EP 61 - Our Hero Sammy

- This shit ain't nothing to me, you stupid piece of shit. - Usually when I see the collab request, I see the first one, I just tap that and I go, "Let's do it! Let's do it! Let's do it! Let's do it! Let's rock!" - Let's rock, huh? No, it's a YouTube thing. - No, it's a YouTube thing, though. - It's a YouTube thing. - I have a YouTube thing. - If you want, I can start collabing with you on the YouTube ones. - I would love that. - You got it, brother? - Yeah, I even said okay to the most recent clip as well. - I did not know if you would okay. - Me neither. - I did not know, and he was like, "Yeah, thanks for pulling the name out. Yeah, let's do it!" - No, I was just like, "Holy shit!" - All right, all right. - That's a fucking thing to lose. - Oh, 100%. - Yeah, I think it's 1-2 where it's just him taking shots at all comedians. - Yes. - Which was very accurate. - It's taking shots at comedians that don't exist anymore. - Yeah, he's also taking shots. It's like, "When is the last time you think an alt comedian gave Ivan Decker any money?" - Yeah. - Yeah, that's like. - I think he's fine with that, you know? - Yeah, you read about that. - Yeah, yeah, you read about that. - It's a bridge you can burn because it's a bridge to nowhere. - Maybe the oil company that the alt comedians dad works for. - That's right. - It's given Ivan money. - That guy's mean to me. - Doing corporate, yeah. - I can't shit on alt comedy. I do Tesco corporates. - So. - Can you imagine if you shit on that kid who's dad like owns Grand Theft Auto? - And then you just go like, "Hey, you know what? It's gonna be delayed another day." - Yeah, and they just like didn't let you play Grand Theft Auto since. Like you try to log in. It's just like, "I heard you're a little bitch, and then you're an Xbox explode." - He was a DLC. - He was a DLC typologist. - Does DLC called the "Ballad of Gay Darcy" Boone Collins? - Yeah, I just fucks with you. - The "Ballad of Gay Darcy" is just like a fat disabled guy in a hospital. He's had to drag him around and it's the most annoying fetch quest ever. - Why does every beer look like Darcy now? - Yeah, but. - Yeah, it's dragging around. - Yeah, he was in town recently, wasn't he? - He was. - I assume he's everywhere in his private jet. - I've heard people say he's a nice guy. - He's a nice guy. I saw him. I don't know if you're gonna get me up. He said, "What's up, buddy?" And I said, "Oh, hey, how's it going?" - I've also heard he's a nice guy, but it's like, "You could be a much nicer guy if you donated like a billion dollars." - So like, fight for us fires or something. - Rather, you could be a way nicer guy. - You could be here in the basement here. Right now, you could be turning the tides into Ukraine. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, that's really the thing. - You could be shifting it all. - Look, your father's GDP is like equal to Canada. - You could really be a much nicer guy. - 100%. - And then I get that, like, giving a billion dollars to Ukraine. That's a lot of money. How about this? Me 50 bucks. - Yeah. - You're the nicest guy ever. - Dap me up, slide a 50 in there. - Yeah, this is Canadian money, too. This ain't shit, do you? - Yeah. - What a legend. He'd be if he just, like, went around town. And just if you recognized him on the street, he just gave you money. - Dude, every time he dapped somebody up, he slid them 50 bucks. That would be such a baller move to do it if you were a billionaire. - It would not impact his body. - He could, that's literally the interest he makes in a day. - Yes. - But then he would be told that - The interest he makes in 10 minutes. - Yeah, but then you'd have to dab of so many homeless people. They're like, "You gotta give back to charity." - Hey, oh, fuck. - So? - You have to do half of all these. Brother, you've seen the homeless people around us. Do you really want to be rubbing elbows with those folks? - What I'm gonna go say. - That's true. He would die in one month. - Yes. - He would be very short-lived. - He would be exposed to some shit pretty quickly. - He would get torn apart by dabs. Like, the zombies would all be trying to dab them up, and they would rip his arms off. - He's one in a time, one in a time, please. - He could really fast-track it if he just, like, rented a building in the downtown east side of every city. - Yes. - And then just got on the roof with 16 t-shirt guns. - Yeah. - And then just kind of fired fifties into the air and then was like, "Come see me do an open mic tonight." - How many people do you think would die on the downtown east? - I was gonna say, I was gonna say, he would put, he would load one up with a few too many bills and it would kind of be like a Ned Flander's wife's situation. - Yeah. - Just snipe someone, crossing this street, and aw, awesome way to kill a homeless guy. - Oh, throwing too much, best way to kill a homeless guy through too much money on a mid-round. - 5,000 dollars. - And we're making it round and gold coins. - Just a homeless dude in pale with a bunch of arrows made of money. - Yeah, charitable manslaughter is crazy. - Charitable manslaughter. Charitable manslaughter sounds like a pen name. - It does, yeah. - Okay, hey, you know what? He's trying to be a comedian. Can't spell laughter without slaughter. - I'm very curious what drives him to-- - That does sound, yeah, sorry, I was thinking of a black comic named Charitable manslaughter. (laughing) - Charitable manslaughter. - A mess down the show. We got Charitable manslaughter. - Y'all love Dolce's Sloan. You're gonna love Charitable manslaughter. - The one and only. We need to abolish prison systems, but you best believe we're coming in with that Charitable manslaughter. - And so I, you know, you guys know I'm a huge fan of comedy bang bang, and of course, and I don't want to, well look, I'm just trying to clean this up. So, I've been told that that voice, which I think is just us, we're just playing around. - There's character now. - We're just doing a character who perhaps-- - Like they did on comedy bang bang. - We're doing young comedy bang bang bang. - We're doing young Bobby. - Yeah, young Bobby. - Or perhaps an American who's from a more urban setting than all three of us are. - Yeah, of course. - So I've been told by a guy who may or may not be a star of a, of a, of a. - A Dull son. - A Dull son. (laughing) - That's being your bad effects comedy bang bang. - Dulled him. - Obviously, aired on FX. - Did it really? - I believe it did. - Wow. - The TV show. - For how long? - Not long. - I believe that. - I believe that. - Louis, can you-- - Reggie Watts didn't tell me that. When he shook my hand like this one time. (laughing) He did that, he had a coconut, who was horrible. - I told you about seeing Reggie Watts walk through downtown Vancouver, and he's peaking on clearly. Every single person will look at him with the way he was dressed. - He had a t-shirt gun full of money. Things would've gone a little differently. - Oh, brother. - But he doesn't make that kind of money. He makes a little bit of bang bang. - He looked like a more authentication Bootsy Collins. Like it was insane to see him just walking around. - Sneaker's Collins. - Yeah, there you go. Sneaker's Seak Collins. Steel tipped Collins. Anyway, sorry, you were saying the star told you. - So, I'm not saying that he told me this, but it was heavily implied. - Yeah. - Through sniffles and. (laughing) - And whines. - And whines. - Through sniffles, whines. - And pauses. - Yeah. - He also told me that I'm becoming the worst kind of white guy, which what the fuck does that even mean? - Yeah. - But, yeah, that he does not care for that voice, and neither will the general public when they hear it. - Really? - We have to really get rid of that voice. - I would make the argument that we ain't playing for the general's mother fucker. We playing for the mages, all right? - Come on now. - That coat, come here. There we go. - He just slipped me in 50. