Ep 604 - Tyler Gerben (feat. Steve Gerben, Dan Soder, Billy & Spud)

Wow, wow, Wes. Hey guys, we're here. We're live from the fucking the manosphere We do have the chessboard out to show everybody. This is the premiums that we think about. This is what we do, dude Yeah, get him in. You gotta get him in the telegram me and Spud come down here and sit silently and play chess for hours I think we have multiple and then we have three homes In space split with all these girls with Spud tattooed on them Yeah, they're fucking main people have to be like 13-year-olds because if you like it actually sell multiple chicks or a dude like 13-year-old boys Like, yeah, I want three girlfriends. Yeah, that would be sick. It's like dude. That's fucking me trying to sell that to regular dudes Like for like adult men that like I can't get one girlfriend. Yeah, fucker these guys talking about that's what being speech We're talking about that the other day that dudes are like don't chase them dude Yeah, if you don't chase don't come days like dude. They won't Yeah, you just go to your job. Go back home Yeah, go to your job. Go back home. You go to be the machinist. I'm never gonna chase policies No one knows you live. Yeah Dude's are invisible they kind of have a point within the guys to get really sucked into it like Louis looks out on those documentaries the dude sitting there He's like grilling them a little bit and then the guys like yeah, well, you know, I had probably my dad I didn't really I have a strong male figure and they're like what have your days like I took his own life And it's like dude, how's he finding these guys? Like Louie just rolls up on him. Yeah, he's the best where we're without you on his like That's one of the best documentaries Scientology scale you better not getting that you Yeah, you better dude who we talking yeah, we wait for you would be a Scientologist Scientologist You were what if you give them all your money? It'll make all your dreams come true What if they were like you will be the next time this is what they do? Okay, I know exactly how he operates I don't come a fuck about this religion. I'm just doing we're good shit I did that listen to Lawrence writes book on yeah, they got unclear. Yeah, I thought that would take it I thought it was great when I read it or listen to it you wouldn't consider joining the church. No, why why would I all your money? They'll bone smash you a jaw. Oh, they'll give you a job. Don't be the Tomcat dude. You'll be the next maverick Wow You're definitely rooster or something. Yeah, so you're the guy Yeah, that's tough and so I just and then I like what's my obligation you give them all your money. Oh all my money all your money No, no, it goes beyond that your obligation is for billions of years. Yeah You're gonna live in our space. Yeah, all right. No the bell will live in our space What you're gonna be in fucking am I 13? Might be the only technology they can save many and all the rest of the galaxy for millions of years. Yeah Could be could be I mean I'm trying to do that speed like a typical answer though You don't want to disparate science on it. It could be maybe they're not the spirit. I don't think that it is you get a disparate science Yeah, I just did it bro Never could be Tom Cruise. Are you familiar? You're familiar with squirrel-busting I don't know what squirrel-busting is. No it's when scientists get on your ass and they start to fuck your day up It's called squirrel-busting. That's what they do to a suppressive people. Oh You guys didn't listen carefully. Let's begin squirrel-buses Yeah, the Scientology Once you get into it though with like at some point that could have been Christianity where everyone's like didn't the guy Fucking made it up. He just wrote a bunch of books and now is it. I'm just sad day. I'm just saying I could be like that Not a thousand years from now. Yeah checkmate. Do not say a thousand years from now someone gonna be like do for real That's not funny to say it. I'll send you dog. I don't respect pawns. It's chess and it's five days I think I talked with this before but when I saw that sex cult documentary. Oh, yeah, excess Maximum, Maximum. Yeah, at the end of that when the women were like outside the jail He's in jail and there's like women outside the jail for Mary. He's ordinary. Yeah, he's kind of tangential to Epstein gone I was like I get killing Jesus because yeah There's a point to where we're like And then they do it like that It's just like Jesus for the day. It's just I mean great it's cooler heads up for bail I thought you're talking about the pillow Riley more women out here. What are you talking about? Why are you talking about killing Jesus? Just say hold on. I was just I'm not trying to be anti-Semitic. Yes, but what you just said was fucked up towards all really too soon Too soon. Wow, and I just say the juice fucking third temple dude like all you shit. Oh, I'm Resting fucking spot on you know, you've got a you got a society and then somebody's doing you know this and it's just like a Women are coming into this cold. Everybody's getting sick either they're outside the jail. He's got all right enough Yeah, you know, no, that is true though. That's exactly actually what happened to Jesus Was the Romans were like all right the Jews are going nuts like I can kill and then like all right, dude I don't get I don't give a fuck what you guys talking about he's like a money far outposts And that's the story they told us yeah, you know true. They're not the truth. Obviously. I don't you know I would never dare to His door the truth by here the historical books about it are very funny about Jesus when you think about like so Jerusalem Fucking Bill O'Reilly. They're killing Jesus. It was Bill O'Reilly. Bill O'Reilly a chat GBT before anyway as far off 20 balls killing Oh, it was it was like Jerusalem was a it was during what what holiday was it was a Jewish holiday? Pass over it. It was a Tom Belly the last summer, so yeah, that's it. My palms, so they yeah, so Jerusalem was just packed like 10 times more than it usually was So it was like 150,000 Jewish people, and there was like 50 peer over eats like 50 Romans in a garrison That's all they had and it was already like there's already a hotbed the sure the Judea they were getting wild over there But they're complaints and they were like you need to kill him And they're like dude if we don't kill this fucking guy, they're gonna storm their fucking garrison interesting Yeah, it was you guys 100% I get it with a lot of things though. There's a lot of money punches. I've seen they're doing passion - I've heard that I'm very likes it, but I get here with so many things. There's the comeback the resurrection. Yeah, dude the fuck knows I got a pack was good. Now I was in barrison. It's made good. I was just talking about Harry Potter I was just walking around talking about a JK wrong. It's how it's I mean, it's not an original people have covered this But how base she is how funny that is she hates us. We're just talking about the the Gringots the bank Everyone doesn't just get on Twitter be like yeah trans people need to shut the fuck She's selling hard times She's crazy. I think she's crazy. No, she's not crazy though. She's based it. She has book a fifty billion dollars She wrote the most popular book of all time. Yeah, she's like yeah, she gets on Twitter. She's like, yeah, shut the fuck up I can't wait. No, it was great. She's got off. I mean probably no one has told her what they're doing a lot of his time She write all this behind movies. She's probably good. I mean, imagine what she said behind closed doors about checks True probably shouldn't have never heard before you were the tweet about trans people. You know what that means. You're saying behind or it's like a shit or it's like wine, dude She could be one. She's getting drunk on wine and hit that tweet Thank God, your parents don't do it. Oh my God. What would your parents be hitting? Oh, hold on Let me tell you I can see it sevens on everyone tuning. I had a good Phil conversation. I called Phil to be like Yeah, you hives about your boy you fucking boy going to war with Iran you fucking I think because I do his I do his take I knew what it was gonna be like he's like. Oh, yeah, Shane. What'd you want to fucking get blown up? And I was like buy you. He's like I ran They can't have a new shame I was like dude. I'm not gonna get blown up. I might get blown up now now there. It's could be a terrorist attack Yeah, he's like yeah, cuz fucking that idiot before Trump let all those fucking terrorists into the country Just every four years You were rich back then we were doing really good. Yeah, that's what my parents are Big my mom's big on Jesse my dad always tries to hit like I don't watch that shit and then like I go He calls me from Florida. He's like What's the Fox news app? I was like it's YouTube TV mouth. You don't need the Fox news app But how do I know what's on I was like it's live TV. It's just on an app dude think how good it must feel What's that shit? I said I canceled the Fox one. Oh, they kill you. I mean they they sneakily subscribe you should I would be 500 literally cable You're giving us it's like commercial. It's my dad getting $500. Comcast bills dude now. It's what it's for is ripping off old people prime Those commercials now Netflix is gonna do commercials. Oh, yeah, so yeah, it's gonna be 1899 regular Netflix You get commercials so like in the middle of your special will be like commercial. No, I know that I've had this 25 bucks. I had to have this discussion. What the fuck is that dude? It's crazy nice the seven kingdom is made for TV I did I said you can't I don't want to do it. Yeah, that's ever and then they were like well We can have it like presented by a product. So it'd be like Gillette beautiful dogs presented by fucking dude wipes No, man skate. See I do like native ads with your jokes. You're starting out products You start to understand up like UFC fighters just everything all over your shirt. Yeah I should go out. Share this just in fucking tight Me nuts. Yeah, there's an UFC off the tiny penis sticking out no cup Did they work? No, I'm sticking out USC. Yeah, dude. They didn't do you see it? Knuckle during a fight. Yeah, it's a smell. It's hiding your penis under your fight Especially if you're clenched up like that that it kind of sucks Sit on yourself for too long your dicks and nubs. - Yeah, it's mine's inverted right now. - It's part of your fat bullseye. It's part literally my bullseye is hanging over my feet. (laughing) - Feels like a cliff. (laughing) - Well, now I'm thinking about it. - I'm like super mario right now, on a super Nintendo cross, I get like an autistic kid and throw my back hurts and then I get up my dicks like inside my stuff. - You on the carpet? - No, I'm on a bed. - Damn, I wish you were on the carpet. - No, I can't do that. I wish you were out, I'm gonna hit the mondonny, dude. - Oh, shit, oh dude, could you get my dad pissed off talking about that? - True. Fucking mom don't me, look dude, he's not your mayor. - I didn't know the mayor was a bullseye. - You were at a giant house like that. - Yeah, that was crazy. - I didn't know the guys who bombed it at the house. - That was a big house like that. - What do we do? - You said it real? - I was afraid to get into politics with this. - Oh, good, I brought it up. - Let's do it. - Did you stretch it where they turn in the anime? - I regret saying, guys. - Is it the liberal ideology? - What about the psychologists? - They go real crazy. - Well, you should've said that. - Well, but that's fine, I'm glad that weighed on your soul. - It did weigh on my soul, but not for the reason that you went the way. It was just, you know, go ahead. - Talk about killing Christ. - You know, I was just saying-- - It's not worth it. - He said earlier in the podcast, he said, "I understand why we killed Jesus." - No, I said, I understand. I said, "If you can-- - Oh, he's right, he's one of them. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah, yeah. - Garbage is terribly serious. - Garbage is fucking Republican. (all laughing) - Hold on, hold on. - You must be-- - Garbage is a fucking Republican. - Garbage is a foxy. - Garbage is a square dance. - Garbage is a foxy. - Probably every Jewish final form of foxy is. - Foxes are Republican. - Oh. - Well, it's funny, he took that up. (all laughing) - Not a fucking woman. (all laughing) - But, no, what I was suggesting, it was, you know, it was not not completely-- - Of course, you don't have to cover it. Yeah, it's fine. And also, they already clipped it, so. - Okay. - Yeah, you're good. They're never gonna, they're never gonna, well, he says he feels bad about when he said it. He understood why they killed Jesus. - Understand why somebody would say we should kill this. That's already being joke-world story. - I get what you were trying to say. We were just bringing your balls. - Okay. - Oh, Bob Bosch. - Yeah, but they're not gonna put this part in the clip. It's gonna be you doing that. (all laughing) - You just have to say the concept of a nuisance. - Yeah. - A socialized nuisance, Jesus, Jesus. - Oh, no, and, you know, not to say that Jesus, but, you know, my general understanding is that at the time, there was also like a lot of messiahs, ear quotes. The customer-- - This is what they did, you know, fucking ear quotes. - Put the shovel down there. - This is old Hebrew school. This is Hebrew talk. - I don't know something to do with this one. - There's only one trick out. - And they chose you guys as the chosen ones. - I mean, good Lord. You know what it was? We went to, I'll tell you exactly what his trigger is. - What did you do on Birthright when you went? - You went and go, no. - Nice. - Get, that's cool. - Get. (all laughing) That's tough. I mean, if you're gonna go on. - He's gonna be swimming in post the intelligence. - He'll also become his actual chemical world. - Jewish necklace, I can't-- - Where are others? (all laughing) - We got that, too. - What's that? - Nothing. - Oh, but, what was I gonna say? Oh yeah, because we went to this animal expo. And then like-- - Oh yeah, we went to-- - I didn't tell you this one. - What? - Do they grab the cat? - No. - No. - That was just an old guy. - That's not like it's sick. - And some guy was like, oh, there goes that Jewish guy. So, that's sort of like in my head that-- - At you? - Yeah, yeah, to his friend. - What? - Yeah, it was just like a thing that-- - I don't know, dude, you don't-- - Yeah, you don't-- You're like a day walker. - Yeah, you're not really a Jewish. - No, you don't really like-- - Well, I think it's just from the show or whatever it is. - Oh, I bet. - No, no, it's not, not your bet. I just, did I play that? - No, they went through a cat accident. - We went through a cat accident. - I have any animals. - I suppose that's not working. - I'm sure it was fucking immediate. - Cat, she's fucking it. I went to the judging cats. - Are you serious? - Like they took it out of their head. - They put them on a table. - Yeah, you look at the cats. Now this is like a-- - Like blue russians? This is nice. - It was sick, but this guy, this guy he was walking about with his main coon who apparently he lost 'cause he was fired up, but-- - Yeah. - I just stood in the front row. - He goes for it. - He went to bed. - He grounds it bothered. - Holy shit. - The guy's like, he motherfucker. - Dude, show cats. Never thought of that my entire-- - Yeah, as soon as I heard about it, I was like, we gotta get there. Look at this shit. - Holy shit. - He has main coons. - Yeah, I get that. - How come this isn't on TV like the dog? - Well, that's not one cares. - Please. (laughing) - Holy shit, that was great. - Yeah, it was a wonderful experience. I didn't know there was Jewish hate at the cat accident. - Who knows who it was? Hey, it was just like how it was every year. It's not in all time. - I didn't find it. - It's every day anymore. - It doesn't stop. - It doesn't stop. - But then I'm done. - I know. - I can't. - It's terrible. But that's super bad really actually. It affected me in our style. - I feel cold start. (laughing) - Couple of couple brews keys. (laughing) - Oh yeah, what'd you say about Jesus? (laughing) That is exactly what I was worried about getting. - No, the mom dummy thing where you got the mom. - Where's Soder? - The cat. - The dummy got bombed? - Yes, dude. - What do you mean? - There's these two psychos. - Yeah, but that wasn't a mom dummy. That was at his house. - That was at his house. - Oh, but I thought it was at the protesters. At his house. - No, over the protesters. - Over the protesters. - No, it was over the pro-immigrant protesters at the anti-immigrant protesters. - Oh, I thought it was at his house. - It was in front of the script. - Sure, but it was at the protesters. It was at the Patriots. - Whatever, but they're making cool anime like fucking reels. - The animators are starting to work. - Yeah, I like it. - But no, the kids who did it, they have, they live in like a five bedroom, four bath house. - Yeah. - On the bus journey, it's nicer shit. So all that, it's crazy. - What happened? - Their house is crazy. - The guy that threw the bomb. - Yes. - It always is like that. - Yeah. - Little Ouija guy. - It's never broke guys doing political stuff. - Yes, they did, they can't get to New York. You'd have to give them jeez. - I always saw that. I was like, "Why aren't these guys at work?" - I mean, you thought the Muslim terrorists were throwing that at his house. - My son? - Yeah. - Oh, whatever. - No, they, I think they were throwing it at a place. - Stuff goes in and out. - The figure, I make it up. - I don't even know if he's the white national. See, I don't know anything about that. - Start kind of going with what I'm feeling lately. - I actually, I kind of agree with that. - Make the make shit up. - Yeah, I like it. - Disinfos kind of shit. - I just keep telling people, I'm gonna open the straight of hormones. Anytime someone's like, they're closing the straight. The oil's going, I'm gonna open it. I'm going over there, I'm opening it. And they go, "Gas is gonna be $130 a barrel." You know what I'm saying? Oil's $130 this way. Yeah, no, it's not. - You got your dad with the Trump ID. - $40 now. - Oh, yeah. That's gonna be good. - You got it, yeah. - Oh, nice. - Start making Trump ID. - They were doing the Biden ID. