Ep 609 - Mega Heider (feat. Corey Heider & Nate Marshall)

- Wow, wow, Wes. - And Corey Hiner is going on. - What the hell's happening? (laughing) - What I was just saying, what a joyous occasion it was to meet up. You were telling us about the people of, what was that? - Pittsburgh? - What? - No, the tribe. - The tribe, the family eagle in the snake in the line. - The Incas and the Aztecs, yeah. - Oh, it's Tinnokton-Lon. - We used to talk about Tinnokton-Lon just a moment ago. - Tinnokton-Lon. - Yeah, and I just liked that. - Yeah. - It's a great one. - They finally settled. - On straight wheel power. - Yeah. - They waited, they didn't settle. You know what I mean? So ladies out there don't settle. - That's right. - Don't settle. - What do you think of the modern dating market right now? - Oh man, well, I'm glad to be out of it. So I am brother, 'cause it is, it's like going bass fishing in the porta-party out there, brother. (laughing) It is. (laughing) - I can't tell if that means it's super easy. - Oh no, you did not want to catch bass in the porta-party, dude. - No bueno, no bueno. - No, no, no, no. - To Nate's point, it is easy. - Yeah, yeah. - You might be knocking turds around by the Nate's point. - You're going to catch a lot. - It's easy. - Yeah, you got a really bad turn out. - Nothing I want to eat though. - Nothing I'd want to eat. - Yeah. (laughing) - Yeah, I peed in the porta-party like two days ago. I don't know if this was on purpose, but somebody clogged up the urinal in the porta-party with toilet paper. It looked like it, like somebody did it intentionally, and it's like, why? - Create a hell. - Why would you want to disable the pee option? - You're going to hurt the only guy trying to help you. - It was really weird. I was like, I have a theory about homeless people that they thrive in fucked up conditions. Like they want it as bad as possible. - Yeah, and then when the porta-party, they see a porta-party and they're like, not nasty. - Not nasty, no clogged it with paper towel or toilet paper, piss on it, make it reek. - Some money, some money want money, some want power, some just want to watch the world burn. (laughing) - What's the nasty is porta-party, you think you're porta-party, dude? I've seen one that breached. - No. - We have breached water. - No, not breached water. - No, no, no, no, no. - No, no, no, no, no, no. - You're talking about the fucking portal. - I love sea level, 'cause she was like, you couldn't sit on it, you would have been penetrated by everything. - No, no, no, no. - I don't know how the last person done it. They might have a stem ladder. - That would have truly been Montezuma's revenge. (laughing) - Oh my god. - Oh. - There was a fucking mountain. - No, no, no. - Round dude, I'm telling you. - I believe you, but I'm telling you. - I didn't think that was wild. - Yeah, 'cause you put one here, okay. So here's the dynamic of it. The last two, three-peat or last serious game-changing last person, 'cause they would have done the last four or five pounds, bro. (laughing) They had to put the keystone on the fucking, you know. (laughing) - The peak, that was the peak. - That dude, it had to have been ascent. Really, you know what I mean? Get down on the squat. - True, the squat. - The Japanese squat. - Yeah. - But they had to be facing the outboard wall, not the door. - That'd be funny, too. - It was just a single. It was just a mountain of diarrhea, then a sandal solid turd. - Just float with like high spurt. - You just said you guys been eating broccoli and rice and chicken, there's a 12-incher turd. Usually goes the other way. I get the plug and then the break. 'Cause on keto, you know what I mean? You get that cheese plug cussed. Then the home bag, for two days, or you get one that you turned, sometimes you see it. Oh, you get a fool. That's what's been happening. Them are fucking trying to go back on a one-way. You can't be, that's a, uh-oh. - Yeah, it does suck when you get it. - When you poop and it's the shape of your intestines, and you're like, "Oh, man, that's good." - That's good, man, it's good. - You clean that out. - Yeah, I'm good for at least, you know, 18 inches in there. - That's true, you ready? - So how was the keto going? How long have you been on keto? - Oh, dude, on and off, so I started started seriously. Dude, I was like 385 pounds. I was like, "I gotta either die from this or figure something out." - True. - I was like, "I could eat solid to go to the gym every day." And I was like, "No, that sounds like some bitch shit." - True. - I can't, I can't, dude. I went to the gym one time, I was like, "I'm sweaty, I'm gonna go home. I'm gonna go home and figure it out." And then I just saw an internet article that said, "If you eat hot dogs wrapped in cheese until you feel like you're gonna have a heart attack, run that six, seven months 'cause." Right? Six, seven months, just run it, dude. And that's what I did. - Everybody else, wait, brother. - There would be times where I walk past to me, and I'd be like, "Who the fuck, oh my God." - I almost used to say, "You're peeking, dude." - My peek was 385. - Ooh. - So. - Punching fours. - Yeah, dude, touching fours, that's what, bro. And this is, like, I used to watch Robin Big back in the day, and Big was so big, like, you probably don't know, it's probably never knew this. A home scale typically only goes to 330 pounds. Or like, if you're bigger than that, go to the hospital. - Does it say error? - It's ain't a Walmart. - Yeah, it's just zero, it's just like, yeah, error. Error on the electric ones, or the other ones-- - Boop, boop, boop, boop. - I love them ones, 'cause at least you could still tell. You're like, "Three, 30 plus three, two, three, two, one." Okay, you know, so it would just be like, no. - Yeah, so back in the day, right? Me and my boy was scrapping metal for drugs. Just like any good, hard-working American, right? And we was at the scrap yard, right? And there was this guy that looked like the dude that lived in the pit in Waterworld. That's the only way I can describe him. He had never seen the sun, bro. And he just lived in scrap. He died by scrap, bro. He didn't leave his scrap shed. And I went in there and he had to scale. And I was like, "How high did I go?" He's like 25, 35, 100 pounds. I was like, "Can't stand on it." He was like, "Can't stand on it real quick." He's like, "385." He's like, "God damn, boy." And I was like, "Yeah, that ain't good, is it?" And I was like, "How much is trying to divert?" I was like, "How much you get for a scrap in somebody like that?" And he's like, "After your boy, a man down to the bear." Mineral was only worry about 12, 11 cents. (laughing) And I was like, "Oh, for a minute." Let's see, the first joke this guy has ever told her, we should get the fuck outta here, okay? Pretty quick, 'cause you were scrapping that day, we didn't even handle it. I'm gonna say stainless steel, dude. It was a stainless steel hospital cabinet weighed about 400 pounds, I'm gonna say it was me. And that's not bad at all. Oh, dude. It was a make for a haul like that. Oh, dude, we made like four or five park thirties. (laughing) They really do. They do cut the, if they think you're on drugs, you don't get the real scrap price. I know, dude, it's like a bartering system. No, I've seen it. No, I stole it, but you know. I've seen it in action. I've seen like tweakers come up in like a shopping cart full of wire. Dad get it away. Dude, they're like $30. And I'm looking at it like, that looks like a little more than that. You get like a tweaker price. They rip you, they just fucking crush them. They know you're just like, yeah. They know you'll say yes to anything. Yeah. So yeah, it's really funny. Bert, yeah, you got your Bert wire. Dude, the scrap game, especially on any job site, there's more problems on the job site due to the scrap and how it's getting like, you know, who gets it? Are people like sneaking it, stealing it? It's just like a never ending drama. It's insane. Yeah. Literally 20, 25% of my job is calling the cops 'cause someone stole the fucking copper pipes. You know, we got a rep on the whole house. Yeah, dude. It's just wild. Yeah, people go through your house like your entire house and just pull out everything. Yeah, dude. It's like trying to keep apples away from raccoons. You ever do that? No. Fuck. Bro, no. Bro, they'll break through your house vents. They will sneak through your fucking vents like Tom Cruise and Mission Fucking Impossible. They will scale down. They will unlock your door, let it lay on these. I don't know. I can't help but try to break it. I think I told you before. I had a raccoon try to break into the crib. I just had his little, this is back when I was living in Jersey. Just a paw reaching through like, where am I? My air conditioner was like close. It just was a little paw. I just grabbed my hatchet. I was about to hatchet his paw off. I'm going to cut his hand off like, I didn't know what it was at first. I didn't cut the thief's hand off. Hold it. It's just gargion rules. Real quick. You should have shook his hand. My neighbor had pet raccoons. Pet raccoons? Pet raccoons and he fed at Irkel cereal. Irkel? I just remember. Did he do that? That feels fucked up. Yeah, I remember going up there. I remember being like, damn, I never had Irkel cereal. I want Irkel cereal so bad, it's fucking raccoons. You get to eat it. Just right out the box. You just throw it in there. Oh, good. You get down in there with it. It was good. Let me say it back. They were cool. They were actually raccoons are cool. They're cool ass animals, but they're just, I don't know. They're just dirty. Bare family technically. It's hard. It's hard. It's mini bear. Mini bear. Short shot out the ursus major. Ursus. Imagine setting your makeup, then forgetting it's even theirs. Meet new grippy setting mist from Mavily New York. Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours, with flexible all-day comfy grip. No tightness, no stickiness, no residue. Just plump, dewy, hydrated skin that still feels like your skin. Try new grippy setting mist from Mavily New York. Maybe it's Mabling. So we should probably, you know, the way I found you, actually it was branded from Roughhouse. Yeah. That's my point of view. Yeah, he's a man. He's got, do the videos are so good, just going through, you know. So what do you do? What do you explain? Okay. Your thing. Okay, okay. So I'm a contractor by trade. Right? But all the houses see this in the hook. Right? It's like when you're in the Magic Palm, Monkey Palm, Genie wishes. Yeah. Right? Like you get to be a contractor, but every house you go into is filled with shit and diapers and dead things. I don't know. You like that? You're going for work. I'm about that. How about that for a pandemic job? I bet. It's better than being like the Home Depot and Stuller guy. I think they're like absolute underworld of contractors. The guy who puts in like a door, a screen door from Home Depot, he's like like dude, Nate, you can sign up today. Just be that guy. And be the guy. I would like to be there. And then you get there. You go, oh, I got to go up two flights of steps. That's an additional $37. Bring this shit the fuck up, Sarah. I'll give you a tip. It's a screen door. It's not charging me extra shit. It's really long nail that like sets it in like deeply. I'm like, that'd be nice. Like that's an additional $59. Like dude, what the fuck? Nickel and dime in you. Bro, Home Depot contractors come out and it's the old dog and pony show. It's like they get there. They're like a fucking Vegas escort. They're like, they show up. It's like, I thought it was 300 bucks. Like, well, that's to get here. That's just to be me. Now. That's going to be a couple of hot. Yeah. They're fucking bullshit. You need to get your own contractor. That would be tight. Dude, what are you? What's top in you? - Do it! - Lack of knollet, lack of technical knowledge. - Just grab one, grab one, grab, just grab a dirty, just a dirty, thick man somewhere out, you know what I mean? - I'm so glad. - Just a dirty, thick man out in the street somewhere. You'd be like, what are you up to, huh? - True. - You wanna be on my retainer, you wanna be on retainer? - I used to paint houses with my friend Spud, and he was, he like trained me, I can actually house paint this one thing I can do. But he was all mechanic, he was all technical, so I would do a lot of like talking to the people for him. So I know how, I know enough, and he would laugh, 'cause I know enough, I'm good with like, lingo, so I can like bullshit, and really make it seem like I know what I'm talking about. So I would, you know, you don't get a kick out of me, 'cause I'd walk around with customers, I'd be like, oh yeah, okay, I'd like talk, talk, talk. I'd turn them like, dude, what the fuck are you doing? So yeah, I could be, I could be the guy with the iPad, like the clean tucked-in polo that shows up being like, yeah, all right, let me have one of my guys, but you would literally be the home depot installer. Yeah, that's the start run, no more. Welcome full circle man, yeah, that's all I get there. Yeah, 500% markup, no idea, yeah. So you made the monkey ball, Jeannie Wish. You got your wish to be a contractor, but it's like the underworld of like, just fucked up houses. Terrible, he was recording it, dude, it's, I got so used to it though. It's crazy what you can get used to. Yeah, that's what I mean, bro. That's why I see my buddy's granddad who was a norm. I see the way he looks at fire, and I'm like, how do you get used to that? He just looks at it, like he's seen piles of bodies, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now I'm just saying. And now I go, it's a wild look to see it. I mean, as I was just staring at a flame, like, yeah, anyone you want to move. I'm thinking, oh man, this is wild. So you walk into the houses, and you're ready. You go in. Glaze over. Completely, what's the worst thing? What's the worst thing you've seen? I think you may have showed me. I may have showed you, and we may not be able to talk about on, can we talk? What's the rules? I don't need to talk about anything. I think you just can't show it. OK, so this is one time that, you know, when you go in the house, and first off, ground rolls, you break into the house, right? So what I do looks a lot like crime, which is great, because that's what I used to do, too. Like this is my alley, right? So we break in the second floor window, right? Because it was unlocked. So you go up, scroll up, do ladder through the roof. OK, you go in the house. They all stink, right? Because what do they fill with? You don't know? Is there a rat king in here? We don't know. We don't know, dude. We're not familiar. So you go into whatever bedroom you just came through, right? And he's like, we're with the bank. Are you like straight through a window, something like that? Straight through the window. Because there could be people in there, too. That's a scary part, yeah. With the bank, I got a gun. I got brass knuckles, you know, that shit. Just walk it through tough as shit. Just kick it through sweaters. I'm not afraid to go back to jail, you know what I mean? Absolutely. And a whole house stinks, right? So because the fridge had been unplugged for Christ knows, you know what I mean? So the whole thing is just from ground levels. It's no bueno. So when you go in there, and there maybe has been a lady laying face down in the kitchen for 11 months, you might not know right away. You might not know right away. They don't tell you that. That's all in the paperwork, usually. Thanks. Yeah. So what do you do when you find that like, what's the next-- Kick it. No, you have to. Kick it, dude. Uh-uh. Not on my watch, buddy. Nope, nope, nope. You give it the double tat real quick, you know what I mean? I got boots on. Ain't no big deal. Look at the clip. With the Play Dead Trick. Stab me the neck. You measure twice and cut once. That's good. So you-- Yeah, you got to give the tat. You got to make sure you don't turn your back on a corpse. No. I've learned that from every movie. And I'm not fast. I'm not. If you're already on the ground, it's the only shot I got. The wind in this, you know. I'm zombie, buddy. Dude. Curves tom. Out, cut. [LAUGHTER] So you're stumbled across the dead. All right, Pete. Sometimes, yeah. Damn, what did you really feel the first time? That's even not a funeral. I'm kind of jarred of the memories. No, I don't care. [LAUGHTER] I've forgotten. Unilays ever, yeah. I mean, I see-- I had a real fuck up childhood that we're not allowed to talk about ever. I knew I promised everyone I would. I wouldn't have said it. So compartmentalization is like, boy, she's on point, bro. If it wasn't, I'd be in therapy right now. Dude, I mean, I'd be fucked up. On the street somewhere. We just became fun, basically. Yeah. I was like, you got two choices here, bro. You can either get real fucked up, or you can become the life of the party, OK? What are we going to do? Got two avenues, cousin. OK, let's never talk about any of this shit again. I always say if I had a nickel for every time I got my listed, I'd have one nickel I'd never talk about. [LAUGHTER] One shot. I said, wait, what was the question? [LAUGHTER] You're just talking about it yet, it's just your-- Octetal Countless Locked-in. No, nothing going to break my stride. Ain't nothing going to hold me down. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. So, OK, dead grandma, that's OK. We should have our other jobs to do, OK? So hold on, let me call somebody. What's this 911? No, that's not an emergency. Let me find a hold on. Let me find a local number real quick. Please, I call up. Yeah, the priest. Yeah, I need an old priest and a young priest. [LAUGHTER] And maybe a F250 Super Duty with a morgue slam in the back, maybe. OK, you call the guy who collects deer? Do I ever tell you about the guy who collects deer? No. Brother. You should get his Instagram, but I don't think he can work a phone. He got them thumbs. But anyway, so this guy, right, I'm John-- What's up with his thumb? Don't even worry about it. [LAUGHTER] If you've got to ask, if you've got to ask, you can afford it. OK. [LAUGHTER] So anyway, OK. So I'm driving down the street, right? And I see this guy cut off Dale Earnhardt shirt, right? Hat on. Glasses on the hat, not even on his fucking eyes, right? Marble, hanging out of his mouth. Real loose. Real fuck. I don't hope it's the only thing holding that thing in his mouth. Hoping his dry ass lips would be in the sun and chucking deer all day. So he's got-- OK, so he's got a 1999 Chevy Silverado 5.3 with a fucking great motor. And he all rusted out, right? Bed falling off the fucking thing. Yeah. Already stacked with deer ranging from-- that motherfucker still looks good-- to jerky, because of straight jerky. That boy had been blade bleeding out for weeks. And he is on the side of the road. It's cigarette hanging out bare hands. I can't man now, because I'm like, he grabs his motherfucker and just heaps it on the pile and gets no gloves. Short, cut off. Yeah. Brother at the same shirt, no shower. I'm like, this guy be stacking corpses dirty. So that goes back to the point. You can get used to a lot of shit for money. Where'd you encounter this guy, though? On the side of the road. Where else do you get deer corpses? Fuck. No, we was getting the dead deer's not. He wasn't even humming. Road kill. I'm sorry. Yes, I should. I'm from Pennsylvania. Yeah, where the roads are scattered with corpses. Yeah, he was like the streets of Germany. Yeah, it's crazy. You know who knows who he's collecting them for? You know what he's getting? Probably fucking, whether they're dunkin' Heinz points or whatever they do. Any crockers? People eat road kill. He might have been munching it. Yeah, they probably pay it. They probably take a picture. They're like, well, P, $25 a corpse. Just stack them and take them to the dump, because that's what they do. They take them to the dump. I've also been on the other end of that, where I'd unload a u-hole on a start of fucking deer corpses. Oh. And I'm like, try not to step. I'm like, sorry, buddy. You know? Oh, man. I've had a bunch of throats to the other end of this program. We can take deer corpses to the dump and get some money. I've never been. Well, you know, we usually stop at plasma, right? That's usually where people sink. Yeah. I got a group of people. Yeah. Yeah. As far as legal ways to get money. He's got metal, plasma. Yeah. I've never been deer corpse. Deer corpse is wild, man. That's like an, it's like an 1830 fur trader. Yeah. Those guys are like trapped, varmigra. They don't even do it for the fur, though. They just do it for the love of ball. True. Maybe they're some antlers. Maybe that's kind of nice. Keep you from the urge to really murder. You know, if you want like people bodies, it's like, I was fuck around with these. Yeah. He's poking there. Yeah. That's our homeless people before, I thought. You see a practice. Yeah. Practice murder. Practice murder. Yeah. Oh, Christ. Don't want to talk about mom and therapy because we are in here. Man. Yeah. You could, you could, uh, hookers get murdered a lot, too. That's sad. That's sad. They're just doing a service for their community. I know. That's what I'm making you come and then you kill them. That's not even fair. And then you come again. That's not fair. That's not fair. That's not fair. No, no, no. Hey, right. No, you're right. No, no, no. No, no, no. Only in Grand Theft Auto. Yeah, I feel, I don't like you when hookers get killed. I'm the guy in the house anyway. I call him the same way. Murderer homeless guy, though, is pretty, it's pretty gnarly, dude. Yeah, I would never. But, yeah. It's just fun to joke about. Yeah, I mean, it's like, it's like, it's more fun to choke you to death, too. You're down. It's funny enough, I got in my car the other morning. I got in my car the other morning, I was driving, I had run early, so I was like a little sweaty. I was, you know, get in my car and I'm like, fuck, I saw someone had rifled through my glove box. I'm like, the homeless guy went through my car. And then the car, I'm like, the fucking stinks like a homeless guy in here. No. And I'm like, drive it. And then I was like, I think that's me actually. And I was like, I think it's both of us. I think the homeless guy's must have. Was he in there? No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. I didn't think you were by the day he was in the back seat. Yeah, dude. No, I didn't even check. I should have checked. Yeah, dude. Just that mirror. True. He's in there. I might leave him a snack in my car. Just, I don't care. It's like you can't even take anything from me. There's something, I get it, but there's something that just bugs my soul. Yeah. I'm worried. I'm worried he's going to beat off in my car. That would piss me off. The suitcase should drive. Text for two kids. Yes, I'll be pissed. Dude, if they come in there, there's not just one of them. They gang up for that. You take me back. That's a homeless group activity. Oh, so I broken the car. You never heard a dirty mic in the boys? No. That's a brother. That's a real- thing that happens yeah really yeah they made a soup kitchen out of this guy's Prius what yeah on the other guys in movie you ever seen it dirty miking boys no I wonder if I left but you don't think of I left like it's like some chapstick and apple sauce and water he's gonna be like oh do you think you don't change your life you don't say don't feed the deer because he's going to show it up yeah I mean I more and more I wouldn't mind that though just we have a ring cam just to see how many it'd be nice to just do it with five yeah wait a second business idea yeah you get your own bait car or just buy a new car and use a CRV as a bait car okay or your car I'm sorry we lost that yeah he doesn't use the accord as a bait car okay yeah and then you just put it in your driveway and you just bait it for all these homeless to come in their dream that'd be a good live stream like if one of them eagle cams up in the woods which is all homeless in Austin bro I ran into one so remember we've talked about you said hey be careful the homeless people they're a little bit brazen yeah I was like it's okay I know how to choke him I know we're naked choke it's real strong so this guy right I'm wondering around the streets last night and this guy comes up to me he's like he keeps yeah this is my dude right and he's like you got a cigarette I was like nah man I don't even smoke and I left all my zen hotel room I'm like I'm cook bro he's like you got a dollar I was like nah bro I was like nah bro it's like everything's cash I'm just mimic him right I was like nah bro I was like I got none of the cash and right and he's like oh he's like fuck I was like I know I don't know what we're gonna do right and he's like all right man good luck brother and I'm like yeah thanks man and I like walk away and he walks away right I'm like averted right yeah I was like walking three minutes later same dude hey buddy I was like buddy I was like it's you again I was like you remember from like six minutes ago and I started tweaking right I was like six minutes ago I was like did you get a cigarette yet and he's like no man fuck and I was like I know dude we're cooked bro what are we gonna do you just assimilate you just join them yeah smart and in Austin I am the dead center between the homeless and the upper the sophisticated crates okay I'm dead fucking square so the man you look at the eye they cross the street if a homeless man looks at me and the eye they ask for money I'm like so I could be either one you read the world yeah so I talked to all the well dressed people in elevators real nice and I act super homeless to the homeless people your coach brother we both like where are we what are we gonna do well I did enjoy the fact so flying out here I put you in first class you're starting this class I think so right I don't know I wouldn't know fucking first class the seat's big yeah and there's just two of you in a row or three it was through there was a spy wife maybe comfort plus I'm gonna call her okay comfort I was happy how many people with you there was two people there was on a way there on a way here there's two people on the way to Baltimore there was one person and it's seen in between us but you were not allowed to set your bag there or he would look at you funny the whole time so you're in the front yeah oh yeah oh yeah I was afraid like if someone down I'm the first motherfucker yeah so you know how you're the first class yeah I'm about to call my wife and say that was first class fucking shit why you treat me like this I had to I'm literally white trash what are you doing that was you got to start brown you got to build up dude no no I wanted I wanted to unleash you in first class dude you said you know well you tried to make a flight buddy oh so many times and they were just shutting you down absolutely not yeah the one lady I don't know if I could say this you know I hope you get HIPAA HIPAA oh you know she oh do you know I was peeping a friend the whole time well she's sitting right there and she had Wi-Fi I'm gonna how the fuck she get Wi-Fi so I was like this I was like oh she was a king of queens I love that shit and I knew what a worry so I didn't even need to and she kept looking at this fucking seating chart for a stadium for a softball game right and it was in Massachusetts and I knew he was going