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Look, you guys know I love to laugh, I love to smile. - And Joe, that's Todd Howard, do you know that? - Really? - The creator of Skyrim, you know. - There'd be so many of Todd Howard's son, who became a Black Harvard. (laughing) - Todd Howard's. - Y'all never been to White Run. - Deandre Howard, now featured. (laughing) - Y'all never been to Black Run. - I'm mixed mother fucker. - My dad's a Nord, my mom's a Cajete. I got all claws. - Y'all are all turned around. This is New York City. You're trying to find the burbs. Let me knock it on your map, bitch. (laughing) - Right now, a star of FX is currently pulling his hair. - Right now, a star of FX is sniffling. - Well, actually God is doing that for him. - Oh no, don't do that to him. He's also, you guys are so mean with that, 'cause he's clearly not. And in the car, you're like, you guys are tripping. But you never know, actually. - I gotta see you guys twist the knife on that man. It was very cruel. - What's with you guys? - Both of you. - I didn't do it. - I think it was last summer. We're driving around and, you know, an undisclosed star of a TV show was in our car. - Jack in it. - Jack in it. - Yes, yeah. And he was in our car and he was talking about possibly going bald and he'd be going baldening and I can understand how he's an actor. That's probably a scary thing to come to terms with. And both of you guys talked him down and then once he was calm and immediately start revving him back up again. (laughing) - I felt like you both calmed your friend down and then realized at the moment that he was settled, you were like, oh, we can't have him too calm. - Yeah, no, no, you're fine. Oh, wait, no, from this. - Oh, it's actually not that bad. - No, no, I didn't see it before. Yeah, you were wearing that yamaka so I couldn't see it. - Well, when he goes bald, I mean, the real hard part is going to be when he gets replaced by Alf. - Yeah. - Don't tell him that. - Bobby's dream. - Yeah. - All right, Malik lost too much hair. This guy's got nothing but hair. (laughing) Here we go. - The last guy I didn't eat pork. - Well, this guy eats cats. - This guy eats cats. They both have huge noses. This one has way too much hair. (laughing) But anyway, so he's told you to stop doing the voice. - He didn't tell me anything. - No, he didn't tell us to stop doing the voice. He has said a lot of the times he goes, "Well, you guys really do the voice a lot." And I go, "It's funny." And he goes, "Yeah, it is funny." - Yeah, yeah. - And as a comedy banger guy. - I do it to my girlfriend sometimes. - Me too. (laughing) - As a comedy banger, fan. - I'm always just looking for new, interesting ways to make people laugh. - Yes. - What if we didn't do the voice for an entire episode? - Okay, well, voice should have been instead. - Oh, hell, oh, oh, oh, me no right, those jokes. - Okay, so now he's doing an impression of me when I was younger. - There we go. - That was an impression of a guy having a stroke. - Yeah. - Oh, dude, I did the Japanese voice last night on stage. - I knew you were a man. - So hard. - Full-rope Asian people in the front arms cross immediately. - What was the joke? - You've seen it. It was a joke where I'm like, there's a horny Japanese guy inside of all of us. - Oh yeah. - The show was brutal. - Yeah. - I finally started getting them. I started having too much fun. I was like, "Horny Japanese guy inside of all of us. A little John Endo inside of all of us." - Yeah. - Got a laugh, John Endo was right before me. - Yeah. - Then I did the voice, rest of my sad fucking balls. - Oh my god, yeah. I lost the audience. hard the other day as well. I lost him. I was doing a crowd work with this guy and I was like, "Where are you from?" And he's like, "Made in Germany, born in Montreal, moved to Vancouver." And I was like, "Oh, Craig, did your parents just, were they from Germany or were they on vacation?" And they made you and he's like, "No, they're from Germany." And I was like, "Oh, because my parents, they made me on vacation in Germany." You know? My dad was at Auschwitz and he said, "I knew I was getting a fucking boner right now." And then he looked at all the baby shoes and said, "Let's make us one of those." And they fucking hated it. It's crazy that that is, I can understand. Yeah, you got that prompt. And like, in my mind, I heard that. I went, "Man, I would destroy doing just the dumbest accents." Yeah. And then yours was like, "How can I make my dad horny and kill babies?" I didn't kill any babies that Hitler killed the babies. I'll be real with you. I think I'm so drawn to us doing that first voice because anytime I see a comedian on stage and I start doing any white accents, I'm like, "I'm tapping out, man." Oh, yeah. Like, this is boring. Can't watch this. I found Chappelle's white face was funny when he did it. Yeah, Chappelle's white voice is funny. I'm like 25 years old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was like 25 years ago and they've been doing it. So when people are like, "Oh, white people talk like this." I'm like, "You talk like that off stage." Yes. Yeah. You talked to me like that in the green room when you were upset that they weren't timing correctly or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That guy just went over. Yeah. Hey, what the fart? And then he gets up and he's like, "Who are you really? Get that fucking assy." Dude, I re-uploaded the code switching joke to TikTok and a bunch of very angry black people found it and started commenting and being like, "This ain't even what code switching is. They want to be a so badly. They even steal in our terms." And I just was like, "I know what code switching is. I had to change the definition for the sake of this joke." And they're like, "He's not even a good joke." And I was like, "If only you guys listened to my podcast." Oh my god, yeah. "If you listened to the boys." Dude, they code switch too. Do we have the podcast for you? Well, specifically for the ladies. Yeah, for the chicks. Do we have a podcast for your kind of fat sister who's terminally online? For your sister with the sugar foot. So at this point, I assume my girlfriends turned it off. Why? Let's go crazy. Get back here, bitch. Okay. Easy. Turn it back on. You coward. I didn't even clock this, but we were at the beach with my lady recently. And she was like, "I said something funny." And then she was like, "Yeah, my sister the other day." She was like, "Take it a back." And I was like, "Why?" And she's like, "Because you called me a bitch right in front of her." And I was like, "What?" I was like, "I did." She's like, "Yeah." And I was like, "It's probably pretty funny though, right?" And she's like, "Yeah, it was funny." But you know, you're like, "What's up, bitch?" And my sister just was like, "Whoa." And I said, "That's what a brother do." Did you say that's what a brother do? That's the funniest response you could That truly is. You doubled down. I love this dude. I'm kidding. It's a joke. I'm kidding. I think it, but I'm kidding. Let me go through your messages with my girlfriends. Let me see. It's a joke. What do you mean? Yes. Oh, dude. Have you guys seen a S tier generational run on stories? Sam Burns. Oh my god. Oh my god. I was talking to him a little bit today, just messaging back and forth. And I was like, "You are, I first, I was like, is he good? Is he crashing out a truly