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I mean, my dad was doing like, he was 16 years old a while. - Oh, the thing he was doing. - Your dad was, he got like 50 over. It was amazing. They're in his whip. They're all over the place. On his dashboard, on his dash and his wallet. - We're on the oil go cart. - Yeah, on this go cart, on the dash, on like the fuel. There's Biden point. I did that. You know how awesome that feels? If you get in this fucking assholes, making my guess expensive. - It's a big sticker. - My dad said he went by the, I mean, they're funny or shit. - That's crazy. - It's amazing. - You'll never feel like that. - I wish I had a side that, like I wish I could pick a side that. It was like I could just buy in. - When I ordered those white rabbits, - Cutters I was. - Yeah. - I was on trucks. - My dad's so good to, it'd be so nice to be like, I'm right. - Oh yeah. Feels good. - He figured it out. The guy I listened to actually is right about this. Believe me. But he went by the Icebro tester, the No Kings or whatever. And it's all old people too. So like all the old people in Swarthmore are doing like No Kings Pro. - Yeah, the No Kings was definitely for the Geese. - My dad drives by in a Nissan Pathfinder that he got. It's a 98 Pathfinder. He bought like three Geese. And it looks at all them just starts to get that head. - It looks like a '08. - He had an old one. - He's got an old one. - Oh wow. - Yeah, he's like, I just went like this to him. He's like, that's sick. They must've been pissed. - Dude, we watched a great like little conspiracy reel where I was like, they got rid of all the cars. When they did cash for conkers, all that was to like get rid of them. - No, that's cash for kids. Cash for kids. - No cash for kids. - So it's straight to me. - That was straight to me. - Pennsylvania. - No, you're not allowed to know that. - No, I'm just saying careful. - We allowed to know that. - Cash for kids is fucking us. Nobody talks about it. - You're saying to live in the area. - Hold on, are we allowed to talk about cash for kids? - Yeah. - Free conkers. - Cash for kids. - That's good central PA lore. - Yeah, yeah. - What, cars for kids? - Cash for kids. - Straight to Israel. - I'm on familiar. - Oh yeah, sure. - Yeah, like a prison system thing going on. - I missed that. - I am unfamiliar. - No, the cash for conkers, shit. Like there was a good ass video about how they use it. They just get rid of every reliable bit. - We had reached such a peak in analog engines. Then they were like, no, digital ones with kill switches on start. - Yeah, but how are we gonna get rid of all these awesome cars? Pull it up. But it was actually, we debunked it in real time. Only 680,000 cars cashed in, so it didn't really have an effect. - Yes, not much. - Yeah, I debunked it, so it's jury still out. (bell dings) - This episode is brought to you by prize picks. Shoot your shot on prize picks and get $50 instantly in lineups. When you play your first $5, that's right. Prize picks is now giving you $50 in lineups. When you sign up and play your first $5. Prize picks makes every dunk, every dime, and every board, that much more exciting. So don't miss this chance to get started on America's number one, app for sports picks. Hmm, specific players I've seen play really well. I'll tell you what, I did actually catch the Duke versus Virginia game on the March madness. So that was, I'm gonna say, who are the guys? The boozers, there's a lot of boozers on that team, and I liked how all of them played. Guys, and the good news is, if you wanna get in on the action, prize picks is now available in all 50 states, including California, Texas, Florida, and Georgia. Also, prize picks puts their users first, so all withdrawals are fast and secure. Prize picks accepts most major payment methods, making payments into your account quick and easy. That's important as well, this sports season. No wonder millions of users have already signed up. for America's number one sports picks app, come join them, download the price picks app today and use code Drench to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code Drench to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. - Price picks, that's good to be right. - I'm afraid of AI. - I don't trust the dog. - I know it's pretty, like Joan, that Joan's dog in trouble. - That was very good. - The beginning of that, that, you know, that's how we get plugged in the matrix, dude. At the end of that, we're plugged in like that. - I still don't give a fuck about AI. Video games aren't that good yet. - But now. - Once video games get real good, then I'll go damn AI's out of control. - And AI can't even find it at all. - That's fine, dude. - Me and Bill are looking for an old meme. - How do you better graphics? - Yeah, I'm trying to find a real. - We're finding an old meme from like 2016, maybe. - Well, it was 2011. - No, it was when, oh, it's old meme, man. - It's a meme of George Bush. - I swear to God, I don't know what's happening. - What do you mean? - It's in conversation right now. - I'm sorry, are we fucking stuck? 10 minutes? No, I'm just a fuck. It's probably funny. - There's a meme. - It's probably funny. You're talking about cash. - I don't trust AI did come. - I did like that. - Yeah. - There's a meme that we're looking for. So, Bill is like, dude, Rogan's got a perplexity. Get this? We're looking for this meme of. - We're talking about your name job, Rogan, like that? - No, I was talking about that. - So I think my brother was on Rogan, dude. I can get us in touch with perplexity. My brother did Rogan, dude. I know Rogan. - Spada's $17 perplexity. And then I was like, dude, it's like all of them in one thing, rock. And rock is kinda ass. - Yeah, rock sucks. - And then he started using perplexity. That's. - I'm investing in AI and defense contracts right now. - But it's George Bush drawing the football. - Four. - AI. - You know what I'm saying? - You've definitely seen it. It's a meme of George Bush handing off a football ball. - Shaderhood loses open, dude. I just opened it. What? - It's a meme of George Bush handing a football off to Obama in a poppy field. - In a poppy field. - And like Osama bin Laden's in the background. - And there's also this guy, George Bush. - This guy. - It's an old meme. - Oh. - I don't like the king of me. - But perplexity. - It's five. - I have all the game of skinny. - Pull ups, bro. - Yeah, you look at him. - Pull ups over and over and over. Good guy. Fucking tier one operator. - I was trying to do a handstand push-ups. - I know. I heard he does him an abolition. - I need to do eight push-ups. - That's good. - Yeah, Gerby's looked like a tier one operator today. - Shredded. - What's the gun range? - That's right. We went to the gun range. The whole time, I'm like, you're gonna love it. He'd never fired a gun. I was like, it's so sick. You're gonna love it. As soon as we get in there, a couple of loud pops from down the range. He was like. - Oh, shit. He hates it. - He called it an air strike. - Yeah, he called it an air strike. - Yeah. He said, oh, God, they're in here. Blow it up. I found them. - Bombs without a siren? - Yeah. I cleared them. I didn't think I was gonna claim up. - When he shot me in walks, hold with you, brother. - No. He sent some leaflets to the range first. That's up tomorrow. So everyone clear out. No, it is scary, dude. Fucking go the range. It's like. - It is. It's very, especially right when you get in there. Oh, yeah. Like the first like five, 10 minutes, it's going in there. You're like, holy shit, I'm a pussy, dude. I'm so scared. And then the guy giving us all the guns and showing us how to do everything was seem like tier one operator. He's like, all right. This is what you do. Flip his. You can fucking slap this. And then you're good to go. Okay. - Yeah, yeah. That single thing you just sent us a machine gun. I'm like, so you got fucking start over it. - Yeah. - He's like, this is your workplace. All right. This is your fucking workspace. Now you fucking do this. - Do they coach the coachy there? - Yeah. A little. I think he was. - He was, I'll be honest. Like I was a little fast and loose. I liked him. He was it, but. - Yeah. I think it was the nature of our group. - Yeah. - I would have preferred potentially. Not, not, not, you know, again. Three-way-shade. - Three-way-shade. - He was the man. - He was the man. - He was scared. So I think I wanted somebody to be like. - He started yelling at him while he's giving him the stress. - He wanted somebody to. - He wanted somebody to hold the gun behind you. - Yeah. - Honestly, the first one. Yes. Cause he fired one round. It had a fucking silencer on it and no kick. It was literally the gun I have. - Oh. - It's literally just, it's nothing. - It's nothing. - No, it's a fucking asshole. - That's what it's like. - It's like a, it's a carbine that fires a fucking nine millimeter. So it's against your shoulder. - He's a gun bullet. - Yes. So it doesn't move. - Dude, the shotgun. It backs wild. - He fired one round. It was just like, okay. (laughing) - And then cause he was, then I was like, well, let me just do something. - He's like, this isn't for me. - Let me just do something like smaller with a handgun. So he had a Glock 9. I think that's what it's called. - What about the police? - A handgun was, it's way worse than that. - You're way worse. So he fired it and I was, I told you guys before him. But like, I wasn't even expecting a shell to come out that fast. And it's just like the immediate violence, the noise. And then the shell coming out. I was like, no. And then he just stood back and tried to be a team player and take video. I was just like, I know. - I felt like it was a little ride that I wanted to get off of. - The best was just, so he's got, I thought it was the headphones. And then I realized you were actually screaming at the guy. I thought, I was like, maybe he thinks he's talking, he's talking too loud because of the headphones. No, he was yelling. The guy was like, all right, you want me to do this? Here you go. And he was like, I didn't understand. And he said, you're gonna have to start out. - No, no. - I didn't say anything like that. And I was like, yeah, I had to smile on my face. But then, so then they wheeled in a belt loaded machine gun or belt fed machine gun. And even the guy that brought it in was like, this is a once in a lifetime thing to shoot. - Oh, yeah. - So then I watch everybody else do it. It was 50 cowl. - No. - But it was sick. - Yeah. - But Gerby's, it was nice to watch Gerby's moisture the courage. And he did it. He fired one bullet. He fired one bullet from the first gun. - Yeah. - And then stood in the back the entire time. I was like, this is just-- - Get a state of pussy the whole time. - And then a machine gun came out and he fucking did it. It was pretty sick. - That's awesome. - Proud of you, Gerby. - Thanks, dude. - How about that adrenaline? - That's what I said. Like the moment I came off, I was like, uh. - Yeah, yeah. - Where's the schools? (laughing) - I know who I was. They're under the hospitals. - No, no. - Percent. (laughing) - What is this? (laughing) - Go easy. It's loud. - Prick and two has got to a gun wrench. (laughing) Start shooting the floor. (laughing) You know, the target's right there. It's like, well, there's other targets. There's some-- - I need to say it. - What? - But great, you know. Another joy show. She did shoot the seal. - Oh, she was hitting everything. Especially before we go in, she's like, I'm good at everything. I'm such a good shoot. Like a shot. - Yeah. - She gets in there, hits the fucking wall. - And then-- - And then-- - You're like, dude, you cannot hit the wall. - The trade. - This ricochet is-- You cannot hit the wall. And then his brother took me, he was like, dude, this is gonna be awesome. We rolled in. There was a guy on a date. It was like a snow bunny black Panther Party situation. And I was like, yo. I was like scared. This guy had like dreads down here. And he was like waving like a fucking AR-15 type thing around. - That's cool. - This is at Atheon Spring Garden. - That's fine. The inner city of a small room. - I think Dome's someone in COVID. - Dude, and I was like, we all have bullets? - Yes. Oh, wait, they got killed some of them. - Yeah, they tried to break into his fucking spot. I think it's that one. In that area, they fucking come in. He's just sitting there, dude. Like, can't even-- - We didn't see this, bro. - He's like, yo, this is-- - Finally. - You're a lot. It pops. - Dude's die. - That guy's the man. - Yeah. - Sanding ground. - Also, there's nothing-- - You're a whole way for that moment. - Nothing makes me happy than seeing black dudes and white dudes together at the range, dude. - I was scared, though. I was like, yo. - Oh, we're it. This is it. Two A-boys getting together? - I didn't realize it was so expensive, though. - The ammo is all good. - Why? - A lot of money. - It's not good. - They treated us really good. That was awesome. - Oh, yeah. That place is awesome. - But yeah, Gerby's-- - Are you in a purchase? - At some point, yeah. - I don't know. - But I'm gonna go back for it. I'm gonna shoot the Glock 9. Like, that-- - That's fun to shoot. - Yeah, that was one that after the machine gun that felt like I got my cherry tops enough. - What? - Fucking bonds got in PB7. - Yeah. - And a PB7, dude. - Yeah, you should. - Oh, you see that? - What? - I just-- - It's gold, man, bro. - This is what I'll say about that. - The side tops is a dentist answer. - It'll be, it'll be-- - You'll be the next-- - It's a second of a smile, you know what I'm saying? - A piece of shit. - Look at him in a tux. - You should go outside instead. I feel like that would calm me down. - That's what I was saying. Outdoor gun ranges are a lot better. - Okay, but that gun range was cool. And they had like-- - Yeah, that was an awesome one. - That was an awesome one. - A smoking section. It was like-- - So it's a warehouse? - Yeah. - I wanna see Gerby. - That was a fire place. - Easily the best indoor range I've ever seen. - You know, like that show thing where they have-- - Yeah, I go there. - If John Wick was one movie. - Awful movies. - If that was one movie, it'd be the best movie ever. - Yeah, I agree. - The white John Wick, it's like a Dodge Challenger commercial. - I was like, "All at once." - Like, "All at once." - "All at once." - "All at once." - And I was like, "Dude, I wish that was just one movie." - The first John Wick, I just watched randomly. I was like, "Let's see this piece of shit movie. "Kiana Reeves Action movie, fucking dog shit." Halfway through, I was like, "It's gonna be the best movie I've ever seen." - I haven't seen it. - I watched it tonight. - It was when I lived in Conchock, and then I brought Matt over. And I was like, "Bro, check this out." - That's all. - Wait till you see this. - Yeah, he saw it with me. Like, immediately. - And that's a lucky. - And then he was like, "Shit sucks." And I was like, "Dude, I swear to God, it's all-- I watch it like five times." - Dude, you're getting like-- - Way off, man. - I was like, "Just kidding, bro, so what are we going to do? Wait till you see this shit." - That idiot's look, I say, he's-- - Is it real? - He really hit it. - Animal Kingdom. - Animal Kingdom. - Dude, it's star-studded, and it's real. It's like a quiet, fucking gangster movie. It's nice. - Australian gangster. - Australian crime family. - Nice. - I got one for you. You're gonna like this. Kirby says a new theory. He just hit me with-- - Do you think we're like flight club or something? - That's right. - Yeah, like I'm his Tyler Durden. - He thinks he's Tyler Durden. - Well, I'll