to Austin and I was just like I got to figure out something to start a conversation with it right and I didn't want to say oh you just wanted the bathroom she take a dump like what was that was that cool and so she came back and I was like oh you go into a game and she's like no and she like hit her phone and put it in her pocket and I was like okay I'm just oh fuck off and look at my window because I got the window seat and another outburst like that I'm gonna close the fucking shade so as you go one more of those ladies maybe if you show me your phone people you try to make a conversation not a phone peeping yeah that might not be a good idea I don't I don't I don't I phone people do I phone people you kill that people know your phone people letting you know I saw a guy in like an airline uniform one time on his phone I'm like sitting next and I'm like looking down and it was full like did you fuck this part and he was like and then it was like him texting that person then they were going back and forth and I was like scandalous very scandalous dude I was getting rocked up I'm not phone peeping I just have a massive erection for other reasons I was just clocking his affair I'm like fuck you this fucking pilots having a fair let's of course he is why I will see you a pilot don't marry a pilot okay if you're out there and you're married to a pilot for other company what are you gonna do what well like he's about to go fly to plane no he was he was like I was like civilian flying so you don't look just like flight attendants of pilot sometimes just hop on the plane dude that'd be how he was doing that I was the next to him and I was just clocking his phone because it was a lot of older people too have that giant font yeah I could read it from 40 yards away so does Instagram really other day was just a lady at the spurs game like there's so many mexicans here I didn't know they could afford it it was just uh oh no wait do you know why they can afford it because they work hard and they're they're a very industrious people you should do your own text at the gas crack was was that the game where they won the like last second shot I don't know what game we're just like a randomist or anything you couldn't even see the players it just was the people zooming in on a lady so it's also a funny way to just like Photoshop people's phones and just write the most like that's fucked up why would she text that it's crazy that's a hard move imagine setting your makeup then forgetting it's even theirs meet new grippy setting mist from mavely new york gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all day comfy grip no tightness no stickiness no residue just plump dewey hydrated skin that still feels like your skin try new grippy setting mist from mavely new york maybe it's maveling hey everybody uh real quick I will be in phoenix this weekend this very weekend I'll be at phoenix the celebrity theater I'll be in phoenix at the celebrity theater and then Tucson Arizona on Saturday guys I'm sorry I'm just so sleepy I woke up before 30 this morning unintentionally jokled out woke up at 4.30 and um just got after guys I'm exhausted I'm bushed I'm absolutely bushed right now but I won't be bush when I'm in phoenix and then Tucson this weekend so come on out guys there's a um there's a link to my website matmakusker.com in the show description or something in some box beneath this video please come or don't if you don't want to come to come somebody do I'll be shredded by summer I'm actually on track to genuinely be shredded by summer so that's you know you can't have it all but I will be shredded either way guys have a good night please go mate dude I've uh so apparently there's people out there now like you know when you see those like Instagram videos of like I can make 10 grand online you know I'm sure I'll show you how to do it I this one guy I was watching his video and he said he just like has chat GBT he's like writing very sad fucked up story and then he gets this to like looks through he goes yeah that's pretty fucked up then he goes sore and make a video about this and then he just has AI just write these like clickbait weird or like write the story that has a thing AI do the video and he just spams them online he's rich one of them's gonna hit and go viral and you make like 10 grand a month off which is one and he's like I work for like 20 minutes yeah that's such a weird yeah like those guys you like bet against the stock market you don't do anything really and it's so easy though like as soon as you say it it's like oh I it's yeah click them all time yeah yeah yeah you would have to go to the gym regularly because you would never get tired from doing that no you would sleep terribly you would actually yeah when you're just sitting at home all day just just making AI fuck itself that's wish just watching AI beat off over itself and like you sad stories we can clickbait people there is something sad about that too I was watching I'm like man that's kind of empty yeah it won't work if he made make great stories make happy stories like and then put those in videos it'll get no tracks I know it doesn't get it's gotta be fucked up and say it's like a sad thing like I didn't her child died and she got ran over by a train and people like oh it's just a nurse being like oh my god oh that's terrible I'm feeling my own emotions what was the guy because you see like was the guy Indian guy I took a white guy as a young young white hot shot yeah I just any guy they're talking up on the other work in the phones bro they are you think they're AI heavy I just that's what I there there's a thing I've been noticing all I you know I told you before to my my algorithm is all thoughts but I've been noticing from Slion and then AI thoughts and every now and again the captions like it's like they forgot to hit the translate or whatever and it's just Indian shit but it's like it's just ladies it's just super real looking ladies that you gotta like squint and like notice weird movements or notice that they're all doing the exact same thing but they're like quiet and they have like they're verified accounts with only fans linked to them they're like doing AI that's what you said the engines are up to now yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so I'm also pulled over to I don't know I'm I'm sorry eradicated that we're in the 1800s but we - We can bring it back. - Love you. I don't know Indians from India. I don't, okay. We'll see how that, yeah. I shouldn't, I'm sorry dude, I'm very expressive. I literally have no filter and I try, I shouldn't, no, that's fine. We call them Indians. I should call Indians. I should call them Indians from India, Indians just makes sense. I don't even know. Yeah, dude, that's like, that's like second generation. That's like, and that's like racial inception. (laughing) Yeah, like, just go over to India and be like, you're Native American? And we'd be like, oh shit, fire back, dude, clap back. What is fun? Isn't that a whole thing from Christopher Columbus thinking he was like getting to India? Yes. He's fucking guys. Yes, that's how fucking stubborn white people are, dude. It's fucking crazy to me, too, 'cause they call it, they're called Indians. It didn't, I shouldn't have stuck, that's crazy. That'd be like, you point up to a red light. I mean, like, that's a purple light. And everyone'd be like, no, that's absolutely red light. And you're like, well, we'll just kill everyone. For enough people, call it a purple light. How about, that's a purple light. Is it now? It seems pretty purple to me, huh? Let's keep that rolling. We'll name baseball teams after it and everything. Fuck yeah. Well, even Native Americans, guys, they're like, no, we're like at Iroquois, we're at a gonquin or whatever. So it's just funny, like, nah, we came out with your name. That's what you guys are. You're sneaking with it. Pretty rough, pretty, yeah. Dude, I wish we'd seen-- It is boss on some level, but it's not good. (laughing) It's definitely boss. Kind of boss would be like, nah, look, like, this is your guy's identity. We figured it out for you. We're not gonna learn the rest. I wish if there was anything we could have culturally appropriated from the Native Americans that have been the naming system, we brought that over from Europe. Bro, come on. - True. - I want to be running dogs. - I'm with you on that. - Bro, would you be great? Nighthawk. Nighthawk, senior. - That's what I'm back here. (laughing) - That's my grandpa, crazy squirrel. You'd love 'em. (laughing) - Their naming system was-- I'll give you that. - That's too weird. - It was sick. I'm for, you know, nobody's with me on this one, but I'm all about a Native American president. - Yeah. - We've never had a Native American president. - I feel like he would turn on the whites. You guys would be-- - What happened? - What are you talking about? - After what you all did to them? You think they'd art quietly holding a grudge? - Let's open up this page. - I didn't do anything. - I know now, but historically, - True. - They got the little grudge in the back there. Just on those, I was driving around pedics before. It was like just the