enlightened man?" Yes. I was like, "Oh, this man's completely that sound mind?" Yes. No, dude. It was yesterday as well. It is the funniest stories I've ever seen. They rip on another fucking level. I saw the one. So funny. They are awesome. Him doing me a friend. Basically, they're like, "Just for laughs, why don't you fuck with me?" He said, "Why don't he?" He said, "Why don't you fuck with me?" Why didn't you have my parents are asking? My family wants to know. There's like a knock at the door. You gotta get that. Dude, they're the funniest fucking thing. He also put up one today of yucky-yucks. And he started sharing a bunch of yucky-yucks posters and like clips of different yucky-yucks comedians. Yeah. What an honor. All six of these. I can't remember the exact thing, phrasing, but I think he was like, "All six of these great comedians all get to open for this guy." He's like, "Aggz, somebody goes, another huge win at yucky-yucks would love to be a part of your roster." And then he started reposing like different yucky-yucks. Yeah. They'd fucking move. And then like after like a sizable break, he like just posted another video being like, "Man, I just took a nap. Sorry, I was a little cranky earlier. Feeling a little better now. I'm just kidding, man. Go fuck yourself." He's like a stir. Yes, dude. And I, it's all people I've never seen. It is the greatest run of stories I've ever seen. I've ever seen. I recognize, yeah, like three people in this poster. Also the fact that he. What the heck? It looks like he's solving the mystery of their deaths. Oh, my goodness. It looks like an escape room poster. Oh, that's so funny. He also, the fact that he was posting it on the final day of JFL. Yeah. It's like the final day of JFL. You know someone there woke up being like, "Man, our socials must be crazy." Yeah. It was just going through him. He was like, "What the fuck?" And it's Sam Myers going, "Why don't you fuck with me?" "Why don't you fuck with me?" Yeah. The video was fucking cruel. He tagged Mark Bresulu. Once again, one of the funniest men in show business. I think one of the funniest people just like honored. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Holy shit. He is a absolute legend. Balls to the fucking walls. Have we talked about Yuck Yucks on this podcast? Like what Yuck Yucks is? Not really. Oh, we've shown you. I don't give. Yeah, let's trash. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like this chain of clubs that has been. How many people have been supposed to buy it by now? In my lifetime. Like five? Yeah. Well, then I can immediately remember like hearing and hearing the person go, "I'm gonna buy Yuck Yucks." Yeah. It's three. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So Yuck Yucks, it's like this chain of clubs ran by this old decrepit man named Mark Breslin who's like kind of like a bag of bones, but he also. He kind of used to be a comic, but I think he was like never very good. And he loves dark comedy. And it's like this big thing when you like start and you're like 19 where you're like, or when I started and probably when you started, you're like, "I'm gonna be a Yuck Yucks comic." Well, also, yeah. But we also start with the mix. Oh, true. Yeah. It was a one where there was like, there's a way cooler club. Yeah. And then there you go. Yeah. And I also started, I started at an independent club. Yeah. That like was like, yeah, Yuck Yucks is like a joke. Yeah. So bad. They don't really have a presence out here in the West. Yeah. True. Yeah. So even when I was like 19, I sat with like headliners that were like full-time comics. Yeah. They were like, "Oh, yeah. They're like a joke." Yeah. They don't fuck thinner than anything. Well, I was just not in it and crashing about it. There is. There is. Yeah. Yeah. You don't die any Yuck Yucks in Calgary, motherfucker. Yeah. Yeah. Yuck Yucks in Calgary. I honestly, when I was a kid, I watched that and I was like, "Shut up." Yeah. That's all. Like, pretty good life. But go on, sorry. But yeah, when I was a kid, I like went to a Yuck Yucks when I was like 19 and just starting comedy. And I remember watching like the host in the middle and the like headliner and being like, "Wow, I can't believe these guys are all full-time, stand-up comedies." Did my first gig for Yuck Yucks and I was like, "Wow, I just made 60 bucks." Yeah. Also, you're like, "Wow, he's sleeping in the back. He must have been partying the day before." And then he's like, "No, actually, I had a sprinkler fitting this morning. I had to go to a work site pretty early." So I'm kind of, yeah, kind of had to. It was really funny. Like, you know, I, coming from a city that they didn't really have a presence and then like moving here and stuff. And then there's, in my lifetime, there was a Yuck Yucks in Victoria that was open for three months before it fell apart. Yeah. That was the old jazz location. Yeah. Yeah. I watched you do dump his life set. He got out of the Navy, put his life savings into this club, and within three months, he was completely bankrupt and divorced and working in a food truck. Yes. It is like, it is like a. I just watched them just take this guy for all these worth. Drain gave him no guidance, no advice. Yeah. So then in the beginning, he was like, you know, we'll see if you're good enough to play our club. Yeah. And within three months, he was like, "I don't know if I have money to pay you. Like, it was so brutal." But do you remember the Yuck Yucks habits for it that opened up? Of course. Oh my God. I did that club so much. Another one first. It was obviously a drug fun. It was brutal. Yeah. I did it so much. With the hotel and liquor store, a public, and the creepiest hotel concierge ever. Oh my God. What involved in that business was creepy and unsettling in like a tale from the crypt way. Yes. I remember how the singers were too long. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I remember at one point, someone smashed. I think he might have been there with me, Darcy, but someone they dropped a full bottle of wine right side of the stage. Yeah. And instead of like sweeping it up quickly, he just got his foot and slowly dragged it. Yeah. Like the entire duration I was on stage. They would try to charge guest spots for tickets. Yeah. Trying to make you do the drink minimum. If you ask for water that come over with a water bottle and make you pay for it. Yeah. Yeah. It was crazy. You drove like an hour and 45 minutes. Oh, it's fucking terrible. Yeah. It was fucking awful. Yuck Yucks too. It also has like a non-compete clause. Yeah. So you're like, if you're doing Yuck's clubs, you're not supposed to do any other clubs in the country ever within like an insanely huge radius. