full frontal i feel like if because now all strikes on youtube expire do they really all of them yeah that's cool they uh you get like a warning and then strike one if you don't get another one for 90 days it goes really see yeah yeah so i would hit up your rep and just be like hey bro this shit's three years old i'm gonna put i'm gonna go i'm gonna show the naked indian lady as soon as i get my strike off there you go dude run it back run it back you got wiggle room now so what so uh yeah so what's what's the plan now so now you're still you're still streaming so like are you is it more of like a i guess your channel slightly like a almost like a memoir or like slash like opinion in a way yeah it's kind of morphed more recently when i started it was just purely like a i want to tell my stories yeah kind of thing you know and now as i've gotten older and kind of gotten clean and cleanish um you know it's a thing of like i want to share my stories in a way that like people can learn from it a little bit and i'm like yeah i want to share my stories a little bit yeah and also just make videos talking about drugs yeah so what is your overall what is your personal takeaway after doing a like i would say would you say you've done all the drugs all the drugs i want to yeah exactly i would say yeah i mean i haven't done math haven't done heroin i haven't done um you know dmt i haven't done that yet there's a few things psychedelics that like i did molly shrooms acid but none of the like real like yeah other stuff what so what is your takeaway on draw on drugs combined if it's like if there's a young man out there honestly dude get it out of your system while you're young i mean i'm gonna be honest i i think a lot of people like it's really easy to just be like man you should never do drugs you know like so bad but like dude no one's gonna listen to that shit yeah i know we're doing drugs you know that's just kind of that's how people are you know and for me i see a lot of my friends that i partied with when i was young that i went really hard with and like did stupid shit with and got arrested with and like these guys are doing fine i've a buddy who's working biotech travels all over the country and like dude i used to rail bags with this guy every night you know i i have other friends who are like doing finance stuff and like working in sales and it's like a bunch of dudes who like i think our act scores were in the teens you know like we're kind of retarded so it was like it was really like my advice honestly like i don't ever try to tell people like oh don't do drugs don't try this because like you're gonna try it either way yeah either or you're motherfuckers aren't gonna listen to me but i think moderation is key it's good to get out of your system when you're young and you're never too far gone is really the most important part yeah like you're never too far gone bro i've met some crazy motherfuckers who like were way deeper in than i've ever been than anyone i've ever seen and like they're just normal guys now living life came out of it yeah you know so that's probably my take but like man all the all the like curriculum all the dare stuff and all the like drugs are bad that's been getting pushed since the 80s is just bullshit that's like resulted in the drug space we have now yeah i don't think anyone like listens to that i remember my brother was telling me we had dare at our school or officer friendly whoever yep and i remember they would show us like car antennas uses crack pipes yeah but they i don't remember this my brother was like when he was in seventh grade they explained lsd to him and he was like bro since that day i was like i need to get that it just like does not work like you see cartoons or whatever and he was like that sounds sick dude it sounds fucking awesome i remember seeing the south park acid episode when kenny had the acid episode and i was like i need to get that acid trip and as a kid that that made me want to trip immediately yeah yeah and i was like i don't know 10 or some shit i was like dude i gotta try that you know yeah that that is kind of my uh my thing because i i have two little kids and it's like yeah the old like uh hey don't ever do any it's like it's not realistic but it's also like you know for me it'd be like here's certain things that you know like weed even drinking i'm kind of like be careful with that but like i my personal pills all that stuff just steer clear yeah that's my personal thing some people are like no coke's fine i might you have to stop it eventually because that's the thing once you're like 40 you know 50 it's kind of like to me there's just something shitty about it especially once especially once you have kids and it's like are you definitely testing it that's like oh it's like i know so many people where i'm like you're not testing your coke there's no way you're drunk at a bar and you're getting a bad coke and you're shoving it up your nose and like dude just people how how bad is is the fentanyl still really bad in terms of like oh it's so bad yeah it's so fucking bad that's fucking scary i mean the problem is like fent is cheaper than all the other cuts now yeah like it's a lot of people i see they're like oh why would anyone why would any drug dealer cut something with fent like that doesn't make sense it's another drug that costs them money and then they kill their clients and it's like bro you need a fraction of a gram