parts where they put it. - You know people look like shit out of there. - It is not good. - You hit green, and then it just turns back into the desert as soon as you hit the recipe. - And they're like, that's what you get. They got some bomb lands for sure. - Yeah, dude. I was in the wind river, just like he said, bro. Wind river mountains in somewhere. Wyoming, Montana. I don't know. I was driving, didn't pay attention. And you came up, and like he said, bro, it was green mountains, beautiful white people land, and then it was just bare and desert. And like, welcome to the Indian Reservation. And right, I'm from this little town in Pennsylvania. Well, I felt like a near Pittsburgh. And I was on this Indian Reservation, right? Nothing around. It could be three hours and 10 minutes of drive there through nothing. And I go in this little estate, little convenience store, not even gas station. Everything's dusty, bro. I pull off this thing as Delalo. Fucking, and I was like, that's from my hometown. I was like, here's no way. I didn't know that was a national thing. And I was like, no, it made in Genette, Pennsylvania. I was like, oh, what truck came out here, bro? - What is Delalo? - It's Delalo, it's like a little Italian market in a fucking suburb of Pennsylvania. Like I don't even know, it's not Pittsburgh. I don't think there's anything I could say that it made it all the way out to the res, brother. Brother, and Wyoming. I'm like, how, how'd you get out here, little guy? I just want to take it back home. I'll take it back and lost your way, dude. - Come back. - Yeah, nobody talks about the Native Americans ever. It's like, they get like the littlest bit of lip service at like liberal colleges every now and again. - There's nothing good we can say. - That's also kind of like a weird thing. But just we're gonna acknowledge the fact of this land. Anyway, here's what we're building here. - It's gonna be awesome. You guys get casino's, let's get it. - Yeah, I'm dude, the Native American president could be sick. - Yeah. - Could be. - Dude, fucking the peace pipe in the Oval Office. - I mean, that would honestly be the best thing. - Yeah, awesome. - It seems to be down with ZZ and Pig smoking a peace pipe. - Dude, it would be so fucking, especially, I would like to, and I don't want to get political here, but I would like to get away from having like 87 year olds as the president. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - We're gonna have like a guy's cognitive decline. - We need JFK too. - Yeah, JFK. - A guy who's gotten not much time left while here just making all our decisions. - No, dude, we need, yeah, we need, I would say 50 is like the perfect age. - Could I have one more kind of argument? - Sure. - I guess Native American stuff. - They have historically taken so many Ls. - I don't know, they don't know if you put them in show. We just went through a series. - Come on. - I've been taken L. - Come on. - L, bro. - She's thinking about his country. Okay, are you ready for this? So let's look at the other side of the coin. Okay, so if you've taken every L possible, you've learned every fucking way to not do that shit again. - True, true. - That's how I got to ride him today. - True, true, true, true, true. - I learned every lesson the hard motherfucking way. - True, you're making a good point. - What's the hardest lesson you ever learned? - Oh my god, dude. Look, both ways before you cross that motherfucking road. - Cause, yeah, you gotta hit by a car. - Cause in. What kind of car? - Dodge Shadow 93 ES trim. (laughing) - Oh, how fast was it ago? I mean, 45 miles an hour. - No, no. - In a 25 cousin. - Oh! - I was 315 pounds at 13 years old. While my dad stolen Trek Mountain Bike. I sold it from him. He didn't steal it. - Yeah. - It was right for the his. I had no fucking right taking it. So let me bust this story down. - Yeah, yeah. - You got time. Let me bust this story down. Okay, so your boy was at home skipping school. We're not supposed to be doing it. And his dad's bike was in the basement. The nicest possession in the Heiter household. Not ever supposed to be touched by me who broke every fucking thing he ever touched ever. I was in nightmare. They called me bits and pieces. I don't even think my mom knew my name. She just called me bits and pieces. Cause that's all the fuck I left when I. (laughing) And so, okay. So I went down the basement. I stole my dad's bike. It had a digital spedometer. It's a porn for later in the story. - For a shadowing. So I take it, I dip off. I'm gonna go to my boy Brandon's house. I'm a flex on the neighborhood. - Pimp, pimp, pimp hooray. So I go down and it's all downhill. So at 315 pounds on a bike downhill. - It's a easy game, dude. - Easy game. - I coulda, I didn't touch the sidewalk cut. So I get down there and I'm like, yeah, look at this bike. It's tight, right? He's like, yeah, good point. Let's go on a bike ride. Our boy CJ just got hit by a car on his bicycle. We should go visit him. He's in danger. Okay, and I was like, that does seem nice. But that's all downhill. And then I'm gonna have to pedal all up here to get home. And it's like, really? All right, pedal down here to get here. All right, fuck it, right? Let's do it. Let's take him on for the team. Someone down, visited CJ, right? His mom is in the alley telling the story. Hi bro, we're in John's town. She get up, we're hype. She hit my baby, say she only doing 25 mile nine. I know she wouldn't do no 25 mile nine. She came down and said, bam, she's like, look at my baby, dude, CJ. 68 pounds soaking wet with a pocket full of chains. Come out, call her bone, but bro, he looked like fucking tiny tin. - Fuck the fuck up. - He was ruined, dude. - Ruined. - So I was like, damn, all right, that ain't good. So I was like, flex. I got the spedometer on my bike right now. I'm gonna come down past 25 mile an hour, right? It's like-- - Oh, you're like check it out. - Exhibit it. Exhibit it. (laughing) Exhibit it. - You're like, let's get this back straight. - Yeah, the court, you can be against this. - This boy was on a mountain bike and he caught her. - Fact checker. - Someone come down to 25 and you gauge, right? Would you drive, calculate it, I? If that was, this is worth my life, okay? So I go up the hill, right? No flashlights, right? And I remember the calves. - I got these calves, right? - You got crazy calves or nuts. - So calves are-- - So even bodybuilder can. - Thank you, I appreciate it. So, even at like 13 years old, I had about 450 pound feet of torque, okay? So I put that bike in 37th gear straight on it. (growling) We're in our drug and started, bro. On his downhill, right? And I'm looking at 21, 22. Next thing you know, nothing, bro. Oh, I hear his glass shatter. Entire screech in that order. And that's important 'cause she didn't hit the brakes until after this pack was done. 'Cause she wasn't on her phone, we didn't even have phones back then. But anyway, so she hit, right? Okay, and let me tell it right here. So I actually, what happened was the bike, it was an inferred stop sign. She was doing 45. I was doing 22. And you could probably hit 23 by that. (laughter) I was locked into the speedometer. I didn't even look ahead of me. 100%. So she came and it could have been this, which me on the bike, it could have been this, where she hit me, but it actually happened like this, where I just clipped her fender as she was going. And it sent me over her hood and then her windshield and roof caught my $315 supple child body. Okay, bent the whole safety cage back and at which point she said, oh, fucking shit, right? 'Cause my ass is in her mouth probably. (laughter) Yeah, so she slams the brakes. Okay, and I go ye, ye, right? 28 feet through the air, another 45 on my left ass cheek. And the only reason I know is 'cause it's mostly missing. That could be afterthought if you wanna look at that. So a fly, right? And I'm so stubborn, I didn't even know what the fuck happened. So I go, just sit up and like, what the fuck? And I look over, she's off. Brother, that had happened. Hold on, one second. Sure, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. That had happened, cart, before a horse, okay? So I sit up, I'm like, oh, shit, dog damn, right? And I see a core antenna, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, down the road, but I'm keeping up with the motherfucker. Right, and I'm like, oh, that's wild and crazy, okay? I'm moving, and then I feel the inertia like you stop at a stoplight, and I'm like, I'm sitting in the middle of the fucking street. This is dangerous. So I go to get up, right? And I go, fetish it, fetish it. So I go to roll and get up in my little three stage motion. that you do right when you ain't got the upper body strength and and I go to step off the road and it felt like I stepped in a paho and I'm like John's town city works dammit and I look down and it just looks like my shoes off but it's it's still attached to my foot and my calf is just on the ground and my brain says shut it down and start it back up something's wrong so I bam straight back down right and so when I went down I hit my head and all that so I'm out in the whole