say I'm his Tyler Durden. - He thinks he's Brad Pitt. - Hold on, I got to actually drop this for a minute. - Yeah, you got it. Wait till you hear this. - You're at the dude. - You're at Gorn? - No, he said no. - You're at Gorn? - It's just the reverse. Yes. Whoa. Yes, that's why all the things. Skervin, all the things that he represses. He thinks I'm repressing the version. Let's just get our clothes tailored, but Gerb, let's get hair. Gerb, listen, so Shane is the guy looking at, we're not getting hair. So Shane's the rare hats until we're bald, just right. So you're saying Shane's the guy that's looking at the NPC Ikea catalog. Not knowing what to do. No, no, no, but you're the guy that's living, you know, who else with Bellatrix was drinking. Yeah, basically, I'm like, those will be the characters, but he's not looking at Ikea catalogs. He's like watching football and all that stuff, right? Meanwhile, so you've got me on a plane and I'm going, that sure would look a lot better. If you got a tailor and then he's like, this and the other James Bond. Well, and then the guy who just had a panic attack at the gun, right? He's got a dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty. That's what you're supposed to say to him. That'd be good. That's it. And he's got a positive Italian. So he thinks Chester's going to implode. He thinks I'm going to be meatloaf. He thinks I'm repressing things because he says stuff like, oh, Jolene is the cutest date spot in my stuff. Don't say cutest. Exactly. I say cute. It's a cute. It's he's somebody who'll be like, what about this barring? Is oh, that's such a cute date spot. I heard him say that and I said, now why are you doing that with your eyes? Let's fuck up. What's wrong because you say we're straight. We're all straight. You don't say a cute date spot. Hey, Siri, what is the word cute? Mean, bro, I think you're going to be this is so Jewish. A peeling in a pretty dang it. Who uses gay already? It's kind of starting to feel bad. You're listening to it. It's still listening. I mean, fuck it's still listening to me. I mean, it was like I'm peeling in a pretty or something. Yeah, you say like babe and shit, which makes me uncomfortable. That's sexy. Yeah, babe, that's the same babe to dudes to girls. No. Oh, I mean, I don't know if you're like a Chad, it's just fine. Yeah, but true. I'm sorry, it makes you uncomfortable, it does make me uncomfortable. It's awful, it does. Because you're like, bro, this dude's got this kind of in your head. I wish I could drop that drop of that. Yeah, it comes with some machismo. He's trying to wear cowboy hats and cowboy bits. He does. Are you talking for real? He works out in a cowboy hat and a fucking life beater in his gym. I don't even know one other guy, that's it. You think of magic, Mike? He listens to Shabuzie while he does. I don't know where Shabuzie is. Someone blow me up a double shadow with, and he does, but he can rip pull ups. Yeah. And he's like, dude, do you want to be, do you want to be a millionaire? He is a millionaire. I, you are. Shade kind of puts me over that. Reels of that. Damn, puts you over the edge. How are you doing? Dude, reels of him and cowboy gear doing pull ups would be great. There's only one other dude I know who wears a cowboy hat and works out. Hold on. I don't do it all the time. He did it worse. He's fucking insane. It's fucking insane. It was crazy. Hold on. I don't care. I'm not trying to attack you. I'm trying to attack me. No, I don't want to attack you. I don't want to attack you. I'm never going to get over this time. I don't know. I know. I was hoping. No, it's not. So excited. But you guys are really like your goose, I'm happy. No. Dude, I'm fucking fabric, bro. You two are too big. You two are literally the only ones other than me that'll go. German. That's nuts. He and him are always around people that are a part of our show, so we call them theater people. No, not necessarily. Yes, man, but just theater people. So like, I'll be like express ourselves a cute little date spot and I'm like, yeah, that's what I can get. You call it cute. And they're like, he's a whole look at like a lady that works there and be like, I don't think it's weird to say a cute date spot. They're always like, dude, I look right at you and I go in there. It's fucking cute. What are you going to do about it? Just how the guys saw it. He's done it again. When you went on Schultz's podcast, you're like, dude, the hardest thing to do is sing in front of your boys and they all burst it out singing and harmony is like, okay, my boy will do it. You'll sing for him. I know. He wouldn't. I tried really hard not to sing it. I said, guys, you can't, you know, in that scenario, you would enjoy. Yeah. Yeah. It was I admit it in that scenario. It was pretty fun. Well, I tried not to do it. But you got to what you have to. There's so much about Garbin. You need to know. I mean, dude, we used to have this thing. I gotta hear his music in his car. We used to have this thing for a church. Fuck this. It matter. What? Listen, everybody. No, it's far down. I like it. You listen. I don't really go with parts of the Caribbean, but like, that's the least. It's the least case. They're like a score. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. No, no. Bro. Yeah. Insight. You're standing here. Are you, are you two music or Spotify? Spotify. Let me say. No. No. Oh, you're not hit. Because I show me who you are. Oh, because I like, I, I'm a real noosey goosey with the likes. What's that? I'm noosey goosey with the likes. Yeah, I like this song. Yeah. Do you make playlists? Do I make playlists? Yeah. Yeah. Of course. It's not all making playlists. So you don't even know what's gay or not at this point. It's all blurred together. Hold on. I think you're really ashamed. You don't point at me. No, I'll point at you. Because, you know, I feel like a center is the only thing I hate about you. It's just one man having an argument with himself in the beard. There is no point. There it is. This is the sex point. I know. I'm going to have two more beers. You guys are going to be gone. I'm going to be down here in the dark. Shit. I made that whole thing up. I'm so happy. Google in outfits and stuff. You think I'm googling outfits? Probably. Probably happened. That's the old spade. Dude. You see the Terrence Howard PBD. No. Spade sent me the clip of Terrence Howard talking to PBD and he was like, dude, it's just fucked up. And came to Throne seriously, and dude started having sex and everyone just started searching like incest porn and stuff. It was like, really? And that was just you, girl. You started searching incest porn. Well, incest porn rocks. But are you looking up outfits? You're making me want to rewash the lights out. So we had a development, like a size development in my, oh, yeah, size of them, my, my boys are large now. Yeah. Yeah. So the shirt that I wear in this season. No. Gerberan is Jack. No, no, no. I saw like that tiny, tiny frame. But I was like, I did whatever the truth is, you know, it looks Max and you're not live Max and then you're nothing. There's that. Well, you know, well, so I like to spot for it. The first Gerberan's, the meeting of the minds, you know, this is a fucking battle. It's part of the first Gerberan, the two most different people I've ever met. Yeah. Just different, different versions of all this, it's, it's made one. You're not out there. I'm sorry. I can see you're the most visible. No, I see. You know, I was, I was, I was still clocking you, you're way smarter than I knew that I saw you face on the 160 IQ and I felt bad because I don't think you're dumb. He said it obviously. I think I'm dumb. Lately, you've been saying it a lot and I don't think you're dumb. Well, you've been saying, you've been saying you are dumb yourself. Yeah, I think I'm smart in like certain ways that matter, but not, not book smart. What is your area of intelligence like social, I think you're very good at communicating. Yeah. Yeah, you're not afraid to, you're not afraid to tell you, tell people exactly how you feel in a, in a dumb brute. No, you're smart. You just, I'm surprised it took you so long to find out you were dumb though. Yeah. I hit that in like, I was probably 20, high school, you know, no, no, I think I, no, I waited. I was probably 30. So you were shooting me? I thought I was snitching. We're like, we're not accepted in any college. You think like, what? I can figure this out. And there's an answer to be had and like, I'll just figure it out. Yeah. Where do you go? Actually, I don't fucking know anything. Right. I mean, nothing's going to solve, nothing's going to ever be fixed, whatever, dude, I'm so fucking fucking, I guess a beer is going to be racist. I'm so retarded that I was like sitting in my house, like probably like 2000 and 21 and I was like, wake up whenever I want, go sleep whenever I want. I don't even have to check in with anything of my mom. I want to know that. Yeah. And I just went to sleep. It's cool to it was like face to the dumbest classes. I was a senior at freshman in my classes, like, whatever. I'm like, I, whatever, it's like fucking retarded. You dumbest shit? Yeah. Fuck that. Not even try to hide that. School's a must. You're boring. You're boring. That must have been nuts for the freshmen that are like, that guy's a senior. Oh, yeah. And Billy was huge. It was like, I was like freshman. The same size. You'd be like, I was like 208 and dude, I think of being a freshman and being in the class like him. Yeah. Sorry. You want fucks me up? I do. You want fucks you out? We used to break our teacher's balls in oblivion, dude. And they're all like my age now, or younger, which is nuts because like 17 year olds are siapping them into, like, walking out in the hallway and like, taking breathers. Yeah. His fucking nuts. Dude, I had a teacher. I went to a pizza shop this week and there's like five teenagers in there that were like, Oh, it's like, a couple more black. There's black teens and they were, they were, they were nice fellows to paint a picture. As soon as I walked in, I was like, you know, oh God. And then that again, we get a picture, do we have to go and take it like pictures. And then they all sat down and started laughing. Yeah. And I was just sitting there waiting for my pie. Oh, brutal. I think they're making fun of me. They're literally making fun of me after they just asked for pictures. They got even mocked. - It was math or the young kids were, so they were like super smart freshmen in my math classes. - Yes, sure. - But like, I mean the freshmen were fucking geniuses. I mean, here's low phase algebra. - Oh, you're killing me with this. - Wait, seriously? - This is like a Tyler Durd. - I mean, Tyler Durd, I mean, dude, I thought I was stone. Like, I wouldn't do fucking kids. - They must be super smart. - They must be smart, at all. - They're not for one dude, they're freshmen. - Creators must be fucked. - Maybe they're algebra two, maybe two. - No, by that side we were in geometry brother. (laughing) I would fuck up geometry. - But you're not dumb at all. - I know, just suck cock and math. - I would. - I would ask myself. - Just study. - Yeah. They would tell me stuff. - Well, I toss you in the age grade class. (laughing) - Oh, phase one. - No, freshmen year, there's just some reason you're getting defensive. - I'm not, no, I'm trying to explain to you the situation. (laughing) - I'm defensive, I'm trying to explain to you the situation. - Fresh from year, there was a phase one. (laughing) - Senior, dude, it was tough. My one boy, my one boy was dumb as shit with me and then he got on Adderall, so I'd pass him everything. - You took Adderall, fuck. - Me and my one boy were like 65, 70s every class or every test. This motherfucker gets on Adderall, so it's getting 85s. (laughing) I was like bro, how you figuring this out? It's like I'm studying. He's like, how do you have that? - I would go home, look at this shit, my fuck. Oh man, Bill, you are the fuckin' fuckiest. (laughing) I'm not getting the ferns of John explaining the situation. I'm trying to literally show you how stupid this was. I was in phase one, they get rid of it. Fresh from year, 'cause it's a college. - Do you see the tree talking? (laughing) - What you saying? - No, no, it's a phase one. (laughing) - I'm sorry. (laughing) - I'm trying to find geniuses. (laughing) - I'm so dumb, it's not. - I'm so dumb, it's not, it's not. - I'm so dumb, it's not. - He saw that clip and was like, I need to say, my ass was in the jackpot, yeah, that's nice. He said it like five, he said it like five, five different scenes. - He's a new slion like that. - Oh man. - I was so bad at math when I went to Drexel that the math class, that I was in. - If you were that bad at math, you don't go to Drexel, bro. You go to Delaware County Community College and get president's list. Because it's the third time you took out for what? - I'll tell you what, I failed statistics in college, do it, three times, and then I'm talking that three different universities. - Well, finally, I hit Harrisburg area community college and I was like, I didn't make some changes. - I'm just shitting on African dudes. I'm not doing what's going on, I'm like, dude, why equals MX and split. It's simple, community college, fucking rule, your work. - Oh, it's the fun. - I took American Civil War, our teacher was a Gettysburg tour guide, it was me and Harrisburg area community college students. I was the only dude who gave a fuck and I knew a lot about it already. This guy was like, Shane, thank you, yes. No one else was paying attention, I'd be like, that was General Mead, right? He'd be like, it was Mead. - So I've been hearing YouTube, you've been here for 10 years. You're the first guy to, he's like, wow, anyway, we're going to have a good day, guys. - I ever told you about my last semester at Temple, when I screen shot at the wrong week. - Yeah, dude. - No, this is good. - Dude. - I was at Temple, and I was taking literally this. - It's like when I went to school, 9/11. - Yeah. - This is senior year. - No, this is like my second or, I want to temple in my sophomore and junior year, but I was taking three classes a semester because I was like, pro, you can take three classes and don't give a fuck. - Right. - Not realizing you had to like, take all of them to get out of college. - I took a screen shot of my class, or my semester after spring break, but we were off MLK day. So I had physics, construction safety class, and some other things on Monday, physics lab. So I was going to physics. I screen shot this. I don't know. I thought I'm off Mondays. I was chilling. Someday, as I was like, dude, we can do whatever the fuck we went out of school. I go in. - Destruction safety. - Dude, still past it. Still past it by the lights. - We can do what we want. - Dude. - So I fucking went for a month and I'm in physics and they're talking about, well, during the lab, we went over this and I had, I thought the lab was something people are going to or into physics. Yeah, literally no fucking clue. And then I finally realized that I've been missing my Mondays for a month. - All the Monday labs? - Yes. And my construction safety class, I rolled into my construction safety class after a month and not being there was literally like, I fucking didn't know I had this class. And the chick let me in. I passed that, but physics, I got a 46 on the test. There's literally beadled juice shit. I came in. - A little juice shit. - I came in. I was trying to find that Green Bay Packers jersey bought. I was going to wear it. - Yeah. - I don't know where it is. - Oh. - Oh. - Oh, you got to fucking read you what? - Yeah. - You got a 92. - I fucking went to the fit. - I went to the, the way you're talking. - It's just matter. - It's just good. - Yeah. - So I went to that, what is sign waves and shit? Signed a cosine? - Cosine. - Cosine, what is that? - I think they're way amplitude. - What's the type of math that is? - Trick or not. - Trick or not. - I have no idea. - Going the fucking my class get a 46, dude. I was like, what's the bell curve? Because I thought we'd all pass because everyone failed it. No one failed it. And then I shut up. The dude is in class. Like today is the last day of the ad drop. I was like, for the ad drop, do you have to pay for it if you drop the class this day? He's like, no, you don't. That's in two weeks. If you don't go out in two weeks, then you have to do it. And I was like, all right guys, got my book bag, left college. - That's it. - Wow. - Dude, I was like, this is a fucked situation. Like, there's no way I'm passing this shit. I can't, look, I'm not there. - Engineering is a construction management. I'm not making a call. - I could, I could. - I did the same thing with calculus. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I took calculus. - I took calculus. - Yeah. - Two times. - And I got a 33. - Yeah. - The way I filled out of Elon was hilarious dude. After I quit football, I just stopped going to class. I just drank in a house. And I'm not going to class at all. - Like fucking, so you're a skipping class. - One or two a week, yeah. - That's what I did, yeah. - And then went home for Christmas break. And they were like, you're expelled. (laughing) - Oh shit. I was like, oh shit, I got to tell my parents. - Oh shit. - While I was home for Christmas break, like, I'm not going back. (laughing) I didn't know I was getting kicked out either. I had all my shit in North Carolina. - My head. - Yeah, I mean, it was. - I was in a fucking- - It was dark dude. I was in my parents' basement crying. - Sure. - Yeah. I was like, mine's way more jovial than that. We like went, I was working at a trash incinerator that we had a cover with clean fucking fill. So we picked all the trash out, got rid of it, covered it with these, like, all these rocks, but we could only have like a certain size stone. So my dad was like, dude, just picking the big rocks out in this place is like a football field of just rocks. So I'm just sitting there looking down, grabbing my uncle rolls up in a trash truck. And he's like, what the fuck are you doing? I was like, dude, my mom wants me to go college. She's like, just fucking quit. - Okay. - So then I quit and started driving trash trucks. - Nice. I didn't have any support. - How did you get here? - I went to George Washington and then fell out of that. And then went to Delco, we got a $1,000,000. - Yeah, that's nice. - Fill out of that. Did you get a $1,000? - Yeah. - I was a watchtower for six. - And then I had to finish the truck soul. - You fucking, how'd you get into the truck soul if you fell out of Delaware County? - 'Cause the guy that ran the screenwriting program had like tried to get me, 'cause I like wrote a script by senior year when I was in high school. - Was it tires? - Wasn't tires. - You wrote that a truck soul though, right? - Yeah. - Yeah, that was like my senior project. - Oh, yeah. - And he fucking failed out. - Well, I did graduate Drexel. - Oh, you did? - Yeah, yeah. - Oh, I thought you'd done this, fuck. - Well, I filled out George Washington and then Delaware County Community College. - George Washington's hard to get into, isn't it? - Yeah. - Yeah, Drexel's not-- - So he's not done it? - Yeah, absolutely. - He's hard to get into. - Nobody failed out without drinking, really. - Oh, there's other things-- - And when I was a-- - He failed out without missing class. - Same thing, like after I failed out, I was living at my parents' house. So I did go to like every class at the Delaware County Community College. - When I was-- - No, when I went to community college, I'd locked in. - Oh, you knew it. - After West Point, after Elon. - Yeah. - It's time. - Two years later, I went to community college. Next to the farm show complex in Harrisburg. - Oh, my God, I'm old man. - Well, I had a joker bottom. - Mine was-- no, no way. - Delaware County Community College, I wasn't heaven. You could smoke on campus and shit, so like me and all the kids just go out in between classes, rip bots, go to your donalds. - I love how like your gradient of like, how sick shit is is what you're allowed to do. - Yeah. - I'm not meant to be in school. - I can't even imagine. - We're allowed to smoke. - Yeah. - Can you imagine if you had to go to school? - No. - If I had to, if my job tomorrow was to go to meetings from 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. - You'd have to, you'd have to. - The only thing you could-- - Chair, hemorrhoids, like you forget it. - Jesus. - So the hemorrhoids, that would definitely suck. - Yeah. - Are they permanent? - Yeah, I've only sit long enough. I don't know. I got a weird thing going on. But it's like, yeah, sitting on a plastic chair for that many hours, just listening to stuff you couldn't care less about. - Yeah. I mean, if you're like, when my life is teaching, I mean, obviously, there's some good ones, but lost in this behind that. - Lost. - If you're left, you should hold on. - I'm just saying. - Pop the brakes. - Some didn't say, like, "We're on a big bucket." - Obviously he's good teachers, but there's some, that's like art friends. - One mom was a teacher. She's a good teacher. - Hello. - While I was in school, one of the teachers got busted for having sex with the kids. - Few of them actually. One, I moved to all boys' school. - Yeah. - One, I, it was like prison. One, I moved her into her house. But I was retarded, so I wasn't picking up on anything I was going on. - Yes, urban, yes. - Well, it's just a, just, yeah. - Yeah, two to me, damn. - Yeah. - Well, I'm not getting around here. - That's a terrible thing. - You know, we were more almost done. - You don't have to be in tomorrow, right? - But that doesn't mean that we're going to get around. - No, no, no, I was just asking. - Oh, yeah, I was going to go in. - I know tomorrow's early. - Yeah. - I'm going to go in pretty late. - Supposedly, the one teacher was banging the kid, and she was like trying to be cool with all the kids in the class, and she was buying a beer and shit, and then she started talking shit to the one kid in class, and she was like, "I'll be right back." Went through the principal's office, "Yeah, she's having sex with one of the students." Got her booted. - Yeah, she was legendary. - She was called, yeah. - Oh man. - She was a fucking nice guy. - No, I could listen to you talk about school. It is so funny. Honestly, you are a filialist. You are the exact same, like the way he talks is, I go in there, I go, "What the fuck is this shit?" I fucking got a 46. I thought there was a fucking bell curve. (laughing) - I paid it on a bell curve. - You know, research papers, but there's like, I think five was my all time acts. I did write a paper in Temple. That was awesome. I paid this. - And it was five. And it was porn, the libido killer. And I had a whole paper on porn. Dude gave me an A+ who was cool shit. - That's a man, that's fear. - Yeah. - And then, yeah, in high school, we had to write like a research paper. I chose Alphonse Capone the worst. And I just paid kids to do it and the teacher just like, "All right, Matt, can I say you wrote this?" - Obviously, what am I? - Seriously, you were like, dude, I am. - I got busted without them. - Yeah. My boy, Shaw, wrote it. Shout out, Shaw. - I didn't pay anybody, but I took my roommates' favor from the year before and just handed it into the same teacher. And she was like, "You think I don't know this?" - You don't think I don't remember Kevin? That was like, "Mother fucker." - Fuck, I should've taken his day off. - The thing that the real shit about being fucking stupid is being too stupid to cheat. Because a lot of the smart kids can fucking cheat. And that would be like-- - There's like, at the higher edge of the line. - Yeah, they're so good at cheating. - Yeah, that's all that. - Super top is all cheating. - Oh, my boys, they were in like AP shit. We're cheating their balls off. And I was like, "Fucking hell." - I've told this before, but I cheated a lot. And I-- - How did she do it yet? People were right your shirt? - Yeah, no, like, we had a, yeah. He would give us the same test. So the class before this girl would just give me a calculator. And I would just, I'd get like 100, 100 on everything. - That's sad. - And then I was a recruiting visit for football. So I missed a test day. And then he was like, "Here's the makeup test." And it was like four, just four problems. That was it. 'Cause he like, he loved the football team. And he was trying to, he was like, "Mom, bro, I got you." I couldn't, I couldn't, I didn't know one. - One red. (laughing) - I didn't know one. I wrote three for every single answer and just handed it back to him. And I was like, I don't know one thing about what you, I don't even know this subject. I haven't listened to once. - Yeah, we had none of the chicks doing any, uh, sunny favorites 'cause there's all dudes out. - Oh, that's tough. Just dudes is tough to cheat. - Yeah, you need chicks. - You're just fucking around. There's like, there's no, cheating's physically impossible. - Yeah, be tough with those guys. - Dude, like right in that shit on your calculator, have like, you would have to at least know the equations a little bit. If you have like the cheat sheet in the calculator slit, I would sit there and be reading my, - No, no, he would give us multiple choice. It was Scantron, test. - Oh, God. - And then he gave me a real test. Like no Scantron, just like do the work. - Oh, you didn't have to show the work on the Scantron? - No, it's a Scantron, it's multiple choice. - Yeah, usually we would have Scantron and Worksheet. - Oh, yeah, yeah, we did actually have those in other ones. But no, this guy would just toss us Scantron. - Bro. - This lady would just write A, B, C. - I would hit scantrons and like, skits out. I'd be like, it's been A four times. - It can't be. - It's time. - Yeah. - This has to be wrong. - Little fucking roulette. You guys been read too often, dude. - Oh yeah, it's black. - My fucking SATs. I'm like Mick Avenue, so I'm nine sixty. - I like, I can't read. I'm like you. - I'm like you guys. I can't even fucking read. You know, there he is. There's our next president. - Dude is bulletproof somehow. He walks through all that shit. - Yeah, all you have to do is not be Trump. - Yeah, true. - You're gonna get if Trucker comes as the next president, though. - I'm out there. - Trucker up. - Yeah. - I see your fucking Alps, brother. - Trucker calls in here. - His Alpship and just got stolen. - You like Trucker. - I love him. - We're on the same vibe, bro. - You're on the same vibe. But are you on the fucking Christian? - Christian, where should the stuff that you said you were on to be in the bucket? - Catholicism, bro. There's a big difference. - No, like Trucker is definitely not Catholic. - No, Trucker is in Nicobalism. - Trucker wears both eyes, dude. He's a fucking Protestant. - Good point. - He said he's found Christ, honestly, buddy. - Yeah, he found Protestant Christ. - Oh really? That's 100% that guy. - That's not Jesus. - What's Protestant? - It's the exact same, yeah. - What's the difference? - We have Pope, bro. We have the value of church. - Oh, okay. - And also they're much more strict about word for word than Bible. - Oh, so they're kind of like evangelicals with that shit? - He seems a little more evangelical, yeah. - Yeah, I mean, I kind of just like the shit puts up about like, fuck, is he real and shit? I gotta be honest, he's fucking kinda nailin' it lately, but. - Yeah, it feels a little too good. I started watching that and like, fucking, if you gotta watch the Jones on Duncan Trussell, he get like halfway through, he goes back to his old shit and saying like, we're pretty much three-dimensional beings that are more powerful than the fourth dimension beings, but they're using us and we think they're more powerful than us, and they're gonna use AI to take us out so then they can talk to the fourth dimension beings. - Yeah, instead of us sending to the fourth dimension naturally, they're gonna create a false dimension through AI, while I'll be plugged into the matrix. - How does he know of that? - It was an arpanette. It was like a futurist wrote an art, I don't know what they call it, like a white paper for arpanette, before DARPA, before. - It's old like futurist papers. - I'll tell you what, Julian is just a cute little dude. - Don't angle that, man. - Fuck the fucking fourth dimension dude, I'm here. I spent the roots there, that was actually pretty good. - You went to where? - Roots. - Where's that at? - And why should I say? - It's a tasty, little cute spot. - It's a cute spot. - It's a tasty what? - It's a cute spot. - Do you love going on many dates? Is this why you say? - He's swimming in a pussy. - I'm not swimming in put. No, drowning. I'm not drowning here. - Definitely drowning here. - I paid my rest and he's definitely drowning. - I'm cheating him out there, and how often do you go on dates? - It's just curious. - It's your old day. - You don't actually have to say that. - Oh, thank you. - Okay. - We're just, we're just bullshit and we can totally edit this out. - Yeah. - Or not, blink twice. - No, we don't have to. - Yeah. - But no, I mean, updating, and so-- - Haven't fun as they call it. - Well, I'm being intentionally, I'm trying to, I'm-- - I want to find your wife. - Yes. - You're forever whole. - Okay. (laughing) - You're sheath, that's it. - I didn't think I would want my wife to find her. - You're so funny. - Sure, yeah. - Trying to find your first wife. - Whole. (laughing) - Your forever whole is crazy. (laughing) - Hey man, you found his. - Yeah. - Congratulations. - Thank you. - Yeah, I guess I-- - I mean, there's no hiding it now. - Whole. - Yeah. - You got your ring, bro, let's say. - I was like, bro, space always told me to put wear rings, but wear rings. - Hold on, let me throw that in the fire real quick. - Forget. - Very weird. You ever wear rings or anything like that? How far do you go? - Oh, he got me. - Well, he's trying to-- - If it wasn't for sheath, it'd be wearing a lot of it. - Like Jack Sparrow? - If it wasn't for Ed's Art and Diaz. - Yeah. - You remember in Fight Club and Tyler Dunn was like, dude, Ed Norton would think this is so gay. (laughing) - Although, I mean, the only thing is I think-- - You could totally punch her when you just go. (laughing) - Six. - I've hit a little bit-- - He does actually have an exit velocity on this. If you did die, I don't know how far I would go in the other direction. - I think I finally got through to you. - Yeah. - Here's how I knew I got through to you. - Yeah. - I was in a bananas. - The savanna bananas? - That was a major test. I'd sent him a video of the savanna bananas, and I was like, this is your shit. - What is it? - The savanna bananas is like-- - Like the Harlem Globetrot. - Like the Hot Guys. - I very much respect it. - Yeah, they're all fucking nasty at baseball, which it actually even pissed me off even more, 'cause they do all those cutie dances. And I was like, these fucking dorks and I watched them catch like a double plague between their legs. And I was like, all right, these guys fucking nasty. - Yeah, they're very tough. - The dances, but they're like doing like cute guys shit. - It's like cool face paint, fucking glow, like they're, I don't know, you gotta see it. - They're like Harlem Globetrotters. - In my opinion, it was right up Gerby's alley as far as what he, in his mind, if he could be anything, he'd be a savanna banana. - Right. - I thought for sure I was correct on this. I sent him a reel of the savanna bananas dancing. I said, this is your shit. - No. - And he said, no. And I was very-- - What is your shit? Like War Hero? What? - You want to be a warrior? (laughs) - Why did everybody react like that? - No, you just said, we're talking about-- (laughs) 'Cause I thought about it and we're slutsed with the savanna bananas. - That's how I feel for it. - So I was just saying, like a War Hero, like a famous War Hero? Yeah, you know, like-- - Like if you could be anything. - Are you like watching masters in the Airbnb, like this is totally-- - You would be like the line of Tel Aviv. - Kappa, Captain America? You're like a fighter pilot. - Okay, yeah. - 2020 versions. - Like map stuff. - Yeah. - Shining out a shawl. - Yeah boys. - Brother, it's like a pilot. - Not a savanna banana, then he told me. - That I've thankfully, I've gotten through the defenses. I've gotten through the iron dumps. - He came in, and now I'm in firecracks to die. I was just wearing-- - Burberry Tays, they're black, shut up. (laughs) - What? - I was wearing sweat. - Tommy's fiance bought me a bunch of clothes. (laughs) And I've picked this right here. - What's this? Well, I'm just saying I'm not out shopping. I'm not fucking it's hard dude But I'm out somewhere trying to fight a fair of pants. I never Grab I grab the wrong side off the shelf way This will shrink my ass sweats my armpits sweat and I leave that's every trip to them all. Yeah But it's a little too bright there. He told me he's like I saw that video. It's a man bananas. I thought to myself Weird and I was like yes, we we've reached it. It's just that's just the warrior yeah, that is the warrior on him Is that what you send me gay guys kissing on Instagram me trying to see if that's my stuff? I'll tell you what that backfire cuz now my algorithm Yeah, but dude, that's anyone of the guys ass cheeks. Yes, the guy with the thickest fucking cheeks There's a new one. I've been watching where it's a big tall white man that acts perfectly like a black woman And he has a little black boyfriend and they walk around it's crazy. It's fucking great. It's crazy I want to show it. Yeah, I'd like show me this it's so crazy and they do like she like the dude literally does the hand signals like black Is the end of that's not it's very fucking insane. I got a flat Why do you leave your cheaters in the truck brother? I thought about getting them you're what my glasses. I don't know Yeah, I've been sending you a lot of shit with that one