like a hundredth of a gram of fent to get the job done just for a cut purpose and like that costs cents you know like that literally costs pennies like it's it's nothing so it's fence more common than ever it's in xanax presses it's in bags of coke it's in all the opiates you're doing like all the perks that people are smoking on the street aren't perks it's just fent you know it's all fent presses and now like that's what people want like they want stronger shit yeah it's ugly you know i think like i don't know i i think personally it's just important to like follow whatever you're doing drugs like don't bring the bag home you know keep it in a social setting as as long as you're able to maintain that like party as much as you want yeah that's your okay that's kind of how i view it i think the the always like the moat that i try to set myself and i'm like i'm never gonna cross this is like if i'm partying and i'm out and i'm doing stuff with friends it stays out i'm not bringing it home i'm not gonna do it alone on my own at the crib i'm not gonna wake up the next day and immediately start railing or do whatever i think that's when you cross a line yeah so what what was it you think that made you because you know some people there's people that claim like yeah i'm just completely powerless if i even look at or see it um yeah it's just it's a wrap for me what kind of clicked in your head to where you're like okay i think i have this shit under control or like i'm good on this i mean it's rehab never worked for me like i technically did rehab twice because i did a outpatient and then i did a smaller inpatient stay and then a full residential stay it's like two and a half i guess and rehab never worked a lot of people always preach the process and like oh you have to be completely bone sober but i think like telling like for a lot of drug addicts being like hey you have to be sober forever is a very scary thing yeah and like even hearing that immediately he's gonna make someone be like what the fuck yeah like i'm not sticking with that you know yeah i think a lot of the things that help people there are some people that i think that do love that whole like i'm just white for sure yeah ever and you know whatever because it becomes just a whole you know your whole thing it's just like yeah i'm just nothing one day at a time and i think it's good for some people but then some people yeah i know a lot of people have tried that and they're like dude i just can't get with this i found a lot of people have success being like all right opiates are my problem i cannot just i can't be around them but then the problem is a lot of those guys will go i'll take some xanax and they go that's kind of sick let's take some mad right and they they just end up they do end up right back on the opes but the people i know who are like you know say like i'm staying off of opiates and then they kind of like take mushrooms here and there they still get that charge and kick but it's like you're not going to do a lot of opiates you're not going to do a lot of mushrooms and be like yo i should go steal my brother's playstation you know it's like yeah so i feel like that's to me at least i think that helps a lot of people yeah i mean i think harm reduction is the key and like for me i like towards the end of my addiction it wasn't fun the last few months and like i realized every day when i was waking up and getting high and doing all the shit i did like i was not enjoying it like feeling getting high felt good but like i was starting to have those thoughts in the back of my head like man like this isn't fun like i wake up and i feel like shit every day i feel like i'm not going to be able to do anything right now while i'm high and if i do more i'm just going to feel more like shit and then that one day i remember i it was like five or six in the morning it was rush hour morning rush hour and i had been up for a few days doing blow and doing ketamine and doing my whole thing and i was having i was having one of those really bad freak outs and like i remember i was having these really bad heart palpitations and my hand on my chest and i thought i was like about i have a heart attack my heart was going so fast and i had railed a bunch of fucking lines and like at it was just purely an anxiety thing and i remember i'm standing there in a cold sweat i run out onto my porch and i sit down and i'm in my underwear broad daylight and like i live right off a main road at this point it's like all these people are driving past looking at me i didn't give a fuck i'm sitting there on my porch like breathing in the fresh air trying to do like breathing exercises to make myself like not die and like yeah in that that specific like that moment itself was a pivotal point for me where i was like dude i can't do this shit anymore like this isn't fun i've been having those like panic attacks more frequently and that was the one where it was like bro i can't do it anymore body basically was like all right and it was it was hard at first with most of the other drugs like xanax was a bitch for me to get rid of but coke was an easy one because i viewed coke as the source of my anxiety and paranoia and problems and i immediately after that day i remember i flushed my shit i got rid of it and my strategy that i tell everyone i always recommend this to people if they're able to is dude just smoke your way out of it like really genuinely smoke