neighborhood's holding me down they're like oh my god right and they're freaking out bro and I come to and I'm like Brandon because that's about my boy I came with that's the first thing I brand and Brandon and my 14 year old friend he came and look at me bro he's like he's dying I can't look at my homie like that cousin right because what I didn't know is there is a pool blood puddling around my waist so well that's I knew that now but at the time they just thought my inner organs busted like a water balloon and was leaking out of the closest hole I could find which is having to be my asshole yeah so everyone's like man dead man walking you know what I mean they're like bro don't move don't move so long story short they sent me to the hospital they they well they said we're gonna have to catheterize you and I was like listen I'm Christian my grandma would not like that we can't be doing that I don't know what medically if that will help but I just don't they don't like no we're gonna stick a tube in your dick I was like can I be Catholic is that still on the table I will be Catholic if that's still on the table and they're like no we just got a bam so bro yeah pulling it out was the crazy part yeah I like like she was starting to god damn long over dude bro she's like hold up hold up hold up okay hold hit the choke hold up bang boy I was like damn dude give me nothing for the bedsheet up my ass bro it had so much fucking momentum bro it was insane how long was the recovery oh wait too long so I was 14 it just this happened 10 days before summer vacation and Brian Gunlinson if you're still out there I appreciate you I'm sorry I fucked up all your work that was my leg specialist so he rebuilt it tibia fibia clean through because my leg wrapped around her a pillar like a snap bracelet so it had dusted everything that was connecting so they pinned and played it it all back together he did a wonderful job but I was a 315 pound fucking 14 year old it was not taken no on summer vacation and I started walking on that and if you look to this day bro I have the arthritis of a 90 year old man you'll see me bro get if we ever go somewhere in a car for six hours watch how I get out make fun of me we can't live stream it brother brother I make all the noises old people noise yeah that's fair in my favorite hobby is driving cars that are slammed to the ground and I'm like this is yeah I believe it's like that fucking Leonardo getting out of that on woof a wall street I just lay down and fucking crawl out yeah it's sick car now no big deal do you like I'm slammed to the ground well it's the only ones that are cool turn like trucks yeah even that'd probably be a whole other issue I have to get a fucking ladder do you so you worry you're gonna I'm not to you know take away from almost dying we worry about scraping the undercarriage your slam load of the ground uh yeah the me audit literally my me audit has state are you talking about my asshole because I've done that no I'm talking about the car okay I've hit road debris that I felt my ass oh 100% fuck 100% like you because it's you're right brother cousin you're right there you hit like a bushing that fell off a fucking old truck and that floor panel but you don't touch you yeah but yeah it's like it's like if you put a fucking trash can a little on your ass and I hit it with hammer sure oh that's close one what's up what's up what's up so me audit has stainless steel frame rails okay because I plan for that so it literally has 302 stainless steel I could 5050 grind my me audit down a fuck six set of stairs fucking yeah dude as long as I don't blow out the little panor true golden but if I right have me on fucking day it's literally a skateboard so you're healed up and if the fix your legs after you were like thrashing around yeah well okay well what do you mean like yeah they they pin play it all together and then after I fucked it all up right I went back as an adult and I'm like I'm sorry guys right I'm immature I'm new I've grown right and they're like yeah you got we can do something like we'll break your fucking leg right and we'll remove your ankle completely because you can't have arthritis and something you don't have that's cool trick we learned and we'll just fucking mount your foot straight to your fucking leg like cotton heel from king of the hill you know blow out your ankle and then yeah and then you could just stab the clutch from your fucking hip like how am I gonna so I was you don't have like ankle flexion no there would be nothing I I've never got it done because I were like that's the option I was like I'll just yeah yeah I'll stay damn you would have like a GI Joe foot just straight that's yeah I was like do I at least get the pic the angle I was like what if I want to wear high heels true yeah one six inch pump in a prosthetic like orthopedic fucking shoot it is wet and got the full fucking height surgery where they like break your legs and lengthen them you could have got you can lie in there type shit yeah 636 that's called scope creep scope creep yeah that's when you go in so let's say you go in right because you just want to break your leg so you can fix it and they're like well why you're in there once you give me extra leg surgery and they're like well we got this new hydraulic leg surgery to make you jump really high well already be in there and like well while you're in there so now what started out as a $3,000 fixer up or now you're a 55 grand in aftermarket supplies of scope creep true while you're in there get in the dirt people contracted so what's the you know what's the what's the plan going forward dude what are you what are you up to in life yeah that's a great question right true just wing it yeah so I've been doing so far I honestly didn't think I'd make it this far I'm one of those people just look back like damn yeah holy shit huh cuz I look back at like all like a lot of the kids I grew up with and stuff right and I like even growing up like because I like you know there wasn't much structure there yeah so I was just like man I'm part of PA like where's there PA town like where did you grow it was cool Johnstown Johnstown okay Johnstown Pennsylvania it's up was that was that close is me and Nate drove and we were all we drove from Ohio to Pittsburgh and we were all pumped to see youngstown where bones bone thugs was from that's close right maybe now I think that's close to Pittsburgh now um it's close to pitch it definitely is we were like all pumped we kept seeing youngstown we're like we were listening to bone thugs the whole time fucking being dorks yeah two hours of bone thugs and I thought it was like it's gotta be coming up we're in Ohio it's gotta be right here it's like on the edge literally I think it's the last town before you hit pitch Johnstown Ohio no no youngstown youngstown yeah it's our bone thugs okay okay I don't know if you knew it at all well I know of youngstown yeah okay we don't go there oh it's just another hood yeah yeah I'm like I'm already from the hood I don't gonna go to bed now I can talk to you and even bone thugs is from yeah me I get bum bum bum bum bum I'm your crosser I think about my uncle child yeah I try every time but yeah you don't need to go no I don't when he taught me remember in the crossroads we when he touched that man's head in his eyes turned black yeah sure oh dude don't get me started oh man that's why they want to that's a yeah yeah it's me on now I'm here so what's the plan what's the plan for I'm just gonna keep working bro I'm gonna keep doing it if anybody wants to make me famous I'll get famous there you are if you I mean you know I'm it you know keep growing out the content I mean I can we we want pull up one of the I just want the videos are yeah videos are fucking yeah we want to be me happy let's keep the one you just showed me with the glove or you I don't know oh yeah no I never posted that because that's one of those things I never posted cuz I was like bro I'm thinking about I don't know if it should go on the screen he found my nuggets here it is this is this one changed my life we got you know all day that was probably the most expensive one I'll hear about in the comments I mean got devil eight trays for devil eight days oh yeah oh yeah that'd be easter 27 minute video yeah this thing gets deep it's a lot devil eight that's crazy primarily egg diet so what in terms of like encountering people living in the house I hate that yeah I like finding them dead better yeah I would I would have more predict sort of God I would say yeah it's scary dude one time so at one time long long time ago I came into this house right and just like typical shit I break in I usually don't even think someone's in there cuz it's so uncommon and I go in and the house is warm and I'm like ooh that's creepy yeah and then I like walk in I get hit in the neck with some drip and I'm like oh the drip is warm I hate this and then I get in the living room and dude oh oh very important part see this one is not even significant to me the whole house is a canyon of horde the only thing to walk through is a canyon and it is I fucking level trash yeah and then you start getting