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like, like, like. like 500 kilometers something like it's like crazy. Like I'm trying to think of what it actually is and I'm pretty sure it is like 40 kilometers. - Yes. - Something like it's like a huge chocolate land. - It's like nuts. - And then like you can't do any shows within this for months. - Yeah, and also the story I've heard of Toronto is specifically at the Toronto club. There's a sectioned off area. And they're like, you can't sit there. If Mark Brezzling comes in and sees you sitting there, he'll never work you again. - Yeah he has. - I hit the Brad Garrett from everybody loves Raymond, the hits brother. - What? - He came and sat on that booth and then he showed up and was like, what the fuck is going on here and Brad Garrett was like, okay. - That's where my kid's supposed to play Nintendo. - Yeah. - Yeah. - That's fucking insane. - Yeah. - Yeah, that's like a famous story. There's so many stories of him being like a villain. - Yeah. - It's so funny like just like come it like I was a young man. I've been doing comedy for like five or six years by the time I like met a Yuck Yucks. - Yeah. - And you know independently doing like day jobs and stuff. So but I was like all right I'm like featuring a club and stuff. And then like just immediately they were like, well we've never heard of you. So we'll see if you're good enough. And I was like, oh wow, okay. - Yeah. - Like hop through all the loops, you know, like did the open mics and all that stuff. And then like finally got a weekend and then when I got my paycheck I was like, this is a quarter of what I've made at like every other show. (laughing) This is some of the least money I have ever been paid. And like some of the most bullshit I've ever gone through. - 100% yeah. - You made this as hard as it could possibly be to get in. And as unrewarding as it could possibly be. And then from then on I was like, I genuinely don't care if you guys never booked me. - Yeah, I think a Yuck Yucks is like, it is like almost like a Nigerian print scam for old white boomers. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? - They are who love it. - Yes, they love it. - My dad still thinks it's like important. Like I've explained it to him front to back top to bottom. Like that it is not, it pays no money. It's not lucrative, it's useless. It really doesn't have any benefits for like people in our position. - Yeah. - And he'll just be like, okay. And then like three months later be like, you're doing a Yuck Yucks kids lately. Just 'cause like, boomers love brands. - Yeah. - The boomers love brands more than eight. - They love brands when they were young. - They love them for brands. - Yeah. - Yuck Yucks are around since the '80s. - It's so fun. - Yeah, they famously Mark Brezel and hated Jim Carrey and passed on him. And then when you go to the Yuck Yucks, like I think most of the Yuck Yucks in Ontario, there's like paintings of them on the wall. - Yeah, so yeah. - It's like you hate it. - Mark's like I discovered him. - Yeah, he said it because I discovered Jim Carrey. - I know. - Famously, you mad. - They don't like him. - Yeah. - Yeah. - He's not funny. - Right. - But Darren Frost. - There we go. - That's the future. - A small, pudgy, edgy man. - If you are at home, do your stuff in favor and look up Darren Frost Heckler Glass. - Oh my god, it's one of the funnies. - Oh, it's over all time. - Yeah, it's a video. - And it's one of the funnies that you're showing me. - I didn't know who he was. You showed me this video. - It sets his biggest credit. - You showed it so many interviews. - Darren Frost, that video, explaining the Darren Frost video for the people. - So Darren Frost, and Darren Frost is a nice dude. - He's a nice guy. - He's never done anything. Yeah, he's never done anything to me personally. - I really-- - I never met him. - He's not an evil dude. - He's like pleasant. - Yeah, he's a nice guy. - Yeah, he's a tiny little man with a big bald head. And he tells really dark, dirty, filthy, like evil, sick, twisted jokes. - There was a video online of him. - He's doing this joke. - Conjuring wickedness. - Yeah, he's up there. - He's up there. - He's his evil spell. - He's casting dark spells with his words. - In a devil. - Yeah, I think he, I don't even remember what the context is, but he pisses this dude off. - Yeah. - And he's just like, you know, like your mum can't fucking whine. - Well, he pisses his guy off. And then the guy's like, "Hey, fuck you." And he's like, "Well, why? "It's not a choose your own adventure story up here." 'Cause the guy's like heckling him. And he goes, "It's not a choose your own adventure story up here." And the guy goes, "Shut up." And then he goes, "Yeah, okay. "Maybe it is a choose your own adventure." You flip to page 69. That's where I fucking fuck your mum. (laughing) - Great life, honestly. - The guy goes, "How the fuck you whips a shock last, Adam?" And hit some right dead center. (laughing) - Hit the center of the chest. - You're right in the gut. And all you hear is he goes, "Oh!" (laughing) And then he like, takes a few seconds and he like, is doubled over. - And then you, you think he goes and you're like, "Okay, he's thinking something really come back." - No, and yeah, it takes a few seconds. It's doubled over breathing. And there's just this perfect beat. And then you just hear someone of the audience go, "His mum's dead, bud." - His mum's dead, bud. - Oh my God. - And while he's doubled over there, he's thinking of something funny to say back to the guy. Like, he's like imposing himself. He's gonna say something hilarious and like smack this heckler. And then he just goes, "That is assault. "You need to leave the building." (laughing) - But in that video, I guess Big J. - Okay. - He came to town. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And he, in the green room, Derrick Frost showed him that video and was like, "This is what happens when you're the most fucked up "comic in Canada." (laughing) - Oh, God. - This is what happens when you do dark comedy in Canada. - It's so fun. - Oh, brother. - It's up there with one of the, the comic with the, I mean, I, you know, guitar based comedy has never been my favorite. - Yeah. - To do to the guitar and then like-- - Oh, when he's mad. - Yeah. - Yeah, that's big of the stage. - And then he just breaks it over the guy's head. And then the audience is like, "Oh my God." And he's like, "He was coming at me." And they're like, "No, he wasn't." (laughing) And he's just like, "God, I'm broken guitar." Like, everyone in the audience is like, "What's your fucking problem?" You just attacked a guy. (laughing) - That'd be great video. - Yeah, so I would love to see Carrotop do that. - Dude, Carrotop's so jacked. - Yeah. - He is Carrotop from one punch man, a loaf out of someone. - That's true. - Yeah, also Carrotop would probably have some contraption on the stage. - Yeah. - So you'd be like, "What are you talking about?" And you'd step on a suitcase and like a bear trap would snap on your leg. - Yeah. - And he'd be like, "Oh, that's the thing to stop "the Bernstein Bears from cheating." - Yeah. - Like it'd be something stupid. - It pulls out a cannon that shoots a boxing glove at someone. - Yeah. - It'd be a joker type contraption. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Go to grab him and it's actually a robot. The real Carrotop was in your seat the whole time. (laughing) - I'm over here. - I guess that's kind of more of a David Copperfield kind of thing. - Yeah, both on Vegas strip, both doing their thing. - Do hecklers ever rush the stage when they see magic? - Oh. - What the hell is this? - Get the fuck out. We're getting too close. - Oh, bad boys magic are at least popular bit of all time. - Yeah, I had a girl freak out on Saturday late night during my set. - Really? - I was like closing out and she like freaked the fuck out and like she ended screaming out at me then stood up, walked out. - Whoa. - I think her friends had to cover her drink. She had like a full drink sitting there. It was the end of the show. - Yeah. - And she lost her fucking mind. - Specifically, she was down for me making fun of the special needs kids, all the other skin, light skinned out. - You even having some bad luck? - Yes. - Yeah. - It was a fun set. It was a super fun set. And then I started doing the porn addiction thing and it was going very well. And I think that pissed her off. - Yeah. - And then immediately I was like yeah, 'cause these dudes are getting fucked up from it. These dudes are going and she's like oh, oh yeah. Yeah, are the guys, the ones getting fucked up from it. Is that what's happening? Guys are getting fucked up. You know what? And I was just like no, no, no, no. You don't let her get a single word in. She just started like kind of yelling over it, not getting laughs. Just being like I cannot get this woman, I can't let her get a word out. So she is going to hijack this whole shit. I was able to recover, but she stood up in like a hammer. - She was hammered. And I was just like, God, man, I, yeah, I didn't do anything good. - Yeah. - I was just like, man, I really hope she drives home. (laughing) Just like bad lines that people were like, oh yeah. 