yourself so stupid every day eat a bunch of edibles if you have to that like you can't even fathom fiending for something you know because like the real thing that you need is like you need time for your brain to reset like you need that chemical connection that addiction to like reset and a lot of people like you're not going to get that time just sitting at the house you're not going to choose to do that but i found that like when i was eating a shitload of edibles and just ripping dabs all day and just getting violently high as often as i could that it would knock me out of my head and i was like i'm not gonna do that i'm not gonna do that i'm not gonna do that i'm not gonna do that i'm not gonna do that i'm not gonna do that i'm not gonna do that half the day and like enough time passed where eventually it was a thing of like hey i'm not feeding so hard i'm about to punch a hole in the wall because i'm out of blow it's more of a thing of like i'm in my head thinking like man coke would be nice right now but i don't have to act on that yeah yeah you know and once you reach that point it's kind of smooth sailing from there in my opinion so there was like a real almost physiological kind of oh yeah yeah there was i had a really i never had like the the physical mental or like the physical withdrawals of like cold sweats and like twitching and puking in my bed and stuff like that so i was like i'm not gonna i never got that but like mentally yeah and like to this day i still xanax specifically like bro i'll be sitting there sometimes especially if after i've had a couple drinks and i'll just be like man xanax it's like the worst time to take it though oh yeah well okay worst by medical definition but like come on dude like no it's not the worst time you know so yeah i i uh well i'm i i do think it's a crazy way to treat it where it's like don't touch it at all and it's like yeah yeah okay like louis ck has a great joke about it how like you got to tell your kids not to do drugs but drugs are literally the answers to all their problems yeah and it's like yo you'll feel awesome actually if you're actually being honest like no you'll feel great you'll be confident yeah but the this is what i found i i you know i used to drink when i was younger i started drinking super young and uh just drinking smoking weed whatever and uh specifically drinking though i would i always get i socialized i would socialize with my friends i would socialize with my friends pretty much like grew up socializing drunk it's always drunk if i socialized yep and then i just the alcohol just started just not agree with me i got sick of being hung over so then i had to like learn which i'm still learning how to do it now i'm 40 but it's like i had to like learn how to socialize sober and i was just like damn i wish i fucking learned how to do this when i was younger because i'm like still bad at it i still struggle with that too yeah i get drunk before everything yeah really i mean dude every podcast i've like ever done on the gobcast i just drink before it really so how's how do you manage the alcohol then i mean i'm not drunk you know i don't get hammered one or two shots when i when i have like a someone i don't know coming on the show yeah i need to loosen up interesting okay so that's fair yeah but i personally like i don't enjoy drinking like getting blackout drunk i like drinking in like combination with other things yeah yeah give me a couple glasses of whiskey and a joint and like a couple lines you know give me i don't know take some shrooms smoke a joint maybe one glass of whiskey you know i think drinking is just like a good like mix in the pot kind of thing yeah okay so you're not like a hardcore drinker right well with stand up i remember i used to be but yeah well stand up i remember being like dude i have to have two drinks before i perform and then i remember being like well fuck i kind of at the time i would do stand up like every night i'm like i don't feel like drinking every night so then i had like i was able to and this is you know this is the stuff i do kind of like where it's like you know what exactly why do i have to do that and it's like with time you just you can get over that stuff that's the one hundred percent but to me it's like i don't want to come off as like preachy like if that's what people do that's what people do but i remember being like because i was like impossible i'm not really a public speaker i need my two drinks and then um i was like no you know what tonight i'm going up sober it was like years and years ago and for some reason i was just like i don't even know why i did this i wore a backwards hat on stage i never i would never wear a backwards hat but i was just a new shit so i need to have like some other thing and i stood up there completely like oh like stone sober with a backwards hat bombed and uh but now it's weirdly enough i prefer if i do stand up i prefer to be like completely sober and i wanted i wanted to be like a high on stage guy i was like you wouldn't want to have a couple drinks every night but it like i just objectively i'm better if i'm sober yeah because i'm more like kind of keyed into everything going on yeah i'm not high doing being high and doing stand up for me it's a nightmare dude being high and doing anything where you have to think it's not good i've kind of been noticing that lately too i've finally for the first time in my life like since i've