down and it starts getting wetter and wetter and wetter until it turns into dirt yeah because it's been there so long that you know it's the center it's just the paper and everything turns back into dirt so I'm like walking through this I'm like this is crazy and like I said it's fucking eye level dude and I get into the living room and the lights are on it's warm it's weird but again you don't assume somebody's fucking in here dude like it's so easy for me to like disassociate that somebody lives like that but so this fucking Chihuahuao fucking Yorky mix bro starts just like Simba in the Lion King like Prounson and he's fucking Canyon towards me barking and I'm like this is about fuckers eye level like the playing field has been leveled here this is not good for me okay like usually it's not scary because we're on the ground but this motherfucker is heightened and he has toxic damage too I'm scared so he's coming at me and I hear avoid I forget the dog name but she's like get away from him or something I'm like oh no I'm like I'm with the bang I don't know and she's like get Martha sent you I was like I don't know Martha I'm not and it was dude it was this lady that was a big girl. You ever see what you can go but great? Yeah, you ever see his mom? Yeah, okay. She's a big girl. A little trash, bro. That's she can't leave. No, you eat your way and you can't leave because I want you to get bigger than the door 36 inches. So keep a tape measure on deck if you're getting there. Because I'm just saying there's going to be a time that you leave your house for the last time. Yeah, she was entombed. Unless you go out to eat, then you won't be able to get back in, which is probably a better problem to have. Oh, fuck. So she was she was just part of the house. Yeah, they call it landlocked. Yeah, why can't the why can't the bank just respect that? Yeah, that's you guys $385,000. Yeah, but I am become one with this house. Yeah, they don't shut that shit down. Throw you in the street and give the the subsidiary to someone who deserves it. I mean, they don't deserve it. I mean, it's not no. I'm sorry. It's not me to say anything about that, but it's hard for me to imagine letting shit go that far, right? Yeah, just I've let my life go pretty far. And I'm like, I know what it takes to hit a rock bottom. Like I couldn't imagine hitting that rock bottom being like this ain't that bad. I know. Let's keep it rolling. Dude, it's amazing. You ever find out with felling with drippling a net? Suits. Suits. Okay, just straight from up. Okay. Yeah, we do. Yeah. My, my, uh, they're hot shit. You know, hot shit. Marvel got me at that one time. We're all like working together. And I had early a year before a prank called my uncle funny enough as the bank because he had just bought this house. And he's all, he's all pumped up. And I called him being like, Hey, this is TD bank. There's a second mortgage on your home. And I had the address. And I was like clacking the keyboard. The whole. Sold it, sold it. Sold it. Dude, he, I was like, well, you know, it's like $87,000 second mortgage. You didn't, you didn't surprise you. They didn't come up with that at like title. You should have showed you that. And there he was like just bugging out. Oh, I'm like, it's, I'm like, just come down here. We'll figure it out. I'll probably just put a lien in your house. What's your mother's maiden name? He's like, I'm not telling you a goddamn fast and hung up. He ended up calling my whole family. He's calling my dad. My aunt. And he was just like freaking out. They're all like, what the fuck? That sounds crazy. Like, and then I told my dad what I did. And he was like, that's the funniest thing in the world. So they're all laughing. Eventually, he found out my dad was like, dude, it was my son. He was fucking with you. And my uncle was, he hold, he still holds a grudge this day about. It's been obviously maybe 12 years. What's that noise? No, no, that's my cousin. Cause I don't know if horse, but horse would have went to the, actually, he actually my uncle did go to the bank and started arguing with him in person. Why would you let that cook? I would have broke that for the end of the call. Me and my cousin in high school, and we're like, just fucking around calling people. I'm like, Oh, this would be funny. It was like, not even premeditated. And it was just a flawless bank. It just fucked them up. And we were, they were knocking down a exiled demolition. They were knocking down an old grocery store. And I was just standing there talking to everyone. And we, like, saw each other. And he just grabbed one of the pipes and bent it towards me and all that nasty water right now. I was like, fair, fair. I was like, I'll take it fair enough. That stuff is nasty. It's a beast boo. It's kind of nice. She's like, it was like one of those like fat copper pipes, like, down, like those sewage guys are a whole another breed bro. No, I got to call one of my house. Cause like, that's not me. Yeah. And it was like backing up to my basement. Okay. And like, my house sits up high. So it had this whole slope. Okay. Then down to the street. So we're talking 75 feet of three inch pipe filled with doo doo and booku berries. Okay. The whole nine, bro. The whole nine. And he's like trying to find it. And this and that and the third. And he goes out to the street. And there's like a little turn. And he turns it. And he's like, I found it, bro. And he jams this fucking giant snake, bro. This giant. And it hits this thing. And he's, he's standing right over it, like looking down into it. Like, that's, I know better than that. You shank do that, right? And he busts that thing loose. And what it happened to be was bacon grease. Cause you know, I'm used to renting. I'm sure not. So, so bacon grease and literally a five gallon bucket of undigested peanuts. Cause I was going through a crunchy peanut butter face at that point. That's cute. That's cute a lot. Dude, bro, I cannot just, I literally had to like get the scrolls out of my yard for months. Cause they were. So this thing breaks loose. This fucking hard ball of break bacon grease. And then like a fire hydrant of peanuts. And he's sitting there loving it, dude. He's like excited. Like he was waiting for old faithful to go off. And he's like, I'm like, you're standing in it, bro. This ain't fucking splash mountain. Fuck out of there. Cause yeah, that is. That is. Hepatitis. The pump plumbing, something I could never just turds all day, all day for fun. But anytime you meet a plumber, they feel like they're built for it. Yeah, they're that guy. True. I used to be in the car industry. Well, okay, I used to be in the customer service industry hard. Yeah. Right. Cause I was a big boy. So my mom was always like, you're never be getting a job working on your feet. Yeah. Not going to happen. Yeah. Let's cut that shit short. You want to SSI check or you want a desk job. I was like, okay, desk job. Good point. So I go, right? Real, real, real good mom there. But time. So I go, I get desk job after desk job. And I'm good at it, right? Sometimes I'm personable. Right? Unlikable. Cause we move schools all the time. That's how I got you. They're good friends. You stay alone. So let's keep it rolling. So I got good at making friends. So customer service, right? And I desk job, desk job, desk job. But every six months, I'm like, man, what do you think dines like it has to be better than this? Right? Yeah. So I'm like, man, that's something to think about. We'll put that on the back. Okay. It's truly right. So I'm just going to keep doing my desk job and trying to figure out why I'm so sad. Yeah. Right? And then the ultimate happened, right? My, the pandemic happened in this order, bro. Pandemic happened. I almost died in traffic on the way home from getting fired for my job. And then as I got home, I got a whole new lease on life made dinner for my wife. And she got home and divorced me. Oh, and then the next day I wake up and I'm like, okay, I don't have a job. I have a whole new lease on life and I'm out of wife. What does your boy do? Right? And I was like, hmm, let's collect this pandemic money. Right? Yeah. I'm schizophrenic. I'm not going to live. I never know who's showing up or dead. I'm a new lease on life with the firing to new lease on life. Nice sudden divorce. That's like, whoa, it within 12 hours. Dude. And then pandemic. Yeah. So I literally got rebirthed. I was, I woke up the next morning with placenta on me. I was like, this is, I've never had such a tangible moment. Okay. Yeah. Let's cook dog. And then you just, and then we duck for like a couple of years there. Well, what was the question? So you, and you rode that right into the pandemic? Well, that was the pandemic. I got fired because of the pandemic. Oh, dude, he like big, big, big, big, big. Like all like it was all rabbit fire, bro. So, um, well, actually I got laid off. I was going home from a layoff. I got to be specified because if everyone's listening, I can't get fired that day. They made me off. And then the guy who laid me off got fired and they never brought me back. Yeah. So call that with the fuck you want to call it. But I got a