'Cause I took it a little too far. I was able to recover and have a fun set, but it was crazy to see her storm out. And her friends just sort of like, yeah, honey, drive home and the cops won't see if you don't turn your headlights on. - Yeah, all I could think was like just trash, Posey. You must have a horrible Posey and some boyfriend couldn't get hard. And now you're freaking the fuck out about it. - Oh my God, me and Darcy did a clean show on Saturday night. We had to do both do 12 to 15 minutes clean. We did, we both did it, we got through it. You know, I would say neither of us had the best set of our lives. We're not traditionally clean comics. And then we were in the backstage area and there was a very old man on the show with us. And he goes up right after me. I'd like a fine set, it wasn't bad, it wasn't amazing. - I was bullet, so that's my excuse. - Yeah, not fun. And I'm just bad at comedy, that's my excuse. (laughing) - You were up for the intermission. - Yeah, I mean, I was like. - Oh, that does sucked out. - It was like fine, like it wasn't like amazing, it wasn't bad, it was just like a set. - Can you say who was hosting? - It was, Atlanta breeding was hosting. - Okay. - Yeah, and she did well, it was whatever, you know? But the guy after me goes on, he's like this very old man, like he's late 70s, and he goes on and just immediately starts having like a deaf jam level set. Like he is destroying to the point where like me and Darcy are on the other side of a wall and it's like deafening applause. And then we're kind of like talking and being like, holy shit, he's like killing, and then I'm like, what's he even like talking about? And then we have like a silence for a second, and we just hear it was a denture adventure and then like standing ovation of applause. - Yeah. (laughing) - Like people are losing their minds. - I am, it always blows me away how just flawed audiences are with word play. - Yes. - This was a boomer S audience. - Oh yeah, but it feels like if you do a word play joke and they're into it and you just feel like, yeah, I do want to drink my spit, you fucking-- (laughing) - Well, I was on stage. It was sold out shows like 260 seats. There was a man like front center and I could just see him, he was like directly from me and this was him. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Blast his eyes. - Point your fingers. you're on a touchscreen and then I'd get a laugh and he would like look up and like kind of squint and then like look around and then just go back to his phone and that was that was what that was the hand we were dealt he was so old to that he had the thing on his phone where when he gets a text his phone light flashes he's just fucking cropping yeah phone is out the whole time and every now and then I would just like she didn't I'd be like someone taking a picture of me then I was like oh no that old guy's right on the way up on any size of a neon light yeah anyone under 40 I feel pretty good I had some pockets where I was like alright I'm killing and then somewhere I was like they have no idea what I'm talking about and I think I lost them by just like even mentioning yes I don't know like I was like I'm 33 yes yeah yeah and then yeah you know Ray Morrison shout out Ray Morrison the big dog yeah Ray Morrison I love Ray Morrison yeah yeah yeah it was like I have a new dating app adventures with dentures and people like yeah good for Ray yeah and then we went out to got dinner afterwards remember when we were in lobby guys order we walked out in the lobby the theater oh my god in town so we were just walking to another place to grab a meal with all the comics this couple that were at the show and like I'm going to just spitball here 87 years old yes both of completely white frizzy like dead puppet hair hair coming out of his ear yeah yeah like they put their finger their old gnarled finger in a socket and they're like time to go to the show I need some coffee before I go to the show put their finger on like yeah yeah over there they had electricity faucet quickly they could like Tesla taught me this when we went to school together and then my heart's a little on even quickly thick white hair coming out of his ears yeah what show of white hair coming out of his shit yeah muppet shit both of them 87 years old those like walking you know like the I know exactly what he pulls that the elder laughs when living as an extreme sport yeah yeah when like walking to and from your daily activities is fucking radical it's like climbing your sympathy and then uh they're both in like arcturics like top to bottom like designer like fjall raven outdoor gear yeah but just yeah and then uh uh wearing their clothes and then both of them were right in the middle of the door so we had to walk around and they stopped right at the doorway holding your ski poles both of them leaning over one phone just like oh oh and I was like you know what I'm okay with how I did yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah what uber uber call me a taxi uber and then uh yeah I just that made me feel okay because I was like I didn't have the best set you know like I wasn't and I kind of had a fucked day so I just wasn't in a great head space yeah I saw that and I was like you know what I feel okay with Bobby and our my audience is uh poor people poor young people yeah yeah yeah so we do comedy for it's way better and then these boomers have so much money yeah and uh and I what's gonna happen when they die it's not gonna trickle down to us no it's gonna trickle down to their kids I don't think it is either no probably not I uh it's just ceases to be I think it's just gone yeah yeah yeah kind of fizzles out there I said on stage more and they had pensions that gave more than we will ever have 100% I said on stage I was like is anyone in here been to Japan and like I swear to god like half the room clap holy fuck yeah I was like Jesus I was like you guys are fucking rich hey holy shit and then they like just like got so quiet and I was like I won't bring that up again yeah that's insane everyone has been on a vacation a year since the 70s yeah yeah yeah it's crazy and then we went to uh get a go to a restaurant afterwards to get food and uh talk about how much food you right yes the guy who the guy who runs the show he's did you order so the guy who runs the show he's very generous guy he'll take all the comics over food afterwards cover the whole tab like food drinks he's like he's great it was a great hang it was a very fun time great lineup yeah but Alex car has done a bunch of these shows and he always says to me he's like the thing is people get nervous to order food when they're out with them they don't want to be in polite he likes it when you order food I go crazy on the appies and I was like okay you know so then uh we go we're ordering food Darcy's like I saw a nacho barrel and the guy who's hosting the show is like get a nacho barrel for the tables and then I was like what about the whipped barata that seems pretty good he's like get it then I was like okay and then Alex is like get whatever you want what's whipped barata it was like