been in smoking been like tapering off a little bit you know and only smoking at night and stuff like that because like dude i look back at like some of my old stuff on the internet where i'm super high and whenever i'm super high in the moment i'm thinking to myself like dude this is great you know i'm talking a lot and i look back and i'm like yo i'm a babbling fucking idiot yeah dude like i'm saying nothing right now so yeah i've tried to slow down on smoking too yeah i i still i like uh like doing kind of cycles with weed where i'll like quit for a while and then i'll come back and it's a little tea break yeah a little little break dude it's nice because it like otherwise it just i feel like you know i feel like i'll feel like dull after like daily smoking but you take like months off and come back you're like it's i don't know that's the way i kind of it's got to be a treat that's the only way it's fun you know if you're just smoking all day it's pretty boring yeah i like it as like a little little gift at the end of the day it is it's truly a gift at the end of the day a little surprise but that's no that's a cool way of thinking of it because it is like you know it's like as far as like youtube guidelines i'm sure they have their like legalistic kind of like no it's like you can't endorse this but it is like okay well there's still people dying from fucking overdoses because this doesn't work for him or that doesn't work for him and at least yeah like you're saying if you can at least like reduce the harm a little bit by being like hey the rooms didn't work out for you yep how about you fucking just take 19 edibles a day and see if you can manage that it's like it's at least attractive to an addict's mind we're like yeah i'll just get high as fuck all day fuck yeah and addicts to like you know like the worst stuff and they'll like have like a hard mushroom trip and at least for like five months they would just be clean yeah and then like you know life will come back and yank them back into that stuff but it is it was pretty astounding to see people be like nah i'm just chilling right now we got to do more research on that shit yeah you know i mean we're probably pretty far from that actually happening but i mean shrooms genuinely like cure people from stuff you know ketamine does too we're just starting to discover that you know even acid yeah well that was i think the original aa model was to take you're supposed to take acid really yeah the guy bill w whatever his name was that was like that was uh the whole point of it was like it would get you there you would like start talking and they were like you got to basically induce some form of mystical religious experience and then he he had done lsd and that's how like that he was like a hopeless alcoholic yeah and i think he did acid and kind of was like i think they leave that part out of the curriculum nowadays it's a shame they left it out they left it out but even again it's not like everyone has to do that but it's like all right some people this yeah for some people that works for some people here's your options pick one and try it out rather than being like show up every day and just fucking eat shit yeah just white knuckle it for the rest of your life i mean it's so much more appealing to just be like yo you can get high as fuck still just on this yeah or it's like it just scares the fuck out of you you get you start tripping you're like oh dude i'm like stealing my little sister's money some people need out of body kind of perspective it gives you you can kind of really see yourself and go like oh god dude how the fuck did i start doing this yeah so but no that's uh but your channel rules i do like your channel thanks man i really appreciate it very funny the stories are really awesome i like the show you got here dude this is a very cool setup appreciate you i like this you know i've gone on a few podcasts that are very like sit at the table and talk but this is fun hell yeah i like this stand what's the crap like what is this what's the art everyone asked me i have no idea i should research this at one point uh it's i like i you know it's funny i've like googled it a couple times okay i've read all about it my brain doesn't retain it at all i think they like they're being spot like someone's coming up and like it like kind of like catching these guys in a in a lewd act i think that was like an ancient devil's threesome oh i think that lady in the water symbolizes something i forget what that is i think that canoe's on fire or something i don't know guy on the right looks kind of like turkish to me yes very turkish uh some say some say he's her pimp oh and then someone walks up like hey what the fuck you guys doing in there yeah he does have the cane going and everything yeah although look they could be siblings oh i see a lot of resemblance well that was okay back then you know the shared yeah that was fine he might have been signing his sister up with a pimp he's like look i think it's a conflict of interest if i pimp you my buddy's also a turkish pimp yeah so it's a very recent development that you know your turkish pimp relative wasn't like someone to share your woman with but i have no idea what that painting's about it just made me laugh it's funny it's just an interesting i like it i like it but yeah man so what's what's uh you know what's the plans go forward dude are you do you feel pressure on the podcast to be