gay podcast. We're talking about like getting nut in his face and shit What Jesus I sent you all those reels for the intro's You got to take the cans off riff. Oh the guy says all can hear you have your pants But now you want me to eat that cake? Yeah, that's killing me dude. I'll take the head ones off dude. I had to have a good list of holes Who's the guy who's like when they're talking about the geezer? Oh Brasers that's just killing me you've changed bill. I've changed. I let her it can be more normal. I get paid to do gay shit mate. There you go That's a dude. Oh, this is fake dude. It's real. Is she that he does like fucking girl hand signals and shit. That's great Turn out to song. I think it might get us So I'm not making guys those girls as a dude Anyway, I think I like 83 points in one. Yeah, I don't figure out that's forting about. He's at basically on the world's like painting New Mexico or something like that Oh, it's a little New Mexico state. That's a wolf pack stadium right there. She does that. Let's shoot I mean, it's he's a thank you. Thank you. No problem. Screen blocker. I can't see. So who? Oh, it's loading down here. Shane's good and cave. Oh So okay, that's a man. I understood. I like Baron Trump. You're for real. It's crazy That's what's that's what's gonna happen to everyone if everyone keeps it down this road. What are the Fatides in the maxing with huge asses. It's not on its top. It's like is anyone actually live dude? What? Gervin's fucking looks maxing. Gervin is look maxing, but he's not a got that rag and hairline. I mean not really has a Gervin's like cash right now. He hasn't got into. There's no substances. No peptides. No, no, this is natural Dude, we totally finds out about peptides. Tell me about pep you're gonna be like cat. Oh, I trust him I told you I was gonna take peptides today and he kept being like what peptides? Dude, I was like driving over I was like, I mean literally self very good. How come he gets to do it? So Billy met a dude Billy. I met this dude through Billy and he's like dude you gotta take glow take red What the fuck was the other ones Joe? Oh, I forget you got a pin to win. They say yeah, I'm sorry I can't inject anything so I'm just gonna have to be a lifetime natural. Can you inject yourself? Yeah, you know, I'm trying Is the best you look? What are they? There's just faces. They're not steroids. They're what it you look like tier one opera. I'll be fat in three weeks. I'll hurt He's this not the best. He's looked in a while. I'll hurt my shit. I don't really pay attention. I see you. It's time to I don't see him enough You should see spade son is jacked. He's never seen. He's literally like tall as this boy already Tall we're gonna talk about tall. It's a number. Well, frame Yes, his brain is actually like reading a full back For real, it might be it might be my calls, right? He was giving birth my call stuff. My call sucks. That's probably my favorite football But could he be the last fullback? I mean the game's gonna change so much He could bring back the fullback Fucking since and had us Charlie boy. Republican's Public is some of the public could be the final fullback Damn, he's a unit there. It's fucking stout. Well, it's got a dome dude. He's got a Jones bill. Oh wow. Oh my god Yeah, it's a hardy boy. That's a guy who punches metal for fun I enjoy the frame cute Cute now that's chance. That's cute. Yes a bar is him and a bar have nothing in common This episode is brought to you by Ruge yet you know how it is sometimes things are getting spicy, but you're let's say their words not mine and a little guys just not cooperating That's where Ruge yet ready comes in. It's a three in one ED treatment that dissolves fast on your tongue to start working in about 15 minutes And lasts up to 36 hours Supporting both blood flow and arousal so body and mind work together Ruge yet performance medicine for men go to Ruge yet calm slash drenched to get 20% off for a limited time Also guys, I have some shows coming up. Please for a love of good for a little good go to Matt McCusker dot com I believe I'll be in Iowa pretty soon and St. Paul many Minnesota so Go to there also I it's probably sold out, but there is that link show go to Shane Gillis dot com Is it Shane Gillis or Shane Emily double check here? Let me see guys. I'm I'm sorry to hold you up here. I just want to make sure I got the information correct Otherwise be pretty rude. I didn't I didn't even do this episode I can't just plug my shows that would be very rude of me to do that Lincoln financial field It is Shane M Gillis dot com by the way Shane and M Gillis dot com. Let's see if Lincoln financial field is sold out Hold on guys Let's see We we guys we got to sell this out. It's getting close if you think oh, there's no for a while I should be fine. You're a fucking fool. I don't see a lot of blue in this thing a little gray means sold out Boys, this is about to go. It's about the fucking go guys get your mother fucking tickets to chain in Gillis dot com Oh back to the episode Pardon the interruption pardon the interruption. This is Sean Gardini I just wanted to let you guys know that I'll be in Salt Lake City, Utah at Wiseguys comedy club March 27th and 28th With Nate Marshall, so please come see that show if you'd like and I'll be at the comment in Cincinnati Not comment ping pong just the comment in Cincinnati on May 22nd and 23rd So please come to those that was a little joke there But I'd like that. I'd really like to see you guys at the show, so please come if you can Tickets are at Sean Gardini dot com and we also have an optimum noctis at the Creek in the cave in Austin, Texas Me and Nate Marshall and Lamarley every first and third Tuesday of the month So thank you very much for your time pardon the interruption and enjoy the rest of the show and we're back dude Go in is you smash a machine Now bro, I love the documentary. No, but I love the documentary What the Marker thing? Yeah, the original documentary where he's like Can I tell you something that the documentary fucked something up for me with Mark Kurt because when you watch him He's such a badass and just like the way he like in the documentary too. He's like ragdoll This is like when UFC was dudes with mullets and karate bands And then he's in there with like actual spandex and he's just like our good wrestler It's the first time he interviews and he goes I was just going to kick the shares The rock talks like that. It's perfect. He does the boys so good There might give me the he made the entire movie. He was all happy He was on an airplane at one point going to Tokyo and he's like fucking huge in like I'll see and the lady sitting next and we're dude has that window and the things down. He's like Excuse me. Can you uh can you put that down? I love the sunsets now He calls about his tummy. Yeah, the best is when he's at the fair He's trying to go on the grab a charm. He's like you know, I can't call on that with my tummy. Yeah, it's perfect Yeah, when he was this awesome. I only watched the old documentary that was on it I think it was like on HBO, but it was just here and then I'm sure I'm taking pills and it was like in real time Yeah, I didn't even know that as a thing in the doc when you see him doing it. You're like Also, we made that documentary made Japan look nuts Because it was like before we knew a lot about it and they were just doing these like Tokyo dome. Yeah, fucking tournaments Yeah, and it was like Dude, that was a nice ride and all that shit. It's on the documentary. Yeah, I was like early 2000's scree Yeah, so it was like oh - right after the height of super mario. Yeah You've been on a real super mario. I did super mario land. I'm on three three's hardest fuckers That's actually hard paddle slamming territory like I fucking dying. I just grabbed the controller But what's your top shit right now? Nuki suit. Yes, dude No, I'll only race in a to-nuke suit. I know to-nuke mario. Yeah, it's easy. Yeah, it's three out of eight for that record Yeah, it's hilarious to dokey to dokey. Yeah, is that how you say raccoon and Jeff No club. It's a kind of I think it's like a mixed breed of something here later raccoon dog Mixer raccoon dog recently, and I was pretty fucking fired up about it. Actually, let me look up at what a to Newkia It has to be a raccoon, but there's I don't know and to Newkia. Oh, it's there's to Newkia. Moria I don't know if you're right, but did they say that in the game? I mean don't say shit my whole life I thought a good man fucking raccoon dog is what the fuck? What is that? Is that a real dog? Domesticated right no, no, it's not domestic. It's just an animal. It's like a soft face say Asian Yeah, I think that's probably what it's the Tanuki's base off of Japanese raccoon dog What is it actually a real mammal native to Japan known for its fox-like appearance Mass-like markings of thick brown non-ringed tail Give me credit in Japanese folk or trying to call you dumb. Yeah, no, I was more super natural shape shifters me and autistic Because we watch super mario 3 stuff when we eat supposedly you don't watch in YouTube video we get through it Supposedly you don't digest right if you eat watch YouTube or TV while you eat what because your mind is like watching the TV So you don't digest as good as you should she's just to go into like a deprivation tank and chew. It's impossible Yeah, I have to have a YouTube video to eat. I just put one on it a truck stop eating burger cake Like a toddler I put one phone on it's a little so high. I always just try to be gay not accounts They didn't have you like to me. I was gonna give it calls. So jealous. I tell you something really you're getting rest stop McDonald's and I was genuinely who wants me Okay, like what's what's the hierarchy? Well McDonald's is the best now, but let me tell you how much the arches call Wendy's fell off So look now for all freely hard Wendy's fell off. Let me tell you right now that's bright that I got that's right Was fucking terrific that sort of they've been hit me with reels about the big arch and I'm like I won't job looking at it Yeah, I would honestly if I didn't ask to me if I if I give a stomach full of BK I would do a clientele trip to get a big arch Hey, I was talking to Senator about eating before bed. I was like, dude, I can't do it myself to sleep tower. It does it I eat cereal. I used to eat cereal CCC what there's a certain a choice. Yeah, cement test ground Serial's horrible for you not supposed to drink milk right before you go to bed 70 pounds heavier than I wasn't high school That's all milk weight Milk is like a drug Milk arrived. It's the best. I love it. I can drink a gallon of milk and like a day and a half It's funny. It's like I've probably When I was a kid, I drank milk like water. Yeah, like I would I don't do that, dude I always hated eating at my friends' houses because then their parents had to see how much milk I drank One bowl of soup. Yeah You cut off you go. What did you say to me? Do my cuz my cousin's a chair to driveway with us on the compound They're what they had 10 kids. Jesus dude. I think there was a dedicated farm for their milk intake because it was like milk with spaghetti There we get for this spaghetti. I've done the rules every single time I've had rules here We have four liquid tomatown I remember being 17 or 18 and seeing the bill and it was 400 hours This is like 1999 like and they had four gallons of milk at a time always Yeah, Ajax would come in just slam. Yeah, I'm fucking because good household Dude, are you guys are like the grown cow ski street? Ajax just released an album. Oh, yeah, Ajax McCusger on Spotify an e voice of an angel bro Well, just so you know that's about to hit four hundred fifty sound like it Out of the depths with a diabetes port Fucking corrosion from the third floor. We're charting Kyron's dollars Dude listen to Ajax McCusger list though. It's like fucking sick shit He has a voice an angel, but it's like six foot eighties huge. That's what I want It's like Andre the giant if you could sing. That's what I want. That's the funnier. That's like the marker voice It's powerful as fuck bruh. Jack is a general giant. He wouldn't hurt a fly, bro No, but yeah, they used to crush little wine because a fucking Matt famous ass. No, no, go Spotify. He has a month's Spotify I just searched Ajax McCusger. It has to come. Apparently it comes up Caron's just look like artist Yeah, there it is Karen's doors perhaps John McCusker. No Fuck his John McCusker. I mean comes up for me. It's crazy that now you can just put up music Like, you know, if you're awesome, that's great, but if you suck, you're just like, oh, no Put up hit it. Yes, it's hot plate gives her taste. I mean the quality's insane. See why this? No, he did it with like an A.I. thing. He's singing It's ominous. Yeah, we'll give you some Ajax lore. Oh, I'd smoke and drive this shit. Yeah Jack's used to like stand at the perimeter of our school where like At the actual feet would end where the school property was and smoke reds in front of our disciplinarian Just rip Marble Reds and we'll get into Illinois. Don't feel like what are you gonna do about it? You're selling this album. I'm not on school property He can I know It's a long intro Come on Ajax thing You gotta hear his fucking voice I know he's coming. That's word. It's almost like it's a bit every time you Got it. Yeah, good instrumental intro don't do it anymore I feel like a big troll dude Karen stores No, that's it Break it was so funny That's great. Yeah, it's out of high school. I take it away Yeah, yeah, he can wait jacks used to also be able to memorize books. Yeah He made me knew what was on pages. I mean you knew walk out sombra. The whole Crush that shit. Dude. I'll bless Ajax before shows. That'd be fucking sick dude That'd be awesome. I need Ajax sing the national anthem. He would do that in a heart Like that the lyrics. Yeah, then you rush the night. He sings for every wedding. Oh is that coming up? That's like in May, right? It's a lot of life. Is that his cross to bear that he has to sing it every time? What cost her what if Ross the bear brother now the whole family loves you to do church your entire family of a Maria Oh, my dad even see him figure out I Maria together at wedding jazz. It's fuck how great how tall is he he's huge Jack's like a legit six five. Yeah, and probably three. Yeah, probably. Yeah, Foxway 320 Just a goblet goblet of milk. I'm singing like you can He has He did a talent show in high school. He did a Metallica I don't know which one when it was it was nothing else bad. I say no, say no. Really? Yeah, it's the fantasy of every teenager is to rip it at a talent show and some And some 33 year olds are just driving long. Oh, it keeps up thinking back. Yeah, thinking back where you go come out AC DC and I wail on guitar, so sick. There was a whole lot of senior girls want to suck my dick. I wish I could have gotten head That was the fucking about that manosphere thing was that guy's like video TV and himself getting head like that Yeah, I don't watch the documentary the monster where people film those Like throughs in England with this guy H. S. Tiki Taki and he's like, yeah, dude. I video if you go if you go If you join my telegram, you can watch me get head and I'm like, dude, this is a fucking thing these guys are doing and these streams are getting wild Not changed so good. I'm sorry. Our streams gonna have to we're gonna have to pick it up. Jesus. Yeah. Maybe we should quadruple kiss I would in Marbella, everybody that doesn't don't know how to go to Ibiza, and he's just singing to himself with a beautiful voice roll in Kigs like there nothing. It's a real malchigungs. I don't I'm learning a whole fucking thing I can't Yeah, he was a human. Yeah, it's just picking up kids. It's something about a staff t-shirt on a guy with long hair. I know just doesn't Just doesn't form with it. You go that guy. He's up to something. Yeah, I like it Yeah, though you can be a ponytail with a staff t-shirt. I've tried many times a girl in my hair never works You look great with my head just comes increasingly bigger You're gonna take the weight out of it. Get it cut. I do that. Then I look like you might be the fucking noggin boy What size that do you wear? I don't I don't don't yeah, I don't I never wear fitted hats. I why can't fit in a regular hands I think it so there has to be I threw it. I wore an ace. He sponsored by the big hat You all that a big hat. I did a commercial for the guy that he played it all over He's like I'll send you big hats and then he made me a Miami Dolphins hat When McDaniel was the coach of the Dolphins and I went to a game in my other friend that I grew up a Chad When we're on the field he goes so does wearing unlicensed NFL gear I hope all the NFL coaches get that cold dude. Yeah. Oh, yeah, McKevier's McKevier's got like he should all be that chill. Yeah You all right McKevier could you guys could go down for dumb births heads size eight like I think he's the only person I know there's who