uh she's with like uh tomatoes and bulzamic on top and stuff very good which bulzamic is that any present yeah how do you say balsamic bulzamic balsamic hey I get what you mean you say tomato yeah I say tomato you say something fucking sorry I say tomato you say balls hammock no no but go on I get what you mean and then so I order that you know and I'm like everyone's gonna be tucking in to all this and then I get a big main you know because Alex is like what was the main what's the what's the main you got i got roast chicken with like a potato and bacon and corn salad and like law yeah it was like a it was like a nice restaurant like yeah you didn't go to like uh you know a throw away or you know bones off braver no winning yeah yeah I got like a thirty dollar main you know what I mean the happy's were like twenty something each you know it was like a decent spot and then uh the food comes big thing in nachos and I'm like here we go everyone's about to be eating all these nachos I eat probably seventy five percent of the knowledge I don't know why you wouldn't start I couldn't you know I'm with you when those nachos come up as Susie's I'm like I have to walk away from I do I know Susie's one especially when Alex car orders them oh my god them exactly what to put on I'm like oh fuck these are so good they're so good I can't stop eating them everyone else is kind of just like watching me eat and I'm like well you got get in here and everyone takes everyone else with having a nice conversation yeah company and then every bobby's just in the center and try this you should book me more no truly would I book me one of the reasons I like going out for food with you and my friend Curtis is because I'm like I know when the food gets here will be completely silent oh my god yes yes well I have this thing in my brain I don't know if it was because of my parents are like growing up with siblings or whatever but it's like as much food is in front of you you have to finish like my brain does not let me like leave leftovers I never take left over from restaurant yeah yeah so it's like the nachos are like there and then there's like a few nachos left no one's touching them and I'm like have a stomach ache this is the first appetizer that comes out have a stomach ache and I'm like someone's got to do it so I just keep eating the nachos I mean I think everyone else didn't partake because you were really like you know you sort of like claimed to the nachos oh my Mark Carney mode on the nachos and you just you were like biting at us yeah yeah I was nippeter elbows I was fucking pulling the air the barada came with a bunch of bread Bobby immediately ate most of the bread so nobody could nobody could use the bread to eat the barada and I was like you could dip some of the nachos in it not mine and then so ate a bunch of the bread up bunch of the barada appetizers are done they're cooked they're cleaned and then my fucking main comes out it's like a huge piece of like three huge pieces of chicken potato bacon salad all the shit I started housing it I'm going in on this fucking shit and then you know I have a non alcohol again is I'm drinking that by the end of the meal have and I'm sweating I'm sitting at the table I got the meat sweats going on I got the nachos sweats going on and everyone's kind of just like stay sitting there and I'm like we should probably go right and then everyone's like yeah I guess yeah yeah we could probably head out and I was like we were sitting there we're having a lovely time yeah and then Bobby uh and 600 pounds heavier 600 pounds heavier with like chicken bones coming out of his mouth is like this is a probable go there's a problem they go right well literally because I was like talking and everybody wants to go I was like I'm about to take the most disgusting shit of my entire life I was like I I had to walk so I didn't drive to the venue either I had to walk to the train station walk down get on the train walk to my car and then drive home and the entire time I was like clenching my ass hard I was sweating do you sorry I think I've asked you this do you have a bidet your place I do see that's the thing do I fucked up on I on Saturday I had a fucking five-show or I could have been six show night on Saturday but I had five show night I I shit at chill pill and it was one where like my ass started bleeding it was like yeah it's brutal I didn't feel clean I felt disgusting yeah I wiped I'm not joking for 12 minutes oh my god oh yeah I think I know where your ass was chapter bleeding well the thing is Darcy's my ass is so fucking hairy it's so hairy and I cannot leave the bathroom until I'm like there is zero it needs to be. I hope you're going to listen to this whole episode oh she knows oh she knows I've made it very clear to her but my my I can't leave it so any trace yeah what point in the night were what's like nine o'clock no bill what show of should five shows which show of the five wasn't this would have been the third show okay kind of show halfway in the middle right before it started I did it and it was one of those things yeah yeah just walking over and you can feel it and yeah at least it wasn't itchy but it hurt that I got home didn't even have to poo but just for cleanup I was like I'm sitting on that - I'm gonna have a day in blast and ice cream. - Oh yeah. Lasting you go oh it hurts. Yeah, I know. It's fucking things. Yes, I know man Sometimes I won't even know that I chapped myself and then I turn the bidet on and I go oh god I know you're getting hit with a cattle prop. You guys really struggle with you. I do I do I can't go back This is gonna fuck you up - this I don't even know if I should be telling you this right now But you think your ass is clean wiping front to back go for a swipe the other way. There's always more shit You should never told me that yeah, yeah, I do the one that's fucked up and I know he's fucked up. I'll stand up Wow, I'll do the pop up pop back down go for it. I'm like, uh-uh. It's still there I'm dead serious stand up white. No sit back down. Why? Yeah a little do you ever hit your ass so hard with the bidet that you shit out of water? All the time dude. I give myself an anima I know it's fucked up about it is I don't realize it, but I think I'm douching my ass We've been clocking and like oh dirty water came on that one looks like I gotta go again It's I had my Sean made tea my cousin-in-law asked me this he's like have you given yourself to self-anima yet? Yes, what are you talking about and he was like you know when you like blast it and like a little bit gets up there And he's a dude who I like a lot. I know what kind of duty was Hawking guy. Yeah, well guy and I was like No, that's gay. No, I would never do that. And he was like dude. It's a game changer It is. I've already made my mark. I can't tell him the truth. Yes. Yeah, because sometimes I pop my asshole out a little bit the blast it really I know and then I don't have I've never had hemorrhoids because of this I get hemorrhoids all the time I got hemorrhoids because that is an amazing thing I should have got years ago and I probably would have never got hemorrhoids But I get hemorrhoids sometimes I take it I take it dump I wipe and I go that's a lot of blood Keep going It's awful. It's a lot of blood so much I go yikes. Yeah, it looks like it's Bobby's time for a period You don't get hemorrhoids but your ass is bleeding. Yeah, but that's just because I wipe it too much, man I think that's hemorrhoids. No, man. I'm just wiping that thing firm. I think Darcy is right. That has minor hemorrhoids Could be look I don't want to look into it if I don't know I don't know and that's okay with me Yeah, I didn't know his hemorrhoids