technicality. Okay. If anyone wants to out there, just cut an entire branch off the plant. They're just like, yeah. And I was dangling on a security rope attached. Okay. Bye. So then I rode out that pandemic money, right? Cause your boy, Donnie was flapping me with them $600. Stimmies. Yeah. And I was getting unemployment and I was getting, you know, quarry hiders from the street monies. So your boy was, I was like, I'm making more money. You're killing it. I'm employing divorce. Yeah. This is fucking okay. Who knew? I know an upstroke when I see one. So I rode that out. And then I got bored, right? Cause I was like, okay, well, this is not having a job. It's crazier than a desk job. It's weird. It is, especially if you used to have a job when you stop having a job. It's a fucking weird feeling. I craved structured activity. Yeah. Hard. I'm like waking up with nothing to do. It's going to get fucked up. When you're cranking your hog by 930 and you're like, just only down here for me. Yeah. That's what you start doing. The darker corners of Craig. You want to do human trafficking? Look at my shit. Yeah. I don't know. Dark wave. I heard it's fun this time of year. So my boy calls me, right? And all those video, well, the videos I post right in a shit that you know, I know what he does. And he's like, why don't you come work with me? And I was like, no. I was like, that's when you, you say your boredom. I was like, wash the dishes. Like, that's not fun. Yeah. That's not what I meant. And he's like, just come on, dude, I need help. So I just started helping him. And then I fell in love with it. And then you become normalized that shit. And then I was like, damn it. I'm an outside cat this whole time. I was an indoor cat. That's crazy. You didn't have any like instruction experience before that. No, what? No. I would fuck around on my own. Yeah. A board building cars and fucking. Oh, yeah. Oh, and dude, when I was a kid, I could be able to bang out anything by 12 years old. I ripped apart literally the entire radio chat catalog and rebuild it at one point. Well, that's just what I did as a kid. Cause I figured out, bro, at five years old, this blows my mind. I think this is a peak of my whole peak in this. It's five years old, bro. I figured out how an internal combustion engine worked. Cause I couldn't figure out how the tire spin. I was like, if the tire spins, it's something to spin to spin that. And then something's got to spin to spin that. But eventually it's got to be a reciprocating motion. So how do you turn a reciprocating motion into a spinning motion? And then I had this toy steam train that had the wheel with the. And I looked at turn the reciprocating into, I was like, I bet that's it. And that's living how an engine works. Now if I was Japanese, I would have figured out the wankle rotary engine right there on a stop. But I didn't. I didn't. I did it. So, you know, there's always the first time I had that because I remember being like a little boy. And I was like, I had the weedwacker. I like took it apart to do something. And I was like, I'm going to take it apart. This is my seminal moment of becoming like a mechanical minded man. I took the weedwacker apart. And it just was like, fuck. It's called my dad. I was like, uh, dad, the weedwacker's kind of messed up. The fuck's going on with it. I was just trying to add the string and it got all fucked up and he's like, "What the fuck?" - Just in multiple pieces. - Yeah, I never try to really fix anything ever since. - It was always mechanical and then people were like, "You're likable." I was like, "Oh, Cal lean into that because I never ever had confidence." And I literally never had confidence in anything I've ever done. And if, you know, like this whole Instagram thing, it started as a Snapchat. So I used to send my friends, and I was like, "Post that shit, dude, you're killing it." Like, this is funny, I'm the only one that sees it, you know what I mean? It's crazy. And then, if you ever look my Instagram handle is Hyder Corey. Like, I had to look myself up in the phone book. Like, I didn't know my fucking name. And that's because the Instagram was an accident, bro. I was working at a gas station with my fat sweaty leg and it pocketed out 'cause I was like on Facebook and I put it in there and it opened to Instagram. Started an Instagram automatically from Facebook. Like, I clicked things with my leg and I pulled out my pocket and Hyder Corey Instagram was like, "What the fuck is that?" And I just canceled it and looked out and I never opened it again for five, six years. And then boy, he was like, "Yeah, start posting that shit." And I opened Instagram Hyder Corey and I was like, "Let's do it." I've thought about changing my name so many times, but I was like, "I just imagine waking up with zero followers." And I was like, "Well, was it worth it? Or should I just been Hyder Corey?" It's not a lot. I'm not wrong, but all right. Well, dude, man, can't thank you enough, dude. Yeah, we did it. We did it. I knew it would be fucking rad. We guys want to do that too, man. Let's go chill, yeah. Let's go chill. Let's go walk the streets. We're gonna fuck this place up. (laughing) Dude, thank you, man. Yeah, let's just go on Hyder. What is it, Hyder Corey? Hyder Corey, Blue Collar Corey, Corey Mega Hyder. Corey Mega Hyder. That's on Facebook. That's my own personal Facebook because Instagram was like, "You know, start a Facebook." And I was like, "I have a Facebook." So I grew my own personal Facebook with like, all the pictures I didn't want to have in social media and all that. And I was like, "Fuck it, we'll just grow it." And I grew it to 80,000 and they're like, "Oh, we meant a page, not a profile." I was like, "You piece of shit, fuck." So that's why, yeah, dude, that's why I grew that page, Blue Collar Corey. Bro, I killed it there, two months. At first month, I had 130 million views. That's crazy. It's awesome. For just being a fucking dick wad from the hood, that's insane, that is awesome. Literally, no, you gotta monitor. You gotta sell your t-shirt or something. I know, we're working on it. I think there's a lot of avenues. I think, honestly, me and my boys are, I think Philip, your boy from Roughhouse, are gonna get on. Yeah, I think we're gonna get on. I gotta do it. I'm just a, it's really, I don't mean to get down on it, but it's really hard for me to place a bet on myself. Like legit, it's just so instilled in my DNA. Like your last place just make do with it. It's crazy. And I don't know if the amount of therapy or something can change that. And if it does, what if I'm not funny anymore? 'Cause you know how trauma takes it, right? I'm sure you've experienced trauma. I know you've had a fucking trauma. (laughing) No, I think you just, I was rocking. I would just keep rocking it, just let it rip. Yeah, let it rip. Don't second guess yourself. I know what you mean. It feels weird and it's like, it's just rocking out. It feels cocky. I've never been cocky to pick a bet on myself. And this thing is too is like, well, the fuck it, you know, you know how to do it if it doesn't work out? You're like, there's no back to, back to square one. Risk free. Yeah, that's why I just like, never quit work it. Or like, you know, or never like leaned into it. Or went to, like I do stand up every once in a while, but the stand up scene in Facebook is crazy. Yeah. Dude, I would like, I'd be like, I think, this is like an AA meeting. I think an AA meeting is funnier than this. Yeah, they're open like comedy is pretty sad as it gets. That's one of the underworlds. We mentioned desk sitting desk jobs. That's an underworld. Open mics are an absolute underworld as well. It was crazy. I was talking to this one guy, I was like, I was like, so like, we were talking. He's like, oh, I'm not even funny. And I was like, you're not funny. And I was like, you're gonna do a stand up. And he's like, yeah, I just, you know, I think some of these people, bro, they have a horrible social anxiety. And it's like cutting themselves, like self-harm. I mean, that's their, I'm gonna go up on stage and just fucking bombs. Oh, dude, and everyone's gonna hate me. It's gonna be that social anxiety that I fear in my head. But I'm gonna live it real. And then the end is gonna be over. It's gonna be the coming probably. Just like, there's people that hurt themselves. Yeah. Or people that do weird things. It's just like, fucking. It's, yeah, it's fucked up. Holy me, I'm gonna come. (laughing) I mean, that'd be kind of sick of that work. That'd be awesome. Yeah, I mean, there was kind of shit going on. I wish I came here for a bomb. Yeah. Well, new, new set. (laughing) Well, dude, thank you so much, man. Certainly. Hell yeah. Thank you. I appreciate it. Of course, man. I'm a rocked. I feel like this is a monumental moment. Dude. This is gonna be on my tombstone. (laughing) I'm so excited. Dude, thank you, man. Yes, sir. I'm gonna go pee. Thank you. I never know what we're done. Are we done? Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Spotify. Do it. Meet new, grippy setting mist from Mavily New York. Try new, grippy setting mist from Mavily New York. Maybe it's Maybelline.