Bert Chrysler. He's got size eight. He ruined head though. How's that? - True, he's on set, he's on Testosterone? - Probably. - Dude, so funny when Barry bonds his head shrunk back down. And then he showed back up, but I'm like, I'm a huge giants fan of you and you're like, he's not on steroids and his head would go to the top of his head to a shoulder. And then he, and it was in the strike zone, it was gone. - Gone. - Oh, it was out of it, you'd be out. - Dude, when Mark, but when McGuire and Cesar were going for it, it was talking the best. - Well, that's why bonds got on steroids 'cause they said there was a dinner, there's a dinner at Kangriffy Junior's house and they're all talking about it. And he was like, "Want to see me?" "Want to see me?" "You're on steroids?" - Dude, he was. - It was like all this crush on him. - He was the best player of all time. - It's crazy. He's not even close, he's the best player of all time. - Yeah, he could have died in 1998 and been, easily our first bout all time rather than he was, I forget the exact step, but his, the walks, the on basis he took over. - It was like the highest, the more than teams combined. - Yeah, he had more walks than like the devil race that he had. - The funny thing was watching him, that he would just go into the plane and be like, take it first. - He put on his elbow guard or whatever and then he'd know they're walking him and he would like, "You get really huffy?" Where he'd go like, "Take off his elbow guard." And be like, "You won't pinch to me." (laughing) - But he did it. - Dude, if I don't run. - Hop it. - Oh, dude, I'm a trap. - Well, he was a stone-based guy originally. When he was like, "What the play was supposed to be?" - Pirates, he was the air, he was the air. - He was a rookie card. Him and McGuire were best friends. - He was nasty, yeah. McGuire was skinny until they started to chew sitting. - How hard were you guys cheering for McGuire over Sosu? - I loved it. (laughing) - Am I right, brothers? It's too young, but it's not. - All right, dude, I turned into like the fucking, what do they call him, Frankenberry? - Come on, Markin of Wire, Sosu. - Sosu turned into like an MJ? - He really did. Let's say it's the Frankenberry. - It's so real. Do you remember that video? It was happening to my skin. He goes, "Fami, Sosu's baseball, "it's so real." - Sammy Sosu, fucking rules. - It's a final. - I think that's what Adam can get a little older, you go, "Actually, Sosu was the man." - Yeah, when you're a young white man, you go, "I'd like to see Mark McGuire win, "he looks like my dad." - A red-haired man that has freckles on his face. - He's a man. - He looks like he's got his forearms tan for mowing the lawn. - Sosu, Sosu, he's just fucking cool. (laughing) - He shatterwood at the recliner. - Sosu sprinting with the American flag in the outfield at regular. I think it was right after 9/11. - Oh yeah, come on now. - Yeah, that's what it's all about. - Sosu was the man, but bonds was like the guy that everyone hated, so it was fun to like him and be like, "Shitty about it." - And you were a Giants fan, too. - Yeah, I was like, "He never got caught. "He never got caught when Balco was happening." - I didn't mean exactly. - And then he stopped playing, and he just comes back to earth and he's good. - Yeah, he's definitely serious. - Yeah, so what was your baseball team? - Giants, I love the Giants. - Damn, that must have been so nice at the ball. - There was times in the New Year. - When World Series, though, never won. - You won until 2010. But we lost 89, lost an '02, it sucked. - Was it Lensacom? - Lensacom was the man. - Long hair, fucking whipped it. His dad had a clause in his contract that a pitching coach couldn't change his release. - Sick. - He was like, "You're not fucking my boy's release." - What's happening? - Like the way he threw the ball, they couldn't come in and go, "You gotta just take your arms and go, "Yeah, don't touch the boy." (laughing) He was awesome, boy. - I remember watching a Giants double header. I don't know if it was with the Phillies, but I watched this and this went on for like two days and it went into way extra innings. Like 17 innings, it was fucking nuts, dude. - Wait, you watched this on TV or what? - On TV, like back as a game. - You sat down and watched the ball. - I sat down and started, it was like a fucking, and it went into extra innings. I was like, "This is fucking nuts." - Back of the day, no pitch clock. - Yeah. - Back to the old. - No internet, nothing. - I just feel like this game, I'm like sinning like dude, this game's on over yet. - We had a kind of reticent cycle of Peter. - You had a bar? - No, no, I was a little kid. - No, we had a Giants out there. - You're watching, you're watching a fucking Matt Williams, bat and fur. - It's like the mid 90s Giants. - Yeah, hell yeah. - Damn. - The mid 90s Phillies were goat, so baseball and Phillie was like, most popular fucking thing ever. - You said the baddest team. You said the coolest team. You had the coolest colors. The braves were the good ones. - We had a new uniform. - Braves were the villains, but you guys had fucking crock. Then you had nails. - H Williams. - Wild thing. - Oakland always beat our ass. So it was always like. - Oakland rules. - Oakland was great. Really Henderson. Rick Henderson is the funniest baseball player of all time. - I never heard him talk. I heard Barry about him. - He talks of a third person. The funniest Ricky Henderson story of all time is one of his teammates was talking about John 316. And then Ricky Henderson walked over, he goes, Ricky don't care if John hit 316, Ricky gonna hit 350. - Pretty with third person. - Man. - That's powerful. - You guys are gonna third person. - Me? - Change, I'd like that. - James does care about that. - It me? Never heard of the above. (laughing) Oh man, that was a weave in, we'll put together a good pod today. - Gabby's, Gabby's with fire. - Yeah. - Garmin is the funniest dude ever. - Garmin thinks that he is Tyler Durden to shame and shame and that's crazy. - Yo, he's crazy. - That's crazy. - That's a crazy day, he's nuts. He thinks he's Brad Pitt. - Yeah, he goes, as a six pack. - As a six pack. - It does have a great body. - Yes. - Thank you. - Dude, maybe this is what happens when you get a six pack. If you get a six pack you get to be like, "Oh God, dude, who's my fucking adorting?" - Yeah, that's like God giving drafts long necks so that they can eat this shit. - He does. On set during tires is, you lose your mind. If he gets there before me every day so I get into hair and makeup after him and he sings, while he's in hair and makeup he like sings songs with the girls. - Excuse me? - You must be the heaven dude. - It's his favorite thing in the world. - Yeah. - What kind of song? - I like it. - Fucking show tunes. What do you think? He does his thing, not a role that he's doing. - No, no, no, no. - Yankee Doodle Danny, this is the music he likes, yeah. - You come in, he's like, "Ahhh, boomer, and a box." - The way the music he likes. - Yeah. - The glasses, like everything he does is so fucking funny. - Movie star. - Yeah, dude. - I love it. - He is so funny. - You're talking Frankenstein. - Now, he's so funny. - Dude, hit the fact that he thinks. - But I'm getting to him. We were talking about earlier. And then the Savannah bananas, and it got through to him. I was like, "You like this shit?" And he was like, "Shit's gay." And I was like, "Yeah, theater." - Yes, probably, yeah. - You're starting to see it. - Yes. - I think it's gay. (laughing) - Fucking Helen Keller. I'm like, "Yeah." (laughing) - That was him going, "Ahhh." - That is water. - Dude, they do his hair. They shampoo his hair. Waller shampoo in his hair. He's like, "Oh, yeah." And I said, "Shit, stop." - The other girl, one of the other hair makeup girls filmed it and sent it to me. It was like, "This is what he's doing in here." Now, they're, they love this app. - No, no, no, no, no. They love it. He sounds like a fucking porno director from my grade 2003. This girl, this girl's doing his shampoo and he's going, "Holy shit!" (laughing) But I swear to the girls, those girls love him. I get in there and they're like, "Steve's so nice, you're mean." And I'm like, "No, I'm just fucking 8 a.m." He's like, "I have to put a fucking makeup on." - He comes in there with a tray of pink drinks from Starbucks and knows what each one does, too. And he goes, "Have you guys heard?" I don't sound saline like Vegas. - So he goes in. He tells them about his dates. He talks about his dating life. - It's his haircut. - He does. I mean, he's cool. - He rules the line, man. - It is. - It's absolutely correct. - And I am, he's read about this when it comes to the Tyler Dern thing. I am jealous of the freedom. The complete freedom. - Yes. - And-- - But you want to be happy, anyway. - He's happy. - He's just saying that he just thinks that you're freedom and his freedom is the same. You would be different, dude. - That's actually a very good point. - You know what I mean? - Your freedom isn't singing solvers with the girls. - Yeah, but I wish, yeah, I guess I don't really like this. - You just, you just kid it. You can just see. (laughing) - He's like, "You know what, I thought about it." - I'm Tyler Dern. And I was just in there like, "I fucked." - What was his name? - I gave up picking on Garvin for Lent, so. - Did you really? - Yeah. - My nephew gave up doing six, seven for Lent. - I'm serious. - He's struggling. Very hard. - I'll call-- - He's there. - He's gonna be like, "Is Andy on?" - Yes. - I'll be like, "Dude, we were at work today for like six or seven hours." He's in the car, like. - Dude, I coached fucking flag and all those kids, dude. Someone doesn't hit that extra point. It's like, (screaming) - Where did he go? - What the hell? - Joe says, "How's Joe's at seven, after you?" Because he's been randomly hitting like six or seven years and shit like that, dude. And I'm like, - I'm up. - Like seven or just seven. - Did you drop it and then, side eye? - It's so nice to just be like, "Is Anthony, can Anthony hear me right now?" (laughing) And he'll be like, Like dude, it was crazy. I was at work for like six or seven hours. He's just like, "Okay, come on, man." It's like someone not trying to smoke. He's like, "I think he's going to hell if he doesn't." A power of Catholicism. - He's just dying. - Oh, he gave it up the way. - He gave it. He decided they're like, "He knows, he knows." - Oh, this is great. - Like this is his favorite thing. - He gave it up. - Does Lent end on Easter or Good Friday? - Yeah. - Easter? Hands on Easter. Yeah, so he got away to realize this. He's gonna be way he hit the six seven Easter Monday is I'm gonna go Anthony with times mass six or seven My my nephew just had basketball the one kid was like fucking crazy 80 day And he would just run up and down the court once he got to the three-point line just slide all the way down Fucking rules. Yeah, yeah, I saw a nice video this kid with Down syndrome is special Olympics basketball Do I send this to you? So nice. He's he's he's fast break lamp this kid's nasty He like literally like vinger rolls in on a fast break, but the kid chasing him on the other team started to fucking Heading hitting him on the and then the game gets heated, but this kid's like drain and threes looking in the sideline like oh my god Yeah, oh, they got that right the WWF fucking taunts down bro. You ever play the game and reach for high fives Yeah, where you were like what was like medieval shit where you like play football kind of remember that is very good I was just watching videos on that the other day. We talk about this. It's like violent football. It's like medieval football on second Yes, this was called like pig skinnish. They did they love that on Sega and that's it ruled. This is very good I know he's hung out golden axe was my favorite golden axe. Fuck it. I got a little crazy all these like old next in the arcade What do you call that? Yes, but they're you got how did they do that? Oh, yes, that'll get all the songs cold next rule What do you call? He has a real thing. It's called steam deck. Yeah, I got steam I got that I got that thing on me. I wish dude my emulator fucking crash though. Wait, so you as too much work game boy It's like a steam deck's like a giant as everything switch. Yeah, it's like a bigger It's like a switch on steroids spade just got a switch and now he stuck in the under bottom Zelda I gave it up real quick dude fucking you guys killing it. I'm not built for open-world games. It's possible I'm a 2d game playing Zelda. I might have got lost I'm gonna have to look at the game. Oh damn. I think I've done that twice with both last of us I've gone halfway got a little board stop try to come back and do like I got to read I told those and I think I have to start the game I was just no you don't I was like do Imagine setting your makeup then forgetting it's even theirs Meet new grippy setting mist from Mavily, New York Zelda mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all-day comfy grip No tightness no stickiness no residue just plum. Do we hydrated skin that still feels like your skin try new grippy setting mist from Mavily, New York maybe it's maybe lane pretty sure I'm fine I entered the depths and I'm not supposed to be here yet. Don't have enough art Yeah, I just been fucking spazzing on Super Mario 3. It's kind of my happy place. What about it? Are you gonna give it like your Luigi's Mansion? No, no, I don't fuck I like their real ones. Although I do like a lot of people hate on Super Mario 2 I do like it. I don't care if that it was a rush game that they just slap Super Mario on it's still fun Shucks. I think they took it down. Did they was a day. I think I think the kid attacking them. They probably were like The kids fucking these shooting from NBA ring. It's like those videos where they're bouncing the ball off each other's heads That's how violent they're gonna my entire is just NBA Cliffs dude. I fucked up really not Jordan the Jordan LeBron argument and then now this new Spades is gonna go to the new shall be the kid that bump Kobe for the all-time points That's shots. Yeah, damn. Oh shit. It's fucked. I wonder how many Kobe had that night. I was sick 82 no, no, I mean free throws. Oh, yeah, but yeah, this was absurd mama 43 free throws. It was It was impressive, but it was also felt kind of like it's spamming. Yeah, it's someone's like I just fuck it Then you go don't do that. Yeah, you're not really trying to help him get it. It's like what I just played Tony Hawk and I turn off The you turn that off just for shits of giggles, but people would walk in a room and have a 5 million manual The manual I'd have 5 million going on So there's a way like when you get the balance of manual they would got really easy once you got the analog stick Yeah, you had it go it with the fucking thing and then you can turn that on you just get a trillion points annually We need zero forever. So people would come into my dorm or whatever No, I just be pulling into my room. You know the beanbag playing Tony Hawk, but I'd be like a 3 million run. That's so amazing Yeah, I walked in. I think I have I recall you doing something like that what that's like so be hitting like Madden They're up 140 now. I that got all I got through that before I was 20 I just I sort of got you doing I played him a mad. He went and took a piss and I switched mine to rookie put his on all braille or all mad And I was fucking him out for that's great. Yeah, that's great. He found out still a HB screen HB slip screen HB slip screen. That's like al-cated to take out Russia. Yeah You know, I don't I wouldn't do that, but I like that you do that. Oh, I think when someone goes when they're playing a game and they go to piss You got to fuck with him. Yeah, yeah, everyone knows Moonsh, you know that what he was talking about last time I see he's playing Red Dead. He went to bed. Yeah doors I got my friends. I put a stick a dynamite and I lit it underneath and the blue of everybody is great He came out in the fuses ladies. No, no, you had the gun You had the gun on it, and then you toss the dynamite. I but I did do that. I beat my friend and NHL 2001 34 to two. Well, that's great if you're playing against somebody. Yeah, but I was like let me play it through because there was a glitch People on the gloves side my body If you can manual one of my best friends and I know you and he deserved it in NHL 93 There was a glitch where you could just constantly fucking score and he never didn't do it the rapper That would just sit there like dude is it the wraparound goal? I'm in his bedroom like dude I'm like are you serious and just like never stop. It's like what a real good place people and pull just again I never I was like, dude, what's happening? This keeps happening. That was the craziest thing he's ever done Well, he's on that's your video games first time I ever yeah, true All right, the exact thing first time I did rogu in the first time I did rogu and we got