like i gotta get fucking zonked i gotta ramp up or is it just kind of like when i was much like earlier into doing it yeah because the entire way i got into podcasting was like going on other people's shows kind of like this and like getting fucked up like i remember the first podcast i ever went on uh i was like nodding out in the chair at the end of it because i'd stayed up the night prior and i'd like packed a bunch of blow and zans in my bag and flew out to la and like was in my hotel room and i was like hotel railing him and that I, ordered a bottle of wine because i was like dude i got i'm not ready to socialize bro i'm only on zans and coke i gotta fucking i need a drink i'm not ready to talk yet so i start drinking and you know that doesn't combine with those two things well um so what do you what are your thoughts on like really taking everything away for a period and actually just being like what is bothering me to the point where i i would have to be that fucking high to interact with people i mean i think i've i've definitely worked on that over the years and kind of like i think i just generally am not very good at socializing without drugs because it's what i've done for a decade you know and after i started doing less drugs and just smoking more weed weed in itself makes me kind of more anxious in public places to begin with you know and then i'm already being like fuck i don't know how to talk to these people i'm not loose right now and i really kind of get stuck in my head about it and like you know i'm like i don't know how to talk to these people i'm not loose right now and i really like i don't know how to talk to these people i'm not loose right now and i really kind of get i think that's something i'm going to probably struggle with for a long while yeah from now too but i i definitely notice myself slowly like getting better about it yeah that's how old are you 27 oh yeah so yeah i got time to blow out you're coming out of your 20s yeah yeah i still i mean i'm i've gotten way better about it do you watch sports a little bit that helps you that helps social i don't watch sports that's like my achilles heel and social yeah polite society i'll go out and i'll be like you see the uh broncos and i'm like nah man i wish i did i wish i could share this with you right now casinos are my icebreaker really good car table yeah that's nice play a little baccarat blackjack you know start chatting it up make four new friends or enemies you know true either way you talk to them you know no that is that's a trick man whenever i'm like find myself socializing there is a part of me like almost narrating the events in my head as they're taking place and i'm going like what do i really want to talk about it's like i want to go home is what i really want to do and i'm like no you have to stay here i'm like all right it feels like a you know not performative but it's just kind of like you really had my druthers i would be chilling out laying in my bed right now yeah it's too easy to like get caught up in my head about like you know the situation at hand instead of just living in it yeah you know that's something that like i don't know if being bone sober would fix that it probably would but i don't know i could not like i said i don't i don't because again i i try to not be like well this is what you need to do but it's like because it's like maybe over time you get like you know you get exposed it's like um any kind of phobia if you expose yourself to the stimulus over and over and over eventually like oh this actually isn't that scary yep that's what happened to me for uh flying really i was very scared of flying you just did it over i used to have to like full-on like pass the fuck out every flight yeah and now i'm pretty chill that's tight no but yeah same i was actually very scared too but that shit is horrifying we're not supposed to be up there no and then when they hit that fucking turbulence bro like i fly a good amount and like i've had a pilot explain it where it's like dude turbulence think about it as like waves on an ocean if you're on a boat and the boat if your boat's going up and down that's just waves that's normal you're fine he's like in the area of current so like we're hitting that and it's just as natural as a boat hitting fucking water yeah but dude when it like goes on for a while and i always look at i always look at the flight attendant if i see fear in their eyes i'm like yeah we're fucked we're dying oh once they sit down in those jump seats i'm fucking tweaking i mean i feel like the turbulence dude it's got to be something telling us we're not supposed to be up there you know it's got up there could be god being like the fuck out of here i'm not a i'm pretty fucking religious born again yeah fuck god damn dude well hey anything else you want to talk about or you want to plug or fuck uh i don't know man it's been fun you know i always love chatting about drugs so if you ever want to do more of that you know yeah dude for sure i'm here to yap you know absolutely i think and again i want to make sure i hit all the uh all the things your videos are great i i just i like the uh you have a ton of funny stories is there here this is a question i think we could kind of go out on okay what what has been like you know because you're i'm sure whenever i feel like people are doing a lot of drugs you're around very colorful characters oh yeah what is like the greatest