forever I was just like I shit blood every now and then and like a lot Oh brother yeah, probably like a couple of ounces. Whoa. Yeah, you should really go to the doc. Oh you got to get those taken care of Yeah, you really got to go away too much blood. It's every now and then it's a little rarer Is it however now and then quarterly and is it crimson red? Once a season you shit like bright red That's how Bobby knows that summer's clay I'm gonna start working out more It goes a season you build a toilet with blood. Oh, yeah, there's a lot of blood. Yeah, is it are you certain this from a hemorrhoid? Yeah, because it's bright red. Okay, if it's dark red, then you're your cut. That's bad But if it's bright red, I mean I think bright red doesn't mean everything's great. No, of course not But it means everything's fine. You should probably go to the doctor. Yeah. No No, you got the bidet you're fine. I got the bidet. That's what they're gonna I know dude. I think I'm gonna try next time I go Next time I go on the road. I think I'm gonna try and get one of those travel bidets. I were told me about it What and get to travel bidet. What is it? I don't know. It's now we're just telling you about it I haven't done any research into it but he's like dude. I have a travel bidet I've seen the backcountry bidets which is like just something you screw on to a water bottle and then it has like a spout that goes up Oh, I would use it. I'd be too. I would use it a heartbeat. 100% you just get a little water bottle There's no going back man. No, I swear to god no going back dark. You can't you gotta get one For my life, there's before and after Hey, some people say that life doesn't start until you have a kid for me. It's once I got my purly white ass What I will say is if I do get a bidet, I won't share it because I think there's some things that can be kept to yourself Fair why Out there selfish this whole time I haven't been sitting here thinking this is good radio So that mostly these guys have filthy ass Yeah, man, have you ever heard how it's turned dude. This is how it's turned back in the early 2000 I've been sitting on the whole time You're ass never pussy. Well, have you shaved your ass? Yes, it's horrible. What made you do it? How did you shave it? Electric razor with a guard on Yeah, we need with it with a good like like a like a guard so it didn't like get right to the wood Oh, brother, but that shit growing back must have heard. Oh, it sucks when it grows back And also you don't realize how much friction there is yes, man until you shave it and then you're like wow guy You feel your ass cheap so much brother. Yeah, the friction make it worse. It just made it like fire in his damn pants Yeah, you get swast in a way crazier way It's because your ass is like rubbing It's a little bit like swag, but it's only from a certain way yeah, I got a swag ass You know, that's actually where a sagging came from originally. Yeah guys were like my ass is getting so hot I just got to draw my pants down a little bit ever since I got this Brazilian my ass is hot 50 seconds Brazilian, but what made you shave? I had just been my my ex was like you have the hairiest ass I've ever seen You have the hairiest ass I've ever seen then I was like maybe my ass is too hairy Maybe I should like try this out. It'll be like comfortable breezy for the summer kind of thing complete opposite the friction makes you sweat more There's nowhere for the sweat to go I have a lot ran she was also probably talking about her own in comparison to her own ass probably Yeah, just like my dad has a smooth hair There's a smooth Ukrainian white ass What's your problem freak? What's your fucking wolf man? Girl ass is a whole different vibe man Girl ass is a whole different vibe. What do girls know about men's asses? Not damn thing. I'll damn After this episode quite a bit yeah too much a couple of them know a damn thing or two. I'll tell you that much No tastes like shit. I think the only reason I got my ass It was because she saw there was a bidet. Yeah, she went into the bathroom saw that was like I'm doing this I had a girl who kept trying to get me to shower so she could eat my ass and she's like can you shower? So I can just fucking eat your ass and I was like no, I mean, you know, you're already sucking me out. This is perfect But I'm not good enough. I'm riffing. Isn't this better? It is better. I'm being funny Yeah, also I was like I have so much hair down there. You don't want to go there. Yeah. Yeah, like the hair is too much You know, even if I shower it's still it's hairy. I could condition it, but still Your hair you have enough hair that you can have like a silky ass. I've done that You probably don't know this Bobby slicks the edges on his ass You should use that little cone slicks the edges. Yeah, I know rost the tips. Yeah. Oh, that would be sick, dude Some fries your hair You've got your fucking sick guy Fieri asshole. Bobby's of asshole hair has got a perm I know I'm not allowed to get box braids up here, but if I do it down here. No one's gonna see it. What's the harm? No, the Vikings did it It's just one. It's just one. It's just one braid. Yeah, it's uh, yeah girls are obsessed with Playing with your ass. Have you noticed that a little bit, but I feel like never intentionally like I feel like every Girl that I've dated has always just been like well, can I just get in there? Yes They all want to get in every single but I also like I just want to see what you're keeping. I'll be honest with you I would fully understand it too if if they were just like out of nowhere people like do you know There's this area inside of a girls vagina that makes them feel incredible Yeah, yeah, I want to find that. Yeah, no, you'd be like let me find that Tarsi that's the joke is that it's the g-spot chariote. There is and there is and I could not care less I could not care less, but it's the same as if they like hit their clip from you too. Yeah, no Yeah, but I put the thing is it's not because it's like and you'd be like you're also like that's way worse than my mom's pussy You gotta get rid of that thing Yeah, but they're always like it. No, but like come on. It'll make you and it's like I'm already coming every time Yeah, I have no trouble with you. Yeah, you're the one who doesn't come. Yeah, you know No, she does of course, but you know every girl I've ever dated has acrylic nails. Yeah, true. Yeah, you can get a finger guard on there Yeah, I think that's gonna work out at all. She's gonna get a prosthetic finger that covers the nail. That is great and the opposite of a coke nail Yeah, it's my booty nail The destiny that women with acrylic nails have to do intimate things is crazy though. Yeah, it's crazy. Sometimes I see them The just the acumen of them with their nails and I would never even attempt this They're like surgeons. Yeah. Yeah, it's yeah, it's crazy Also the the lengths at which they're willing to go to just be like no, I'm keeping the acrylics Like an exo mine worked a job where they're like you need to get rid of that and she was like I'm gonna wear gloves And her job called for her wearing gloves But she's just like apparently everyone does it. You can just kind of like hide them under the gloves And I was like that's crazy. Wow. Yeah, it's crazy that you're just like helping out this attic and then you're like frip It's like she stuck me. Yeah It's opposite days. Yeah, she stuck me Shut up. So it's like yeah an acrylic nail is definitely the dirtiest thing that's gonna start It's a damn cure right there. Yeah, truly. Have you guys seen the lime scooter guys? Dude, I love those guys Just discovered that the fucking love that's awesome. They rule haven't has