done and he was like Play pool. I was like, okay. I was I never played he's like it's just play No, it's like so where to what you know dude he didn't help me. Yeah, he just destroyed me and pool for like two hours and then left Well, all right episode comes out to this. I was like this. There's a Some kind of dudes that can't lay it down and just have fun with all They can't do it. Do you think there was like a song playing like When Uncle Phil came back and bail bailed will out the fresh friends to soul man you think Joe Rogan was like It was like god's map. Yeah, what my first episode? No, no, I was I feel Uncle Phil and which we call fresh brand friends to be said now so fucking yeah, that might be my favorite episode of fresh Brits. Yeah, true. Will's hustling people and then he gets crushed and then Uncle Phil comes in and just beats those brains off everybody. He's filled from down the way Never said they're melt or what's his out? Denzel watched it but he starts talking about like stealing shit and stuff. He's like they know I'm Denzel from down the way It's like dude. You've been an actor for it. The year but the will spit the will Smith slap would he actually go like Julio Yeah, he's an actor. It's like with Lil Wayne. Remember Lil Wayne era was a dirty so fucking badass and I was due to my dark school I think he actually is I think he actually was very he was the real deal challenge up. Yeah Yeah, I think they're like we see seems like the real deal we see was like 16 when they put them on yeah, yeah, he handled Child fame in the hood. Do you understand the degree of like? I don't think you know, I don't know how well Yeah, I mean the cleanliness he's been a dick remember that good you document and I'm sorry up for 20 years Kids couldn't handle that 50 spade that spade had a kid in his neighborhood get killed He was on a rap document on YouTube. They made a documentary about these kids They couldn't even handle like YouTube fame. They started killing each other immediately Tramplor Ross I get on his videos sometimes I drove home from the What what was that place in Virginia fucking? Because I went for sleeping dude last time I laughed as always I did earlier fuck was a Monroe is on the way home I know at the Monroe's for me doing I drove I think I've showed you the clip. Oh he we talked about it again It's my favorite thing I've ever seen I drove home from Virginia and watched like a four-hour video on O block Tramplor Ross. I just saw a nice there's a meme going around of O block what of Well, they put all sides the squad together, and then it's either got a dove or locked up or who's dead eat literally the entire squad There's like 30 dudes. It's like a football photo put a blackout. That is they're all gone That is like there's one guy that's not in jail or dead. That's like all that's like all that also are Ross It's crazy, but it has all the nicknames on there too. Which is pretty great. That's great like fucking squeaky like a little pipped a little pipped Pippet stop like a dove underneath it and they're like it's god damn. Yeah, they were all tweeting like I just killed that fucking pussy I did it. I met that was me. I'm smoking weed. We named after that's the ramp up where they're like oh shit on Twitter Be like right now come get us the funniest one though is there was a guy named I think it's mr. Disrespectful That's the one that died. That's my neighbor. Yeah, so I watched that documentary. It was hilarious. He was like he told it He was like they were like what's your name? He's like mr. Disrespectful. Like why do they call you that? He's like I just for real be disrespect the people Well, this is how disrespectful it was he dug up one of his ops graves. Yeah, I was wild and like danced on it He dug up the he killed a guy and then danced on his grave. Yeah, he's dead now, but now he's dead Yeah, I live by the sword. That's the only I mean that's like a biblical. That's old. You said the best enough digging somebody. I don't mean I don't You'd have to cartman their family is the only way to be more disrespectful is to grind them up Maybe brave hard time. They did that. Yeah, why are you like I'm gonna call yourself that? I think that disrespectful That move gets some doctor disrespectful. I think you got a PhD Graves Do the way you can be more disrespectful is if I showed up to fight you and your dead grandmother's clothes Zero even the devil was like come on man. Hey come on man. I'm gonna be so bummed out if it's not the south-barred devil He's there if I die is not him. He's like hi. Hey, what's up guys you're all herbalist sir. Oh You're fucking crazy. Oh, he goes and doing it That was my best joke for my favorite jabber made it what I used to do I was like when I was opening for so I'd be like Yeah, this is my impression. This is my impression of a lot calling us all have been laden the night before 9/11 Just be like dude, that must have been nuts for people. Look. There's the word dude. You know how much I hate towers And this is just rope the capitalist bitch. This is no sound. This is the devil calling us out of a lot on on 9/12 Oh shit. You gotta do it because it's crazy. Oh my god. There's no that many girls. The best part was watching you get excited to do that joke doing it on stage and then when you run out of real estate and you just be like you guys do it anyways Yeah, it's so far anyway But it is so funny how you guys actually turn it yeah, I don't I wish I still had that I tried my best to hit the fucking thigh slap for you It was so it made my best it made me laugh really hard. You hit a thigh slap. He hit the thigh slap bring him out Not the mic just he did the I tried they come yeah, he did fake hope did like to look over Dan's gone. Oh, shit. It was great. Hey, what's all everybody? Yeah, the Chicago stuff. They thought they're like for real getting away with it and the cops are like They're fucking killing each other, dude. That's like kind of problem. We all have to do anything. Alright, I know. I don't want to say this Yeah, six things easier. They're actually pretty bad. Normally he'd kill them listen I've been a Chicago police officer for 15 years. This is the least I've ever worked. I'll tell you what I love that King Vaughan This guy does my jab for me Automated we've got every Joe down and put a gun in the guy's hand, but this fella down in O black there's a guy Which was he's like let me tell you about this guy. This guy says this. Let me tell you about this guy I was like talking to a painter on last break. He's never gets to it Kind of wait for this. This is amazing. I know one that I keep seeing on is a Farley It's when Sandler's the waiter and he's doing the pepper so funny when the Italian restaurant the breaking Sandler is a Kristi Ali I'm not sure who the lady is, but it's Farley or Sandler's like would you like some crack peppers and Farley's at the table He's like I would Thank you. He just see Sandler like Yeah Just be the dick Man share rocks this rules. You know another good Farley It's anything you want you ask me in a dairy work. Oh, he's like anything you need Can I say your place you see the thing is this It's anywhere where he's hitting the due box. He's like 57. He's seven rolling stones street fight You hit G8 No, you're right now your nephews can be interested to just sleep. Yeah, it's like a shiny. He's going No, that's me Yeah, what else is going on fellas? It was a good pot. Oh Dude, did anything happen with ventric man being an um Is he on trial now like fucking Evales here? I saw him going like 150 miles now. Yeah, I saw that video I thought that might have been old. I don't know. I don't know if he's in trouble. I don't know that guy Straight up looks evil now with his eyes all of the things also boys with trump. I think he's fine He's like I can do whatever I walk the new face polls are freaking me to fuck out Yeah, it's fucked up. Yeah, yeah, was that faker? What was the verdict on that? I don't know It's it's our new will Smith's this is the new slap was that really fake James carries face and I don't believe it What's the gym can't you guys thought the will Smith Chris rock slap was work? And I thought it was just a funny guy It's just for like three years. You can make you're just drinking and you're like dude You remember that if you get anyone to talk to someone talk about it and they get very interested They do the eye colors it was it nuts. Yeah, the slap dude. It's crazy. I think enough time is passed. We can start talking about it again Reserat because that was fucking crazy. I agree with that a lot. I love it. Do you think sat back down and then one Best actor you win the best award awesome keep my wife for what could you imagine blowing your nose and Roger Adele's tie and then winning the Super Bowl three to Williamson. Oh, okay, that was good though. It was good Fuck it. He's backed out right king Richard. No, he tried rapping and it got weird. Oh, no that one. I like girls Everyone's like all right. Yeah, I need to go to the concert in London. What are you saying about that? Yeah, I'm not gay I know if gay and I'm not wearing a wire really has like a really extended theater probably not for here But about that. Yeah, just like once you get into like a rap shoot where you're like I need 15 girls naked dancing around me I'm not gay. I'm straight and I'm a fucking murderer and we're going to cut it at that and that's that The old block was like you got a phone follow me Followers were about it through this crazy videos no bitches none 50 shirtless Black teenagers in a apartment jumping up and down pointing guns at the camera being a neighbor literally the scariest videos I've ever seen in my life. I haven't been that scared since the Rough Riders and yeah, yeah, it's a BMX with the four by four. BMX was putting out scary videos on ATVs. Oh block the only other guys that hold down like that are ISIS There's never checks in their videos. Yeah, people so they might have to crown ISIS has done. Yeah. All right there. They don't rap though They could I'll say that I'm about US propaganda. They're making it too gay Oh, yeah, let other people make what's up with the White House The the the part me up intro 23 year old is running the tour the White House core whatever that is. Yeah, that needs stop That's fucking nuts. That sucks ass. They did like a bowling one. Yes. Yeah, I think there might be a 23 year old at the helm Fuck you. That's absolutely what they do It's like I gotta be honest. It reads Yeah, but they were just probably like hey Rubio. Does your nephew want to run White House Twitter? And he was like oh, that'd be hilarious Been hilarious to on these so far. Oh, it doesn't matter, dude. I'm gonna open the straight You're you by yourself. Yeah, you should start another Hey, still to theme park I'm opening the straight of hormones Of the shores of Iran Committee and Shane Gillis we have to know someone on the nitties open it up or you're gay. You guys ever jack off Look at this the ships This is you standing on a good speaker. I just they would be like You should went to that Saudi thing. Oh, yeah, that was where your connects were put them open the straight Do it now. Yeah, you think I should go to read out now. Yeah, go. No just to open For now show on the round on a floating stage on a Chinese barge on a belly Dude, we'll get the Chinese involved Smiley the pirates are gonna show up and go actually those guys pretty funny I saw him. I saw him in the street It's not that great the clip story Unbelievable clip lives in the straight of mother Clips worry live straight of hormones. It opened up oil and down to six dollars a barrel Half the price now. I'm gonna open the straight of hormones. Dude. Do you know about take Diego Garcia? This is fucking island that's like do you go down into like the Indian Ocean The British found this fucking island dude and they can hit Asia they can hit everywhere if they just take this over so they took it over It's like 50 fucking years ago or whatever and they can do whatever the fuck they want the British the British Nothing and I and trump got busted. He was like he runs a state. I'll show us here. Let's fucking know England is nothing It does they sent one boat they have a bomb the foes. Yeah Don't order we help you England are bombs these days. Yeah, but you're only globally warmed up They're like they could be like jankos. They could come back True. Sure. I mean they're capable of puree and they're back on is that and we're back to colonizing They're the only one who had the real white slaves. Yeah, they had a song down Yeah, dude, you really think about that they come back like John Wick They're like oh you think we're gonna make him slaves the light is And like trump trump says some shit. I can't I don't know. It's some shit. Yeah, Trumple led classified whole led class about shit slip in every meeting or lucky. He's married because if he was trying to get pussy still pull him out, dude It's like one spot the thing snapped on his finger and he's like I would have hid the pain. He's still trying to get posted Oh, no, I know, but I'm saying if it was out of the only marriages ever He held that boy back. - I don't think Milani, he's like, "I can't, I love Milani, did you watch the movie?" - Well, I started it, it's-- - The Milani movie, Milani, I cannot wait. - I want him to be the number one guy on. - You got to make Lamar and Nate watch it with you. - Oh yeah. - It's really well shot. - I kind of just want to watch it, I just want to watch it, I want you to be hilarious. - Dude, you know what nuts, it's like, the soundtrack must have caused a fortune. - Well, they got shoes on. - No, no, they got shoes by us. - No, no, no, all the bands that are in it, they just took all the music they wanted and put it in. - It's like a pump me up mid with drone footage and shit. - With Hop Milani and Walter L, yeah. - All right, I will have to sit them. - But it gets beat, she goes in like, fashion shit, there's a bunch of dudes like Measurer for dresses, I'm gonna shot this off. - Not for you, I wouldn't mind watching the measurements, what's going on there. - No, poor Shots me, when he gets to the party, you'll all shut it off too. - Okay, well, I'm not gonna ever watch it. (laughing) - I will never watch that. - They might have been a singer, a messenger or something. - I just wanted to see what it was. - Yeah, they turned them all into Manchurian candidates. (laughing) - Yeah, do you know if you watched Milani, that was what MK Ultra led to. - I mean, I think. - It was Maraniac. - So wait, does your boy, your guy's a boy, Trump, that you guys voted for, does he? - Right now we're on rock. - Yeah, you guys voted for it. - Uh, it's him. - You actually have to say on how it holds me well, that's literally five minutes ago. - Where? - Dude, like dude, he's the man you got him at it. - Where? - Last week. - Last week, yeah. - Oh no, that was a, you said he didn't have the juice. I said he still definitely has the juice. - He doesn't need juice. - The juice is sweet. - No, no, no. When he comes to shit talking, the boy's still got it. You were trying to say he lost his step. - He's losing a little bit. - Oh yeah, his fastball is not. - No, no. - That's hittable now. - As soon as he said it, I watched him-- - He's there, looks great. - I watched him throw about one of his-- - Right there, is there, looks amazing. - 2-1-0-6, that's like Dolan Ryan at the end. Dolan Ryan was like-- - I don't know, this is a great documentary. - I just, that was a great ask. I just listened to Bill say he lost his fastball, then I watched a clip of him going, I just passed a fucking test that would be impossible for you. You too. And I said, this guy's still got it. Where are we talking about it? - Now I'm not, now the juice is different than decision making. - When he got hit with Epstein and he let her pretty much shit, like why are we fighting? - Why are we fighting? - That was a low point. - As far as juice goes, low point, the juice-- - Oh, what about Rees? - What do you guys do? - I have a retarded theory that Obama and Trump are actually friends, and this has all been a sign-up to wrap up the Middle East, we're just going to wrap it up, we're going to put it in a little bow, it's going to be ours. And they pretended that they were enemies. - No, it'll never be. - They were enemies. - Now this could be the end of us. - Obama was actually like, you know what, you'll never be as president of the United States. And that was actually like a little like dubbing, like, dude, you will be the president. - This is what you don't understand, though, Shane. You play this, right? - Five years, yes. - You play this. - Yeah. - You play it with five at a time. - So, Obama. - That's true. - Yeah, there's a lot of dudes on the internet right now, like, going with some crazy theories and they're like, it's chess, and it's 5D, Trump's in control is like, "I did see that." - God, yeah. - Oh, yeah, it was the dumbest, if you were to tweet our soul, it was like, it was 5D, he was like, it's chess, it's 5D, and he