i would say tragedy you've witnessed in terms of like a person just careening into the absolute abyss fuck dude probably my old coke plug uh i've had the guy you smoked crack with no no different person that guy died actually so yeah not well not thank god but you know just different thing you know sure yeah so that guy died had to get a new coke plug and uh he was a very friendly guy a lot of face tattoos you know but like kind-hearted dude yeah but he uh he was out of jail on parole for like already selling blow and like had like a couple newborn kids that he was raising and stuff and like everything was going good and then seemingly like out of nowhere his baby mama like i don't know what happened like between them but like he started believing that like she was cheating on him and the kids weren't his and he was like i don't know what happened between them but like he was like kind of tripping about that and he would bring it up all the time and then one day he buys a shroom chocolate bar off a friend of mine and he takes it and he starts tripping the fuck out on shrooms at like the family house they're all staying with like i don't know if it was his parents or her parents they're like staying at the grandparents house with the kids to like take care of them and he starts tripping the fuck out and he goes and like gets in an apartment and he's like i don't know if it was his parents or her parents and he's like i don't know if it was his parents or her parents and he's like i don't know if it was his parents or her parents but not like anything crazy just like a you know a little slap back and forth and then they separate later that night i don't know if he took more of the shrooms or what but he like had a complete freak out and he goes in the room his kids are sleeping in and like beats the fuck out of them and like one of the kids took like permanent damage like vegetative state like fucked and he got sentenced for a bunch of fucked up shit and he's in jail for like 15 years i think or something like that all because one night and like prior to that he seemed like he like loved these kids like he really you know he posted his kids all the time took care of his family he literally that's terrible i don't know if this is actually good taking care of the kids we'd like have them in the back seat when he comes serve me you know like he loved it they were there you know they were there so and then one day he just disappears and one of my friends sends me the fucking news article and his girlfriend slash baby mama had a youtube channel where like she posted a two-part thing telling the whole story and like her face is all fucked up when the kids in the hospital they both lost custody of the kids she doesn't have me there like it's fucked dude that's by far the most tragic thing i've ever ever witnessed out of any well drug addiction maybe that brings me back to my original point where people need to deal with their shit yeah different yes that's sad drugs are not the way no i mean again it's not yeah that's a tough case because it's like yeah that's a dude definitely probably went to some sort of psychosis oh yeah yeah he tripped the fuck out and all it took was just one little one little dose god dang it's like that was like a sudden thing it seems like almost you got to make sure you're in the right mental space yeah like there's definitely a lot of people act like you don't have to but like you got to do some prep work before you yeah yeah you know yeah that's fair it can get ugly yeah it's pretty it's pretty gnarly it's like pretty much i think as gnarly as it gets yeah yeah close to it i mean it's it's just it's even worse nowadays to be i'd imagine these young kids who are doing the shit i did 10 years ago are experiencing way more tragic shit now because all their friends are probably croaking on fent yeah like it's fucked dude so is is fent popular with kids now the way like pills were popular well high school yeah actually there is like there's even kids that like seek it out you know because it's like if you're already doing opiates especially any of the opiate addicts like yeah kids who are like oh i just dabble in norcos and perks that's becoming a rare breed by the day yeah because all the norcos and perks now are fent yeah no and they don't prescribe that shit as much anymore so it's harder to get which just makes the fent more common that's why my rule of thumb is dude no pills no pills no powders yeah just you can have a good time smoking weed doing mushrooms yeah drink if you really are trying to like party and get after it you can have a ball powder pill free that's that's why that's why i'm always like i mean you you can risk it and be the man for 30 minutes yeah fucking on blow or whatever or just like chill out yeah still have it you can have a very i took acid recently i went to a concert too much it was enough fun for me for like a decade i'm good i'm good on fun for an entire decade but it's like i don't understand that's the one part of me that's like how what where else is it where you're like this is cool but like i guess that's everything it's like let's just see how far we can take this yeah you know what's really fucked too is a lot of like you can't even rely on normal like reagent test kits anymore really because the amount of fent that it takes for a test kit to declare that like it's a positive for fent is like a nanogram so like for example if let's say