ever when did you guys find them? Oh, wow a couple months ago Yeah, I found them like today. It was like this is great. They're awesome. I'll see why didn't anyone tell me do like aren't they trying to do meetups? Yeah, there's the video of the dudes on a couch, and then they put the lime scooter inside of the couch and the cop comes The cop comes by and is like we're right. You're okay. And they're like yeah Also, they have one with Riley Harwick, which fucking sent me to Yeah, and it's him. I think it's him being like my friend's lime scooter got locked out of his account Could you guys please donate to help him? I might be getting a mixed up, but it was a very Riley Hardwick video. It was super funny. Yeah, very good Yeah, he's hilarious dude. Oh, have you gotten any videos recently? Has has a little special someone been sending you videos? No Oh, I'll tell you later, but Saturday there was a guy just be like, oh look at this silly video Send that to Darcy. Yes, I was like, Darcy's gonna love that Thing so and I was like, yes, he's gonna love it Another one I go dude send it sending goes do you think you'd like it? I go, yes, dude, Sean said you'd like Send it to Darcy man. He's gonna love that Checking my phone and there's an alert from Facebook messages. Yeah Anytime you come across a video like that send it to Darcy. I was planted in the seed dude And if you ever see cartoon porn send that shit to Ryan Williams Ryan Williams loves if you have sexy pictures of lowest Oh, yeah, March Simpson send that shit anyone listening to the podcast right now even if you don't have those pictures saved already Find some on the internet and send them to Ryan Williams. He loves it. He does He is it's not even a sexual thing. It's just like uh, yeah, he just likes the art. Yeah, he likes he already likes the drawings You just walk out of my girlfriend. What what is it you guys are going to the bathroom lady? I know I actually do have a big bud full of shit right now. I was walking over here and I was like Oh my god, I might have some brutal diarrhea. Oh my god, but I haven't I'm saved it. Oh great. Who are you saving it for? It comes out. Oh my girl. No, it comes in waves. I find with the diarrhea what what what Big tsunami, big brown tsunami. What what gave you what gave you the detune? Dude who knows I've been having some crazy ducks lately, but this is such a bad episode I don't like criticizing the pod when you guys are you guys were clearly having a great time. Yeah You don't like to yuck anyone's young, but when you're young, it's It's a little yucky and like way too much enthusiasm for a bidet. Yes. Yeah. Oh like That is one of the worst parts about getting a bidet is you do become a bidet voucher. Is that the worst part about getting a bidet? Yeah, the other part is awesome. Chapped dry asshole that bleeds. No, you have that if you don't have the bidet If you go shit in the wild and you don't have a bidet, I don't All right This might be Tarsie's last episode That was that buddy I have to pee. Oh no, what did you drink today buddy? I drank two cups of water and my thing of Creatine right before getting in the car over here, and then I had that coke. Oh, yeah, that coke send you over the edge Sean just took the train to pee pee town. Oh, yeah Next stop bobby's mouth Next stop the gender neutral washing all right here BB town tb town dp town. Oh, oh, oh god bb town Lazy town BB brisporticus sporticus double teaming at lazy town. Do you remember a lazy town? Do you remember lazy town crazy? Lazy town was a weird show. Very strange crazy that you know lazy town. I loved lazy town. Of course you did I think it's a puppet's a gayo. Yeah, correct. Yeah, you like puppets. I did. Yeah, I still do puppets are sick Puppets are awesome. Yeah, I loved like you know Kermit miss Piggy all the hits dark crystal dark crystal I could see dark crystal. I didn't see until I was an adult, but I did love it. Yeah, yeah, too Satanic. There's Satanic Bobby I always love that guy in dark crystal That's bobby prowling an open mic for people to riff up. Yeah, yeah, this is uh this is the Pretentious oh you like puppets. I prefer muppets actually Puppets are for babies Muppets are looking more dignified differently around here. Okay Now try to think if there's any other Observed situations that happen. I think Bobby. I think you may have been there for it But the lady who oed when I said my girlfriend was muslim. Yeah. Yeah, they're like ooh, but in the like ew Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think we talked about that on the pot already. That was a bad one You've been having to a bad streak of show like you've been having single audience members just like that interaction Yeah, very consistently been having like one person be like Fuck you. You've done the most sets this month. Oh Undoubtedly comedy after dark. Yeah, undoubtedly the place that pays the best. Yeah, I mean it is the place where audiences have the highest percentage of going rogue Yeah, one person could really give herself. Sorry to talk about another fucking crash out But the most recent one that I did there on Sunday was uh, they're selling great. The shows are being well attended Up top that up top balcony area everybody kept coming off me like they would not shut the fuck up Holy shit. They were talking the whole fucking show. So I was going last I was like I don't want to cause a scene. I'm just gonna like storm push through this Did the asian thing kind of lost them on that one Did lose them on that one Totally lost them on that one Got towards the end of the set and got a couple pops and I was like oh, I don't know where to leave you guys The people up top have been talking the whole set. They finally shut the fuck up and one lady goes We love you and I just go you love me and she's like yeah, and I go you've been talking through my whole fucking set And then she's quiet and I go I fucking hate you. Oh my god. Anyway, bye guys my name is My name is in shanla McDonald shan maham and McDonald. I'm like give it up Yeah, thanks guys. I've been Kevin Applebee Oh my god, I applied for a funny a f season two today. I saw that yeah, you fill out like a document online and it said Is there like awards for comedy in the states? There was a thing that it said have you won any awards and I just put I won the terry fox run at H.J. Côte in junior high school heavyweight division And then it said why do you want to do the show and I said I want to see if I'm taller than Kevin Hart And I was like, I don't think I'm gonna get it Is it open to anyone? Yeah, cuz I tried applying for the first season But then they sent me a thing being like, oh do you have your American citizenship or that's a work that's not like Yeah, I mean try this one who knows I assume would be the same. Yeah, maybe they probably were going to accept them and then no no They were most certainly not no. It was not like I even Kevin Hart No, it's not like a hey, we're interested. It was like the auto response. Oh, oh, here's like some more information for you to submit through Yeah, I think it was like this is the thing that's weeding out like all the crazy people that are on Yeah, applying yeah, okay. You're in like the first actual phase. Yeah Interesting. Yeah, damn Rats damn. I'd love to see Kevin Hart real life. Hi, and would you talk like that soon? Yeah Yeah, I just want to say I'm really not comfortable that first Okay, I've been patient through the diarrhea stories I've been patient through the badays. I've been patient through you leaving to go piss on my girlfriend On her hair. Okay, on her hair to bleach is it bleach it further But that's a step too far. Oh, what is your little voices. She yeah [BLANK_AUDIO]