goes, "The reason we took Venezuela, so we could take Iran." - I can't. - I could have come up with that one. - Exactly. Do it. - Well, sorry. - It's true. - It's your friend who dates a stripper who swears she's not a slut. - She's not a slut. - That's what I was talking about. - She likes to dance. Last week of the dudes posted videos of the lower. - Sorry, this is like it's fast dancing. - She's dancing. - How much more do you make? - You're a hoker. - How much more do you make in the night? - You're a hoker. - Possibly? - Yeah, that's a great. - No, they're a hoker. - The dudes who post videos on fucking Twitter, so I have a natch. All of you who's getting bombed a hell and someone's like, "That's not Tel Aviv, that's action from 2016." And they just said, "I mean, dude, it's a fucking war." It's like, you're literally on Twitter. - It's a fight of war. - I don't even know, I don't know where to find a single piece of information. - It's done. - Oh. - That's honestly the greatest win in Russia's history was just destroying us having Vowlify. - Yeah, you're being tricked into thinking Russia gives us, but they're Russia's doing nothing, dude. Because I'm a fuck about Russia. - Never see that dude. That's not anything. - You don't want it as probably a win-you-crain, right? - They know when you just have a headache, and you just always attribute it to, "Hug over." - You go fucking Russia. - Yeah, "Hug over," you go, "Russia." The Russia's like, "I don't even. " - Now, you're getting close. There's one more. - Tell out of the cold war, kids. - It's not Russia. - Yeah, get the real headache. - Nope. - You'll get there. - No. - And then you're gonna go. - Go. - Oh my god. - Get a feeling. (laughs) - Get a feeling. - None of my problems real. It's just real. ♪ Why do they make all our decisions ♪ - It's like that thing with the IQ chart, it's like. - Melka. - "Russia's low IQ." No offense. - I love that dude. - "Slave and Russia" is the equivalent of my dad being like, "I really want to know 'cause Trump's a Russian spot." - You go, "Russia." And then you go, "It's not." - It's not Russia. - But, it's somebody. - And I'll give you a hint. Get it over the whole time. (laughs) I'll give you a hint who it is. I'm not gonna say who it is. - Is he actually gonna do a concert there? - Is he gonna do a concert there? - No, I'll say. - Oh, fuck, I wish I had a concert. - If he did, it comes with "Hell of Eve," either they would kill some of his fellow. - So, you ever watched a video like it was like, or that it didn't tell of you? - I thought Barren's all doing "Dude," they was AI. - Sure did I. - Yeah. - That's fucking crazy. But you ever watched a documentary about the monster next story? You ever see it? About the guy who worked on his secondary? - We've talked about this. - Yeah. - They worked as the guy who worked at a like Ford factory. And they were like, aren't you the blotcher of Treblinka? And he was like, what? - They're like, I don't think-- - You got to send rain. - He was like, for a trial. - Yeah. - He was just like a-- - He was just like a-- - The random dude. - Yeah, the best part of the whole fucking thing. - Maybe. You might as well just let the butcher. The best part of the entire-- - They were like, you're the guy who worked at the concentration camp, right? - No, they have a trial and the guy goes, "How did he get here?" He's like, "But a dream." - Over the ocean. - My favorite though is I used to-- yeah, I used to talk about doing that as a bit. And then Louie, in Nevermind. But just the idea of a guy like a factory just like pushing fucking buttons and then somebody being like, "What's with the fucking butcher of DACA?" - I was just showing Billy-- - Stop. Oh, just don't say that. - What the fuck, dude? - James. - Yeah, just wait a god. You were a SS officer. - Shut the fuck up. - Dude, stop joking around about that. You're in a flight. You're like looking down at Jerusalem. - Shit. - Do you remember the old Lucky Louis? - I'm going to Israel. - I remember the old Lucky Louis clip when he's in an AA meeting. And he's like, "You guys are just all assholes." - No. - Do you remember this? I just shared it to Bell. - Very good. - No, it's a good ass fucking show. - Lucky Louis was great on HBO. - In that documentary, he goes to Jerusalem. And he has to get a lawyer and everyone's like, "No one's picking a lawyer." - The lawyer's guy. - Oh, yeah. - The lawyer, dude. - He put holes up in a porch like, "I'll do it." (laughing) - That's how many people, he's the great. - How many people did you kill? - Yeesh. - Oh, we can get him out. - What's your 401k? - I got a fit, that guy's name is fucking classic. What is that called? - Got a rule or? - Yes. - Monster next story. - Devil next story. - What was his ethnicity? Was he Ukrainian? - Polish. - Polish. - It was hilarious. He's like from Cleveland. - It's like in a Polish neighborhood. - The people, the Polish people in Cleveland are like, "He wouldn't do that." - He's the head of our Sauer crowd club. - Your own Sheftal. - He's your own Sheftal. - I'll think of a fucking case. - Rolls up in a porch. - I'm going to watch this. I'm excited to watch this documentary. - It's great. - It's great. - So you really, yeah, you'll see. - You'll see. - You're not going to know. - I'm going to watch it. - It's real because evilness. - I got WBC and I got fucking this documentary. - WBC. - World baseball. - World baseball. - We lost to the Wops. - We did the Wops. - The Wops. - The Wops. - It was a lot of fun. We're in Venezuela now, bro. No, but Italy's fun. Vinnie Paschentino, the mask watch, bro. He's the man. Can you show a little story about the past watch? Passwatch is the fucking man's, bro. That's just Italian. Have you guys a guy can play for Italy? Dude, he, hold on. Did I tell you that you know the past watch story? No, sky rules. So it has the first basement for the Kansas City Royals. Yeah, cool is hell. Oh, yeah, a huge WD. I forgot you were it was great. It was. Yeah, so he, we, we did a show in Cleveland. The Royals were playing the Cleveland Indian, or the Guardians. They, excuse me, excuse me. She looks good. Now, uh, thank you for getting her correct, bro. Hey, look, that's crazy that they got to, but uh, it must have been the back. But he took the back. So I was using proper pronouns of me, uh, yeah, you did it earlier, but we do a show. No, it comes in either the A4. What did the buzz at the show now? But now they, uh, a couple of the guys from the Royals came to the show. And then most of the guys were like, yeah, we got a, got dip out. We got a game tomorrow, not the past watch. Do you pass or I can't get a glass to hold this line of an average tomorrow? I don't give a fuck. Let's have a little fun because, because you guys going out, because you guys going out after the show, we go, yeah, and the, and like Bobby would you here and like, all the Royals were like, all right, we're going back. We got a, uh, we got to play tomorrow during the day. Yeah, it's a past watch. It's like looks down to us. You guys going out? Yeah, he goes, fuck it. I'm D H and I'll go out with you guys. And then right as he said that, Shane goes, $100. You're going to hit a home run and, and Vinny was like, book it. And then we went out, a drink, do we land and we land in hours? And now we were, we were going to a casino. Hi, and we get to a red light. Yeah. And you can see the past watch was thinking to himself, it's probably get to bed. I got to play the clean with Indian strong. He just gets out of the fucking Uber and go, stop, stop, stop. Like at a red light, he was like, he's been silent for like 15 minutes. And before that, he was chatting a little. And then all of a sudden, he can see the wheels returned him for a while. He goes, you know what guys? I got to go ahead and he got out of a red light. I respected it because it was, it was the best duck and roll I've seen out of a car. For a while, and he just disappeared into the night and then we went next, next day. Goes yard. Damn, hit the home run. Really? Yeah. Dude did it out of the forest. He's the man Katie was going nuts. I told her about it and we landed in the fucking DC. She's like, city where you are. And I was like, dude, city where you are. He's like, oh, he fucking really grew up. It was great. And Bobby sent me a picture of him and his fucking in the ice bath. Just I'll hit. Got it. So he's on team Italy, right? But he's like their leader. He's like their glue guy. He's also the captain. Yeah. He's a locker room locker room guy. They do his locker that he hit a three home runs in their last. Well, he was over 12 before that. I know that he's zero, but he does. They have an espresso machine in the dugouts. So when you hit a home run, you're drinking a espresso. Holy shit. My jacket and they all go, he put on an armani. Yeah, they go like, dude, they're up eight. Nothing on the other side. He just takes place Houston and Miami and San Juan, Puerto Rico and Tokyo. Now it's down to Houston. Yeah, it'll be in Miami and Houston. Like we're just used to our is America still in it. Yeah, we need to literally to be in Mexico and we did it. Yeah, two. Our, our, like, who do we have? Oh, we have to make the race twice Harper, Aaron judge. All right. We got everybody in the game. But we, we tried to swore we're, we tried to rest. We tried to rest some boys against the waps. And the waps went nuts. It was eight nothing. They put a lot of fucking kills. Those Italians are good with bats, which was funny because the first, the first home run and they're all doing the espresso shit. Yeah, that's fun. They're having a good time. That's cute eight nothing. You're going, these motherfuckers do that on a turn on their country. There you go. It's fucking the checking the size and war. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, who did thought the waps weren't going to be loyal first first. Then you're like, this is, this is a lot of fun culture. This is hilarious. Six, then he goes, look, host to Nostril. You see fuck and pieces shit. Yeah, I became Elliott Nass real quick. We got to put an end to this shit. Follow the money, follow the money. But Aaron judge fucking had a chance to win it. We had two runners on bottom of the ninth, two outs and he fucking struck out. Italy got a physical freak there. It's crazy. We there at the garden when he was there. No, no, no, it was, it was, it would have been nice for you to be. He was at your show. Yeah. Holy shit. He is a horse. Yeah, he looks like a horse. It's hilarious. He's a horse man. He looks like a man. You walk through a room. You go, what the fuck? Oh my god. But also it's because he's proportionally correct. Yeah, that's what I mean. He's still like that one before dude. It's terrifying. We were in Arizona. We saw this dude. Do you remember that? Crazy. Dude, we were in Arizona. We saw this cowboy walking to a coffee shop and I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me and Billy was like, yeah, it was paid. Walk up to that dude and it was like, was he, was he proportionally good? Yeah. He's proportionally good. So long. Jeans like normal height and everything. He's like a NBA player. You can watch walk by it. It's all bones. Yeah, free like long arms. Who's huge? Yeah. A proportionally correct dude that's 6'8". It's crazy. He's fucking hilarious. We're like LeBron's 6'9 and he's pretty, he's pretty proportionally good. I can't watch him with his icy semi-highlights. I think Jordan. Yeah. No, they just send me all this like LeBron flop. LeBron flop. LeBron. Jeans funny as my algorithm is all Larry Bird shit talk videos. You said the doctor joy, Gilly. Oh, I just love all those bird skis, would you? Wait, I didn't bury you. I'm a little bearded. I love laying legends. I'm talking to the heck from the beginning. When Larry was like, I'm going to hit this three in this corner and then he did and you see the entire hawks bench because it was right in front of their bench like. There's a story. The coach came in the next day and like put on film and was like. Did you watch the ABA thing? Fuck you. Don't you need to stop the what? You guys watch the ABA thing? I think she was slick. He made a whole documentary on the ABA. Oh, five and everybody. It's pretty new. Yeah. Oh, absolutely watch that. It's going to 100, though. Wild is to go. Let's retard it. Well, 100 points and then just fucking everybody. By the way, illegally probably at the time. You're just taking down white ladies. They're like, yo. Yeah. 100. Yeah. I'm up here. He's his whole white woman over here. Like Ricky's on Tabitor Vizier. That's it. Get it at my life. God, Dennis. Will. You ever see him like doing track? He's somewhat proportional. Yeah. Probably proportional. Yeah. There's that clip of him being like him and Michael Jordan or Bill Walton's telling the story. Is it the elevator? No, about. They're at the 90s all all century team or whatever and will Michael Jordan arguing about who's the best of all time. And someone's like, well, championships or whatever and then will it's like, you know, my friend was telling me that the other day. And he's got 11 of them. And he was talking about Bill Russell and you're like, Oh, shit. Then he got him at the end. You're like, Oh, yeah. Will Chamberlain scored 100 points with no three pointer. Also, yeah. When you watch Will highlights, it is funny because he is good. Yeah. Like he looks almost modern. Yeah. Well, you watch the soul power thing. They show the, in the soul power thing. Well, they show the old A, the, before the ABA, they show the old NBA. And it's so beat. And then they're like, dude, they brought in a three point. Yeah. It was like laces on the ball. Yeah, but they could tackle each other. That's what it's crazy. That's where Bill and beer came in. You know, the 89. No, no, no, no, no, no. Bill and beer was a problem. He was just pissing everyone off. He was the original rage. You might have average fucking five. He just fucking people's arms. The Montana documentary was that he played basketball. Oh, you don't like him. Joe Montana was like as good at basketball as he was at football. No, she's a, he was a running court. Well, he's in the documentary. They're like, he was good. That's wild. I used to be obsessed with Jim Flambier average nine and five. I was close. Nine and five. Yeah. That's like my stats. And he's a legend just because he was a hog. He was really, he was a hog on Detroit. That would cause problems for people. People hated Bill Lamb. You know, Lambeer. No. He's hilarious. Watch anything. He would just go on flight to all the best place. Dude, hard fouls. He'd be like, he was a good. He was straight up a good and he would get. He was a six foot 10 good. He was like, I'll slap that guy. That's like hack a shack. Like for a baby. I am going to punch Michael during the mouth. All right. Just get out there. You fucking idiot. Did they smoke people in for shit? Yeah. Just go like just club is fucking for our. Yes. Fucking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember that. Yeah. Yeah. Was that like what part of his career is that? He was a rookie. He was a rookie with the magic. Yeah. I was a rookie. Yeah. Goldie from Bluechips, Causal, Eric Almson. Imagine setting your makeup, then forgetting it's even theirs. Meet new grippy setting mist from Mabelie, New York. Jeldermis technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours, with flexible all-day-comphe grip, no tightness, no stickiness, no residue. Just plump, dewy, hydrated skin that still feels like your skin. Try new, grippy setting mist from Mabelie, New York. Maybe it's Mabelie. He got gay. Dude, both of them are great. He got gay. Right now it's great. Jesus shuttlesworth. Come on. Took his official visit to Elon University and that he did eat? Right. When he bangs those white checks, he never saw something. I never even got close to watching. That's why you went to Elon. It's because you watched the art game. I remember kids used to say at high school like Dude Elon, the women at Dude Ratio was crazy. It was. I never even heard of the place. Didn't help. Yeah. Nothing you can do with that information. Yeah. There was a lot of information. Yeah. There's nothing you can do about it. There's a lot of babes, but it doesn't help when you're 300 pounds in quitting the football team. When you're not on the team in 300 pounds, it's not that cool. Yeah, but they say that all the time. I went to Arizona and everyone's like, Oh Arizona Park School. You're like, I was poor. That's it. Yeah. But I was poor and had to work. That's where I got pussy. It was not. We used to drive to Penn State and they'd be like, You think this is cool? Arizona. Arizona. I'll be honest. I just did Arizona recently and it holds up. It rocks. Arizona State is insane. Arizona State. They look. Yeah. Get a little off. Do you remember this, right? Is that where Phil Mickelson went? Phil Mickelson, like, bet scoff in Arizona with Arizona kids? I might not be remembered that, right? Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Spotify. Do it.