anyone that like ever touched the bag of blow you just bought had ever interacted with fent in a trace amount like they had a little bit on their thumb and they touched the inside of the bag and like or maybe let's say it's a even a reused bag so like what's in there is not fent but someone reused their bag and they pull it out and drop it it's going to test positive for fent it's probably good though you know it is it's good overall but a lot of people don't view it that way they're like oh it's saying everything's i know this isn't fans they just don't they don't test shit oh i see what you're saying you know yeah i guess they were talking about they don't want to be wasteful yeah i had a i briefly did a collab with a drug testing kit company and like we sold a like a couple batches of reagent testing kits and i would get dms from people all the time like dude i know my plug isn't selling fent like this shit says it's this and like it's like bro what do you want me to do like like the test says what it is you know and it's like better safe than sorry if it's yeah like why are you mad at me bro like go talk to your plug yeah and it's also like if it's in the house it's just a matter of time exactly yeah so it's yeah you can't get away with it people are never happy people are never happy no try to prevent them from getting the fent overdose and like dude this is fucking annoying the most valuable lesson i think i've ever learned on the internet is just to not try to make everyone happy you can't it's impossible it doesn't work well it's in life too it's like you can't do it in life especially not the internet yeah it's possible yeah it's a tough thing to get used to yeah man it is especially yeah you get a lot of you get a lot of hatred you deal with a lot of hatred online or is it pretty positive i mean i think especially since i've started posting shorts i get a lot of hate comments now really but i think that's just the nature of shorts in general like if you post anything on tiktok you go to the comments that shit is crazy yeah and i don't even view it as hate it's just like that's the nature of short comments like you crack jokes you make fun of whatever you see like yeah try to get the most likes you know that's what it is but like i don't deal with a ton of hate i think i when i was younger and my audience skewed younger i got a lot of hate from like older relatives and i would get emails from parents of like my kid watched your video and i just found this and like i got an email there's a mom who emailed me years ago this is probably like 2018-2019 or some shit and she was like i like found my son watching your videos i just want to let you know that my son thinks you're so cool and he's doing this drug this drug this drug and like he's ruining his fucking life because of you and like that seems like a i get those you know but i don't view those even as hate comments it's like honestly bro if i was a parent i'd probably write the message too you know yeah i mean also i mean the stuff of yours i've watched you're not very you're not being like dude go out there and go crazy it's more so like this is this is what happens when you do this it's there's good stuff and there's bad stuff yeah i try very hard to not encourage people to go do anything but i mean regardless yeah they're gonna go do it either way if they want to yeah dude that's it's also funny to be like how about you police your kids yeah yeah why are you you want me to parent him dude send him over to my house for a fucking play date summer camp yeah literally send him to wilderness camp dude put him in the fucking woods for three months please do something with him well it is yeah it's a charged subject drugs are a charged subject everyone's had his feelings one way or the other so yeah i guess that is kind of you can only you can only kind of go off like what works tammy regularly hauls stuff to her kids at college that's why she shops at bj's wholesale club saving up to 25 off grocery store prices beef jerky microwave meals laundry pods even they can't screw up have you met my kids and with bj's gas she gets there for less they call me the road warrior this is your home road warrior mom home of the save join for just twenty dollars at bjs.com slash mesquite and save ten cents per gallon for six months open soon limited time offer new members only bj's home of the save this episode is brought to you by txu energy for the first time ever texans have an energy plan that combines free nights all year with daytime summer savings it's called free nights and cool summer you get free nights every night all year long plus a 25 bonus toward your daytime use all summer it's a first of its kind plan created for how texans actually use energy discover how much more you could save with free nights and cool summer txu energy energy for everything visit txu.com for more information rep number one zero zero zero four three what doesn't yeah for the love of god stay off the fan dude yeah stay off the fan that's a good message yeah i think that's a fair one well dude thank you thank you dude i really appreciate it thanks for having me on appreciate you man this was uh this was a good time yeah man you should uh come out to la sometime call my show if i'm out there i will for sure hit me up dude we'd love to have you hell yeah fuck yeah later brother peace out guys watch new episodes of matt and shane secret podcast on spotify do it you